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*Tamoxigang Christmas Party* - 45

(980 Posts)
Tiny100 Thu 28-Nov-13 10:58:10

Morning All!

We're nearly in December, so let's get the festivities started.

[adds mince pies to the trolley]

foofooyeah Thu 28-Nov-13 11:02:54


foofooyeah Thu 28-Nov-13 11:03:35

I'll take your mince pie and raise you some stollen.

Ohh, foo foo, stollen, have only discovered it this year, but am loving it. Might have to leave early to get DD1 from preschool to buy some.

Hello new thread, have spent very productive 20 minutes sorting Christmas presents to realise I onLy have DH left to buy for and stocking fillers for DD1 and DS. I am recycling lots for DD2 Christmas babygros, vests and socks as well as some toys that the others have grown out of and I have hidden!!

weebarra Thu 28-Nov-13 11:58:24

Ooh, lidl stollen! Wee bit of a post chemo hangover today but still functioning. Open morning at DS2's nursery class today which was fun - my wig's first public outing!
Knitting - I need to get all my pressies together, I have bought too much, for which I blame both cancer and the MN xmas bargain thread!

malteserzz Thu 28-Nov-13 12:02:17

I've never had stollen or pannetonne which seems to be on all of the Christmas adverts this year.
Have received my 1st Christmas card this morning !

BetsyBoop Thu 28-Nov-13 13:33:29

if you like marzipan malt, stollen is a must smile

Pannetonne is very overrated IMVHO.

BetsyBoop Thu 28-Nov-13 13:36:46

Just seen on the news that Bodie (Lewis Collins) has died, he was one of my teenage heartthrobs. sad

Tiny100 Thu 28-Nov-13 14:54:30

I gave overseas Christmas fare a wide birth after being let down by a couple of years ago by Pannetonne. Not sure if I tried a bad one, but it was just dry and tasteless.

At the end of the last thread I was asking if anyone had been offered genetic testing and what their reasons were for either accepting or declining having it done. Thanks to Gigs and Wee for sharing their stories. If anyone else has anything to add, I am all ears.

malteserzz Thu 28-Nov-13 15:08:00

Sad about Lewis Collins
I will try stollen, I agree that pannetonne looks dry and tasteless

Tiny no family history here at all so I wasn't offered any genetic testing

Tiny100 Thu 28-Nov-13 15:19:34

I don't have family history either Malt, but was offered due to my age and triple negative status. Can't make up my mind whether to go for it or not.

Off to google who Lewis Collins is, as I haven't a clue.

Gigondas Thu 28-Nov-13 16:06:18

Been making mincemeat here. Agree that stollen is lovely but do not see point of panettone.

Lewis Collins - he must have been no at allshocksad.

weebarra Thu 28-Nov-13 16:17:24

Past couple of years, DH has got a chocolate pannetone from a client. I make a pannetone bread and butter pudding with it. Probably not terribly healthy....

amberlight Thu 28-Nov-13 17:07:31

Marking my place

I'm slightly different as wasn't really given a choice about genetic testing, my cancer was a result of multiple colon polyps which are very rare at 21 so definitely a result of a genetic condition. There were three possibilities and they were fairly certain it was FAP, and it was. Having a definite answer means they know exactly what other types of cancer I'm at risk from and can screen for them. Also as I've not had children yet, I can now have pre implantation genetic testing (as part of IVF) to avoid passing it on - if I passed it on, any children would have to have the same surgery I've had to avoid cancer as condition always leads to cancer. Not sure this story is at all helpful but thought I'd share anyway just I'm case, also I know there was a poster on last thread whose daughter had FAP so might be useful for her too.

I hope everyone is well xxx

jchocchip Thu 28-Nov-13 18:56:38

Ooo a party and mince pies <marks place> and stollen. cake

Been neglecting you all, sorry.

Hello to Au, bugger that you have to wait so long for your treatment plan. 'spose they may be running further tests. Did they give you any clues at all? waiting is so horrible so a big wine for you tonight.

Was good with food today, but somehow a bag of misshapes fell into my basket on my way home and I've eaten too many. <scatters rest on trolley>

smee Thu 28-Nov-13 19:15:03

Been awol, but did you say stollen?! grin How are you all, been reading from time to time, but life's been a bit manic.

Au, sorry you're here. Very scary at first (not this thread!), but honestly stick around. Nothing so helpful as others who have been through it all.

Wren48 Thu 28-Nov-13 19:31:37

Hi all, I'm another one looking for a bit of comfort and support. I've been lurking on this thread for a while (lump-diagnosis-lumpectomy) but just now feel broken down by unexpectedly bad post op results. The tumour is bigger than expected but more to the point all the marginal tissue is riddled with cancerous cells - they've no idea how far it extends. Oh and one out of three sentinal nodes. So, mastectomy, node clearance, chemo are all new news for me.

Genetic testing has come up as has the question of reconstruction (same time as mx? Later? I've no idea where to start with that). Help! Too many things all at once.

Glad that there is a place to offload this stuff. Holding off from telling the kids the latest until I can do so calmly.

malteserzz Thu 28-Nov-13 20:35:23

Wren welcome to you though sorry you have to be here
I hope you will find everyone here as helpful as I have smile
Ask anything nothing is out of bounds here. I've just finished chemo and it wasn't as bad as I feared thanks to all the tips I got from here. How old are your kids ?

Waving to ruby Amber smee and jchoc

foofooyeah Thu 28-Nov-13 20:44:34

welcome to wren Sorry you are here, but they are a great bunch and been a huge support to me.

With regards to telling the children: everyone does it different, ask for advice. I just told my oldest but hes 20, he did cry. Have not told my youngest who is just 10 - he did wonder why I hadnt been at work for so long but I just said I was working from home which was true, and what I used to do one day a week. I have been very fortunate so far not have had few side effects so life has carried on for him pretty much as usual.

As for reconstruction - I did start a spearate thread on that as it started taking over the main thread a bit, and the main thread was so busy but it does seem to have calmed down a bit. Also it didnt apply to everyone on this thread. I will bump it up for you. My head is firmly in the samd wrt to reconstrcution but must do some serious thinking in the next week or two.

Wren48 Thu 28-Nov-13 20:46:40

Kids are 15, 14, 11 (two DSs and a DD). So GCSEs next year. And I'll be 50 half way through chemo. Hey ho.

Wren48 Thu 28-Nov-13 20:51:17

Oh I'll happily look at the reconstruction thread - don't want to drown anything out.

I told the children the earlier news, but just haven't broken the latest line of treatment to them. My eldest finds chemo very frightening as an idea (my nephew's just in the midst if it) so ill have to do some PR on it. hmm

amberlight Thu 28-Nov-13 21:17:41

Hi Wren, welcome to you and to Au too.
Sorry you're both here. But it's a good place to be for support.
Wren, yes, that's a lot to be thinking about. And a lot of treatment ahead. But the modern potions are excellent and the long term odds are very good. I won't pretend for a moment that it'll be easy. But I can tell you that it'll be do-able.
Have a cuppa. In fact cuppas all round.

Wren48 Thu 28-Nov-13 21:29:07

Thank you for kind replies. I feel much better for them and for the advice that it will be do-able.

trice Thu 28-Nov-13 21:46:49

Is it too early to drape some fairy lights over the thread?Dh mmakes me wait until the kids break up before the ornaments come out. But surely every day needs fairy lights?

I have just got to put the edge on an Afghan I have knitted for dsis. It was supposed to be a house warming present, but they moved in in August so it will have to double as a Christmas present. It has turned out rather well though I say so myself.

trice Thu 28-Nov-13 21:48:12

Hello Wren, sorry to hear your news. I hope you get a plan in place soon.

Marshy Thu 28-Nov-13 21:55:59

Hi all,
Just saying hello on the new thread. Sorry to see new faces, but a warm welcome to a place where you will find lots of support.

Hope everyone else is going along ok. I've had one or two wobbles over the last week, mainly towards the end of the day when I've been feeling very tired and have inspected my new boob one two many times and have convinced myself that it definitely looks a different shape to how it looked that morning, and that must mean something's wrong!

Oh, I am so fed up with myself! Just get a grip woman! I may just see BCN so she can tell me it's fine and then I can stop worrying for a bit maybe

On the upside, I saw my rheumatologist this morning and can restart on the meds that keep my joints mobile as had to come off it pre-surgery, and there was a ? over whether I could go back on it as it's not recommended where there has been a cancer diagnosis, but given my DCIS outcome, we've decided to go for it.

Also DD is coming home from uni for the night tomorrow. I would like to think she's coming to see us, but it's mainly to meet the new kitten, who has become a complete sweetie since she figured out how to use the litter tray

And I've decided to learn how to play the cornet. I used to play the clarinet but had to give up owing to arthritic fingers, but there's only 3 things to press on the cornet so thought I'd stop thinking about it and actually do it. I've borrowed an instrument from our local brass band - it's beautiful and sitting on my kitchen table as I type - and the nice lady flugelhorn player is coming over to give me some pointers before I find a teacher. Better warn the neighbours!

Am feeling a bit warm every night and wondering if it's the tamoxifen or just being 50+.

Off to do a bit of practice raspberry blowing....

jchocchip Thu 28-Nov-13 22:57:01

Ooo I started to learn the cornet at school - was never very good but enjoyed playing in the school band. Played a bit of flute when I was off work, but never seem to have time these days.

Hello Wren. Sorry to hear your news, good idea to keep the children one step behind.

Went for a swim earlier and now I've stayed up too late, oops.

foofooyeah Thu 28-Nov-13 23:41:53

trice what is an afghan? I have an image of the afghan coat of my youth but assume it s quite different.

I wish I was musical ... Perhaps we should have the tamoxifen orchestra .... I could play the triangle.

Not too early for Christmas lights. I put my tree up today blush but t isn't decorated yet.

kitkat1967 Fri 29-Nov-13 07:25:03

marshy - I played the cornet at school -up to grade 8 and was the principal in the school band blush. I recently bought myself a cornet as was fed up of the kids having loads of instruments but not played it since I got it.
EBay is your friend if you need to buy own as so many kids give up very quickly.
But I'd be able to contribute to the orchestra and both DCs play 3 instruments each so between us we can provide a rather random selection!!!

I'm thinking of doing some present wrapping today (expecting lose of feeling in fingers to kick back in tomorrow) but have a fair amount of work to get through first - plus have shuffled back to bed for now.

Marshy Fri 29-Nov-13 07:54:20

Oh wow kitkat, that's amazing! Are you going to start playing again? I try to live my life as if I don't have arthritis but it was a sadness for me that it stopped me playing the clarinet. I was working towards grade 5 as an adult. I joined a choir after that and have been singing alto for a long time which I've really enjoyed but just missed playing an instrument so decided to go for it. Why wait? The band secretary has been so helpful. I sound like a foghorn at the moment!
So it's the tamoxigang band or maybe choir. We have cornet, flute and triangle so far, plus mini kitkats and I'll hum a little alto tune in the background smile

Lilymaid Fri 29-Nov-13 08:03:12

Marshy I'll join you in the Altos in the choir.
I've had a busy week and managed to get to some work related networking drinks last night rather than rushing home to snooze the evening away on the sofa!
Welcome to Au and Wren. I hope the thread is helpful for you.

trice Fri 29-Nov-13 08:08:40

I got to grade 4 on the bassoon and can raise a tune on a clarinet. Ds has been playing the French horn since September and is sounding quite tuneful compared to his first lesson. Next door all play the bagpipes. They are quite accomplished but three bagpipes going full tilt sounds like a marching band!

Malt, this Afghan is a sofa blanket. Not exciting really but warm and snuggly. In deference to dsis taste it is all in natural undyed sheep and not brights which I usually favour. It has taken about 100 hours so far. I can guarantee that some non knitter will casually exclaim "can you make me one? " to which the answer is "it will £800 on minimum wage thank you".

Marshy, you need a distraction to stop your poor brain searching for danger. I play games on my phone. It is like having a fractious toddler in my head who needs distracting with a biscuit to calm down. Stupid brain. The cornet is a good idea but could cause a bit of consternation if you practice late at night!

Marshy Fri 29-Nov-13 08:18:12

that's good lily, I wouldn't want to be singing on my own!

We could do a turn at the Christmas party!

We also need tea and biscuits for break time at rehearsals, and maybe a trip to the pub after grin

Get buffing your instruments everyone!

Meanwhile, I am waiting for my first ocado delivery later this morning. It took me hours to do online yesterday afternoon so had better be worth it.

And off to see gp later for a general review. Might show her my boob!

Marshy Fri 29-Nov-13 08:25:36

trice you are spot on re toddler in my head, it is very tiring, as toddlers tend to be

Your dh gives me hope that I might sound better soon! Bagpipes sound fab. Hope they are considerate neighbours. I will try to be. Do you still play at all?

Gonna get up and dressed now as gp in an hour

Marshy Fri 29-Nov-13 08:32:18

Just had a text from ocado. What the hell is raspberry van? Guess I'll find out so.e time between 11 and 12! Seems all very efficient.

Wren48 Fri 29-Nov-13 11:25:10

I love Ocado and intend to use it more than ever now. Mind you, did do a very random shop at 2am (couldn't sleep) night before last, missing most things we needed. But still better than DH who recently ordered 8kg carrots and 12 packs of Jaffa cakes. Children were very happy.

BetsyBoop Fri 29-Nov-13 11:34:53

Ooh we are a musical bunch. I used to play violin at school (up to grade 5) but haven't really played much since. I also sing in a choir - soprano though - I'm hoping to go back to that in the New Year. (Paused for a while once I started chemo).

Marshy Ocado is fab smile I used them for a while now. Once you've done a few shops it gets really quick as they "learn" your shopping habits and can suggest a trolley full for you and you can just skip through taking out what you don't want. They also prompt you with a "have you run out of X?" list - it's amazing how many times I'm running low on what they suggest! Their fruit and veg is really fresh too.

Marshy Fri 29-Nov-13 11:40:16

Ocado delivery arrived, all present and correct. I'm impressed, will use them again.

Gp had a good look at my boob and said it is lovely, so will stop worrying for a bit.

Hope you are ok wren and au The early days of this process are tough with all the anxiety about not knowing what's in store. Hang in there and it will get better.

Marshy Fri 29-Nov-13 11:47:47

Betsy - x post with you! Nice to meet another choir member. I had a few weeks off post surgery, but went back last week and will be singing all the Christmas stuff and trying not to cry at the lovely carols.

Have you got a Christmas delivery slot booked Betsy? Just wondering if it's worth signing up for this delivery charge thing so I can get one

malteserzz Fri 29-Nov-13 11:52:06

Morning all
Think I will be the one playing the triangle at the back in our band !
I used sainsburys delivery a couple of weeks ago and they were very good.

BetsyBoop Fri 29-Nov-13 11:52:11

That's the other good thing about Ocado, they rarely have many subs (I've used weekly for over 3 years now and probably get 1 or 2 subs a month, whereas with Tesco that I had used previosuly I would get about 10 every order...) The drivers are all lovely and helpful too. smile I booked my Xmas delivery slot way back in Oct when they first came out for delivery pass customers! Can you check online if there are any left (not sure if it will let you see them IYKWIM)

Patti888 Fri 29-Nov-13 12:11:14

Hi, my name is patti. I have larygeal cancer.
Diagnosed last January & completed gruelling chemotherapy combined with radiotherapy treatment for 9 months. I was given a 3% chance of survival longer than 5yrs but odds slightly better now.
A recurrence mean surgery, removal of voice box & permanent tracheostomy (breathing hole in neck)
Just had first clear PET scan �� need another 5 years of clear scans before I'm 'cured'.
I have five children, four grown up ones & an adopted 3 yr old, who we have fostered since birth & adopted when we were given 'first choice' at six months old.
Since my diagnosis at the beginning of the year I've felt so guilty for adopting our little lad. I can't get it out of my head that he may loose two mothers, his birth mum & me.
My husband has been wonderful. He stopped work to look after DS & me during treatment & I know if the worst happens & I don't make it he will manage bringing up DS.
Guess I need support ladies please

Marshy Fri 29-Nov-13 12:14:30

When I looked yesterday all of Christmas week was greyed out. Will look again later and maybe sign up for the delivery thing - perhaps I can just get in as I guess all the ordinary slots will be snapped up really quickly.

Haven't tried Sainsbury malt. Will maybe give them a go. Triangle is good, or you could maybe just go for it and do a great big crash on the cymbals!

Marshy Fri 29-Nov-13 12:22:48

hi Patti, crossed post with you.

Justvwanted to say hello and welcome. Sounds like you have had a very tough time of it.

My situation doesn't compare to yours but I did feel bad for somehow letting my children down by being I'll. As my gp said to me 'you didn't ask for this - go easy on yourself'

It sounds as if your little lad is surrounded by love. Heartfelt good wishes to you x

Wren48 Fri 29-Nov-13 12:32:54

Hi Patti, welcome and hugs to you. it sounds as though things have been really tough, but so good to hear of the clear PET scan.

I think so much of the misery of bad things happening transfers into our feelings of responsibility and anxiety round our kids. You're giving him love at such an important time in his life. That is simply a good thing.

Wren48 Fri 29-Nov-13 12:37:31

Oh and Ocado Christmas slots. Slots come available I think a week in advance (?). Anyway it's predictable (should be the same as how far in advance you can book now) I always write the date I think the slots will come up in the diary to remind me to get in there quick that morning. Seems to work. Mostly.

kitkat1967 Fri 29-Nov-13 15:45:30

afternoon all, and welcome Patti.

Well big news here smile - spoke to BCN and she said I would be OK to go on holiday in April so have booked to go to Tunisia for a week - no hanging about once I got the nod. And at the same time she booked me in for my pre-op assessment in jan (so not too much sugar or lard for me over xmas then!!).
Am on a roll so looking for a summer holiday now!!

I'm feeling OK today but can feel the SEs coming on - still last time now and by Monday I know I'll be on the up.

I can't sing so it's band only for me wink.

malteserzz Fri 29-Nov-13 16:18:49

That's great kitkat and will give you something to look forward to smile
Been feeling down today as it's the church advent service and decorations day at school which is always a lovely day and I'm missing it sad
Been quiet on here today hopefully everyone is out Christmas shopping ! I'm taking dd over the weekend to get her a few bits for Christmas as there's nothing big she wants, ds is having an x box so he's easy.

Marshy Fri 29-Nov-13 16:58:45

Kitkat, that's great news re your holiday and that it's all on course for your op in Jan. I'm seeing surgeon in March to plan the other side, but new boob on MX side is looking good when I'm not fretting about it. Maybe I'll have a matching pair by the summer!

Malt, sorry you're feeling down. It must be hard missing the festivities. Do you plan to go in at all before the end of term?

Patti888 Fri 29-Nov-13 17:34:36

Wow thanks so much everyone for the wonderful welcome. It's great to talk with people who know what that cancer diagnosis is all about.
I'm incredibly lucky to be here & pretty fit and well (apart from the numb hands & feet from chemo) but the hair is growing so not so cold this winter for me.
Christmas prep abandoned in our house. We've decided to flee to Florida to sponge off my big sis for the festivities. It's also somewhat warmer over there.
Wish I could take you all with me.
Thanks once again & fantastic to have a place to chat
Many thanks everyone

malteserzz Fri 29-Nov-13 18:06:37

Sounds fab patti good for you, I'm sure we could all fit in your suitcases grin

Shootingatpigeons Fri 29-Nov-13 19:33:43

<ventures in, looks around for scary mumsnetters from AIBU thread and jumps round door>

I just wanted to say to wren if she is about that you are sounding like a bit of a twinny. I didn't have clear margins on my lumpectomy either, and subsequent mx found lots of low grade stuff throughout the breast as well as the nasty high grade tumour, plus I had one positive node. And I am now 12 years and 4 months on (not that I am counting but getting the christmas stuff out is always a milestone) and I still even have a healthy other boob. The treatment isn't great and the whole lumpectomy to mastectomy thing just cruel but I endured it all and moved on. And when Amber says chances are you will too she really does know what she is talking about. I actually never got round to bothering with reconstruction, didn't care enough to be arsed plus I am a wimp

Trice We may still have the fairy lights up from DDs 18th, and the UV lights in the conservatory and worst of all the multi coloured fibre optic numbers. It is like a very cheap, and dead, 80s disco... All we need is an orange George Michael in shorts, or even budgie smugglers, just for you gigs and Topsy They would look especially good under the UV lights grin

I am a former member of my university's sports team branch of the Dagenham Girls' Pipe Band but we were only allowed to sing when everyone was really seriously pissed as in, unlikely to remember how bad it was. I'll keep quiet then, until Topsy has had enough wine to join in.....

Shootingatpigeons Fri 29-Nov-13 19:35:03

Also waves to everyone. I love you all, mwah, mwah!

Gigondas Fri 29-Nov-13 20:13:48

Ohh pigeons you know what I like winksmilegrin. Welcome -Patti Florida sounds lovely.

Doing ok if tired But been out to see therapist (and offload my anxiety on chemo not working) and then took kids to kew to see their special Xmas light trail. It was lovely if cold.

Off to read properly and catch up.

amberlight Fri 29-Nov-13 20:59:33

Hi all. And hi to Patti too.
Patti, are you able to say why they thought your odds were 5%? Laryngeal cancer normally has a much better set of odds than that. What sort of things were affecting that? If you don't want to say, that's fine - it's just that I can sometimes find useful brand new things that assist.

PS no need for guilt. Your lovely young lad has you right now and there is no better person in the world than you for him. And you're not about to go anywhere else fast. We're very close to 'holding treatments' that can just stabilise cancer and turn it into a long term nuisance. So scary as life has been for you, the odds are improving by the month.

Wren48 Fri 29-Nov-13 21:06:36

Hi pigeons, I really really appreciate you taking the trouble to write that. The surgeon wouldn't be drawn on any longer term implications (understandably) so I'm definitely cheered by a parallel experience that went well.

And very impressed with your decorations...

malteserzz Sat 30-Nov-13 08:57:42

Morning all
Loving George Michael grin
How's everyone today ? In braving town for Christmas shopping this afternoon with dd, wish me luck !

foofooyeah Sat 30-Nov-13 12:22:20

Mornin all, and welcome to patti

malt good luck with shopping.

I'm feeling good today, went to gym Wed and fri. Not going today as my old knees are complaining but will be back tomorrow. No doubt will be bought down with a bump on Wed with chemo #5 .... And no doubt will have mambo number 5 song in my head all day long.

Ahhh, George, how lovely he was. Not that I would have admitted it back in the day being a bit of a goth.

Hi all , and welcome to the new people though sorry you find yourselves here

I had my first poorly experience with chemo this week. Had 3rd AC chemo on Mon. Was doing well til Thur, then wham, all energy deserted me. Spend two days in bed/lying on couch. I picked up a cough from DD2, which I think contributed. But I'm definitely coming around today, even if my legs still feel like jelly. I'm a bit nervous of cough turning nasty while my bloods are low.

It is a gorgeous day in south of Ireland. I hope it is nice weather for all of you planning Christmas shopping today.

reallyreallyworried Sat 30-Nov-13 15:45:43

Hi all

The deed is done! I have shaved my hair off! So today I wore a headscarf for the first time. I went to a Christmas fair. Felt a little self conscious for a bit. But then just got on with it. I feel quite proud of myself smile

I hope everyone has a lovely weekend. Xxxxxx

Well done really. It is a big step.

malteserzz Sat 30-Nov-13 19:34:10

Foo foo well done on going to the gym
Mom of 2 sorry you've been feeling yukky glad you're feeling a bit Bette now
Really that must have been hard but it's another step out of the way

I've been shopping all afternoon then out for an early dinner absolutely shattered now so will chill and watch X factor and I'm a celeb tonight
Hope everyone's ok

reallyreallyworried Sat 30-Nov-13 19:55:29

Thanks momofTwo hope you are feeling better soon xxx

malt It wasn't as hard as I imagined. I think spending a few days getting used to it falling out, and getting annoyed at finding hair everywhere. I was ready to take the plunge! Now I feel that I am back in control for a bit!!

