If you have a child who is G&T.....

(29 Posts)
Marne Tue 06-Nov-12 18:41:25

and at state school school would you consider sending them to privite school on a scholarship? just out of interset grin.

Dd1 is 8, she's doing great in her small state school but we have been told she is g&t and top of the class in all areas (other than sport). I dont think we would move her as she would'nt want to move. Just wondered if anyone else has moved their child or been offered a scholarship? and if so was it for the best?

madwomanintheattic Tue 06-Nov-12 18:49:51

I would move them on a heartbeat. All three of mine would benefit from more academic challenge, but with three of them, there's no way we can afford it.

<that said, mine move schools every year or two anyway, as we are fairly mobile, so 'moving' isn't a big thing. Dd1 chose to move schools last year even though we didn't move house. She's in her 8th or 9th setting, I lose count!>

Marne Tue 06-Nov-12 19:00:18

We moved both of the dd's last year, it was hard work and has taken a while for them to settle. Dd1 has Aspergers which makes big changes a lot harder, also she finds it easier to get on with boys and most the privite schools are single sex here. Realisticly we could not afford it, its just something i keep thinking of (would be great for her). Her school seems to be pushing her but maybe not enough.

AChickenCalledKorma Tue 06-Nov-12 19:03:52

Only if I genuinely felt that her current school wasn't catering for her properly. At the moment, they are doing fine and I prefer being part of the local state school, warts and all.

noisytoys Tue 06-Nov-12 19:11:54

No. My DD was offered 100% scholarship for 2 private schools (we were approached by the schools who offered the scholarship). She has the highest recorded IQ for her age in the country but she is thriving in her state school. She has a statement so she gets a 1-1 TA and she does Maths and English in the class 2 years ahead. Most importantly she is at a state school who stretch her and support her which is great

Marne Tue 06-Nov-12 19:17:15

noisy- your school sounds very supportive. Dd1 is in a mixed class (60% year 4's, 40% year 5's), she works with the year 5's but is working at a higher level (so top of the class). She is happy there (well as happy as dd1 can be), she does struggle with the social side of things and does not have any real girl friends (buts gets on with a few of the boys) so would probably realy struggle in a single sex school. I just worry that she wont reach her full potential where she is if she's not pushed (although she has not been pushed at all to get where she is now, she just loves to learn).

madwomanintheattic Tue 06-Nov-12 21:35:15

Mm, two of mine have sn as well, and it does complicate the issues. We haven't had any choice but to move them, really, so we (and they) have just had to get used to it. We do lots of prep work before moves and it has worked out. Dd2 finds leaving established schools v hard, but is reasonably ok about new schools iykwim, whereas ds1 is the opposite, so we have to tailor our prep according to the kid. I guess we've just done it so often that it doesn't seem a 'big' deal now - it's just something else to plan for and get on with...

We had to rescind dd2's statement as we were leaving the country (the sn system is different here) so if we go back, we have to start again with statementing for both kids. At least dd1 is straightforward!

I think the 'full potential' thing is the key. None of mine are reaching their full potential, and haven't ever been, really. Which is sad, and frustrating, and entirely finance based, more's the pity! But hey ho, we're all still afloat, just. Tis year is a 'low' year for two of them, as the teachers don't 'get it'. We've had great ones, and shocking ones. Dd1 had 1-1 support in the UK and thrived - the TA could obviously differentiate appropriately for her needs and so it was great.

So out of, oooo, 18 years collective school experience for my three, we've had one year where needs were met in entirety for both sn and learning potential. Criminal, really. Makes home Ed an attractive option!

lljkk Wed 07-Nov-12 08:00:43

If all other factors were identical then I might move.
The problem is that all other factors are never identical.
For instance, nearest private school has bad rep in several ways.
DD in state school has been settled & thriving, extremely happy socially, why fix what ain't broke?
Now she's y6, we are looking at secondaries, all elite private options are many miles away, the travel time is a big issue with the heavy workload sure to be imposed.
Would be different if the elite secondaries were only 20 min. travel away.

noisytoys Wed 07-Nov-12 08:47:21

We are fortunate to live 5 mins from super selective grammar schools so that is where DD will go. State secondary schools round here are dire

Marne Wed 07-Nov-12 09:09:52

We have a lot of privite schools near by including one mixed (mixed until age 14 i think and then all girls up to 18), there are probably 6 or 7 in a short driving distance (a good area for schools). I do think she would struggle with the work load though as she struggles with all the home work she's getting now (which makes me think 'maybe they are pushing her'), she can do the homework but when she gets home she would rather do other things. The school she is in is ok, its small so small class sizes and its very friendly, i worry about high school though as theres a choice of 2 state schools, one is huge which i dont think she would cope with and the other is very small with good expereance of Aspergers and ASD but not as good exam resaults. We will look at both but she will probably go to the smaller school.

