If you have a gifted boy was he bloody hard work as a toddler?(38 Posts)
I started another thread a few months ago 'what was your gifted child like at 2-3' mainly because it has been suggested that DS could be autistic but it was mentioned he could be gifted.
Anyway to cut a long story short HV assessed him and says DS (aged 3) is exceptionally clever and reasons for the issues we've had at playschool is that he is bored and isn't being stimulated enough.
He is an academically clever boy but then compared to other children he can seem so immature in that he can't sit still at all for more than a few seconds unless he's doing something that interests him, or he'll run off or won't take any notice when i call him. He is also quite intense and i need to give alot of attention to him, although to be fair he has got alot better over last year or will now sit and watch TV/ entertain himself for a while whilst i'm doing something else.
A few people have said to me that their sons were like this as toddlers and they are now infact adults who are very clever people. they say things got better once they went to school.
HV said about doing things with him like helping him to read, putting maps on the wall for him to look at. I'm not too sure, don't want to hot house him but then again he's not the type of kid who would do something they didn't want to.
Thursday morning i got out one of my old Peter and Jane books from school (showing my age) and he knew some of the words already (they are very basic) and i told him the other words and he was so engrossed when he could read a whole page later in the book (there are not many words to a page), and later he went on the computer and just enjoyed typing different words into word. After doing this type of thing he did seem alot easier though the day but not sure if this is the way forward, don't want to push him.
Ds (10) supposedly has an IQ of 157 and is "highly gifted".
An EP who saw him said it is common for such children to have problems with relationships with their peers as they have no understanding of what motivates people who do not think in the same way as them. Their peers can also have problems relating to them. This is clearly true of ds - he has never understood many of the things that interest other children, although he can feign an interest.
Ds also never found it easy to entertain himself when he was little and required constant attention. Reading has been a great gift for him, he can lose himself in a book for hours and hours at a time.
However, I did deliberately make the decision not to teach him to read and write before he started school. The reason for this (and I am not sure if it is a good one) was that I could read, write and count pretty well when I started school and vividly recall being bored to tears for the first year or so of school. I found everything too easy and was disappointed in school. I did not want to replicate that experience for ds.
As far as ASD goes, its more to do with how he copes socially than his intelligence. So he could be asd apart from him being bright. My ASD boy is has amazing memory yet only scores average on IQ tests. Yet my daughter is non asd and is very bright. I also worked with and autistic boy who scored on the 98th percentile for intelligence. They're all different.
DS was independent toddler, curious, determined, could concentrate for very long periods of time on specific toy/object of his choosing. He had very specific interests (trains - cars - puzzles - abacus - numbers - anything with patterns). No trouble sleeping, no trouble eating, very calm and smily, no behaviour issues. Very late talker (didn't say a word before he was 3). He is G&T in maths.
Yes, very hard work. He still is. He's lovely too though, thank goodness.
We were discussing rights and wrongs the other day - should a crocodile be killed to retrieve the body of a person swimming where signs say not to swim because of dangerous criminals and should a convicted murderer receive a heart transplant. It was quite interesting, it made me think.
I was a gifted child and just like that!
I still get a bit antsy if I don't have something to do/read/think about to be honest.
Reading is going to be a good thing for him. As you've found, its a way for him to entertain himself and is calming him down. You're not hot housing him- your giving him what he needs.
My DS was horrendous as a 2-3 year old, he didn't sleep, fought, ignored my every word. Frankly I was the woman who was pitied for having a fighty exhausting little boy. He smacked his FS1 teacher in the face and graffitied on the outside of the school building age 4 FFS.
5 years later everything has fallen into place. He is excelling at school, is "number gifted" and absolutely thriving in an environment where he is physically and mentally challenged. Instead of being the kid that other mothers avoid he is the boy that everyone wants to be best mates with and other mums seem to actively encourage his friendship.
It is such a bloody relief!
Mine was gorgeous. He was docile and cuddly and chatty. He could speak and understand well from a very early age so i was able to reason with him.
His brother, who is above average but not gifted required constant stimulation. He was exhausting.
Many years later, the docile gifted baby is a lot of work. He worries, frets, and has anxiety. It breaks my heart to look at his baby and toddler photos when he was so happy. I blame consciousness.
His brother is very easy going and is happy so long as he has a good book.
I think you can't predict intelligence based on a toddler's temperament.
update> DS has started a new preschool this sept, recommended to me by the HV as she thought it would be more stimulating for him. So far so good he seems to love it, at least he wants to go everyday even at the weekends so thats a big improvement on his last one. He's got his 15 hours so if going every afternoon and its making him soo tired he's sleeping 12-14 hours a night!!!
DS1 is G&T but was a breeze as a toddler and still is at 7, DS2 is not G&T and has been difficult since the age of 6 months.
DS is G&T and has been the easiest child imaginable, as long as you do not mind talking and answering questions from the minute he wakes up until he falls asleep
Sorry, no. My son was like a little old man when he was three and has always been a sunny soul. Very very clever but not difficult at all.
both my daughters seem exceptionally bright but the eldest has been what I would describe as 'unique' since birth. The HV said she had never met a child like her, 2 GPs told me she ought to be assessed for ASD when she was under 2 and she is very off the wall, hard work and quite difficult but she is also very loving and caring and has excellent relationships with other children so I wouldn't put her down as ASD classic symptoms.
She is difficult though. three different Health visitors who knew her when she was younger said she was gifted and they said they used the word because she was extremely bright and yet 'different' too. She views the world in a completely different way to the other children we know. My sister was very similar although not quite as difficult.
Sadly I don't think she is a happy little girl because she seems to find the world so strange.
just thought i'd give an update, not G&T related , but DS is getting on great with his new pre school. There was a meeting today when you could have update with a teacher. Well they say that while they think it is too early to say anything definate they cannot recognise any of the signs that his old pre school did and he gives good eye contact, listens etc. They said he does have little quirks but 'don't we all' and he had a very mathematical brain. More of a weight of my mind. If i could have been given anything from this year at nursery it would be just that DS would enjoy it and he certainly seems to be doing that, he wants to go every and really enjoys his time there
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