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Further news from Teacake Towers

(1000 Posts)
tunnocksteacake Wed 28-Aug-13 09:47:43

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

mummylin Wed 28-Aug-13 09:51:45
crabb Wed 28-Aug-13 09:51:53
mummylin Wed 28-Aug-13 09:53:35

You and your family are in my thoughts.sometimes when you fear the worst, you can get unexpected good news.awful awful time for you all, hope your dh,s op goes well

tunnocksteacake Wed 28-Aug-13 09:56:52

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

mummylin Wed 28-Aug-13 10:17:00

This thread is going to be the thread of hope for you.if good wishes could heal, your dh would be fighting fit by now, we are all rooting for him and you.

magimedi Wed 28-Aug-13 12:04:05

I love Teacake Towers - and yay for the driving lesson.

greenhill Wed 28-Aug-13 12:22:54

Keeping busy is good, especially when you are being productive arranging meetings and driving lessons, but don't forget to have a sit down and rest too tunnocks even if its only having a cuddle with your DC as they watch a bit of CBeebies or a DVD. Shaun the Sheep is very popular with my 3 and 6 yo.

Don't forget to look after yourself too. Did you eat when they had lunch?

neffi Wed 28-Aug-13 12:49:45

Your husband sounds like a wonderful man and you sound like a lovely woman. Your love for your husband and children shine through your posts.

You do have the strength to get through whatever life throws at you, I'm sure of it and if you can't scream and cry and shout in public, you can do it here where we will hold your hand and help to find the hope.

Hang on in there my love.

scarecrow22 Wed 28-Aug-13 14:24:57

through all this you made me smile when I came looking for the new thread. What a gift you have for life. Hope I can be among the many here to offer hand holding, a listening ear and even some cheer.

sybilfaulty Wed 28-Aug-13 14:52:49

I did refresher lessons too Tunnocks and they were brill. For my confidence quite quickly. Once you have has a few you can attempt journeys in your own car. I remember the triumph I felt in getting yo the shops with no one tooting me!

sybilfaulty Wed 28-Aug-13 15:18:52

Awful typos in that post, sorry.

PastaBeeandCheese Wed 28-Aug-13 17:34:57

Good luck for your lesson tunnocks

IwishIwasmoreorganised Wed 28-Aug-13 19:48:04

You're still being very productive - I'm without doubt that the driving lesson (s) will make things much easier for you in the long term.

As for school, I'm pleased to hear that they're in the picture and are supportive.

A month off is good too. Gives you one less thing to worry about and feel obliged to keep updated.

Plod on. Not long now until 'operation reclaim health' begins in earnest.


tunnocksteacake Wed 28-Aug-13 21:04:05

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

tunnocksteacake Wed 28-Aug-13 22:04:21

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

IwishIwasmoreorganised Wed 28-Aug-13 22:08:01

Bran flakes count as dinner, especially as you had fish and chips for lunch - don't make a hair out of it though!

It sounds like you've had a lovely day and it's great to hear how close you are to both sides of your family. That's going to be a great help I'm sure.

Sod what Gina Ford thinks - you and your DD are happy snuggling in together and that's what counts!

Stuff GF grin - sleepy cuddles are lovely!

Crap, tunnocks, I just caught up with the end of your other thread and you sounded really sad sad; who could blame you, really, but I prefer the 'tone' of this thread so far!

Why is this happening to you and yours? Totally because sometimes utter, utter shit happens to nice people (and total gobshites win the lottery) - sorry, being cross with Life always gives me potty-mouth.

'Tis not fair and it's certainly not Right in any shape or form that your family is having to deal with your DH's illness and all the fear, uncertainty and grieving for the future you thought you had. Thank goodness though for the love you have for each other and the supportive family you have - on both sides.

I've been away for a few days but was thinking of you frequently. Please continue to look after yourself - this is a marathon and not a sprint. I know the date of the surgery will be writ large on everybody's mind, but that is just the beginning. Keep breathing, eat and rest when you can. A wise person on a thread with a critically ill child said "Don't borrow problems from tomorrow" and I wish this was easy advice to follow: try your hardest to live in the moment, deal with today's problems today and tomorrow's problems tomorrow rather than getting worn out by anticipated disaster.

And yes, lives are saved in hospital every day (contrary to the popular press sometimes), you just keep reminding your of that.

<<manly thump on tunnock's back>> no tears here, no siree, no

tunnocksteacake Wed 28-Aug-13 22:13:19

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

IwishIwasmoreorganised Wed 28-Aug-13 22:14:06

Don't make a habit! Hair wouldn't be too tasty!

tunnocksteacake Wed 28-Aug-13 22:18:47

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

tunnocksteacake Wed 28-Aug-13 22:21:34

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

You know, I often have people say to me "I suppose there is people worse off than me" almost as if to dismiss their own struggles as insignificant compared to others. My response to that tends to be "yes, maybe there are people worse off than you, but there are also people better off than you and both of those groups of people are irrelevant to what you are going through".

Much as one could argue that it is kinda hard to think of 'worse' than your situation, it is your burden to bear just now and in my eyes the worst of it, is the uncertainty. Nobody can predict an outcome for you, your DH and your whole family.
Once you out of this terrible time you might be able to look back and say 'This was the worst' - or it will be lost in a fog of exhaustion and being terrified and you are just glad your have all come out the other side.

I think your smoke alarm is asking to have hammer taken to it tbh grin - v therapeutic

lborolass Wed 28-Aug-13 22:33:29

Just found you again, I'm so pleased that you sound much more positive on this thread, long may it continue.

Best wishes for tomorrow, I hope it all goes well.

Paddlinglikehell Thu 29-Aug-13 00:10:14

Good to find you here and holding up.

