Very short maternity leave (own choice) - experience?

(29 Posts)
Tasmania Sat 03-Aug-13 17:14:36

Just wondered whether anyone has ever decided to take a very short maternity leave? As in six weeks only?

Many women work so hard to get a proper career established, and to see it going down the drain due to being away for long would be hard to handle. I know this may ruffle a few moms who think its better to stay with the DCs, but there must be others out there who think otherwise...

For those who did - why did you do it, and how did you it go?

Fairylea Sat 03-Aug-13 17:18:59

Are you Katie hopkins? smile

Tasmania Sat 03-Aug-13 17:22:03

Who is that? Off to google 'Katie Hopkins'...

Shlurpbop Sat 03-Aug-13 17:24:46

I took 10 weeks and then went back 1 day a week for 2 weeks, and then 3.5 days a week at 12weeks. Ive worked 3.5 days ever since. Its been ok. In all honesty I found it easier than other mums I know who went back full time after having the full 9 months off. I enjoy my long weekends, but also love my job. By going back sooner part time i didnt get used to such a long time off and I settled into the new routine easily.
Im lucky that it worked well and I have still bonded well wih my daughter who is now 2 smile

Tasmania Sat 03-Aug-13 17:24:52

Ah... ok. No, I'm not her.

Just wondering.

I guess my situation is unique in that if DH and I do try for another one, at my current workplace, the nursery would literally be 2-3 minutes away from my desk max. So lunchtime hour could be spent there...

Shlurpbop Sat 03-Aug-13 17:26:49

Forgot to say that the main reason for doing it was financial and having to continue to pay a mortgage whilst not being entitled to benefits etc. I also love my job and live in an area where jobs are short and didnt want to loose a good job.

Shlurpbop Sat 03-Aug-13 17:29:25

I did the lunchtime thing at first but, as my daughter got older, it was disrupting her day having me turn up for an hour only. She'd think it was hometime and then id leave again and she would be qujte unsettled. Although it was nice for me to see her, it wasnt a benefit to her so I stopped the lunchtime visits. She was much happier for the duration of the day once I stopped!

Fairylea Sat 03-Aug-13 17:32:44

Well when I had dd ten years ago I had 6 weeks off. I didn't really enjoy motherhood in all honesty and was glad to get back to work!

But when I had ds 14 months ago I was in a different frame of mind, and age, and career wasn't so important to me. I'm now a sahm! No plans to ever work again unless I HAVE to.

matilda101 Sat 03-Aug-13 17:33:30

If my husband had let me go back to work I would have done part time. I worked hard to get a good degree and had a very good job that I thoroughly enjoyed and now I am pregnant again and will have been out of the workplace for at least 2 and a half years - it sucks, I hate the fact that I didn't go back to work. My husband wouldn't give up his career so I don't really understand why I had to which is a different story anyway. It would be easier to go back sooner rather than later in my opinion.

Tasmania Sat 03-Aug-13 17:36:14

Yes - finances is the big reason as DH and I earn very similar salaries (me more by a few thousands). So it's not a case of DH earning 75k+ and me earning 25k, and salary sacrifice would be much.

Wow, shlurbop, your daughter seems to be quite independent!!!

Let? Bloody hell, Matilda. That's not how relationships should work. You know that, right?

I went back full time when dd1 was 12 weeks and dd2 ten weeks. It was right for me at the time, but I do think I regret it a bit now tbh. Six weeks - no, I don't think I could have done that.

Tasmania Sat 03-Aug-13 17:40:25

matilda Best friend just had 3 years off on maternity leave (2 kids). Don't think I could ever do that. Sad thing is when she goes back to work, she'd be pretty much on a starter's salary (she got pregnant a year or so into her then new role) that is nearly half of mine, and not worth the commute, as she says in her own words. Basically, childcare + commute = her salary...

