So what is "stretching"?

[gracemargaret]

Here are some "stretching" targets school and I have been working on with my dd 8yrs -

encouraging her to find out about other people by asking them questions, Getting her to think of things she likes about other people (e.g classmates) or things she thinks other people are good at. Asking her to think about things she would like to improve at AND asking how she is going to do this. Finding out about other peoples games and joining in. Giving other children a chance to answer questions and not shouting out. Not rocking on her chair. Controlling her emotions when things don't go her way. Trying to use her intelligence in a useful way - eg helping to sort out arguments between the younger children, complimenting people, thinking about how what she says may be perceived by others, listening more, talking less.

My eldest dd is what I would desribe as gifted - my other dd has been labelled gifted by school but more accurately is quite bright and an early reader. My Dh and I have resisted any attempts by school to move dd1 up/give her harder work. I am more than happy for her to coast academically at school for a bit - she is very self motivated and learns loads at home and I feel it is so much more important to work on areas of personality that for her, and I believe many gifted kids, remain underdeveloped.

I wonder if it unrealistic and unfair to measure a school by only looking at the academic targets children achieve, rather than looking at the other ways they might contribute to the development of a child.

What do people think?

[AMumInScotland]

Those seem like very sensible targets for an 8yo to work on - I think you're right to get her to concentrate more on these kinds of areas rather than moving her into an older class where her lack of these skills would only be likely to become more noticable. But I'd also make sure that she is getting suitable academic work so that she is less likely to get bored and turned off, which is always a risk if the schoolwork is too easy.

I would hope that parents do try to measure schools in terms of how they approach children overall, but there's really no way those things can be quantified in anything like league tables, so parents have to judge on the basis of what they see when they visit the school - any school could write a wonderful-sounding list or set of checkboxes claiming that they do these things, but the reality may not match up!

[gracemargaret]

But as adults life will involve some time spent doing things we find boring/unchallenging. Dealing with the fact that life is about other people as well as ourselves and that you can't expect your needs to be met all of the time is a skill that I think it is important for children to learn. If the work is too "easy" - I tell her to focus on improving her handwriting or helping whoever is sitting next to her. She does have a list of things she can do if she finishes early (mainly wordgames and working on presentations and things she enjoys) but I worry that teaching her y4 work in y3 will only create more problems in y4 iyswim.

I agree it is difficult to measure non-academic aspects of a school although I would like to see (particularly in primary), more focus by teachers and parents on developing social skills and emotional intelligence (recognition for the best sharers/listeners/helpers maybe?) - particularly as so many studies show this has greater links to happiness in later life than academic achievements.