How do you think you've changed at work since having children?

[ITryToBeZenBut]

Hi all

I've been back at work for 9 months since having DS and was just thinking about this after someone commented that I was a changed woman after I flashed up my picture of DS that I've saved as my desktop instead of the corporate logo (you know the type - cute toddler smiling for mummy - beats the corporate screensaver twaddle any day) recently when setting up a presentation. It made me muse how else I've changed at work since DS and wondered about others experiences.

I am certainly more productive and focused - extra time having to work is less time at home. And I see work as providing opportunity for DS through the money I earn and even though my DH is out of work and I am the sole earner, ironically I feel less stressed than I used to because DS helps me see the bigger picture. I know I need my job but I care less about it too.

I was so worried going back that I wouldn't have the energy to do a decent job but generally feel like I am more capable even though I need more caffeine to motor me up and seem to have lost a large part of vocab whilst pregnant which hasn't reappeared yet.

I also feel more empathy for colleaues. Cheesy as it sounds, I can see they were all somebody's son or daughter once. This is quite an unexpected feeling.

How have you changed?

[NearlyPastTheYardarm]

I care a little less. Or perhaps, I care for more things outside of work, so it is all relative. But it gives me perspective and focus. And I appreciate just being out of the house, getting to be a grown up. Not to be sneezed at with two toddler boys at home.

[Mandy21]

Depends - mostly I feel pulled in all different directions. Always tired. Often stressed at the beginning of the day sorting out what needs to be done workwise with out-of-work admin that needs to be done that day too (reporting to after school club that DD isn't going as she's got a playdate or whatever). Thereafter resentful as less experienced / less able colleagues have been promoted / get better work than I do because I'm part time. Guilty that I feel like that as I know I should feel lucky that I have a good job and a beautiful family and it was all my choice. Focused for majority of day then stressed again worrying that I'm not going to get away on time and will be late to collect from nursery. Stressed at tea time / bed time that I'm not doing enough reading / homework etc with children compared to non-working parents. Arggh!

[elportodelgato]

Weirdly I am way more efficient at work now I have kids, work hard - damn hard - while I'm there and really enjoy it, but when I'm at home I am fully at home and with the kids. DH and I split work and childcare 50/50 so it helps having him to chat to about it as he fully understands

[Blessyou]

I work with vulnerable families and those with SN. Then I had a child with SN. I have a great deal more empathy than before - I would say that before I always cared, had good intentions and did a good job - but now there is a connection and insight that wasn't there before.

I care less about the little things. I care more about the important things.

[Taffeta]

What nearly said. I have work in perspective now. I don't do presenteeism, don't have time.

[TheCrackFox]

Much more focussed and efficient.

No time or inclination for office politics.

Don't care that my job is essentially meaningless in the grand scheme of things so long as I get paid at the end of the month I am happy.