Are gifted children more emotional in your opinion/experience?

(33 Posts)
One2Three4Five6 Sun 13-Mar-16 10:32:54

I've known for a while DD age 3 is very advanced for her age, her nursery teachers and HV think she is borderline 'gifted'
My question is, for those of you with advanced, gifted or talented children, do you find that they have an extra build up in their emotions? And I don't just mean the negative ones?
DD seems to overdo all emotions, if she is happy she is ecstatically happy, if she is sad it is done to the extreme, anger is massive, frustration leads to tears.
The anger and frustration I'd always put down to terrible twos and so on. But I've noticed it's the same with every emotion she feels, it's like they are heightened.

I've got two older twin DC, who never displayed this amount of emotion, but they had severe speech and language delays, and were behind academically in comparison to their peers, so I don't know if that makes any difference?

irvine101 Sun 13-Mar-16 10:48:28

My ds used to be very very emotional. All you described about your dd is quite similar to my ds at that age.
He used to cry if he see anybody crying, in real life or TV etc. Started to cry when he saw a beautiful sunset, started to cry when he heard beautiful organ music in the church, that sort of things as well. Less so now at 8 years old.

Lucsy Sun 13-Mar-16 10:56:40

Yes when he was younger. Very much so. He's mellowed with age, now 11 going on 51.

irvine101 Sun 13-Mar-16 11:12:05

"now 11 going on 51."

That is really funny! Lucsy
We had a talk with ds the other day, about him talking and acting like a teenager, jokingly agreed that his emotional age is double his real age.
But 5X the age !

originalmavis Sun 13-Mar-16 11:15:52

Strange. Never thought of it. Maybe it's different for different 'types'? But them ds is a maths/science head and can be rather prone to melodrama.

Lurkedforever1 Sun 13-Mar-16 11:33:06

I wouldn't particularly say it's a gifted trait. Ime it can happen whenever there is a gap between maturity/ emotional intelligence and ability. So could be a gifted toddler unable to rationalise their thought processes and express them. Or an average toddler frustrated because they don't have the language to say eg 'I'm not having a tantrum for that girls blue football, I think it's mine from home and want it back'.

Or at secondary age dc intelligent beyond their age not having the maturity to come to the correct conclusion from an adult line of reasoning/ information. But that also happens with the child whose at the other end of the spectrum.

Not to mention kids within the normal range all varying in personality and emotions. I think the only reason it stands out more sometimes in gifted dc is because it's easy to forget their maturity is behind their ability/ intelligence.

irvine101 Sun 13-Mar-16 12:32:52

www.stephanietolan.com/dabrowskis.htm

This link is a bit old, but you can google :Dabrowski's Over-excitabilities

lljkk Sun 13-Mar-16 12:53:54

No to OP's question. Not had that or observed it.

One2Three4Five6 Sun 13-Mar-16 13:08:49

Thank you all for responses.
I have no one I can really ask IRL
I never want to sound like 'that' mum. It's taken me a long time to even say DD is advanced for her age.
And I certainly don't want to compare DD to other children, or to be seen to if you see what I mean.
She is very different from the children around her though in the sense of her 'over the top' emotions.

From the responses here, it sounds like it could be just the way she is regardless of her ability grin I'm in for some fun over the years then

Brokenbiscuit Sun 13-Mar-16 14:09:24

DD is "gifted" (hate that word!) and she also experiences extremes of emotion. It's like everything is amplified for her, positive or negative emotions.

At 10, she is learning to manage these extremes more effectively but she still feels them. I was the same, and suspect I was also "gifted", though I don't recall anyone ever using that term when I was a kid. I guess I'm still like that tbh.

I remember stumbling on some info about Dabrowski's over-excitabilities on the Internet a few years ago, and it was like a revelation to me - it explained so much! No idea what the current thinking is on such issues, but worth a Google!

mrspepperpotty Sun 13-Mar-16 14:11:16

This isn't my experience. DS1 is gifted in maths, he's very level headed and sensible.

originalmavis Sun 13-Mar-16 14:14:05

They don't say 'gifted' any more do they?

