Wow...nursery just told us they are pretty sure DS3 is gifted! So what now?

(70 Posts)
KirstyJC Wed 26-Feb-14 19:22:35

DS3 will be 3 at the end of March. Today nursery told us that they are fairly certain that he is gifted and they are moving him into the group that are preparing for school in terms of learning and activities. (With the 4 year olds).

He can: write his name using foam letters (9 letters long) with one letter back to front (p instead of b), he can count to 20 and read numbers to 10. He knows all his colours (except grey for some reason), is able to hold a pen properly, can tell the time, and is doing a bit of phonics. He can tell past, present and future, follows the timeline in a story and converses at an advanced level. Eg hurry up X it is nearly 4 o'clock and time for tea - said to nursery staff at 3.55 before they even mentioned or started preparing for the meal. He can draw figures and drew himself next to DH who was bigger, he understands more than, less than, bigger and smaller.

In fact he is currently negotiating bedtime with DH who has said it is in 3 minutes - DS has just said 'how about 5 minutes'. (DS wongrin)

We asked him how many colours he could think of and he named 5 or 6 in a row.

Apparently we need to ensure we stimulate him otherwise he could have behaviour issues due to boredom. They have given us lots of ideas, and with a 5 and 10 year old brothers that should be fine.

But is there anything else that people can suggest that we do with him? We had noticed that he seems very advanced for his age, but with older siblings we just put it down to that. We are planning to ask the school at parents' evening next week (for both other DSes) what their phonics system is so that we can get him started, which was one of nursery's suggestions. But what else?

Artandco Wed 26-Feb-14 19:26:31

Really? I'm surprised they have said anything. My youngest is 3 in the summer and I would say he can do pretty much all of the above. He seems very average and about the same as my 4 year old was at that age.

I would just do what you do with eldest for reading etc if you want.

NoIamAngelaHernandez Wed 26-Feb-14 19:28:25

Yup, sorry to burst your bubble but our DTs could do the same at 3, except telling the time, which they can do now.

I think just do what you did with the others.

KirstyJC Wed 26-Feb-14 19:29:10

We were surprised too tbh but the supervisor has seen a lot of kids in the 16 years she has been there, and she really thinks he is very different to most kids his age. I assume she knows her stuff?

What type of activities do you do with your youngest? Any ideas welcome!

chattychattyboomba Wed 26-Feb-14 19:31:24

Well mine is 3 in April and cannot tell time, spell her name or recognise all colours (she's very good at pink!) stay in your bubble OP. He sounds very bright to me!

NoIamAngelaHernandez Wed 26-Feb-14 19:32:01

They love 'reading eggs' on the computer - have taught themselves to read using that.

They also like logic games: Camelot Junior is good for little ones as has blocks for moving around while solving the puzzles. Jigsaws, stories, playmobil, jolly phonics songs - they like most things but especially mud

Mycatistoosexy Wed 26-Feb-14 19:37:02

Hmmm he sounds pretty bright to me!

I would try to start getting him used to phonics/ reading, maybe some board games for kids that get him reading.

gualsa Wed 26-Feb-14 19:43:50

I have a son like that. He is now 9 and still way above anyone in his year group in all subjects. Unfortunately he is very immature, stubborn and has a tendency to be very selfish. My other son struggles a bit at school but he is kind, helpful and conscientious.

What do you think is more important?

If I were you I would refrain from using the word gifted as it tends to rub people up the wrong way.
Also, let him develop at his own pace. Have fun with him and teach him good morals and kind manners. It's much more important.

Bearleigh Wed 26-Feb-14 19:45:39

That assumes he wants to learn to read. My son is 14 and has always been very bright but didn't start reading until he was taught at school. He wasn't interested, although he had learned a lot of books off by heart, so it looked like he was an amazing reader.

But we talked to him all the time, in non-baby talk, and took him, and his (many) questions and interests, seriously.

He reads a lot now, voluntarily, and teaches himself all sorts of stuff, also voluntarily, thanks to www.

Artandco Wed 26-Feb-14 19:48:48

Youngest likes:
Board games - snakes and ladders/ ludo and similar
Puzzles- 48/ 60 piece
Craft - anything really, but likes those paint by numbers, and anything with scissors and glue and cutting loads of mess
Baking - most things but can pretty much make basic muffins now with guidance. Ie I will confirm how much of what and he will measure using digital scales/ mix and I just throw in oven
Likes lego, k'nex and magnetics. Makes random things
Outdoors - likes climbing trees! And most dangerous things..

