OMG references I am running out of ideas.

[ditavonteesed]

argh, got offered a job about 3 weeks ago subject to checks. fine, only have one work ref as been a sahm, they asked for a character ref, gave my friend who is a doc fine no questions, I phpned them to let them know freind hadnt receieved request yet as some of her post went missing, they said thats becasue she isnt a suitable ref.
So I try to establish who would be a suitable ref, they said a nurse would do as long as it was a work address, so give my nurse friend, she has phoned the today and they have said they dont want a character ref they want a work ref. My old work will only give a yes she worked here ref and they have said that is not good enough. Trying to get hold of the lady running the voluntary project I am currently traning for as they have said she will do, but I have a feeling they will change their minds about that as well.
They said a teacher at school would do as I volunteer at school sometimes but most of the teacherss I worked with have left.
They asked for a manager from my old work but both the sdepts I worked for were sent to india and closed down so no personal ref from anywhere.
I dont know what to do, I am now worried that I am going to lose out on this job because I havent been working for the past few years and my ex employers dont give personal references. I cant be the only person in this situation.
Any ideas what I can do?

[ditavonteesed]

now got a ref from the volunteer project that I am training for at the minute and thye said that was fine to me on the phone and told the vol coordinator that it probably wasnt enough. I dont really understand what they want and why they cant just tell me outright.

[ditavonteesed]

I am starting to feel really anxious that they are going to withdraw my job offer.

[WeAllHaveWings]

Can you trace any of your old work colleagues on Facebook or LinkedIn?

[ditavonteesed]

they are not allowed to do personal references (major bank)

[ditavonteesed]

it was a couple of years ago that i helped in the school. I have been trying to get the roles I am doing now all year but have not actually started any work for them yet, they have agreed to do me a ref anyway as I have been doing the course for 9 weeks and they feel they know me well enough. I think I just have to leave it now it is just dstressful after waiting 5 weeks to hear if I had the job and another 2 to find out where my placement was. I would just like it all confirmed so I can get a start date and go back to getting excited about it all.

[WeAllHaveWings]

are you 100% sure they are not allowed to do personal references? might be worth double checking as it seems very unfair to employees.

my last company does not allow personal references to be given on behalf of the company, but an individual can give one and they layout how - they must not use company headed paper, must state it is a personal not company reference, they must not refer to any factual information that they give ie. length of service, attendance, disciplinaries and a few other rules I can't remember. If they are still employed by the company they ask them to run it past HR.

[ditavonteesed]

they arent, and the nhs want a ref on cmpany paper etc and wont accept one without work links. I have to admit I havent worked for the NHS before and I am amazed by the number of hoops you have to jump through, I mean I understand that you are working with vulnerable people but all the voluntary worl I do has been with vulnerable people and I havent had anything like this before. I applied for the job in July and it will be Dec at the earliest that I start and probably more like to be Jan.