Anything i should be doing now?

[cantmummyhaveabreak]

DS (5.10yo) has been recognised as gifted in maths and literacy by the school. They have said that they will be doing extra things with him both in and out of school to help develop them further... but is there anything else i should be doing or could be doing?

He's also been moved up to year 2 (currently year 1 student) for his phonics lessons every day, and there's talk of him being moved up a whole year if he continues to excel his peers. It's never happened before at the school, and i dont know anyone else it's happened to, anyone on here got any advice?

DD1 (4.6yo) is being taught by DS's reception teacher from last year and he's said the way she's going she's going to do exactly the same as DS too...

I'm finding it a bit overwhelming to be honest. I never really thought any of my DC's would be 'gifted'... I mean, I've always thought they were intellegent, but would never have called them 'gifted'.

In all honesty we've spent the last week telling them how proud we are, and letting them brag to the family about how well they're doing... but it's just really sinking in that maybe i should or could be doing something to help them more than we already do...

[julybutterfly]

'letting them brag to the family about how well they're doing'

I'm sure that'll go down well when they brag to their school friends!

[Hullygully]

Everyone will tell you to let them be children etc etc, and of course that's true, but I would also suggest that you try and ensure they're not bored. Some children are brighter/quicker/whatever word you prefer, and they do get bored.

[cantmummyhaveabreak]

not 'bragging' as in look how much better i am, just telling their grandparents and aunties that their teachers said very good things about how they're doing... they are in no way being made to think they are better than their friends at all!!

[cory]

I take it your last paragraph was tongue in cheek, cantmummy? I mean you wouldn't really, would you? That would be like letting them brag that they are prettier than their mates or taller or healthier. Not exactly an achievement on their parts.

Please tell us it was a funny joke.

[cantmummyhaveabreak]

well that's all we have been doing previously, Hully- just wondered if letting them do more activities outside of school etc might be worthwhile, they both attend art club once a week which is a school club. But other than that we do nothing else with them other than the usual... I guess i dont want to feel i'm letting the school do everything to help DS develop himself further, but i dont want to push him at all, we are in no way 'pushy parents' and i'm happy to just work with the school if thats the norm... but dont want the school to think we're doing nothing if there's more we could be doing IYKWIM??

TBH i just dont know if i'm supposed to do more now i've been made aware...

[cory]

ok, cross-posted

but even so I would not encourage them to tell grandparents how well they are doing: it's better if you do that behind their back

otherwise, they might feel really awkward if they one day end up not so good at something, and wonder if they have to inform aunties etc of that too....

And btw, not all bright children get bored. Some are brilliant at driving and motivating themselves. And in the present case, it does seem as if the school are doing a lot.

[Miggsie]

My DD is ahead of everyone in her year and always has been, she gets special lessons, however, I would not advise moving a child up a year, I know people this has happened to and the child finds it difficult to form friendships in the new age group. Emotionally, a whole year is a lot at this age.

Also, moving a child up a year is a lazy way of extending them, and it means they may have to do year 2 twice (this happened to a friend and she was bored rigid). The school should do propoer extension in class and one to ones, this way DD gets to do work that is appropriate and stays with her friends.


The other possible issue is that they are ahead now, but they might plateau, this does occasionally happen and the teachers should be able to advise whether they think the child will slow or be permanently ahead. If the teachers can only advise moving up a year to deal with your child's advanced ability I'd be a bit wary to be honest, I think it is a bad solution at that age and cause more problems than it solves.

[Hullygully]

yy to that

[cantmummyhaveabreak]

Cory- DS isn't aware that the teachers and school have said he's gifted. The 'bragging' and praise they recieved in on no higher a level than that of the other parents we heard praising their DC's on parents evening.

They are recieving no more praise than they did with their parents evenings last year when we were basically just told they were settling in well, we well behaved and doing well etc...

It's not like they're telling family members EVERY detail... Just that the teachers are very happy. Surely thats normal for any child to be able to be proud that they are doing well???...

[cory]

One good thing you can do is provide lots of good books at home: library, charity shops, Amazon. There is nothing like having a good home library. Also, museums, theatre, whatever you can afford really. And just talking to them.

But I would be careful about telling aunties and grandparents too much. My SIL has always been going on about how wonderfully gifted her ds is, and tbh he has needed all his charm to live that down with the extended family. The rest of us kept wondering why he hasn't saved the world yet. Even his doting grandparents have found it harder to really admire his achievements because they were shoved down their necks for so many years (though fortunately never by him: he is a very nice lad). They are much quicker to notice achievements by other grandchildren. Which is a shame, because he is a really nice lad- and not at all untalented. But nobody likes forcefeeding.

[cory]

ok, cross-posted again. I think I am perhaps a little jaundiced by the example of my SIL. But then she has felt the need to let the family know every time her ds has achieved something/has been praised by the teacher/has learnt something new/has had somebody tell him he is clever. I am trying to keep a lower profile, not least because I reckon that if dd is bright, then that will be apparent to somebody who spends time talking to her without any need for spelling it out. The one time I do tell family she is doing well is when they know she has been battling difficulties, e.g. been ill for a long time.

But obviously, once does no harm. As long as you don't make a habit of it (please don't become my SIL- she is lovely, I really love her, but she does embarrass her ds).

It's fine to be proud of your los. But I am always more proud when they have achieved something that was difficult, rather than just done what comes naturally.

Anyway, it is great fun having bright children- you can do lots- you can have interesting conversations- enjoy!!!

[mychatnickname]

What about if they just visit the year above for a couple of lessons a week? I have doubts about the ability of some teachers in classes of 30 to differentiate really well so this seems to make sense to me.

[mychatnickname]

Pixie, in your experience as someone further down the line, what has worked best for you?

I am awaiting parents evening on Monday eve and thinking about what we could ask for....

[mychatnickname]

I think your ds is way more ahead of the class though isn't he?

One thing I'm worried about is ds' school fudging the attainment level figures. The EYFS (reception) scores looked a bit fishy to me based on what a number of kids got. Like the head had said no they can't have 9s.

I think they're so focused on adding value in Ofsted's eyes that I wouldn't put it past them to decide a kid should be assessed at a lower level than they're at, then it's easier to add value plus this would also give them a get out clause for differentiating more.

[mychatnickname]

I went to look at an independent school today. I was quite underwhelmed. I have looked at a few before but the travel time was the key issue.
I think that after 7 that will be less of a problem than it would be now though so maybe we'll switch then. We only have the one dc and can afford it comfortably tbh.

We'll see what they come up with on parents eve and the good thing is ds is not bored and is still progressing plenty thanks to about four minutes a day chatting about stuff like practical maths problems (which he loves) per day at home.

[mychatnickname]

Just to add, I have seen another private school I'd be quite happy with at 7 though. It was only the one today which seemed a bit pointless compared to where he is now

[mychatnickname]

Very aware of that. I went to private school myself and in retrospect it was not that good.

Yes I'm thinking maybe the end of year 2 is the cut-off point when school needs to be taking on more and home less.