Just had my going back to work discussion...

[pudding77]

And could really do with some advice!

I've just been to talk to my work about when I return in January. They're being really good about flexibility but the problem is the work itself. I wasn't happy there to start with and the work I do has completely stalled while I've been away so when I go back, I'll be pretty much doing exactly the same work I have been for the last 2 years! Which is a very depressing thought!

I still have to talk to dh about it all but I'm trying to weigh up the pros and cons of going back or being a SAHM. Has anyone had any similar experiences or even just an opinion they'd like to share to help me decide?

Sorry it's a bit long!

[JessaJam]

Look at your potential take home salary , minus any child care costs associated with going back to work ( unless DH is going to cover that completely) what is left over at the end? Is it worth it? Do you need that money to pay mortgage/rent, buy food, pay bills etc?

[waggledancer]

You need to weigh up how happy you would be in either situation. I really enjoyed my year at home on mat leave, but was ready to go back to work for the social interaction. Don't love my job like i used to, other priorities now, and it is very tiring but full time at home wouldn't work for me at the moment. Money wise are you needing to go back or is your salary for extras?
Also don't underestimate the advantage of working for flexible/helpful employers, cos many aren't.

[pudding77]

tbh we can probably manage without the salary, dh has said he would rather I stay at home as he thinks 1yr is too young to go into childcare. At the minute I am happy to stay home but just wondering if that will have changed by Jan. Any money I earn would be a bonus, I was more just thinking of the social aspect.

"Also don't underestimate the advantage of working for flexible/helpful employers, cos many aren't. "

Exactly, Wd, I've been there a long time so have built up a lot of benefits plus we get parental leave days etc. Also, because we do want to have another child in the future it does have an excellent maternity package which would be really good to have again!

I guess I just need to try to work out the balance of the money with being happy!!

[pudding77]

oops, also meant to say thanks!!

[WideWebWitch]

Isn't there another option? Find another job you like? Or go back, ask for some training to make you more employable and look for something else in the co or out of it? And when factoring in childcare costs you should consider that they shouldn't be considered to just come out of YOUR salary, it's your dh's child too! And if you want to work then that shouldn't be the only consideration.

[pudding77]

Hi WWW, my dh is paying for absolutely everything else, mortgage, bills etc. so if I go back to work then there will be more than enough for me to pay for childcare and still have enough for myself.

I think you have a good point about another job tho. There won't be anything in my current co as it's all pretty much moving to B'ham & N'castle (apart from my dept, no redundancy which would have been ideal!). But maybe I could find something closer to home and when I'm ready to as well!

[WideWebWitch]

Oh, but imo Pudding, it's also about the psychological effect of the childcare coming out of YOUR salary as opposed to some theoretical (or literal!) joint pot or account.

I speak as someone who earned slightly more than dh1 (ex h) when we got together but somehow ended up paying childcare out of my salary and it being MY responsibility because I was the woman. His paid the morgage (which was the same amount a month!) but really I feel much better about how it works now with dh2, which is that we put all into joint account and all outgoings are joint, not just mine or his in terms of responsiblity. Iyswim.

Btw, was a SAHM for 5 years, now work ft oth and wish I'd gone back sooner.

[JessaJam]

I meant DH covering childcare as in he would be caring for the child while you worked...not dh paying for the childcare! I live in 2006 you know!!

If you don't like the job, don't 'need' the money and don't really feel ready to go back...find another job, maybe when your baby is a bit older, maybe part time? Would leaving impact on your maternity pay (some places you have to work with the company for certain ammount of time after maternity pay otherwise you have to pay some of it back to them iirc)?

[pudding77]

I have to say WWW I disagree with you on that point. My feeling is that if I'm working then I should contribute something and it would make sense for it to be the childcare.

Sorry JessaJam, didn't realise what you meant when you said dh look after the childcare!! I have checked with hr and I don't have to go back to work as long as I give them enough notice.

Tbh, I've had a chat about it with dh last night and I'm not going to go back. The flexibility is great but for 21/2 days a week I'll be unhappy which isn't the best thing for ds. Also, I don't think I'm ready to return yet, so I'll look for something closer to home when I am. Thanks for all your help!

[sfxmum]

well i like my job and there were possibilities of further development and promotion but it did not afford the flexibility i needed. we had decided that dd would not go into childcare before 3 which we would be able to make it work if both our jobs gave us flexibility. his did mine did not.

i went back for 3 months and am now about to leave for sahm. dd is 15m we want another. i have enrolled in uni so hope to do that for the next few years.

all about choices and circunstances nrver easy there are always compromises
good luck

[MeAndMyBoy]

What about working from home?

I started a business from home about 12mths ago and I was working it part time round working 3 days a week in an office (in a job that was boring and had no prospects of career development) and looking after DS who's 3. I am earning the same working my part time job as from our business and intend for it to be earning much more before my years maternity leave I have just started is up.

If you'd like information about what I'm doing please get in touch working from home