We read every day, about 20 books thought the day ( little ones like Julia Donaldson etc). Myself or dh trace the words with our finger as reading. He knows most the 'common' words ie the/ cat/ what/ etc, maybe 200 ish? It's what we did with eldest who's 4 and he's reading well now.

Artandco Wed 26-Feb-14 19:50:56

Oh and both learning timetables from those really annoying singing story tapes!

VashtaNerada Wed 26-Feb-14 19:53:17

He sounds like a bright little boy, OP! I'm not sure you need to do anything special with him, just maybe give him puzzles, books etc that might normally be aimed at a slightly older child.

My eldest could do all of that except tell the time at 3 and could also write her name so we started some jolly phonics workbooks and it did give her a bit of a start at school. She is doing well in year R now but she is the youngest in the class so she's not miles ahead by any stretch.

KirstyJC Wed 26-Feb-14 20:09:13

He does want to read, he points out letters in words and asks what words say. He also likes drawing and is trying to write his name.

I do understand that other things are important, thanks to pp for pointing that out, but since nursery impressed upon us the importance of making sure he is challenged enough I wanted to try and make sure we got some ideas from other people too.

I wasn't planning on telling all and sundry he is gifted as I will not turn into one of those competitive parents, but since this is a board specifically aimed at g & t I thought it would be Ok to use it here. No intention of getting anyone's back up!!

Thanks for suggestions so far, will definitely look into computer stuff mentioned upthread. Any more suggestions?

lljkk Wed 26-Feb-14 20:14:31

If you start him on phonics now, at home, then he'll definitely be bored when he starts reception.
Why not try other things, stuff school doesn't do enough of, science especially. Music or art, too.

KirstyJC Wed 26-Feb-14 20:24:44

Hmm he does like dancing and singing, good suggestion, thank you.

I don't really know much about teaching reading as neither other DS was interested before school so we just followed on from their input. DS3 really does seem keen though (possibly because of DS2 learning now) so if we are going to try and follow his lead and pick up on his interests, it does seem like reading would be good. Nursery certainly thought so. Maybe we should ask school next week and see what they would recommend then? I don't want to mess him up by doing the wrong thing!

He loves playing with water - always turning on taps and would sit in the bath all week if we let him. Maybe we can look at some sort of sciency-water stuff.

Also he has started learning to swim by copying his brothers in the big pool so we will continue with that as well.

He does play Operation (although cheats worse than I do grin) and is learning Guess Who.

LynetteScavo Wed 26-Feb-14 20:46:56

But surely you already know he needs challenging? But presumably that is already happening at home, but obviously not at nursery!

DS1 was could do all you've mentioned at that age. I thought he would find reception class dull, but socially he found it a massive challenge.

Teach your ds to read if you want to, but to be honest hell probably pick it up soon enough himself. I found science things the way to go with DS.

KirstyJC Wed 26-Feb-14 20:47:01

Wow that Camelot Junior looks quite hard!blush

KirstyJC Wed 26-Feb-14 20:54:41

I think he is actually being challenged at nursery, but they lots of different things with him along with other kids ages 2-4 in groups as well as individually. They definitely do more messy play / water play stuff at nursery than we do at home.

The fact that they do such a range of things is how they have noticed him being more advanced than they would expect, as he has being doing things the older kids are doing.

At home we do things such as cooking, playing with toys (Fireman sam mainly) cars, hide and seek etc. He does a lot of 'helping' with housework too which he really loves. And gardening/climbing on things he isn't meant to. He is a social animal too actually, way less shy than either brother was.

Twighlightsparkle Wed 26-Feb-14 20:57:58

My daughter was like that , probably shortly after 2 , she's now 10 and in all the top levels and school and most importantly enjoys herself and feels challenged at that level, she isn't " gifted" just lucky to find learning easy.

I think others caught up with her by about 7 ish.

Twighlightsparkle Wed 26-Feb-14 20:59:08

Seco d the idea of doing science, arty , crafty stuff rather than reading and writing.

curiousgeorgie Wed 26-Feb-14 21:04:29

My 3 year old is like this, and not sure it's that out if the ordinary.. She can write her name on paper, recognises all numbers up to about 30 and can count to 39.

