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Tamoxifen bus shelter -42

(991 Posts)
Gigondas Mon 09-Sep-13 22:00:45

Dragging trolley onto new thread.

KurriKurri Mon 09-Sep-13 22:13:33

<Plonks slightly chewed croissants on trolley> I also have viennese whirls and almond slices on offer.

NJ sorry you are having problems with your skin, - flexitol is supposed to be good for cracked skin - I have used the flexitol foot stuff for cracks to good effect and they do a hand one as well (although I imagine the foot stuff would work on hands too). I would try some moisturizing hand wash as well - like E45 or something. I also use Eucarin cream/lotion for dermatitis/eczema -it might help with cracked hands too.

topsyturner Mon 09-Sep-13 22:16:57

<drags my delicate , Princess And The Pea (thanks Gigs) into new thread>

Oooh croissants ignores Old Lady Dog teeth marks

notJenkins Mon 09-Sep-13 22:19:49

Marking my place.

I will try flexitol on my cracks thanks kk

can I apologise in advance as I have just taken my last tablet for 16 days and I will be a miserable wreck for the next few weeks. As well as being physically crap I may go a bit mentally odd too so feel free to ignore me.

I am still amazed after funding out kk and I went to the same school. Small world.

topsyturner Mon 09-Sep-13 22:25:50

Ach nj , you can be as miserable as you want to on here !

I'm constantly amazed by the coincidences I discover in life .
(Amazed by the fact that KK actually went to school ..... grin )

notJenkins Mon 09-Sep-13 22:27:37

And I will be on a low iodine diet so don't go tempting me with your iodine laden snacks now ........

KurriKurri Mon 09-Sep-13 22:35:06

<beats topsy with a wet fish> - of course I went to skool grin

Yes NJ and I have reminisced about a particular pervy teacher trying to look up our skirts grin

<hugs> for crapness to come NJ, hope you don't feel too lousy.

amberlight Mon 09-Sep-13 22:37:56

<picks her way between discarded wet fish and peas> Ha, nice new thread!

NJ, fear ye not; they've put up with me for years and I can't even blame drug stoppages blush. Hope it's better than you fear.

Gigondas Mon 09-Sep-13 22:52:10

Least you have an excuse Nj. I can get the hump for no good Reason.

I need to hear more about pervy teacher. Is it like b,one at our school who invited girls to sultan and harem parties ?

Not hopeful about my bedtime getting earlier so may have to go get a snack.

foofooyeah Mon 09-Sep-13 23:38:57

just marking place ... to drunk to post much else, n=must go tobed

Shootingatpigeons Mon 09-Sep-13 23:56:16

I just did a long post on the other side.................... ok quick catch up. My undercarriage is twisted, Mary Rose is dead good. We only had in the whole of our girls' school one weirdy male teacher who made us draw picture of sheep's skulls all the time, he still managed to find a sixth former to run off with confused

jchocchip Tue 10-Sep-13 06:54:58

Marking place smile. Got to go to work sad

Gigondas Tue 10-Sep-13 06:56:11

Saw your post pigeons-am grin at big pigeon not stinking. But surprised Elton John no good as I liked him when I saw him love (goes under my general heading of older acts being better live).

It's a brew day here- bad night sleep not helped by fact I keep rolling on my sore arm in my sleep. Mr gigs has threatened to tie me up in my sleep to stop that.

But got some woo lined up today- acupuncture and reflexology so I will be all calm and new age later.

Gigondas Tue 10-Sep-13 06:56:27

Morning jchoc

jchocchip Tue 10-Sep-13 07:00:54

Morning gigs! Enjoy your woo smile

malteserzz Tue 10-Sep-13 07:21:52

Morning all
Didn't slept very well so planning on doing sod all today, judging on last cycles today till Thursday will be when I'm feeling most rough. Might even get some downton watched later
Kids both at after school things today so once they've gone I have peace till 430 ! Hopefully !
Hope everyone has a good daysmile

reallyreallyworried Tue 10-Sep-13 07:57:54

Morning all,

Sorry to hear a few of you had a rough night. Hope you get to rest today.

I finally managed to sleep right through smile although I'm in a bit of pain under my arm today! But I hope that just means that things are healing.

I had a text from my bosses yesterday, it made me cry! They have been so amazingly supportive, and caring. As have some of my nanny friends. Really am looking forward to getting back to work, and to lots of hugs and kisses from my little 'trouble makers' grin

Wanted to say thanks for the 'hug' Kurri it was very much needed and appreciated. I didn't realise how hard dealing with all these different feelings would be. You have all shown me so much kindness, and I hope that as I go through my journey, I will eventually be able to help others through theirs!

Hope you all have a good day! Wishing relaxing thoughts to all those who need them today! Hope the non sleepers manage to rest today.


ooh,new thread-well done gig - enjoy your woo treatments !
husky good luck with first day
nj the Neutrogena is working for me quite well now (the comfort balm is nice) and I use Waitrose baby bottom butter on my feet as they are v dry. I have Aveeno and Diprobase on prescription but they don't really work and the diprobase stuff smells of hospitals.
Am meeting a facebook friend for first time today - exciting !

picture eek -that does sound a bit traumatic - hope all is well and that it's safely in the right place and you can go home.

Gigondas Tue 10-Sep-13 08:44:15

Really your op was last weds? Pain will be bruising as I always think you get a blip about week in as bruising sets in and painkillers often start to drop as out of hospital and ga has well and truly gone. hope you are glued to sofa today like malt.

Malt is it sleeping or tv? Have you finished downton yet? I was same as you on chemo - ok for first few data then wiped out for About next 5 days then ok.

Waiting on Gp now for repeat prescription - he is always late so I took a leaf out of mas book and got a coffee at waitrose to take with me. Enjoy FB meeting.

reallyreallyworried Tue 10-Sep-13 09:00:16

Hi Gigs yes surgery was Wednesday Evening. I have slightly reduced the pain medication, but think for the next few days. I might just keep dosed up! Definitely a day on the sofa for me! smile xx

KurriKurri Tue 10-Sep-13 09:54:18

Bless you really - you have been through a hell of a lot, physically and mentally, and nothing really can prepare you for it, - I tended to find that you can do stiff upper lip and get through the surgery etc - and you think you are coping, then some little unrelated thing will make you burst into floods of tears. - The emotion has to be released somewhere, and actually I think crying is quite good for you - releases endorphins and all that.

I'm glad your bosses have been supportive, and going back to work will be something to look forward too smile
I agree with Gigs - the pain will be bruising, - they are not gentle when they operate, and also they have your arm pinned over your head for ages so that alone affects all your muscles round there, even before you allow for the surgery.

Anyway - hope you are feeling a bit better today - have you got lots of nice treats lined up? - some good books/mags and DVDs? Take things easy xx

Enjoy your day of woo Gigs - sounds nice and relaxing ,<plays appropriate hippy music and wafts incense around>

Hope all those awake early aren't feeling too tired and manage to catch up on sleep. Mary Rose sounds good Shooting - is it out of the constant water spray now (I know I heard something on the news recently but I've forgotten what it was). Sorry to hear your undercarriage is a double helix.

DH had a pervy teacher at his school, - used to ogle them in the shower (needless to say he was a games teacher), apparently he was eventually sacked in disgrace and prosecuted shock then disappeared (The school joke being 'he was last seen floating down the Forth clinging to a buoy')

waving to all.

malteserzz Tue 10-Sep-13 09:59:24

Mas enjoy the meet !

Really lovely people are being so supportive, I've found the same mostly had a lovely text from someone I work with last night which came just at the right time when I was feeling low smile there are a couple of people I am surprised have not heard more from but maybe they dont know what to say

Gigs think will be bit of dozing and bit of tv watching, am in bed but will get up in a while. Think I've seen 2 of the 3rd series of downton so just got the rest to go

Hate this everything tastes funny time, had pineapple last time which helped but the other night I had some and it seemed to irritate my mouth and throat, could be sucky sweets today instead

KurriKurri Tue 10-Sep-13 10:08:25

Enjoy your meet up MAS smile

Shootingatpigeons Tue 10-Sep-13 10:55:50

MAS enjoy meeting up.

gigs am jealous of woo (ipad just tried to correct that to wee, but then with my double helix I should probably be jealous of that too, though to be honest I don't have any problems that lots of people have after two children have stretched things a bit.) I really have to do some self indulgence stuff, did lots whilst on chemo but since, I have gone back to experiencing northern Protestant ethic guilt about being indulged.

really another coping mechanism is self indulgence, massage, yoga etc. anything that feels nurturing for your body when it is being assaulted by the treatments is good. malt just did the Looking Good, Feeling Good course offered at many hospitals and really enjoyed it, and the freebies....

KK They have finished the spraying and now have these big tubes blowing warm air on it to dry it out. Already you can see the oak as it would have been. I think this stage goes on for four years? Then they will remove the tubes and the wall with viewing windows and you will be able to get up close. I will definitely go again then. There was a panel about the volunteers who dived the site in the 70s. I felt like telling everyone, that was me!!!

Serious gardening day today, just putting on my grubbiest clothes as have manure to spread, who needs the gym grin

Shootingatpigeons Tue 10-Sep-13 11:05:10

gigs I think that over 40s still enjoy Elton because his 70s/80s songs have lots of resonance but they are too far back for a 21 year old whereas chic songs are still a staple of the party discos, she loved village people last year grin

smee Tue 10-Sep-13 11:18:53

Page 2 of new thread already? shock Budge up..

Picture, that sounds horrid. How are you today? Hope okay and not too sore/ traumatised.

Good to hear you're feeling a bit better Worried. Keep doing the exercises. V.important <stern> x

Have a good meet up, MAS. Hope she's sane. grin

Kurri and NotJ went to reform school together?? My who'd have thought it. grin

No time as usual. Work piling up. Big pot of coffee on the stove for any who want to distract me. smile

BetsyBoop Tue 10-Sep-13 11:22:50

just making my place, failing struggling to keep up as usual!

really - take things easy, glad your employers are being supportive smile

picture - sounds like you had a bit of a mare, hope you are home now and feeling better

gigs enjoy your woo

mas enjoy your meet up

malt - take it easy and spoil yourself on your "bad" days, it helps to know when it will end smile

ooh get topsy and her perfect undercarriage grin

kitkat - hope you are okay, not seen you around for a while - isn't it results day this evening? Everything crossed for as good a news as is possible.

nj - hope you find something that works for your sore/cracked bits - I generally have very dry hands (thanks for that Dad - he often had chapped hands in the winter as he worked outside) - we both swear by neutrogena norwegian formula for keeping them soft and supple, but you do have to keep at it.

notj at least you have a good reason if you are a moody cow, unfortunately I haven't got one...grin

Well I was at the hospital yesterday for my six monthly glaucoma check and my pressure has gone up a bit, boo. So a second set of eye drops now needed. Probably due to steroids I've been taking, consultant said it may or may not settle down again after chemo... The bad news is he wants to seem me again in 6 weeks (as if I'm not at the bloomin' hospital enough as it is...) to check the pressure has reduced but the good news is when I worked it out that will be this point in the cycle after my LAST chemo, so that cheered me up. It seemed such a long time at the start but now I can almost see the end if I squint hard enough (with my good eye of course!)

<waves> to everyone else and sorry if I've missed anyone's update shocking memory

KurriKurri Tue 10-Sep-13 11:44:58

For NJ's benefit, I must point out we didn't go to school together - she is much younger than me! grin - we went to the same school. Astonishingly some of the ancient teachers who looked on the verge of disintegration when I was there, were still going strong when NJ went grin

Shooting - I would love to see the Mary Rose again when you can get close up - I last saw it about 7-8 yrs ago, and although I rather liked the atmospheric weirdness of it being behind glass and sprayed, I'd really like to get a proper look, its an amazing piece of history.

Betsey - I didn't know you had glaucoma, what a pain for you - and I'm sure the cancer treatments do interfere but hopeful that will settle again once you finish. My Dad was DX with glaucoma in his fifties (quite by chance after he had a fairly serious accident to his eye) so I get my eye checks free, - last time I had to keep re-doing one of the tests, but they concluded it was OK in the end. I'm due to go back for a routine check soon as my glasses aren't right.

I'll have a brew Smee if you're making one. (I have cheese bagels which I'd like you all to eat so I don't scoff them, as my diet has gone slightly off track over the last couple of days)

My computer is being very dodgy today the box thingy that the cable goes into seems to be falling apart (sorry to confuse you all with technical terminology grin) and it keeps switching off. So if I mysteriously disappear, it will be because its broken down.

KurriKurri Tue 10-Sep-13 11:49:04

Ooh meant to say - DH came home last night with a gigantic carrier bag full of lovely cooking apples - someone was selling them for 50p a bag outside their house. They aren't grotty windfalls either - they look as if they've been picked from the tree. So if the rain stops I will go out nd get some blackberries to go with them (not looking hopeful atm though)

Shootingatpigeons Tue 10-Sep-13 12:02:02

KK I could send DH over to make you a nice manpie (see fbook pics) wink

KurriKurri Tue 10-Sep-13 12:13:59

I have seen the man pie Shooting, - tempting as it looks grin I think I will just stew the apples with blackberries and cinnamon (as that is my favourite and all those unsubtly mentioning apple crumble can bog off)

She who peels and cores the apples chooses the recipe*

*ancient proverb

I've got breast cancer and am now on Arimidex. The side effects are bad, not been able to get my rings off as my fingers are so swollen and it takes ages in the morning to get my legs going as they also seize up. Anyone else on this one which is fairly new?

BetsyBoop Tue 10-Sep-13 12:17:08

KK I have "secondary" glaucoma in one eye only as a compilication of the treatment I had for a retinal detachment in that eye in 2008 (I thought I'd done my "share" of health issues after four ops and lots of lasering, injections and general fannying about trying to sort my eye out, but apparently not...) I'm a known "steroid reactor" (apparently about 5% of the population are - steroids in any form can push eye pressure up) - so I'm hoping things should settle down once I've been off the steroids for a while. MIL has "proper" glaucoma too , so lots of free eye tests in this house grin

pigeons I still keep giggling at every mention of manpie, it was a fabulous looking pie! grin

BetsyBoop Tue 10-Sep-13 12:17:10

KK I have "secondary" glaucoma in one eye only as a compilication of the treatment I had for a retinal detachment in that eye in 2008 (I thought I'd done my "share" of health issues after four ops and lots of lasering, injections and general fannying about trying to sort my eye out, but apparently not...) I'm a known "steroid reactor" (apparently about 5% of the population are - steroids in any form can push eye pressure up) - so I'm hoping things should settle down once I've been off the steroids for a while. MIL has "proper" glaucoma too , so lots of free eye tests in this house grin

pigeons I still keep giggling at every mention of manpie, it was a fabulous looking pie! grin

BetsyBoop Tue 10-Sep-13 12:29:06

well no idea why that post appears twice....sorry...

smee Tue 10-Sep-13 12:36:35

Grabbing cheese bagels from Kurri. smile

Betsy, glaucoma doesn't sound like any fun. What a sod to have that ongoing too.

Hello Nana I'm not on Arimidex, but get similar aches. Could be Tamoxifen related in my case, but I've been taking B12 - you need Amber to tell you what doses/ why as she's good at all that, but it's made a massive difference for me and my aches and pains are a lot, lot better.

Thanks Smee, will wait for Amber's advice as suggested

Gigondas Tue 10-Sep-13 13:16:49

grin At the man pie and looking forward to the man tart that must surely follow as its tart week on gbbo so that will surely inspire mr pigeons. Is it time yet to enter him on the next master chef?

Kurri the stewed apple sounds lovely. Did anyone catch the spice men programme yesterday? They were putting star anise in apple crumble. But was as nothing to the polite but disgusted reaction to their cucumber sandwiches with chilli salt.. It must have been vile as it roused mr gig from car Geeking on the computer to make some fairly direct observations on how such a programme got made as he could have done much .

he is right as could do same far cheaper by just using mini gig to fetch a random selection of spices from cupboard and whack it on any food lieing about.

Nicks some of smee brew before my next woo session.

amberlight Tue 10-Sep-13 13:33:52

Hi Nanafantastic! Not sure that I'm much of an expert on Vit B12 etc with this particular drug but I'd agree that a good ordinary extra daily dose of it can make a difference for some people.

Well worth talking to the Onc and team about the swelling and stiffness, since they have potions that may well help with some of it. It's a very common set of side effects with Arimidex, yes.

Meantime, brew? One for anyone else?

BetsyBoop Tue 10-Sep-13 14:20:56

gigs I saw the spice men and had similar thoughts about the cucumber sandwiches, most of their stuff I fancy trying like the star anised apple crumble, but chilli salt on cucumber? bleurgh...

thanks for the brew amber - hope you and DH are fully recovered from that nasty virus now?

malteserzz Tue 10-Sep-13 14:34:31

Quiet day here, saw the dreadful Katie Hopkins on this morning and now working my way through the 3rd series of downton smile
Bit concerned about the wind hoping it dies down for later when Ive got to collect ds, may be hat instead of wig hair seems to be coming out again now after a couple of weeks reprieve

Shootingatpigeons Tue 10-Sep-13 15:06:22

malt Why do they give that woman oxygen? She makes money out of being obnoxious and a disgrace to our sex, like that Brick woman as well angry.

nanafantastic I can't take arimidex because I have the early stages of osteoporosis but my Consultant had an array of other drugs developed that do a similar job, I would mention the side effects to your doctor as they may be able to address the symptoms or use a different drug?

Cucumber and chilli are a common pairing in Chinese cooking, I often use up my cucumbers with this , it's a bit more sophisticated than dumping chilli salt on cucumbers though. Trouble is TV executives commission programmes because of the way people look not how much they know about food, like that silly model woman that has had two series now. I wish they would give a programme to someone who really knows their stuff like Fuschia Dunlop or Kaushy Patel

Oh no! not tarts week on gbbo, there will be no stopping him. Last night he cooked a nice roast chicken but the mashed potato had lumps in it the size of a potato and we have a potato ricer confused

Shootingatpigeons Tue 10-Sep-13 15:06:28

malt Why do they give that woman oxygen? She makes money out of being obnoxious and a disgrace to our sex, like that Brick woman as well angry.

nanafantastic I can't take arimidex because I have the early stages of osteoporosis but my Consultant had an array of other drugs developed that do a similar job, I would mention the side effects to your doctor as they may be able to address the symptoms or use a different drug?

Cucumber and chilli are a common pairing in Chinese cooking, I often use up my cucumbers with this , it's a bit more sophisticated than dumping chilli salt on cucumbers though. Trouble is TV executives commission programmes because of the way people look not how much they know about food, like that silly model woman that has had two series now. I wish they would give a programme to someone who really knows their stuff like Fuschia Dunlop or Kaushy Patel

Oh no! not tarts week on gbbo, there will be no stopping him. Last night he cooked a nice roast chicken but the mashed potato had lumps in it the size of a potato and we have a potato ricer confused

Shootingatpigeons Tue 10-Sep-13 15:06:28

malt Why do they give that woman oxygen? She makes money out of being obnoxious and a disgrace to our sex, like that Brick woman as well angry.

nanafantastic I can't take arimidex because I have the early stages of osteoporosis but my Consultant had an array of other drugs developed that do a similar job, I would mention the side effects to your doctor as they may be able to address the symptoms or use a different drug?