I like Weston, very fond memories of childhood holidays and 'helping out' on the donkey rides! Sad the pier burnt down, but great they rebuilt it. I always imagine all the coins now buried under the sand beneath the new pier.

Tomorrow will be routine, weight and stuff. I had my pre op. two weeks before my op, and then went on holiday and probably put on half a stone, apparently unlike animals, they don't do anaesthetics by weight, which is just as well!

I go to hospital tomorrow too, to find out the results of my breast lumpectomy, the surgeon said it didn't look a 'nasty' one, so holding onto that thought. Got to try and think positive.

Cuddle your little ones while you can. DD is nearly 9 and she still sometimes asks me to lie beside her as she goes to sleep. I have to admit to recently going in and lying beside her during the night too - just in case.


PastaBeeandCheese Thu 29-Aug-13 06:28:01

Encouraged that you didn't post in the night. I really, really hope you slept through.

I cuddle my 21 month old to sleep every night. I didn't know that was wrong shock. She's too gorgeous to be plonked in her bed without a few rounds of Away In A Manager in August and a snuggle.

I think it's great you're taking your aunt today. Hopefully she will be able to remind you to ask all the questions you want to ask but might otherwise forget. I hope it is ok for you and they are nicer than last time.

Have you had a chance to make a list of questions about the op and his post op care so you are less likely to forget once you're there?

MrsShrek3 Thu 29-Aug-13 07:43:07

love the thread title
and the lack of nocturnal posting smile

BoreOfWhabylon Thu 29-Aug-13 08:12:55

Here you are, Tunnocks! Have been away and couldn't find you when I returned last night.

The things I would like to say have already been said so much better by Pacific and others, so will just add that, like so many others, am holding you, your DH and DCs in my thoughts and my version of prayers.

(and I too have wonderful childhood memories of trips to Weston - the tide always seemed to be out when we were there, we called it Weston-Super-Mud!)

Shhhhh! TT is still asleep... grin

Well, at least I hope you had a restful night's sleep and are now toddler-wrangling rather than in the depths of despair.

Wishing you a Good Day thanks

tunnocksteacake Thu 29-Aug-13 09:44:46

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Mmmh, macaroons... <<drools>>

Have one.
Remember to take your List of Questions, pad and pen with you today.
Glad to hear you've both got family support today.

Everything crossed here as ever x.

Norem Thu 29-Aug-13 10:42:10

Good luck today Tunnocks, remember to ask any questions you want.
So sorry you are going through all this xxxxx

mummylin Thu 29-Aug-13 10:51:34

Hope all goes to plan today and maybe you can get some reassurances from your dh,s team

OnlyJoking Thu 29-Aug-13 11:01:43

Thinking of you all today, glad you have good family support and friends that send you edible gifts.

mummylin Thu 29-Aug-13 12:47:37

Hello Oj , hope you are doing ok.

hillyhilly Thu 29-Aug-13 17:22:57

Hope today's been ok Tunnock.

LegArmpits Thu 29-Aug-13 17:39:11

Thinking of you Tunnocks.

scarecrow22 Thu 29-Aug-13 19:20:40

Gina Ford doesn't have children. Nothing wrong with that, but if she did she might be a little bit less strict about indulging in one of life's sweetest pleasures - cuddling your child to sleep.

Hope today brought some answers and perhaps hope, or at least a sense of progress. Been thinking of you lots

Jenny70 Thu 29-Aug-13 19:41:07

Thinking of you Tunnocks, haven't posted before - my DH had brain surgery before I met him (not cancer, a cyst, but mostly fatal due to lack of diagnosis) - and he is 100% now.

In a weird way when I/we have faced other health issues before success stories filled with me with dread, as if someone else had "taken" the 10% success and I must be "left" with the other... which is nonsense... but your DH sounds absolutely lovely and I am wishing you the very best results from MRI, surgery and to your fundraising project beyond. Statistics include those that come into the condition in a very bad way, so have everything crossed that he does fantabulously well and this shadow is lifted from your little family.

MissStrawberry Thu 29-Aug-13 19:54:32

I can't say anything more than I hope today went as well as it could and don't forget to put some new batteries in the smoke alarm.

I hope you had a productive meeting with your DH's team today and lots of questions were answered.

sybilfaulty Thu 29-Aug-13 22:34:20

Hope today gave you more of a timetable for the journey to wellness

Thinking of you all.

HighJinx Fri 30-Aug-13 06:39:56

I hope it went well yesterday.

Thinking of you x

tobiasfunke Fri 30-Aug-13 09:41:50

Checking in today to send some postivie vibes and hope it went ok yesterday.

greenhill Fri 30-Aug-13 09:54:33

Thinking of you and your family and sending positive thoughts your way.

alli1968 Fri 30-Aug-13 10:28:19

Thinking of you today - much love xx

thinking of you all today.

jumpingpillows Fri 30-Aug-13 11:56:07

thinking of you

Hi again Tunnocks. Nice to see you on a nice shiny new thread. I hope this weekend isn't too difficult for all of you. The waiting is the worst.

Paddling I hope you had good news today.

Oops I mean yesterday!

ots Fri 30-Aug-13 16:17:53

Hope yesterday went well thanks

tunnocksteacake Fri 30-Aug-13 21:12:22

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

eleflump Fri 30-Aug-13 21:39:10

Have been following your thread and just wanted say that I have been thinking of you often and sending virtual support your way.

Have not posted before as everything I wrote just seemed banal somehow, so I ended up deleting it.

I hope you get some much-needed rest tonight, and good luck with the driving tomorrow.

Best wishes to you all - you are in my thoughts and prayers.


tunnocksteacake Fri 30-Aug-13 22:02:09

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PastaBeeandCheese Fri 30-Aug-13 22:34:09

Hope you're enjoying your dinner.