I don't think she's necessarily gifted though, just pretty normal?

DoItTooJulia Wed 26-Feb-14 21:05:17

Just have loads of fun! If he is gifted, not a lot will get past him and he will excel naturally.

All of the activities mentioned sound great, I'm not dismissing them, but I'm saying have fun, because honestly, that's what being a kid is all about, isn't it?

Sounds like you are doing a great job!

HanSolo Wed 26-Feb-14 21:16:17

I would be encouraged by the fact that nursery are moving him up to those with similar development- he will be stimulated and encouraged, which is good (and you obviously chose the right nursery for him!) smile

My DD was like this, and she has stayed ahead of the curve (now Y3). Just make sure his physical development isn't left behind his intellectual development- but with 2 older siblings, I seriously doubt that will happen!

Keep doing what you're doing (and be glad you've got resources/toys ready to hand down to him from the older 2). smile

KirstyJC Wed 26-Feb-14 21:21:57

Yes, the age suggestions on toys got forgotten long ago! He plays rough and tumble with the 10 year old and wins, he nicks all their toys/books when they're not looking and the other day I caught him trying to be player 2 when DS1 was playing Minecraft!shock. Although DS2 (5) plays Minecraft too and is very good - he taught me how to play!

DS3 is the cheekiest little so-and-so as well and makes us all laugh. He was a very emotionally-needy baby though, the first 18 months or so were really hard work!

The nursery is fantastic, small place with really strong focus on individual child-led play and learning and has the same 2 main staff that were there when DS1 was there nearly 10 years ago.

mercibucket Wed 26-Feb-14 21:27:30

i would ignore teaching him anything and concentrate on physical and emotional skills at that age, so games, sports and ball catching.

HanSolo Wed 26-Feb-14 21:30:41

Aw- he sounds great!

I want a toddler! <stamps foot> I love that age (tantrums and all!) smile

Youngest is 5 now, and he's acting so mature hmm

KirstyJC Wed 26-Feb-14 21:38:21

Oh he does tantrums all right - he gets really stroppy and then sits on the step with his head in his hands and sighs theatrically! It's hilariousgrin.

Meita Thu 27-Feb-14 16:53:49

Hi Kirsty, my DS was similar at that age (apart from reading the time, but with some other things thrown in), and is now 3 1/2 so about 7 months older.
I think he is advanced for his age but not extremely so, still within the range of 'normal'. There are definitely some much more advanced kids around here on MN ;) (As people are always quick to point out) but I don't think that the fact that there are some extremely clever kids out there changes anything about the fact that my (and by the sounds of it, yours too) DS is more advanced, academically, than most kids of their age.

Looking back, I think it's amazing the amount of things he has learned in the past half year. Just for you to have something to look forward to smile
- Whereas he knew the letters, their names and sounds in two languages, at age 3, and could write his name and 2 or 3 other words; 4 months later he was reading first books.
- from being able to count to 20 in one language (30 in the other), and recognising numbers 1-10, he went to counting and recognising 1-100, using number lines and other strategies for simple additions and subtractions, learning some number bonds, instantly recognising amounts up to 6 (without counting), knowing and being able to describe 2d and 3d shapes, etc.
- He has also learned in that timeframe to use a toilet by himself, has become much more confident at friendships, and has learned to balance bike. He has grappled with the concept of death and dying, has learnt more about dinosaurs than I ever knew, and has learned to put on his own socks. He has discovered the joys of toilet humour and of making things for other people.

Given that nursery school have given you suggestions for what you can do with him (I'm assuming mainly literacy and numeracy focused), I'd say look at those and try to identify the 'gaps'. For instance is there anything that nurtures creativity? Fine motor skills? Gross motor skills? Exploring the real world? Problem solving? Imagination? Social interactions?

FWIW I really enjoy watching my DS learn. I'll be sorry when he starts school (in just 6 months… eek!) and I won't be able to observe his learning so closely anymore. So I'd say to you, enjoy the time you have with him now, and follow his interests; so if he wants to learn to read, I wouldn't hesitate. Would you rather he found YR boring, or that he found the time with you boring because you wouldn't help him learn what he wanted to? And anyway, the time actually spent 'learning' in YR is minimal. And it is 18 months away for your DS - the way he is now, do you really think he won't at least be starting to read before that, whatever you do now?

