DS v. bright, highly disruptive in class, sitting out of class most days, help!

(3 Posts)
lolacola1977 Tue 29-Nov-16 11:42:02

Sorry for long post! So, DS started year 1 in September. It started out v. well but over the last few weeks his behaviour in class has become unmanageable to the point of him having to sit outside the classroom on an almost daily basis – afternoons especially. The crux of the issue is: he has very high abilities in most areas (ed psych assessment found his maths ability 99.7 out of 100), but is being a massive pain in the bum at school (he has been through various assessments and all say he is a totally normal kid but just v. high ability). He has a lovely teacher who is trying her best, but is at a loss at what to do…he calls out constantly in lessons, answers back etc. She has tried various rewards for good behaviour, constant reminders etc, but nothing seems to make a difference. He is a very engaging child out of school and we love him to bits. He has always struggled with his peers, but recently he has actually made some friends and the children at school actively seem to like him (which a year ago I would have thought impossible)….We manage his behaviour at home by talking to him, loving him and explaining things, but he is by no means easy at home – rewards have never worked. I think the crux of the issue is: he has realised that messing around he can make other children laugh which must be lovely for a child who always had v. negative interactions with his peers; he is tired, this is a long term and by the afternoon he has just had enough; he is bored – he could do the level of work they are doing 2 years ago in some areas and he has never been one to sit back and chill out but likes to be challenged. He also has sensory issues and told me that he prefers sitting outside the classroom because he can’t be distracted. I am wondering 2 things – whether to ask the teacher whether he can actively have some time out of the classroom in the afternoon, eg sitting in the reading area doing his own thing, drawing maps, reading etc until he is ready to work sensibly or more radically, whether to ask if I can take him out of school for say 3 afternoons a week and do home-schooling with him? Any ideas gratefully received!

JustRichmal Tue 29-Nov-16 20:07:47

I cannot offer advice as to what you should do, as I have never been in your situation. However, I do know, from home edding dd, that some children are allowed to do flexi schooling where there are behavioural problems caused autism or ADHD. I'm not saying this is your ds's case, but it may be worth your while posting on the Home Education section to see if anyone there has done flexi schooling and under what circumstances. The aim is to integrate the children back into full time education rather than look on flexi schooling as a long term option.
It sounds as though the challenge of social interaction could be what he is finding tiring. One of dd's stages of tiredness used to be finding everything funny, especially her annoying behaviour. It is something they grow out of.

itsanewdayitsanewdawn Thu 01-Dec-16 11:44:06

I have one similar to yours, OP, though cannot offer advice - you will see why if you see my recent thread! But lots of sympathy. Maybe we should set up a support thread!

I would be worried if mine were outside the schoolroom - are there no safety issues there?

Working away from the rest of the class hasn't worked for us, though it may for you, and although I think homeschooling would be best in terms of what he would learn, I think ds needs the social interraction, though maybe part time might work for you short term. Another poster on my thread raised issues of how things will be dealt with in the future, next year, year after, and I suppose another concern is that if I pull him out when things are tough, he won't learn the skills he needs to deal with things, and the same thing will keep happening. But then again, he will mature anyway as he grows and develop better self control and self awareness in any event, so maybe it would be fine.

So, I haven't a clue what the best thing to do would be! It would be great if people who had similar problems but whose sons are now fully grown could come on and give us their reflective, collective wisdom!

Mine makes children and teachers laugh too and one of my fears is that he will get away with a lot, encouraging the messing around, which I really don't think would help either. One of the things i say to him - there is a time for messing around and a time for sitting quietly and listening.... I am trying to convince myself that if I keep saying the same things over and over they will eventually take effect...

Sorry, long totally useless post!

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