Huzzah for your aunt and her gin - I hope you had a stiff one.
Glad to hear today went without hiccups.
Here's hoping for a good night to you all x.

MrsShrek3 Fri 30-Aug-13 22:42:38

Being fit is a mahoosive advantage. Have a good weekend with the family. smile

tunnocksteacake Fri 30-Aug-13 23:14:53

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Oh, sweetie (hugs).

You're getting ahead of yourself, please try not to.
Here's here, right there with you. Hang on to that just now.

have more gin

Goodness me, I can't even try to give comfort without typos, so sorry.

He's here etc.

Paddlinglikehell Fri 30-Aug-13 23:23:23

Hi Tunnocks, Aunt sounds great, made me chuckle. Pictured her with large bag (a la Poppins) big bottle, glasses the works, setting it up in the waiting room.

Don't think too much. Live for the moment.

I'm around for an hour or so if you want to ramble!

Tunnocks - I can get Bettys macaroons any day of the week. If your friend's gift gives you a taste for them and you want more let me know.

mineofuselessinformation Fri 30-Aug-13 23:23:57

I'm so glad to see you have a new thread Tunnocks! I felt terrible when I realised I had used the last post and you didn't have a new one. Good wishes and positive thoughts most definitely coming your way. smile

SurvivalOfTheUnfittest Fri 30-Aug-13 23:28:44

Tunnocks I've ummed and aahed about whether to post on your threads because I am the kind of person who would only ever want to hear the positives. I hope you can read the following in the way that I intend it, which is to reassure you that, should the worst ever happen, you would manage. I say this as someone who lost their 39 year old husband during a game of football 4 months ago to an undiagnosed heart problem. I can't begin to imagine how frightened you are right now, but I can only tell you that I personally am finding the way through life after dh, with ds1, aged 5, and ds2, aged 3, little step by little step. I am hoping beyond hope that you will never get to that point, but I sense that your fear of that unknown is troubling you deeply and I wanted to offer some reassurance. If you'd rather this was deleted, I'll report it. In the meantime, I'm thinking of you all, wishing you all strength and good fortune and hoping that the best possible outcome will be realised.

tunnocksteacake Sat 31-Aug-13 09:21:26

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Survival I am so sorry for your loss. That is a lovely post. Bless you & your family.

Tunnocks still thinking of you and sending lots of prayers and love your way.

tunnocksteacake Sat 31-Aug-13 17:40:54

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

tunnocksteacake Sat 31-Aug-13 18:04:09

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

mummylin Sat 31-Aug-13 18:14:11

Tunnock I know it's incredibly hard for you at this time, but try and think positive thoughts .it must be hard when you see others around you seeming to appear as normal , but they are probably being like that to try and raise your spirits a bit. They don't want you to see them upset and falling to bits.
You have an awful time ahead of you. But this is something that has to be done in order to give you and your dh a future.
We are all in your camp and hoping for the best possible outcome.

Survival, what a brave post. I did not post on your thread at the time, I think, because I just did not have the words. It is good to hear that you have found a way to carry on. Much love to you and your family x.

tunnocks, it is so hard when everybody carries on as if your world had not just been taken off its axis and the sun still shines inspite of the slowly unfolding disaster affecting you all. They are not doing it deliberately, don't hold it against them.
I hope you find a shoulder to cry on and rant against when you need it. Is there anybody who is able to just listen to you? Not to offer solutions, but to just be there?

You're putting old baby clothes away because you have Hope. There is always hope. You may not have the last DC, but that is not a decision to be made just now.

tunnocksteacake Sat 31-Aug-13 19:28:07

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Congrats on the driving! How did you feel confidence-wise?

I agree with Pacific and mummylin - your friends and family are trying to be normal for you. If it all gets too much for you though I'm certain no one would mind if you took yourself off for a quiet moment (another necessary loft visit maybe?) or even kindly let them know you need some space and ask them to come again another time?

SurvivalOfTheUnfittest Sat 31-Aug-13 22:29:39

Driving progress sounds impressive.

In answer to your question, Tunnocks, if you walked into my house without knowing what has happened, you wouldn't have any idea at all. We saw some of dh's relatives this week for the first time since the funeral and they just kept commenting on the boys' resilience. Yes, I'm answering a lot of questions about hearts, death and what heaven is like, usurally at bedtime, but until 6.59pm each night life goes on pretty much as normal. The boys have become much better friends and I am doing my best to bring them up as dh and I planned. Would dh be upset by this? Absolutely not. He'd expect nothing less, and I hope he'd be proud of all three of us. I'm taking this term off work (I teach) so that I have half a chance to process my own feelings. I would say take moments of time our for yourself whenever you can or need to. Try to find good things in every day. Sending you love, strength and optimism. (and thanks to the others who commented above - I'm not meaning to hijack).

tunnocksteacake Sat 31-Aug-13 22:48:40

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SurvivalOfTheUnfittest Sat 31-Aug-13 23:08:26

Try and enjoy some of tomorrow if you can. Take some photos and cuddle each other lots.

I don't think I'm doing anything extraordinary. You will cope with whatever is in store for your family because you have to and because you love them all. I think the tough times help us to find out just how strong we really are. Sometimes I wish I didn't need to find out, but it's quite reassuring to have found that the world does keep on spinning, no matter what, and yours will too. Sleep well.

sybilfaulty Sun 01-Sep-13 06:09:58

Great news on the driving Tunnocks. A huge milestone for you. One beep is fantastic. Driving is just confidence a d practice. Hope you get to do some more in the next few days or weeks.

I hope today is peaceful for you. If it all gets too much, retreat to another room and take a moment. Tomorrow is the first step to reclaiming wellness. You see nearly on your way.