I think it's like all this, it's the fear of the unknown that is difficult to cope with! I'm still a bit nervous about seeing my charges on Monday and all the parents/nannies outside school. BUT once that's done, I think the worst bit is over! Well hair related anyway!

Then it's PICC line, oncologist app on Wednesday and 2nd Chemo Thursday! Then I'll be a third of the way through grin

Hope the Christmas shopping went well? Xxxxxxxx

malteserzz Sat 30-Nov-13 21:46:09

Shopping was good thanks really and was really nice to spend some time with dd as she's out so much with her friends these days
Managed to get some presents and going to try and get as much done for Christmas as I can before my op smile

trice Sat 30-Nov-13 22:55:46

My friend brought cake round to cheer me up. My sil took me out for coffee. Another friend took my dcs out for tea. I need to count my blessings.

I am looking forward to opening my advent calendar in the morning. Dcs have three each.

Morning, waving to you all.

Really we are living in a parallel universe - I shaved my hair off on Monday and it was such a flipping relief after it all coming out in handfuls. I have been out in assorted hats and my wig (and a wig/hat combo to dd2's Christmas fair when it was a bit windy). I've given up feeling self-conscious - that's other people's problem and not mine.

I have chemo 3 this week and hope I'll be well enough as have been knocked down by a cold / stomach bug all this determined to keep up my two-weekly regime as it fits in so well with Christmas / school plays / my social life!

I shall be wearing a comedy wig for Boxing Day with the ILs, and my entire family (including DCs) will also be turning up in comedy wigs in order to surprise the ILs. My family have a weird obsession with dressing up, so any excuse.

So that's me really......

Also wanted to say hello and welcome to the new ladies who have found themselves here. These ladies are wonderful and have been such a tremendous support to me when I've been feeling low, confused, depressed or just needed a good kick up the arse.

patti welcome smile sorry you need to be here though. My aunt had throat cancer and she has had her voicebox removed and has a permanent tracheostomy. That was over ten years ago. She now goes to visit other patients who need the surgery to reassure them about life after surgery. You obviously love your little boy so much, it sounds like your family is the perfect place for him. I have no children but I had some eggs frozen before chemotherapy and I already feel guilty for considering having children when I have had cancer and have a chance of getting other cancers later in life! Really though, any parent could be run over or similar, it's just one of the uncertainties of life.

Waving to everyone x

weebarra Sun 01-Dec-13 10:49:50

Welcome to all the new ladies, sorry you have to be here but this thread is a great support. About to go out to the beach with the kids, all wrapped up!

foofooyeah Sun 01-Dec-13 22:54:08

Waving to all too.

handbags your wig wearing fancy dress loving family sound a hoot.

reallyreallyworried Mon 02-Dec-13 07:02:21

Morning all. Hope you all had a good weekend.

handbags sounds like you are handling the hair loss thing well, well done you. I am with you all the way, if people want to stare or feel awkward that's their problem. Althouh so far, I haven't had any negative reactions! Even coming back on a two hour train trip last night.

Today is the big day! School and nursery run. Seeing people and children that I know! I'm thinkng that at this time of year the positive is that everyone is wearing hats, so my scarf won't look any different to the children! Just the well meaning adults to cope with!!!

Hope everyone has a good day! Xxxxx

malteserzz Mon 02-Dec-13 08:04:11

Morning everyone
Hope everyone had a good weekend
Trice sounds like you've got some lovely friends there. smile
Handbags sounds like Boxing Day is going to be fun grin
Really good luck with the school runs, once you've done it once it will be fine

Didn't want it get up this morning in the dark and cold. Off food shopping with my friend later

Still fighting a terrible cold, but worst of chemo side effects behind me for this cycle. Went back to bed after DDs collected for school, am still lazing cozily in bed.

Poor DDs have terrible colds too and Dd1 has a sore throat. Timing is terrible as their school show is on Wed and Thur nights. Dd1 has a small singing solo which she is very excited about. I'm dosing her with honey and plenty of nurofen, and she tried throat lozenges for first time this morning. She can't even stay off school because of all the rehearsal time. I'm relying on excitement getting her through til Thur night.

But we still managed to get our Christmas tree up yesterday. I did the lights and let DDs do all the decorations. It looks great, very cheerful!

trice Mon 02-Dec-13 11:27:45

I hope your girls get to perform mom. There seem to be a lot of coughs and colds around atm.

I just bought a novelty hat shaped like a turkey from monsoon. It was definitely the best thing in there. It should get some laughs on Christmas day.

I have a ct scan this afternoon (wibble) . Wish me luck.

Good luck with the scan trice!

BetsyBoop Mon 02-Dec-13 12:10:46

<parks bum firmly on paranoia box and holds trice's hand>

Tiny100 Mon 02-Dec-13 12:26:37

Waves to all - am feeling crap from Friday's chemo, but will catch up later.

Just wanted to wish Trice good luck for this afternoon's scan. x

kitkat1967 Mon 02-Dec-13 12:53:13

Afternoon. Just popped on to wish Trice good luck for this afternoon.

I'm off to get my picc line removed this afternoon - today is the first day that I feel on the up - still got loads of SEs but less then yesterday grin. Was strangely relaxed last night and had a terrific night's sleep.

After the picc line removal my DS is having 2 in-growing toe nails cut down - he has put up with terrible pain since August so this is going to be a huge relief for him when it is done. Am taking my DM with me for moral support as I'm a bit squeemey on nails and as I am still knackered I don't want to take it out on DS when he needs support.
So a busy afternoon but will be great when everything is done.

Good luck this afternoon trice x

UKsounding Mon 02-Dec-13 14:42:14

Everything crossed for you Trice!

Marshy Mon 02-Dec-13 14:52:05

Just popping on to say good luck to trice.

Am Christmas shopping. It's a bit of a slog and my boob is aching though not sure how it can be as it's mostly silicone!

malteserzz Mon 02-Dec-13 15:02:09

Good luck trice
Have been shopping and am knackered but can tell I'm getting less tired each day which is good
Got home to a doctors letter, hate seeing everything in black and white as it always makes it seem worse

Bought a chocolate chip pannetonne from morrisons to try !

Tiny100 Mon 02-Dec-13 15:38:26

Ruby - I have only just got round to reading your post about genetic testing - thanks for sharing. I have made up my mind to go for it and rang up Onc's secretary today to get the ball rolling. I think the results will help me make a more informed and confident decision when it comes to surgery.

Welcome to Wren and Patti, sorry you find yourself here.

Those doctor's letters keep me awake at night Malt, there is definitly something in seeing everything in black and white. I love the re-cap on how hysterical emotional I have got at the clinic! Let us know how you get on with the pannetonne.

Hope everyone else is doing okay?

weebarra Mon 02-Dec-13 16:27:46

Good luck today trice.
Got my genetics letter through today confirming BRCA2, need to get it copied and sent to my sis and cousin.
Feeling seriously crappy, 3 snottery DCs, DH and me. Braved the school run in headscarf, just feels more comfy than wig. One of DS1's friends asked if I was a pirate smile.

Tiny100 Mon 02-Dec-13 17:06:00

Look after yourself Wee, just after chemo is when you are most likely to pick up an infection.

Did your sis and cousin want to know your results? I haven't told either of my sisters what I am doing just yet, thought I would wait for the results to decide whether to worry them or not.

malteserzz Mon 02-Dec-13 17:31:22

Kitkat hope the picc line removal and toenails went ok. Must be a huge relief to get rid of your picc line I didn't realise till I saw your pic how big they were

Wee look after yourself, hope you said that you were a pirate grin

Tiny the panettone is gorgeous thought it might be dry but it's not at all, the kids really like it too

kitkat1967 Mon 02-Dec-13 17:57:28

hello all. Picc line removal was quick and painless - toe nail surgery on the other hand was a massive drama and nearly called off. Anyway we finally got it done and DS is reclining on the sofa milking it big time. I do hope he calms down soon wink.

Ah, your poor DS Kitkat. I can only imagine the drama in our house if either of my DDs needed to get that done.

Tiny100 Mon 02-Dec-13 20:05:11

Choc chip one sounds nice, may have to give pannettone a second chance. I quite liked Wee's suggestion of making it into a posh bread and butter pudding.

Glad the picc line removal went well KitKat, shame it wasn't two out of two with your son's toe nails!

I am having tingling lips - must be a chemo side effect, still it is better than sickness.

trice Mon 02-Dec-13 20:43:40

Thanks for the support guys. All done and dusted. I had a really nice nurse this time around. She was good on the small talk. She asked for the results to be urgent so I get them on Monday. I hope they look better than they did.

, Kit kat, your poor Ds, toenails can be really sore!

kitkat1967 Mon 02-Dec-13 20:53:07

Quick update to say that DS is happily recliing on the sofa being waited on - all horrors of the Op itself forgotten!

Wren48 Mon 02-Dec-13 21:08:35

Great that the CT scan is sorted, trice. Really good luck for the results. I think I'm having a CT scan soon myself. Does anyone know when they choose to do a CT scan and when a PET scan? Got a rather vague answer from my surgeon (I don't think they've got a PET scanner so perhaps she didn't want me getting ideas).

Tiny100 Mon 02-Dec-13 21:55:04

I have had an MRI, CT and bone scan Wren, but not a PET - this was to check where else the cancer was apart from my boob.

I am due to have another MRI scan next week, so they can see if the chemo is working and shrinking my tumour.

Tiny100 Mon 02-Dec-13 21:57:09

Pleased your getting your results quickly Trice, the waiting part is definitly the worse.

malteserzz Tue 03-Dec-13 08:11:20

Morning everyone smile

kitkat1967 Tue 03-Dec-13 09:15:02

Morning Malt.
Been busy here already as I had to go to the Drs to get a fasting glucose test done - enjoying breakfast now smile.
DS is up and has no toe pain so good news on that front - back to school for him tomorrow wink but today he can stay on the sofa.

I'm still finding it strange that treatment is over (would have been bloods today) but am oddly calm and relaxed - keenly waiting for my taste buds to return to normal.
Oh and weighed myself this morning and am about 10 pounds lighter than at diagnosis - good news for me as although I'm not overweight a few pounds less does help - now got to keep it off when I start Tamoxifen hmm.

reallyreallyworried Tue 03-Dec-13 10:00:52

Morning all

trice glad the scan went okay. Fingers firmly crossed for good results x

kitkat pleased your PICC line has been removed, mine goes in tomorrow hmm Also glad your DS is doing okay. Although I am sure he will milk it for a few more days he is male, after all

malt nice to see you starting the day with a smile fsmile

Hi to everyone else.

I survived all the school runs yesterday in my headscarf! A couple of people gave me an odd look, but then everything carried on as normal smile So I think the hair loss hurdle is over for me. I am now pleased that I didn't go down the cold cap route! I didn't feel it was right for me, and now I feel so relaxed about the hair loss. I can see that thankfully it was the right decision.

So my last day of normality! Back to the hospital tomorrow for bloods, Oncologist appointment and PICC line being put in!! Then hopefully dose 2 on Thursday! Then I'm a third of the way through fgrin

Right back to work for me! Cuppa break finished!

Hope everyone has a great day! Xxxxx

foofooyeah Tue 03-Dec-13 14:48:05

Afternoon all.

Not having a great day: my chemo anxiety and DP on 12 hours nights is not a good combination.

really the cold cap. Its a bug bear of mine. I have worn it for the last 4 sessions and have kept my hair, but it really hurt last time and not sure I can do it tomorrow, but kind of feel I have come this far .... They now have the new plug in ones so will see if I can use one of them and see if its better.

Forgot to get bloods done yesterday, finally remembered at lunchtime today, so hope results are there for tomorrow.

kitkat1967 Tue 03-Dec-13 16:21:16

blimey foo I can't believe you are about to have chemo number 5. You have my sympathy for the cold cap - I did 3 in the summer and it was absolutely th worst part. Are you getting decent results with it? If so try to hang in - as I was so anxious about it my onc prescribed a sedative prior to chemo number 4 (which I then didn't have as it happens) - would that be an option for you? Oh and I had the plug in version sad.
In fact even writting about it is making me feel nauseous shock

malteserzz Tue 03-Dec-13 16:51:12

Foo foo it would be a shame if you didn't do the cold cap now especially as it's working so well for you. I didn't find it too bad but then again it didn't really work for me so maybe it wasn't cold enough

Really I hope you have had a good day at work and glad that you survived the school run

KitKat 10 lb lighter is great I dread to think how much I have put on !

Had a lazy day today not done a lot I've got to go to the hospital tomorrow for my pre-op assessments

Gigondas Tue 03-Dec-13 17:41:27

Pre op tomorrow malt- is op for nexte week? I have second lot of chemo tomorrow and also have cold cap ( mine is plug in type). Did any of you lose some hair - I am losing some ( not hand fills) on one side. But I suppose can't complain as ok generally.

If I do lose it I am of the scarf more than wig school tho may feel differently as it's winter so wig won't feel so hot.

Just seen lovely pigeons with her dog- I think big gig is in love.

foofooyeah Tue 03-Dec-13 18:10:03

I know. I still have a full head of greying hair so should really carry on. Will just see how t goes tomorrow ... And yes kitkat that nauseous feeling bleugh

foofooyeah Tue 03-Dec-13 18:12:15

malt I am dozy as hell, what op are you having?

And Gigs how lovely for you to see pigeons

malteserzz Tue 03-Dec-13 18:16:42

I'm having a node clearance on Monday hmm nervous about the op and if I have to stay in never spent the night in hospital before and also nervous of coming home with drains. More worried about the results though and how many are affected as if lots they will have to do further checks for spread hmmhmm

Glad you got to see pigeons gigs

kitkat1967 Tue 03-Dec-13 18:35:52

Gigs - i lost lots but still had enough that if I wore a small bandana it looked like I had all my hair. Funilly enough i didn't cold cap for 2nd lot of chemo and still have a fair covering - mind you I also have eyebrows and eye lashes so maybe my hair is tough!!

oh Malt I didn't realise you may have to have further tests - will keep my fingers crossed for you as you don't want any bad news at this point. (Most of us seem to go through the scan anxiety up front but you do seem to be doing your own thing!!).

malteserzz Tue 03-Dec-13 18:54:01

Yes think my hospital is unique !

reallyreallyworried Tue 03-Dec-13 19:30:24


Now to go and calm down! Sorry all, needed to do that! Xxxx

foofooyeah Tue 03-Dec-13 19:35:33

Are you ok really

malteserzz Tue 03-Dec-13 19:49:09

What's up really hope it's nothing too bad
Would wine help ? Or a cuppa and a chocolate biscuit ? X

weebarra Tue 03-Dec-13 19:53:53

Hope you're ok really, that yell sounded cross! This cold has really hit me, I feel seriously shite but on anti+bs anyway, and temp is ok.
I got some cap things from anna bandana today, pleased with them.
Hope you're feeling ok pre-op malts.

reallyreallyworried Tue 03-Dec-13 20:28:25

Sorry ladies! Wasn't a good end to my day. Been doing my best at work (so I thought) tried my best to work appointments round work, giving as much notice as I could ect! For example tomorrow after seeing Oncologist and having line fitted I will go straight back to work.

Today my charge is playing on the iPad while I made their supper. He came in and told me it was wrong! He had gone into my bosses emails and as I go to switch it back to his game, I see the sentence 'that is so annoying of really' and the thing that was so annoying! I have asked to go down to a 4 day week!! I thought considering what the f**k I'm going through that wasn't so much to ask!

Just feeling like a failure and that I'm letting them down, when I am trying my hardest to keep things normal for them and the children! They have been so good saying they will do what they can to help, but now I just feel that what they say to my face isn't what they are really thinking sad

Feel free to tell me that I am totally overreacting!

Shootingatpigeons Tue 03-Dec-13 21:23:33

It was great to see gigs too especially looking so well on it, I am sure I didn't look as well on chemo. But please do warn big gigs he is a player! complete tart, in fact was that the beginnings of a bromance with Mr gigs? wink Also I think there is definitely mileage in threatening * little gigs * with a night in goondogs kennel when she next tries the nighttime partying.....

Oh really I think you have to remember that was not meant for your eyes. I always appreciated that my Nannies were human beings and enabled me to work but that doesn't stop it being frustrating that sometimes you have two sets of human needs and responsibilities sabotaging your ability to do your job on the same playing field as single colleagues or those with a SAHP. In fact the email may have been a defence against a work colleague who didn't understand what your boss has to accommodate in terms of child care responsibilities, let alone your needs. It is also a added worry to have to work up arrangements that cover every eventuality. The important thing is to keep the lines of communication open. It is of course entirely reasonable for you to pace yourself, and from what you have said you have been more than accommodating of their needs, so make sure you discuss it all fully and then just carry on as agreed.

foofooyeah Tue 03-Dec-13 21:30:46

No your not over reacting. I think you are doing well to carry on working at all. I know I am working but its only 4 hours a day from home, and my bcn wasn't even that keen on me doing that.

Do you have to work? I think you said you preferred to work? Maybe it's time for a frank and open talk with them.

Maybe it's not you that's annoying, but them trying to work round the disruption, its sounds selfish to me but perhaps they were just venting.

malteserzz Tue 03-Dec-13 21:52:32

Really that would have annoyed me too especially when you are doing well to be carrying on with work at all
However I know you've said before that you get on well with them and if you only saw a bit of the e mail is it possible that you've taken it out of context ? What are you going to do, mention it or leave it ?

Gigondas Tue 03-Dec-13 22:44:13

Thanks for hair stories. Was lovely to see pigeons and you are right that mr gigs was a big fan (most of the can we have a dog talk from him not big gigs). I think goondog would herdlook after mini most carefully in the kennel wink.

Really -pigeons speaks a lot of sense especially about the not for your eyes. Fwiw it's hard as a mb as you want to do right thing as an employer but it's emotive at times as you are so reliant on one person for childcare. Try to put it to one side and focus on tomorrow.

If it's really still bugging you , then maybe sit down again and clear the air about expectations on both sides . You don't need this nagging at you now.

Also I know you love your charges but do you have to work? I know you wanted to but as chemo kicks in ,maybe think on what's best for you (remember you have legal protection with cancer). What you don't need is any stress at all lovely.

Gigondas Tue 03-Dec-13 22:47:55

I say this as I was on the other side last chemo-our last nanny kept crying on me or getting upset that " I hated her "or she could do nothing right" (one memorable time when I had crept Into kitchen to get tea feeling like shit as avoided kitchen if she was In it hence why I ended up seeing a dietician). She resigned before we had to think about getting rid.

She was a good nanny so still see her but looking back should have acted quicker before relationship got to place it dud.

reallyreallyworried Wed 04-Dec-13 07:07:46

Thanks ladies for all the comments. In answer to one question yes I do need to work! Surviving on SSP isn't really an option! Plus I would have to move home with my parents and change hospitals etc etc all stuff that I would rather avoid IF I can.

I think the problem is I have NEVER asked for time off or not been able to cover all the extra hours they have asked me to do! Although I still cover their extra now, so I know I am not letting them down! I think I was just shocked that they could say that, especially when I am trying so hard! I would happily have treatment on a weekend, so it didn't affect them. But obviously that isn't an option.

I know what you mean about that not being something I should of seen, and that I didn't read it all so I don't know what context it was written. I think I was really angry because I was also tired and worried about todays appointment. I still have a cough and slight cold, and now I am worried that IF I'm not well enough for next dose, that will cause more issues!! Oh well will keep my fingers crossed.

I can only do my best, and I'm sure if they were really annoyed with me then they would tell me I need to take sick leave! I did tell them right at the start that if me working made their lives harder they only had to say.

Let's hope today is a calmer day! Thanks xxxxx

Gigondas Wed 04-Dec-13 08:16:57

Really- you have been as straight as you can so cant do more. And if you have heard nothing sounds like they are just letting off steam and you will be ok.

Hope cold gets better but I think you will be ok if temp etc ok - it's bloods will look at which shouldn't be bad if no fever and you aren't really ill.

Wren48 Wed 04-Dec-13 08:47:25

Anyone working past a cancer diagnosis has my huge unfailing and lasting respect. I stopped work very soon. What's more my husband (self employed, but still) has virtually not done a stroke either. Not such a good idea, that.

really that would have upset me too, even if completely fit and well, and it's much harder to cope with stuff when not 100%. It could be good to sit down with them and talk through all the stuff you're going through as it sounds like they haven't fully understood or appreciated how lucky they are. Working parents can sometimes be selfish and focused on their own needs because they're feeling busy and hassled (describing myself here, not anyone else!). I've always been a much better employer when I've taken the time to listen to what someone is facing in their own life.

kitkat1967 Wed 04-Dec-13 09:15:32

Really - I am another one who is amazed that you have been able to continue work (I know I am but I'm another WFH person) but I agree with Gigs that childcare is such an emotive subject. I had a nanny(s) for years and nanny reliability was a continuous concern but the relationship is so different to any other employee/employer relationship.
I am another one who was guilty of not discussing things early enough but it is really hard. It may be that your employers are just worried about you will manage - I expect they have little knowledge of chemo etc.

kitkat1967 Wed 04-Dec-13 13:50:23

grrr..... my itchy rash is getting worse and now covers all my legs plus my hands and wrists. So popped in to see chemo nurse to ask if it chemo related and she said maybe not so see your GP -just got an appt for 8th Jan shock - yes that's right I am slowly getting covered in the most infuriating rash and I can see someone in a month. Anyway I took the appt (to be bloody minded and in case I do need to see a Dr in Jan wink).
Thank goodness my treatment has all been private as I'd have no luck otherwise. (BTW - I am on various other meds recently prescribed by GP that have itchy rash as a side-effect so it could be casued by something other than chemo).
I am so infuriated as in 6 months of treatment I have been 'allowed' to see the GP once - the cancer, diabetes and high BP are not serious enough to get an appt apparently. Although last time the receptionist asked if she could help me hmm.

malteserzz Wed 04-Dec-13 16:07:24

Kitkat sorry about your rash, that's shocking about your gp appointment ! Here you ring in the morning and get an appointment the same day no questions asked

I've been for my pre op this afternoon, heart rate was slightly high but she said that be because I was anxious. Weight was very high hmm but she said not to worry have a good Christmas then try and eat healthily after that. If my op is early on Monday and everything goes ok then hopefully I can come home that day smile
Talked about the drain and she said I could shower which I didn't realise.

Hope everyone's having a good day, gigs have you bought a dog yet ?!
Really hope work was ok today

kitkat1967 Wed 04-Dec-13 17:27:28

well done Malt - good news that you might be home the same day. Are you likely to have to start Rads before Xmas or will that be something for January?

malteserzz Wed 04-Dec-13 17:40:45

Thanks Kitkat I think it will be January as they said they like you to be completely healed first

foofooyeah Wed 04-Dec-13 18:45:34

Evening all,

Kitkat, that appt in January s jst a joke. You need to call back tomorrow and say you need an urgent appt as a possible side effect of cancer.

My.chemo today was horrid. Cold cap horrid. Came home and went straight to bed. Only one more thank goodness.

reallyreallyworried Wed 04-Dec-13 19:47:56

Hi all

What a day sad saw oncologist 'dishy doc' and actually went in early!! That shocked me! He was very sweet and we had a good chat. Then he spoilt it by telling me that I would have dose 3 either just before Christmas or just after sad Chemo nurse had said they would avoid the Christmas week! So now I really don't know what's going to happen!