Cucumber and chilli are a common pairing in Chinese cooking, I often use up my cucumbers with this , it's a bit more sophisticated than dumping chilli salt on cucumbers though. Trouble is TV executives commission programmes because of the way people look not how much they know about food, like that silly model woman that has had two series now. I wish they would give a programme to someone who really knows their stuff like Fuschia Dunlop or Kaushy Patel

Oh no! not tarts week on gbbo, there will be no stopping him. Last night he cooked a nice roast chicken but the mashed potato had lumps in it the size of a potato and we have a potato ricer confused

Shootingatpigeons Tue 10-Sep-13 15:06:31

malt Why do they give that woman oxygen? She makes money out of being obnoxious and a disgrace to our sex, like that Brick woman as well angry.

nanafantastic I can't take arimidex because I have the early stages of osteoporosis but my Consultant had an array of other drugs developed that do a similar job, I would mention the side effects to your doctor as they may be able to address the symptoms or use a different drug?

Cucumber and chilli are a common pairing in Chinese cooking, I often use up my cucumbers with this , it's a bit more sophisticated than dumping chilli salt on cucumbers though. Trouble is TV executives commission programmes because of the way people look not how much they know about food, like that silly model woman that has had two series now. I wish they would give a programme to someone who really knows their stuff like Fuschia Dunlop or Kaushy Patel

Oh no! not tarts week on gbbo, there will be no stopping him. Last night he cooked a nice roast chicken but the mashed potato had lumps in it the size of a potato and we have a potato ricer confused

Shootingatpigeons Tue 10-Sep-13 15:06:31

malt Why do they give that woman oxygen? She makes money out of being obnoxious and a disgrace to our sex, like that Brick woman as well angry.

nanafantastic I can't take arimidex because I have the early stages of osteoporosis but my Consultant had an array of other drugs developed that do a similar job, I would mention the side effects to your doctor as they may be able to address the symptoms or use a different drug?

Cucumber and chilli are a common pairing in Chinese cooking, I often use up my cucumbers with this , it's a bit more sophisticated than dumping chilli salt on cucumbers though. Trouble is TV executives commission programmes because of the way people look not how much they know about food, like that silly model woman that has had two series now. I wish they would give a programme to someone who really knows their stuff like Fuschia Dunlop or Kaushy Patel

Oh no! not tarts week on gbbo, there will be no stopping him. Last night he cooked a nice roast chicken but the mashed potato had lumps in it the size of a potato and we have a potato ricer confused

Shootingatpigeons Tue 10-Sep-13 15:06:31

malt Why do they give that woman oxygen? She makes money out of being obnoxious and a disgrace to our sex, like that Brick woman as well angry.

nanafantastic I can't take arimidex because I have the early stages of osteoporosis but my Consultant had an array of other drugs developed that do a similar job, I would mention the side effects to your doctor as they may be able to address the symptoms or use a different drug?

Cucumber and chilli are a common pairing in Chinese cooking, I often use up my cucumbers with this , it's a bit more sophisticated than dumping chilli salt on cucumbers though. Trouble is TV executives commission programmes because of the way people look not how much they know about food, like that silly model woman that has had two series now. I wish they would give a programme to someone who really knows their stuff like Fuschia Dunlop or Kaushy Patel

Oh no! not tarts week on gbbo, there will be no stopping him. Last night he cooked a nice roast chicken but the mashed potato had lumps in it the size of a potato and we have a potato ricer confused

Shootingatpigeons Tue 10-Sep-13 15:06:31

malt Why do they give that woman oxygen? She makes money out of being obnoxious and a disgrace to our sex, like that Brick woman as well angry.

nanafantastic I can't take arimidex because I have the early stages of osteoporosis but my Consultant had an array of other drugs developed that do a similar job, I would mention the side effects to your doctor as they may be able to address the symptoms or use a different drug?

Cucumber and chilli are a common pairing in Chinese cooking, I often use up my cucumbers with this , it's a bit more sophisticated than dumping chilli salt on cucumbers though. Trouble is TV executives commission programmes because of the way people look not how much they know about food, like that silly model woman that has had two series now. I wish they would give a programme to someone who really knows their stuff like Fuschia Dunlop or Kaushy Patel

Oh no! not tarts week on gbbo, there will be no stopping him. Last night he cooked a nice roast chicken but the mashed potato had lumps in it the size of a potato and we have a potato ricer confused

KurriKurri Tue 10-Sep-13 15:16:17

Sorry Shooting - I didn't quite catch that - did you say something?


malteserzz Tue 10-Sep-13 15:22:45

Lol I didn't quite catch that either grin

Just had the sad bit in downton sad

Thanks for the 5 replies shooting! I did mention to the onc but she said to give it time. I didn't know about the B12 so will look into that.

Sorry Amber, just seen your post, thank you, will pursue more assertively with oncologist as it is quite debilitating.
And yes, brew would be most welcome!

KurriKurri Tue 10-Sep-13 15:48:08

Hello nanafantastic - sorry I don;t know much about arimidex - although i do have friends who take it and they have like you had quite a few side effects. I can't add to others info. but just wanted to say hello and welcome smile

Woooohooo new thread! Looks like we will be on another new one soon if shooting carries on posting grin

I'm tempted by the chilli salt on cucumber. I love cucumber dipped in salt. Not a fan of sandwiches though, they creep me out a bit grin

I had a fabulous bagel for lunch, red onion and chive bagel with two cheese singles (the slices in plastic for burgers blush) and yellow tomatoes. Scrummy smile

After months of fobbing me off, bowel nurse decided to speak to surgeon about me, my lovely one is on leave but equally lovely colleague wants to see me urgently for an examination under anaesthetic so that's booked for Monday! Next week is going to be a bit of a busy week as I'm seeing the GP on Tuesday and then my geneticist on Thursday to finally get results of gene sequencing and hopefully find out which of the three conditions I have, and to what degree. I might need a bit of handholding for that one please smile as all are quite horrid, and put me at risk of other cancers. I'm resigned to it but I think having it confirmed out loud might be a bit difficult.

Tonsillitis does not seem to be improving much, in fact my throat actually hurts now but I'm not sure how long to wait before going back. One GP said anti biotics should start working within about 72 hours, and I guess I need it gone before the GA on Monday!

Sorry that was all very me me me.

nana no experience at all but I hope they can sort it out as sounds very debilitating. No idea if it's safe or helpful but have you tried sleeping with your feet up on pillows to see if that helps seizing up in the morning, had different leg issues for a while and that seemed to help. Apologies if not appropriate x

Was it betsy who asked about the chillow on the last thread? I saw someone mention it but forgot to respond. My aunt has one as she gets very hot at night and loves it, she brings it with her when she visits us.

malt I hope the wind calms down for you.

KK am envy of apples. I like to eat cooking apples sliced raw with a little sprinkle of brown sugar.

amber if the brew can be hot chocolate I'd love to join smile

Waving to everyone and hope you're having a lovely day. It is so chilly and autumnal isn't it smile

Thanks KK!

Thanks Ruby, will try anything and also the chillow sounds good as I'm getting really bad night sweats too. Any idea where I can get one?

amberlight Tue 10-Sep-13 16:03:14

Hot choc and handholding aye

KurriKurri Tue 10-Sep-13 16:09:17

nana - they have chillows on Amazon - about £30. I find cotton sheets and feather pillows are cooler too (although I know not everyone gets on with feathers). I have a fan beside my bed as well - so I can switch it on for a few minutes if I get too hot.

Ruby - will hold your hand firmly - sounds like next week will be quite a tough one all round. Loads of love sweetheart, I'll be thinking of you xxxx

PictureThis Tue 10-Sep-13 16:13:29

I'm home. My neck is VERY sore, but it would be as they were furtling about in it for the best part of 2 and a bit hours. Xray today shows portacath is where it should be which is great otherwise I may have had to shoot myself if faced with the prospect of going through all that again! I made a complete fool of myself in recovery, bawling like a baby when I came roundblush. Crap nights sleep last night despite a shed load of drugs as each time I moved my neck hurt. I'm hoping tonight will be better, fingers crossed.

smee Tue 10-Sep-13 16:24:17

I just listened to that Tamoxifen item on Women's Hour from last week. Can you tell I'm supposed to be working. Interesting if depressing, as acknowledging how grim the side effects are, but they don't see to have much clue how to help us. hmm

Ruby, huge hugs and as much hand holding as you need. Sounds like a v.tricky week ahead. xx

Picture, hooray you're home. Take all the pain killers. Hope it's easier to sleep tonight. At least you're home. That's a step in the right direction. smile

malteserzz Tue 10-Sep-13 16:50:35

Ruby id go back to the docs tomorrow if you're no better,you don't want it dragging on and like you say you want to get better for next week. You will have all of our hands to hold x

Picture glad you are home of course you didn't make a fool of yourself it's only natural to be upset . Hope you get a bit of sleep tonight

Didn't have to pick ds up as he decided not to to his after school activity as he would be the only boy grinso he walked home, now have a garden full of 10 year old footballers as usual

I have the opposite problem at night my head is cold think as the weathers changed and I've got less hair, I had to abandon my silk pillowcase as it was freezing and tried sleeping in a turban thing but it was too hot

Kk how are you getting on with FB have you got in touch with anyone interesting ( apart from us lot of course) I like to see what old school friends are up to

KurriKurri Tue 10-Sep-13 16:58:10

malt - so far I've only got in touch with people I know and see fairly regularly anyway (and all of you of course) grin - I tried looking up some old school friends, but some I lost touch with will probably have different names now if they are married.

Picture - don't be embarrassed about the crying coming out of anaesthetic - I often do that, - I think its a normal thing that lots of people do.

Shootingatpigeons Tue 10-Sep-13 17:12:16

Sorry about that, no idea why it kept posting, it had only posted once when I last looked, [confused} Lets see if I repeat myself again

Nana I have the full cooling bed set, a memory foam mattress topper with coolpad as well.

Thank you to everyone who answered me, but looking at the various posts I feel quite embarrassed and self centred when its clear some of you are going through horrific times.
Ruby, very best of luck for next week and Shooting, thank you for your time and info.

BetsyBoop Tue 10-Sep-13 18:08:54

ruby yes it was me asking about a chillow, thanks smile My night sweats have calmed down again, at the moment they just seem to happen the week after chemo. If they become a regular thing I think I'll give one a try. Sounds like a busy and difficult week next week, we will all be hear holding your hand and offering brew cake and <hugs>

picture glad you are home and that it was all ok (eventually!) hope your neck feels better soon.

malt I have a jersey sleep cap from anna bandana which is just right at the moment for bedtime, not too hot and very comfy. (Although it get abandoned the week after chemo as I could really do with a cold cap on then to cool me down!)
Speaking of cold caps - I keep meaning to mention, my unit has two of the plug in cold cap machines - through four chemo cycles + hanging around for 6hrs last Friday and I've still never seen anyone using them, they are just sat unloved in the corridor shock

topsyturner Tue 10-Sep-13 19:00:11

Has Shooting developed a stutter ?

Ruby def nip back to your GP . There's a strong possibility they won't do your op next week if you are still ill

Nana welcome .
And yes , you absolutely do belong on here !
There's no such thing as "a little bit of cancer" grin
(Apart from HND who I regularly wind up about not having "real" cancer grin )

Just been to a curriculum meeting at DDs school .
This years topics are The Victorians , The Irish Famine , and The Titanic .
Bound to be cheerful .....

malteserzz Tue 10-Sep-13 19:27:23

Nana don't be daft all are welcome, I was going to ask what treatment etc you've had so far ? You don't have to answer if you don't want to just helps to hear of people who have got through it

Betsy that's a shame I would use those cold caps !

Topsy yes sounds very cheery !

Another of ds friends mums has just commented on my lovely hair and asked when I had it cut lol it does give you a bit of a confidence boost when you're worried about your wig blowing off in the wind grin

No news from kitkat yet ? Hope results were as good as they could be

Hi Malteserzz, I have invasive ductal carcinoma type 3 HER2+ and ER neg, PR positive. Also DCIS

Had mastectomy in January followed by chemo, docetaxol and carboplatin. Could only tolerate 4 cycles of chemo as it was doing my kidneys in sad

Now on Herceptin only every 3 weeks but not sure if I'll tolerate a years worth as I also have heart disease, yes I'm a walking disaster!

kitkat1967 Tue 10-Sep-13 19:56:54

hello all - sorry I'v ebeen absent but couldn't post for some reason.

kitkat1967 Tue 10-Sep-13 20:03:12

I've been pumped up with 100ml of saline and feel a bt odd to say the least - it didn't hurt to have it done but is now quite uncomfortable. more pumping booked for next tuesday evening. Surgeon also very pleased with healing and scar.

Results are in...... seems I had 4.8cm area of DCIS with several smallish areas of grade 2 cancer within it. The chemo doesn't seem to have had much (if any) effect on the cancerous areas as it is so ER+. Anyway no decision on whether I have to have more chemo as it is not clear cut apparently - MDT will discuss on thursday mornig and BCN will ring me after that to let me know how it went but I will have to see the onc next Tuesday to get the full run down.
SO nothing scary - in fact lump smaller then originally estmated (6cm) and actually mainly DCIS so good news on the whole but more waiting.

amberlight Tue 10-Sep-13 20:10:42

nana, if it helps, Herceptin is as effective over 6mths in the studies.

I had to come off it early.

Kitkat, good results! wine all round!

kitkat1967 Tue 10-Sep-13 20:25:22

thanks Amber - yes I am pleased. Also pleased that the surgeon said I was interesting as not a clear cut case smile. I am concerned that they may ask me if I want the chemo or not as was hoping I would just be told - will have to wait and see on that one.

Yes Amber, onc said that too so here's hoping!
Cheers to you too wine

Huskylover1969 Tue 10-Sep-13 20:46:43

thanks for pointing me in the right direction
hope you all had a good day
i enjoyed my first day and she is going to ring me with my rota xxx

malteserzz Tue 10-Sep-13 20:46:58

Nana sounds like you've been through the mill bless you

Kitkat all sounds positive but must be frustrating still not to have all of the answers as to what happens next. Sigh of relief though I bet smile

kitkat1967 Tue 10-Sep-13 20:50:26

hi Malt - yes very happy that nothing new came up. Also pleased with expansion of new boob - very impressive clevage already!!

nana you're not self centred at all, perfectly reasonable to ask as that's what we are here for to support each other and share our experiences where useful smile I think my aunt got her chillow from Amazon.

Thank your everyone for offers of hand holds <grabs hold and squeezes tightly> I shall definitely need it next week smile

I shall try and see the GP tomorrow as I'm halfway through course of antibiotics so ought to have seen a difference by now!

malt could you wear a soft fleece hat? Or might that be too hot? And what a fab confidence boost smile your wig really suits you, do you think you'll get your hair cut to a similar style when it grows back?

kitkat glad it was good news, and hopefully you'll get a definite answer either way on the chemo smile

picture I cried after one of my GAs too, I think it's a normal physical reaction more than anything. The recovery nurse shouted at me hmm but I dobbed her in when I was next there grin I hope your neck feels better soon and glad everything is now in place so no more fiddling needed.

topsy that does sound cheerful... grin interesting though!

We are finally watching an episode of that Burrowers programme that we recorded weeks ago, so cute! smile

Love to all x

kitkat interesting to hear about your reconstruction, I haven't yet decided whether to have it as it's a long op and not sure my heart will stand up to it.

Also had a bad infection in the wound after mastectomy which has put me off surgery for a while. But my friend is having what you are (I think) so be good to share with her your experience

smee Tue 10-Sep-13 21:14:17

Ooh hooray Kitkat. I know it's still cancer, but you must be relieved. Hope they can give you a clear steer on chemo. For now though wine seems sensible. smile

Nana, you've had one hell of a year, haven't you?! Your turn for things to get better I'm sure. Amber had to stop Herceptin I think. I'd bet she'll be up for chatting about that.

Crying after GA is v.v.normal, Picture. Of it's not then there's a lot of abnormal women on here.. grin

Hope you feel better soon, ruby. Definitely head to doctors tomorrow if you're not feeling better.

Nice cheery topics for DD, Topsy. grin

BetsyBoop Tue 10-Sep-13 21:20:04

kitkat sound like good news to me that there was a lot less nasty stuff than they had originally thought smile Have you thought about what you'll do if they give you the option for more chemo?

malt people are saying these things cos you DO look fantastic in your wig smile

kitkat1967 Tue 10-Sep-13 21:20:32

Nana - I had a mx 10 days ago with insertion of tissue expander as couldn't have full reconstruction at the time of mx as will be having rads.
I am very pleased so far as implant was partially expanded in the Op so was not completely flat at any point and have enough 'breast' to wear all my normal clothes with a small softie in a sports bra. The implant is going to be fully expanded over the next few weeks and then I will have to wait about 8 months to get it replaced. The surgeon is going to fix up my other breast to match at the same time so all in all I'm happy with my choices so far.
Also recovery from Op has been quick and easy - was in hospital 2 nights and came home with a drain in which was removed 2 days later. Pain was managed with paracetamol and occassional nurerofen so not a problem.
Oh and Op was 2 hours but the full reconstruction will be longer I think but not as long as if the skin was not already expanded.

kitkat1967 Tue 10-Sep-13 21:24:10

Betsy - much as I hate it i have decided to have the chemo if i get a choice (will only be 3 more cycles) but it may be complicated by the fact that having chemo would delay hormone treatment which might deliver a bigger benefit - hopefully they will give me a steer if not a decision.

Based on something someone said the other day i have been reading old threads today - just got to Topsy's spontaneous remmission grin.

Thanks Ruby you sound really kind.
Would be interested to hear from other HER2+ people?

Appreciate your sharing that Kitkat, I'll tell my friend who's having her mx tomorrow (been postponed since Monday so she's panicking)

BetsyBoop Tue 10-Sep-13 21:39:47

I hope they at least give you a steer kitkat - but I'm like you if there was even marginal potential benefit from completing chemo (which didn't interfer with "better" hormone therapy benefits of course) I'd do it (and hate it!) - that way no regrets smile

welcome nana ! and results sound v good kitkat though can quite understand your wanting the team to tell you decisively what is needed,rather than letting you make a decision (does that make sense?)
Special hand holding and a hug for next week's stuff ruby xxx
Had a lovely time meeting fb friend who was just as I'd imagined - we chatted and felt v comfortable together..was nice.
Swimming this evening so am now very chilly and hair is damp- think I may need hot choc.

Thank you Maryann!

I wasn't given a choice about chemo, but I live in West Yorkshire so might be different school of thought here?

Also didn't realise I'd DCIS as well as invasive until I read my pathology report which I had to ask for. It sometimes irritates me that they treat you as if you've no brain and you're expected to be a sheep angry

Smee sorry just noticed your reply, yes, I put this year on hold so looking forward to Christmas!

My best wishes to all you ladies going through this, I never thought to come on here (been mostly on BC forums) but this is best!

malteserzz Tue 10-Sep-13 22:29:38

You're all very kind about my wig smile I will stop going on about it one day and just accept it !