Love to you xxx

scarecrow22 Sun 01-Sep-13 07:46:49

brilliant about driving. You are one brave lady.
Thinking of you today, tomorrow and in the weeks ahead, and hope I can be here for you at some point if needed.

Wishing you a happy Sunday with your family.
Maybe go for a Sunday drive? wink

Thinking of you.

Nocakeformeplease Sun 01-Sep-13 18:20:04

Just wanted you to know I'm thinking of you.

We're at the hospital now, ready for tomorrow morning. I'm not sure if your going in today or tomorrow? I actually feel slightly better now we're here and getting on with it - I hope it is the same for you.

Much love and strength for you both tomorrow xx

tunnocksteacake Sun 01-Sep-13 18:56:48

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

tunnocksteacake Sun 01-Sep-13 18:57:54

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

IwishIwasmoreorganised Sun 01-Sep-13 19:47:16

Lots of love and good wishes for tomorrow Tunnocks and Nocake

I'll be looking in for updates, whenever you feel ready to do so.


sybilfaulty Sun 01-Sep-13 19:51:15

Love to you Tunnocks for tomorrow and also to you no cake. I will hold you all in my thoughts for tomorrow and will check in regularly throughout the day so do post if you need virtual support.

Much love to you both xxxx

Will be praying for you and dh tomorrow tunnocks.

Capitola Sun 01-Sep-13 20:11:02

Have been and will be praying for your dh tomorrow, Tunnocks.

SurvivalOfTheUnfittest Sun 01-Sep-13 20:11:31

Thinking of you all tomorrow. Remember to breathe.

Just adding my best wishes for tomorrow, tunnocks. For you too, nocake and anybody else who might be facing scary stuff tomorrow. I hope you all have somebody by your side tomorrow to hold your respective hands in RL.

SESthebrave Sun 01-Sep-13 20:23:31

Tunnocks - thinking of you and MrTunnocks. You and your children are in my prayers particularly tonight x

MadameJosephine Sun 01-Sep-13 20:27:10

Good luck for tomorrow tunnocks I'll be thinking of you and mr teacake

You too nocake and your little DS

Its just not fair that you have to face this at all but I hope everything goes as well as possible for you all flowers

mummylin Sun 01-Sep-13 20:29:17

Wishing your dh all the best in the world for tomorrow Tunnocks. And to you nocake. May you both be blessed with a positive outcome. We are all with you

out2lunch Sun 01-Sep-13 20:34:22

best wishes to you both for tomorrow xx

mymatemax Sun 01-Sep-13 20:36:38

my best wishes for tomorrow, thinking of you all

BoreOfWhabylon Sun 01-Sep-13 21:15:14

Best wishes to the Tunnocks and the Nocakes for tomorrow xx

ots Sun 01-Sep-13 21:32:00

Will be thinking of you tomorrow Tunnocks. Hope all goes as well as it can xx

Faverolles Sun 01-Sep-13 21:43:58

Thinking of you all tomorrow.
Good luck xx

Adding my prayers and best wishes Tunnocks xxx

TwentiethCenturyGirl Sun 01-Sep-13 21:58:01

Another one who'll be thinking of you and your DH tomorrow Tunnocks. I hope that everything goes as well as possible.

HairyPotter Sun 01-Sep-13 22:03:39

I'll be holding you all in my thoughts tomorrow. I hope everything goes well xx

tunnocksteacake Sun 01-Sep-13 22:14:52

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

mineofuselessinformation Sun 01-Sep-13 22:29:26

'So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.'
Seemed appropriate Tunnocks.
And all of MN is with you too.

TheChocolateTeapot Sun 01-Sep-13 22:34:42

You are all in my heart and my prayers tonight. xxx

Theonlyoneiknow Sun 01-Sep-13 22:37:39

Thinking of you Tunnocks x

FutTheShuckUp Sun 01-Sep-13 22:43:17

Just want to let you know I will be thinking abut you all day tomorrow. I remember being there so vividly. The sheer terror then hope all rolled into one big stressful long ass day. You will get through it though I promise. Hang in there lovely, hang in there x

neffi Sun 01-Sep-13 22:48:38

Another who will be thinking of you tomorrow, with all my best wishes for good news at the end of it.

greenfern Sun 01-Sep-13 22:48:46

Thinking of you good luck and god bless x

HunterWellies Sun 01-Sep-13 23:10:35

You are in my thoughts and prayers too xx

Hellenbach Sun 01-Sep-13 23:17:01

Thinking of you both and sending prayers x

Paddlinglikehell Mon 02-Sep-13 00:09:30

Hope tomorrow goes OK.

Will be thinking of you all.

Newlywed2013 Mon 02-Sep-13 01:00:25

Just caught up, I wish you all the best for tomorrow. It sounds like your husband is a healthy, fit man so everything should be in his favour!!
Stay strong xxx

tunnocksteacake Mon 02-Sep-13 05:37:27

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

HunterWellies Mon 02-Sep-13 05:47:34


Keeping you in my thoughts today. We all are. Good luck lovely. xx

Bugsylugs Mon 02-Sep-13 05:57:33

Keeping you all in my thoughts today.

PastaBeeandCheese Mon 02-Sep-13 06:18:51

Will be thinking of you today tunnocks. Be brave.

Mogz Mon 02-Sep-13 06:36:20

You're all in our thoughts today Tunnocks, best wishes.

Barbie1 Mon 02-Sep-13 06:58:09

Sending you and your dh positive thoughts for today and beyond x

ExcuseTypos Mon 02-Sep-13 07:16:40

Of course you are petrified tunnocks, that's perfectly understandable.