Floggingmolly Thu 27-Feb-14 17:06:19

Three? He sounds like a normal three year old to me. All mine could do those things with ease, they're all very able but definitely not gifted.
Nurseries generally don't bandy words like gifted about...

KirstyJC Thu 27-Feb-14 18:56:35

Meita, your DS sounds lovely! 2 languages - now that's impressive!

DS can put on his socks too, and uses the toilet (for some reason none of my 3 boys ever used the potty?). Although he did try and do a stand-up poo......grin

I will also concentrate on gross motor skills - he doesn't have a balance bike but he and the older kids have scooters which is still hasn't quite got the hang of yet,so we can definitely try that some more this spring. (If it ever stops raining of course!)

Flogging - actually he isn't quite three yet, but thanks for the thought. It warms my heart that Mumsnet readers try and belittle others' enthusiasm at every step. Didn't work - but nice try. Give yourself a pat on the back my dear. smile

And I expect you are right and that nurseries don't bandy words like gifted about. So possibly - I mean maybe just possibly - very experienced childcare professionals who have known my son for over 18 months, and many hundreds of other children over the years to compare him to, might actually know better than a random person on the internet and be using the word for a reason. Just a thought.

LynetteScavo Thu 27-Feb-14 20:15:57

I've just checked at what age DS1 could do the things your DS can do, OP....I really don't want to piss on your parade, but DS could do everything your DS can do, except tell the time (he was 4.5 before he cold tell the time properly) by his second birthday.

Ds is expected to get A's in his GCSE's doing no work what so ever, but he certainly isn't the most able in his year. I doubt he'll be going to Oxford or Cambridge, and no one has ever suggested he his G&T. (Although the words "very bright" and very academic" were often used by his teachers when he was younger)

As Floggingmolly said, really.

Bearleigh Thu 27-Feb-14 20:44:04

OP I would take note of what the nursery say, not what a few random people on www who have never met your child, say...

LynetteScavo Thu 27-Feb-14 20:46:38

not what a few random people on www who have never met your child, say

Absolutely, I agree!!!!!

grin

KirstyJC Thu 27-Feb-14 21:08:22

I think perhaps the thread has gone off on a bit of a tangent - I wasn't asking if you think he IS gifted, I was asking if anyone had any ideas or suggestions of activities that we could do with him to promote his development and stimulate him.

There have been some really helpful suggestions, so thank you. We will see how he gets on and hopefully keep him as entertained as he keeps us!

Bloodywornoutnow Thu 27-Feb-14 21:09:56

I started a thread like this a few years back and got all the " nah not gifted " " my dc did that whilst still in the womb " , fast forward and actually my dc was/is officially tested gifted >>> blows a big raspberry at all the doubters<<<

KirstyJC Thu 27-Feb-14 21:13:06

Aah but I bet THEIR kids are MORE gifted and talented than yours.....wink

Sharaluck Thu 27-Feb-14 21:18:18

Stimulate and follow his lead and interests by all means.

But please don't start planning too far into the future re schooling/ stretching him further etc. Children develop at different rates and a child deemed gifted in early years can become more 'average' at a later stage, just as a slower learner in early years can achieve exceedingly well at an older age.

So pay attention and keep your expectations realistic.

LynetteScavo Thu 27-Feb-14 21:19:03

I started a thread like this a few years back and got all the " nah not gifted " " my dc did that whilst still in the womb "

^All6 MNetters pre-school DC are incredibly advanced. Fact.

Some turn out to be officially G&T, some don't. <<shrugs..

OP, as I said earlier, for us the science thing was the way to go...I think to a certain extent you have to let your DS lead the way. If he wants to master bike riding, then encourage it, etc.

One of the most successful people I know left school with 3 GCSE's at grade C or above. He says he had a brilliant childhood, because whenever he showed an interest in something his dad picked it up and they both ran with it. His dad continued to encourage him in adult hood, and rather than saying "oh, you really think you could do that?" helped him in every way he could.

Just saying. It sounds like your DS is a good all rounder, but if he does show a particular interest in car engines, run with it. smile

Sharaluck Thu 27-Feb-14 21:23:47

I wouldn't bother too much with teaching phonics etc, he will most likely pick this up easily anyway.

