Full time working mums - effect on your kids?

(30 Posts)
Moknicker Fri 21-Dec-12 01:15:32

I have two DCs 3.5 and 2 yrs. A potential job offer has 50 hour weeks and DH also works long hours. For me part time will not be an option if this job comes through. I either have to take it full time or not at all.

We will have a nanny for the kids.

Please let me have your thoughts on what you think the impact on your children have been - short term and long term. Has it been positive? Negative. Do you regret it or was it the right thing to do for your family? Is it worse for boys (2 year old is a boy)

Thanks

getagoldtoof Sat 16-Feb-13 18:30:03

You're asking the wrong people. Ask adults who had parents who worked ft with long hours how it has affected them.

I work full time and I believe it is negatively impacting my son.

When I was growing up my mum was out of the house all
day at work, I always felt she put work first. I took on a lot of care of my younger siblings, in the form of emotional and social support, rather than care as we had an au pair.

orangeandlemons Sat 16-Feb-13 18:39:54

Getagoldtoof, I'm with you. When I was little my mum worked full time ( no choice, she was a widow). I hated it, I just so much wanted her to collect me from school, be there in the school holidays. It wasn't as bad when I was really little, but at about 6 or 7 I wanted it very much. Also she was always tired so very bad tempered a lot, but that was probably beyond her control. My elder sister and brother often looked after me, but they weren't particularly nice to me.

Dd now 6 wants me to pick her up and take her to school every morning. I can't but I do mange 2 times per week. It'easy when they are very little, but then they get older, and start having opinions about what they want.

orangeandlemons Sat 16-Feb-13 18:42:02

I do think that on 50 hours per week, you aren't going to see your kids much, and also I am a teacher, I feel I only ever really get to know my dd during the holidays, sometimes during the week I feel like ships that pass in the night.

Wishihadabs Sat 16-Feb-13 19:01:21

I like the phrase super full time. I have worked "Normal full-time" , "super full-time" (promotion) and now do "super part time" (super fulltime job let me do it part-time) if that makes any sense. I found the normal full time possible, but super fulltime, I just never saw them. Getting back at 4:45 (normal full-time) is a different ball game to getting back at 730 -8.

I now get in at 730-8 2-3 times a week. I wouldn't want to do it every night, but I do realise I am lucky to be in this position.

princessx Mon 18-Feb-13 10:53:56

getagoltoof you are right about ask the adults. I had a boyfriend whose mum was a single mum. She worked full time as a teacher but also worked evenings as a tutor. He must have been very lonely and I'm speculating that he developed attention seeking behavioural problems. I was ver critical of her when I heard the story. She was working so much so she could send him to private school to get a good start in life. But what he needed was some time and attention. He was an only child.

However now I am a single mum with 2 kids, and I think it's very hard to get it right in that situation. I was working full time (on mat leave now) I had to take a job otherwise would be unemployed single mum which is pretty low in the food chain. But never saw DD who was at nursery 8-6pm. Going back in the summer on reduced hours, hopefully working 4 short days. I won't be making any money really as nursery for 2 Dcs will cost over £2000 a month. But it's important for me to keep a job.

Think I've gone off on a tangent but hope that story helps.

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