I wish you could feel all the Mnetters around you today, supporting and holding you, when you need it. We are all here for you.

upjacobscreekwithoutapaddle Mon 02-Sep-13 07:34:11

First post, lurker from afar admiring your strength and fearing anything I said would be totally inadequate. Sending you all the love and luck there is to get through this crappy day.

Badvoc Mon 02-Sep-13 07:37:01

Thinking of you all x

scarecrow22 Mon 02-Sep-13 07:44:01

thinking of you all day (())

archfiend Mon 02-Sep-13 07:45:47

Another lurker wanting to wish you luck and strength for today. Will be thinking of you. flowers

Marrow Mon 02-Sep-13 07:58:30

Thinking of you all today.

greenhill Mon 02-Sep-13 08:06:51

Thinking of you and wishing you strength and good luck flowers

NorkyButNice Mon 02-Sep-13 08:44:31

Thinking of you all today, hope time passes quickly.

Trazzletoes Mon 02-Sep-13 08:54:16

Hi I've found you again. Thinking of you all x

MirandaWest Mon 02-Sep-13 09:08:28

Am thinking of you all today x

Much strength and love sent your way today x.

Almostfifty Mon 02-Sep-13 09:16:02

So glad I found this today. You are in my thoughts.

Think of you all today x

chocolatelime Mon 02-Sep-13 09:31:28

Hope it all goes well. There will be so many Mumsnetters across the country thinking of you & your family today and wishing you well. I hope that you have got someone with you to support you at the hospital.

I've followed your threads from the start, although I'm not sure if I posted.
Wishing you strength and hope to get you all through to tomorrow. I too will be thinking of you flowers

OnlyJoking Mon 02-Sep-13 09:57:37

Thinking of you all today, I hope you have people around you to support you through the day. I know you've been dreading today, which is understandable. Today's op will bring together a treatment plan and lead the road to wellness.

Twunk Mon 02-Sep-13 10:56:50

Tunnocks I have been following your story and I just want to let you know that I am thinking of you xx

alli1968 Mon 02-Sep-13 10:56:51

I havent posted before but have been watching from the beginning. Am thinking of you and sending you love and strength to get through today and the coming days xxxx

serendippity Mon 02-Sep-13 11:07:37

Another watching from the beginning, wishing you all love and strength x

HighJinx Mon 02-Sep-13 11:24:05

Another thinking of you and sending lots of positive thoughts your way xx

mrsblakey Mon 02-Sep-13 11:58:18

Another who has followed your journey......
I hope you keep up your strength in the days ahead & keep positive xxxxxxx

Meatyfeet Mon 02-Sep-13 12:45:01

I'll be thinking of you both today and wishing you well xx

Norem Mon 02-Sep-13 13:16:59

Thinking of you all today tunnocks xx

BoreOfWhabylon Mon 02-Sep-13 13:22:00

Tunnocks, there are thoughts and prayers coming from all over the country and beyond. I hope you can feel us x

Another lurker - just wanted to say I am thinking of both you and your DH today and hoping for positive news soon x

Another lurker to let you know I am thinking of you both today. X

sybilfaulty Mon 02-Sep-13 15:23:35

Just checking in.

Hope you are all doing as well as possible in the circumstances. Sending love and prayers.

FondantNancy Mon 02-Sep-13 16:21:00

Just found your thread. Sending your wee family all the positive vibes I can muster. xx

You've all been in my thoughts all day, tunnocks - I've checked on the thread a few times, but did not know what to say.

Lots of positive wishes winging their way to your and your DH.

LadyMacbethWasMisunderstood Mon 02-Sep-13 17:19:19

Another lurker stopping by to say I've been thinking of you all today.

eleflump Mon 02-Sep-13 17:32:11

Been thinking about you all today x

Last thing I am doing before shutting down and going home is checking for an update and saying another quick prayer Tunnocks. Thinking of you x

icecubed Mon 02-Sep-13 17:43:17

Thinking of you and your special family

Elibean Mon 02-Sep-13 17:59:43

Another one thinking of you, and your family xxx

Spottypurse Mon 02-Sep-13 18:04:51

I have thought of you often today. I'm not one for prayer but warmest thoughts and good wishes are winging their way from me to you yours and anyone who holds you dear in their hearts.

tunnocksteacake Mon 02-Sep-13 18:21:04

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

I'm not surprised you feel like that. And the lead up to today was so nerve wracking that this time was bound to be an sort of anti climax ina weird way.

MrsShrek3 Mon 02-Sep-13 18:25:37

((hugs)) tunnocks. I doubt you know what to feel after all this worry and build-up. Relief takes far longer (if at all tbh)
well done for getting through today. Have some time with DH and be kind to yourself too
thanks thanks

LegArmpits Mon 02-Sep-13 18:28:36


Ruprekt Mon 02-Sep-13 18:31:48

thanks And brewbrew and (((hugs))) smile

I haven't posted before but have been thinking of you today Tunnocks. Glad the op went well for DH. It's no wonder you feel like this at the moment, it has been such a huge effort to get to today for you.

Sending you lots of love.

Have you seen him yet?

greenhill Mon 02-Sep-13 18:51:35

It's bound to be a bit of an anticlimax, at least this stage is over. The operation went well and your DH is out of surgery soon. He is still here. Hold onto that thought.

flowers and brew and cake for later.

HairyPotter Mon 02-Sep-13 18:53:50

I'm glad it went well (as can be) and I hope you are able to see him soon [hug]

BoreOfWhabylon Mon 02-Sep-13 19:03:15

In my experience it's normal to feel the way you do after you've been running on adrenaline, Tunnocks. Hopefully you will be able to see DH soon and then I hope you will be getting something to eat and having a much-needed rest. flowers

FondantNancy Mon 02-Sep-13 19:08:57

What a day. flowers for the Teacakes.

