House move and return to work coinciding / bad timing! WWYD re childcare?

(8 Posts)
PenelopeChipShop Fri 06-Sep-13 20:49:59

I've just been offered a job this afternoon, great opportunity, 4 days a week. My DS is 14 months old, I've been at home with him full time since he was born. I worked up to just before his birth but was made redundant on mat leave, so this is a totally new job for me, plus I've never left him for more than about 4 or 5 hours, and v infrequently at that, as I just haven't needed to. Also he is still bf, and to my shame likes to feed to sleep when with me although he'll settle for DH or my mum. This is abig part of what worries me about leaving him in general!

Anyway getting the job is good news but the timing is so bad as we've just had an offer accepted on a house in a different area, though still commutable to the same job. We are moving to the town my parents live in so long term they can help a lot with childcare and are very happy to do so. I don't know when the move date will be but I imagine maybe mid to late Nov. I'll have to start work by early Oct. Will it be really unsettling for Ds to be settled into a nursery for a period of only 2 -3 months then have to both move house AND get used to a new childcare setting? I don't see what hoice I have really but am just so worried about how he'll cope with so much upheaval at once when he's used to just being home with me. Or am I being a tiny bit pfb? My DH says children are adaptable and I shouldn't worry, but DS has always been particularly clingy. Had to co sleep for the first year as he's such a cuddle monster and obv am still bf him! He's not hugely independent yet but he is only 1! I think I just want someone to tell me it will be ok!!

PenelopeChipShop Fri 06-Sep-13 20:51:17

Sorry that was such an essay! My mind is a big mess right now.

Mandy21 Fri 06-Sep-13 20:59:49

When would the new job start? I agree that children are very adaptable, but would it be possible for you to find a place at a nursery in your new area, with a bit of help from your parents? It might mean a longer journey for a couple of months but imo better than going through settling him at 1 nursery only to change him a couple of months later.

PenelopeChipShop Fri 06-Sep-13 21:35:47

Aargh that's what I was wondering too tbh. I think if I did that then basically DS and I would have to stay with my parents during the week until we had actually moved, and they could do some days and I'd have to find a CM or nursery for the others. Just not ideal in terms of him not seeing his dad all week. Also I don't know if my parents would actually agree to that! But the journey is too long to do otherwise. Basically job is in central London, we live one side and they live the other. I could ask if I could delay the start date as much as possible but I don't think it would go down v well.

Honestly - yes it will unsettle him - you going back to work will do this anyway, but once you're over the first few months it'll be fine! You might be worth having a think about nursery then a CM which is a nicer setting for toddlers IMO.

dontyouknow Sat 07-Sep-13 16:24:00

Have you checked nurseries in each area to find out if they would have places in October - it is only a few weeks away. You might find that your choice is made for you.

I have also seen people getting the train home after work with young children - ie using a nursery near work not home. Is that an option? Commuting with a child might be a bit of a hassle but you could then change nurseries if you wanted when you were settled in the new house.

dontyouknow Sat 07-Sep-13 16:27:29

Also, November might well be rather optimistic for a move date, especially if there is a long chain. It could easily be next year when you actually complete.

Sorry - don't want to put a dampner on things - just pointing out that any interim arrangements may end up being for several months. Congratulations on the new job!

ModeratelyObvious Thu 12-Sep-13 00:16:34

I would settle DS into a local nursery now and go from there. The house may fall through, get delayed etc.

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