Help me to get a grip-going back to work in two weeks and I keep crying all the time

(13 Posts)
Susieloo Thu 04-Apr-13 12:32:55

I've had my head firmly in the sand for the last nine months but the reality of going back to work is starting to hit me really hard, I'm lucky that all five days pfb ds is going to be with both sets of parents but I'm starting to feel desperately sad at the thought of leaving him. Going part time is just not an option for me financially. I know that this is an issue for loads of other women and I'm not the first person to have a baby and have to go back to work but its breaking my heart. Will it get any easier once I go back to work? Any coping mechanisms? Once again I know this is something lots of women have to do so I hope I'm not being too precious about it I'm just feeling horribly weepy today.

Graceparkhill Thu 04-Apr-13 12:38:59

I was like this OP back in 1993. I didn't find it easy at first but once you are back at work it will get much easier I promise. Work will be a distraction and you will have "proof " that your LO is happy and well cared for.
I appreciate my 2 all the more I think because my time with them was limited.

Susieloo Thu 04-Apr-13 13:23:46

Thank you grace, its good to know it will get easier, just need to snap out of it and get my head around it I think.

tunnocksteacake Thu 04-Apr-13 13:26:29

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Susieloo Thu 04-Apr-13 13:44:40

Thank you tunnock, I think I'm spending too much time thinking about how awful its going to be and that's not helping at all!! Need to try and change how I'm thinking about it. Thank you for the hug smile

Lizzy1975 Fri 05-Apr-13 13:46:56

Hi OP, I went back to work this week after 11 months. The anticipation was definitely far worse than the reality. Of course I've missed my son dreadfully, but I have been too distracted to spend much time dwelling on it. Good luck x

Susieloo Fri 05-Apr-13 16:12:53

Thanks lizzie, I really appreciate your reply.

Beachcombergirl Thu 18-Apr-13 14:17:34

I too am going back to work soon. My dd is 12 months and I am dreading leaving her. I would love to be a sahm. She will be going to nursery as we have no family nearby. I am really upset. I haven't spent longer than 2 hours away from her yet and no one but my dh and I have changed her nappy. I just hate the thought of things like this being someone else's job. Society is so geared up towards both parents working these days. While I am all for women having the choice, I wish there was more support around for bringing up your own kids too.

Thurlow Thu 18-Apr-13 14:26:29

The thought was far worse than the reality.

It is hard at first - both through missing your baby, and also through trying to work out how to manage everything that needs doing around the house. Someone on MN told me to expect the first few months to be terrible, and that helped, mainly because while they were hard, they're weren't terrible, and so that was a surprise.

But it does get better, it really does. The first few weeks I thought about DD a lot, and then I used to get worried when I didn't think about her, as if that meant I didn't care as much, which is bull, obviously. But the thing is, work isn't a place you associate with your DC so it's not like being in the house and they aren't there - work is a baby-free place, so you aren't reminded of them as much. And then you start to see how much they enjoy spending time with their dad, grandparents, childminder, or at the nursery, and that's a nice thought to cling to.

Be kind to yourself, though, as it is a big change. There's been some great threads about how to be organised and keep on top of life when you're back at work, they're well worth reading. Though the key things are a) batch cooking, and b) getting everything ready the night before grin

superbabysmummy Sun 28-Apr-13 19:54:38

I so know how you feel! Me too! I go back in 4 weeks & desperately trying not to waste my last few weeks at home being miserable but really struggling with it & DD must be picking up on it. Am being horrible to DH too. I just know her first months are precious & I don't want to miss a thing. Poor kid will have had me for 7 months then her whole world will be tipped upside down when I hand her over to a childminder.. She's off tomorrow for a 1/2 day, breaking her in gently over next few weeks, it is actually breaking my heart. Feel such a bad mother, it should be me doing the caring for her... hmm

wombview Mon 29-Apr-13 13:52:35

Message deleted by Mumsnet for breaking our Talk Guidelines. Replies may also be deleted.

Doiodledandy Sun 12-May-13 23:07:14

It is hard going back to work and handing your child over to another person. But there are benefits for them. In the long term my girls are bright, sociable people and I do believe that this is due to being around other children outside of the family. They are both excelling at school and are confident. With the life opportunities which me and my husband provide, the stability of having routine and another person in their lives to love them they are truly lovely children. The one piece of advice I would give is make sure the childminder is the right one. Initially I chose one that I didn't feel comfortable with after a few weeks. My deciding moment was when I asked myself if I would recommend her to anyone else.....and the answer was no. My baby was out of there the same week. be prepared for your baby to call someone else mammy...only for a short time but it hurts like hell. good luck xx

lovefreelance Mon 13-May-13 06:06:05

I hope your return to work went well and you're now feeling better smile

I had to go back to work after my first when they were just four months (we needed my income) and it was tough. But once I was back at work I just got on with it and was usually so busy I didn't have time to think about missing my baby. Of course you do get those occasional pangs - every time I used to see a mum and baby/toddler when I was commuting I had to resist the urge to stare and soak up their 'babyness'!

The good news for working mums is that recent research from the US shows that returning to work has no ill effect on your baby at all. (If you want to see a link to the article, just ask and I will find it)!

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