Mas glad your meet went well sounds like you have made a new friend which is always good

Nana I love this thread, I've looked at the bcc ones but this is just so down to earth and supportive smile and I like the way we have people at all different stages of treatment still dealing not just with cancer but everything else life throws at you !

malteserzz Tue 10-Sep-13 22:31:56

And can I just ask about my chemo arm which aches between my wrist and elbow, is it worth massaging it or anything or should I just rest it ?

jchocchip Tue 10-Sep-13 22:49:31

Hi to nana. Sounds like you have had a lot to contend with.
Pigeons! Was that a music teacher? Before my time but friends of friends...
dh has let the blinking cat into the bedroom. Early morning alarm call I expect!

Hi jchocchip, I've got an alarm cat too, who wakes me between 3-5am and with these dodgy legs it takes me ages to get downstairs to let the bugger out!

Amber can I ask why you had to come off Herceptin early?

KurriKurri Tue 10-Sep-13 23:11:05

nana - I am HER2+ - I had a years worth of herceptin after I had finished my chemo (I think they sometimes run it concurrently now in some places). Happy to answer any questions you may have (although it was 3 years ago I finished herceptin so my memory may be slightly shaky!).
You are very welcome on this thread - we have people at all different stages of treatment, different treatments and different cancers - its all about supporting each other through the tough bits - (and we also like to chat about cake grin)

malt - I was told to rub ibuprofen gel into my chemo arm when it got sore. But yes to resting it as well.

Kitkat - very pleased you had good results today xx

Night night all, early start tomorrow - I'm going to yoga and have to get an early bus (well 7.45 but that is early for me)

Oh thanks kurrikurri I'm so pleased to be able to chat to people who had/have the same cancer as me. I hadn't realised there were so many different types of BC, but I suppose you don't until it happens to you or someone close sad

Reading about it is depressing as its such a nasty one. Thank God for Herceptin.

Did you have hormone therapy too? My pathology was weird. First they said it was marginal ER and negative PR then they said it was negative ER but "surprisingly positive for PR"

Don't know what to believe now as I'd really like not to have the Arimidex if I don't have to have it.

My report also showed it was associated with perineural invasion and lymphovascular invasion so that's worrying as my lymph nodes were clear.

That means it could metastise via my nerves or blood and as I only had 4 cycles of chemo I'm now worried I didn't have enough?

Anyway, glad I got that off my chest (pardon the pun!) Nite nite x

trice Tue 10-Sep-13 23:49:06

Malt, I found a hot water bottle soothing on sore chemo arm.

Gigondas Wed 11-Sep-13 06:26:23

Nana-welcome but sorry you are here. Am not bc person (have soft tissue sarcoma) but have had a couple of post op infections so I know how horrid they are.

Malt-Arnica cream good on bruising on chemo arm too. Also if you rest it on that cushion I sent it helps-I advise doing it with a brew bad some junk tv.

Also I have a very technical question for you as our queen of this kind of thing -is the orange one going to marry his pregnant gf? Ad what was she thinking -she was a medical student? Surely there are better options than being fertilised by Peter? Also what has happened to Jordan's baby.

I always cry after ga -you can set your watch by it about 4 hours after I come round. It's proper full on world end crying bit like 3 day blues after you have a baby.

Kitkat-good you have results but can see how you want more guidance. Can you not get an answer on risk of doing chemo first v. Hormone as I think you need amber type hard facts to decide.

Ruby- massive hugs for you. I would get gp to review antibiotics. Tonsillitis is horrid at best of times but you may need higher dose to shift it. I have genetic results in 2 weeks too -so far am negative for 2 tests but will be finding out more at appt and also what may affect the little gigs. But my lady is very nice as talks about what test for if are positive so there is some comfort if there is a risk.

Mas-I have an electric throw that warms up. I recommend it- going to start my swim regime next week. smile

Waves to betsey, smee, Nj, kurri, jchoc, ecori, picture and reallyworried(how you doing?) and anyone else.

Shooting- what's on menu after gbbo?

Also what is with all the crying? Beca and Frances annoying me .

Off to town to see dietician, therapist and have kid free lunch ( with kindle for company) plus some shopping .

kitkat1967 Wed 11-Sep-13 06:59:38

morning all. Rubbish night for me as 'pumped up' implant really hurt during the night. I got off to sleep OK but been awake since 3am - will head back to bed once the kids have left for school.

How are you doing Ecroi - are you having your implants expanded yet?

good morning...nice coffee on the currently obsessed with special K with peach and apricot -yum.
Today it's a year since my secondary diagnosis and as I'm still very much here and swimming along I hope that offers a bit of comfort to those feeling gloomy.
Am off to a gay literary salon tonight at the Southbank (as you do) -should be interesting and jolly. A bit anxious about making the last train back to Hampshire grin

reallyreallyworried Wed 11-Sep-13 08:01:21

Morning all

KitKat great to hear you had some reasonably positive news smile but sorry to hear you had a rough night. Hope you manage to catch up on some sleep today.

I am in a VERY feeling sorry for myself mood. I need to try and snap out of it! It's so NOT me. sad Hides in corner and gives myself a good slap talking too!!

Hope you all have a good day xxx

Gigondas Wed 11-Sep-13 08:12:00

Hugs for reallyworried- mope away that is allowed. Got any chocolate or treats that will help you feel bit better? Doing my nails cheered me up at times.

smile At mas anniversary - going very strong as was impressed With your swim stats. Literary thing sounds good...will it include a wahaca trip?

Back on bed with brew having sent big gig to school . She is particularly dappy today ( has tendency to day dream and be in her own world and not listen - sadly cant blame anyone other than myself as I was samewink) so teachers will have fun.

T is a bit of a day dreamer- very much in his own world smile
No Wahaca this time sad
Hugs for really
Hope kk has made the yoga bus !

Shootingatpigeons Wed 11-Sep-13 08:19:35

kitkat sorry that your boob woke you up, have you got painkillers? Good news that the nasty part of your lump turns out to be so much smaller than thought. Re chemo my Consultant now thinks that for my 1.7 cm grade 3 strongly ER+ lump with one lymph node involved they would probably now have moved straight to hormone therapy, even 12 years ago they were advising me that chemo would have a small only impact on my chances of survival, and was a matter of choice, given the short and long term risks, remember chemotherapy drugs are ironically some of the few proven carcinogens. If one lymph node had not been involved they would not have recommended it. Since then the hospital, the Royal Marsden, have done quite a few trials that show that for ER+ tumours the key thing is the hormone therapy, that the benefit of chemo for me mostly came down to inducing menopause. When my friend had a recurrence in a lymph node in her neck, she was referred straight to their hormone therapy specialists, chemo was not presented as an option. I know that it is easier not to be faced with a dilemma but I personally prefer not to feel at the mercy of the subjective part of my Doctors' judgement (and there is often a lag between research and that being influenced). If you do feel left with a difficult choice I can give you the details of my Consultant or someone else on the BC team at the Marsden for a second opinion, they have pioneered this increasing awareness of the importance of hormone therapy for ER+ tumours, and the need to tailor treatment to different types of tumour. I found my team were only too pleased for me to seek second opinions, though always suspected that other doctors rarely disagree with your first opinion. However Dr Geek loves a chance to quote statistics ......

ruby sounds like a heavy week next week, will be holding your hand. I hope the GP can help today, perhaps you need stronger ABs.

gigs I noticed there was a whole Katie magazine on the newsstand at the motorway services on Monday, we should have bought a copy for the trolley grin. Big pigeons and I thought it probably had as much substance as the Baby George commemoration special next to it, about a paragraph of known facts and hundreds of sycophantic speculation.

DH was threatening all manner of pies and tarts last night, and to enter GBBO and Masterchef..... Actually I am not sure he would have done worse than some of those pies. I actually found everyone but Howard, bless, he is as a lamb to the slaughter, and Kimberley irritating last night, but especially Christine. She should have been sacked just for the sheer arrogance of saying, after her soggy pie she has baked weekly for hundreds of years, that "at this rate I may be at risk of going home" as if she has a right to be there, mainly because of the granny's are good at baking stereotype...... Ruby was back to Keira Knightly lip biting.

Shootingatpigeons Wed 11-Sep-13 08:30:47

X posted. mas jealous of your literary salon. These anniversaries are good to tick off, especially when it is going swimmingly.

really nothing wrong with feeling sorry for yourself, the expectation that Cancer patients should be positive can be a tyranny and you do not need that on top of everything else you have to deal with. Actually it is shit and unfair. It is a misconception that feeling positive helps you survive Cancer, studies show that it makes no difference and denial or giving in to your emotions are just as good as coping mechanisms. As indeed is humour.

malteserzz Wed 11-Sep-13 08:34:23

Morning all
Didn't sleep too badly but kids gone off to school so I've sneaked back to bed for a bit, getting to be a habit !

Mas enjoy tonight sounds fun and glad you're doing so well a year after your diagnosis smile

Kitkat sorry you didn't sleep well hope you get some rest today

Pigeons good luck with dhs pies and tarts look forward to seeing the pics !

Really sorry you feel down have you got any plans today ? If not tv, tea and cake always helps

Gigs I use that cushion a lot it's lovely , something very strange went on with KPs baby, she was so cagey about the dates, then to take all of your family abroad near your due date and end up giving birth where nobody spoke any English. Very fishy
Not heard any more about PAs baby but you'd think as a doctor Emily would have had a bit more sense, they seem a strange couple

Morning everyone else hope everyone has a nice day smile

Gigondas Wed 11-Sep-13 08:54:41

I knew you would be up on the latest baby news- it was all a bit odd the giving birth abroad bit. Also she has changed as not touting pics of it.

smee Wed 11-Sep-13 09:48:47

Silently applauding MAS for her anniversary. Is it really a whole year? I think some virtual cake might be in order later?? x smile

Sorry your arm's sore, Malt. Ibuprofen is what I used. Are your vein's looking okay? Mine went black and I was told to instantly go and get them checked for infection, so keep an eye on them. Yuk..

That pain from inflation's a sod, Kitkat. Mine usually eased quite quickly, so hope yours does too. With your chemo choice (if you have to make one!), you could ask for stats. Onc told me chemo gave 15% increased chance against recurrence. Still went for it. Wonder what your lot will say now that you've already had some.

Reallyworried, could you curl up and watch a box set of something. That might help with the blues. Don't be too hard on yourself, it would be weird if you were skipping around. We'd have to throw you off the thread. grin

Hope the GP is good today, Ruby. xx

Right had better get on. Waving to all. Be back later. smile

kitkat1967 Wed 11-Sep-13 09:54:48

Hi really - yes just woken up and feel much better. Am well dosed up on painkillers so will get up soon (maybe). I'm guessing this will only last a day or 2.

malteserzz Wed 11-Sep-13 10:00:54

Thanks smee I'll keep an eye on my veins they look ok so far

Kitkat glad you're feeling a bit better, don't rush to get up ! I've also just woken up for the 2nd time!

Gigs just googled and apparently she brought the baby home last week but all very hush hush

pigeons you are right about baking grandma -very irritating.

kitkat1967 Wed 11-Sep-13 10:03:02

Thanks for that info pigeons - I was always told that chemo was the least relevant part of my treatment and that was when they thought the cancerous part was 6cm!!! Mine is a very un-aggressive grade 2 (clear nodes) so onc did say before Op that depending what they find the 3 chemo cycles that i've already had may be sufficient. Anyway should get an answer tomorrow.
I'm going ask when I see onc but suspect mine is 8/8 for ER+. Will also get the sizes of the cancerous spots.

kitkat1967 Wed 11-Sep-13 10:05:15

smee 15% is a lot - I suspect I will be told no difference or an extra % or so.

smee Wed 11-Sep-13 10:23:11

I thought 15% was significant too Kitkat, but my team still told me to think about it. Only surprising thing for me was like my cancer twin Pigeons, was told the hormone therapy and Rads far more important in my case. Hope they say no difference tomorrow, as that means no decision needed from you. Sounds like your lot are good at talking it through, so I'd bet you'll get some sensible thoughts from them. Tomorrow's not too long to wait. smile

Shootingatpigeons Wed 11-Sep-13 12:27:25

kitkat I was told 10% but also presented with the short and long term risks of chemo, which I saw in terms of a decision to buy time with my young children possibly at the expense of the long term. I was also told those were out of date statistics not yet fully incorporating the impact of hormonal therapies, and now Dr Geek is saying that that benefit probably arises from being thrown into menopause. In fact Dr Geek had some stats which showed that when ER+ patients were treated in the same way as others, with just surgery and chemo they did far worse than others, even those who were Her 2 + (pre Herceptin) especially if chemo did not induce menopause. Those were the stats underlying the increasing scepticism about chemo for ER+ patients. I am sure though your team will be able to share up to date statistics. I hope it is clear cut.

Re GBBO I also think that Frances reminds me of that actress who always plays deranged women, in The Crimson Petal and the White and The White Queen Her thing with style over substance doesn't help.....

kitkat1967 Wed 11-Sep-13 12:49:23

mmmm interesting Pigeons - it sounds like I may escape a second bout of chemo then. In my case the chemo i have had so far is not bringing on the menopause in any way (I'm 45) - in fact quite the reverse has happened as I have a mirena coil so normally no periods but had 3 during chemo so far (coil still in so I find that quite mysterious).

malteserzz Wed 11-Sep-13 13:01:01

I've never asked about statistics I can't deal with it at all they just told me from the start I would need chemo hmm

Freezing here today, I'm under a blanket seems too early to put the heating on

malt try something warm for post chemo arm. I always found one of those wheat bags or a hot water bottle really helped. I had it on pretty much constantly for days after chemo as aching would start up again as soon as it cooled down. I hope it gets better soon as it's a horrid pain isn't it.

Waiting for a GP appointment, hopefully this afternoon. Oddly I indulged in some singing earlier (my sister is going on holiday to Austria and I've been singing Sound of Music songs to wind her up grin) and that made it feel better, I would've expected it to hurt confused

gigs I shall be holding your hand very tightly for your appointment. My lady is lovely too smile hopefully by the time the little gigs are old enough to worry, testing and treatment will have got the bugger completely under control. Enjoy your trip to town and lunch.

Waving to everyone x

reallyreallyworried Wed 11-Sep-13 13:25:56

Thanks for the hugs and support! Special thanks to smee who threatened to throw me off the thread grin you made me smile for the first time in a while!

I know I am being silly and that I am allowed to feel scared, and angry and all the other things I am feeling. It's just I promised myself that I wouldn't let this stop me being the positive, strong person that I have fought to be for most of my adult life.

I was finally starting to get my life back, and beginning to enjoy living. Then 'this' happened. So I promised myself that I would take everyday as it comes, and I wouldn't let this take over my life. But that's totally stupid, because right now it is my life. It's stopping me working and sleeping! Two fairly big things! I am thinking non stop about 'what if's' and right now I can't see a positive in anything. Which I HATE!

I think my biggest problem is knowing that I have the pending appointment with the surgeon, to tell me the results of the lump and nodes they removed, and where I go from here. I am hoping that once I know what is happening I will be able to calm down a bit, and start getting back to semi normal. People keep asking me how I am doing and how I feel about everything, and I just find myself saying I'm okay?! I'm not sure why I say that, because inside my head I am saying, I am scared, and want all this to be one bad dream which I will wake up from soon.

Thank goodness for this thread, I feel I can say anything to all of you. I hope that sometime soon, I might be able to write some positive posts, instead of just moaning and groaning all the time. I apologise for being so annoyingly whingy! Promise I am trying to cheer up! I'm not normally this miserable! At least I hope I'm not.

Hope everyone else has a good day. Think I will curl up with a blanket in front of the tv. Xxxx

Shootingatpigeons Wed 11-Sep-13 14:09:41

really Giving you a big virtual hug. I too kept up a front for public consumption whilst struggling inside, and in the quiet alone moments, especially at 4am, it was really that if I couldn't cope with my own emotions I certainly didn't want to have to deal with other people's. The downside is that even now people keep telling me how "brave" I was, which totally misses the point that Cancer is something that happens to everyone brave or wimp I am the latter, miserable or upbeat, positive or negative, and it isn't a competition to be "brave" "fight" or whatever. Those of us lucky enough to be still here are here because of the treatments that just happened to work for our Cancer, and even the doctors don't know which ones those are. Ruby did a great Facebook thing on those lines that I just hope is still going. I had a great group of friends who went through treatment with me and we shared our deepest fears and worries and also laughed our way through Cancer. The reason I stay on here, aside from loving this bunch of nutters is that I really want other women to have the benefit of that sort of support. Feel free to offload, and laugh!

The period leading up to results is the worst, and yes once you have certainty you will have the space to come to terms with what you face and also a chance to get on with it. Feeling you are doing something is great therapy, uncertainty is the opposite and allows paranoia to creep in, hence the paranoia box, because we are all a little bit paranoid about Cancer, it is hard to trust your body again. At the moment I have it in my hip (tight flexors) lungs (a bit of a cough that is almost certainly an allergy as worst when amidst pollen and dust) and toes, (where fell on slippy floor in Mexico and hasn't gone down yet).

Topsy has a word for the semi normal, the new normal.

One emotion I did crack early on was the whys and what ifs, that is all in the past, you can't know because noone does (95% of breast cancer risk remains unexplained, most of the explained risk is the known genes) and you can't change it.

Shootingatpigeons Wed 11-Sep-13 14:25:27

Malt I think whether you want to be told or want to know all the statistics and have a say in the decision making is an entirely personal thing. It is like the p word, for some of us being told to be positive and brave is patronising and an added burden but for some people it clearly gives them a focus that helps them cope, like the other p word, pink grin .

Equally I think coping with a Cancer diagnosis and suddenly having to become a statistician and acquire the medical knowledge about BC that exceeds that of most GPs is also an unnecessary burden. However for some of us it is a way of keeping control, plus I have known far too many medics and seen them in advance stages of inebriation ( the most traumatic scene I have ever encountered, bodies and vomit everywhere, was at St Thomas's, after the Rugby Club dinner) to see them as omnipotent omnicogniescent (I know that isn't actually a word but it is one of my better dyslexic concoctions, up there with Little pigeon's bounceline) beings. Apparently according to Dr Geek there are even statistical studies that show that giving women a chance to have some say and control over the decision making improves outcomes wink

Lilymaid Wed 11-Sep-13 14:32:38

Just saying hello to all. Had another CT scan this morning and will see Breast Surgeon tomorrow and Oncologist on Friday, so a lot of to and fro to the hospital.
I hope Picture is feeling better today (I'm still carrying the weight of guilt etc around for having suggested to her that port insertion was a nice easy procedure).

malteserzz Wed 11-Sep-13 14:45:42

Hi lily good luck for your appointments, I'm sure picture doesn't blame you personally smile

Pigeons at some stage I will take my head out of the sand and face it but at the moment I'm just concentrating on getting through it, looking at 5 year survival rates doesn't reassure me at all I don't want 5 years I want another 30 hmm

Really you're doing fine dont worry about being negative I was the most miserable person ever when I first came on this thread. Say whatever you feel and I guarantee someone else will have felt the same. Did you have a tv day ? I watched this morning, 4 weddings and now watching a programme about boys at harrow. It's cold and rainy and I'm knackered so don't feel guilty !

Ruby the hot water bottle is helping smilelol at the singing is that why it's raining ?