Shlurpbop Sat 03-Aug-13 18:18:02

tas I wish she was a bit more independent! She is fine when she is in an environment she recognises wih people she knows, otherwise I have a leg limpet!! I quite like it really, its nice to be wanted! Although the muuummmeee can get a bit much when im trying to grab a drink or walk a couple of steps away from her when we're out!

scottishmummy Sat 03-Aug-13 18:26:24

Don't spend your lunch hour at nursery that's disruptive to you and baby
Hard when you go too. IMO drop off and go.no prolonged ba bye
Go back when suits its v Personal choice

Talkinpeace Tue 06-Aug-13 22:37:54

maternity leave does not exist in the USA

lottietiger Tue 06-Aug-13 22:45:33

I had 20 weeks off then went back full time doing long hours. Now I'm regretting going back 5 days a week but trying to revert to 4 has been a nightmare. I love my job and we need the money but my advice would be to go back 3 or 4 days to start with as it's easier to trade up than down.

Talkinpeace Tue 06-Aug-13 22:46:21

when I had my kids SMP only ran for 14 weeks

TheDoctrineOfAllan Tue 06-Aug-13 23:37:01

Lottie, you can legally request flexible working once per year so if you agree to go back 4 days there's no right to go back up to 5, for example.

Have you done a formal FW request?

Op, if you have a c section then six weeks doesn't
Give you long. But yes, lunchtime visits to nursery may well be disruptive. Do you want time before Baby is born? Does the nursery take children from six weeks (some are 3 months)?

peteypiranha Tue 06-Aug-13 23:44:12

I went back to uni 10 days after my first. I am planning to have a short maternity leave when I have my third in couple of years. It has all worked out fine, and glad I did it as what be a year behind if I hadnt and would of missed out on lots of career opportunities.

RonaldMcDonald Tue 06-Aug-13 23:58:55

I took 3 mths with the first and 6 weeks with the second. I was working PT say 30 hrs pw writing reports re forecasting etc from Day 5 after birth - the day after I was released from hospital.

I WISH that I had taken the time off that I and my baby needed
I knew I needed to do so to keep my job. It was made very clear to me that this was the case

I had a live in nanny and nursery care. I also had a cleaner ironing lady and gardener
I used Ocado

I was utterly miserable as I didn't know anything about my child and then children. I kidded myself that the reports someone else gave me at the end of the day was the same...it wasn't

Horrible situation

mirai Wed 07-Aug-13 00:02:12

Watching with interest as if/when I get pregnant this is the situation I'll be in...

mirai Wed 07-Aug-13 00:05:25

One concern I have is I'm guessing you can't EBF for as long as you might be able to otherwise?

NatashaBee Wed 07-Aug-13 00:08:31

I live in the US and took 12 weeks, which is quite a long time by US standards. I took DS to get baby pics done when he was 2 weeks old, the woman on reception at the portray studio mentioned she had a daughter so I asked how old... Turned out her baby was also 2 weeks old and it was her first day back at work sad that day was my first day out of my pyjamas, I don't know how she did it.

I worked till the Friday and had DS on the Saturday, that was pretty tough. I could have done with some time to rest before the birth. He went to nursery when he was 12 weeks old and I went back full time. I was a sleep deprived mess and completely useless, but we muddled through. DH did his share, otherwise I would have really struggled. It isn't ideal but it is bearable.

peteypiranha Wed 07-Aug-13 08:14:03

I have to say I didnt find it that bad. When I look back 10 days doesnt seem long, but I looked and felt like pre pregnancy. I was only in early 20s though, and tbh I think I had it a lot easier than mums that stayed off at that time. I didnt have the whole my life has changed beyond recognition thing, and it was the making of dh and I.

The thing I think made it easier was dh did every night waking with me, and I was never alone. I know that sounds more tiring, but it really made us feel like a team. I have some great memories of those nights all snuggled up together.

The best things have been dh and I never had anybof the unequality that a lot of women on here talk about with chores/babycare, dd was just as close to dh as me, I managed to get a 2.1, it brought us closer as a couple/family, and now I feel like I could take on the world. It cant be that bad Im doing it again in couple of years wink

lottietiger Thu 08-Aug-13 22:14:27

The doctrine.. No I haven't done a request yet. I printed off the forms and chatted off the record with my boss but he made it clear that my request to change to 4 days would more than likely be turned down sad i find it hard as so gR this week I have seen my little boy for less than 2 hours in total

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