Anybody out there who doesn't get home in time for DC bedtime?

(14 Posts)
Festivechocaholic Sat 12-Jan-13 22:19:10

I am all ready to start a new job but having a past minute wobble, 2 days a week i wont get home until 9pm and DS goes to bed at 7... Just looking for reassurance from anyone else out there in the same situation, he will be with a childminder during the day and his dad will give him dinner and put him to bed

amazingmumof6 Sun 13-Jan-13 03:38:44

how old is he?

depending on his age, his reaction can vary greatly, If he's old enough I'm sure you've explained about the changes.

also has he gone to bed before without you? how did he react? if he wasn't phased chances are he won't even notice you are away!

please don't feel bad/guilty, even he throws a fit or might be naughty or "punishes you" all of these things are fairly normal, he'll get used to it.

you can do a lot of things to make things nicer for him, I'm sure people can give you tips, easier if we know his age!

Festivechocaholic Sun 13-Jan-13 04:28:08

He is only 2! He happily stays at grandparents house but i always do the bedtime routine when he's at home- actually i should probably start stepping back a bit and let DH put him to bed before i start so that its not that unusual for him

amazingmumof6 Sun 13-Jan-13 04:47:59

yes, let Dh casually take over - try the same nights you'll be away, and if he's looking for you just say it's Daddy's turn tonight.

it will work out! good luck!

MammaTJ Sun 13-Jan-13 04:57:39

I go out to work just before my DCs bedtime. I work all night. My DP does the bedtime and getting up routines all the time and that works for us.

Festivechocaholic Sun 13-Jan-13 05:15:20

Thank you for your replies smile at the moment i work nights too and leave when he is in bed and home just after he wakes up so he doesn't know i am gone, new job is day shifts looking forward to not being so tired all the time but feel sad that he might think I've abandoned him (ridiculous i know i know!). Mammatj glad to hear that your children do not mind you not being there at bedtime, i suppose kids just get used to the way things are don't they?

HappyAsASandboy Sun 13-Jan-13 05:24:39

I am similar to your plans. I miss bedtime twice a week, but am there the other five nights.

From what I hear, my 2 year old DTs go to bed much more easily for DH or DM hmm They're fine with it, and we still see each other overnight because they still wake 2 or 3 times each grin

Doretaball Sun 13-Jan-13 05:34:34

I did this too ( now on mat leave again) and I think it was worse for me than it was for my DD. I was always desperate to see her but she had always gone down beautifully! I also think it gives them quality time with their dad which is always a good thing.

Good luck with the return to work.

OneSliceOfSwissCheese Sun 13-Jan-13 19:25:40

I miss bedtime 3 times a week. It's not ideal but as a few other posters have said, I think it's worse for me that DD (1 year old). She still has her usual bedtime routine with daddy rather than mummy.

FamiliesShareGerms Sun 13-Jan-13 19:29:35

I miss bed time once, maybe twice a week. Usually fine, every now and again DD becomes a daddy's girl because he put her to bed rather than me!

FamiliesShareGerms Sun 13-Jan-13 19:31:20

Sorry, posted too soon. Something that really helps both them (and me) is to tell them that i will come and give them a big kiss in bed when i get in. Even if they are fast asleep and don't know whether I have or not, it seems to be comforting for them

N0tinmylife Sun 13-Jan-13 19:41:03

I have worked shifts since DS was 6 months old, when I am doing a late I don't see him in the evening at all. He has never seemed to mind. One thing I have always done, which DS loves, is to ring him at bed time to say goodnight, and so he can tell me about his day. DH also works shifts, and does the same on days he is not there at bed time. I don't know if that would be possible for you? It certainly makes me feel better.

1978andallthat Sun 13-Jan-13 19:56:49

Dd is just 2. Only in last few months has she let dh put her to bed when I am here (she always let him if I was out). Now we have new baby and he is doing it about half the time while I bf or make dinner (or he does dinner while I do bedtime) and she is fine with it, though more likely to wake on middle of night and need me to settle her of he does it.

housesalehelp Sun 13-Jan-13 22:51:40

NOtimylife - we do that ringing at bed time as well - yes I would do some dad bedtimes before you start - maybe actually go out for the first few times though - as if you are in the house might be tricky

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