Problem solving, challenges and puzzles are good.

simpson Thu 27-Feb-14 21:26:33

He does sound bright tbh. Quite a few people saying "my DC could do all this except tell the time"

This to me is the impressive bit (is it a digital clock?) really.

My DD (now 6) is very bright and she taught herself the basics of reading ie blending etc (before she started nursery) so I taught her the rest. But she was very driven in wanting to learn.

What are his passions?

I would try and incorporate what he is into ie jigsaws (as others have said - although my DD hated them) and counting as you go up the stairs etc and read, read, read to him too.

DD loved playing with water/sand and talking about what was the heaviest (out of several objects filled with water/sand) or the biggest/longest etc.

ilikemysleep Thu 27-Feb-14 21:32:11

My v clever DS3 taught himself to read at just over 3 (I had a newborn and he was rather left to his own devices!) on 'starfall' which is a great website. All my 4 DCs have learned their letter sounds from it. I wouldn't be at all surprised if your DS could do the same.

The only thing is, when he went to school nursery already reading (they tested him and he had a reading age of 7y4m at 3y11m) it did isolate him a bit; he got frustrated with some of the others who (obviously) were not yet reading, and got a reputation as a bit of a bossy know-all until year 1 or so when some of the other kids began to catch him up. Now he is on the top table and clearly very good at maths but he has much better social relationships with the others now there isn't such a gulf between them smile

mercibucket Thu 27-Feb-14 21:41:06

he probably is bright. although i am bright and still can't tell the time grin . but its more a case of, develop the physical and social at that age, imo, no need to do anything special. i like the idea of following his interests as well though.
all my kids are bright (well i am a mumsnetter) but only the eldest was remarked upon at nursery. i actually think it was his character they noticed. he is quite mature and 'adult'. actually, he got the same sats scores as his siblings do now so it was not giftedness the nursery noticed imo but his 'mature' (for a 3 year old smile ) personality.

Mycatistoosexy Thu 27-Feb-14 22:05:10

I hope people realise that because one person says "I've been told my 3yr old is really bright" doesn't mean that your child will become less bright. There isn't one pot of clever for all kids. Nor has the OP challenged you to a duel and your only weapon is snidey exaggerated comments

OutwiththeOutCrowd Thu 27-Feb-14 22:13:09

Of all the skills mentioned, being able to tell the time at such a young age is by far the most significant. For such a mind, I would suggest fun mathematical games - 2d and 3d puzzles and number-based activities!

I think that when the idea of G&T came into education it was defined as the top 5%. Your DS may well be in the top 5%. Most people think of gifted as being something much rarer than 1 in 20, which is probably why you are being told that he is within the "normal" range by other posters.

My DD is fairly capable, though isn't motivated to learn to read yet. She moved herself up a room at nursery earlier this year to be in the preschool room (luckily our nursery was flexible enough to let her do this). Her keyworker has said that they have good links with the primary school she will go to and, if they start to run out of ideas next year to keep her motivated and developing, they can ring the reception teachers and discuss what her next steps might be.

mercibucket Fri 28-Feb-14 06:36:23

i think mnetters are often clever and well educated, so often in the top 5 percent themselves, and so are their kids, so they dont get over excited by the idea of 'giftedness'. i would personally expect the nursery to mean top 5 percent, rather than 'genius' level. i just think too much emphasis on academic learning at nursery is a bit sad

KirstyJC Fri 28-Feb-14 07:46:56

'There isn't' t one pot of clever for all kids' - LOVE that comment! grin

Nursery are very good at range of activities and do focus very much on what the child wants to learn. He really is showing interest in reading and trying to write too so that's why they've mentioned This. His conversation is excellent too which we've noticed for a while but put down to having older brothers, but in fact they think it is more than that. My sister says the same and as a SALT and qualified primary school teacher I suppose she knows what she's on about.

I will check out Starfall as well, thanks.

Greythorne Fri 28-Feb-14 10:40:26

I agree that there's little point trying to teach him early what he will be taught in school in due course. It really isn't a competition to get him doing things (reading, maths etc.) early.

Why not try him with another language if you speak one? Puzzles, riddles, jigsaws, word games, word association etc etc. stimulating stuff that complements not duplicates nursery / school.

