What the hell is going wrong ??

(28 Posts)

Can anyone help me work out what I'm doing wrong ?

Been back at work after 2nd mat leave for almost 2 months. Dcs are 4 and 1. I work a 4 d week but work much more hours than that.

I commute to London 1.5 to 2hrs each way 3d per wk. I leave the house before 6 to do this (to allow me to leave early enough to get home for bath time).

I feel totally overwhelmed. I have a nanny who is great but I hate having one and a person in my house. Plus it's financially crippling. I have to live with that for now.
I can just about cope with things if I have a weekend with no plans so I can get chores done. This weekend I've been ill so haven't done those things so place is a mess. Nanny is tidy if I leave it tidy. But it seems not if I don't.

At work I cannot get past my inbox of hell the mountains of crap. I've not achieved anything since going back and I'm about to be reviewed on this (due to timings of reviews) and I know I'm going to get a bad result despite being a high performer before narrowly missing promo before my mat leave.

I just feel there is no point to it. I constantly need time off for this that and the other for the kids and nothing feels right.

Maybe I just need to vent. And breathe. blushblush

Alanna1 Sat 30-Nov-13 09:22:27

Nothing. Its tough. I think FT is easier than PT. I found PT didn't work for me. Your nanny needs to do some cleaning - if she won't, look for a nanny-housekeeper. Good luck!

Just popped on to strongly agree with those who say that you must raise the issue of workload. If you are paid 0.8 you should only work 0.8.

Erm, I think I may also be posting that to myself.

Cindy34 Sat 30-Nov-13 09:28:25

Routines at the weekend may help to make the weekend more family time. Concentrate on the important things, the relationship between you and DH plus the children. Material things like the tidiness of the house is not that important.

Nanny - they should be doing various duties connected with the children, so things like children's laundry (and some may do all family laundry) including bedding, general tidy - though you have two young children so expect there to be mess. If you need somewhere not messy to chill out in, then allocate one room for that, which is kept clean and tidy, possibly to the extent that children do not go in it. Nanny is there to make your life easier, so see what they can do, within the constraints of your contractual agreement. Nanny needs to realise that if you don't have a job, they don't have a job, so it is in their interest to provide as much help as possible.

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