Iamnotminterested Wed 07-Nov-12 10:09:47

Nope.

GooseyLoosey Wed 07-Nov-12 11:04:22

Depending on whether my child was happy where they were, I would consider the move.

Ds is 9 and was working ahead of his peers at primary. This was OK, but he struggled a lot with the social side. We have been told that this is typical of children with his IQ - they have little understanding of the motivations of their peers. It would not surprise me if he has aspergers. Ds became very unhappy.

At Easter I moved him to the most selective indy near us. He now has to work to be at the top (which he enjoys). It is hopefully giving him a work ethic which he sadly lacked before.

Moreover and most importantly, for the first time in his entire life, he says that he knows what it is to have true friends. There are people there on the same wave length as him who do not think that he is odd. He is happy and so far, I do not regret the move. Had he been happy where he was, I would have had to think more carefully.

madwomanintheattic Wed 07-Nov-12 14:34:01

Oh, I'm not sure if she is finding the academics/ homework difficult to cope with, tbh. Mine hardly do homework as the stuff s so easy they finish it all at school, which is why they really need that additional academic challenge to instil some sort of work ethic... They are cruising. (Ds to the extent that if he actually has a task to do at home it is sooooo out of the ordinary that he forgets it completely.)

State here is really a walk in the park - no thinking involved at all.

GooseyLoosey Wed 07-Nov-12 14:50:35

Ds "struggled" with his primary homework too. Not the concepts, or the work, but the sheer boredom of it. He basically could not be bothered and it was a major struggle to get him to do it. Now he has more homework but it actually takes less time because ds is engaged and interested in it and does not require major nagging to actually do it.

Marne Wed 07-Nov-12 21:05:42

I think she does find it boring, quite often its a very easy task (the other week she had to find 10 works in her book that she didnt understand, of course that was tricky as her understanding is great), she gets at least 2 pieces of homework a night (sometimes she will get a night off).

BackforGood Wed 07-Nov-12 21:10:54

If I had enough money to fund all 3 of my dcs through private school, then I'd have a look at what was avaialbe locally. I'm not one who thinks all private schools are automatically better than all state schools, but I'd certainly have a look round and try to make the right choices for each individual child (including things like travel in the equation)

anitasmall Sat 17-Nov-12 17:15:15

I just know about one child that did entrance test and got scholarship based on his Maths and English results (100%, 100%). But even if he was so advanced the school wasn't happy to offer him scholarship. So IF you were "approached" by private schools than your child is really exceptional.

mercibucket Sat 17-Nov-12 17:34:39

None of our local private schools offer scholarships - it's means tested bursary only

mercibucket Sat 17-Nov-12 17:34:39

None of our local private schools offer scholarships - it's means tested bursary only

MrsjREwing Sat 17-Nov-12 17:42:02

No, they are more than their academic ability, and I don't agree with having a child stick out working wirh older kids. I find kids that complain of boredom says more about the child than the school.

pointythings Sat 17-Nov-12 22:09:17

Even if private were an option for us financially - which it is not - no, I would not move my DDs. Their state schools cater for them beautifully. They have both been identified as gifted and are both working 2-3 years ahead of their age. They aren't geniuses who need to be doing GCSEs at 10, A-levels at 12, University at 14 etc. so I am happy for them to stay where they are. They are getting very good teaching and differentiated work, they are happy and have a good circle of friends.

And I agree with the not working with older children comment - DD2 is in Yr5, she is getting the same work as the gifted Yr6 children but within her own peer group. There are 2 other children on the same level as she is, they have teaching tailored to them and expectations are high.