Booboostoo Fri 28-Feb-14 11:37:19

The problem you will face is that if he is truly bored academically you will be (rightly) tempted to help him progress beyond his peers, however at the same time his academic development won't be matched by emotional and psychological maturity which will cause problems. As far as I know the general rule of thumb is that children can adjust to skiping two grades (not consecutively) and still be emotionally/psychologically on a par with their classmates (so that they can form friendships, not feel left out when others mature sexualy, etc.) but no more than that.

I suppose what I mean to say is that if you have an academically talented child you need to walk a very tight rope between encouraging them and helping them academically but not pushing them too much out of their emotional developmental zone. Kids that end up at university at 15-16 do not have a good time of it!

MrsBucketxx Fri 28-Feb-14 11:45:56

My dd will be 3 in august and is the same, I asked ds's nursery for help and just keep doing what im doing.

I love telling both of my dc everything about everything how stuff works, why we do stuff and they love that.

Im worried about when they get to school and sail past me as im not really that academic sad

Chasdingle Fri 28-Feb-14 16:26:01

My DS is 3.9 and was at about the same level last year although he couldn't write/ draw (and still can't), he could count to about 300 or 400 also. When you say he can tell the time do you mean all times. My DS can tell the o'clocks, quarter past and to and half past but he couldn't tell you 25 past 2 for example (unless it was on a digital clock).

One thing i would say is that DS was really far ahead on stuff last year but his progress has probably slowed down somewhat this year. Also my DS was really far ahead of some things but perhaps behind on others, he didn't potty train till he was over 3 and it took him ages to get the hang of ride on toys. He is also very impractical in everyday things like getting shoes, clothes on etc.

The thing about stimulation is an interesting one to me. I had to change DS's nursery last year as his old playschool thought he might be autistic. HV thought he was not being stimulated enough and that was reason for his behaviour so we changed nurseries and he's getting on really well at this one.

chattychattyboomba Fri 28-Feb-14 23:59:27

Hey Kirsty, I just thought of something, if you haven't already, check out the website 'the imagination tree'. Lots of fun creative ways to teach new skills to toddlers and preschoolers you might get some inspiration there to keep you little boy from getting bored

legoplayingmumsunite Sat 01-Mar-14 00:31:58

I'd be concerned about a nursery that was warning you about a 2 year old being bored because of being gifted. Just like schools they should be able to offer a child extension work to stretch their capabilities. I would have thought the brightest 3 year old could still learn something from most NT adults.

As PPs said I'd concentrate on some physical skills like swimming or mastering the scooter (PMM: DD2 could scooter at 20 months). With older siblings you must be going on days out that include some educational element that would be stretching for a young child. That's a wordy way of saying take him to the park and watch for signs of spring, or discuss the weather, or look at the birds. Do lots of drawing, reading stories (does he like chapter books yet?), puzzles and games with his older siblings. You'll have kid's reference books? Follow his lead and take things as far as he wants to. Don't make learning a chore, keep it fun and interesting and use all his senses to learn, don't just concentrate on reading unless that is something he is showing great enthusiasm for (in which case he probably won't need your help).

KirstyJC Sat 01-Mar-14 10:45:48

The imagination tree website looks awesome - thanks for the suggestion!

chattychattyboomba Sat 01-Mar-14 14:34:00

smile Glad to helps

givemeaclue Sat 01-Mar-14 14:43:18

Wow telling the time at two years old that is amazing!

Agree with other not to teach him things he will already learn in school in time, would extend him in other ways instead:

Learning musical instrument and how to read music
Chess
Tennis or golf are good to learn from young
Swimming
Foreign language
Games and puzzles

Good luck

LauraBridges Mon 03-Mar-14 12:14:48

Good ideas above. I am not sure any of our 5 were gifted but all passed exams for selective academic primary schools in the private sector at age 4 or 5. Only one of those 5 was ahead in terms of reading compared to the others. She was reading at 3 although I suspect that was more like 3 and a half and that was probably because she liked to sit and think and concentrate whilst the older who is no less bright rang around all the time. They couldn't find a book in the reading scheme she couldn't read when she was nearly 5 at her entrance test. However over the last 10 years I don't think the fact she was an early reader has made too much difference if I compare her to her older sister who was a late reader.