Shootingatpigeons Wed 11-Sep-13 15:36:01

Ah Malt but that is when statistics become your friend and counteract the paranoia. They put a stick in the sand at five years because five years after treatment you become statistically less likely to die of Breast Cancer than the average woman. Once you have five years under the belt you will more than likely die of something else........wink That was when my Consultant started stressing about my heart disease risk, in fact related to a cheese sandwich just before the blood tests but that is another story grin

lily good luck for you appointments. I agree that I am sure picture doesn't blame you. We can only feedback our experiences and I am sure picture's was extraordinary, hope you are recovering picture

notJenkins Wed 11-Sep-13 16:14:40

Hello all it is safe for me to read the thread now I have caught up on GBBO. I am loving this one and find Ruby very irritating but I think they all fancy her. I may be developing a PH crush again but that is purely due to my delicate mental state at the moment. I will recover soon.

I am pretty miserable and panicky about our house move / sale etc. we are doing it as we are broke and it is expensive soI am not sure we will be able to eat for the next few months. If I need more treatment it will be a complete disaster.

Feeling pretty rubbish today so resting and trying not to look at scary solicitors letters.

Sorry to moan. What can I watch to amuse myself ? I find it hard as my hands and small muscles ache I can do stuff like baking / gardening to keep me occupied. The hounds have pushed me off the sofa too.

malteserzz Wed 11-Sep-13 16:35:56

Thanks pigeons smile

NotJ I'm sorry things are tough i hope the house move goes smoothly. Can't advise on tv viewing as my taste is shocking. Hugs.

Just read on another thread that Emins funeral is at 230 tomorrow, I'm sure we will all be thinking of her at that time and sending her family love and peace x

KurriKurri Wed 11-Sep-13 16:37:16

Afternoon all, - managed to get to yoga, but because I was early I went for a coffee at the university cafe (sports centre is part of the uni complex) ts a campus uni and I got hopelessly lost - couldn't get my bearings at all - everywhere looked the same. Also it has lots of dark and uninviting stairways and under stair dark corners - really quite scary at night I would think - presumably designed by a man.

I'm off to yoga again this evening - new class has started in the village - and I have a yoga class tomorrow morning - I shall be all yoga-ed out (or possibly tied in a knot)

NJ - good luck with all the house stuff - I know moving house is extremely stressful, which you don't need at the moment. What sort of thing do you like watching? There's a newish freeview channel (freeview 20) called 'Drama' which in amongst endless reruns of birds of a feather, has some quite good things on it - period dramas etc.

Lily - good luck with appts - hope all goes well xx

Catching up with posts - and having to dash off to cook things - so posting will be sporadic!

amberlight Wed 11-Sep-13 19:09:46

Oh my word, I'll never catch up with all that lot!! We do chat a lot, don't we.

Why did I come off Herceptin? Because it hated me. Like many autistic people, my responses to chemicals are the opposite of those of other people. I coped fine with chemotherapy. But Herceptin gave me major nose bleeds, sky high uncontrollable blood pressure and a heart misfire. And nerve damage. My Onc took me off it before it killed me, to use her exact words. For nearly everyone else it's a really mild drug that is fine to take. So, genetics, in a word.

Chemo,KitKat - no wise words about the pros and cons of more. There's no data that really gives an answer. Will be interested to see what they reckon.

Malt, five year survival = 30 year survival. They only monitor it for five years, so really it means 'if you've made it for five years, you've got as good a chance of old age as anyone else really'.

Hugs all round. Or bracing cups of brew for those eek about being hugged.

kitkat1967 Wed 11-Sep-13 20:15:39

Hi Amber - what do you think I need to find out - size and number of cancerous areas, type of cancer (I only know it is grade 2 and un-agressive) and how ER+ (I know it is neg for PR and HER-2) is all I can think of.
I think the surgeon said that they confirmed that the FEC hadn't done much by way of killing any cells so I'll check that too.

topsyturner Wed 11-Sep-13 20:23:24

Shall we light our candles / do the positive thought thing / pray if so inclined - at 2.30 tomorrow for Emin ?

I shall anyway , if anyone else cares to join in , feel free xxx

malteserzz Wed 11-Sep-13 20:31:46

Definitely topsy x

amberlight Wed 11-Sep-13 20:49:52

Topsy, aye, I'm in. Good plan.

KitKat, it could be useful for you to have as much info as you can, if you're a person who likes a good think about things, aye. Some people prefer not to know and let the teams decide. Both ways are right.

snailsontour Wed 11-Sep-13 21:16:25

I've been AWOL again... Oops, I'm just rubbish these days.

I'm another HER2+ girl nana. I had the full 18 infusions, the first 3 were with chemo, and the last 15 were given at home - I'd highly recommend this if you are offered it. My last one was in March this year, and I pretty much sailed right through them. So ask away of you've any questions.

Was really sad to read about Emin, and will join you in our 'virtual' tribute tomorrow.

Had a fabulous long weekend down in Exeter with the girls I went through chemo with (and who are now close friends). Just as well it wasn't a full week as my body couldn't take all the food, wine and late nights!

KurriKurri Wed 11-Sep-13 21:37:40

Definitely topsy - will be lighting a candle and sending all my good and loving thoughts to EMIN and EMIN's family.

Hello snails smile - lovely to see you x

foofooyeah Wed 11-Sep-13 21:45:39

I struggle to keep up too - think I need an old school notepad and pen.

So apologies for not mentioning people personally - its just I am old and muddled.

First session of chemo today which went ok - feeling ok atm and managed to wolf down some sushi and chips this evening ... yum.

KurriKurri Wed 11-Sep-13 22:01:41

Foofoo - don't worry about keeping up - I think we all realised that at the rate this thread moves sometimes, its not possible - so just dive in. - I am old and muddled too, you are not alone grin

Glad the first chemo went OK today, and that you were able to enjoy your meal tonight - that might mean you are not going to get too much sickness - fingers crossed smile

BetsyBoop Wed 11-Sep-13 22:12:20

I'm in too topsy for 2:30pm tomorrow

foofoo glad chemo went well

kitkat - I'm planning on asking then to go through the pathology report with me, but that's just me, I don't want others knowing info I don't have grin

another one who is failing miserably to keep up with this thread...!

jchocchip Wed 11-Sep-13 23:08:54

Don't know what it is this week but another one here who can't keep up.
Yay for mas' anniversary.
Flexed off work to go knitting this morning after a swim. Heard the council want to close the pool again because of the cuts sad
virtual candle tomorrow.

Thanks Amber and Snails, I got my first herceptins along with chemo but I now go to hospital every 3 weeks as I have a PICC line in and one of the lumens is blocked so they don't think District Nurses can deal with.

Do either of you know your left ventricular ejection fractions on Herceptin? Mine is down to 39% but I started at 42% as I've got a bad heart anyway.

I was put on Arimidex but no one has referred me for a bone scan and I understand it can give you osteoporosis. Phoned GP who said nothing to do with him, so will phone onc secretary tomorrow. Not sure if I should stop it until scan?

Hello all,

Saw GP and got new antibiotics as she could still see spots on my tonsils, she's hopeful it'll be sorted for my procedure on Monday.

really vent away and you don't have to put on a face for us so say whatever you need. I think most people feel the way you do when diagnosed. The waiting is hard, it makes me very restless. Personally I didn't react very much at all, and still haven't, my medical team are all worried I'm delusional and have special notes about me confused, and I'm starting to wonder myself hmm so in a way I think the way you're feeling is probably healthier and helping you deal with it effectively smile

malt I was very head in the sand about stats too, I was worried they'd freak me out and I couldn't un-know them if I didn't like them! When I first found out I felt a bit funny for about five minutes, my heart was racing, but really I don't think it's made any difference. Definitely makes sense to get through the treatment first, especially as you don't need to make decisions at the mo.

My exercise class is at 2.30 tomorrow, and I really need to go this week as exercise has taken a bit of a back seat with various issues lately. I will light a candle and send some good vibes beforehand instead, plus will think of EarthMother and her family during. I'm not allowed candles in uni halls so have been looking at battery powered candles to use in my holders instead, not quite the same but the thought will still be there! smile

I'm up late to try and tire myself out and get myself into a better sleeping pattern! Got my alarm set and no more sleeping in in the mornings to make up for rubbish nights.

NJ you've got so much on your plate. I hope the move goes as smoothly as possible and fingers crossed for no more treatment. Hopefully you'll get all the rubbish out of the way in one go then plenty of good times ahead in your new home smile

jchoc sad about swimming pool, are there any others locally? Hopefully there will be enough opposition to change their minds.

MAS happy cancerversary that's what I'm calling mine anyway, am trying to persuade family they need to buy me presents wink I hope you enjoyed the trip to London and got train back in time

KK campus sounds scary! Did you make it to class on time? Hope you enjoyed evening yoga, and have fun tomorrow! You'll be a pro soon grin looking forward to Facebook photos of you doing that scary looking one where you hold body up on just hands! Unless you can already do that one envy

foofoo glad first chemo went OK smile hopefully you'll sail through with few side effects.

snails Exeter with chemo friends sounds great, lovely you've remained friends smile

Waving to everyone! I shall leave it there as probably stayed up late enough smile night night xx

Gigondas Thu 12-Sep-13 06:52:42

Morning all - brew for those that need it. Wow you had a chatty day yesterday.

Ruby hope you had a good night. I have been better about dropping off but mini gig has been up and about which hasn't helped.

I wouldn't worry about your attitude - you seem balanced in circumstances . If anyone needs notes written on them and a session on the couch,it's your charmless nark of an onc.

Mas sounds like you had a lovely night out last night.

Foofoo hope you had a good night .

Reallyworried - don't put any front on for us. I know how it feels to be in the pits of despair so sending you a hug.
But of you need distraction you am always go to Aibu and post get a grip wink. The poster moaning that her m and s pie only had 12 bits of chicken. ( seriously I am an accountant and I don't audit my sodding food) when the photo on the box had 30 bits of chicken...

Nj- am so sorry that house buying adding stress . hand holding here for you .

Malt- loved your Katie p update. She isn't in the fail at minute (I know I shouldn't read online) so have no clue baby home. I agree that Katie woman is loathsome - one of my issues with her is if she is Mrs hotshot at business why has she got time to arse about on the wright stuff all the time?

Kurri - how was yoga?

Had nice day out (and managed ok with my back ) up to see therapist and dietician ( have put all mr weight back onsmile). Also did a bit of shopping including baby clothes for nannys baby.

Am starting to get excited about baby cuddles as its due at end of October. The little gigs excited (tho big gigs questions are definitely heading to where are babies from but seeing this nanny pregnant has got rid of the association if pregnancy and illness she had from me ).

Better go as need to get big up.

Will also be thinking of emin and her family this afternoon.

topsyturner Thu 12-Sep-13 07:02:00

"Cancerversary" !!!
Oh I love that one Ruby grin

Happy Cancerversary Mas !
Are you fluent in Polari after last nights outing (no pun intended !) ?

I'm watching Monsters In The Attic babysitting HNDs kids till their lift for school comes .
She's gone in to get her holes sewn up again - she leaks like a watering can grin

When do you start back at uni Ruby ? Are you looking forward to it ?

Right , chemo brain completely broken now . Going back to re read thread to see who I've forgotten !

topsyturner Thu 12-Sep-13 07:05:33

I'm ashamed to say I googled ...
Katie's baby was born 8 weeks early , abroad .
They have been home a week .
He's called Jett .
(All sounds a bit sus to me wink )

reallyreallyworried Thu 12-Sep-13 07:29:48

Morning all

Just wanted to send hugs and love to all those who need it today. I didn't know Emin, but going on what some of you have said about her, she sounded like an amazing woman.

My thoughts are with her family and friends today. I hope they manage the special goodbye, that I am sure Emin would of wanted.

I have a candle that's been burning since midnight. I believe it's at 2.30 this afternoon that Emin gets her angel wings. God bless her and her family. thanks


amberlight Thu 12-Sep-13 07:40:29

Nana, my LVEF wasn't affected by Herceptin so was in the normal range (the one thing it didn't do grin ).

MAS, hurrah for trip out to celebrate!!

Morning all. Leaving breakfast goods out on the trolley

malteserzz Thu 12-Sep-13 07:58:27

I'm keeping up with the thread, only because I haven't done much this week. Getting bored so must be feeling better and really need to go food shopping today. Dh is lovely and capable of shopping, cooking etc but at the weekend he seemed to just buy random stuff which didnt really go with anything else grin meals this week have been interesting !

Hope hnds op goes ok

Shootingatpigeons Thu 12-Sep-13 08:03:33

Had to drop little pigeons off for school trip at 6.30 shock and big pigeons is going to educate me later visiting Darwins house grin .

jchoc I am shocked at plans to close the pool. I learned to swim there and like Adrian Moorhouse graduated through the swimming club to Bradford Dolphins etc. You used to be able to go for 6am training sessions before school which we couldn't have got to in Bradford, we used to train alongside someone who held the record for cross channel swimming, doubtless the morning sessions got cut years ago. As the T&A says it is a huge community resource and people in the villages are not going to be travelling in to Bradford, there used to be a Cullingworth Swimming Club on Tuesday night and the Guides and Brownies all caught buses down to swim on Friday evenings too. Very sad if all that is lost. All very well saying all the population is in Bradford but do they have that sort of community involvement? There wasn't much else to do in those villages. Very sad, will sign any petitions etc. and will tell Dad too.

I will be thinking of emin, Darwins house will be a strangely fitting setting given our mutual humanist beliefs

Hugs to all who need them (another without a hope of remembering everything I should)

Shootingatpigeons Thu 12-Sep-13 08:07:42

malt i feel your pain. DH is driving me mad(der) with his shopping exploits, he can't resist a bargain so comes home with sell offs and Bogofs, currently we have a pile of stale ciabatta and will be eating bruschetta for the next fortnight.

malteserzz Thu 12-Sep-13 08:13:19

630 pigeons ! Enjoy your day

Gigs is nanny leaving or going on maternity leave ? Started India knight book last night which is just the light read I was looking for thanks.

KurriKurri Thu 12-Sep-13 08:20:04

Am off out in minute until after 3p.m. - I'll be linking arms with you all in thought and spirit at 2.30p.m. xx

Gigondas Thu 12-Sep-13 08:26:56

6.30!!! Ouch

grin At the man shopping - mr gigs ok but he is obsessed with making sure we don't run out of some things (mainly cauliflower which he loves confused) so we can end up with an overflow of some things. I would prefer bruschetta to cauliflower cheese.

Malt - glad book is good. I made sure my suggestions were free from cancer reference as I know when you are wanting a good distracting book read you don't need that kind of reference.

Nanny is coming back with baby - it should work quite well as she is not type to make issue of her baby v our kids (one of reason we hired her is how close she is to her last family).

She is very good with the minis and her bond with mini gig very strong. We are already discussing how we are going to deal with " sibling" jealousy with new baby. also mini will start nursery a few morning a week next year .

We still have nanny 2 who is lovely and some cover in form of friend of pregnant nanny. At moment it's not so needed but as mr gig can work long hours etc we have wrap around care/help for me if needed ( which I am very lucky with). This all started after last nanny ( who turned into bit of a pest but will spare reliving that) proved very unreliable .

Jchoc saw that about your pool- doesnt sound like makes much sense. Which reminds me ,talking if local issues, pigeons are you on the comments page of our local paper on one of stories about lack of places or has someone nicked your alias?

More brew I think now

Shootingatpigeons Thu 12-Sep-13 08:41:25

gigs online? Yup that is me, probably read by one man and his dog grin

kitkat1967 Thu 12-Sep-13 10:53:48

aggghhhhh... give me strength.
BCN has just phoned to say that MDT could not make a decision about my chemo. My onc was not there but the others could not decide. Apparently i had intermediate DCIS of 48mm and within that multiple cancerous spots (grade2) of which the largest was 13mm. No valscular or lymphatic invasion. Lots of debate about whether the 3 cycles I already had was enough - seems to hinge on my age it seems. If I do have more it will not be FEC as they agreed that had not worked.
Was left that my onc will have to make the decision - or more likely me I suspect angry. When pressed one of the oncs there said he would not do any more chemo but that was his personal choice.
Hey Ho - I see my onc on a Tuesday mornings so will make an appt for next Tuesday but am fed up with waiting. (Just because I want to plan for the rest of the year and 3 more chemo cycles is a 9 week impact.)
All agreed after chemo (or not) it will be Rads and hormone therapy but I knew that anyway.

On the good news front expanded boob has stopped hurting and i slept very well last night.

snailsontour Thu 12-Sep-13 11:09:58

And I'm also old and muddled - so we are in good company.

Always good to get that first chemo under your belt, so well done foofoo

Hope am not too late to light my virtual candle for dear earth
Am very behind with thread and just off to have blood test but will catch up later. love to all xxx

malteserzz Thu 12-Sep-13 12:17:13

Oh Kitkat I can't believe you are still in limbo sad hope you get some answers on Tuesday. My gut feeling I think would be that if there's any doubt it might be best to do it, 9 weeks will go quickly. Not saying that's right though, what a tough decision

Been shopping so the fridge and cupboards are full. Wiped me out though so sitting with cheese and biscuits now. Managed to buy a top and scarf along with the food shopping smile

Gigs more celebrity twaddle Kerry katona is pregnant again !

BetsyBoop Thu 12-Sep-13 12:21:59

aaarrrgggh kitkat on your behalf smile

"Lots of debate about whether the 3 cycles I already had was enough."
"If I do have more it will not be FEC as they agreed that had not worked."

Is it just me or are those two statements contradictory? - if 3 cycles of chemo is enough, are three cycles of FEC enough? given everyone is agreed FEC didn't work for you.

Hopefully your onc can give you his opinion of the percentage gain (or not) of further chemo, although I bet you won't get "definitely do it" and probably won't get "absolutely not worth your while" either....

Thinking about emin lots today and feeling very cross about the bloody unfairness of this stinking disease angry sad

notJenkins Thu 12-Sep-13 12:29:00

Hello all. Thinking about EMIN today and the unfairness of it all.

I am feeling ok today. Made a decision to do nothing for a few days which seems to be the right thing to do as I feel ok. Enjoying the real housewives and millionaire matchmaker. Friend coming over for a cuppa shortly too.

Good news on the house and I heard our buyers are really keen and are moving into a friends house this month so the chain will be really short. We are buying somewhere with no onward chain so hopefully not a lot can go wrong. My main worry is our finances until the move is completed.

Any news from HND ?

malteserzz Thu 12-Sep-13 12:41:09

NotJ all sounds positive on the house move fingers crossed it all goes smoothly. Few days chilling sounds very sensible. Hnd posted on FB to say that it had all gone well and she was having tea and toast then going home smile

nj fingers crossed for very short house chain
kitkat a hug for you- this is all a bit mad.
I have to say I had a brilliant time at Polari yesterday - it was theatrical and camp and great fun. Can really really recommend checking out Susie Boyt, Damien Barr and Bernadine Evaristo - they all read and were v funny- I want all the books !
Will light candle now for earth - golden light to her.

kitkat1967 Thu 12-Sep-13 13:43:32

Betsy - I have mulled over that contradiction too - with all the nausea I had I'd like to think that maybe the FEC did some 'cleaning' through my body even if it didn't shrink the lump but I'll def be asking about that.
Also agree that if there is any benefit I will do the other 3 cycles - sort of resigned myself during the course of the morning - also assuming it will be T so based on your experience (as we were similar on FEC) that's nothing to look forward to!!

jchocchip Thu 12-Sep-13 13:44:46

Another candle for earth.