Sadly the day went downhill from there! I went on to see the nurse about having my PICC line fitted. So first step is they need to find the nurse?? So I sit and wait in the day room for half an hour! Then I get called in. I read leaflet, have blood pressure and temp done. Then I lie on the bed. Nurse goes to get the ultrasound machine! It's being used elsewhere. 30mins later, she finally comes back, and leaves me with a male nurse. Nice chap! Told me what to expect! Then........

Goodness knows how many attempts it took, but 1.5hrs later, he decides that the line won't go in sad my arm was soooooooo sore and bruised. He said I had a couple of good veins but for some reason the line wouldn't go in. He said I could have some lunch and a drink and then he could try again, or we could try again in the morning before my next dose of Chemo.

So tomorrow morning I have to go though all that again before dose 2 of the Chemo sad I wasn't bothered about going in for the Chemo, but the thought of him doing that again on top of an already sore arm, isn't making me feel relaxed sad

As for yesterdays issues. I have asked my bosses to tell me what would suit them best! If they want me to stop working because it's too much hassle then they only have to say. They immediately said no that's not what they want. So we are going to sit and chat one evening next week.

So that's my rubbish day!

kitkat sorry to hear about your rash. That sounds awful. Hope you get it sorted soon.

foofoo sorry to hear you are feeling rough! But just one to go is definitely the best way of looking at it!

malt glad your pre op went well. I'd love to meet someone whose heart rate doesn't rise when they go into hospital smile

Hope everyone has a pleasant evening xxxx

Wren48 Wed 04-Dec-13 20:02:43

That sounds like a miserable bunch of things to cope with in one day, really. Hope tomorrow goes much more smoothly.

And today my oncologist tells me that I'm much more likely to put on weight through chemo than to lose it. How unfair is that? The expectation of losing weight was the only plus I had. I realise that this may not be news to others here...

Now buying Christmas craft stuff online with dd. Day is looking up...

Gigondas Wed 04-Dec-13 20:15:09

Boo to the bad days . Hope you feel ok tomorrow really- the bruising is vile as had that on one of my line attempts.

Wren I didn't put weight on tho was told same and is staying stable now.

Chemo and cold cap ok tho feel a bit tired as was long old session.

Gigondas Wed 04-Dec-13 20:16:13

Kitkat that is pisspoor - I would ring again and big up the c word.

kitkat1967 Wed 04-Dec-13 20:17:34

ah Wren - I think it's the steroids that cause weight gain (they certainly make me eat!!) but there really isn't any hard and fast rule - either way it's not the time to worry about it.

Really - what an awful day and now you have a repeat performance to look forward to tomorrow. Have you only got the 1 arm that can be used? And boo hoo to having to have chemo on xmas week - would you have gone home that week if you could?

well done foo - now you will have to have the cold cap next time as it's your final go!! Hopefully you won't get hit too hard by SEs over the next few days.

kitkat1967 Wed 04-Dec-13 20:21:36

Gigs - the itching is awful at the moment and the rash is all over my legs. I think it is a SE to the blood pressure meds that the GP prescribed as it started about 2 days after taking them and it is getting worse not better now that chemo is over. I will ring tomorrow am to see if I can get an 'emergency' appt but I've failed the last few times I tried that.
Also well done to you for getting another chemo ticked off. Is the cold cap working for so far?

malteserzz Wed 04-Dec-13 20:36:48

Wren not everyone puts on weight mine is all my own fault for sitting on my bum too much and thinking Ive got sodding cancer I will eat chocolate and drink wine if I want to grin

Gigs glad that's another chemo done

Really sorry to hear about your day, hope if goes more smoothly tomorrow

Kitkat you do really need to get it seen i hope you get an appointment

Foo foo sorry it was tough hope you don't get too many side effects

Sounds like everyone's having a bad time, lots of love from me. Tomorrow is another day and hopefully will be better smile

reallyreallyworried Wed 04-Dec-13 20:44:17

kitkat yes I was planning on going home to my parents the Friday before Christmas! So feeling a bit fed up about that. But that's life. I will chat with Chemo staff tomorrow and see what they suggest.

Right now I'm too busy worrying about the PICC line! Xx

trice Wed 04-Dec-13 21:14:13

Sorry to hear about itching Kitkat, it really is an annoying side effect. If your surgery is so dreadful have you thought of changing? A new one could hardly be worse.

I have to get up early in the morning to go to the school Christmas fair. It opens at 8 am. Is that too early for a mince pie? Dd has baked a chocolate log which I will have to buy.

Looking forward to tomorrow though as I am going out for dinner with friends. There will be cocktails, I am a lightweight and will probably need carrying home.

malteserzz Wed 04-Dec-13 21:55:47

Christmas fair at 8am blimey !

kitkat1967 Wed 04-Dec-13 22:03:30

blimey Trice 8am is a bit too early for an Xmas Fair - good luck with that one fshock

reallyreallyworried Thu 05-Dec-13 03:51:31

Can't sleep! Arm is sore! I'm dreading having to go through that again sad

Officially feeling very scared sorry for myself sad

Have fun at the Christmas Fair trice xx

malteserzz Thu 05-Dec-13 07:48:37

Hope you got some sleep really and that today goes ok, will be thinking about you x

Gigondas Thu 05-Dec-13 08:19:00

Make sure you drink lots and wrap up warm. Warm hydrated veins easier to poke. Also try to get some happy thoughts to focus on - breath deep and shut eyes when they start. Know it's hard but less tense you are , the better.

Also if it's too hurty on that arm use the other. I had 3 lines due to infection and it is ok to use in your dominant arm.

Lots of luck.

Didn't sleep too badly (about midnight) and feeling ok this morning- definitely steroids tho my bloods weren't too bad so not hit my low yet. Also tax dose for me is only minivan not truck strength as it's a mixer rather than single dose.

malteserzz Thu 05-Dec-13 08:42:04

Morning gigs glad you're feeling ok
I didn't have a picc line and had lots of sympathy from the blood lady at the hospital yesterday for the state of my veins, one is really hard
If really has had the sentinel node biopsy she'll only be able to use the other arm

So windy here today and dh got in about 12 last night so I'm back in bed for a bit

Morning all,
I've ended up in hospital with low WBC count. Turns out that is reason I felt so dreadful with my 'cold'.
Was admitted through A&E on Tue afternoon. Sounds like I'll to stay until tomorrow.

I never realized it would mean a several day stay! I had to send DH home to pack a bag. We missed a few critical items, and only one of the three PJs is suitable (I can mix/match to get a second pair). And

Lesson to all newbies (and to myself), pack a hospital bag to have ready, just in case!

Really, good luck today with PICC and chemo. My second cycle was even a little easier than the first. Hope it is that way for you too.

Wren, I have lost weigh on chemo. Because now I only drink wine 4 days in every three week rather than 4 per week. And yucky taste buds in week and half after chemo means that chocolate tastes unpleasant.

mintymellons Thu 05-Dec-13 11:32:40

Hello all

Would it be okay if I pop over here for a while?

To cut a long story short, I've got a GP apt tomorrow. It's a follow up from a previous one. I found a lump/bump/thing in my right breast about three and a half weeks ago. Saw a GP immediately who said he couldn't feel it and sent me packing. I then went back as I was still concerned, saw another GP who said she thought the thing I could feel was normal tissue, but to get it rechecked in 3 to 5 weeks time. It's now three weeks since I saw her and I'm going back tomorrow for the follow up.

The thing is still there. I have very small breasts and the lump is difficult to find. When I do locate it, it feels like a sort of bumpy area with what I think is a more specific lump (soft and seems to 'disappear' when pushed down).

I first noticed it about a week before my last period. I had some tenderness in that breast (I get this occasionally, so wasn't concerned) and when I went to touch it, I happened across this lumpy thing. The tenderness subsided with my period, but the lump remains.

Sorry to hijack your thread, but I figured that you've all 'been there' and might be able to help me put this into some sort of perspective!


Marshy Thu 05-Dec-13 11:49:54

Hi Minty,

Just a quick response to your post from me, as it's a bit quiet here this morning.
I don't have much experience of lumps as my problem took a different form, but I would say that if you are concerned, you should ask your GP about referral to the breast clinic. They will do a mammogram and other tests as necessary which will hopefully put your mind at rest. Most lumps and bumps are nothing to be concerned about and it's highly likely that yours falls into that category, but you are sensible to get it checked out if you are worried.
Hopefully other ladies will be along shortly to give you their thoughts.

Sorry so many having a tough time at the moment. momof2 hope you home soon and really that your day is going ok. Kitkat I have started relying on phone consultations with my gp as can never get an appointment - not much help for a rash though!

Best wishes to everyone

mintymellons Thu 05-Dec-13 11:53:23

Thank you Marshy.
This seems like a very positive thread. There's nothing like the support of others.

BetsyBoop Thu 05-Dec-13 12:01:22

hi minty - I would suggest you ask your GP for a referral to the breast clinic for a mammogram. It is most probably nothing, but the only way you are going to stop worrying about it is to get it checked out. You should be able to get an appointment with the breast clinic within two weeks.

really - yesterday sounded grim (I would have most definitely fainted!) - I hope the attempt today goes better and chemo is okay

kitkat - hope you get to see the GP - I agree with playing the "it could be a skin infection and I have had cancer you know" card grin

mom - hope you are feeling better soon and escape home (I had a bag packed all the way thorugh chemo, just in case!)

malt - glad your preop went well and hopefully you get home on Monday, so that's good smile

trice - 8am school fair shock that's mad (don't think I could cope with that many excited children so early grin How are you feeling now after your op?

<waves> to all

I had my first radiology appointment this morning and am also now the proud owner of my first box of tgamoxifen grin Now it's just waiting for planning appointment which he said is most likely after Christmas.

Am feeling rather fed up as it's looking increasingly likely that DH will have to work away M-F in the new year (either that or be made redundant sad ) Just when I can see a point when things might start returning to normal and now this....He's been such a riock and has picked up the lion's share of stuff at home when I've been tired/unwell. I feel exhausted just thinking how I'll cope with everything on my own while going back to work and also trying to recover from treatment... sad Never mind any opportunity for me to be able go back to choir, go to the gym etc... grrr

BetsyBoop Thu 05-Dec-13 12:09:49

x-post with marshy, but we concur smile

mintymellons Thu 05-Dec-13 12:15:46

You're kind to reassure me when clearly dealing with your own problems, Betsy. Thank you. I will ask for a referral if it isn't offered.

malteserzz Thu 05-Dec-13 12:52:10

Minty I replied to you on your other post, hope you get a referral and some reassurance

Betsy that is a pain sad dh used to work away and it is hard though you do find your way through it. He didn't like it either though sometimes he'd ring from his hotel and say he was going out for dinner etc and I'd feel quite envious!

Mom of 2 sorry you have ended up in hospital I hope you get to come home soon x

mintymellons Thu 05-Dec-13 12:55:40

Malteserz thank you, you did reply on my other thread. I'm such a worry wart. Feel a bit of a fraud posting in ths thread without any real reason.

Wren48 Thu 05-Dec-13 13:10:45

Hi Minty just to say that I agree with what others have said. Most lumps really are nothing to worry about, but they are worth getting checked - it's not as if it's complicated to refer you on for a mammogram. You're the expert on your breasts, so if you can feel something extra the GP needs to take that seriously.

BetsyBoop Thu 05-Dec-13 13:28:48

my DH used to work away before too malt, but he's been home for nearly four years and I've kinda got used to it. It's also nice to have the option to do things in the evening, it's such a pain having to find a babysitter every time and it rules out any regular activities...Fingers very crossed it doesn't come to this.

malteserzz Thu 05-Dec-13 14:47:29

I will keep my fingers crossed for you Betsy smile
Wish this wind would drop a bit I'm going to ds cubs presentation tonight and I hate going out in my wig in the wind

reallyreallyworried Thu 05-Dec-13 14:53:02

Hi all

Thanks for listening to my moaning over the last few days! Today has been a much better day, so far fgrin Just got back to house after 2nd dose! So I am now a third of the way through fgrin

PICC line finally went in! Although nurse decided that the only thing left to try was to find the vein without a local anaesthetic OUCH! But it worked. I'm not sure who was happier, him or me! Then I had my fingers firmly crossed that it was in the right place. It did need adjusting slightly, but that was a breeze compared to getting it in!

Chemo was much easier through the line, so at least I saw a positive. Although I was surprised to be told that the people who specialise in taking blood, can't take it through the line?? Because they aren't trained! It has to be a nurse! Just hoping the nurse is around next time I need bloods taking!

One other thing, did any of you find that side effects came quicker on your second dose? I already have a foul taste in my mouth. Last time I didn't get that till day 2!

Anyway I will leave you in peace. Hope you are all okay. I will try and catch up properly in a bit. Xxxxxx

malteserzz Thu 05-Dec-13 15:28:58

Really I'm so glad that today was a better day for you smile
I don't think my symptoms came on sooner each time I think it was more that they took longer to go but everyone is different
Hope you've got your feet up now x

Just watching the news the storm looks terrible in some places. Everyone stay safe

I'm still in hospital. Both my white and red cell are low today. They are going to give me a few units of blood. I will be given injection after next chemo so can hopefully avoid this next cycle. Which would be horrible - Xmas week.

really my SE seem to differ in timing each cycle. Hopefully this means it gets back to normal faster too.

Shootingatpigeons Thu 05-Dec-13 16:36:37

mom I haven't said anything thus far but I had AC and it really is notorious for affecting blood counts, all my friends who had it had exactly the same experience, and we all had delays to treatment . I have been interested in how much more humane the EC/Tax regime that seems to be normal here now has been for those who have had it on here. However it must work in spite of the low blood counts and delays, because we are all still here 12 years later! Once I had the injections I kept out of hospital, though it was a long haul getting my counts up again for each next treatment.

Waves to allxxx

weebarra Thu 05-Dec-13 16:36:48

mom, hope you're feeling better soon, really - glad the line and chemo went ok today, hope everyone else is holding up!
Blowing a serious gale here in Scotland today. Had to take DS1 to an eye check up, poor lad was getting practically carrier through the hail by the wind.
My cold is still a cold and I'm a bit wheezy but think I've passed the lowest bit of this cycle (touch wood!).
Have an appt with Mrs Onc this evening, my first since chemo started, don't really know what to expect.

kitkat1967 Thu 05-Dec-13 18:26:01


Glad you had a sucessful day Really. I also didn't notice SEs coming on any sooner - maybe you're a bit more aware this time.

sorry you're still in hospital Mum - but hopefully they can avoid this for you in future cycles.

good luck with the onc Weebarra - if you're doing neo-adjuvant chemo he/she will probably want a prod, if not it will be just a chat I expect.

malt - i had a slight concern about my wig when out and about today but it's been OK so far wink.

I got a Drs appt (or so I thought) but it turned out to be only a nurse. Anyhow I have cream for my rash and had to go to hospital for a chest x-ray as I still have the tight feeling round my ribs and she said i was very breathless. Had a comedy moment at the x-ray as the radiographer asked me if I had a sticker on me hmm - so i looked at the picture and realised it was the valve on my implant. So all OK until I said (in a panic) 'what is that though' - and guess what it - was my heart!! which apparently looked lovely.
Funnily enough I feel better now - perhaps I just needed some reasurrance. Glucose still high though so have another fasting test on Tuesday.
Off out to DDs school xmas concert in mo (which will last for hours as her school does a lot of music).

Gigondas Thu 05-Dec-13 21:02:16

Mom those injections are great at WBC boost. The blood units will lift your red count ( I had quite a few units last time). it's just a pity they keep you in while sort it but better to do it.

Really glad you got picc in the end. I think there was slight variation on se but not huge last time. Seem to be about same this time save fever.

Kitkat am still hmm at your Gp but glad you saw someone . Enjoy the concert -big gig is next week so we are getting snippets.

Mini has bit of cold/upset tummy so hope am spared.

Back to I am a celeb -some of them need to get a grip ( Amy/Alfonso hmm).

Gigondas Thu 05-Dec-13 21:03:18

Pigeons I blame you for mr gig and the dog obsession. Was sending links to rescue collies yesterday. Have to have reality discussion.

Pigeons, thats reassuring! I have only one more AC to do, then it's over to Taxol for me.

Blood was not ready on time to do it today, will now be tomorrow morning. Hope that doesn't scupper my chances if getting out of here tomorrow.

Kitkat, hope you enjoyed the show. I missed my Dds. School show last night and tonight. They did Wizard of Oz. DH said it was way too long,but texted me loads of great pics. School makes a DVD to sell to parents, so I can look forward to that.

Shootingatpigeons Fri 06-Dec-13 08:21:59

gigs Sorry! yes, emphasise goondog was on best behaviour because not on home territory, I think little gigs probably all the hyperactive toddler you need at the moment without a border collie.

mom hope you break out today, if not I can send around goondog as he is good at tunneling".........

malteserzz Fri 06-Dec-13 08:49:57

Morning all
Mom hope you get out of hospital today
Kitkat hope the concert was good and not too long !
Shooting hope you're ok

Had a lovely nigh at ds cubs presentation so don't know why I had such a bad nights sleep, it's all highs and lows isn't it. It's his school decorations morning but couldn't face everyone and all the Christmas excitement so grandma has gone instead

Hope everyone has a good day smile

reallyreallyworried Fri 06-Dec-13 10:15:57

Morning all

I am back at work after my day off full of hospital poking, prodding and drugging! Came down to two very excited children, who wanted to show me the tree they bought and decorated yesterday! fgrin I love being around children at this time of year! Even if they are germ ridden blighters! I was thinking of getting a bio hazard suit! Do you think that would get a few funny looks fgrin

mom sorry to hear that you are having a rough time. I hope you can escape today! Xx

gigs collies are beautiful dogs, but they can be a handful. The ones I have known have been like seriously hyperactive toddlers! So good luck with that one! Xx

malt glad you had a lovely evening. As for sleeping I find that some nights I sleep soundly and right through, and some nights I just can't stay asleep! I don't really think there is much we can do about it! Hopefully we'll all get back to 'normal' whatever that is! Hope you have a nice day xx

kitkat glad you got some cream, I hope it helped. I couldn't help laughing at your radiographer asking if you had a sticker?! That's not something you get asked too often fsmile Hope you had a nice time at the Christmas Concert. My 2 charges had their nativity plays yesterday. I was sad to miss them, but really looking forward to seeing the DVD.

Hi to everyone else. Hope everyone is busy doing fun Christmas things, or sat snuggled up by the fire. Have a good day all.


foofooyeah Fri 06-Dec-13 15:01:46

mom sorry to hear you are in hospital,sending you good blood thoughts.

really glad you got sorted with the picc line, you sound a bit brighter.

Big wave to all others.

Was supposed to be out for lunch today but cancelled as just too tried and nauseous. Need some more carbs soon though so may get dressed and go and buy something suitably unhealthy.

malteserzz Fri 06-Dec-13 17:02:21

Quiet today !
Shame about your lunch foo foo but hope you managed to eat something
Really hope you had a good day at work, do you get the weekends off ?

reallyreallyworried Fri 06-Dec-13 17:37:55

Hi malt yes I have just finished for the weekend. Snuggled up in front of the tv! Planning on an early night. Its been a good day, but my bed is looking very inviting already!

Hope you had a good day. Xx

I'm still I'm hospital. Bloods went further down. Seems it will be Sunday or Monday before I can expect to be released. I must first get bloods to required levels and then maintain them there for 24 hours.
I feel sorry for DH, it is hectic time with all DDs hobbies, and he is very busy at work too. Top that off with no family locally, so he is trying to fit in hospital visits, etc as well.

malteserzz Fri 06-Dec-13 18:02:37

Enjoy the rest really

Mom sorry to hear that do you feel poorly ? I understand you feel bad for dh but he will manage and you would do the same for him. It's very hard but out of your control. Fingers crossed that you can escape soon

kitkat1967 Fri 06-Dec-13 18:14:50

sorry to hear you're not improving Mom - do you feel ill or is it just your bloods mis-behaving. Malt is right - your DH will manage - mine used to do next to nothing but as my 'bad' days were sat & sun he's had to get on with it for the last few months and everything has been fine.

well done for managing another day's work really - enjoy your weekend off.

I feel better today - have started to use the cream on my rash and my chest feels better. The nurse rang me today to ask how I was feeling so maybe I'm getting the gold star treatment now hmm. I am, however, fed up that I still have a horrible taste in my mouth - does anyone remember how long that lasts?
It's my birthday tomorrow and we have our town xmas fair so I'm lookimg forward to a nice day. Also DC's orchaestra has finished so no-one has to get up and rush out in the morning. Then going out for a meal with friends in the evening so I must not overdo it in the day!!

Thanks for all the good wishes.

Kitkat, I feel fine, just my bloody bloods.

On the plus side, I have just started reading first Game of Thrones. I'm watching season 3 on Sunday night's, going back and reading first book is explaining some stuff I didnt take in when I daw it on tv.

BetsyBoop Fri 06-Dec-13 22:15:53

mom - grrr - at this rate we will be digging you a tunnel, fingers crossed you are home soon.

kitkat - my funny taste buds only ever lasted a week or so, but if I remember correctly Lily's took a while to sort themselves out after tax. How is your peripheral neuropathy? Mine is still here and pretty bad at times... I'm still hoping it will eventually get better... BCN says it usually does but can take many months...

really - you are probably asleep already grin hope you sleep well.

Lilymaid Fri 06-Dec-13 22:43:32

Yes my taste buds are still not good 7+ weeks after last dose of Tax and the ends of my fingers/toes are still numb.
But DH says I am now doing far more than during chemo -even though I'm still frustrated at being tired and lacking energy.

BetsyBoop Fri 06-Dec-13 22:52:33

Lily ! <waves> my tax buddy smile, haven't seen you around for a bit. How are you doing - has the nausea eased off? How are your nails? I've got one that has lifted a bit now and another couple that look like they might. I've definitely got loads more energy now too, still not back to normal, but much better. smile

kitkat1967 Fri 06-Dec-13 23:46:44

Thanks both. Yep, still have numb fingers but it is on and off not all the time. I only really suffered with it in the last 4 cycles so onc thought there would not be any lasting effect. I also get a lot of tingly hands and feet feelings which is annoying.
Other then that I do have more energy - just not as much as I want/need. I def underestimated the recovery time. And to cap it all I have been nasseous today so back to eating stodge!!
Still like you guys it is done and I will get better, I just need to be more patient.
Betsy are you just developing nails problems now?

malteserzz Sat 07-Dec-13 10:05:16

Morning all
Lily I was thinking about you the other day and wondering how you were getting on smile

The lack of energy is annoying isn't it, I expected to bounce back quicker. Dh keeps reminding me how much my body has been through and that it's bound to take time
Does anyone else feel more sensitive to light too ? The other night when I was at ds cubs presentation I was tired and it was a bright room and it made me feel a bit strange. As soon as I came out of the room I was fine. Could that be the lack of eyelashes ?

Out for a curry with friends tonight smile

Kitkat hope you're having a lovely birthday smile

reallyreallyworried Sat 07-Dec-13 10:38:28

HAPPY BIRTHDAY kitkat hope you have a great day. cake wine thanks xx

Hope everyone has a great weekend xx

mom I hope you are out of hospital soon. It must be hard, but I'm sure your DH will cope xxxxx

Lilymaid Sat 07-Dec-13 10:48:29

I better do a quick update! I saw the Onc yesterday and he will see me again at the end of Jan when I will have been on Letrozole for 3 months. I'll have a scan just before I see him and he will then decide whether I should have radiotherapy or not. If the hormone pill has been very effective I might not need the rads.
Meanwhile DS1 has returned from t'other side of world with a spot of Delhi belly. In his first evening home he's already sorted out my techy problems with my iPhone and iPad. Next on list will be sorting out Bluetooth in my new car. Whether he can master our new induction hob and tumble drier is debatable! He is now even more sure that he doesn't want to return to work in the UK.
I'm still having problems on food - nausea, retching etc. I'm sure this is psychological and that although I've been very calm about cancer, my fears channel themselves into a problem with food. But - I still need to lose weight so I suppose that it is doing some good.