Talk to him. Read to him every night.
Think about the best primary eg could you take on a second job and so afford school fees for the most academically selective private primary in your area?

KirstyJC Mon 03-Mar-14 12:33:14

No way we can do private sadly. But the primary the others go to is outstanding, both in terms of Ofsted and in terms of the parent/teacher realtionship. Small place, where the Head greets you by name if she walks past etc. They were really good at quickly sorting out minor bullying issue with DS1 as well and the teachers are excellent.

Secondary - we are in catchment for the best comprehensive in the area, good for science/maths. So I think we need to accept that whether he is ahead or not, these are the schools he will be going to.

We do read to him and DS2 (5) every night still. He loves books! He also went swimming again at the weekend and loves that too, and is pretty much fearless in the water.

We got him some colour by numbers things this weekend and he is really enjoying doing those, taking great care to use the right pens.

poorincashrichinlove Mon 03-Mar-14 12:56:20

DS(2.9) does all the above except tell the time (that's pretty wow!). DD was the same. She read music at 4 too. I've always been careful to not use the 'G' word. It does rub people up the wrong way and builds expectations that are unfair to a child.
It's important to recognise emotional needs in DCs as well as learning needs. They need to make connections with their peers and develop friendships. Hothousibg is therefore a no no in our family as a good balance is sought and happy, well adjusted children result (hopefully).

I have also always been careful to reward effort rather than success.Motivation is key so learning should always be fun and on DC terms. My DS currently loves matching the letters to the board on junior scrabble and we do phonics flashcards when he's in the mood.

Enjoy your child for ALL he is

ZanyMobster Tue 04-Mar-14 14:54:08

Hi, you will always get snipey comments on here for some reason. As its a G&T board you would think this is the one place you can actually ask questions. I have asked for advice in the past and had some extremely nasty comments.

I do think it's odd for a nursery to use the word gifted at such a young age as children develop at uneven rates of course, particularly until the end of Y2 however it does not mean your DS is not gifted, the only reason I say this is because I have met parents who have been told this early on (specifically one of my best friends) and have felt disappointed when they have evened out fairly quickly, my friends DD was moved up a year in infant school but ended up pretty much average the following year and has continued that way. It has been stressful for them and worrying.

My DS1 was similar at nursery, he could read by 3 also, all self taught. I don't think he could tell the time though. He is still gifted academically at 8 but of course there is still the possiblity he will plateau at some point.

I don't think there is any danger of a child of 2 or 3 getting bored at all, there is no way nursery should be suggesting this, children of that age still need to do normal 3 YO stuff. Nursery should be mainly playing and when they do letters & sounds etc it should be fairly easy to give your DS some basic phonics work as an extension, I totally agree with legoplayingmumsunite. My DS was fine in YR in spite of having a high reading age and able to write well as lots of it was playing and socialising. He was more bored in Y1/2 as he wasn't stretched academically a lot of the time.

I was told by the SENCO from Early Years to stretch DS sideways, maybe languages, music, sports or anything not academic that he can't do yet. He started martial arts plus later learnt the guitar and a bit of french. We still try to avoid lots of extra academic stuff so he does him minimum amount of homework each night but does hours and hours of sports every week.

anotherverydullusername Fri 07-Mar-14 17:23:51

About teaching reading making them bored in reception. From the sounds of him, he will teach himself to read even if you don't.
A good reception teacher will not allow him to be bored. The big benefit of him learning to read (as long as he wants to) early is he will be able to enjoy books more earlier which is a lovely thing.
Ds started reading simple words at 3 and was reading before he started reception and wasn't bored in phonics as it involved fun songs. KS1 was more boring at times as slightly less fun focused.

He sounds lovely op.

anotherverydullusername Fri 07-Mar-14 17:25:10

Oh and I think it's very unusual for a still 2 yr old to be able to tell the time! Mine certainly couldn't til he was in reception and even that is 'advanced' compared to average I think.

dippydaisy1 Fri 07-Mar-14 17:33:51

Our daughter was the same and I taught her to read straight away. She was reading to her class at three. She has never been bored at school. The teachers just gave her more advanced books as she advanced. (Maybe things are different in South Africa.)

morethanpotatoprints Fri 07-Mar-14 17:38:36

I'm not sure if anybody has suggested this yet, but have you considered H.ed

One of the advantages is that children can learn at their own pace and the subjects/topics they enjoy.