BetsyBoop Thu 12-Sep-13 13:55:16

Just lit my candle too. Kinda nice to think of candles dotted all round the UK for her smile RIP lovely lady.

Sometimesiwonder Thu 12-Sep-13 14:03:12

Have just lit mine.....x

malteserzz Thu 12-Sep-13 14:12:00

Thinking of Emin and her family too x x

topsyturner Thu 12-Sep-13 14:20:38

Candle lit

Gigondas Thu 12-Sep-13 14:50:40

Thinking of emin and her family.

Nj a quiet day sounds good.

kitkat - that's shit they said anything at all as if onc not there how can they finalise a decision. It does sound odd and contradictory. I would be pushing back and perhaps asking for a second opinion ( we are quite honest about this with my onc tho is far not needed it). A good consultant per my bil should not be uneasy about someone doing this.
Hnd was on her way home after op earlier so hope topsy is waiting on her.
I think I need more brew and food. I sincerely hope emin can't hear big gigs first piano lesson later this afternoon wherever she is as may spoil the memory of her lovely service.

KurriKurri Thu 12-Sep-13 15:41:28

Candle lit here too. xx

amberlight Thu 12-Sep-13 17:37:17

Have no lit candle, but been deep in thought for EMIN and family.

kitkat1967 Thu 12-Sep-13 17:56:21

To be clear I do trust my onc - he is the one who originally said he didn't think the lump would shrink with chemo and the one who stopped the chemo based on the MRI results and said he though the lump was mostly DCIS after all so he's been spot on with everything. It's just that i was told that the team would discuss and make a decision today. I'm sure when I see him on Tuesday I'll get sound advice.

smee Thu 12-Sep-13 18:31:27

I couldn't light a candle as have been out all day for work. Will light one now as just back. Nice to think of all the candles burning for her. sad

Kitkat, that's so infuriating..! Hope Onc can help sort a decision next week.

Hope everyone's okay. Will try and catch up, but might not be back until the weekend. xx

malteserzz Thu 12-Sep-13 18:47:51

You're just a special case Kitkat smile how's your hair any signs of it growing again ? Mine is coming out more and more don't think it's going to last
Lovely to hear of all the candles RIP Emin x

amberlight Thu 12-Sep-13 19:04:53

KitKat, the only factor that matters with survival odds, if you have a variety of bits, is the size of the biggest of the lumps. If yours is 1.3cm, then that's the one that they will base the treatment on. Over five years I think the chemo would only make a 1% difference. Over ten it might make a 2% difference. So no wonder they are taking their time thinking.

amberlight Thu 12-Sep-13 19:14:24

...although your starting odds appear to be 97%, if that helps.

kitkat1967 Thu 12-Sep-13 19:48:44

ah thanks Amber - you're a star - that is exactly how I need to hear it explained. I think the fact that I have already had 3 cycles of chemo is also clouding the view hmm - the BCN said if I would have had 4 then they would probably have agreed that was enough.
And yes, generally there is no level of concern - I am interesting but not worrying, if that makes sense!!

Malt - not sure about the hair - I asked the kids to inspect the top of my head but they were not very helpful - it feels like there might be some stubble coming through but very hard to tell as still some original hair there as well. Mind you it's also still coming out. Leg hair is back with vengence though!! I def don't think it woudl last another 3 cycles so will not bother with cold cap again.

trice Thu 12-Sep-13 23:19:45

I had a lovely shopping day in york today. So nice to go without dcs! Then I went to a cheese tasting at WI. I do live an exciting life!

I am wishing comfort to Emin's family and friends. I wish she were here.

foofooyeah Fri 13-Sep-13 05:07:12

Morning all. Nice early start to the day! But a, have having some nice lime marmalade on toast that I bought yesterday .... and a cup of normal tea (DP keeps insisting I drink green tea - nice to sneak in a cup of monkey tea now and again)

Started the big bedroom today and move around yesterday evening with my oldest son who is 20 - was nice to actually spend an evening with him - we have had some trouble in the past and he was helpful and funny. DP is on nights at the moment so DS has been staying in to 'babysit' me whilst I am on chemo - not that I have needed to so far (touch wood). We are all moving round bedrooms so its quite a strategic with a lot of de-cluttering.

foofooyeah Fri 13-Sep-13 05:08:11

trice! Just noticed you went to a WI do - have been tempted to join on occasion - is yours a good one ?

jchocchip Fri 13-Sep-13 05:13:41

Morning foofoo Time for brew and toast! We need to declutter here, still far too much junk to get rid of.

foofooyeah Fri 13-Sep-13 05:54:57

morning chocchip - I love de-cluttering but live with a bunch of hoarders!! so have to be subtle and devious!

Gigondas Fri 13-Sep-13 06:40:45

Morning all-brew welcome as little fuzzy headed as had dinner wit wine with friend last night. Also managed to do fair bit of walking yesterday and my back held up ok smile.

Your day out sounds nice trice-envy about York trip,. Foofoo-glad you are bearing up on chemo.

Guess what -I am going to French tesco this weekend gringringrin. Going tonight after big gig finishes school. This is basically a trip to our other flat in Paris ( I know how very lucky I am) but I no longer refer to holidays as have cancelled so many so it'sreferred to as a trip to tesco.

malteserzz Fri 13-Sep-13 07:09:09

Morning all
Yay to Paris gigs have a fab time and bring us back some lovely croissants !
Some of you were up very early, yawn

Anyone else got plans for the weekend ? We're going to the cinema tomorrow night in the posh directors lounge where you can have nice food and cocktails while you watch the film smile

amberlight Fri 13-Sep-13 07:16:42

A flat in Paris? Splendid. Though expensive on clothing. Enjoy Tesco!!

French Tesco -yay !! have a lovely time -eat cheese !
Am off to hospital today. Swam yesterday- Thursday after 6 seems a good time to go.
Have very good day everyone !

longtimelurker62 Fri 13-Sep-13 08:31:46

Just popping in to send good wishes to all ,to ask after those missing in action like DiddyLady ,and to say what is this Tesco holiday thing ?
>>dense<< emoticon .

longtimelurker62 Fri 13-Sep-13 08:33:47

And to say I'm thinking of EMIN's family .

Post funeral bit very hard I think .

KurriKurri Fri 13-Sep-13 08:45:27

Morning all - Yay for French tesco Gigs - have a fab time x

I seriously need to declutter also, - am going to make a concerted effort next week, DH is a way at a conference, so I won't have to contend with him saying 'you're not throwing that away are you' in a sad voice every five minutes grin

Have woken up this morning with a very sore shoulder, can't move my head properly or my left arm. I know I did it at yoga yesterday, I felt it 'go' but then it seemed OK, but obviously it just needed a nights sleep to start hurting hmm Bugger.

Plans for weekend - I'm going to a pen and wash (watercolour) workshop tomorrow, which should be fun - I have bought a special watercolour paper pad recommended by the teacher (excited teacher's pet emoticon).
DH's flight leaves at 7 on Sunday night - so Sunday will probably be spent with him flapping around not being able to find anything he needs, and me trying to calm things down.

waving and love to all. Hello longtimelurker - nice to see you smile

MAS - you are turning into Ian Thorpe - we shall have to start calling you 'Thorpedo' - I am well impressed!

topsyturner Fri 13-Sep-13 09:02:05

Morning All

Longtime we call any holiday Gigs tries to go on "a trip to tesco"
As she has had an unfortunate habit of getting sick right before every holiday !

Gigs get me some nice cheese at Tesco please grin

topsyturner Fri 13-Sep-13 09:04:54

Crap , hit post by mistake !

KK ouchy .
You need some nice old man linament (sp ?) and a handsome man to rub it in for you ...

KurriKurri Fri 13-Sep-13 09:21:30

topsy - I have old man linament (and am obviously looking forward to spending the day smelling of wee and deep heat) I have no handsome man to rub it in unfortunately. DD will not oblige as apparently it is impossible to get the smell of deep heat off your hands. Ever. so I wil have to contort myself.

I am feeling slightly cross - over a thread I have going in chat. It is a fairly silly thread, - and I'm quite happy to accept people politely telling me not to be daft, but some folk are just bloody rude. I think I shall leave off posting in that there wider Mumsnetland and just stick to our nice friendly thread.

Gigondas Fri 13-Sep-13 09:25:34

Ow ow kk about shoulder. I am but allowed to hoard as mr gig terrified by my mother who is queen of hoard (she could go on those tv shows). The amount of kitchen kit/gadgets Is something that terrifys bothers mr gig. you could reconstruct a 1978 Timothy whites shop from the bits in my mums kitchen.

Hello long time lurker. Topsy- how is hnd?give her a gentle hug from me.

I need more brew as trying to sort what needs to go to tesco. As usual, it's things for kids that take time/space.

malteserzz Fri 13-Sep-13 09:34:19

Kk I find the rest of mumsnet quite scary sometimes, I tend to read rather than post. I read your thread yesterday it was obvious it was just lighthearted there was no need for people to be so rude
Stick with us smile

snailsontour Fri 13-Sep-13 10:16:48

French Tesco gigs oh yes!! - I can taste the cheese (and smell it too) most jealous...
Quiet weekend ahead here, no great plans, other than getting the garden in order ready to make our escape sometime next week. We are finally heading off for a couple of months in our camper - first proper trip since dx in Jan 12.

jchocchip Fri 13-Sep-13 11:45:50

Didn't sleep much last night so have phoned in and booked the day off. Wasting the day curled up with the cat... Must get up.
Looked at your thread kk. Yes, bits of mn are scary!
At least we now have cake
Enjoy tesco, gigs!

Lilymaid Fri 13-Sep-13 11:48:38

KK - had also seen that thread. Anything to do with eating and diet is pretty scary on MN as there are some very odd people about (e.g. those threads where people ask whether Size 8 is fat!)

Gigondas Fri 13-Sep-13 12:05:01

I also saw your threads and thought people were rude. But there are some odd opinions and some very odd types on Mn (don't gets started on the people who hang around on relationships ready to shout Ltb at any opportunity ).

Shootingatpigeons Fri 13-Sep-13 12:27:49

gigs avoir bon temps en Tesco France <fluent in franglais>

KK I always picture the people who post rude comments sat sadly at Formica kitchen tables with yellow nicotine stained teeth and ketchup stains down their front (apologies to any nice people who have formica kitchen tables, nicotine stained teeth and ketchup down their fronts) There are a couple of people on the education threads who do it regularly. I don't know what they get out of it but clearly they have "ishoos" as your rude lady put it, and were never taught manners. The controversial thread we have in local on schools has had some downright screwballs at times as gigs will testify. You can report them of course and get it taken down for breaking the guidelines, especially when they use the f word. Anyway I have posted some antacid.

Lovely day being educated by big pigeons at Darwins house yesterday, it was all very fascinating. I had a few moments pondering the power of nature in memory of EMIN. Whilst you might call him the father of secularism, which has become a bit of a dirty word, he was strongly spiritual and could sit pondering the beauty of a flower in all it's complexity for an hour. The gardens were beautiful and he created a long walk from the end of them, the sandwalk, that he walked countless times a day contemplating all the minute changes. When big pigeons moaned about having to walk it I commented that clearly she didn't have the focus to become a groundbreaking Scientist wink I know that being ill taught me to enjoy the small things and it was a good reminder.

Foo glad to hear that you are not feeling the effects of the chemo too badly, you and malt have now doubled the number of people I previously knew who weren't too badly affected, this is a very good thing.

kitkat sorry you are still left waiting. I would just add that 12 years ago the protocol was that whether you had chemo or not was dependent on it being grade 3 or in a node. I am pretty certain they would not have given you chemo at all.

Was going to be a day in the garden but there is a very BIG BLACK cloud about to stop play......

KurriKurri Fri 13-Sep-13 12:33:41

Thank you all - I am utterly daft to get wound up by the rude folk (and in fairness many have been very pleasant and helpful) - There does seem to be a hard core of people obsessed with diagnosing food issues on MN grin My only food issue is that I don't have a cake in my mouth. Right Now.

And yes to the LTB brigade - are people really that simplistic that they think that is some sort of easy option? Bonkers.
And don't get me started on the ghost botherers - I will happily admit to having issues with people who assume a bit of paper blowing across the room is Late Great Uncle Harry paying a visit.

Enough about me already! When are you off to tesco's Gigs? - tonight or tomorrow?

reallyreallyworried Fri 13-Sep-13 14:11:44

Hi all

After a bit of advice. Had a lumpectomy 9days ago. All has been okay, a little bit sore but nothing major. I was starting to sleep better and was thinking I was through the worst of this......


The last 2 days I have been in more pain, especially in my breast. I get a sharp stabbing pain, every so often and if I'm moving around or bend over slightly, it feels like my breast is being dragged down, and bloody hurts!

Can anyone reassure me that this will improve soon. Seeing surgeon on Monday for results. Right now I'm dreading it because the thought of being poked and prodded while I feel so sore, doesn't appeal to me.

I'm not normally too bad with pain, and never normally let it bother me. But I suppose the lack of sleep and the stress of all this, hasn't helped.

Anyone have any bright ideas on how to cope with the pain, all advice gratefully received.


malteserzz Fri 13-Sep-13 14:33:15

Really I must admit I didn't get any pain after mine, have you still got painkillers to take? Presume you've got a nice soft bra to wear ? Don't know what to suggest other than rest and I'm sure it will get better, ring your bcn if you're worried though x

Gigondas Fri 13-Sep-13 15:07:14

Agree with malt to ring Bcn - but I wouldn't worry overly as could well be muscles etc healing up as it can feel very sharp and stitch like.

Make a note of where pain is, what it feels like, how bad it is ( scale of 1-10) and what sets it off ( I found getting dressed was nightmare after my neck op). Then tell surgeon on Monday before he prods you.

Are you taking all your pain relief ?

Gigondas Fri 13-Sep-13 15:07:44

And 9 days isn't that long in surgery terms.

I should ring bcn really - sorry that you are suffering sad
Hope hnd is feeling ok too.
And kk with poor shoulder..hope the watercolour class is good- what fun !I love nice watercolour paper. My dad has provided me with lots and lots of the best stuff (he bulk buys and as he isn't working much at the moment gives it to me)
Ignore rude people - I seldom visit other threads these days.

I got to see onc himself today -hooray- talked about the year/anniv of dx stuff/how long my drugs will continue (he has a patient who has been on capecitabine for 4 years) and he was v impressed by swimming which was most pleasing !! It's a bit like a club there as I usually see 2 of the ladies from secondary group.

reallyreallyworried Fri 13-Sep-13 16:01:29

Thanks for the advice. I did call BCN and she said all sounded 'normal'.

I have now put my soft night time bra over the top of my day time bra, to give extra support, and that has helped 'ALOT'. Now to try and relax, and rest!

Hope you all have a nice afternoon. Xxxx

foofooyeah Fri 13-Sep-13 17:24:51

That's good really - I was going to say make sure you wear a sports bra all the time - a good friend had a lumpectomy recently and had problems after wearing a 'normal' bra for her birthday party - niggly pains are quite common but if worried just call your BCN as you did. Everyone is different.

Managed 4.5 mile walk today - but now chilling on sofa and just ordered my Ipad !!! Excited.

foofooyeah Fri 13-Sep-13 17:26:17

gigs have a great time at Paris Tesco - I haven't been for a while but used to go quite often when my oldest friend live there - she is now in Italy which is useful too!

Bet gig is on the Eurostar now ! Have fun !

foofoo yay for iPad! I'm sure you'll love it. My parents bought me one before my bowel surgery as I wouldn't have been able to use my laptop for 12 weeks after and I absolutely love it. It made such a difference being able to contact people when I was stuck on the sofa for weeks smile

KK I hope your shoulder is feeling better and you managed to get heat on, careful not to hurt other side twisting round! And the watercolour class sounds really fun.

I had this rather romantic notion that my chemotherapy would just be like a six month convalescence type thing where I'd eat delicious but very healthy morsels, learn languages, read all the books I've been meaning to, do painting (I even bought a book about painting flowers!), do yoga, pamper myself... Yeah right! grin

I've had an okay day, still having pains so glad that bowel nurse has said I should be able to have procedure on Monday despite tonsillitis (has nearly cleared up I think) but a bit angry she says it might be under sedation not GA. I had "sedation" for my colonoscopy but was wide awake and perfectly aware of all their shock faces sad

Went for a walk this afternoon in woodlands at a local NT place but then on the way back I threw up my lunch blushsad which I managed not to do in public all through chemo, luckily no one around but had to bury it under sticks and soil hmm

longtimelurker nice to see you! No word from DiddyLady yet but it's quite early days I suppose and often new people seem to not post much at first. I must reply to your PM blush

really I hope the pain has eased, glad the extra bra helped, and that all is normal. Definitely make notes like gigs suggested while pain is still fresh in your mind as by Monday you may not remember quite how bad it is and might end up minimising it, if you're anything like me!

MAS I'm glad you got to see the onc, did you ask to see him in the end or was it just luck? Good to get your questions answered smile

gigs have a fabulous time in Paris! grin

Waving to everyone else, I hope you're all well x

Lilymaid Fri 13-Sep-13 19:01:47

Hello All <throws some Waitrose best coffee eclairs on to trolley in insouciant manner>
Had been rather dreading appointments with breast surgeon and oncologist yesterday and today but both have been pretty positive. Tumour has shrunk, nodes improving, bones improving and ... possibility that I may not have a mastectomy but go from chemo on to radiotherapy then hormonal treatment.
So feeling rather pleased at least for the moment! (And my trousers feel much looser, so there is another good thing to come out of the chemo and the metal mouth!)

kitkat1967 Fri 13-Sep-13 19:27:02

that's good news Lily. Will you have a lumpectomy or no surgery at all?

amberlight Fri 13-Sep-13 19:42:33

Lily, hurrah!!
Jchoc, how are you feeling after a bit of rest?
<waves to everyone>

<grabs an insouciant coffee éclair>

malteserzz Fri 13-Sep-13 19:47:11

Mas sounds like your appointment was positive that's great smileglad he was impressed with your swimming

Lily your appointment sounds good too, chemo is doing the opposite for my waist line with too much time spent on the sofa and I seem to be starving all of the time !

Ruby boo to being sick hope this tonsillitis buggers off soon for you

Foo foo impressed at your long walk !

Hope gigs is sipping nice French wine in Paris by now smile

Just had a nice curry for tea with dh and going to watch the big brother final, hope everyone has a good evening

Lilymaid Fri 13-Sep-13 20:02:08

KitKat Surgeon will decide later on in treatment - I will have 5th chemo next week (and the plan has been to have 8 in all, though Oncologist now considering 6 instead!). At the moment, the surgeon is inclined not to operate at all!
I needed some good news after having been diagnosed with breast cancer one month and bone cancer the next month. Oncologist also said that I looked very well (must be the make up and fake tan).

kitkat1967 Fri 13-Sep-13 20:22:28

wow Lily - that is exceptional news - it will also be fantastic if you only end up having 6 chemos.

