Mumsnet Talk

I am due to either return to work or give notice after my second maternity leave. I have two children under two.

We don't need my earnings to survive.

I enjoy the kids alot and get out to keep myself from going insane.

I worry that if I don't at least work part time that I won't easily get my career back. I have a professional qualification with years and years of senior experience.

So, my question is this: If you have already been here and come out the other side after being a long term SAHM - what was the journey like back into the work force?

Watching with interest.

I took redundancy after second mat leave as job on offer didnt suit (promotion so more travel and longer hours) with vague plans to do occasional contracting for old colleagues to keep my skills up (and can actually earn annual salary on just a few contracts given day rates got my stuff)
I'm a business strategy person - pretty easy to do short term consulting and keep cv ticking over I think.

Just started my first contract - old colleague approached me rather than me chasing. DD is 16 months, DS nearly 4. It's 6 weeks more or less full time WFH. Kids going longer hours to nursery/preschool while I do it. Im most nervous about the long childcare but its for a short time and they both know the Nursery well (they do 2 mornings when I'm not working) provided they can cope - so far so good - I think 2 or 3 contracts a year with big gaps between to hang out with them will work well for me keeping my skills and earning near old salary. But as we don't need my salary I have some flex to pick and choose work that suits family life too.

Have to say, 16 months of being sahm has been hard and I felt so much more refreshed once I knew I had this contract. Logistics tricky but I'm loving it and feeling better aboutyself as i have a career again - albeit very occasional and ad hoc - and hope this can work well while they're so little.

I should have added, the reason I'm trying this is because I think it would be impossible to relaunch myself after many years out, need to keep up with what's happening in my field, need to kerp my network aware of me, need to keep my own head in Business mode. Short term contracting seems good compromise.

Hi Lemniscate

That sounds like a great compromise! Same money less hours. Just Childcare to organise. How are you feeling about your childcare arrangements?

This is all so interesting as I'm probably going back to work after 5 years out (eek!) and I am having the odd wobble about it! Can I ask what you all do/would do about childcare during the school holidays? Thanks!

I worry most about DD as she's so little. DS goes to the nursery 3 mornings and preschool 2 anyway so the extra hours are not a huge step up for him. It was a big step up for DD but I settled her gradually over a couple of weeks. She's doing brilliantly 3 weeks in but I am conscious that more than 6 weeks of those hours would feel too much to me. I did think of a temp nanny and would have done if contract was any longer. I'm also lucky that nursery is flexible and not full so had space for us.

Money is interesting - I used to work 3 days a week, now doing 5. So 6 week contract is like 10 weeks of old job, and day rate is double my old salary. So I'm essentially earning in 6 weeks what I used to earn in 20!! So 2 contracts a year and I wouldn't be far off old salary! But of course I have no benefits from being employed and have to find the work myself.

Plan is if I can make this work to just work term time once DS is at school in sept and work like this until DD is also at school. Then see if this is actually now my career or if I want to go back to being employed.

I'm v lucky that we can survive on dh's salary so there is no pressure to earn beyond me wanting too and extra money always being good given uncertain economy. So if it doesnt work we can rethink. But much as I don't want the grind of 2 ft working parents and kids not seeing us, I don't have the personality to be a full time sahm and I think I would hugely resent feeling like I'd lost my chance at a career when they're older and need me less. In many ways this contract feels like a break and my batteries are recharging at the moment even though I'm
Working FT just by my brain being challenged and proving to myself that I'm still great at more than just changing nappies and building lego!

Good luck history!

There was a great thread on this a while back, called something like:

AIBU to think that women don't really think about the long term implications of being a SAHM

Of course it got controversial at times , but there were also a lot of interesting viewpoints and individual MNers' stories.

Oh yes, well remembered , that was a good thread. Here

Interesting thread. I have been a SAHM for nearly three years - due to redundancy, not what I would have chosen. Like lemniscate, I don't think I really have the personality to be a full time SAHM but things (and the job market) have conspired against me.

Anyway, last year I started job hunting in earnest and organised some childcare just so I could prepare applications/attend interviews etc. I have had offers and am currently doing freelance work, much as lemniscate describes.

But.... in three years my market value has reduced to around half of what it was. I'm being offered interesting work but not at the same level - which may be reasonable as I'm not sure I could do the hours/travel that I used to. The problem is that, in a competitive market with hundreds of applicants, why take a chance on someone with two young children who hasn't worked for years. Even freelancing, I was a little surprised at my hourly rate but didn't have much choice as I need to start somewhere. This is a serious issue as I am now barely able to cover the costs of childcare. Having said that, my DH was also made redundant recently and has found the same thing re salary so that may just reflect the current market.

Another thing to bear in mind if you are thinking of freelance is how flexible is your childcare. Few nurseries around here can offer additional days at short notice - they are all pretty well oversubscribed - so it is hard for me to take on extra days work at short notice. Having said that, the freelance route suits me at the moment as it allows me to work from home rather than commuting.

OK, my two penith worth.

I gave up my career in 2000 in HR when we moved south, and went back to work in 2008. I took interim contracts at a lower level than I had been at before, but within 2 years of contracts, I was back at the same level as I had been, and now this year am on a very lucrative contract much higher than I was before.