We only say it (or 'he's special dontcha know?', or 'and he's on a scholarship too!') when DS does something spectacularly dorky.

Goingtobeawesome Sun 13-Mar-16 14:19:32

DD is always been exceptionally bright but I wouldn't say she is an emotional person with extremes. She cries sometimes over obscure things but she is her own person and I love that she knows her own mind and doesn't conform. She's just DDGTBA.

irvine101 Sun 13-Mar-16 14:23:49

Brokenbiscuit, I felt the same when I stumbled on this info about Dabrowski's few years ago. I thought it described my ds perfectly.

Brokenbiscuit Sun 13-Mar-16 14:32:16

irvine, when I first found it, I thought it described me perfectly! blush

Since then, I have realised that it also explains a lot about both dd and DH!

irvine101 Sun 13-Mar-16 18:28:30

my link says highly gifted people have all 5 areas( Psychomotor, Sensual, Imaginational, Intellectual and Emotional), but also possible to have some of it and excel in different areas of academics. I found it very believable.

One2Three4Five6 Sun 13-Mar-16 19:10:26

I've now had time to sit and read the link, and for the most part it describes my DD quite well. It makes for interesting reading.

Again, thank you for the very mixed responses. It certainly helps build a picture. It's good to get a perspective.

I'm hoping she calms down as she grows up a bit, not that I particularly want to change her, but it is sometimes difficult to deal with the extremity of her emotions.

Cuttheraisins Mon 14-Mar-16 13:41:25

Ds can be emotional just like any little boy but in many ways he is very level headed because of his 'talent' in maths/logic.

I have two DSs 10 (not g&t) and ds2 (G&T) . Last weekend I wanted to talk to them both about sex, we are very open wi them but I felt we should have another chat. I spoke to them seperate you. DS 1 was mortified, giggly, embarassed. Ds2, the 'gifted' one, couldn't get enough and wasn't embarassed one bit. He was asking loads of questions about body parts, how girls have a wee, how the cells seperate, how the placenta works, etc etc. So in a way, ds who is good at maths and science is very logical about stuff and doesn't understand or feel Things differently, in a much more grown up way. But to be honest, all children handle their feelings differently, and I am absolutely sure that many children who are not advanced with social skills, language and/or in their learning are extremely emotional.

irvine101 Mon 14-Mar-16 14:53:36

My ds can be both extremely emotional and logical at same time. The other day he was very angry over something, screaming and crying and everything, but he was saying "Mummy, for crying out loud blah blah blah...", in perfect sentence and very logical way, I just burst into laughing.

ShowOfHands Mon 14-Mar-16 14:59:13

Nope. DD is calm, rational and measured. She honestly never tantrummed. She is a very old head on young shoulders.

DS is not gifted but very emotional in every direction.

Ambroxide Mon 14-Mar-16 19:35:26

I found this article very helpful in dealing with my now 9 year old who is clever, emotional and thinks very deeply:

www.shulamit.info/funnel.htm

Brokenbiscuit Mon 14-Mar-16 21:30:03

My ds can be both extremely emotional and logical at same time.

My dd can be like this too. Even when she is really upset, she'll often say "I know I'm not being rational, but..."

She's ten.smile

anotherbusymum14 Mon 14-Mar-16 21:35:53

Yes, to emotions high and low and yes, alongside high intelligence. I have a teen and it's pretty extreme. I wish there were specialist schools for these kids but there doesn't seem to be anything other than private. That's been my recent issue.

LaContessaDiPlump Mon 14-Mar-16 21:38:41

I have 2 DC and I definitely think the more intelligent one also experiences higher peaks/deeper troughs of emotion.

onelasttrythenimout Fri 18-Mar-16 13:54:54

Yes Ds is very very extreme with his emotions and I'm beginning to notice it in my younger Dd too.

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