I happened to meet an ex-colleague of my surgeon today (school mums thing but I'd not met her before as her Dcs are younger). She spotted the picc line so we chatted briefly and she assured me that over-treatment is most common and if they say no more chemo I can be confident that it will def not be required as they will always err on the side of caution - feel reassured to hear this from someone independant.

hooray lily !!
Consultant was the only doc in today (for the bc patients) so might just be why I saw him (bcn has been on holiday so hasn't seen my email) but I did talk about the year anniversary etc.

Lilymaid Fri 13-Sep-13 20:38:25

Now negating weight loss with Heston's salted caramel popcorn (which is no better than butterkist and twice the price). Anyway, I thought I would share my good day - and am pleased
MAS also had positive appointment with her Onc.
DH and I are off on Sunday on another of our "good weekend" jaunts - just a couple of nights in a gastropub in deepest Essex (no not Romford).
KitKat are you now thinking that further chemo would not be your choice. I recall that you received rather inconclusive advice?

kitkat1967 Fri 13-Sep-13 20:58:24

Lily - I'm seeing my onc on tuesday to get the decision. MDT could not make one but he was not there. I alternate between hoping for no more chemo and worrying that it would be better to have it - there's no pleasing me!!

amberlight Fri 13-Sep-13 23:18:48

In a wistful mood after viewing threadsful of messages telling a partner of someone with cancer how amazing they are
Not sure what to say. Or why. Not sure anyone ever told my dh how amazing he is apart from me. Sad for him. And for those who battle on through cancer and endless tests without star billing.

jchocchip Sat 14-Sep-13 07:31:21

Morning all. Got up late yesterday and pottered around before meeting a friend with spare tickets to beer festival. Slept well last night and going to try walking parkrun today - foot still nigley sad Need to lose weight again doing so little compared to last year - not been riding my bike to work, running or much swimming and it shows sad
Think the change in my job doesn't help either. One year since a good friend died, think I still can't quite believe it

foofooyeah Sat 14-Sep-13 07:59:42

Morning chocchip - am sure I said that to you yesterday as well.

I want to go to a beer festival!

I am not going to lose any weight due to recent addition to toast and lime marmalade

Sorry to hear about your friend - anniversaries are poignant and sad.

malteserzz Sat 14-Sep-13 08:18:00

Morning all
Amber don't think I've even told my dh he's amazing, maybe I should. Must be hard for the partners

Jchoc good luck with the run and sorry about your friend hope you can remember some happy memories today smile

Foo foo I have an addiction to ginger and rhubarb marmalade though I have ran out !

Going sofa shopping today does anyone know how to stop cats scratching them ? Ours has destroyed this one don't really want her to ruin a new one! Then cinema tonight going to see rush.

Gigondas Sat 14-Sep-13 08:18:52

Morning all from French France - will put croissants on trolley. Got here very late so bit tired this morning.

grinFor lily and mas good appointments. And also that you got a reassuring message from your friend kitkat.

Jchoc enjoy your walk - its frustrating for you waiting on your foot to heal.

Amber- I think I saw the thread you mean. And I completely agree ESP That dh had to get on with it.

Of course that's not to say your dh or mine shouldn't have had more support etc , nor is it not wrong that posters here look for support etc. but I am a bit hmm about how some threads here about rl tragedy (in relationships or about illness) take on a soap opera quality in the way you get lots of strangers logging on and rubber necking.

This might make you reach for brew in sympathy amber but we have french bank issues. As we haven't been o rt in a while , we hadn't paid a tax bill ( was meant to been dealt with by friend here as we aren't liable but obviously hasn't been ) so got official letter stopping out bank account! So fun ahead of bank arguments in French. Dh is hopping mad .

notJenkins Sat 14-Sep-13 08:39:42

Have a wonderful time gigs sans bank problems.

I read that thread too and agree with you. I guess it makes me wonder how many people read this thread to gawp. The support is fantastic on such threads but it does feel voyeristic somehow.

Another quiet day for me apart from replacing a PE t shirt that has been lost already. I bet it will turn up as soon as I buy another one.

5 days into no meds and I am feeling ok as long as I don't do much. The warm is helping as it was freezing cold last time I went through this and my skin was much worse. Only 10 days to go .....

amberlight Sat 14-Sep-13 09:00:54

Jchoc, hope walk goes ok. I really need to do more walking - my back is complaining at me and I know it's lack of exercise. If the weather holds, will take myself for a route march with the camera.

Gigs, eek re the bank problems!! Hope it gets sorted out.

NotJ, counting down the 10 days with you...

Not sure what it was about the thread that sort of derailed my brain. Probably take me a few days to articulate it.

Gigondas Sat 14-Sep-13 09:30:49

Glad doing ok Nj bit grr on pe shirt. Big gig also lost bits of swim kit second week in so it's time to eBay for cheap replacement.

Bank sorted as mr gig got thru to someone helpful. You won't have to bake me a cake with a file in to get out of French jail for unpaid debts.

think I need another coffee.

amberlight Sat 14-Sep-13 09:37:54

<puts away the mixing bowl> Phew re helpful person at bank!! Yes, coffee sounds about right to me.

ooh croissants, but grr about bank stuff - am guessing Mr gig is fluent ? do you speak French well ? I don't but wish I could.
Haven't seen that thread...sorry that it has disconcerted you amber

KurriKurri Sat 14-Sep-13 09:53:27

Morning all, - glad the bank problems are sorted Gigs - bank stuff is mind blowing enough in English!

Glad appts went well MAS and Lily.

NJ <hugs> - glad its not too dreadful atm, - hoping the 10 days go past quickly for you, hopeful you can have a nice restful weekend.

Ruby - hope tonsillitis is on its was out now, and good luck for Monday xx

jchoc - <hugs>. anniversaries are always hard and sad, hope you are feeling OK today - I will be your weight loss buddy - I need to do some exercise everyday, so maybe we can encourage each other smile

waving to all and love to anyone I've missed.

Off to my watercolour workshop at 12 - trying to summon up the energy for a shower - am currently sitting in my PJ's blush

malteserzz Sat 14-Sep-13 10:16:05

Gigs glad you got to France ok and have sorted out the money situation
Kk enjoy the painting sounds very relaxing

Wonder how many lurkers are reading this, funny thought

smee Sat 14-Sep-13 12:02:58

Waving to all. Wet here and cold. Determinedly putting on layers rather than switching the heating on..

How's the pain today, Worried?? Hope it's eased a bit. BCN sounds reassuringly right. smile

Great news for you, Lily. That all sounds hugely positive. smile smile

Have you started another round today MAS? Hope you're feeling okay-ish.

Have a great time in French France, Gig. Their tax laws are quite ruthless. DSIL has had similar wrangles..

Better go, got to run to shops to get birthday present for DH's friend's birthday party later. Hope everyone's okay. Special hugs to Ruby xx

Shootingatpigeons Sat 14-Sep-13 12:42:42

malt I suspect the rubber nickers come along here, see a disconcerting attitude to being positive, brave, fighting, pink feather boas etc and way too much humour and normal stuff and dismiss us as weirdos and move on to somewhere they can indulge their comfortable stereotypes / sentimentality. I hope though that others who are going through what we are going through / have gone through come along and even if they don't post find some comfort and support. We had someone a while ago come along and posted who found the humour and talk of normal stuff wrong when they were dealing with their own diagnosis, which is fine we all cope in different ways.

amber sorry you found the thread difficult. Do bring your thoughts here when you feel ready to articulate, not seen the thread, there is one for partners in general health but that seems to generally tread similar ground to here, keeping it normal.

gigs a helpful French person? I assume Mr gigs is fluent in French and shrugging grin We loved the Bill Bryson anecdote about going into a bakers and asking for "trois baguettes" and the baker slams three dead beavers on the counter and then shrugs as if to say "what is your problem. You asked for three dead beavers, I gave you three dead beavers" when we were in France, quite a few dead beaver experiences but then <fluent in franglais> Glad you are sorted lies as would have enjoyed a trip to France to break you out of debtors prison, although would probably just have resulted in delivery of dead beavers to you

jchoc the first anniversary can be very traumatic, as you say brings it home to you all over again. I hope you have a good walk around park run, these injuries can be so frustrating when you love running.

MAS glad your appointment went well and you now have full blown support for your swimming, you may have blazed a trail and they might start recommending swimming to their patients though that might make the pool a bit crowded. When I worked in swimming pools we used to enjoy watching the characters who swam in the lanes, including splashy showy off man and trophy wives breaststroke, done with head at right angles to the water and extra long neck so as not to get hairdo wet (it was the 70s ) the types have changed a bit but not splashy showy off man, there will always be those grin

lily hurray for good Onc appointment. Enjoy your trip to Essex, are you going to the sugar hut? grin well jell grin though by way of advice no one over 30 should get a vajazzle wink

ruby joining in the group hug for Monday, at least they are finally doing something and hopefully can sort things out.

nj glad no meds regime not as bad as last time

Waves to everyone else.

Lilymaid Sat 14-Sep-13 13:03:16

*Pigeons" I'm going to the less TOWIE end of Essex (I work with a lot of people from Romford area, so have no desire to meet them on holiday!). The undercarriage area has been a bit itchy with chemo, so will pass on the vajazzle (DH might think the area had been irradiated!)

Hello all smile thank you all for hugs and support. Touch wood, tonsillitis seems to be gone! Am mooching around sorting out things for uni and various boxes of clutter from when we cleared out my flat earlier in the year. Found a pile of Christmas magazines so just had to read them and now feeling very Christmassy! grin

amber sorry the thread has thrown you a bit, I think the thing is that people don't really know what to say and can't imagine how they would cope in a situation so assume the person going through it is some kind of superman/woman, which can be quite unhelpful really! But I think people are just trying to be supportive in their clumsy way smile

I hope no one comes on here to gawp! If you are gawping, bugger off grin but I'm sure some people who have cancer or are supporting someone with it read our posts and find them helpful, I hope so anyway smile if you're lurking please feel free to post, you'd be more than welcome smile

shooting I went through a phase of swimming lots and there were a few ladies swimming like that, with full faces of make up! shock plus splashy show off couple who would give each other high fives as they passed each other, or stop for a snog in the middle of the lane!

jchoc hope you enjoyed your walk, injury sounds frustrating but hopefully some gentle exercise will help with recuperation.

gigs phew banking crisis averted! Sounds scary. Hope you enjoy the rest of the weekend smile

smee hope you've warmed up a bit! And enjoy the party.

Waving to everyone I've missed, have a fab Saturday xx

reallyreallyworried Sat 14-Sep-13 13:37:27

smee I am doing okay, thank you. The pain is better since I started wearing 2 bra's. Think I might try and find a more supportive bra. Although the last thing I want to be doing right now, is bra shopping.

I will see how I feel after I see the surgeon on Monday. Then I am HOPEFULLY back to work on Thursday grin I really can't wait.

Hope you all have a great weekend. Xxxxx

jchocchip Sat 14-Sep-13 14:02:18

Really I found the type of vest with a bra shelf in helpful for extra support. Hope they let you back to work if that will make you feel more normal. Thanks for all the good wishes. Feel much better after managing to walk/jog 3 miles around the park. Foot twinged at one point but hopefully will be ok. Decided not to swim this afternoon, will go first thing tomorrow. Then off to collect dd2 from her sailing weekend clashing with great north run traffic! Weather turned nicer this morning after a dodgy start - if they have enough wind today should be ok, tomorrow forecast stormy which should be an experience.
Kk I used to do a myfitnesspal thread that was supportive. When I logged everything on mfp food and exercise, the weight was coming off consistently. Just don't dare weigh myself at the moment...
Glad gigs got the bank sorted.
Waves to everyone. Made some cake so buns on the trolley smile

notJenkins Sat 14-Sep-13 14:45:51

Well I spoke too soon.
A trip to the big supermarket to get sports t shirt was not a good idea. Sofa surfing now and supervising.

reallyreallyworried Sat 14-Sep-13 17:32:32

Thanks jchoc I might look into that. I'm thinking that during radiotherapy, which is probably what lies ahead. I might need different options!! Xx

malteserzz Sat 14-Sep-13 17:48:32

Hope everyone's had a good day
Ruby you made me laugh with the high fives and snogging in the pool !
I'm off to put my face on as shown by LGFB then I'm off out !

malteserzz Sun 15-Sep-13 08:15:59

Hey everyone's disappeared grin
Had a fab night would recommend the film rush. It's about James hunt and niki Lauda in the 70s. I didn't know much about it before but really enjoyed it. Had a few cocktails watching it too which was nice smile
Kids are at grandmas so enjoying the peace this morning
Hope everyone's ok

amberlight Sun 15-Sep-13 08:34:46

Quite fancy seeing that film, Malt.
Slept for ten hours shock which is very unlike me.
Shall leave brew out for everyone

KurriKurri Sun 15-Sep-13 09:50:40

Glad you enjoyed the film malt - sounds good, - I think DH would enjoy that too - I bought him the DVD of that film about Senna (a couple of years ago) which he really liked.

NJ - supermarket shopping is pretty taxing at the best of times - its a lot of trailing around. Hope you are feeling a bit less exhausted today.

<gratefully accepts a coffee from amber> - glad you got a good nights sleep.

jchoc - I need to look up myfitnesspal again - I did do it last year at some point, and it is good, - self discipline is my problem, I need to get back into a routine of exercise - I use bad weather as an excuse not to go on my walks! - but I could put a raincoat on! grin

I had a lovely day at my workshop yesterday - I managed two small paintings while I was there, which I was reasonably pleased with (they aren't perfect, but watercolour/pen and wash is a new thing for me so they were first attempts)
Strangely the guy teaching it came round, looked at one of my pictures and suggested I put a bit more shadow in it - fair enough - then he said 'do you mind if I 'hit' your painting?' I looked bemused and he said 'you know, do you mind if I paint on your painting' to which I replied 'I'd rather you didn't actually' so he went a bit huffy and said he'd have to show me on a separate piece of paper. Odd. Anyway - he picked out one of mine as a picture he liked at the end of the session, - so presumably he was trying to get back in my good books grin Maybe I was rude, but I really don't like people painting on my work - I'd rather it was wrong but mine, than right and someone else's IYSIM.

Hope everyone is having a peaceful Sunday - nice weather here so I may go into the garden shortly. DD is playing organ at the harvest festival at local church, DH is off to a conference in Aberdeen tonight (plane leaves about 7pm I think, although he is worryingly vague about flight time as ever!)

love to all x

It is indeed very quiet on here!

malt I'm glad you had a fun night out (was it a date?) and hope you've had a peaceful Sunday smile are the children back yet?

amber glad you got a lovely long sleep, you must've needed it smile

KK don't think you were rude, I wouldn't like that either. Art can't really be wrong anyway grin that's what I tell myself anyway. I'm not very good at it but I enjoy it and that's what matters! I hope you don't feel I'm overstepping but I tried various diets and the like a few years ago but the only thing I've found to work long term has been, after reading Susie Orbach On Eating, to only eat when hungry, stop when full, really be mindful of the eating, but to eat whatever I want - it sounds like it could never work, I was expecting to always be wanting chocolate and cake, but I find I want such a wide variety of things and it's more often that not vegetable based things. Anyway I know different things work for different people but just wanted to suggest it as it has made such a difference to me, I never worry or feel guilty about food anymore, which is so liberating!

Quiet day here. Went for a walk in the woods, my parents did some foraging for a blackberry, apple and elderberry jam my dad wants to make, and I collected some sticks and leaves and acorns as I'm wanting t make some kind of autumnal display thingy in a vase. Dinner now smile x

KurriKurri Sun 15-Sep-13 19:45:40

Ruby - I think that is v.sensible advice - I am very guilty of eating when I'm not actually hungry, - just eating for the sake of it. Thank you - I shall give that a go.

Walk in the woods sounds lovely - it has poured down all day here - so no walk for me today.

Gigondas Sun 15-Sep-13 19:59:04

Back from French France (where it rained too)- scattering goodies on trolley for you all.

Had lovely time but very tired so marking space.

malteserzz Sun 15-Sep-13 20:37:27

Glad you're back ok gigs hope you get a good nights sleep tonight
Ruby yes the kids came back about lunchtime and we've just taken them out for tea which was nice. Your walk sounds good
Kk I'm not surprised you didn't want someone else to paint on your work, surprised he thought that would be ok. Ruby's advice about eating is good, and remember don't eat all of your friends leftovers lol ! I'm guilty of eating when bored, stressed etc
Amber 10 hours sleep sounds lovely you must have needed it

If is very quiet on here but guess thats good as means people are busy and haven't got any major worries. Hope so anyway

Kurri I really recommend the Susie Orbach book, it's very short, not lots of info, just focuses on the "keys". I got my copy from a charity shop I think but a friend got a copy for a penny plus postage on Amazon. I've recommended it lots as it really did make such a difference to my self esteem smile raining lots here too, luckily managed to time our walk between morning and afternoon showers! It's got steadily heavier through the afternoon and evening.

gigs welcome back to rainy England grin hope you have a restful night

malt tea out sounds fun. Hope you're still managing not to have too many chemo side effects smile

I'm getting a bit restless before op tomorrow, I hate the run up as always worry I've not followed the instructions properly. I'm allowed light breakfast before 7am which hasn't happened before as I've always been on the morning list, so been fretting a bit about what counts as a light breakfast! Hopefully porridge will be okay smile

smee Sun 15-Sep-13 21:11:07

Sneaking in quickly to send Ruby a huge hug for tomorrow. Hope it's not too grim. Will be thinking of you xx

So cold.. though DH assures me it's not. Hope you're all toastie. smile

trice Sun 15-Sep-13 21:22:35

Good luck for tomorrow Ruby.

I eat when I panic as it stops the physical symptoms usually. A cup of tea and a handful of almonds usually calms me down. I would prefer toast but am on a self imposed anti cancer diet, so deviating would just make me panic more.

trice Sun 15-Sep-13 21:25:47

Dh's aunt used to date James Hunt. She says he was absolute sex on legs (or wheels). The photos look incredibly glamorous.

BetsyBoop Sun 15-Sep-13 21:36:09

Just hopping on to wish ruby well for tomorrow - will be thinking of you

v. tired so off to bed shortly

<waves> to everyone else, hope you had a good w-e

KurriKurri Sun 15-Sep-13 21:48:09

Thanks Ruby - I shall get myself that book. Loads of luck for tomorrow sweetheart xx

Thank you all very much smile night night, sleep well x

malteserzz Sun 15-Sep-13 21:56:54

Good luck ruby I'm sure porridge is fine they probably mean not a full English or something !

topsyturner Sun 15-Sep-13 22:34:23

Good luck for tomorrow Ruby , how long do they think you'll be in for ?

amberlight Sun 15-Sep-13 22:36:10

Good luck Ruby...

notJenkins Sun 15-Sep-13 22:47:58

Hope tomorrow goes well for you Ruby x

kitkat1967 Sun 15-Sep-13 23:02:42

Good luck for tomorrow Ruby. Toast and cereal OK when on afternoon list so porridge will be fine.

jchocchip Sun 15-Sep-13 23:12:08

All the best for tomorrow, ruby.
We had a busy day out - flypast by red arrows and little walk across to island lighthouse. Scrummy fish and chips for sunday dinner, they had no idea of portion control though...