DD1 is in a school with a very active programme for very able children, she will be doing some work in mixed age groups but will not for instance be put in with the Yr 9s for English - that would not work at all. Instead the group identified as gifted work as a collective in specialist sessions and will go on workshops and so on outside the regular school schedule, whilst still keeping up with work in their other subjects.

DD1 has just settled in secondary, made loads of new friends, been picked for the netball team, is doing drama after school, is doing handball and table tennis as well - she has such richness in her life now that there is no incentive to change.

SpringierSpaniel Fri 23-Nov-12 17:05:43

Not unless I felt the state school weren't providing sufficient extension work etc. We can supplement at home anyway at primary school level. We have 2 dc and both on G &T register (although I'd class them as bright and able rather than Gifted/Talented). Wouldn't be able to afford the top up contribution to fees for 2 dc so private school not really an option. I'd be amazed if 100% fee bursaries were available but I haven't actually looked into it in much details because of the following ........

Sad story, child in one class at our lovely highly rated state school did take up an assisted place at a private school with much smugness all round about G&T etc but it wasn't 100% funded so parents had to find the rest of the fees. Subsequant messy divorce and parents financial circumstances changed dramatically leaving no money for paying their share of fees so child had to leave private school and parent was apparently too embarassed to return child to the original state school where siblings were attending so pulled them both out and put all 3 in a dramatically less lovely state school. There was no change of address so no need to move children already settled at state school.

You need to think long term and have funds available to top up/keep going with the private school if you don't want to risk this sort of possibility.

WKMum Sat 24-Nov-12 00:19:00

Hi Marne,

Clearly, your child's happiness must always be your number one priority, so you should do what you think is best for her, but my G&T DD age 10 got offered a scholarship to a top local prep school last year and I have to say she hasn't looked back since she took up the place.

I am a single parent living in a tiny terraced house and, although I do work, I am pretty drastically hard up all the time! The prep school DD attends is the kind of place where all the children live in enormous mansions and have several ponies and staff etc. and will be heading off to Eton, Brighton and Lancing, so I must confess I did have reservations (read: inferiority complex/panic!) about sending her there, since I knew we would be the poorest by miles, but I have to say DD has completely thrived there.

DD was previously at an Ofsted 'Outstanding' local primary school in a comfortable middle-class area of Kentish stock-broker belt. The children there were tutored to the hilt to pass the 11+ to attend the town's coveted grammar schools and, as a result, could generally be said to be fairly 'bright', but still it was easy to tell that, while DD was pretty happy at the school, she was hugely under-challenged and, as a result, was starting to become more, ahem, 'challenging' in her behaviour - something that I do not excuse in any child, no matter their level of giftedness, but which of course becomes very wearing - particularly as a working, commuting single parent!

As DD progressed through the local primary school, it became patently obvious to me the difference between 'bright' and 'gifted'. (And I should clarify here that I am not particularly a fan of the term 'gifted' and noted with no small level of satisfaction in Denise Yates's latest letter to NAGC members that they are going to change their name to 'Potential Plus'). Maybe it is something that comes to the fore in areas where the dreaded grammar school system still reigns supreme, but a child who is averagely bright can easily be coached to do NVR till it's coming out of their ears, but a gifted child needs so much more stimulation than that. (Aged 9, my DD asked me: 'Mummy, how it could possibly be any indicator of actual intelligence that you know which shape in a sequence of four is the odd-one-out in a multiple test exam in which the odds are 4-1 that you will get it right even if you don't know the answer?' 'Hmm...' I replied after some thought, 'Maybe you should take that one up with the 11+ examiners!')

Since moving to a top prep school, DD is not only much happier, she is also no longer the cleverest child in the school, which has done wonders for her motivation. Gone are the challenging behaviours because actually, FINALLY, she is the one being challenged: Latin, physics, algebra and French are the new frontiers! A couple of the girls at DD's new school, who are already on Grade 8 piano aged 10, are teaching her to play in the music room at break time, which is a wonder because I could never afford lessons nor even fit a piano in my house! Every day she comes back unbelievably happy and so full of excitement and pride at the next stage in her steep learning curve. And, of course, it's not just learning but all the amazing extra-curricular stuff: drama on a real stage with sets painted by students; gymnastics tournaments where the kids compete at international level; lunchtime art clubs where you can go and work on your A0 canvas! She's in heaven! I only wish I'd had the money to do it years ago!