KirstyJC Fri 07-Mar-14 18:17:14

Home ed is never going to happen - we both work 30 hours+ a week!

We have got him some wooden letters and he really likes those, tries to write words and asks what sounds some of the letters make. Nursery said today he was doing numbers on his fingers and telling them things like 5 and 5 is ten, 4 and 5 is nine so they have been playing counting games and other numeracy things like bigger/smaller, more/less etc.

He is pretty accurate at telling the time, although does get confused sometimes- he told us it was "2 past 10 past 6" the other evening. Cute!smile

We asked about phonics/reading at school parents evening this week (just in general as we have DS2 in reception, didn't mention DS3 at all) and they said they use a mix of phonics eg jolly phonics, Floppy Phonics (Oxford Reading Tree) and whatever else the individual children seem to take to which sounds like a fantastic approach, so we will just keep trying whatever DS3 seems to go for and see if he can sit in on DS2 reading as well.

TheCunkOfPhilomena Sat 05-Apr-14 15:08:52

Kirsty I have a DS that is 3.2 who was moved up to be with the 4 year olds at nursery when he was 2.7 as he is extremely advanced. Please don't listen to the skeptics on here, it's why I never post on this board.

Be proud of your DS' achievements and do what you feel is best for him. If you have any doubt then talk to your HV or arrange to have a meeting with the head of the nursery, they can help guide you. I see the manager of the DS' nursery once a month now so we can discuss different things.

I shall slink off now before I'm told that DS is not gifted and how dare I presume otherwise.

SATSmadness Wed 23-Apr-14 14:59:03

Please prepare yourself for the fact that your ds3's pre-school buddies will all go off to school a year ahead of him and you may experience a period of him being unsettled at pre-school as he may feel left behind and miss them.
He'll then have to settle back into being with his original cohort who will have matured a bit over the course of the year but they're not the group he's used to spending his days with.

This happened to us with ds2 sad

Once at primary, once the kids had all settled in nicely, he started spending various parts of the day with the year above.

I have to say though that all of my dc could do the same stuff at 3, in fact more... except telling the time, it took them aaaages to get the hang of that but as a parent that benefitted me in being able to bamboozle them over bed-times etc so I didn't push it grin wink

JulieMichelleRobinson Wed 23-Apr-14 16:12:25

To the OP:

Whether or not your son is classed as "gifted" it's good that he's being given activities that stretch him a bit and encourage him to develop rather than stagnating.

As a piano teacher, can I suggest investigating Wunderkeys it if it may interest? You might find someone near you who runs Wunderkeys - it's a piano/music course for 3 and 4 year olds, which also works on numeracy and literacy skills. Because it's one-to-one, it's good preparation for school in terms of relationships with adults, concentration, sitting still, directed activities and so forth. Basically, it's vaguely educational but also lots of fun and might provide a useful distraction - usually teachers provide a free trial.

swingofthings Tue 13-May-14 14:08:34

When my DD stated her new nursery at 3 I was told by the manager that she had special abilities much above children her age. I didn't think much of it I had just become a single mum working full time with another 18 months child so knowing she was happy at school was enough for me. When she started school she was I immediately put in all top groups and always had wonderful reports bur is nor until she was in year 4 that I heard for the first time the reference of G&T. It's when she received the award for Pupil of the Year at the end of year 6 amongst 115 children some clearly very bright that I started to think that maybe she was exceptionally bright.

She stated a new secondary school in a different town and this time it was mentioned almost immediately. She is now in y9 and is expected already all A* in her gcses in two years time. I never did anything to stimulate her, she never had additional tutoring, had never really been bored because she is quite confident and will ask the teachers for extra work and I have always find her teachers very willing to challenge her to her level.
My DS is doing is year 6 SAT right now and seating level 6 papers for both English and maths so expect he too is considered G&T but again nothing much had been mentioned however the nursery had also identified his ability early as he was moved to the to group at just a bit over 2 yo rather than after 3 yo as standard. It was the best decision as he had issues with his behaviour then which totally disappeared once he had moved.

I do think many nursery managers with a lot of experience are able to point out children with high abilities who are likely to become T&G but I think it is more their behaviour that needs watching to ensure their needs are met rather than just the fact they are more advanced.

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