What do I do with my life, its passing me by!?

(10 Posts)
honeysmummy1 Mon 20-May-13 21:02:38

Before I had my DD three years ago I worked full time in the equestrian industry which is what I wanted to do my whole life. When I got pregnant in 2009 I was made redundant and moved back home with my parents. All other staff at the place were also made redundant. I was six months pregnant and no other place would touch me due to the risks involved working with horses, and noone in any other industry would give me a job either. I was forced to sign on. I split with my partner at seven months pregnant as he proved to be a total waste of space. I moved in with my parents and had my DD, who is the light of my life.
I moved into a private let with DD and one year later met my DP who works full time. We moved in together and and I came off benefits and was so lucky to find a part time job in a shop selling kitchenware. They didn't seem bothered by my inexperience at first and kept telling me I was doing really well and was proving to be a good, reliable member of staff. My six month contract came to an end and I was given a weeks notice! I was in bits. They told me that my customer service skills weren't up to scratch, that they are a struggling business and need to make sales, yet told me I was always nice and friendly to customers and helpful. It just didn't make sense. I was so upset I couldn't even argue with them, I just left and never went back!
I just have no idea what to do. I had an interview for another shop and was told I was a top candidate, then a week later receive an email saying standards were high and I need more skills in the retail industry.
I have applied for a horsey job, in a supervisor role and I do have the experience for it but not everything they are looking for. I'm just waiting to hear back from them as the closing date was today. I feel like I'm pinning everything on this job I'm qualified to do as I don't have many options.
I thought about doing a college course but to be honest, we really need to bring in another income and the courses I am interested in last a fair while. I am an ambitious person, just so lost at the moment. Shop work really isn't for me and perhaps they could see right through me.
Any words of wisdom or advice would be appreciated.

Riding instructor? ..

Could give lessons around dd child care.

honeysmummy1 Tue 21-May-13 19:55:08

I don't have the qualifications as a riding instructor, i have them in breeding and horse care. It would take five years to become qualified and would need full time work experience to gain them too, they cost a lot to do as well. It seems there is always a huge hurdle to get over before I can get anywhere.
If I don't get the horse job I need to think about a new career, starting at the bottom somewhere. I'm just turning 23 and scared that my life is going nowhere and that I am young and should try and get as many opportunities as possible, but like I said there is always huge hurdles. I was all geared up to go to catering college until I found out how much it costs for each course! We get no help as DP works full time. We can't afford college courses on his wages. It would take a long time to qualify as well sad
I am so stressed thinking about it all. I want a wage coming in so we can afford luxuries such as being able to save for trips away, day trips to the zoo, DD's swimming lessons and to be able to afford to buy myself new clothes when I need them. We could be worse off though, we are not in any debt, DD has everything she needs and nice clothes, goes to toddler groups three times a week and we can afford to eat fine and run the car.
I'm trying to stay positive but I know I don't have many prospects.

Figbash Tue 21-May-13 20:19:40

There are women on mn (inc. me) who are retraining in their 40s. .. knowing they still have 25 years of a career in them.

At 23 you have plenty of time not to panic and to retrain for 5 years (30 is young on a career path these days) - be that as a riding instructor, vet or vet nurse or doing something equestrian in the forces (sorry don't know if you are interested in the last three or if they are doable - just trying to think what you could do and then specialise in horses). Riding for the Disabled instructor is also an option.

Please don't play it safe at 23 and get any old thing.

pinksomething Tue 21-May-13 20:28:30

If you enjoy selling kitchenware, what about party plan? Sounds like you're friendly and sociable and enjoy the products. I do one - pm me if you'd like to hear more about it!

honeysmummy1 Tue 21-May-13 20:36:43

Thank you Figbash. Horses are all I really know and I don't want to give them up at all. Its so hard to find a part time horsey job in the area though. I felt like a fish out of water working in a shop and part of me is relieved to be let go as I dreaded getting out of bed in the morning knowing I had to spend a day in that place. I have so much admiration for people who work in shops full time as its not as easy as at looks, and I think it takes a certain type of person to do it but its not me.
I will see if I get this horse job I've applied for and if not I will have a good hard think and hopefully I can choose something that I can re-train in that I will enjoy. I was thinking of doing some volunteer work for a while, just to test the water in another field.
I would be quite happy with a little cleaning job somewhere to bring in some money while I figure out what I want, but its so hard applying for anything as everyone wants experience! I am the sort of person who likes getting my hands dirty and getting stuck in. Something active would suit me better than standing in a shop trying to make sales. My head is a mess at the moment, I really want to work and I feel a part of me is missing.

Figbash Tue 21-May-13 20:43:06

Check out your local statley homes whether they are English Heritage, National Trust etc. or not - many of them have donkeys, horses etc. or a farm zoo - not just horses but nearer to what you want.

Is there an agricultural college nearby?

Figbash Tue 21-May-13 20:44:56

Sorry - prob stuff you've thought of already.

honeysmummy1 Tue 21-May-13 20:50:40

The agricultural college is where I have applied for the horse job. Its working alongside the students in the equine part of the college. It requires a lot of qualifications and experience, I have the experience just not all of the qualifications.
I will check that out, thanks for the ideas! Better than what I could come up with. The trouble with a lot of horse jobs is that they are mainly volunteer based. The managers know that people out there want experience with horses and will do it for free, mainly school kids and teenagers leaving school, so they take on working students and get them to do all the boring jobs like mucking out while they deal with the bigger, complicated stuff, and not having to employ anyone else. sad The recession hit the horse industry hard and a lot of managers just don't have the money to pay staff.
At one point I was offered a job for £5 an hour, and would have to travel to and from there twice a day. Not worth it sad

Figbash Tue 21-May-13 20:59:43

Yes i am guessing there is always going to be someone willing to do it for free or a pittance. But fingers crossed for this job as they have nowhere near your experience.

grin at preferring horses as customers to people .. that i can understand.

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