Gigondas Mon 16-Sep-13 06:58:08

Morning all - sending you love for smooth morning ruby.

Jchoc love your pics from weekend.

Malt sounds like you had a good weekend- Is it treatment this week for you? And it's usually quieter in here on weekend which I take as a good sign.

Quiet day here- my arm very sore( saw dr lovely on Friday who tweaked my painkillers to help). May be as I did too much shopping - new tops, jeans and Jacket.

reallyreallyworried Mon 16-Sep-13 07:25:23

Morning all.....

Good luck for today ruby hope all goes well. thanks

Sounds like most of you had a lovely weekend smile mine was quiet and okay, until I came to say goodbye to mum at the train station sad I have been so keen to get back to work and normality, but yesterday as I said goodbye, it hit me that although my family are at the end of the phone, and live just a few hours away. Basically I am on my own! So I cried for half the journey, then a few friends text me, which helped! Then I arrived back at my bosses house, to a cheer as I walked through the door. They told me how much they and the children have missed me. grin

I don't start back at work till Thursday, as I have a couple of hospital appointments before then!

So today is my appointment with the surgeon, to find out what they found, IF they got it all, and if it has spread to the lymph nodes. I am just hoping that they have it all, and I won't need more surgery!

Then I suppose I will find out, what treatment is next. On my very first appointment the surgeon said, she thought I would have 6 weeks of radiotherapy after surgery! I've kind of got used to that idea, so I'm sort of hoping that is what I am told today.

I'm not sure IF I should go expecting the worse, so I'm not so shocked, or go with a positive attitude! Already feeling a bit emotional this morning, not really sure why!

Anyway I have gabbled on enough. Hope everyone else has a good day.


topsyturner Mon 16-Sep-13 07:51:17

Good luck to you for today really
What time is your apt ?

Morning to everyone else (big yawn)
I'm sooooo very tired today . Don't know why , not done more than usual this weekend ?

Gigs sounds like a successful shopping trip .
I have the urge to splurge on something nice , fecking bills keep getting in the way though ...

malteserzz Mon 16-Sep-13 07:52:10

Morning all
Really best of luck with your appointment today hope you get the best news you can. Lovely that your employers were so pleased to see you smile

Gigs morning thought of you as I saw the advert for the orange ones new series ! No treatment for me this week next one is a week in Thursday but feeling good so going to make the most of this week

Sending positive vibes to ruby
Morning Jchoc loved your red arrows pics

reallyreallyworried Mon 16-Sep-13 07:55:07

My appointment is at 11.

So not too long to go! Xx

good morning all - and special thoughts and love to ruby and to you really - fingers crossed for good results !
Had a nice weekend, took loads of T's old clothes/school uniform to charity shop, bit of drawing,and lovely lunch out yesterday with parents - mum managed pretty well (finds getting out difficult-eats very little) -it was really delicious and she had a fabulous pudding which she loves ! Birthday cake at parents later on- no meditation which felt a bit odd,not going (had prosecco at lunch- didn;t want to drive)
Today- roughs to do and picking up S from school to walk her home (will prob be last few terms as she's in yr 6 now)
Back on capecitabine and feeling slightly sick this morning.

Gigondas Mon 16-Sep-13 08:45:11

Really -am not surprised you are feeling wobbly as hospital appointments especially when going to get results are nerve wracking but it will be good to get clarity and your head round what's next.

Topsy I am knackered too - sleeping better (tho 4am wake up from someone small yelling about sodding Barney didn't help). Cant see today being that active.

Mas sounds like a nice day even tho didn't go to meditation. Cake looks lovely on FB.

Malt- that's good not til next week so you can have an active week. gringrinAt orange one - I am drawn to mags with him on when ever I see them tho I notice his ex was on one of mags going on about how she would take a paternity test. They really do spurn a world of mad ..

Just popping on quickly to wish really love and luck for today's appointment.

I had my porridge before 7 then got back into bed so have had a nice extra sleep. topsy it's a very minor thing, no incisions or anything, so should be allowed out a couple of hours after smile

Hope everyone has a good day x

smee Mon 16-Sep-13 10:01:27

Still thinking of you Ruby. You too Worried. Will keep all things crossed at 11am for the best of news. xx

Waving to all. Drowning in work, so had better get on.. brew for anyone? smile

topsyturner Mon 16-Sep-13 10:22:47

Is it Happy Birthday To Mas day today ???
Sending Birthday Bumps your way if it is grin

malteserzz Mon 16-Sep-13 10:41:41

I was wondering the same thing topsy is it today Mas? Happy birthday if it is x

KurriKurri Mon 16-Sep-13 10:52:17

Came online a bit late but sending loads of good wishes to really for appt today - hope all goes well.

Happy Birthday to you MAS (If it is today) any nice surprises? Is there cake for later?

more love to Ruby xx

Gigs -Hope the arm settles down soon, - are you home now, or still poncing about abroad? grin

Quiet day here too - Dh is away and the TV is playing up - we got it started eventually but it's a bit touch and go - we daren't turn it off atm!

love to all.

birthday tomorrow smile had early celebration with the old ones ! some cake left from yesterday (adding to trolley) and I daresay some other deliciousness !
What did you eat in French France gig ?

foofooyeah Mon 16-Sep-13 13:57:58

Afternoon - had a nice weekend. Small wobble on Saturday but nothing that a Nando's dinner and half a bottle of red couldn't resolve.

really hope all ok with your apt today and you too ruby

Having been waking up early I now find I am sleeping for England.

Still have hair atm

topsyturner Mon 16-Sep-13 14:43:30

What's this "1/2 bottle" of wine of which you speak of FooFoo ?

malteserzz Mon 16-Sep-13 15:30:52

We were a bit premature with the birthday wishes then!
Been out shopping and for lunch, not liking this wind at all though, has anyone's wig ever blown off ?grin

reallyreallyworried Mon 16-Sep-13 16:13:36


Let's begin with the positives. My wounds have healed nicely! So now I can finally enjoy a nice bath, without having to avoid getting the dressings wet! (I am so easily pleased) I am allowed back to work, as planned on Thursday. Have seen and hugged my little monsters grin highlight of my day!

Now the not so good news! sad

The nodes that they removed were cancerous, so I will need surgery to have all the nodes removed. I will also need a couple of scans to check that things haven't spread. Doc said she doesn't think things will of spread, but then they thought my nodes were clear, when they did the ultrasound. So think I will just wait and see.

I went in prepared for the worse, or at least I thought I had. The truth is, they told me the news they offered the sympathetic smile and apologies. Then I left and burst into tears, just outside the hospital.

Then the worst thing for me! I had to call my mum and tell her. I cried, she felt bad that she wasn't here with me etc etc. It's like I said to her, I have chosen to have my treatment near work, and I don't expect her to come to every appointment. There's nothing she can do, her being here won't change anything and in fact, I think if she was here, I would be more worried about her than dealing with my own feelings.

So I did the text round to everyone else! God I hate passing on shit news. Got a couple of Very Supportive replies and a couple of not sure what to say replies. My boss who works in the hospital, popped down for a chat, which I thought was soooooo sweet of her, and daddy boss text to say IF I needed a chat this afternoon, he would leave work and meet me for a coffee! Bless them both!!

I opted to have some me time! Bit of retail therapy! Even got a nice new pair of PJ's ready for my surgery! (felt like I was doing something practical)

Anyway, I am now waiting for appointments for scans and surgery. Surgery won't be for a couple of weeks as surgeon is on holiday, lucky her! I'm quite pleased though, as it means I have time to get back to normal, before dealing with more surgery.

Sorry for that very long post! I really do gabble on!

Ruby I hope all went well for you today. thanks

Hope everyone else had a good day.


malteserzz Mon 16-Sep-13 16:25:18

Really sorry that the news wasn't better but spread to the nodes does seem quite a common thing, mine had too though I'm having the chemo first then the surgery ( I can't remember why now as everyone else seems to have it the other way around )
Have you got to have chemo ?
Give yourself time to get used to the news, I know I was gutted when I found out
Work will keep you occupied, but make sure you rest too when you can x

smee Mon 16-Sep-13 16:30:10

Oh worried, what a complete sod about the nodes. If it makes you feel any better it was in my nodes - 4 out of 22. I remember how scary it was. No point saying don't worry, but very good odds it's just in the few they sampled and all scans will be clear. A lot of us on here have found that. Do you have to tell everyone just yet? I found it easier not to tell people until I knew everything. That way you don't have to keep doing it iyswim. xx

KurriKurri Mon 16-Sep-13 16:38:49

That's a bugger about the nodes really, and it is horrid news to deal with especially when you weren't really expecting it (I had exactly the same thing happen to me - and like you I burst into tears - and it took a few days to get myself together again).

It's a good idea to keep yourself occupied and do practical stuff while you wait for your surgery, - PJ shopping v.sensible! Make sure you try to get some rest and relaxation and plan a few nice things to distract yourself. smile

It's great that your bosses are being supportive, - is your BCN a nice approachable type? - mine rung me every other day when I was waiting for surgery - and it kept me going, or are there any cancer support centres near you - I've always found them very good for a supportive chat if you need it smile And of course we are all here and rooting for you too xx

reallyreallyworried Mon 16-Sep-13 17:17:43

Thanks for the positive replies.

Yes Kurri my BCN is lovely and very approachable. Sadly she was on holiday today! In fact she has been away for both times that I have had results! I did tell her that if she didn't like me, she only had to say grin She'll be back next week and I will try and arrange to go in for a chat. Maybe a bit more detailed chat. Funny how after your appointment people ask you questions, and you suddenly realise that you didn't think to ask the doctor that?! I suppose at the time you're just letting the initial shock sink in!

I do have a very good cancer centre near me. I will try and go tomorrow afternoon, to say hi, and see what help and support they can offer.


kitkat1967 Mon 16-Sep-13 17:22:17

Sorry you didn't get the news you wanted really and like the others say it does take a while to get used to.
Are you going to be having chemo after the Op - I think you originally said it wasn't on the cards but I'm guessing that may have changed now?
You also said you are having scans - is that a CT scan? Between us on this board I think we have had every possible scan at some point so if you have any questions do ask.

Retail therapy is def the best thing to do - come back and tell us if you found any nice PJs. (My onc office is by some very nice shops and I feel obliged to have a little shop every time I go there - particularly as I get free parking at oncs so it would be rude not to take advantage.)

oh poo really that's a pain but fingers really crossed that it's nowhere else - think the nodes hold it up on it's travels anyway - retail therapy definitely a v good idea.
Wine also xxx

really sorry you got such rubbish news, but it's lovely your bosses are so supportive. Bowel cancer is a bit different but mine was in two nodes. Someone on here described them as the dustbins of the body as they collect all the rubbish, so they catch the cells before they head elsewhere. Still pretty scary to know it was on the move though, I know, but they will give you whatever treatments are necessary and it will more than likely all be okay smile

I'm home now. Procedure was cancelled. I don't mind that at all, just hated being there waiting, I ended up crying for most of the wait blush they've changed the admissions lounge as it used to have a waiting area where you could sit with your relative until the time of the op, just going into a bay to do the paperwork and obs etc. but they've changed it now so my dad wasn't allowed to wait with me and everyone just sits in individual bays for the whole time. I took a puzzle book but it didn't distract me enough and I just kept thinking about my other surgeries and how I'll never be normal and I got really upset sad that's not like me at all so hopefully I will soon shake it off. Thank you all for your good wishes smile

topsyturner Mon 16-Sep-13 18:47:05

Oh bugger Really , I'm sorry to hear that . So glad you have such supportive bosses , makes such a difference not having to worry about that side of things .
I've had CT , MRI , and bone scans . So any questions , ask away !

topsyturner Mon 16-Sep-13 18:49:53

Ruby you didn't get anything done ?
What a bugger !
Have they rebooked you ?
(I was cancelled when I went in for my mastectomy , and I burst into tears too . So you're not alone there)

KurriKurri Mon 16-Sep-13 18:54:30

Oh Ruby - sorry you got upset, its horrid having to sit about doing nothing with no company - too much time for your mind to wander and to start thinking about 'stuff'. You've had a hell of a lot to deal with - it would be strange if it didn't get a bit overwhelming a times. And a bit rubbish that you had to sit and wait on your own, - our hospital is like that, - and its OK if you don;t have to wait long, but hanging around for hours alone is miserable.

Annoying that your procedure was cancelled (although good that you don't mind) -have they given you a new date?

Anyway big <<hugs>> you are a gorgeous girl and we love you xx

Gigondas Mon 16-Sep-13 18:56:42

Oh no ruby -I cried when cancelled my procedure and boo that won't let your dad wait with you.

Really - sorry it wasn't better news but glad bosses supportive and you got some pyjamas. As others have said, node involvement is common and lots of others had it and are out the other side.

Ate lots of bread, brioche at weekend and had gorgeous meal out at bistro which ended with proper crepe suzette.

Knackered today so spent most if this morning asleep and arm hurting like hell still - more painkillers needed I think plus day of woo tomorrow again which should help.

kitkat1967 Mon 16-Sep-13 18:56:58

Oh no Ruby what a pain. I hope you get a new date asap. When are you due to start Uni?

Gigondas Mon 16-Sep-13 18:57:22

And another vote for ruby the amazing here x

Hello all, I'm new to this thread

I had lumpectomy 11 days ago, and sentinel node removal. I was given my results today. Lump classed as 6mm grade 2. But cancer cells were present in one of the five nodes removed. I'm so disappointed!!!

I meet the oncologist tomorrow. I'm expecting to have Onco DX test to help them decide if I should undergo chemo or not.
I went into appt expecting to get details on when I'd start Radiotherapy ...

I'm holding it together, but I feel sick to my stomach.

P.s. Really - the story of your surgery is almost a complete replica of mine! Down to the admission time, delayed surgery and resulting overnight stay.

KurriKurri Mon 16-Sep-13 19:25:29

Hello MomOfTwo -and welcome to the thread, although of course sorry you have had to join us. Sorry also that you had bad news today - it is a a shock and takes a day or two to get your head round it, and I'm sure we all identify with that sick feeling - its quite normal to feel pretty wobbly until it sinks in.

from you user name I'm guessing you have little ones? - there are several people on here with young DC who will be able to give tips on how to talk to children about it all.

Its good you are seeing your onc, tomorrow - not too long to wait before you get more info. and a clearer plan of action. IME having some sort of plan, and knowing what the next step is, makes it a bit less scary and uncertain. And you can focus on what is coming next and deal with that.

Do you have someone who can go to appointments with you for support? A tip I always say is to write down anything you want to ask and take your notebook in with you - its very easy to forget what you wanted to say, and also handy to write down anything they say, because again - it can sometimes be hard to take it all in. (Or if you have someone with you, they can take notes for you)

Good luck with your appt, tomorrow - I hope it all goes well and you feel a bit less shaky afterwards. Stick around for handholding, cake and [tea] xx

amberlight Mon 16-Sep-13 19:30:14

Really...drat and double drat. Large wine for you whilst they sort that lot out. The odds are still jolly good at the moment, by the way. In case that helps.

Ruby, argh re today!! Not what you need.

Gigs, grr re hurty arm. Not good. Woo aplenty tomorrow, I hope.

MomofTwo, welcome! Though sad you're joining us of course as no-one wants to be on this journey. Hmm, small slow grumpy lump, yours then. Always scary when anyone finds out there are cells in nodes, but the nodes are there to stop the cells going anywhere else. They're the fish net for the body. So it's not the bad news it first sounds like. Luckily the modern treatments are not fun but they really do work for nearly everyone. Let us know what's what with oncologist tomorrow?

Better be wine all round, I think.

DH got home to find the police in our garden after an attempted break in. Luckily nothing taken and no damage done, though neighbours had stuff taken from their outbuildings. Argh.

KurriKurri Mon 16-Sep-13 19:35:40

Oh amber - that's a bit scary - glad nothing was taken, - not a nice feeling though that someones been trying to get in. shock

BetsyBoop Mon 16-Sep-13 19:57:54

really sorry it wasn't better new, bugger - but as has been said it's the node's job to catch all the "rubbish"

momof2 - welcome but sorry you find yourself here and that you didn't get better news today. Any qus just shout, nothing is off limits here smile

gigs I`hope you get some relief from the pain in your arm sad

ruby* - cancellation is rubbish sad I'm not suprised you cried

amber - wow that's a bit scary - I hope you and DH are okay, it can shake you up a bit - passes medicinal wine

<waves hello> to everyone else

Spent this morning trying to get my craft room sorted - we swapped DS's bedroom and my craft room over during the school holidays and there have been boxes of my stuff stacked everywhere for weeks... (DH says I have enough stuff to open my own shop grin) - so now I'm knackered... Enjoying the last few days before my next poisoning as I'm expecting to be in bed this time next week...

malteserzz Mon 16-Sep-13 20:17:28

Ruby I'm sorry it was cancelled and that you had to wait on your own that's just rubbish hmm I would have cried lots too x x

Mum of 2 welcome but sorry you have to be here. 6mm and grade 2 sounds positive but shame about the node. Hope you find this thread as supportive as I have, ask us anything at all, rant, cry, talk about your day whatever will help x

Amber that must have been really scary hmm

Hugs all round I think x x

topsyturner Mon 16-Sep-13 20:22:36

Welcome Momoftwo , shitty that you have to join us , but you are very welcome !

Amber that was scarey I'm sure !
Thank goodness nothing was taken .

I need more wool .
DDs teacher goes on maternity leave in a couple of weeks , and I'm meant to be making a blanket for her .
Need to get my arse in gear .
I was thinking yellow and white as we don't know what flavour she is having ?

topsyturner Mon 16-Sep-13 20:24:29

Very jealous of Betsy having a craft room !
(Although friend who is a primary teacher told me they have a craft table at school . And the standing joke is it stands for "Can't Remember A Fucking Thing gringringrin )

reallyreallyworried Mon 16-Sep-13 20:50:26

Sorry your day didn't go to plan ruby but you sound fairly positive and upbeat about it.

Hi mumoftwo your right our stories sound very alike, sadly! You'll be glad you posted on here, these ladies are a fountain of knowledge, and are amazingly supportive!

I have just had the best end to my shit day. I went down to help with my little monsters bath time. They were soooooooooo excited about me being there. They both told me they had missed me so much, and that they love me, and when was I coming back to take them to school/nursery. Then the youngest told me, I looked so pretty! He is a little charmer, but seeing how excited and happy they were, to see me, made my day!