BetsyBoop Sat 07-Dec-13 11:54:14

lily - fingers crossed for good scan and no rads smile I hope your nausea eases soon I like my food too much for the nausea to last here!

kitkat - Happy Birthday smile Hope you have a good day.
Re nails - my nails went a bit yellow (think smokers nails) on FEC. Then on TAX I got a horizontal ridge for each cycle I'm turning into a tree Just in the last week or so the FEC bit of my nails has started looking odd. One has lifted a bit, a few more might lift. I'm just keeping them really short so I don't catch them. The good news only the FEC bit has lifted and I reckon another month or so that will have grown out anyway. smile I also have one very black big toe nail courtesy of tax. So far no sign of it falling off but the BCN said she'll refer me to a podiatrist if I have any problems with it as she's concerned about the risk of infection seeing as I can't actualy feel my toes...

malt - I've never been good with bright light anyway, but I can't say I've noticed a difference.

really - how are you doing today?

Well I woke up this morning with EYEBROWS! Still very short, but most definitely there. smile (My eyelashes started growing a while ago) And it looks like my hair might finally be starting to get going. I think it was gigs who said hers took until 8 weeks to properly get going, thank you for saying that I really stopped me worrying.

malteserzz Sat 07-Dec-13 12:27:10

Betsy great news about the eyelashes ! Hope mine grow soon I have about 4 on each side and a couple of eyelashes but that's all

I didn't lose all of my hair but it's growing but grey !

weebarra Sat 07-Dec-13 15:49:17

Happy birthday kitkat & congrats on the eyelashes betsy.
Appt with Mrs Onc went well, she had a feel and was pleased the tumours were shrinking.
Currently making xmas decs with DS1 who has a tummy bug, the wee love is being great with his hand hygiene, he knows that mummy doesn't want to get sick.

Lilymaid Sat 07-Dec-13 15:56:07

Betsy congrats on the return of eyebrows and lashes. My magnifying mirror has revealed the sad return of chin hair! So I need to rediscover my tweezers!

reallyreallyworried Sat 07-Dec-13 16:23:56

Betsy I'm doing okay thanks. Was in bed watching tv at 9 and asleep by 9.01 I think smile I did stir at 4.30 then dozed off again til 8.30 which is pretty good as I am on my steroid days!

Having a nice lazy day. Still in my PJ's. A friend came over and made us both lunch! That was a nice treat. We had a good chat. Now watching more Christmas movies!!

Hope you are having a nice weekend xx

Mummywheel Sat 07-Dec-13 16:51:00

Any room for another one? I was diagnosed with cancer in both breasts yesterday. Shocked is an understatement sad I am booked in for surgery on Thursday to have both lumps removed, will have hormone treatment and radiotherapy and possibly chemotherapy when results are in. Looks like I have a long journey ahead. My DH has been amazing, taking everything in when I was unable to. I didn't sleep at all last night so feeling extra tearful today sad

reallyreallyworried Sat 07-Dec-13 17:14:33

Welcome mummywheel sorry you find yourself here. But you have come to the right place. Always lots of support and advice on here. Just be kind to yourself. You've had a big shock. Cry if you need to cry. Shout scream whatever. But remember it really isn't the end of the world. It's a long, tough fight. But you will get through it. Xx

Wren48 Sat 07-Dec-13 17:25:56

Hi mummywheel, so sorry that you find yourself here, but this is a good place to be. And I definitely agree with really that you need to kind to yourself, especially through the early shock.

It's sounds like they are moving really fast to treat you. In some ways that might add to the shock, but it's good to get treatment underway. I had to wait ages for my first operation and was completely crawling up walls by the end. The waiting (for treatment, for results and so on) is tough.

malteserzz Sat 07-Dec-13 17:34:53

Mummy wheel sorry you have to join us but you are very welcome
I agree with wren though you are bring treated really quickly and that's good as the waiting is horrid. I had to wait ages.
Ask us anything, we've all been there and hopefully can help smile

Off for a curry later with dh and friends. He had the snip this morning but is bravely carrying on wink

Mummywheel Sat 07-Dec-13 17:45:16

Thank you ladies I am sure I will have plenty to ask in the coming days/months thanks

Marshy Sat 07-Dec-13 18:46:10

Evening all, and hello to mummywheel

Just a quickie from me to say happy birthday to kitkat! Hope hospital isn't too tedious mom and that you are out soon, and good luck to malt for Monday (it is Monday isn't it?) Glad you're having a nice weekend really after a trying week.

I saw BCN yesterday and she gave me the go ahead to get my new boob wet so i had my first proper shower in aaages this morning - it was bliss!

Off to see DD at uni at the very end of the Piccadilly line tomorrow. We are going to see Les Mis on Monday night. I've never seen it, though have sung loads of the songs in various choirs, and DD is keen, so looking forward to that. Back home Tuesday morning.

Have been feeling a bit sicky the last few days and suspect it might be the tamoxifen as also being woken at least once a night feeling quite tropical! Betsy will be interested to hear how you get on with it, and anyone else also.

Waving to everyone and wishing all a good evening

amberlight Sat 07-Dec-13 18:57:06

Hi all <waves> and hi Mummywheel. Sorry you're here, but glad you've found everyone.
If it helps, the modern cancer treatments for breast cancer are amazingly good. 9 out of 10 people with BC go on to live a normal long life now. The remaining 1 out of 10 gets to live with cancer for a good few years, normally - and the treatments are making most of those ruder sorts into long-term nuisances rather than disasters. So for nearly everyone, it's bracing treatment that isn't fun...but it's do-able...and a good outcome. Even if it's spread somewhere else in the body., which 1 in 10 people's may have done.
I was reading yesterday, by the way (may be of use to wider audience) that if for example it's a rare one where the cancer has gotten into the liver AND people have already had three different sorts of chemotherapy (so about 2-3 years of treatment), they can still add another 1-2 years of life on average by using the latest nuclear-medicine or freezing techniques. And then they have the new genetic medicines to use after that. So whatever the results are, you're almost certainly not going to cop it any time soon. No need to cancel that pension contribution and start writing goodbye letters.

Let us know what results you get and when, and we can definitely tell you a bit more about your best new options. I am sure your teams will too. None of us here are doctors, but a few of us know a fair bit.
Meantime, have a brew and a sit down.

BetsyBoop Sat 07-Dec-13 20:51:40

welcome to mummywheel though sorry you find yourself here. Listen the amber she is our official wise woman grin

marshy I'm only three days in on tamoxifen but haven't noticed any SEs yet - I was still getting the occasional hot flush after chemo anyway - maybe too early for SEs to properly get going yet?

Wren48 Sat 07-Dec-13 20:52:10

Thanks for that, amber. Not directed at me, I know, but I found that helpful on a gloomy old day when I've not been able to shift my thoughts to a cheerfuller state. Hooray for modern medicine (though a bit sore from modern surgery right now).

BetsyBoop Sat 07-Dec-13 20:53:41

oh and lily - ditto - my one mutant/rampant chin hair was the first thing to sprout, about three weeks ago...

reallyreallyworried Sun 08-Dec-13 08:07:36

Morning all

marshy glad you were able to enjoy a lovely shower yesterday. Amazing how much we appreciate the small pleasures in life!

malt hope you had a lovely evening. How was the curry?

mom how are your bloods doing? Behaving I hope. Hope you escape soon.

kitkat how was your birthday? Did you have a great day.

Hope everyone else is enjoying a nice weekend. Xxx

My bloods are further up this morning. Magic number is .5 and I'm at .4 Nurses think Dr might let me out today, but I'm not going to get my hopes too high.

Welcome mummywheel, sorry that you find yourself here. From your username, I take it you have children? How many and how old?

Belated birthday wishes to kitkat,

Marshy I can appreciate how good that shower mist have felt. I am really looking forward to having a shower at home, with warmer water, and where it doesn't drown half the bathroom floor!

My bloods are further up this morning. Magic number is .5 and I'm at .4 Nurses think Dr might let me out today, but I'm not going to get my hopes too high.

Welcome mummywheel, sorry that you find yourself here. From your username, I take it you have children? How many and how old?

Belated birthday wishes to kitkat,

Marshy I can appreciate how good that shower mist have felt. I am really looking forward to having a shower at home, with warmer water, and where it doesn't drown half the bathroom floor!


foofooyeah Sun 08-Dec-13 12:03:37

mum hope you get parole soon!

And hello to mummywheel

Still in my pjs here, last round of chemo still hanging about making mr lethargic but hopefully will pick up tomorrow. Have my DSD who is 14 here so nice morning watching cookery programmes and drinking tea. Also doing some very dodgy sewing.

malteserzz Sun 08-Dec-13 12:15:02

Morning or afternoon rather !
Had a good night last night though they were busy so we booked for 8pm and ended up having our main course at 10 ! Lots of wine and chat though so it was fine
Feel really well today have been to sainsburys with dh, just typical I feel better just in time for my op tomorrow ( node clearance ) got to be there at 7am I'll let you know how it goes

Mom I hope you get out soon

Hope everyone has a good day

reallyreallyworried Sun 08-Dec-13 12:22:53

Guessing you prob won't have time to be on here first thing tomorrow malt so just wanted to wish you luck for your node clearance. I found that surgery a breeze compared to the lumpectomy. Only downside was the drain! But even that was doable. Best advice I can offer, is start the exercises ASAP.

Will be thinking of you. Hope they put you on the top of the list! Xx

malteserzz Sun 08-Dec-13 12:32:04

Thank you really that was very kind smile I found the lumpectomy fine so was expecting this to be a lot worse, glad that might not be the case ! X

Malt, good luck for tomorrow.

Can't believe it, I'm still stuck here.
Dr came and said I could go if bloods are. 4. Final lab results has them at. 24. I shed a few tears. SO fed up.

reallyreallyworried Sun 08-Dec-13 13:34:42

mom sorry to hear that. But there's not much you can do. Just keep resting however boring that is you'll be out of there soon. Sending you a (((((((((BIG HUG)))))))))) xx

Gigondas Sun 08-Dec-13 15:25:00

Oh mom -it Is so hard when you get banged up. Lots of love for you and hoping bloods go up today.

Malt good luck tomorrow .

Belated happy birthday kitkat.

Also sitting around doing embroidery -big gig gone to a party. Am also in the wiped out gang after last couple of days but hoping that pick up soon.

Watching gone with the wind as don't fancy any other films .

malteserzz Sun 08-Dec-13 16:16:04

Mom sorry you can't go home yet you must be really fed up, shall we come and rescue you ?

Just packing my bag and having a wobble not so much about the op but about the results. Nothing I can do about it now though so taking the kids out for tea later

Tiny100 Sun 08-Dec-13 19:13:41

KitKat Happy Belated Birthday.

Mom Sorry to hear your stuck in hospital - must be so frustrating. Do you get the jab to boost your white cells after chemo? If not, it might be worth asking for.

Malt Good Luck for tomorrow.

Have had another week of feeling crap low after chemo. I managed to not need anti-sickness meds within 3 days, but I am left knocked for 10 days. If I walk a short distance (across a room), I feel like I am going to pass out. Oncologist said that a good result would be for a person to return to work the day after chemo, so feeling like a bit of a failure. Have an MRI scan later this week to seem if the tumour is definitely shrinking. It bloody well have better, can't stand the thought of going through this for nothing.

Marshy Sun 08-Dec-13 20:21:57

Evening all
Am on phone so apols for typos
I'm lying on my dd's bed at uni while she revises for exams next week. We are going out for the day in London tomorrow so she's working extra hard toake up for missing a day. She has also cooked me dinner and done the washing up - how times change! The heating is going full blast here so gawd help me tonight with the tamoxifen flushes!
Last time I was here was when I came to tell her that I would be having a MX, so in a much happier place today.
Malt, will be thinking about you tomorrow and keeping fingers crossed for your results. Mom, hope you are out soon.
Waving to everyone and sending good wishes xx

trice Sun 08-Dec-13 20:55:27

Good luck with the op malt. Hope you are early on the list. It is horrible waiting around.

Mom, hope your blood cells start behaving.

. I went to a carol concert tonight and enjoyed a good sing. The soloists were awesome. I would love to have such a lovely voice, but I guess listening to one is the next best thing.

malteserzz Sun 08-Dec-13 21:02:42

Trice glad that you enjoyed the concert and thank you

Marshy have a lovely time with dd

Tiny you are not a failure at all, don't think that. Everyone reacts to chemo differently nothing we can do about it and I don't think many people would be at work the day after. Feeling like you're going to pass out sounds a worry though have you mentioned that to them ? Hang in there

I will be depressed and gloomy from tomorrow I'm sure so I apologise in advance. Feel free to give me a virtual slap !

Figgyroll Sun 08-Dec-13 22:54:29

Hello ladies, old and new. It's ages since I posted on the thread and haven't been keeping up at all since my diagnosis in early November of secondaries on my liver.

I'm having weekly Taxol, every Monday, and 18 of them in total. Tomorrow is chemo number 4. It's leaving me washed out for most of the week and of course there's no time for recovery really. S/e include the usual - sore mouth, no taste buds/horrible taste in mouth, upset tum, dizzyness and odd feeling fingers and toes. I'm also having trouble with my veins - they can't get blood out or the canula thingy in without at least 6 or 7 attempts so I'm on the list for a Hickman Line. Anyone got one? I'm dreading tomorrows attempts.

Dh shaved my head today which is a relief but for him it was very traumatic - he didn't think he'd have to do it the once (in 2011) let alone twice. sad

I can't remember properly, but is someone else having weekly Taxol? How are you getting on with it?

Malt, good luck for node clearance tomorrow. I hope it goes well.

Mom, I was hospitalised 4 or 5 times in 2011 with low bloods and remember how awful it is to be cooped up. Are you in isolation to protect you from germs?

Tiny, you really mustn't feel a failure. There is no way I could go back to work after chemo and I think the same goes for most people. Re the feeling like passing out - get them to check your blood pressure because I had that s/e after the first chemo and, when they took my blood pressure, it was reading something like 67 over 45 which is incredibly low. They've taken me off my tablets and it seems to have gone back to normal now so it's worth mentioning it the next time.

kitkat1967 Sun 08-Dec-13 23:13:02

Thanks for all the birthday wishes. Had a lovely day but of course am paying for it today.

Good luck for tomorrow malt - hope you get an early slot.

figgy - I've just finished 9 weeks of Paclitaxel. For me the first 4 or 5 weeks were no bother - mild SEs ( no peripheral neuropathy) but the last 3 were really tough. It's the lack of recovery time that is hard. I finished 10 days ago and am still wiped out ( can barely manage the stairs some days). My hands and feet are still very tingly but my taste is improving and my nose has finally stopped bleeding.
Are you doing 18 weeks without a break? My nurse was telling me of a lady here who had 18 weeks of Paclitaxel and although it was very tough she got fantastics results - and has remained all clear ( her BC had spread when diagnosed). So worth persevering.

gigs and ruby- I enjoyed the 2 series of Covert Affairs and have started Breaking Bad which is excellent - just onto Season 2.

holstenlips Sun 08-Dec-13 23:43:34

Hello to all . I best introduce myself first. Im holstenlips :-) I was on this thread 2011/12 when I had vulval cancer. Im looking forward to meeting you all although wish you werent here iyswim!
Im going to get straight to it now.
I am being sent for MRI as an urgent. Due to headaches, confusion, memory loss and weakness on my left side. Petrified :-( and fed up of feeling so incapable and rubbish.
Moan over.
I have some Mars planets and a cuppa in bed with my dd (6) so im happyish x

holstenlips Sun 08-Dec-13 23:44:40

Oh I also have ds(20) away at uni. And im a lone parent.

Wren48 Mon 09-Dec-13 08:17:17

Hi holstenlips, so very sorry you are back here. In bed with your dd with the mars planets and the cuppa sounds like the right place to be (but I've just checked when you posted: of course you're not still there. Probably rushing around now getting dd ready for school.)

Really good luck fir the scan. When is it?

Wren48 Mon 09-Dec-13 08:21:39

Two of my children now out the door to school, one petrified in advance of his first GCSES controlled assessment. Ds2 (14) is at home. Not ill, but he asked for a day off and I thought that, just once in a while and particularly as things are right now, it was ok.

foofooyeah Mon 09-Dec-13 08:26:44

holstenlips welcome back, what a grim sentence, hope your fears are unfounded

tiny I was doing fabulously with chemo, but round 5 has been like a sledgehammer, your not a failure, we all react differently and that even cares during the course of chemo.

figgy lady next to me at chemo was having weekly taxol, she was doing very well but said main issue was tiredness.

everyone else big love!!

foofooyeah Mon 09-Dec-13 08:27:59

When I said 'welcome back' I meant it was grim to be saying welcome back, not that you had a grim sentence.

Just been told I can expect to be here until the end of the week, thur or Fri probably. My neutrophils seem to be stuck at. 25 ish with 3 days now. I an supposed to have chemo #4 next Monday. They said that may get delayed a week. Nothing to do but sit it out. I'm devastated though.

I'll get Nulasta next cycle to try prevent this happening again. Next cycle is my last AC cycle then it is switch to Taxol.

tiny feeling like you could pass out after very little exertion doesn't sound right. Ring your chemo nurse. Chances are they should be able to do something about it.

kitkat1967 Mon 09-Dec-13 11:43:44

oh no Mum - what a pain. I think it is better know though, rather then continually thinking you will be 'out tomorrow'.
Are you doing 4 AC then 4 Tax then? Is it you that is doing the 2 weekly cycle (sorry my brain is still chemo mushy!)?

malteserzz Mon 09-Dec-13 12:42:37

Mom I'm sorry sad

I'm in hospital, been here since 7 but been told that I might have to go home and come back on Wednesday as there were complications getting the wire in for the 1 st lady and now the surgeon might not be able to fit us all in today. How crap !

Ah Malt, thats a bummer.

Shootingatpigeons Mon 09-Dec-13 13:18:29

mom I had a lengthy hospital stay as a result of low white blood cells too, I actually did get an infection whilst having practically no white blood cells and was very ill for a week as it took them a while to find the right abs. And lots of delays to treatments (I had 5 AC) and reductions in dose. It really was so common on AC as to be practically normal. It is so boring though. In fact my white blood cell counts have never really recovered and still hover around 2.5, I don't know if that is the same as .24 or 10 times? But I was told 4 is the lower end of normal, but in the end they decided my normal was 2 and pressed ahead with treatments once I got there. It doesn't seem to cause me to get ill more than averagely. But the good news is that the injections used to send my counts up to 16 + and kept me out of hospital, though they went back down again when I stopped the injections.

tiny it really annoys me when doctors try to make out chemo is a breeze and make you feel in some way inadequate or culpable when you suffer side effects. We had a wonky Oncy who would shake his head as he read the lab reports as if you were a naughty schoolgirl who just got a bad school report. angry and absolutely nothing to do with him poisoning you... We call it swooning on here and both KK and I did a lot of swooning, and really needed someone alongside at all times to catch. In the end I couldn't walk 100 yes or stand for 5 mins without going. It is a normal SE but do mention it to your team.

malt hoping that you do manage to get sorted today, what a pain.

holsten I hope the MRI is reassuring.

Wren48 Mon 09-Dec-13 14:08:25

mom, I'm really really sorry to hear that you're going to be stuck in hospital for even longer. Absolute pain (just deleted something ruder). I do hope the chemo can go as planned.

And what a complete pain for you, malt. I hope that not hearing more from you means that it's all happening ..

Waiting waiting waiting for a mastectomy / reconstruction date. Just at that dangerously close to Christmas and New Year point when I can't see anything happening for weeks... And delays now mean delays to chemo. Sigh.

kitkat1967 Mon 09-Dec-13 14:29:59

Malt - what a nightmare - fingers crossed they can still squeeze you in. Ask to be first on Wednesday if you don't get done today.

malteserzz Mon 09-Dec-13 14:32:34

Still here still waiting for news. Have no confidence that if they say Wednesday it will actually happen

Gigondas Mon 09-Dec-13 14:52:11

Holsten lips- big hugs , am pleased but sorry to hear you are back. Think topsy had brain scan for headaches etc but was given all clear.

malt- that's a bugger ESP when got yourself psyched up.

Grr moms - that is so horrid. Are there any books or box sets you can work your way thru?

Had long nap after reflexology this morning. Now in massive queue at post office.

holstenlips Mon 09-Dec-13 15:05:53

Thanks all.Hi Gigs how are you?
Im sure its all due to a dodgy tense neck. Not sure when it'll be. Supposed to be in a week or so. Bloody headaches driving me nuts.
At work so I cant be that ill :-D

Gigs, I've just watched Downton season 2 yesterday. Dh loading season 3 on tablet for me this evening. Along with some movies.
Technology makes hospital stays much easier.

Pigeons, I believe 4 in your experience is same as .4 in mine. Hopefully if. 25 is my 'normal' they won't take too much longer to figure that out!

I'm seriously considering asking DH to bring in Xmas presents, wrapping paper and sellotape so I can make a start on wrapping!

kitkat1967 Mon 09-Dec-13 18:20:02

mum - boo hoo for your extended stay. As you obviously have wifi available to you have you thought about getting Netflix? You could have a months free trial grin

Malt - I see for facebook that you got bumped - grrrr.... for you. I hope that they put you at the top of the list on Wednesday but as you've said you had everything arranged for today - plus you were psyched up. Glass of wine tonight I think wine.

Rooners Mon 09-Dec-13 18:23:35

Hi Girls - I'm sorry to butt in but thought I'd have a scout around and see how my old mate Mary/MAS is doing, and can't see anything on search for the last month or so - I shan't pry but if anyone is in touch with her then please do send her my very best wishes.

I don't want to PM as if she is having time off from MN she may not welcome the intrusion but please do send my love if you speak with her.

Love to all of you as well xxx

foofooyeah Mon 09-Dec-13 18:28:44

Hi rooners I've only been here about 4 months so a newbie, but MAS is just fine.
Will pass on your best wishes.

Hey rooners ! I was told you'd been asking about me which is very sweet of you..I've absented myself from the thread for a bit but can see that it's been admirably maintained by the tamoxigang grin. How are you ? I'm fine, still taking daily capecitabine and having sore hands and feet but it's tolerable. I'm having a scan next Monday to see what's what. Do pm me if you want a chat ! Xxxxx

And hello to you all too...welcome new people and hope all is generally ok with everyone.xx

Rooners Mon 09-Dec-13 20:23:49

Oh brill!!! grin I am SOOO pleased to see you and that you're doing okay.

Thanks for passing the message on, Foofoo. That was so sweet of you.

All the very best of luck for Monday MAS and I hope the only thing lighting up is your Christmas tree smile

Will PM when children allow!!

Lots of love xxxxx

malteserzz Mon 09-Dec-13 21:03:38

I'm feeling a bit more chilled today after a long and frustrating day. Fingers crossed everything goes ahead on Wednesday

There was a 15 year old there today being treated for breast cancer hmm

weebarra Mon 09-Dec-13 21:46:23

Fingers crossed all goes ahead on Wed malt.
15?! That is so sad. I've been feeling sorry for myself for getting it at 36, but 15 is a whole different ball game.
Have DS1's nativity at school tomorrow. Best take some tissues, I will no doubt weep.

reallyreallyworried Tue 10-Dec-13 07:05:40

Morning all

malt I'm sorry to hear that you didn't have your surgery. Fingers firmly crossed that you will be top of the list on Wednesday! Meanwhile do something lovely today, make the most of it fgrin

As for the 15year old! That is just scary, and so sad. Poor thing must of only just been getting used to her new body, after puberty. Can't imagine how she or her parents coped with that. Bless them x

I had a much better day yesterday. Chatted with my bosses and all is good fsmile I think things were just strained last week. They were tired, I was tired etc etc. But we chatted, and laughed last night and I feel much more relaxed.

