Should I take the preschool advice - they think DS should be assessed.

[Jackaroo]

In this part of Oz, there is a very good public school system available at primary level, and DS has just started attending a brilliant preschool, where he is already being more sociable than he was at nursery. He's only been there 3 weeks.

We know he's bright, but then DH is very bright, and I have a brain in there somewhere... but I've railed against any concious moves to work on it - clubs/extra lessons etc., thinking that if he still seems bright when he gets to primary, we'll just talk to the teacher to see what they think. It's true, though, that over the last couple of years I've had many comments from other parents,doctors etc about his capabilities.

However. The director of the preschool cornered me earlier this week and said she was "blown away" by DS and his comments/answers during group activities and when she chatted to him 1-2-1. That she is difficult to impress after 20 years in hte field, but that he makes her stop in her tracks.

Here, and I mean in this affluent, middle class suburb, it is common for children to see a development psych., or similar, for an assessment, and she thinks we would all benefit from doing this. Apparently it's not just an IQ thing anymore. I was surprised as she has always seemed extremely practical and "play-centred", so this seemed slightly at odds with that.

What do you think? I left the UK when DS was 2 so know nothing about how things are handled over there, but I'm pretty keen on just letting him carry on as he is for a bit.

Any pros or cons you can think of? I suppose I'm worried that if he is that bright, we need to DO something about it, and he's only 4 (and a quarter-ish!).

He does have far too much intuition/emotional awareness (if that's a thing?) but it means he can articulate why he's unhappy which is helpful. He did seem pretty isolated at nursery, I guess because he was the eldest. He used to be friends with the 5 year olds and they all went to primary school.

sorry, that's all a bit muddled. I'm somewhat stumped.

Thanks for any advice.

[Jackaroo]

anyone?

[smee]

I wouldn't personally - so long as he's happy and you think the preschool gets him as an individual and can allow him to develop through play. Otherwise, just go with his interests at home, read to him lots and enjoy him being little. He sounds lovely.

[orienteerer]

You said it yourself, he's only 4. Relax and let him be a "baby" for as long as possible.

[woodyandbuzz]

I think you should trust the director of the preschool - she is an experienced professional and presumably you think highly of the preschool and that's why your DS is there. I always take the advice of the head of DS's nursery school because I trust her and I trust the school.

[woodyandbuzz]

and btw the advice I am taking is in relation to autism/extra help, so not the same thing, but the same principle.

[overmydeadbody]

I can't think of any cons of him meeting an ed psych. It's just a meeting, it's not going to change him or anything.

I don;t think you need to do anything special just because he is bright tohugh, just let him bea child and let him 'lead' you and 'guide' you as to what he needs. If he is really interrested in one thing, then provide him with the opportunities to learn more or investigate more or find out more if he wants to, but there is no need to push him or make him work harder just because he is bright, just allow him the opportunities to persue the things that interest him, no matter what they are.

You don;t want him to burn out too qquickly, or be pushed beyong his means, or for the pressure to suddely be put on and the fun to be taken out of learning.

[overmydeadbody]

and like with any child with special needs, focus on his weaknesses and try to help him improve those.

I can only speak form my experiences with DS

[overmydeadbody]

and if it's not just an IQ thing anymore (which you are right, it isn't) then it isn't at odds with a play centred aproach to learning anyway.

[QandA]

I think you should go for it and have the meeting. If nothing else it will be interesting to have a different perspective on what makes him tick. You can then decide what you want to do with any recommendations he/she makes.

[cory]

The only con I can think of with seeing the ed psych is if it's going to make it harder for you to be relaxed about his early years and make you start fussing about stimulating him at all times.

But then I can't really think of that many pros at this age either.

The main thing is, as overmydeadbody says, to make sure he has opportunities to learn in a fun way, but mainly to let him lead at this age.

[Jackaroo]

Wow, I was going to let this one sink into oblivion as I hadn't got an answer for a few hours and read the "other" thread after posting.

Thank you so much for your thoughtful replies - even if there isn't a consensus.

I guess, having spoken to my brother, I should've realised that I'm somewhat scarred by the childhood I had and really don't want him to burn out, but equally, don't want to ignore this as that would be doing him a disservice.

I'm also struggling with a 6 month old and PND so yes, would feel incredible pressure to be all singing all dancing... I may just leave it 6 months, and then rethink.

he's not going to primary school til January so can't imagine that it would make any difference for anyone else.

Thanks again,

J

[Jackaroo]

Then again having re-read all your comments, I might just have another think in the next few days... and talk to DH when he gets home (away at the moment). I'm sure he'll have a level headed reaction for me!

[avidskier]

Jackaroo - I had my daughter assessed when she was three because I knew she was different, and I didn't want her nursery or primary school to think I was just a pushy parent when it came to talk about her needs.

I don't think it has harmed her in any way. We are led by her at all times - she knows exactly what it is that she wants to learn about.

And her nursery and later her primary school was very supportive. Although in the state sector there is only so much that can be done for her (so we are probably having to go private fairly soon).

If I have understood it correctly you are in Oz where I believe things might be slightly better for the gifted in the state sector.

Again, I think it helps having the physical proof because - especially when they are really little - it is often easier to then ensure that your child will get what he or she needs.