I am going to help out tomorrow evening too. I can't wait smile I love the fact that the children don't care about the surgery, or the fact I've been dealing with all this crap. They care about me, being back with them dealing with their lives. Kids are an amazing pick me up grin


BetsyBoop Mon 16-Sep-13 20:53:35

he he topsy Can't Remember where I've put A Fucking Thing would have been perfect for my old craft room, but I'm determined to be more organised now (don't have a choice really as the room is only 9'x9') I've "found" loads of stuff I'd forgotten I'd bought smile I definitely have more than enough stuff to last my lifetime, even if by some miracle I live to 90

BetsyBoop Mon 16-Sep-13 20:57:50

x-post really - I know just what you mean, the kids (mine are 5 & 7) keep me going and provide a welcome distraction of fun and laughter. smile

Shootingatpigeons Mon 16-Sep-13 21:32:07

Ruby That was another fine experience your hospital has put you through. I suppose at least you weren't in a cupboard this time. I get more angry each time I read about your latest experience. No wonder you were crying. Do they ever ask their patients what they could do to make their experience of treatment a bit easier? You cope with it with such good humour, they don't deserve you. I hope you get another date soon. When do you go off to uni? I just dropped Big Pigeons off at her latest student flat via the inevitable trip to IKEA. As you would expect she had to leave the desk we got last year behind as she has one at the new flat, but buy a Billy bookcase for her because there isn't a bookcase at the new one (but a huge one in her last room). I may have contributed obscenely to landfill with all the Billy book cases I have bought and tipped over the years.... We followed around lots of parent and student combinations. We also bought a fluffy white unicorn head, with leaves in it's mane , I know that you find Big and Little Pigeons IKEA purchasing desires inspiring grin

Reallyand Mom It is shitty when you find out it is in your nodes, it is usually incremental and so just feels like one bit of bad news after another. Mine showed up in a PET scan, Consultant having not picked it up in ultrasound either, the technician refused to tell me even though it was pretty bloody obvious that he was taking lots of readings so I imagined the worst until they were removed. However those of us who are in the positive nodes club on here probably outnumber the ones that aren't and in my group of friends who went through all this twelve years ago we are all still here even those with 7 and 8 involved. We were all also moms of two small kids sad

gigs Sorry you are now paying for your Paris fun but I'm sure a bit of woo will do wonders.

Little pigeons has come home very down as the sixth form were kept back this morning to be told that one of them has just been told that his Cancer treatment has not worked and there is nothing more they can do. His older sister is in her year as well. It is such a horrible horrible disease and little pigeons has no illusions about it. It sounds as though they were very good about telling them the facts without any smaltz and sentimentality, offering those who need it / are close counselling and telling them not to make a fuss of his sister, but to talk if she wants to. Very very sad.

trice Mon 16-Sep-13 21:41:51

So sorry that it has been a shitty day for Really, Ruby, and even Amber. Hope for a brighter day tomorrow - I am going in to discuss lung drainage with onc.

I have been trying to find a holiday let in France with a large pool and six double bedrooms (we go with extended family) . I am a bit nervous about booking for a year ahead but sod it, I have to stay positive!

really what a fabulous boost smile you must be a wonderful nanny. The children sound very sweet.

Thank you everyone smile the crying came before the cancellation though blush that was the embarrassing thing haha, it was just being all alone for hours in a cubicle thingy in the place where most of the rubbish of the last year or so has been focused! I'm feeling much better now after a little nap and dinner and game of cards smile

topsy I remember you asked us about the blanket a while back, yellow would be gorgeous, it'll make a lovely change from all the blue or pink stuff she will get when the baby is born!

MomofTwoGirls welcome but sorry you've found yourself here sad and especially sorry for today's rubbish news. Give yourself time to take it all in. It will seem much more manageable once you've got a plan.

betsy it's surprising how tiring it is sorting craft stuff isn't it! We sorted lots last week and got rid of most sad I was torn as so many lovely ribbons but no idea how I'd use them.

amber what an utterly horrible fright sad just knowing someone tried to get into your property angry I hope the police catch them. wine for you!

gigs boo to pain, I hope tomorrow's woo puts it right smile

kurri you're so kind. <Hugs tightly back> I knew you would all understand. My dad came to collect me but mum came too and she isn't great with emotions, quite impatient, and didn't get what I meant at all. She would probably have used the time to create lists and plans and mentally organise a few cupboards or something smile

I love you all lots smile x

shooting the unicorn head sounds fabulous! I'm still gutted the flamingo blankets sold out before I could get one sad what I reeeeeally fancy is the tinsel Christmas tree they do each year, as in the trunk and branches are made of tinselly stuff grin

I'm moving into halls on 29th and then term starts the week after. I'm hoping to be fit and well enough to enjoy Freshers week grin

Hospital wasn't too bad really, the nurses are so lovely and kind, it's just all the bureaucratic crap and patients' feelings soon get forgotten higher up the chain! kurri summed it up nicely, it's too much time alone with one's own thoughts in an anxiety-inducing place. Not much they can do to make it less hospitally grin but it really would be nicer to let people have one person wait with them, or have a group seating area with a telly or something!

Oh massive massive squeezy hugs for littlepigeon cancer is just grr there are no words horrible enough angry. That poor boy and his family. Glad the school are handling it as well as possible.

I hope bigpigeon is all settled in. Typical about the furniture grin Freegle/Freecycle is your friend for billy bookcases, they go like hot cakes round here!

trice French villa and pool will be brilliant! Definitely stay positive and book it I say smile this time last year ex and I went with a couple of friends to a villa in Portugal with a pool and it was amazing, just absolute bliss.

Thanks all for the welcome!
It will be good to hear other people's stories and to benefit from your experiences.

News comes on a bad week. DH is travelling. Still, I've done all the other appts so far on my own. So I guess I'll get through another one. Rest of family doesn't live nearby.

Now I'm going to wind down with a very large glass of red wine, and flick though some crap tv that I have recorded on Sky Plus.

I guess I will be spending time here visiting with all of you instead of AIBU!

KurriKurri Mon 16-Sep-13 22:53:36

How sad for littlepigeon - so hard when this bastard illness hits such young people - it seems so unfair.

Ruby - just a couple of weeks until you start! - how exciting, I'm sure you will be well enough to have a great time in Freshers week smile

DD and I have just watched Tinker tailor Soldier Spy on DVD - are you supposed to have a clue what is going on in that film? - I couldn't follow it at all! - I just looked at Benedict Cabbagepatch and Colin Firth instead. grin

jchocchip Mon 16-Sep-13 22:55:36

Hi momof2 wine just what is needed. Bugger about the node, really. Your bosses/charges sound lovely.
Ruby, drat about the cancellation, too.
And amber hope everything is not-too-unsettling.
Cat asleep on dh's jumper.
Dd is not keen to relive the sailing adventure anytime soon. Sick buckets were involved!

jchocchip Mon 16-Sep-13 22:57:14

Cabbagepatch grin
Didn't know there was a new series of doc martin <ignorant>

snailsontour Mon 16-Sep-13 23:10:08

A mixed day for us all I see... Although some good news for me. I had my 6 week post surgery appt with my ps today and he confirmed that the tissue removed at my last op was all clear! We like all clear.

So I now have a couple of months off from hospital appts, and I shall use the time wisely to chugg around French France chilling - and drinking wine and eating cheese!

Hooray for snails ! Big welcome to mom and grrr and hugs for dear ruby and for amber Hope the woo helps tomorrow gig nighty night all xx

foofooyeah Tue 17-Sep-13 00:36:06

pigeons - your post about the 6th former made me cry - I find it so sad when a child (and they are still children) of that age suffers. Its as if you have just safely raised them - they are due to launch on their own - and then tragedy happens. I find it quite unbearable.

I need to know - what is 'woo' ??

two fingers up to Reallys nodes - cheeky buggers. Glad your charges cheered you up - and two fingers to Rubys .

Should really try to get some sleep but am unsettled this evening

foofooyeah Tue 17-Sep-13 00:37:31

sorry I lost the word cancellation in my post - honestly I wasn't putting two fingers up at you Ruby

amberlight Tue 17-Sep-13 03:44:38

Woo is alternative therapies and things, I think. Well it is when I say it grin

reallyreallyworried Tue 17-Sep-13 05:30:02

Morning all

Bit of an early start for me. Been a restless night. Bit sore after having the dressings removed, although I am glad they are gone. Also can't switch off from yesterday's news.

I am feeling slightly more relaxed about things, after reading that alot of you have been through the same thing, and you are doing okay smile I hope this is just a little hiccup and the next time I go in for results, I might get some positive news!!

Today I am meeting a friend for coffee, 'oh the joys of doing something so nomal'! I also might drop into the cancer support centre near me. Will be nice to find somewhere I can go, IF and when I need a friendly ear! Although of course I know I can always pop on here grin

Congratulations snails on your great news. Enjoy your hospital appointment FREE time smile

Hope everyone else has a good day.


malteserzz Tue 17-Sep-13 05:55:33

Morning amber and really
I'm awake early too cant get back to sleep, dh getting up soon to head down to London anyway
Glad you're feeling a bit better about things really
Bloody windy here again I can hear it !
I'm out for lunch with friends today
Fed up of invites to the Macmillan coffee mornings next week, will be glad when that's over. Moan moan !

Happy birthday lovely Mas, hope you have a wonderful day x x

Gigondas Tue 17-Sep-13 06:33:53

Morning all -just lost a big post , grr.

I hear you about Macmillan - annoys me too malt (which is unreasonable as they helped me but just don't want constant reminders. Will get worse as isnt October pink bc month).

Happy birthday mas xxx

Amber hope being up so early isn't cos mulling things over- sorry to hear about attempted break in, very horrible for you .

Welcome mum of 2 - how old are your girls? Mine are 1 and 5 . You will still need a good old read of Aibu and relationships to divert your anger as there are some posters there who truly deserve it. I found it therapeutic.

Really- hugs for you but glad seeing your kids helped.

Pigeons- that is very sad about boy little pigeons knows . Hope big pigeon all settled in.

Ruby how you doing?

Kurri - how is your shingles pain? Meant to ask as thought of you as suspect fact I was so tired yesterday was cos of extra drugs night before.

Trice - go and book it . If need to change plans can fix later but I reckon you will be fine. I was discussing with dh how Wont let chemo get in way of future trips to French tesco.

Day of woo (reflexology and acupuncture), maternity cover nanny doing day to meet kids then out to dinner.

malteserzz Tue 17-Sep-13 07:10:23

Enjoy your day of woo gigs and hope nanny gets on ok. How's big gigs getting on at school is she doing full days now ?

foofooyeah Tue 17-Sep-13 07:17:28

Aha, so now I know what is woo is! I have some woo tomorrow as a friend is coming to do some reiki healing on me.

I have a royal visitation today - my mother is coming round. Now she is lovely really and generous but there always seems to be underlying disappointment in how I look, what the house is like etc. I feel I have to tidy up before she comes round and make sure I look nice - both of which I can do without on 3 hours sleep.

kitkat1967 Tue 17-Sep-13 07:18:39

Busy morning on here already. I'm back in bed as kids have left for school.
Got lots on today - onc this morning and hopefully get new plan, GP in the afternoon to review BP (as no longer high!! plus not seen her since referral to breast clinic in May) then surgeon this evening for more pumping up. Will also pop into work for lunch which will be nice.

kitkat1967 Tue 17-Sep-13 07:21:09

foo the last think you need is to start cleaning. Since my diagnosis my mum has become self appointed ironer - all I have to do is make sure I keep washing so she has some to do.

foofooyeah Tue 17-Sep-13 07:24:07

kitkat that is one of the reasons my Mum is coming over - to do the ironing! Rest of the time we wear creased clothes ....

Busy day for you .... hope you get your plan sorted .... and the pumping goes well!

kitkat1967 Tue 17-Sep-13 07:51:49

foo - we even get ironed bedding now - very nice but not something to get used to!!

malteserzz Tue 17-Sep-13 07:59:59

Foo foo you have the perfect excuse if the house and you don't look your best !
Kitkat will keep my fingers crossed for you that you get a definite answer today as to what comes next, is dh going with you to the onc ?
My friend who had her lumpectomy at the same time as me couldn't have chemo due to having a kidney transplant and she finishes her radio tomorrow, really pleased for her but jealous as hell grin

malteserzz Tue 17-Sep-13 08:00:46

My mum also does my ironing and did even before all this ! It's dhs job anyway I hate ironing !

good morning !! al loading the trolley today with birthday goodies - hope ironing mum visit is good foofoo and that gig has lovely day of woo.
Am probably drawing a bit today,or at least trying top think of ideas for new book (did I say I'm on to a book of football jokes ?) - have been trying to design a picture for a lovely family in Denmark - quite tricky.
Swimming later then something nice for supper and prosecco,naturally.
Am a bit worried about my mum as dad says she has what looks like the beginning of pressure sore (she has to sit most of the time-is very thin and bony) Am worried about dad. Have told him to ask practice nurse for advice and they will be sure to have those foam cushion rings at pharmacy.

I iron as dh always puts iron on vaguely warm setting and everything is just as creased as before. Mum used to iron for me when T was newborn. I tumble lots of things to avoid the tedium.

Shootingatpigeons Tue 17-Sep-13 08:12:48

foofoo I had a little cry in the night too, and I thought I had got used to the shit Cancer throws at people but I just feel so sorry for the boy and his family. So unfair. I hope you Mum is in relaxed mode. I clean up when my cleaner is coming...

Gigs Agh, at the approach of the pink month. One of the charities is at it already with various wannabee celebs going without make up for a day shock the poor darlings hmm they have tweeted their sufferings. I am sure we are all feeling really honoured and touched at their sacrifice, wonder if anyone will sponsor me to go boobless for the day (see it is winding me up already.....)

kitkat hope Onc is helpful. You could try asking the what would you do if it was you? question which can get some useful access to their intuition rather than logic, IYSWIM.

Ruby you must be counting the days to getting back to uni, hopefully your hospital can get its act together to get you all sorted and tuned up to cope with Freshers. I think big pigeons lasted about 3 days first time around before Freshers flu got her in spite of me sending her off tuned up with fresh fruit and Vit C .

snails smile

really yes those little ones really do cheer you up and keep you in touch with normal.

kk <beware those of a nervous disposition, this may be just too much excitement> I have seen cabbagepatch's bits, in the altogether, in RL. I went to the National production on a night he was playing Frankenstein which meant, it being a very edgy Danny Boyle production, that he was on the stage when you arrived nude except for a foetal sac. It seemed a bit careless just leaving him around the stage like that with all those punters on the loose. Then he broke out of the sac, like you do, and didn't get any clothes on for a good twenty minutes smile

Shootingatpigeons Tue 17-Sep-13 08:15:36

***thanks HAPPY BIRTHDAY MAS thanks * wine

PictureThis Tue 17-Sep-13 08:54:17

Morning all, only a flying visit as I'm off for round four this morning, T and Herceptin, I've been loaded up with my 8mg (twice a day) of steroids since yesterday and if's not been too bad at all. Maybe the fun begins when mixed with chemo!
Anyway Happy Birthday mas, have a wonderful day and drink lots of Prosecco.
Lily I'm fine after last week's adventure and would do it all again in a heartbeat but would maybe ask for the GA a bit at the beginning
Talk to you all later <chucks Prosecco on the trolly for Mas>

KurriKurri Tue 17-Sep-13 09:02:51

Morning all smile

Many Happy returns MAS xx cakethankswinebiscuit (the biscuit is one of those iced party rings, or an iced gem if you prefer grin)

Hooray for good news snails - have a fab time in French France.

Gig - have nice 'day of woo' - hope it help with the pain and you feel nice and relaxed afterwards. My shingles is very up and down - I get maybe a week when I hardly notice it, then it seems to come back with a vengeance - last night I was very prickly and my eye was sore too (which seems to be a new additional pain I am getting with it now). But I just took ordinary pain killers as DH is away and I so of feel I need to be reasonably alert to see to the dog in the night etc. But certainly if I take the drugs I feel very groggy the next day - so am sure that is what was making you tired.

Foofoo - have a nice day with your mum, but don;t knock yourself out cleaning for her - I'm sure she will understand. Great she is doing your ironing - will she do mine do you think? grin

MAS - yes to getting a cushion for your mum, my Dad had the same problem as he was sitting a lot - he had a sort of inflatable pressure cushion that SS gave to mum. Hope your Mum is OK - I got a pressure sore on my elbow when I was in hospital during chemo (because I had to have my arm in one position for days) - and they are nasty sad I was given a sort of thick foam bandage to wear.

Good luck at the onc. Kitkat - and hopefully they will give you a better idea of what is going on this time smile

Shooting -<hugs> -it is so sad for that boy's family - and sad that you know your DD is going to have to deal with losing a friend,sad - bastard bastard disease angry

Eeugh to the Cabbagepatch's bits, I haven't had my breakfast yet - now I don't want any. Men's bits are revolting - I am reading The Bell Jar at the moment and Sylvia Plath says about seeing mens bits 'all I can think of is turkeys and gizzards' grin

He is a strangely attractive chap with his clothes on though, and quite a nice person I would guess.

love to all - good luck with all appts. if I have missed anyone xx

Gigondas Tue 17-Sep-13 09:18:39

Wow we are chatty today. I don't clean or iron ( mr gigs calls me pig pen) so am resident source of mess .

Kitkat good luck with surgeon and enjoy your lunch out.

Picture hope no 4 goes well.

grin At men's bits but agree kurri. Am iimpressed with your reading -am enjoying the detective story jk Rowling wrote under an alias (cuckoos calling) at moment so would recommend.

Malt- big gig in year 1 now as June baby so only just 5. She seems to be doing better in concentrating (is there full days)- think likes new teacher plus we have her in spare room to sleep so doesn't get disturbed by mini gig .

Coffee and tv time now I think. Also to look up a fashion fights bc tee shirt to wear when next see pigeons...

Morning all. I've dropped in for a few mins to pass some time between school drop off and heading out again to my first onc appt.

* Gigondas*. My DDs are 9 and 11. A relatively easy age. The are capable of being pretty independent, when they need to be...

malteserzz Tue 17-Sep-13 09:55:23

Good luck mom of 2 with your appointment and picture with your treatment, hope all goes well

Gigs got mixed up as lots of my friends kids are starting school at the moment, glad she's getting on ok smile year 1 can be tricky,depends on the school but for some it's a big jump between being very play based in reception to more formal work

Have been back to bed again after the kids left for school think its getting to be a bad habit now

KurriKurri Tue 17-Sep-13 09:56:32

Hello - MomofTwo - what time do you have to go to the hospital today? Oncs are usually a nice bunch IME - and hopefully you will feel reassured about you treatment. 9 and 11 are nice ages - good fun and I'm sure they will help you through all this just by being themselves.

Gigs - I'm reading the Bell Jar for book club - so don't be too impressed grin although I am really enjoying it, its very sad (especially in the light of what happened to her), but also funny and she writes beautifully.

Ooh fashion fights BC - thank God we've got fashion on our side - we can ditch all that old chemo nonsense now grin

KurriKurri Tue 17-Sep-13 09:58:25

malt - don't worry about going back to bed if you are tired - it is important to pace yourself, and rest when you can, otherwise it catches up with you - if the kids are at school then that is a good time for you to recharge your batteries.

snailsontour Tue 17-Sep-13 10:41:56

Happy B'day Mas - another year older is good.

Good luck today picture, may Tax and Herceptin be as kind to you as they were to me.

Positive nodes are a bummer really and momoftwo, and it is disheartening I know to hear that the pesky cells have travelled - but that does show they've done their job and foiled a sneaky escape plan! There are lots of us here that had positive nodes, and we plan on being here quite some time!

PictureThis Tue 17-Sep-13 10:57:28

I have a temperature apparently, although my bloods are ok and I feel well. They'll recheck it in 30 minutes and if it's still up (37.5) then they'll check with the onc and may have to delay things for a week. Oh bugger.

malteserzz Tue 17-Sep-13 11:01:45

What a pain picture sending cooling vibes to you
Do they normally take your temp, mine don't