They reassured me that the children have never seemed happier so clearly I was doing an excellent job! Always nice to hear, because I am my biggest critic! I didn't want my 'need' to work to impact negatively on the children or my bosses. Now I know all is okay. fgrin

Although I am pleased that I am going down to a 4 day week, as yesterday was really hard work. But I think that might be because I had a REALLY lazy weekend! So hopefully today will be a bit easier! I hope

Hope you are coping okay mom think bringing in the wrapping to do, is a great idea!! Let's hope your bloods start behaving soon xx

Hi gigs hope all is okay with you. Sleep after reflexology sounds lovely! Post office queuing!!!!!! Not so much fun!

Well I should get ready to start my day, with 2 super excited children, who have school trips and parties today! I sense alot of Christmas singing coming on fgrin lovely xx

Hope everyone has a good day xx

Gigondas Tue 10-Dec-13 08:21:24

Grr about being bumped malt but hope that you are in and out quickly tomorrow.

That's awful about 15 year old- used to see kids having radio when I was in hospital sad.

Glad you cleared the air with your bosses really. I am in awe of you doing 5 day week at best of times. Only ever had 4 day week nannies and I know they are done in by end of the week. Sounds like you do a great job with kids- are they off next week so can do Christmassy things? And as you aren't far Away will fix meet up in new year.

Going to try and crack on with Xmas cards today.

malteserzz Tue 10-Dec-13 08:34:44

Morning everyone

Weebarra enjoy the nativity I would cry too ! What is ds playing ?

Gigs I also need to do Christmas cards it's creeping up quickly now

Really I agree you're doing very well to keep working even 4 days a week, glad everything is ok with your bosses

Still miffed about yesterday wish it was all done and I was recovering today. Not relishing having to go through it all again tomorrow. Oh well

Hope everyone has a good day

reallyreallyworried Tue 10-Dec-13 19:49:07

So malt let me try again. GOOD LUCK for tomorrow. I hope you are all done and back in your bed by 11 fgrin will be thinking of you. Xx

I've got to go in and have my PICC line dressing changed tomorrow, and my line flushed. Also need to try and change my Chemo time for the 27th. I'm booked in for early on the 27th but if I go home to my parents, which is what I plan then I can't get back here until 11am at the earliest! Whoops!! Don't think Chemo organiser is going to like me fblush

Very quiet on here today. Is everyone off doing Chrismassy things today? Thanks to my darling charges, I must of heard the song 'when Santa got stuck up the chimney' at least 1000 times today fgrin and have spent the last hour humming it to myself! Hoping they might choose a different song tomorrow!!

Hope you all have a good evening. Xxx

holstenlips Tue 10-Dec-13 19:53:49

Hello and a good evening to everyone :-) hope you are all doing well.
Got a brain scan coming up but just wondered if anybody here is around my age (42) and has any idea about peri menopause. For example, could it be causing my never ending headache, confusion and intermittent weakness ?
If anyone can advise I will be grateful

kitkat1967 Tue 10-Dec-13 20:10:47


Good luck for tomorrow Malt - I hope they remember that they bumped you yesterday and that you get VIP treatment.

Holensten - sorry I can't help you - I am 46 (just) but had no menopause symptoms prior to chemo when I got hot flushes. Hopefully someone else will be along who can advice you.

Really - I can't imagine they will be too upset about you wanting to change your chemo time - fingers crossed they'll be accommodating.

I've had a busy day getting bits and pieces for some decorating that we are having done. We are having 2 rooms done at the sme time so it is chaos (just had to move a piano).
Anyway I finally feel a bit better - my legs are still ridiculously tired and not good on stairs but everything else seems to fading. Except my fasting glucose was 14.6 today which is an improvement on last week's 15 but hardly significant. The nurse is going to ring me on Thursday to discuss sad. I will be gutted if my surgery gets cancelled - I can gloss over it on 17th when I meet the surgeon to confirm but I will have pre-op boods done in mid-Jan so need to be improved by then.

Gigondas Wed 11-Dec-13 08:07:58

Hoping it all goes well today malt.

Holsten sorry can't help you as chemo I think kicked me into menopause. have you thought it might be stress related ?

Tea in bed here as mini had a party at 2am hmmconfused.

Good news for me. Bloods increased almost fen fold overnight. From .18 to 1.3. meaning I'm no longer neutropenic!! They gave me a bonemarrow stimulating injection yesterday, which I may need to continue at home for a few days.

So I'm going home either today or tomorrow. At last!' I m here one week and one day.

Wren48 Wed 11-Dec-13 11:04:33

holstenlips, the one thing I do know about menopause symptoms is that they are very variable and include all sorts of stuff, including headaches and weakness/ fatigue. Is your MRI reasonably soon?

mom, hooray for better bloods! Great that you're finally going home.

here's a heartwarming thing for you all

I'm home! Yaaaaay!

Gigondas Wed 11-Dec-13 18:41:56

Yippee gringrinthat's great news mom .

BetsyBoop Wed 11-Dec-13 19:14:40

woohooo for mom smile

malteserzz Wed 11-Dec-13 20:32:46

Mom really pleased for you !
I've taken your place in hospital hopefully just for the night as I feel fine but they want to keep an eye on the drain overnight for some reason

hoosyermama Wed 11-Dec-13 20:52:02

Hello, this is my first time on this thread and I'm looking for company of others in a similar position to me; I think I've come to the right place? A week ago I was diagnosed with grade 3 invasive ductal carcinoma. I'm 42 and have a DP, DD (7) and DS (2). I was still breastfeeding him and have had to stop that abruptly, I think as much of the emotion and tears so far has been over that as over the shock of the news. I wasn't prepared for this news (are you ever?) as the consultant was convinced it was a fibroedenoma and the ultrasound and needle aspiration pointed to the same but due to a lot of "cellular activity" it was decided to take a core biopsy - that brought the result. So far had titanium marker, ultrasound and mammogram but neither scan has shown the lump in enough detail so awaiting MRI. Had MUGA scan today in prep for chemo. Also having a sentinal lymph node biopsy next week so should have results for Xmas week. Been told I'll be having chemo, surgery and radiotherapy. That's all I know so far. Still getting my head around it all and feel I'm getting stronger by the day (with the odd wobbly moment usually regarding the kids) but not sure how prepared I'll be for next phase. Sorry for the self indulgent post, just looking for company as I begin this journey smile

reallyreallyworried Wed 11-Dec-13 21:06:03

Hi malt glad it's done. Enjoy a nice rest for the night, hopefully you will escape tomorrow xx

Welcome hoosy sorry you find yourself here, but it's a great group of ladies, I am sure you will find an answer to any questions you might have. Or if you just want a place to share your thoughts and feelings.

Sorry for brief post, but I am knackered. Heading to bed NOW!!!

Hope everyone had a good day. mom glad your home xx

kitkat1967 Wed 11-Dec-13 21:07:01

Good to hear from you Malt - shame you have to stay in overnight but glad all is well.

Great news Mom - glad you are finally being released. Hope going home does not impact too much on your Downton watching though!!

Welcome hoosy - sorry you have to join us but we're a friendly bunch. Many of us have/had BC but a few have other cancers. You sound like you're doing really well even though tests and wating for results is often the hardest bit. Let us know when you have a date for your sentinal node biopsy - many of us have had that procedure and it should be striaght forward - possibly with an overnight stay.
My lump did not show up on an ultrasound or mammogram so I had an MRI - I've 2 now - and apart from having to stay still for about 40 mins they are OK. It sounds like you are going to have chemo before lumpectomy/mx - is that what you think or have you not had that info yet?
A few of us (not me) have also had to stop breastfeeding so you are not alone and undoubtably someone will come and chat about that with you.

weebarra Wed 11-Dec-13 21:21:42

Great news mom, the neulasta injectiob is great - I get to do mine myself. Glad all went well malt.
And hello hoos - I'm one of those who had to stop bfing, although my DD was only about 8 weeks when I was diagnosed. I also have a 3 yr old DS (who I bfed till 2) and a nearly 6 yr old DS.
I'm doing it in your order too, I think: chemo, surgery, radiotherapy. I'm on my second cycle of chemo, things have been ok so far!

trice Wed 11-Dec-13 22:25:54

Hurrah for Mom getting released.

Malt, glad you are done and OK.

Hoosy, sorry to hear your news. I had to give up breast feeding too. It was an extra stress and sadness, so I feel for you.

I had my ct scan results yesterday. My lung is a bit scarred and there is still a bit of fluid but not enough to operate on thank goodness. So I am off the capecitabene and onto the hormone therapy for three months. Yippee! I had a couple of glasses of champagne to celebrate then had to lie down for a bit.

kitkat1967 Wed 11-Dec-13 22:44:54

well done Trice - that's good news - also nice to have a break from chemo for a while.

BetsyBoop Thu 12-Dec-13 06:39:35

Trice that is fab news smile

Welcome hopsy, though sorry you find yourself here.

BetsyBoop Thu 12-Dec-13 06:42:22

hopsy hoosy damn iPad autocorrect blush

malteserzz Thu 12-Dec-13 06:48:56

Hoos welcome though sorry you find yourself here. Rest assured we will help you all we can and hold your hand through it all. Ask anything however daft or gloomy it doesn't matter

Trice good news smile

Survived my night in hospital, glad they got me a single room as my mouth was so dry I drank lots of water and did lots of loo trips without feeling I was disturbing anyone. Very quiet too. Nurses are lovely nothing is too much trouble. My drain seems fine and oxygen was a bit low but find this morning so hoping they don't find any reason to keep me in

Hope everyone has a good day

malteserzz Thu 12-Dec-13 06:56:37

And after the 15 year old the other day one lady on my ward yesterday was 84 and the other looked similar which just shows BC can hit at any age sad

kitkat1967 Thu 12-Dec-13 07:01:35

Hi Malt - glad you're still well. Will you be going home with your drain or might it come out today?

malteserzz Thu 12-Dec-13 07:07:02

I've got to take it home with me and ring each day to say how much it's drained, then they'll decide when it comes out

Wren48 Thu 12-Dec-13 08:29:56

Glad the op went ahead, malt, and a single room sounds great. Hope you're speeding home soon.

Hi there hoos, and welcome. Sorry that you have to be here. You must be in great shock, particularly with the loss of the breast feeding and grieving for that as well. Although I feel like I've been in this situation forever now, I'm still in the early stages of treatment and, like you, have lots more information to come. I had a lump removed. This didn't do the trick, so I have a mastectomy/ lymph node removal and chemo to come. Waiting for treatment to start and for the results is not much fun; be kind to yourself.

malteserzz Thu 12-Dec-13 13:42:08

I'm home smile
Won't get the results till after Christmas so going to do my best to have a nice Christmas and worry about it after that. That's the plan anyway !

Marshy Thu 12-Dec-13 15:40:19

Good to see you home malt and mom also. Hope you don't have your drain for too long.

Not much news from me. Felt shattered after lovely visit to dd earlier this week so have been taking it easy the last couple of days.

Waving to everyone.

Gigondas Thu 12-Dec-13 19:37:43

Hi all and welcome hoos. Malt so glad you are home. Wobble here if need be while you wait on results.

Shattered but loved big gig in her carol concert. Settling down for evening in front of tv.

It is nice to be back home, and sleep in my own bed!
I've got to give myself injection of Neupogen daily until Monday, when I got back to get bloods checked again.

But my next chemo has been moved out a week, so I have it 2pm on Monday of Christmas week. Coming Monday would have been more convenient. But I guess my body needs time to recover.

We do Christmas at home on our own, no relatives closeby, and my girls refuse to travel for Christmas. But since my husband is vegetarian and DDs have never been too excited about Christmas dinner, preferring to continue playing with their new stuff than sit and eat, I guess I'll make do. Bummer though. (Oh, and DH or DDs can't cook...)

hoosyermama Thu 12-Dec-13 21:48:17

Hello everyone, thanks for being so lovely and welcoming, I look forward to getting to know you, albeit under these circumstances but we are a lot more than just the circumstances! I will have a lot of questions, thanks for making me comfortable to ask, I'm sure I'll learn from all of you too and hopefully give back some of my own experiences. Kit the date for the sentinal lymph node biopsy is next Fri 20th, I'll be a day case apparently. Good to hear others also have MRI, it sounds ok like you say but still a long time to stay still! Yes the plan as I know it so far is 6 sessions of chemo every 3 weeks, surgery (whatever that will entail) then radiotherapy. It's good to hear of others treatment plans and compare notes so to speak. Weebarra I empathise so much, how awful for you having to go through this and stop BF a baby of 8 weeks, I really can't complain, my DS had a good innings. He is adapting well bless him but I'm having to separate myself from him at night (ie sleep on sofa) to ease the transition. He's at his granny's tonight which is a first! Him coping means I am much more able to cope so things have got easier as the week has gone on. Yes we are having treatment in same order, I guess they want to reduce the size before going in with surgery? Wren it sounds like we are at a similar stage with waiting but you have been on the conveyer belt a bit longer? I'm so sorry to hear that the lumpectomy wasn't enough and you have more surgery to come. I hope you get dates soon. I got more info today - oncologist on 30 Dec so I now know chemo won't begin until after new year (I was speculating it would be around Xmas but everything seems to stop for Xmas even in hospitals!). Also being called for CT scan next week - invited to take part in a study and thought what the heck. I'm feeling much much stronger than a week ago, I think this is the longest journey I've ever taken in one week. I have gloomy moments but try to push them away. Apart from that TIRED. We'll try to focus on a merry Xmas before the whole shebang begins! Sorry for over long post, future ones will be shorter! Thanks so much smile xxx

foofooyeah Fri 13-Dec-13 06:58:36

Welcome hoos I have same treatment plan as you and finish chemo on 31 dec. it's been fine. Only cycle 5 knocked me out for a bit. Everyone reacts differently so just see how it goes.

I'm off out for works Christmas lunch today! Plenty of wine for me :-)

kitkat1967 Fri 13-Dec-13 07:18:15

hossyer - that's good that you've been invited to take part in a study - that usually means that you get a lot more monitoring longer term which can only be a good thing. When you have the details you must tell what your study is for.
Glad it's well with weaning your DS. Also starting chemo in the new Year sounds sensible - be warned though that once you see the onc chemo can start very quickly (not always though).

Gigs - glad you made it to big Gigs concert - things like that are one-offs - especially when they are little Hope you had a quiet evenig and that mini didn't have any parties planned in the night.

foo - I can't believe you have chemo 6 planned for New Years Eve - still I guess that means you should be OK for Christmas week. No big parties for you on New Years Eve though I guess?? But of course you'll be able to raise a glass to finishing chemo wine.

Mom - that's tough getting your chemo 2 days before Xmas - are you all organised with pressies etc.? It sounds like your DH is going to have to take over the cooking and spend the day pampig you.

Malt - good to hear that athough your drains are annoying you you feel well, I'm guessing you will have had the challenge of sleeping on your back last night though (I hate having to do that).

Goodness - I've just had an Amazon delivery - good job I was up (as had to get the kids off for their bus) - but did have to answer the door with scary hair and in my dressing gown. I usually try to avoid inflicting the tuffty head look to anyone not in my immediate family.

Mom good you're out but a shame chemo will be so near Christmas. Is there nothing your DH can cook, even if not very Christmassy? We are vegetarian too and one year had something with oven chips for Christmas dinner as we all had the flu. Otherwise could you get Christmas bits and bobs from M&S instead?

kitkat I'm sure the postman didn't even notice, he will have seen much worse. Like my parents' tubby neighbour who never seems to have a shirt on hmm

gigs good you made it to the concert, well done big gigs

hoosy yes trials are fab for aftercare and extra support. I was invited to one but as it involved having half as much chemo I declined, but the support I got while deciding was fab, and the research nurse continued to support me even after I'd said no to the trial smile

Anyway I think about you all lots but don't post much as my experience isn't really very helpful! I will swoop in if anyone with bowel cancer appears though grin have a lovely day everyone x

malteserzz Fri 13-Dec-13 09:38:06

Very envious of foo foos boozy lunch !
Sofa day for me with drain and cough but am ok
Hoping everyone has a good day are we all ready for Christmas not long now smile

foofooyeah Fri 13-Dec-13 09:51:33

kitkat I chose New Year's Eve in preference to Christmas Eve .... Bcn suggested I bring g&t with me.

ruby tubby neighbour made me snort [ grin]

Gigondas Fri 13-Dec-13 10:39:19

I have chemo on Monday before mad too mom. So its easy m and s lunch here as don't want dh doing it all .

got a scan to see how chemo going later - very nervous so all good vibes etc appreciated.

Big gig painful as tired - thankfully she breaks up today

Big hugs for ruby --nice to hear from you .

malteserzz Fri 13-Dec-13 11:16:56

Thinking of you gigs xx

alwaysseemslikehalfterm Fri 13-Dec-13 11:26:15

Hi everyone. I posted on here probably last year as I had been called back after an mri, which I have due to family history. I had some fantastic support and I was very lucky to be told all was ok.

I decided to have a risk reducing bi lateral mastectomy which I had about a month ago and I am after some more advice! Although I have had reconstrucion, I have tissue expanders which are be expanded yet u. Basically, dh has not seen them yet and I don't quite know how to approach it. What did everyone else do?

I know I am very lucky not to be facing other treatment and this seems like a silly concern so I apologise for that.

For those facing mri scans, I have had 2. They iare very noisy and you can ihear it over the head phones. You will have a tube in your arm to put dye into your veins. You lay on your front with your arms up. Both times i have rested my head on my arms and ended up with dead arms, so don't do that! They give you a buzzer in case you need to stop and also talk to you through the head phones. It really is fine. You move back and forward a couple of times to get the scanner in the right place but they tell you when. I was really nervous but it was fine!

Sorry for random letters in my post, stupid phone!

alwaysseemslikehalfterm Fri 13-Dec-13 11:30:08

Hi everyone. I posted on here probably last year as I had been called back after an mri, which I have due to family history. I had some fantastic support and I was very lucky to be told all was ok.

I decided to have a risk reducing bi lateral mastectomy which I had about a month ago and I am after some more advice! Although I have had reconstrucion, I have tissue expanders which are be expanded yet u. Basically, dh has not seen them yet and I don't quite know how to approach it. What did everyone else do?

I know I am very lucky not to be facing other treatment and this seems like a silly concern so I apologise for that.

For those facing mri scans, I have had 2. They iare very noisy and you can ihear it over the head phones. You will have a tube in your arm to put dye into your veins. You lay on your front with your arms up. Both times i have rested my head on my arms and ended up with dead arms, so don't do that! They give you a buzzer in case you need to stop and also talk to you through the head phones. It really is fine. You move back and forward a couple of times to get the scanner in the right place but they tell you when. I was really nervous but it was fine!

Sorry for random letters in my post, stupid phone!

Wren48 Fri 13-Dec-13 11:33:03

On a bad day this made me cry with laughter. Hope others like it too - it's very seasonal.

malteserzz Fri 13-Dec-13 11:56:48

Loved that wren thank you smile

Thanks Wren - he's really belting out that song, isn't he. Still giggling here.

trice Fri 13-Dec-13 22:19:11

Wren, that made me laugh. I have a Dd with a similar singing style. Angelic she ain't.

Good vibes to Gig. Hope it goes well.

I have spent the evening cooking and getting set for a dinner party tomorrow evening. Made chocolate truffle, oatcakes for tthe cheese and frozen cocktails. It is to thank some special friends who have been fab over the last year. I may wear my Turkey hat.

malteserzz Fri 13-Dec-13 23:12:30

Hope you got the seating arrangements sorted trice grin

trice Fri 13-Dec-13 23:42:49

I figured the hat would be a good distraction Malt! I have been shifting furniture and writing names on crackers. I put a big table cloth and sparkly runner on so you can hardly see the chairs at all, I alternated kitchen and dining chairs and it looks quite nice. Fingers crossed.

Wren48 Sat 14-Dec-13 08:46:09

Blimey, Trice, that's impressive. Sounds great!

I'm in denial about Christmas lunch. I have lots of family coming (which is good; I like that, and they'll bring stuff), but I can't get my head around what needs to be done. And one sister may not be able to come with her lot as her 23 year old son is having chemo (Hodgkins lymphoma) and it all depends on how he is. So I can't ask her to do the bread sauce and chestnut stuffing like she did last year.... And I've got a pre op assessment on Monday so, having been terrified that they were never going to get round to me, I'm now terrified they'll say I have to have the op before Christmas. There's always something....

Hi always, I don't have experience on the tissue expanders, but I think there are those on this thread who do and will be able to add their. thoughts. Good to hear about the MRI scans...

always glad to hear you've not needed any other treatment. kitkat had tissue expanders so I'm sure she will be along soon. You also might like to look at the breast reconstruction thread here

malteserzz Sat 14-Dec-13 09:06:48

Trice it'll be great and you are being very considerate. Can't wait to hear all about it
Wren sorry to hear about your nephew. Could you make a list for dinner writing it down might help but at the end of the day if it's not perfect who cares

I had a great nights sleep maybe due to the painkillers ! Just about to ring about my drain which has drained 140 ml again and is getting heavy and full

kitkat1967 Sat 14-Dec-13 11:03:05

hi always - I'm not sure I can help much as I didn't conciously show or not show DH the tissue expander - so from day 1 it was just how it was. He did come with me to the 4 sessions to fill the expander (as I couldn't drive afterwards) and the surgeon chatted to him about how it was doing which I found wierd.
Once it is filled it is also wierd to touch as it is completely solid which is not what you expect. Anyway DH has not said anything negative - whatever he thinks he has more sense then to say it!!!

Trice enjoy your dinner party toonight - it sounds fab.

malteserzz Sat 14-Dec-13 12:19:13

I've had my drain bottle emptied and one of the dressings removed and feel bit more comfortable smile
Christmas tree going up this afternoon, well I will be supervising with a cuppa !

amberlight Sat 14-Dec-13 19:22:27

Hi all, been a bit quiet whilst dh has been having emergency eye surgery. Another op for him this Friday.
Hoosy, welcome! It's very usual for anyone under age 50 to have a 'grade 3' sort of cancer. It means it can be killed faster with chemotherapy, so it's not a bad thing any more.
The treatments are so good at stopping cancer now. 9 out of 10 people with breast cancer will go on to a long life. Most of the others will still have years and years ahead....thanks to the new potions....and by then there may well be a complete cure. New stuff is happening almost every week now.
But it's not a cheery prospect, and of course there are no total guarantees on anything. So all of us know the worry and emotions that go with it.
Welcome...and have a brew or a [win

kitkat1967 Sat 14-Dec-13 23:39:29

Nice to hear from you amber - I saw that your dh needed an op and that it was only partly successful. Hopefully everything will go OK on Friday.

malteserzz Sun 15-Dec-13 04:49:36

Awake ! Blooming drain. Not hurting just irritating and stopping me getting in a comfy position. Plus the usual middle of the night worries
Amber hope dh is ok
Trice hope the dinner party was a success
Hope everyone else is sleeping !

jchocchip Sun 15-Dec-13 05:01:11

Hi Malt, saw you on that other thread - popping over to say hi! I'm at Mums and cant sleep, but I think that is mainly noisy heating! Hope you have managed some rest even if not asleep,Malt. Take it easy today.

Sorry can't keep up with this thread, am also trying to reduce my fb habit and do more crochet!

foofooyeah Sun 15-Dec-13 08:26:02

Morning all, hope wakeful ones managed to get some more sleep.