I think working interim has helped me climb back up, and prove myself, as well as gaining confidence within myself as well.

Although working full time is hard, it is worth it financially, and emotionally for my well being. We don't have family near by so totally self sufficient with regards to child care. HTH

Watfordmummy - the fact you have managed to get back to the same salary level is really good to hear. It is one reason why I have gone for contracts/freelance rather than jumping straight into a salaried position - I'm hoping the contracts will allow me to ramp up my salary more quickly than if I had taken a full time job.

Hi ladies

Very interesting to hear all your stories and the contract route seems like a good option. I work in Accountancy - so that is an option for me but not all career route have that option? Or do they???

Well done Watfordmummy - great to hear that it can be done. Did you worry during your SAHM time much about getting back into your work?

I am feeling all the same things you describe with regard to work - needing the stimulation (so I can think and TALK about more than children).

The economy is a worry, but it will get better at some stage in the future....

But the other monkey is the guilt monkey which is saying:
- will the childcare place look after them well? Stimulate them well?
- that time goes so quickly and you can't get it back.
- you'll regret giving your children to someone else when they are grown up and left home but your work will still be waiting for you.

SIGH!

I gave up the job I loved when DC2 was born. Didn't plan to at all, but things didn't quite go as planned - DS was a premmy, and only 19 months younger than DD, DD was a dreadfully restless baby who didn't sleep and never stood still (she was later diagnosed with ADHD), and DS was very underweight and failed to thrive, needing constant attention. I just couldn't deal with going back to work, even though it was a struggle to get by on DH's salary.

I am not proud to say this, but although I am glad I took time out for the kids, I didn't find it easy to be a SAHM and I don't think I was a great parent to my them for the first two years. I really regretted giving up my job. Things improved drastically when I found a part-time job when DS was two. I spent several years working in slightly boring jobs, which I didn't really mind, and then slowly started to work my way back into better positions, and now, 7 years later, I am in a job again that I love and that is paid well enough for me to be able to go part-time again.

I think in retrospect the ideal path would be to keep a foot in the door and return to work part-time, if possible, and then start increasing your hours as your children grow up. But it depends on how much you like being a SAHM and how much you need the money really. Loads of people I know took a few years off and managed to get back into work when the children were older, so it really is possible.

This discussion is really food for my soul! I have been agonising about whether /how much to return to wok ever since my first child was born over 5 years ago, then number 2 came 2 and a bit years ago and here I am 5 yeasr on finally (nearly) doing it. I have felt such guilt because even though my OH earns enough for us to manage (we have had to give up some of the nice things in life) I seem surrounded by mums who love being SAHM'S (which is great but don't enjoy it as much as I could and I am glad I've been with the kids so much so far but at times I find it a bit boring and lonely - I commend all those happy SAHM'S, they are made of stronger stuff than me, I just wish I felt the same).

I feel that I don't want to be away from my kids but being there 24/7 for them all day every day clearing up, changing nappies, being moaned out ans houted at (terrible 2's!) is 'doing my head in' at times and I feel I need another outlet just for a bit of the time. Up til kids I had a really successful career and then just very badly paid, very low key/non challenging ie much more junior bits and pieces over the last 5 years. I am really frightened and nervous and really lacking in confidence about going back to work part time (3 days) about whether I'll be able to handle, whether the kids wil be ok, the impact on us as a family, whether the household stuff will be even more shambolic etc... etc..!

Worth looking at www.womenlikeus.org.uk - they specialise in part time or flexi jobs. Mainly London based though for now but def interesting professional stuff - finance, hr etc.

Am Up North. Have met plenty of ladies who gave up work in all sorts of careers (or not) who find themselves (quite frankly) fucked now at getting a job. One of them is bringing up 3 kids after her husband died and is, well, frankly on the bones of her lovely arse because of this government.

Watching with interest. I am right at the start of maternity leave with twins, due back in November, but am pretty sure I do not want to return to my old position as I would never see my children (senior finance position, was rarely home from work before 9pm, has been made very clear to me that part-time will not be an option.) But am reluctant to give up work completely as I could become out of date quite quickly. May have to think about freelance options.

3 kids 3 yrs out of paid work after the third. But did study a second degree and a masters during that time and that I think is why I managed to move into contracting without much delay. Back to previous work and have doubled my day rate in 2 yrs. Is working well for us.

I'm so pleased that I am not the only one having these thoughts!!

This article may interest you :

http://www.thisislondon.co.uk/markets/article-24032249-rise-of-the-part-time-professional.do

go back to work - you will regret it otherwise and be a poor example to your children, especially any girls .

I'm sorry but the poor example bit really makes my blood boil.

What is SAHM ?

I decided to hand in my notice and become a childminder to bring in an income... totally different situation to you I admit, and I am not sure what I would have done if I had a profession which I needed to keep up to date in.

lorcana it is Stay at Home Mother. I just went back to work 30 hours a week after a year of mat leave. Barely make enough to make it worthwhile. Not sure if I will stick it out or give up and stay home a bit longer. DS2 is almost 1, DD is 9 and DS1 is 12. I worked in between all of them, longest I took off was 18 months. I won't work full time again until the youngest is 18. Frankly it's very hard work for not much reward being at work. Might do childminding and stay at home!