I did not realise it was a paid-for ad;i have just registered on the site and found it hard to navigate in the first place. I have no problem paying for it, but it would have been a lot simpler if this was made clear simply at the start of the conversation.
As for the gender claim, i have absolutely no issue with the right candidate being a man or a woman. However, as i am entering into MUMSnet, i assumed that i am addressing MUMS, therefore female candidates by definition. With the same token i wonder why the whole site is not embroiled in sex discrimination claims for being called MUMSnet rather than PARENTSnet or MUMS&DADSnet!!
I found the site busy and confusing to use. A polite reply giving me the option and pointing me in the right direction for payment would have been the way forward in this case. Deleting my message and delivering such a patronizing (yet unjustified) reply is not beneficial for any party.
Can't imagine how it could be unjustified to tell you you needed to pay for your ad and to advise you that you were putting yourself at risk legally, but there we are! If you say you want a "lady" in a job ad, there is always going to be a risk that people will take you at your word...
I would have thought MNHQ would have emailed you details about how to advertise when they deleted your ad, but they are very helpful so I'm sure if you click on the 'contact us' thingy they will help you.
I'm sure they'd love to hear your feedback about the site as well..
Still speechless that you suggest that i can legally get into trouble for not referring to a 'gentleman' when advertising in MUMSnet, but the site can call itself MUMSnet and and get away with it!. Shouldn't male parents be referred to as DADS on this site (and be addressed as such in the title to avoid, as you point out, sex discrimination accusations), or is this something else i missed in the small print?
Why refer to gender at all in a job ad, if you genuinely don't mind? Just say you need a Tenancy Property Manager!
And while my knowledge may render you speechless I can assure you that yes, requesting a particular gender when recruiting is virtually always illegal, but calling a website something gender-specific is not.