I have completely lost my voice!! It's bizarre, also ended up at out if hours Dr last night as my eye has swollen up. Very attractive. Now on antibiotics and looking lovely. Supposed to be going to meet friends this evening but may now stay home.

malteserzz Sun 15-Dec-13 09:43:13

Jchoc sorry you were awake too ! Hope you got back to sleep,I managed to

Foo foo is the voice and eye chemo related ? Hope you feel better soon

Just been brought a bacon roll and cuppa in bed smile

trice Sun 15-Dec-13 11:33:04

Dinner party was really good fun. We all had a really good time. I have spent the morning clearing up paper hats and spilled wine. I am lucky to have a group of such lovely friends, they have put up with a lot from mein the past few months.

, Foofoo - that sounds like a nasty infection, hope it clears up quickly.

Malt - have you named your drain? It makes swearing at it much easier. Having it pulled out is such a relief I find.

malteserzz Sun 15-Dec-13 18:03:45

Trice it sounds like a great evening shame we couldn't all have come grin
I haven't named my drain, maybe I should !
Have had my feet up most of the day and going to watch X factor tonight

Marshy Sun 15-Dec-13 19:06:36

Hi all,
Had to share this with you. We have been to visit my MIL today whom I haven't seen since before my MX. I let her have a look at the reconstructed boob and, with a puzzled look on her face, she asked me if my nipple would grow back!
Just as well I have a sense of humour. Dh and me have had a good laugh about it in the car on the way home.
Love to all

kitkat1967 Sun 15-Dec-13 19:42:31

Hi Marshy - if you ever do get a nipple 'created' you'll have to show her and tell it took a while to grow.

holstenlips Sun 15-Dec-13 20:46:04

Good evening all.Apologies that im going to be no support to anyone. I wish I could and I do wish you all well. I mentioned before my 3 week headache and being booked for mri. Well before that could take place, on friday I had a fit in work. The hospital did a ct of my head and said they can't see whats wrong. I had mri yesterday and now have to wait for results. My head is screaming 'brain tumour' im scared. Im scared of gaving another fit. It was the most frightening experience of my life.

Wren48 Sun 15-Dec-13 21:27:09

Holstenlips, that does sound frightening; no wonder you are feeling shaken. Very scary. There are many reasons for headaches and seixpzures that are not a brain tumour and it's really good they couldn't find anything with the CT scan. When do you get the results of the MRI scan? Really really good luck with it.

Warm hugs to you...

holstenlips Sun 15-Dec-13 21:47:50

Thank you Wren. The results should be within 2 weeks. I just want to know what caused it. The hospital said "your symptoms are worrying" but they had no advice except maybe go to headache clinic. My worry is more the seizures. Ive never had anything like it before. I live alone with my dd age 6 so I have had to teach her 999 on the phone. Thanks for the hug. I may ring my gp tomorrow for help.

Tiny100 Sun 15-Dec-13 21:50:06

{{{Hugs}}} to Holsten, that must have been so scary.

Do you have someone at home with you who can help if you had another seizure? If not can you stay with someone, or get someone to stay with you? I am not saying you will have another seizure, but you might find it easier to rest/relax if you have someone there you can rely on if needed.

Hope you get your results soon - waiting for results is always the most stressful of times.

jchocchip Sun 15-Dec-13 21:51:16

Waves to holsten. Oh shit, that must have been scary. Hand holding here. Sending +ve vibes for results.

Lol at Marshy regrowing a nipple. I have seen pics of good results with surgery combined with tatoos.

Tiny100 Sun 15-Dec-13 21:51:25

Opps X-post with you.

Tiny100 Sun 15-Dec-13 21:52:47

Good Luck with growing that nipple Marshy! [Grin]

Evening everyone else! x

malteserzz Sun 15-Dec-13 21:56:58

Holsten that must have been scary I hope you get your results soon. Must be a worry living alone with your 6 year old but I'm sure she'd be capable if ringing 999 if she had to. Stick around and we will hold your hand

Marshy lol at the nipple good job you can laugh about it

Wren48 Sun 15-Dec-13 22:09:48

Holstenlips, I think it's a good idea to ring your GP. Someone to talk to, someone who's a resource for you. If you're being strong for your daughter you definitely need to wobble on someone (can always do it here of course).

trice Sun 15-Dec-13 22:58:22

Holstenlips, I hope you get some answers soon and they can lay your fears to rest. The fit sounds scary and horrid. I hope you don't have to go though that again. Positive vibes to you.

holstenlips Mon 16-Dec-13 00:20:55

Thanks all, very much. It was truly terrifying. Sadly I have noone to stay with me but my son will be back from uni later this week.
I will ring my gp tomorrow.
Its safer being in work than home alone so I shall also go to work.
Im scared if this is secondary cancer (vulval cancer Dec 2011)
I should sleep (and stop giving us all nightmares) x

foofooyeah Mon 16-Dec-13 00:45:29

holsten I happen to be awake and just thought I woud send a reassuring and unmumsetty hug to you.

holstenlips Mon 16-Dec-13 06:41:05

Thank you - hugs right back . Think its allowed on this thread! Getting up for work now.
Hope everyone has a good day , weather permitting, its not looking very nice out there. The cat is not impressed. Good luck anyone having any treatment or appointment this week.

malteserzz Mon 16-Dec-13 07:41:12

Hugs definitely allowed on here smile
Didn't sleep well, need to go back to hospital and get my drain changed later as it's stopped vacuuming (if that's a word )
Keep looking back to this time last year and how happy we were hmm pointless really but I can't help it

BetsyBoop Mon 16-Dec-13 08:02:52

Hugs for Holsten. That must have been scary. Waiting for results is horrid too but fingers crossed its nothing serious.

foofooyeah Mon 16-Dec-13 08:45:21

malt you will be happy again, you just need to get through this.
Look forward to little achievements such as getting rid of duncan the drain (there have given t a name for you) Hope getting duncan changed to davina is simple!

kitkat1967 Mon 16-Dec-13 09:01:39

welcome back holsten - fingers crossed for you that you are just passing through and get good results. Is your son going to be home for the whole of the Xmas period? I hope so as that will make things much easier for you.

aaahh Malt - good luck wth your drain change and try not to think about last year - tihnk aout next year instead. I don't know about you but I find it very hard to remember 'before' as this seems to have become my life now. Sadly even when treatmnet is completed we'll never be the same as before again sad.

and hello to everyone else - is it a quiet weeks for tests and treatment - seems like it to me smile.
I'm off to see my surgeoin tomorrow evening but that's only to confirm my Op fpor Jan so nothing scary or painful.

kitkat1967 Mon 16-Dec-13 09:03:27

oh and forgot to say my DCs are on school hols now - which I love - so lazy mornings and a few nice trips planned for this week. (Plus dentist for them this morning!!).
Week 2 of the decorating so things should take shape now.

malteserzz Mon 16-Dec-13 09:08:56

I hope next Christmas will be better for all of us
Kitkat mine are still at school this week but all after school activities have finished for Christmas so there will be much less rushing around in the evenings
I've just done a online shop for tomorrow, goodness knows what we will get its easy to get click happy !

Foo foo how's your eye and voice ? Lol at duncan and davina !

foofooyeah Mon 16-Dec-13 11:46:07

Eye much better thanks, and voice returning. Feel quite chipper.

My son has broken up from school too, love having him at home

Tiny100 Mon 16-Dec-13 12:59:46

I have my MRI results on Wednesday, which I am starting to get nervous about.

Just off to pick LO up from his Pre-school Christmas Party - he didn't want to stay when we got there, but I haven't had a call to pick him up, so hopefully he is enjoying himself!

malteserzz Mon 16-Dec-13 15:12:27

My drain is out! It was coming out so they decided it could come out early smile

Tiny100 Mon 16-Dec-13 15:55:49

Great news Malt - bye, bye Duncan!

kitkat1967 Mon 16-Dec-13 17:14:13

Hey good news Malt - now you can get ready for Christmas and enjoy yourself fgrin

Wren48 Mon 16-Dec-13 18:53:44

Great news about the drain, malt. I'm expecting drains for my next op (single mx with DIEP reconstruction), so I've watched your progress with interest.

I think Christmas is a brilliant time of year, but oh boy it brings all the emotions out. I'm feeling very blue right now as I've just heard that my sister/ bil and their 3 dcs won't be with us for Christmas because of my nephew's chemo. We'll still have fun, but my kids will be so disappointed. Still, on we go. Christmas shopping tomorrow.

I still haven't done my food list, malt, but my intentions are good...

Oh and the hospital told me today that they'd booked my op for the 23rd! fshock. And hadn't bothered to tell me. They are now looking for a new date.... It's at least a 5 day hospital stay.

Tiny100 Mon 16-Dec-13 20:09:29

Nothing like a good bit of hospital communication Wren. Hope you don't have to wait too long to get a suitable new date. Sorry to hear your family won't be able to make it - at least it will be another chemo ticked off on your nephew's list. sad

Xmas food shopping is being left to OH. He always has eyes bigger than his belly when it comes to food shopping, so no doubt we will still be eating goodies come end of Jan. Although my steroid eating munchies might make that mid-Jan. grin

malteserzz Mon 16-Dec-13 20:20:12

Oh wren I can't believe anyone would want an op on 23rd December I hope they find you a more suitable date quickly. That is a shame about your family not coming
Tiny my dh is doing all of the shopping and cooking for Christmas dinner so think we will have far too much too !

It's so nice without the drain, was swapped sides of the bed whilst it was in so were swapping back tonight !

GoodnessKnows Mon 16-Dec-13 22:57:04

Hiya. Not sure whether this is the right place for me. Ineas told last Wednesday that I have a ruddy great tumour in my back - it's in my spinal column and has chronically eroded bone, etc. biopsy will be this Wednesday. My life has just turned upside down... or is about to be. Feeling a bit down and not managing to 'be positive'. The consultants think it looks benign. They are worried about the position of it (nerves, spine, etc.). I don't know what to be worried about. All of it. My children. My husband. Pain. I'm craaaaaaaap with pain. Shitting myself just about the biopsy.
Nuff said.

Gigondas Mon 16-Dec-13 23:00:49

Goodness- sorry you are here and it must be very scary with so many unknowns. I have had two operations on my spine to remove tumours and fix up spine so ask away if you have any questions. Where is the growth ?

If it helps, both ops were a success and am in less pain now than before.

Hi everyone else- yay for no drains malt. Get scan results tomorrow and meant to do next chemo round so send me prayers, good vibe etc please.

Gigondas Mon 16-Dec-13 23:04:13

Oh and if it makes you feel better both mine were eroding stuff- one on neck (Katherine Jenkins as it was known) and one on lumbar spine (gregg Wallace ) which was giving me shocking pain in legs and hip.

GoodnessKnows Mon 16-Dec-13 23:12:21

My hip was achey and I've limped for a couple of seconds when I got up from lying down or siting. That's all. No pain.
Blind to have pain now though. I know I should be glad it was found but I'm predominantly not so glad. I was happier when I was innocently trundling along last week.
They THINK it's a melanocytic schwannoma. It's about 5cm long in the spinal canal and thereabouts. S3 etc. scary as fuck. Not in my Xmas plans. Poo

Gigondas Mon 16-Dec-13 23:18:03

They will MRI ( if not done already) , x ray and ct scan so can plan op in detail.

Recovery time will be anything from 7-10 days usually . You will be given lots of pain relief to help.

You may feel very tired but after about 6 weeks , things should settle down.

Think biopsy usually takes about a week but they are usually good about guessing what it is so no reason to worry unduly if it's benign.

I was in a lot of pain and op bought relief.

GoodnessKnows Mon 16-Dec-13 23:19:23

Glad you benefitted from it. How are you now - dare I ask as I think this is a thread for those who are struggling? In not sure.

GoodnessKnows Mon 16-Dec-13 23:19:58

I don't know what I'm doing or saying and so apologies if I'm putting my foot in my mouth.

GoodnessKnows Mon 16-Dec-13 23:23:56

Going to try to get to sleep now. Hope to chat again when feeling more positive. Who is this group for?

Gigondas Mon 16-Dec-13 23:28:53

It's for anyone who is waiting on/had a cancer diagnosis at whatever state of life or how they are doing. It's also occasionally for people waiting on scans ,ops etc like you where we can share experiences or hold hands.

Don't worry about saying wrong thing as we all know how horrible and scary it can be to wait on op, results etc.

I am fine if a little creaky - my other health problems are not to do with my ops.

If you can't sleep, can you go watch some tv, read a book or something to try and distract you. If you sit in bed only makes you feel worse.

Gigondas Mon 16-Dec-13 23:29:35

And you are more than welcome so please come and offload your worries here.

GoodnessKnows Tue 17-Dec-13 05:52:31

Thank you, Gig. I've been awake since 4. Pretty good for me. Know I'll be shattered at 6 bit the children will wake up. I hope to find out whether tumour is benign before Xmas. They think it looks benign but dangerous nevertheless (spinal canal). Can't believe that only a week ago my biggest problem was... can't even remember what it was. Seems so very long ago. I'm in a different reality now. Well, on the midnight hours, anyway. Daytimes have been surreal - normal stuff with a mixture of disbelief and fear thrown in for good measure. I saw two consultants one after the other last week. All thrown at me. I should be grateful it's been found. Am I ungrateful not to feel it? I just had an achey hip.
Humph. Today will be filled with taking my children to get school shoes. Elf on the Shelf, work. When I know that tests and serious ops lie ahead. I know I'll be in intensive care afterwards. I have spotted a few grey hairs recently. Better have a hairdresser on speed dial. Lol

amberlight Tue 17-Dec-13 06:05:26

Goodness, welcome! Hope you get some good answers very soon

Gigs, good luck!!

Wren48 Tue 17-Dec-13 07:19:03

Hi Goodness, so sorry that you find yourself here; it sounds as though you are in deep shock at the moment. You certainly don't have to feel grateful it's found right now, but thank goodness for a really skilled health service who can deal with it.

It's very tricky, that business of feeling fine, but knowing that you will have a major operation that will make you feel not fine (I've had one, due another).

It's one of those annoying I-know-someone-who-had-what-you-have-and-theyre-fine stories, but my brother in law had a cancerous tumour lodged in the top of his spine. Safely removed 20 years ago and he's (excessively) fit and well now.

And gigs, good luck with results...

GoodnessKnows Tue 17-Dec-13 07:33:25

Amber, thank you! Wren, that's soooo encouraging to hear. It's a bit of a mind fuck all this. Feeling fine. Finding out. Knowing just some if what's lying ahead. I'm such a scaredy cat anyway. But I'm sure that many of you have had similar experiences & emotions at the beginning. How's everyone doing now? I'm conscious of being a self-obsessed, self-piteous gate-crashed at a tea party. Fill me in?

malteserzz Tue 17-Dec-13 07:52:41

Morning everyone

Goodness you are very welcome it just be a scary time for you so stick around if it helps

Gigs good luck for scan results did you have a good time in France ?

Not much happening here today just a sainsburys delivery and cleaners are coming. Feeling good as slept much better without Duncan drain !
Though I did just read the thread on here about pancreatic cancer which was v scary sad
Hope everyone has a good day

malteserzz Tue 17-Dec-13 07:54:43

Goodness the feeling fine thing still freaks me out. I have breast cancer and it's only been the treatment which has made me feel ill, if I hadn't found the lump I'd still be in blissful ignorance

BetsyBoop Tue 17-Dec-13 08:04:56

Just hopping on before school run to wish gigs good luck for scan results and us it next chemo today? (Or am I hopelessly mixed up?!)

Welcome goodness, though sorry you find yourself here. We all understand the shock/fear thing smile
I have had breast cancer (still trying to force my brain to accept past tense!) I've done chemo and surgery, rads to go after Christmas.

GoodnessKnows Tue 17-Dec-13 08:05:53

That's just it, Malt! I'm glad you slept better last night. Am I 'allowed to stay' even if things are, please gd , benign? Apparently it's a long and scary road ahead. Could do with the company.

BetsyBoop Tue 17-Dec-13 08:08:04

Oh and we are all "me me me" when we first find out, I remember posting a similar apology when I first joined this thread, as have many others, 'tis normal smile

malteserzz Tue 17-Dec-13 08:11:31

Morning Betsy
Of course you can stay goodness, we've had relatives of people with cancer, people waiting for test results and all sorts smile

GoodnessKnows Tue 17-Dec-13 08:14:10

Thank you for the reassurance. I feel like a child in this group. I'm in desperate need but actually don't want to be here. Previously, I've come across similar scary health threads and couldn't even bring myself to read as was so scary and upsetting to hear of the struggles of others. Hate to say it, but only days before I found out what as going on, I thought about how handy it would be to have a disabled badge for my car. Looks like it's been growing a long time , this tumour. Were it not (looking like) it's been fling for a while, I'd have thought I'd brought it on myself for having such awful thoughts.

GoodnessKnows Tue 17-Dec-13 08:15:39

Please excuse my multiple mad thoughts. I just ... I don't know. I'm all over the place. I'm hoping to get my head together and be pouring cups of tea for others and thinking less crazy thoughts v soon.

Wren48 Tue 17-Dec-13 08:34:38

Goodness, I think crazy thoughts and feeling overwhelmed and out of control is par for the course. And there is nothing that you have thought or done that has brought this on - easy though it is to think.

I think you are in the worst phase - a semi diagnosis, but not knowing that much and lots of treatment to come. It does settle down.

There's a Macmillan cancer support chat line that you can call if you just want to talk to someone - you don't have to feel that you can't call them because it may not be cancer.

Marshy Tue 17-Dec-13 09:07:39

Just popping on to say good luck to gigs and sending good vibes your way.

Hello to goodness. I think I saw your other thread. It's good that you found your way to this one. You will find lots of.understanding here.

Spoke to my boss yesterday. Am planning phased return to work from 6th Jan. Feeling a bit anxious about returning to the hurly burly. She also invited me to a meal out with my colleagues on Thursday evening which they have arranged at a venue near me to make it easier for me to go, so that's nice. No doubt I will hear (and start fretting about) all the gossip.

GoodnessKnows Tue 17-Dec-13 09:47:00

Marshy, how long have you been off from work? I was off for about 3 months once and found it helped to go back but for shorter periods of time and with set out rest breaks. I used to have to sit in a room with a meditation cd. Lol
I was given advice for what I had. I'm sure you have had/ you'll get advice too. I found that fatigue hit me of I assumed that I felt and worked as such, continuing as normal.

Wren48 Tue 17-Dec-13 14:14:17

Ok. I'm wildly upset. Having declined my given date for mx and reconstruction on 23 December, I'm now being told that the next date they have is 20 January. I've been so resolutely positive but I'm really not coping well with this. The thing is that chemo will come after so it's not just about the operation. Damn.

Actually, it's probably an exaggeration to say I was positive before, but I was trying!

malteserzz Tue 17-Dec-13 14:55:48

Oh wren that is a long time to wait sad
Will they contact you before then if for some reason someone else's op needs to be delayed ? Do you have a nice BCN you can talk to? I don't but a lot of people on here seem to
Big hugs

kitkat1967 Tue 17-Dec-13 15:43:58

Blimey Wren that is a long wait. It's been a while since your initial diagnosis too, hasn't it? Makes the whole process even more drawn out.
Is it worth biting the bullet and going for the 23rd? You could have a Xmas day celebration before you went in?

Wren48 Tue 17-Dec-13 16:29:09

Do you know, kitkat, that is what I'm beginning to think. They've now revised the later date that i could have to 31 January. I've broached the idea of an early Christmas with the children; the boys are doing their best but my daughter is devastated at the mix of me being ill and a lost Christmas. Also I blew it by crying when telling them.

My BCN is nice and very expert, but she's lost her colleague so is very busy and doesn't always return calls, and clearly thinks that I'm over reacting on the dates.

Tiny100 Tue 17-Dec-13 16:38:42

That's a long wait Wren, I have a feeling that you were probably offered 23rd Dec due to others not wanting that date either and opting for the New Year. I think you need to ask yourself are you happy to wait almost another month, or would you prefer to get the treatment plan started. Only you knows that answer, everything else, including Christmas, will fall into place.

Best of luck to Gigs, sending positive vibes your way.

Welcome to Goodness.

I have just got back from a lovely day out - took my LO to visit Father Christmas. He turned three last week and this is the first year he really 'gets' what Father Christmas is all about. It was lovely seeing his little face light up. Trying not to think about scan results tomorrow, but it keeps creeping into my mind.

Tiny100 Tue 17-Dec-13 16:41:11

X-post Wren - 31st Jan is not so bad, maybe a sore start to the New Year, but at least Christmas plans won't be messed up.

Tiny100 Tue 17-Dec-13 16:42:44

My BCN is lovely and sends me a text each time I am due to go for chemo, then one after asking how it went. But I am not really sure what role they really play in the grand scheme of things......

malteserzz Tue 17-Dec-13 17:28:47

Tiny are you thinking of 31st December rather than January ?

Wren such a tough decision I'm sorry you've been put in that position, only you can decide I honestly can't say what I would do

Tiny100 Tue 17-Dec-13 17:48:14

Opps yes Malt, I thought the revised date meant it was sooner not later! Gah, brain is clearly not in gear today. Double Gah, for the NHS.

GoodnessKnows Tue 17-Dec-13 18:01:09

Tiny, I'm thinking of you. I imagine that this must be a very anxious time - waiting for the results.
Wren, when do you need to decide by (re dates)?

Gigondas Tue 17-Dec-13 18:09:28

Scan was good as shows things healing gringrin and treatment ok.

Wren personally I would reject 23 on grounds that you are unlikely to have full staff in over Xmas (I know that it's meant to be but don't tell me that consultants are doing rounds of anything but golf on 27rh). I know new years is also holiday but it's not quite the same (plus I hate New Years so hospital seems as good a place as any to spend it).

Yay for Santa tiny.that sounds lovely day.

Had a lovely time in France - lots of eATing and shopping. When I was away, big gig lost her first tooth!

Tiny100 Tue 17-Dec-13 18:21:29

Thanks Goodness.

Great news Gigs, I am really pleased for you. You make a great point about staffing levels, however I think I may have confused everyone by thinking Wren had been offered the 31st Dec, when it was 31st Jan!

kitkat1967 Tue 17-Dec-13 19:12:06

glad your scan was OK gigs and that you had a good time in French France.

Wren - are you going for reconstruction as well - and if so did you decide on the DIEP or the implant? If it's the implant you'd probably be out on Xmas day and be reasonably well but obviously not for the DIEP.

I've just come back from seeing my surgeon and we're going ahead with 17th Jan. I'll put the details on the reconstruction thread but just to say he told me not to start Tamoxifen at the start of Jan as planned but to leave it until a week or 2 after the Op - he said it would make no difference. Oh and I won't need any drains smile.

Wren48 Tue 17-Dec-13 20:46:02

Glad your results are good, gigs. That's so great; what a relief. You asked how long i have to decide on op dates: just til tomorrow (unfair i feel, given they've only just told me). Definitely double gah NHS.

kitkat, I had planned the DIEP reconstruction, but right now I'm even thinking about implants as I would get out earlier! But then I would feel triply bad if I was held on longer and missed Christmas anyway.

I don't think, treatment wise, that I can afford to leave it until the end of January.

GoodnessKnows Tue 17-Dec-13 21:03:15

Gosh. That's not long to decide. Are you going to sleep on it?

kitkat1967 Tue 17-Dec-13 21:13:29

Wren - I don't think you should settle for a reconstruction method that you don't want because of this issue - you have to live with the new breast(s) for a long time. Presumably the hospital would not be allowed to delay to a point that it was a risk to your health.

If it was me I would go for 23rd December on the basis that there will be many more Christmas Days but I know that is not for everyone.