IwishIwasmoreorganised Mon 02-Sep-13 19:20:19

This is going to be a roller coaster journey I imagine.

Yestday you were at the top of a drop, today at the bottom looking at another big climb.

We're the ones sitting next to you, in front and behind. Supporting you through every twist and turn.


Jenny70 Mon 02-Sep-13 19:30:38

I'glad the surgery went well, but sorry the nightmare didn't disappear ... it would have been fantastic to hear they got it wrong and all is fine. But concentrate on one hour at a time, ten minutes even... sending you my best wishes...

FutTheShuckUp Mon 02-Sep-13 19:32:24

Lots of love tunnocks my love so glad it all went well in terms of the surgery x just give your hubby a gentle squeeze

magso Mon 02-Sep-13 19:38:43

Thinking of you all, and sending my best wishes.
Its not surprising you feel flat, after the long days of worry. ((Hugs))

HunterWellies Mon 02-Sep-13 19:42:44

Big big hurdle out of the way. Well done to you all. Little bits at a time now, you'll get there xx

PastaBeeandCheese Mon 02-Sep-13 20:14:46

Pleased the operation is over. Hope you are with him now.

neffi Mon 02-Sep-13 20:16:59

I'm so glad that the op seemed to go as planned. This is GOOD. It is a hurdle done and dusted.

Still in my thoughts.

Not surprised you're feeling flat, you've been running on adrenaline during the build up to today and must be emotionally and physically exhausted. He has come thro surgery, try to take one day at a time and be kind to yourself. flowers and cake x

LEMisdisappointed Mon 02-Sep-13 20:22:20

oh thankyou tunnocks for posting this, i have been thinking about all of you - the op is done and dusted, thats GOOD xx

tinypumpkin Mon 02-Sep-13 20:25:03

Thank you for the update, have been keeping you in my thoughts. Sending love.

I guess part of you was hoping they'd open up his head and find nothing at all? That they could say 'oops a mistake'. I'm so sorry you've got to tread this road but you're doing really well and the op is over and that's great. Time for a bit of light? We had this in our Chrsitmas carol service last year, truly beautiful and hopeful.

Twunk Mon 02-Sep-13 20:33:46

((((Tunnocks)))) I felt the same when DS's Leukaemia was confirmed. Somehow the official 'yes' made me hit a brick wall. Even in my short experience of cancer I realise you do adjust to the new normal, though I wouldn't say so far that I've got used to it. Who would want to sad

Thinking of you.

CheeseAndFriedMushrooms Mon 02-Sep-13 20:36:12

Sending you lots of best wishes and strength x

lborolass Mon 02-Sep-13 20:42:56

Glad to hear the first step is over, onwards and hopefully upwards.

ChippingInNeedsSleepAndCoffee Mon 02-Sep-13 20:44:06

Oh love sad Of course you feel scared and lost - and very much alone, no matter how much support you have, it's natural.

I'm am so very relieved that the surgery went well and they got as much as could possibly have been hoped for.

Much love & strength

icecubed Mon 02-Sep-13 20:58:11

You are very strong and brave (I know it doesn't feel that way but you are) Hope you get to see him you are not on your own

Thank goodness the surgery is over and went as planned.

I can only agree with what others have said: the slump you feel is normal and part of the rollercoaster ride you are unwillingly on. Marathon, not sprint, remember - be kind to yourself, take your rest where you can, remember to refuel when you are able (do I sound like a broken record yet? Sorry).

I hope you can see your DH soon and that he can wake up as planned.

Adding love and strength from here to everybody else's wishes x.

archfiend Mon 02-Sep-13 21:35:03

Glad the surgery went well - that is a huge step forward. Now for some littler steps. You must be emotionally and physically exhausted, it's no wonder you are feeling a bit flat.

Hopefully you will get to see your DH and then try and get a bit of rest. Every day and everything that happens from here on is a step towards getting your lives back. flowers and brew for you.

Almostfifty Mon 02-Sep-13 21:35:45

Been thinking of you all day. I'm glad it went well.

ExcuseTypos Mon 02-Sep-13 22:05:57

Glad the surgery went well.

One hurdle over with flowers.

mummylin Mon 02-Sep-13 22:15:25

Glad at least the op is all over. What a nerve wracking day you have had you must be mentally and physically exhausted. Hope the biopsy result comes through quickly so you at least know what you have to deal with. I guess by now you will of seen him and I expect that was good but upsetting at the same time. Now is the beginning of the road back to wellness. Take care of yourself as well as DH thanks

minmooch Mon 02-Sep-13 22:57:08

Glad op went well Tunnocks. It was the longest and most awful day of my life when DS had his tumour removed as much as they could. This is a big step. I remember well the feelings of lonliness. Be very gentle with yourself xxx

tunnocksteacake Mon 02-Sep-13 23:14:42

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

tunnocksteacake Mon 02-Sep-13 23:15:14

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

tunnocksteacake Mon 02-Sep-13 23:31:37

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

mummylin Mon 02-Sep-13 23:40:25

Chatty already! Wow he is taking big strides already. Would of thought he would on been put for the count. Do pass on good wishes for a speedy recovery, I'm sure I speak for everyone in that.

FutTheShuckUp Mon 02-Sep-13 23:56:47

Please please please be proud of YOU too x to get trough today has been amazing and I'm proud of you

thefirstmrsrochester Mon 02-Sep-13 23:57:30

thanks for dh and you and your wonderful family.
How exciting for your ds going to school tomorrow.
Tomorrow is a new day & from the bottom of my heart I wish you all the very best.

Nocakeformeplease Tue 03-Sep-13 02:52:23

Hi Tunnocks. I'm so pleased your DH's op went well and he's feeling okay and chatty. It's a very draining day isn't it.