So, there you go: my response to your question would be an overwhelming (and naturally highly subjective) yes! But the difference between excellent state and excellent public, in my opinion, is equally overwhelming. No doubt it shouldn't be the case, but there it is.

x

lisad123 Sat 24-Nov-12 00:28:08

Dd1 local indi school doesn't offer scholarship but she got in with a bursary. She started in sept and hasn't looked back!
She too have autsim and is G&T. Her old school sucked and she wasn't happy there either which made choice to move her easier.

She loves the small classes, the fact the teacher can set work at her level and homework is regular and a challenge. She has moved from a C to an A in her levels since sept!!

hardboiled Mon 26-Nov-12 12:09:13

WKMum, I am glad it worked for your daughter. My experience is that it highly depends on the school and the child. At 7+, DS was offered a scholarship from the nearest top prep but we decided to keep him in his "outstanding" primary school. He is in the G&T registry, a bright boy, I don't know his level of giftedness because I would never put him through tests or anything like that (I'm highly cynical about IQ tests). While he hasn't always been stretched as much as he could, he has been happy, has received a round holistic education and has had to work in teams with children who were less clever than him and that has been a skill that he will use the rest of his life. He feels very confident and LOVES his school. Where the school wouldn't, we've made sure we fed his curiosity for knowledge at home, with reading, etc. He has passed a superselective grammar exam and will be sitting for independent schools.

At the same time we took that decision, a boy in his school left to this prep school because his parents thought he was being under stimulated and not appreciated at the primary. For the last two years he has been spoon-fed to pass the elevenplus and been made to feel that those who fail the entrance exam will be failures. He has also been told the school expects no less from them than Oxbridge. These are 10 year olds, many of them already showing signs of stress to a worrying level. Socially, he is surrounded by boys and girls who are already behaving like grown ups - wealthy grown ups. And it turns out the academic content of his work is at exactly the same level than the work my DS is given at the top table. The parents now regret all the money wasted.

So beware. There are no general rules.

Marne Mon 26-Nov-12 12:19:04

Thank you for you posts. My family were trying to get me to put in for scholarship to the local prep, we had until the 26th nov to put her forward but we have decided against it, mainly because dd1 doesn't want too and the worry that eventualy she will be in a all girl school (its mixed until 11), at the moment all her best friends are boys so i think she would struggle with it being all girls. I would love for her to go but really it has to be her choice and would depend on getting a scholarship. Maybe we will look into it again next year.

Theres no way we could pay for her to go so it would all be down to 'scholarship' (or a rich family member leaving us a lot of money which isn't likely to happen). The school we were looking at is a very good school and we already know one child there with Aspergers. At the moment its just my dream and not dd's sad.

morethanpotatoprints Thu 29-Nov-12 22:35:16

A completely different scenario but here goes.

We moved out musically G*T dd out of state school because they could not provide the level of education she wanted.
However, neither could a private school.
Academically she is improving tremendously with 1 to 1 support but is certainly not G*T here.
Ironically, school only told us about dds G*T label the day she left, and that was just in passing.
We decided to H.ed and have found this to be right for her.

Gab1969 Sat 01-Dec-12 00:38:56

noisytoys - WOW! 1:1 - how on earth did you achieve that? She must have an astronomical IQ indeed! Or did it take a legal battle of epic proportions? Or was it about the press getting hold of it all? I think many of us could learn something from you. I know quite a few families in the UK with kids whose IQs are in the mid-high 150s, and they can't get anything for their children.

I live in Australia, so it's quite different I'm sure, but my child (IQ in the top end of the top percentile) who is 2e qualifies for squat. Likewise his friend (IQ 7 points above my child's but not 2e) gets nothing!

Wafflenose Sat 01-Dec-12 13:01:42

That does sound like great provision, noisytoys. So much in the UK seems to depend on where you live though. My friend's dd is possibly the brightest child I've ever met, and entered school early, only to be told she'd then have to repeat a year. She is Year 1 now and taught with Year 2 and 3 for some subjects, and this is woefully inadequate, but far better than my kids are getting. Maybe we should move!

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