Is it the reconstruction side that is making getting a date difficult? I know you need a plastic surgeon for the DIEP procedure so waiting is longer.
Or can you have a temporary TE put in and go back for the reconstruction (that's what I have done)? Also if you have implants option will you be able to have the DIEP done later - I've been told I can do this if in a few years I change my mind but I am private so not sure if NHS would give you a second go (so to speak).

Wren48 Tue 17-Dec-13 23:04:16

These are all good questions, kitkat, and just what Ive been thinking about. The nhs covers all the options you mention, I think, so that's perhaps a real choice. I might try to chat to one of the plastics team tomorrow to ask about temporary implants and DIEP later. A lot of surgery, though, and there's the risk of a bad decision under pressure.

As you say, the tricky thing is getting both surgeons lined up - the breast surgeons are the less available, it seems.

Thanks for your support.

malteserzz Wed 18-Dec-13 08:51:52

Morning all
Hope everyone is ok
Wren good luck with making your decision today
Tiny I think you have MRI results today so good luck
And I think Goodness has a biopsy so good luck to you too

Apologies if I've got any of that wrong, blame the chemo brain !

I'm off to watch ds in his school church service, he's doing a reading. I will probably cry !

Gigondas Wed 18-Dec-13 09:02:13

Morning all - brew?

Wren good luck with thinking on decision.

Tiny-lots of luck and big hand hold from me for results.

Got to finish cards ,wrapping and shopping list (it's all prepare in advance and easy cook as I will be flat on sofa under the tax truck as treatment. Dh needs to be on present building,though not made the mistake of last year with lots of stuff to build, and battery changing).

GoodnessKnows Wed 18-Dec-13 09:30:33

Thank you. Thought I was doing ok this is the easy bit. But feeling teary n nervous. Enjoy the church service. I've heard of an amazing waterproof mascara called Blinc. Waiting for mine to arrive. Think I'll be needing it. Lovely moments make me cry more than usual.

Gigondas Wed 18-Dec-13 09:47:18

Oh hugs goodness. It does get easier but go with the waterproof mascara for as long as needed.

Apologies for chemo brain, but when are you next seeing dr/op? You need a plan of treatment as loads Easier to focus on treatments than what ifs.

And stay away from google and the daily fail x

holstenlips Wed 18-Dec-13 10:00:51

Good advice Gig re google and the Daily Fail!! A sure way to scare yourself senseless.
Good morning to everyone. How are we all doing?
Keeping up with everyone is tricky but I hope you are all doing as well as can be expected at this time of year with all this crap on top to deal with!
Im waiting (literally by the phone) for brain mri results. I had an mri Saturday due to a now 4 week headache and weakness on one side. Unfortunately on friday I collapsed at work and had fits. Now im signed off work and just waiting!!

GoodnessKnows Wed 18-Dec-13 10:07:22

Lolling at the Daily Fail.
Ha ha
Will take water. All tips appreciated. Have called secretary of consultant to find out when I should make an appointment. No answer. As usual. Not first time. Other day I called to leave a message n broke down crying. She still didn't get back to me. I know there are other people but it's hard.
They told me last week and today I'm having a biopsy cos they were in such a bloody hurry to get results before Xmas (why?). So why then aren't they booking me for a follow up. Think I can answer my own question: they'll call me when results are in and will make room for me in their diary. Serious and rare tumours apparently get that priority. Lucky ole me.

Lilymaid Wed 18-Dec-13 10:14:27

Christmas card etiquette ...
Do you do as I have done and shove in ( in between the stuff about holidays and general mishaps) the fact that you have had cancer diagnosis/treatment?
We send a very short note every year to those we don't see regularly - we've moved around a lot - so this is sometimes the only communication we make with some old friends during a year.

Gigondas Wed 18-Dec-13 10:31:41

Holsten read about your fit- you poor thing. Got everything crossed for you that all ok.

Sometimes goodness you have to keep ringing and re ringing. Unfortunately gp reception disease can affect other medical admin staff. Don't feel bad about being persistent as you need answers .

Marshy Wed 18-Dec-13 11:58:59

Fingers crossed for everyone waiting on results. It really is vile.

Am having a sofa day today, mostly. Have been overdoing it and scared myself senseless yesterday that I had got an infection in my boob. Am just overtired and achy.

Marshy Wed 18-Dec-13 12:01:42

Lily, re Christmas cards I solved the dilemma by letting dh write them all. I have no idea what he wrote but I suspect it was not very much!

Lilymaid Wed 18-Dec-13 12:17:15

Our round robin is always very short but this year's has been rather heavy on the health stuff. My cancer only got as many words as DH's finger op ... (one short sentence).

I solve the Christmas card dilemma by not sending any at all. Only hand deliver a few family ones with presents. I'm a lazy sod.

malteserzz Wed 18-Dec-13 16:11:19

Church service was nice this morning, managed not to cry even with little donkey and away in a manger
Dh at his works do tonight and staying over so quiet night in for me. Drove for the 1st time since my node clearance today and was ok so freedom beckons !

RunRunRuby Wed 18-Dec-13 18:13:18

lily my mum and dad mentioned my cancer in their Christmas letter last year. My mum wasn't sure but we decided it'd be weirder to leave it out given that it was one of the biggest things that had happened to us that year! We'd already told close friends and family, and others if/when we happened to see or speak to them.

goodness I hope you get some answers soon! I was a rare case too, it's like being a medical celebrity. When I went to A&E doctors kept coming up to introduce themselves, "I've heard so much about you, it's nice to finally meet you" hmm on the upside though, everyone will remember your case so when you phone they're less likely to need to go and find your notes before answering questions! Plus you'll likely get the absolute best team.

marshy hope you've had a relaxing day. It's easy to overdo it in the rush to get back to 'normal'

holsten the fit sounds terrifying, good that you're signed off work, hopefully you're able to rest/relax a little, although not at all easy with results hanging over you - I hope you've had news by now?

wren I hope you've reached a decision you're comfortable with, such a lot of pressure, not what you need when making such an important decision!

I hope everyone is having a good evening wine

I don't want to speak too soon, but my bowel finally seems to be calming down from surgery/chemo fsmile

malteserzz Wed 18-Dec-13 18:38:36

Bumping for Kitkat who has lost us grin

kitkat1967 Wed 18-Dec-13 18:58:40

Well I found you all but only by using the link at the bottom of the previous thread so I have no idea what I have done. Anyway put into Watch list so should not happen aagain.

Seems like a Christmasy day for most of you then - glad carol services and nativities went well.

I took DCs (and friends) to see Catching Fire this afternoon and they all enjoyed it although there some complaints about the rather abrupt ending.

Marshy Wed 18-Dec-13 21:08:53

Malt, away in a manger always has me in floods - you did well to keep your composure!

Ruby, is that you? New name!

I had my first cornet lesson tonight. The brass band lady arrived at my door looking like a drowned rat in all the wind and rain and then had to leave to play for (hopefully appreciative) shoppers at Sainsburys. I played 5 notes. Very pleased with myself smile

kitkat1967 Wed 18-Dec-13 21:13:04

oo Marshy how exciting. With 5 notes you must surely be able to play some simple tunes. I hope you are going to practise every day grin.

RunRunRuby Wed 18-Dec-13 21:23:32

Ah yes sorry should've said, Christmas name change fblush

Gigondas Wed 18-Dec-13 21:33:16

Very good it is to see you too rubysmile.

I don't bother with how I am in cards- those that need to know do and I leave it at that.

difficultpickle Wed 18-Dec-13 22:01:41

I started my own thread but thought that someone on this thread may be able to help. I've got blood cancer and need to have chemo to kill off some cells before I have chemo for a stem cell transplant.

I've been told the chemo will be done as an inpatient and will take a week with another two weeks after that in hospital to monitor whether it has worked. So three weeks in hospital.

I've only ever heard of chemo where you go as a day patient and go home after your treatment. Has anyone had any experience of inpatient chemo?

weebarra Wed 18-Dec-13 22:37:15

Hi all, and welcolme to the new people. Hard 3rd cycle todqy then went off to sign our wills. Festive fun eh! Have to come in on xmas eve for day 8 bloods. They 've fiddled with the anti-ems, not sure whether I feel more or less sick. Certainly still sick.

malteserzz Wed 18-Dec-13 22:38:03

Difficult pickle welcome, sorry but I can't help with the inpatient chemo though I've just finished chemo myself. Have they given you any idea how poorly you will feel ? I guess you need to stock up on reading material, things to watch etc to keep you occupied

Ruby like the name change smile

Marshy well done you'll be playing carols in time for Christmas !

Watching gogglebox it does make me laugh

malteserzz Wed 18-Dec-13 22:39:29

Weebarra glad you've got another chemo done hope you don't get sick

Kitkat you seem to have found the thread again did you work out what you'd done ?!

Beamur Wed 18-Dec-13 22:46:38

Hello there! I've popped into these threads before and now must visit again grin. My Mum has fairly recently been diagnosed with a recurrence of breast cancer, has now had a mastectomy and apart from a large hiccup with severe wound infection and abcess, the prognosis for physical recovery seems good. However - one problem I'd appreciate the perspective of anyone here with - she has mild dementia, and has been prescribed Letrazole for 5 years as a preventative re the cancer. The effect on her memory seems pretty catastrophic at the moment, it's not clear yet how much of this is being caused by the problems she has had post-op or indeed if her dementia has worsened, or if it is due to the Letrazole. Has anyone else been prescribed this and had real difficulty with memory? Are there any preferable drugs to try over this one? The hospital are willing to try her on other treatments once she is fully healed from this latest surgery. Thanks.

trice Wed 18-Dec-13 23:05:11

Pickle, hello and welcome to the thread. I know a couple of people who have had to have stem cell treatment. They are both doing well.

I think the main thing about keeping you in hospital is the infection risk as they damage your immune system so drastically. I remember that we couldn't visit and they wouldn't let children in due to germs.

I hope you have Internet. You can chat to us and we willcheer you on.

Tiny100 Wed 18-Dec-13 23:06:43

Evening All!

I hope today's biopsy went smoothly today Goodness. Do you know when you will get your results?

Holsten - Thinking of you.

Like Marshy I am leaving card writing to OH, which means no-one will probably be sent one! grin

Welcome Pickle, sorry I don't have any experience of inpatient chemo. I know it does happen as at my last round the Chemo Sister's next victim patient was an inpatient, and she was going down to the ward to administer it.

Wee - another one ticked off. Signing wills make a change from signing Christmas cards - you sound very organised! Hopefully your be able to get sleep soon and will wake up feeling a bit better.

Oncologist was really please with my MRI results - the tumour has shrunk by over 50% in size and enlarged lymph gland has also reduced in size. He said what was left may not even be cancer - here's hoping. I was really worried that something would flag up on my shoulder like it did on my last MRI scan - looks I am in it for the long haul on that front and I won't get an answer for a long time.

Beamur Wed 18-Dec-13 23:07:59

Pickle - my Mum used to stay overnight in hospital with her chemo (previous bout of cancer 10 years ago) but it took quite a long time and she occasionally needed a blood transfusion too.

trice Wed 18-Dec-13 23:09:54

Beamur, I am on letrazole. I haven't noticed any mental effects. My only side effects are hot flushes and sore joints.

Have they tested your mum for urinary infection? Common after operations and play merry hell with memory problems.

Gigondas Wed 18-Dec-13 23:13:45

Yes difficult I had inpatient chemo - bit tired to post now but didn't want you to go unanswered. shared the ward with lots of blood cancer patients.

There was another poster with blood cancer- over the mill but not seen her in a while ( for good reasons I think as she finished chemo).

Beamur Wed 18-Dec-13 23:13:52

Thanks trice - I don't think so, but she's just had a week on IV antibiotics and 2 weeks oral ones so I reckon any bugs in her system have been zapped. My worry is that perhaps her underlying dementia has worsened - she was writing some cards tonight and stopped as she couldn't remember her name, and then asked me if it was 'Beamur'. She's living alone (although I'm nearby) and despite the dementia was working and managing very well by herself until this all happened.

Gigondas Wed 18-Dec-13 23:14:44

I love gogglebox too malt- who are your favourites?

kitkat1967 Wed 18-Dec-13 23:33:00

Yes malt I had hidden the thread (so all my own fault) and it took a while to work out how to un-hide it.

I have recorded Gogglebox tonight but my favorites are the 'posh couple'.

GoodnessKnows Thu 19-Dec-13 07:15:04

Marshy, how's things (the boob )?
Kitkat, I also managed to hide this thread (lifeline) the other day. Think the hide button is sometimes positioned where the Flip button is.
Wow to not crying at nativity play thingy.
I can only remember the name of the person whose comment I've read last. But I remember the comments - so please apply as relevant:
Yup. I do feel like a celebrity - or at least a celebrity 's relative. I've gone from (secretary saying): " oh I couldn't possibly know / there are no notes to say whether anything is wrong, he'd just like to see you before Xmas." To, "Ah yes, I do know who you are.". Makes it easier as I'm not known for my tolerance / patience (ask my DH). Lol
I saw a few Bloody Useless people yesterday but the people actually doing important stuff to me were good.
The BU included : member of consultant's team who:
Tried to talk to me from behind so that I'd have to twist my entire body round to speak to him. Derr
Forgot to discharge me
Forgot to remove pad things from my arms once discharged.
Just moaning cos I'm DEPENDENT on these people. Like reeeeeally dependent.
Oh, and the person (consultant) who hadn't told them it was to be done under general anaesthetic. Big deal to me!
There's no way my shivering body could've laid still to have a biopsy on my back. I was so scared ( before going under ) that I was literally shivering, teeth chattering.
What an old moany-boots I am!
Now, The Wait. Apparently 7-10 days. Then there's Xmas. BUT, despite being impatient. (See above), if I hear before then, it'll be BAD news. And I need to know about the nerve path stuff.
Basically , I don't neeeeedd to know anything, do I ! It's not in MY hands. I have to let go of bloody control (v v v v v v hard) as whatever it is, I'll be told what they'll do , when, how, where, recovery , etc.
I think I trust the main guy but want a second opinion. But I've no information to take to anyone. So I sit and wait. Thank GD for Xmas. A merry distraction - most of the time.

GoodnessKnows Thu 19-Dec-13 07:21:40

Please excuse my really superficial moan here, but ... the internet doesn't work in hospital!!!! How am I supposed to use mumsnet while 'on holiday' there? What's the point of having private insurance if... I jest. But seriously, hope I'm not in too long and can keep Mumsnetting as my lifeline.

Gigondas Thu 19-Dec-13 07:37:37

Goodness that isn't superficial at all!

Have you got an iPad or tablet? If so it's possible to tether your iPad to phone so have net access. Also you will appreciate the private room you get with health insurance as will be better to relax.

Bad things about spinal ops: they will terrify you with what can go wrong when consent you , it will be scary waking up in icu as may have breathing tube in(which hurts your throat), as it will be longer op you will have anaesthetic hangover and will feel like can't move as anaesthetic makes muscles slow to move. They may have to put clips in if worried spine unstable cos of tumour.

Good news: spinal surgeons have lots of tech and skill- hey do this all the time so risks will be kept to minimum (if they can help me they can help you - my neck was pretty knackered but it worked), physio and nurses will get you moving again quickly and pain relief will help ( but actually after initial op , pain goes quickly). Clips are fine (may be bit stiff ) and don't set off airport scanners.

I like posh couple on gogglebix but also Brixton ladies.

GoodnessKnows Thu 19-Dec-13 08:06:29

Lots of info
Waking up in Intensive scare (lol - typo but soooo appropriate I'm laughing out loud)!!!!!!!!
Scares me shitless.
Still laughing at typo though
Tubes, hand things, chest straps, sounds like torture. Torture enough not to go n get my usual cup of options when I like, let alone being strapped down, drugged n operated on, having to get up after, etc.
(Cries in corner seriously scared).
Have told my DS (6 ) that I have a lump into back that is like the yukky lumps in the soup I make. He agrees that it's not nice and I should get it out - sort of. Told me it wS normal, everyone has one and it's cos I'm still growing, at first. Bless.

GoodnessKnows Thu 19-Dec-13 08:11:45

My iphone was receiving email but not MN.

Gigondas Thu 19-Dec-13 08:14:51

Lol at 6 year old. Intensive scare less scary than you think. Main difference between that and normal recovery is you have nurse dedicated to looking after you rather than one between a few of you.

Also tubes start coming out as soon as you come round. They take breathing tube out ( but they may do that anyway as I only had one left in for neck op- never had it for other ops still in). The only other line is cannula for fluids and sometimes an arterial line but that usually comes out ASAP after come Round (and may Be out already or not needed as I think it depends on the op).

weebarra Thu 19-Dec-13 09:46:48

Hi all! No actual vomiting chez Barra after cycle 3. The stupid amounts of anti emetics must be doing the trick.
Currently in bed with a snoring/feeding wee-est barra (four months tomorrow) as I have finally relinquished control (see *Goodness, not just you) and allowed kind friends to do the school run.

GoodnessKnows Thu 19-Dec-13 09:51:42

Aha. Less scary. Hmmm. Alright I'll believe you as you've been there n done it and I'm just imagining it ;)

Wren48 Thu 19-Dec-13 10:40:30

Beamur, my mum (80) had a mastectomy last year. She doesn't have dementia, but she was much more confused than usual for a fair amount of time (a few months?) after the operation and general anaesthetic. We just reckoned that she was very knocked back by it all, and things have improved for her since. It might be worth giving your mum a little time to bounce back. The operation is a really big deal and it sounds as though she's had a lot extra to deal with through the infections. Good luck.

Tiny, great news! A real pre Christmas treat.

Wren48 Thu 19-Dec-13 10:47:14

Sorry, I hadn't realised I wasn't in the last page so didn't respond to any of the latest.

Glad that you're being taken seriously, Goodness, even if there are some BUs on the team.

Gigondas Thu 19-Dec-13 11:17:16

Sorry tiny missed your news last night-am so pleased its good news even if shoulder still a mystery.

Hope you are still snuggled up wee-glad you are letting others take the strain.

Waiting on my mother -she wants to take big gig to build a bear as Xmas treat and I have to come. It's going to be horrendous isn't if?

difficultpickle Thu 19-Dec-13 13:36:42

Thank you for welcoming me. I realise I need to find out more, not least of all in order to answer my 9 year old's many questions. I assume I will have chemo daily for a week but I have no idea how that daily dose will make me feel.

According the email I've just got from the hospital I will be on a course of chemo called 'DA' which is a combination of two agents - cytarabine and daunorubicin. I will need to be in hospital as it apparently causes bone marrow suppression and low blood counts.

I'm worried about the effect it will have on ds if he cannot visit me. London hospital said he could visit but local hospital said he can't. I wouldn't want to choose an option that meant I couldn't physically see ds for 3 weeks sad

Both hospitals have wifi thank heavens.

malteserzz Thu 19-Dec-13 14:24:27

Hope you are not suffering too much in build a bear gigs !

Pickle that would be tough not seeing ds for 3 weeks though bet it will go quicker than you think

I have my date to get the results from my node clearance, just before new year so at least I can enjoy Christmas 1st

GoodnessKnows Thu 19-Dec-13 17:32:00

Gig, how was Build a Bear. Get sucked into 'accessorising'? Lol

Gigondas Thu 19-Dec-13 18:13:13

Sadly yes- I am traumatised ( although it was grandmas gift to big gig). It's a pretty pony complete with sound effects , stink smell and outfit..

malteserzz Thu 19-Dec-13 18:24:02

I didn't know they did smells ! grin

GoodnessKnows Thu 19-Dec-13 18:45:58

Smells? Horse manure? Lolling
Question ladies , what do I say to those who ask at husband's work Xmas family do tomorrow? No idea what to say to questions as simple as 'how are you?' 'What you been up to?' 'What are your plans for Xmas?' There's only one topic on my mind.

malteserzz Thu 19-Dec-13 18:59:32

Goodness Id just keep it vague you don't have to tell them and especially not at a social do. Might be nice for you to have an evening just being yourself if you know what I mean

Gigondas Thu 19-Dec-13 19:30:55

Say nothing or be vague as malt said.

grin At horse manure- think big gig went for popcorn but it was sickly stuff like bubble gum, cupcake etc

weebarra Thu 19-Dec-13 21:18:27

Being vague works! I had a night out just after diagnosis with some people who "knew" and some who didn't and it was really nice to be me, rather than me with the cancer!
Gigs -lovely time at build a bear then. my boys have never shown an interest so hopefully wee-est barra won't either!

GoodnessKnows Thu 19-Dec-13 22:39:49

Vague it is then. Have a nice dress to wear. Hair straightened. Make up ready n off I'll go ;) May even convince DH to let us mooch around Hamleys for an hour.
At first, I really didn't get the 'pass the tea n cake' stuff. Now I'm kinda getting it.

foofooyeah Fri 20-Dec-13 04:24:38

Hmmm looks like the old insomnia might be back!

Just popping in to catch up on news. Nothing new to report from me.

I watched goggle box for the first time tonight and found it very funny. Like posh couple and Brixton ladies too, but also the siddiques: the man with his 2 sons. And the older couple in the floral armchairs.

GoodnessKnows Fri 20-Dec-13 06:31:57

I'm awake every night from either 2 or 4 am. Then tired again at 6... when my DD wakes up!
What's this program everyone's talking about, Googlebox? Feel like in missing out. Lol

malteserzz Fri 20-Dec-13 07:44:29

Gogglebox is on channel 4 it'll be on catch up if you have that. I love the posh couple with their extensive drinks cabinet and Leon and June who are the older couple. She's always rolling her eyes at him!

Feel sad today, it's the end if term here and everyone's so happy and looking forward to Christmas. I'm so jealous and that's not nice is it ?

GoodnessKnows Fri 20-Dec-13 08:40:27

I can understand how you feel. I'm actually glad of Xmas. Because it'll help to distract me. I think. What I don't like is the question: What have you got planned over the holidays? I don't know the answer. I know what I HAD planned. To relax. To enjoy. Not to distract myself while waiting for RNOH to call me in to discuss THEIR plans for finding my usual insomnia (2-4 or 4-6) hard now as I lie there knowing why I ache. It's not the bloody mattress after all ;(

trice Fri 20-Dec-13 11:08:05

Goodness, I love the BBC radio iplayer for those four in the morning, brain churning like a washing machine moments. The mundane chuntering of radio 4s You and Yours is better than sleeping tablets to me.

I am feeling really good at the moment.

It's my wedding anniversary tomorrow. 17 years of being married to my best friend, lover and own personal super hero. I am very lucky. I have bought him a bar of his favourite soap.

BetsyBoop Fri 20-Dec-13 11:57:41

trice it's lovely to hear you in such good spirits. I remember you were struggling so much back when I was first diagnosed (but still on here offering advice and support smile ) so it's brilliant news that you are doing so much better now smile smile smile

(I too stick R4 on in the sleepless wee small hours, it always sends me back to sleep!)

<waves hello> to old and new faces on here. Sorry I haven't been posting much on here lately, I have been thinking of you all, reading and keeping up with your news.

malteserzz Fri 20-Dec-13 13:47:51

Goodness have you considered sleeping tablets ? Not sleeping makes everything seem worse, I've been on them on and off through my treatment

Trice it's great you are happy smile

Been to the hospital, all healing fine and no seroma. I just have a little pain sometime on the underside of my arm but she said that's due to nerve damage and is normal.

Marshy Fri 20-Dec-13 14:42:44

Hi all, a quick hello from me.

Malt, good to hear everything is healing ok. You're really missing work aren't you. Must be great to have a job that you love that much

Trice, lovely to hear that you are feeling good. Your dh sounds lovely.

Betsy, how are you doing on the tamoxifen?

Goodness, hope you are feeling ok today.