Thank you for thinking of us when you have do much going on yourself. The surgeons say the op went well. They were able to remove the main tumour and two small pieces that had broken off, however there was a third small Purcell they couldn't remove safely. The consultant thinks this is dead cells but even if it isn't, is very confident that the post op chemo will sort it out. DS seems to be fairly comfortable although is still quite sleepy. So if I accept what the surgeon said at face value it's good news but of course I am fixated on the little piece they couldn't remove and the consequences of this. Feel very tearful and scared to be honest. I know I shouldn't get ahead of myself and just be glad the op went well and they got most of it out but ....

Anyway sorry for waffling on. I really hope your DH is as comfortable as possible and makes a speedy recovery. Much love to you all x

twinsister Tue 03-Sep-13 06:28:20

Hope you managed to get some sleep tunnocks and that day one of school is a lovely new adventure for DS. You have so much on your plate. Thinking of you all from down here in NZ x

tunnocksteacake Tue 03-Sep-13 07:16:44

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MarilynMoanroe Tue 03-Sep-13 08:16:54

Wishing you and your family lots of love and strength.

I hope your ds enjoys his first day at school.

LEMisdisappointed Tue 03-Sep-13 08:57:35

Tunnocks, you are awesome - what a beautiful, loving family xx

mrslyman Tue 03-Sep-13 12:23:07

hi, I posted on your first thread, and just wanted to say glad the op went well, I have my fingers crossed for you for the next stage of the journey.

I hope your DS enjoys his first day at school.

mummylin Tue 03-Sep-13 15:29:04

I hope you have found your dh to be as chatty as he was yesterday when you first saw him after the must be so relieved that yesterday has now gone. Now the recovery can begin

Hope today has been ok.

HighJinx Tue 03-Sep-13 18:53:30

Tunnocks I am so glad that the operation went well.

I hope the first day at school went well and that you got lots of lovely pictures.

Aw, first day at school - I hope it all went very well and your DS was happy going in and you were not too emotional to see him go smile.

Wow to your DH already talking so soon after his surgery! I hope today brought further recovery. You should both be very proud of each other.

Nocakes, much love and strength to you too. Do concentrate on the good bits if you can.

Both of you, keep looking after yourselves - for your own sakes and so you remain able to be there for the ones who need you. I know that's what's important to you.

tunnocksteacake Tue 03-Sep-13 22:43:54

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Capitola Tue 03-Sep-13 22:52:40

I very much hope you will get your lovely life back, Tunnocks.

Except it will be all the lovelier for having dealt with this bit and come out the other side.

mineofuselessinformation Tue 03-Sep-13 22:52:45

Tunnocks, I hope you and yours will get back to a more 'normal' life. You just have to ride the roller coaster a while longer..... Hold tight, keep on hoping. Look after yourself (it's easy to forget that when you're worried about someone else) and take some time out if you can.

Come on honey - just keep on going <<hug>> (I know that's very un-mumsnet!)

tunnocksteacake Tue 03-Sep-13 23:25:09

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

flowers So glad he is doing well

Paddlinglikehell Wed 04-Sep-13 00:07:51

Tunnocks, give yourself -- a lovely gift-- a pat on the back. You deserve it.

So pleased to hear your news, DH will be alright you know x

Paddlinglikehell Wed 04-Sep-13 00:08:47

Epic strike through fail!!!! wink. At least that worked!

BoreOfWhabylon Wed 04-Sep-13 01:11:20

Atta girl, Tunnocks!

Mogz Wed 04-Sep-13 04:46:17

That's an epic list of wonderful stuff. Sounds like you've got some amazing support. And well done to your DS for his first day at school, how exciting!

HunterWellies Wed 04-Sep-13 06:28:19

Brilliant list, love it smile

greenhill Wed 04-Sep-13 06:39:22

What a list! smile

PastaBeeandCheese Wed 04-Sep-13 06:49:08

Great list Tunnocks. Be sure to save a slice of that cake for Bake Off!

TweenageAngst Wed 04-Sep-13 06:58:55

I finally found you again! I have been thinking about you and pleased to hear MrT is making a good recovery from such massive surgery. xx

HairyPotter Wed 04-Sep-13 07:38:47

A fantastic list!! Well done. The chocolate cake sounds amazing, never did get around to trying chocolate Philadelphia, but you have inspired me. YY to clean jammies and fresh bed linen, that's easily one of my all time simple pleasures grin

Mr Teacake sounds like he is doing well, everything that could be crossed, is crossed for you all.

Take care xx

Great list smile

archfiend Wed 04-Sep-13 08:35:48

Fantastic list! It's great that your DH is doing so well, onwards and upwards!

ExcuseTypos Wed 04-Sep-13 09:15:23

A brilliant, positive listsmile.

Loving your list.

I'm an hour south of Bristol. If you do have some hanging around time at some stage would be happy to come and meet for lunch or coffee or a mooch around a bookshop.

icecubed Wed 04-Sep-13 09:28:17

A great list x

HighJinx Wed 04-Sep-13 10:33:38

What a great list and lovely to hear that you are getting so much support from family and friends.

I would put together the unopened bottle of gin, some left over cake and Bake Off. grin

ILikeToMoveItMoveIt Wed 04-Sep-13 15:58:53

Good to hear the op went well. It may not feel like it right now, but you're coping brilliantly.

How did school go today? It was my ds's first day today. He had a great time and I was a bag if nerves!

Custardgate on the Bake Off is funny (you'll know what I mean when you watch it).

LEMisdisappointed Wed 04-Sep-13 19:35:24

Love that list - you are truly inspirational, how you are coping i just don't know, but look at you, you are - i imagine that your DH is so very proud of you, he is a lucky lucky man! Well, you are lucky too - a true love story, one that i think is going to have a happy ending xxxx

What an excellent list. I would love to share it with my DM who is all doom and gloom and working herself into the ground re my DF's illness. You are so strong, you really are.