Saw my boss and colleagues yesterday for a nice meal out. I'm on track for back to work in 2 weeks. Don't feel ready - eek!

Marshy Fri 20-Dec-13 14:44:19

Have been wondering about really and handbags....not heard from them lately....

BetsyBoop Fri 20-Dec-13 15:33:35

Marshy - I'm having hot flushes, but not that many more than I was during/after chemo. I'm also suffering a bit with achy joints, but not sure if that's the remnants of the tax truck (as was suffering before tamoxifen), the cold/wet weather (have had achy hips and knees for as long as I can remember in the cold/damp), the tamoxifen, or a combination of all of them! grin Other than that nothing so far, but still early days I guess (2+ weeks) - How are you getting on?
I will need to start thinking about planning my return to work shortly (I'm assuming I'll get my rads dates at the planning session on Tues) - and much as I have missed it, it's a bit scary to think about going back isn't it? It's like saying everything is "normal" again, when in fact things will never be "normal" again, well not the old "normal" I had, I guess we need time to adjust to the new"normal".

BetsyBoop Fri 20-Dec-13 15:35:15

and I pressed post before I said...
malt - I'm glad to hear everything is healing up nicely. smile

Lilymaid Fri 20-Dec-13 17:46:11

I've also got achy joints with Letrozole - some days OK, but other days (especially when tired) I take ibuprofen.
Still feeling a bit nauseous - and have terrible heartburn, which is apparently common with/post-chemo. Anyway, this means I'm still losing some weight which is good for me.
My Oncologist is waiting until I've been on the hormonal pill for 3 months, then having me scanned and deciding then whether I shall have rads, so I won't be having those until February, if at all.
I'm quite worried about going back to work full time as I am still very tired and 12 hour days out of the house 5 days per week will be very hard.

reallyreallyworried Fri 20-Dec-13 19:21:41

Hi all

marshy I'm still around, just finished work for the year!! Although just worked a 60+ hour week! Luckily it was full of great Christmas activities, but must admit I was glad to finish tonight!

Sadly I can't really start my Christmas break properly until Monday lunchtime. Have an oncologist appointment on Monday. Luckily it is an early one, so he shouldn't be running late she says hopefully

Sorry I haven't really had chance to keep up with posts this week. So can't really comment on anyone in particular. But hope everyone has been enjoying the build up to Christmas. (not long now)

I still need to pack my bag ready to go to my parents, but I really don't have the energy right now! So that'll have to be tomorrow's job.

Hope everyone has a great weekend. Mine will include a much needed lie in and hot choc and cake with a friend fsmile xxxxx

Beamur Fri 20-Dec-13 22:34:32

Wren48 - thanks for that, useful to know - my Mum has been through it these last few months, so hopefully given time she will recover more - it's just so sad and frustrating to see her like this. On the plus side though, she seems mostly unaware of it though and is very cheery!

GoodnessKnows Fri 20-Dec-13 23:53:09

Haven't thought to listen to R4. How would I do that without waking DH? Ideas welcome ;)
I have had a wonderful day- family Xmas party. So lovely. A whiz around Hamleys, too. Given a parking ticket for being 1 minute over - literally! I told the traffic warden my current medical 'status', showed them a picture (phone) of the consultant's verdict and let them look down upon the confused faces of my 6 and 3 yr old. They ripped the ticket off. Hell - there have got to be some benefits (children didn't hear me).
On the other hand, I took my DS wall climbing this morning and had to climb to the third tier of a car park because the blummin' ticket machine was out of order - wearing a sign that said I needed to. Was really f€$ed off. I was easily able to walk there. My symptoms are confoundedly negligeable. What angered me was fear. What'll I do when I'm not able to drive, walk to the meter, take my son to school, have the pleasure of watching my DC in their activities, make sure that they get there, earn so that they can...
Gd I sound depressive. Think I am a bit. Wonderful day was crushed by twi loving friends calling to see 'how I was doing'. Now, on any other day that'd have been like a lifeline. Today, after the Xmas festivities bad distraction of Hamleys, it brought me crashing down to a reality of my imagination and fears.
Still, was a wonderful day and I'm looking forward to plenty more days of fun bad distraction over Christmas.

GoodnessKnows Sat 21-Dec-13 07:17:11

Been up since 4 width 'achey hip'. Just pit 'sarcoma' into MN search engine and scared my own pants off! Came up with stuff like 'miss him so much'. Jeeeez.
Note to self: do NOT google this stuff, not ever, never ever - eeeeveb on MN. Full stop

BetsyBoop Sat 21-Dec-13 07:42:57

seriously don't google, most of the stuff you find is way out of date (even five years old can be way out of dates as treatments are moving so fast these days) If you really must look choose reputable sites like MacMillan (not that you need to as they think yours is benign, they generally have a pretty good feel for these things - I was told they really didn't like the look of mine and they were right - but obviously only your biopsy will give a definitive answer)
The waiting for results and treatment plan bit is truly shite, and we all empathise with how crap it is, but, honestly, itdoes get a bit easier once you know what's what and you have your plan.

BetsyBoop Sat 21-Dec-13 07:47:09

Re R4, I put the volume really low, it's never woken DH yet, but if your DH is a light sleeper do you have any headphones? (or you can buy special pillows with speakers in!)

Ledkr Sat 21-Dec-13 07:59:48

Do not google, everyone is different.
Can you get some herbal nytol? They work well.
I mn or read if I can't sleep.
Tamoxifen ladies, in not gate crashing, I'm visiting.
Had my brca2 positive results recently so am off for ovary removal sine tine soon. No big deal as I've already had "the big one" or two in my case grin
Pre op assessment Monday which will mean I get to finish work early yay!

malteserzz Sat 21-Dec-13 08:20:44

Morning all
I think we all say don't google but we can't help ourselves sometimes ! I know I do it and always feel worse especially if it's in the middle of the night
Ledkr good luck with your op, is ovary removal a big op I don't know much about it. How long ago did you have BC. ?

I've decided wine is the answer, was not depressed last night and slept well grin

Gigondas Sat 21-Dec-13 08:37:51

Good for you malt.

Goodness- I have sarcoma . The stuff on the net (as with A. Lot of medical stuff) Is extreme and out of date. If you are at rnoh, you are going to get the best care there possibly is. I had my second op there -care couldn't have been better. Ask away if you are scared or pm me love if it helps. Malt is right that losing sleep does nothing for being rational .

Ledkr-grin at getting out of work early. I saw you on another thread so was wondering how you are doing. At least if you have this dine you will be dealing with the brca bad odds I assume.

Really-hope you get a good rest over Xmas, eek at 60 day week.

I better get up as got tons of wrapping to do -dsis visiting later and also got acupuncture to perk me up ( this helps with insomnia).

Anyone else looking forward to the strictly final?

Gigondas Sat 21-Dec-13 08:38:17

Rnoh not moh.

GoodnessKnows Sat 21-Dec-13 08:54:02

Not rational. Moi? You've noticed? Lolling

GoodnessKnows Sat 21-Dec-13 08:56:20

Why am I under the sarcoma centre if they think it's benign? That's what I'm wondering. It's a rarer than rare tumour and has gone into my spinal canal. Still can't get my head around it ( hence dull repetition - apologies). WHY DO I FEEL FINE THEN? Can't (won't) compute.

GoodnessKnows Sat 21-Dec-13 08:57:01

Pillows with speakers. Like it!

GoodnessKnows Sat 21-Dec-13 08:59:07

Ledkr I hope the op goes smoothly for you without too much discomfort. Do you have a date? Hate that question. Sorry.

GoodnessKnows Sat 21-Dec-13 09:02:00

Yes. I'm under RNOH. Hope the consultants are better than the building - if that makes sense ;) felt like I was in a zipped up prefab. I know it's no holiday, but... how the heck do people who find it hard to get around even park in walking / hobbling distance if the 'bit' (really) of the hospital they're trying to find. What a wagmire. I'm bejng v superficial here. It's all I've got to go on. (Smiles weakly).

Gigondas Sat 21-Dec-13 09:09:06

It's a pit of a building isn't it? But they are very good at care.

Who is your consultant ? Sarcoma as I understood it covers about 70 plus cancers/ other conditions . Some of which may be benign. More relevantly you need the specialist team who get tumours out of small spaces every day so your referral may be as much to do with how it is treated as anything else.

GoodnessKnows Sat 21-Dec-13 09:18:37

I think that's exactly it.

Ledkr Sat 21-Dec-13 10:12:05

You lot are always so welcoming despite my poor attendance.
I had bc twenty years ago at 26 so bit unlucky.
I had the other boob removed as a preventative.
Always meant to get tested but had boys at the time so didn't bother.
I have two girls now (so have finished with my ovaries) so decided to get tested.
Surprisingly pretty devastated at the results but for me no question of getting the buggers out.
They will take my Fallopian tubes too but not womb as I've had four sections which makes hysterectomy a bit risky.
No date as yet just pre op on the 23rd which I have renamed "pre baileys" as I shall open a bottle after!
Hope you are all bearing up and my twenty years offers you all some positivity xx

malteserzz Sat 21-Dec-13 11:33:31

20 years is great Ledkr ! Though awful that you had it at 26
Definitely gives us a bit of hope as there seems to be so many sad stories around at the minute so thank you for posting
I love baileys too, sneakily looked to see what the inlaws have bought me for Christmas and it's coffee baileys so I'm looking forward to opening that

BetsyBoop Sat 21-Dec-13 11:54:11

naughty malt, no peeking, Santa won't come you know!

Ledkr Sat 21-Dec-13 12:07:12

And all the women who had it when I did are ALL still here. Some had node involvement too.

malteserzz Sat 21-Dec-13 12:57:14

smile Ledkr

Betsy we only looked because we knew they were bottles and thought it would save buying duplicates, dhs is gin !

GoodnessKnows Sat 21-Dec-13 15:38:39

Ledkr, was going to pass you a bottle opener but it's a twisty cap, isn't it. I'm shining up your glass in readiness. It's sparkling.

GoodnessKnows Sat 21-Dec-13 15:43:32

By the way ladies, is it normal under these circumstances ('The News' & awaiting results) to spend shit-loads (most appropriate adjective) of money on clothes. Since last Wednesday: two pairs of boots, dress and jumper in Reiss, etc. I feel like Pretty Woman met The Hungry Caterpillar. Lol

GoodnessKnows Sat 21-Dec-13 15:44:16

PS have bought far more than stuff listed but am too embarrassed to say.

Marshy Sat 21-Dec-13 16:04:30

Betsy, I'm definitely having flushes on the tamoxifen, mostly just one at night which wakes me up, but sometimes little ones in the day also. The broken sleep will be a pain when I'm back at work, so am hoping this side effect wears off. I am a bit achy also but have arthritis and am off my usual meds atm, so I'm guessing it's that.

Having lost a bit of weight, I've been on a bit of a clothes spending spree which I've really enjoyed. I've also been on the hunt for a bra which will accommodate my lovely (to me) familiar 50 yr old boob and my new rather surprisingly pert silicone boob (or pinky and perky as I like to call them grin ) and be both comfortable and even out my shape. Found one in M&S which has memory foam in it, so I've bought 3. It's all getting a bit expensive!

GoodnessKnows Sat 21-Dec-13 17:23:17

That IS expensive. But bet Pinky and Perky feel right at home in the foam!

goodness I did something similar, though probably didn't hit my credit card quite as hard as you sound to have done! I went a bit mad on Christmas shopping for DDs too.

kitkat1967 Sat 21-Dec-13 18:18:58

Hello everyone. I'm back from my trip to see Matilda and then on to friends in Chiswick (waved to Gigs on my way). Had a lovely couple of days - the kids were great and we took things quite steady so no rushing around. Was also great to catch up with friends and for the first time in a long time I felt well and part of my 'old' life.

Goodness - I spent loads on clothes in the early days - not helped by the fact that my onc office is by some lovely shops and as they have parking so I would visit onc then spend an hour in the shops. As it happens not going into the office has meant that I needed more casual clothes so everything has been worn (honestly).

I also went a bit mad on DS and DD birthdays but not so much for Christmas (probably because 6 months on I feel a bit more sane).

Marshy - I'm still excited about my surgery (17th Jan) but I'm hoping to end up with Perky and Perkier. Not yet sure if I'll need new bras or not as not sure what size I will end up. Did you have to wear sports bras to start with and if so how long did that last for?

Wren48 Sat 21-Dec-13 18:23:48

goodness, when I first got my diagnosis I spent a fortune. Don't regret anything, although I'm not sure when I'm going to get to wear it all. The impulse wore off, I'm afraid; it was a really fun distraction...

GoodnessKnows Sat 21-Dec-13 18:28:12

Yup. Many have benefitted from my meeting with the consultants a week n a half ago. My DS' teacher got £35 leather gloves (wouldn't even buy them for myself) and I burst out crying when my cleaners (pls don't slate me) gave me a present for us n for the children this morning. I'd been so far up my own, erm, arse, that I'd forgotten to get them anything. I was actually completely unaware that Christmas is actually in FOUR days! I've since been out and bought them both perfume. What happened to the usual choccies I buy? And I'd already contributed to the teacher's collection. Hey ho. Makes looking after him and with everything that's soon to kick off, her understanding and support of him will be even more important to us all. He's (as yet undiagnosed) high functioning autistic.

kitkat1967 Sat 21-Dec-13 18:36:35

Hi Wren - I've been away for a few days so may have missed your info but did you make a decision about your Op?

malteserzz Sat 21-Dec-13 18:43:38

Kitkat glad you had a great time smile good job you weren't at the theatre with the falling ceiling !
I have a poorly ds, was sick this afternoon and is in bed already. Glad he waited will Id finished chemo anyway. He always seems to be ill this time of year I think it's the long term

kitkat1967 Sat 21-Dec-13 18:46:05

Malt - we were at The Cambridge theatre which is just round the corner from The Apollo so saw all the emergency vehicles when we came out but didn't know what it was for until later.

Wren48 Sat 21-Dec-13 19:15:07

Hi kitkat, thanks for asking. I'm going for the op on the 23rd. I rather gave up posting about it as I felt so miserable, but when it became clear that I had no choice (not a good idea to wait another month), I pulled my socks up, pulled out all the stops and now we're having Christmas tomorrow very wholeheartedly. But oh boy am I tired...

Apart from Dd who has just complained she's not feeling excited enough. Just can't do much about that right now.

kitkat1967 Sat 21-Dec-13 19:20:15

Good luck for Monday then Wren. (I think it's a good decision although you're right it does feel like your hand has been forced). Are you expecting to be in for about 5 days?
And hope you have a great Christmas Day tomorow fgrin.

Wren48 Sat 21-Dec-13 19:23:52

Thanks, kitkat. I think 5 days is realistic, but I'm secretly hoping to do marvellously and be let out sooner. Mind you, I'm so tired I could probably sleep for the full 5 days!

Marshy Sat 21-Dec-13 19:23:53

Good decision wren and good luck with it

Kitkat, will reply tomorrow on the recon thread. Off out now to a comedy night and taking ds with us. He thinks we are going to a carol concert and is a bit grumpy. I love winding up the teenagers <evil grin>

Gigondas Sat 21-Dec-13 19:56:01

Good luck wren and happy christmas for tomorrow. Here is hoping you get out earlier...

Back to strictly - lovely Alijas sorry abbey lost my vote as she over she the soft rock in the show dance.

GoodnessKnows Sat 21-Dec-13 19:56:52

Good luck for Monday, Wren. Almost Christmas for you then. That's exciting. I hope it's a fabulous one!

malteserzz Sat 21-Dec-13 23:03:19

Wren have a lovely Christmas tomorrow and I hope Santa comes early especially for you !
We had an early Christmas Day last year though for a nicer reason and it did feel like the real thing smile

Wren48 Sat 21-Dec-13 23:04:15

Thanks all! Stockings filled and all asleep. fsmile

BetsyBoop Sat 21-Dec-13 23:11:12

Merry Christmas to Wren for tomorrow and good luck for the op smile

foofooyeah Sat 21-Dec-13 23:21:13

wren happy Christmas for tomorrow and good luck for Monday.

grin at marshy and her fooling her teenager

Big wave to everyone else as too tired to post more

reallyreallyworried Sun 22-Dec-13 05:53:48

MERRY CHRISTMAS wren fsmile hope you and your family have an amazing day xxxx

Good luck with your surgery xx

Hope everyone is having a good weekend. I had a 'mixed' day yesterday. Few tears about my friend sad first Christmas without her and with everything that's been going on. Plus working full time, I hadn't really given myself time to think about it. maybe that was intentional

So yesterday the realisation that she won't be celebrating Christmas with her boys, hit me! Along with the fact that this will be the first Christmas in over 20 years that I won't chat with her on Christmas day sad

I went shopping yesterday and bought a 'special' candle which I will light on Christmas morning. But what I really want right now is to be able to hold her in my arms, and tell her how much she means to me, and how much I miss her.

So can I take this opportunity, to say God Bless all the precious angels who are not around to celebrate Christmas, in person with us this year. But that we will be thinking of them and wishing their families and loved ones all the best wine

Hope it was okay to say that. Don't want to upset anyone. But needed to share xxxxxxxxx

GoodnessKnows Sun 22-Dec-13 08:56:55

Hand holding, Really. That is really hard and very sad. Christmas is particularly hard without someone we love.

malteserzz Sun 22-Dec-13 09:41:47

Really of course it's ok to say, I'm sorry you miss your friend the candle sounds a lovely idea
When are you off to your parents ?

Hope wren is having a good Christmas Day

Dh is doing the big Christmas shop this afternoon I am leaving all of the shopping and cooking to him this year I think he's quite excited about it !

GoodnessKnows Sun 22-Dec-13 10:09:00

Pass the mince pies, Wren!

reallyreallyworried Sun 22-Dec-13 10:20:05

Hi malt I hopefully travel home tomorrow at 2! Assuming hospital app runs to time!!

Just waved my work family off! Lots of hugs and kisses! fsmile Children were so excited.

Now feeling a bit down! Need to try and keep busy, although I think tears are allowed after the year I've had. So I won't be too hard on myself!

Sounds like your DH has things in hand malt although I'm sure once he hits the supermarket he'll soon lose enthusiasm fwink but at least he'll know what you usually go through! Xx

malteserzz Sun 22-Dec-13 10:41:06

Really if you want to cry then cry sometimes it makes you feel better afterwards rather than holding it in
Will be lovely for you to go home for Christmas smile

Lilymaid Sun 22-Dec-13 11:52:12

Hurrah - finally placed the Waitrose delivery order (coming tomorrow).
Both DSs will be at home together tonight - first time for about 1.5 years!
Also trying to be positive and banishing the horrible thoughts of is this the last time ...
Trying to negotiate a time when everyone will be in together so we can have a nice roast this evening.

Tiny100 Sun 22-Dec-13 12:34:17

MERRY CHRISTMAS Wren - hope you are having a lovely day. I think you definitly made the right decision. Best Wishes for your op tomorrow.

Trice - I hope you had a wonderful anniversary yesterday.

{{{Hugs}}} to Really and everyone else who is missing a loved one this Christmas.

Waving hello to everyone else and will catch up later. This thread is moving at great pace and my chemo befuddled brain is having trouble keeping up with it all. xx Hopefully the fog will pass soon. xx

Tiny100 Sun 22-Dec-13 12:53:41

It is always good to hear positive stories Ledkr. Good Luck with your pre Bailey's appointment tomorrow. I am due to have genetic testing in the NY. When my oncologist gets round to writting a letter to my GP and the GP refers me etc, etc.

kitkat1967 Sun 22-Dec-13 13:43:26

Happy Christams day to Wren - hope you are having a lovely time.

Our tree has just gone up fgrin (as decorating now finished!!).

Marshy Sun 22-Dec-13 15:23:22

Kitkat - have posted on the recon thread for you.

Happy Christmas to Wren and hi to everyone else.

Lily, must be lovely to have your ds's with you.

Hugs for really

I hope everyone has a happy time. It's a funny time of year isn't it, happy and sad both together. I'm missing my mum this year - first Christmas without her - but determined to have a nice time, because y'know life's just too bloody unpredictable, isn't it.

Comedy club was good last night and ds enjoyed it. I am off to a proper carol concert tonight to sing in the choir, and he isn't coming grin

wren hope you had a lovely Christmas today. My DCs would be jealous, Christmas can't come soon enough for them!
Good luck with your op tomorrow.

really hugs to you. Enjoy the time at home with your family.

I've chemo tomorrow afternoon, #4 AC, that will be halfway point for me. It's at 2pm, so hoping to do a M&S shop in the morning. Just for the veggie stuff.
I got a bonus week since they pushed it out a week. I felt totally well this week, with almost normal levels of energy. I got loads of things done, including good tidy up of kids bedrooms and toy room. Kids had sleepovers at home this weekend, while I've got this energy. And now those bedrooms & toy room are no longer tidy!

malteserzz Sun 22-Dec-13 19:06:39

Lily I hope you're having a lovely evening with your ds's. I am the same with the worry that it could be the last Christmas but try not to dwell on it

Mom good luck with both the m and s shop and the chemo tomorrow

Kitkat glad you have your tree up now

Dh and dd did a great job with the food shop lots of yummy stuff in the cupboards and fridge now. We all watched the nativity and the snowman today just wish it was a normal Christmas without bloody cancer being here too

Tiny100 Sun 22-Dec-13 20:24:44

Mom - I didn't realise you and I were chemo buddies! I did my 4th round of EC on Thursday and am now halfway through too. Hope all goes well for you tomorrow and the Xmas steroids spirit gives you a lift for the big day. Do you hit the Tax in the NY too?

Lily and Malt - so glad it is not just me thinking the unthinkable. Malt - how did your op go? Do you have your results soon?

Enjoying singing tonight Marshy - that little kitten of yours seems like it is doing his/her job of keeping your spirits up.

I will have to start taking a look at the surgery splinter group. Have an appointment with my consultant on the 27th, not sure what about as chemo is on-going till March, perhaps he just wants to wish me a Happy New Year grin

tiny nice to have a chemo buddy! Yes, I'll start Tax in Jan, and finish mid march, if no more delays. Ha ha, never though of the effect of the steroids on Xmas day.

I'm having a few glasses of red wine tonight, as taste buds will be off for at least a week. Hopefully I'll manage some bubbly for New Year's Eve. That is just over a week away. Yikes!!

Tiny100 Sun 22-Dec-13 22:04:44

Clink, clink Mom winewine enjoy it while you can!

Tiny100 Sun 22-Dec-13 22:07:32

Meant to ask, what is next for you after the chemo? (Apart from a nice long holiday!)

Radiotherapy, around 5 weeks. Then Tamoxifen for 5 years.

Well, maybe not. I will do genetic testing in new year. There is very high chance that I will be BRCA. If so, then I'll opt for double mc, and get my ovaries out.

forgot to add, I had lumpectomy in Sept. So unless I'm BRCA, my surgery is behind me.

Tiny100 Sun 22-Dec-13 22:21:19

The next for me is surgery then rads.

I am also going for genetic testing in the NY, although Onc has told I am unlikely to have the BRCA gene. (I am eligible due to my age 40< and that I have TNBC.)

Tiny100 Sun 22-Dec-13 22:23:02

Fingers crossed surgery is behind you Mom.

trice Sun 22-Dec-13 23:06:22

I am very excited about going to the panto tomorrow, I get to embarrass my kids by being over enthusiastic. It is part of our Christmas tradition and I always really enjoy it. Other adults think I am mad. They are probably right.

Really and Malt, I cry all the time, it would be weird if I didn't. But I am also trying to enjoy the life that I have rather than regretting not having the life I planned. I try. I don't alway succeed!

I had genetic testing which showed nothing. I was pleased for my sister and Dd but I kind of wanted to find a reason fo