FondantNancy Wed 04-Sep-13 20:10:39

Very positive list. You sound like such a lovely family.

tunnocksteacake Wed 04-Sep-13 21:55:30

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

lborolass Wed 04-Sep-13 21:59:17

Wow, that sounds like really great news, so pleased for you all. Hopefully you can all relax and enjoy time together while you wait to see what's coming next.

So pleased for your whole family.

tunnocksteacake Wed 04-Sep-13 21:59:29

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Paddlinglikehell Wed 04-Sep-13 22:01:11

There's always hope!

Sounds like good news, although I would be with you on the nuke the last bit! I am however nothing to do with anything medical, what do I know!

ChippingInNeedsSleepAndCoffee Wed 04-Sep-13 22:06:09

What absolutely brilliant news!! That really is the best news you could have hoped for at this stage grin grin

It sounds like you and DS are having a lovely time and what DD doesn't know wont hurt her smile & lovely to have nice family around too.

Bake Off - complete TORMENT <I'm low carbing>

BoreOfWhabylon Wed 04-Sep-13 22:11:00

What wonderful news!

Can't think of anything more to say as I find I have something in my eye.

IwishIwasmoreorganised Wed 04-Sep-13 22:14:11

I've not been able to catch up for the past couple of days, but this is fantastic to catch up with grin. Absolutely the best!

Is Tuesdays meeting to tell you the biopsy report?

ExcuseTypos Wed 04-Sep-13 22:14:15

What fantastic news at this stage tunnock. smile

You must squeeze Bake Off in, there is trifle and petite fours. (sorry ChippingIn)

tunnocksteacake Wed 04-Sep-13 22:17:55

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

tunnocksteacake Wed 04-Sep-13 22:18:35

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Ooh, treats tub! We just call it the sweetie bowl.

tunnocksteacake Wed 04-Sep-13 22:22:30

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

thefirstmrsrochester Wed 04-Sep-13 22:23:49

Wow, what positive news.
Handholding will be here on monday night (and any other time you want it).
I also might have something in my eye.

HairyPotter Wed 04-Sep-13 22:27:02

Excellent news! Go Mr Teacake!!

icecubed Wed 04-Sep-13 22:44:47

So pleased the news is as good as you could hope for

Hope the first day at school was good kerp going you really are an inspiration

You keep counting the positive things in life - what an inspiring list smile.

Glad you found the sweeties x.

mrslyman Wed 04-Sep-13 23:25:23

Glad you have some positivity, still have lots of things crossed for you.

mummylin Thu 05-Sep-13 00:18:20

What a great update from you Tunnocks, hoping that Mr Tunnocks continues to make such wonderful progress. thanks

FondantNancy Thu 05-Sep-13 00:59:39

That is an excellent update. In my experience surgeons can be a pessimistic lot so the fact yours is optimistic is really something to hold onto.

Hang in there x

scarecrow22 Thu 05-Sep-13 07:09:18

I see hope, and a future

Tunnocks, this is the most wonderful sentence. You are an amazing woman. Thank you for sharing your hope.

Will keep checking in when possible in case you need support, company, or simply to share hope.

Bless you all.

Almostfifty Thu 05-Sep-13 07:11:27

Oh that's good news. Keeping everything crossed.

Mogz Thu 05-Sep-13 07:30:26

Yay Tunnocks! Being told that watch and wait is an option is bloody amazing, the surgery must have gone stunningly well. I'm so happy for and your family that you've got this little beam of hope shining in after all the darkness you've dealt with.

PastaBeeandCheese Thu 05-Sep-13 07:34:19

That's amazing tunnocks. They don't say that lightly.

That sounds like a good day smile

HopeSpringsHope Thu 05-Sep-13 09:17:39

De-lurking Tunnocks to say I have been following your threads and have been thinking about you and your family and your DH during this most difficult week. Your last update has brought tears to my eyes. Delighted for you all. Keep that hope alive.
"Better to light a candle than curse the darkness"

HighJinx Thu 05-Sep-13 10:00:11

In my experience surgeons can be a pessimistic lot so the fact yours is optimistic is really something to hold onto.

^^ This is very true. So pleased for you that treatment is going well and your DH is looking good.

Enjoy your day x

tunnocksteacake Thu 05-Sep-13 12:48:26

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Wonderful! smile

Bakingnovice Thu 05-Sep-13 12:53:34

Have been lurking on your thread, hope you have a good day and I really admire your strength and tenacity.

Two types of cake? Lucky guy.

ExcuseTypos Thu 05-Sep-13 13:05:53


Fantastic news!


mummylin Thu 05-Sep-13 13:08:05

Wow that is unbelievable. He must be doing incredibly well. Enjoy your cake ! Mr Tunnocks will feel even better back in his familiar home, so glad for you all

greenhill Thu 05-Sep-13 13:33:59

Brilliant. Such good news to have your DH home so soon. Hope you all enjoy the cake

Mogz Thu 05-Sep-13 13:48:46

Home! Excellent! Enjoy the cakes smile

tobiasfunke Thu 05-Sep-13 13:56:29

Hoorah for MrTunnocksteacake.

I will crack open my box of Tunnocks tea cakes that I bought this morning and have one to celebrate.

Have a lovely weekend and good luck for Tuesday.

ExitPursuedByADragon Thu 05-Sep-13 13:56:34

Brilliant. Lovely to read you sounding more positive. Enjoy the cake.

Norem Thu 05-Sep-13 14:09:46

Brilliant news, enjoy having your DH home today.smilesmilesmilesmilesmile

HighJinx Thu 05-Sep-13 14:21:01

Great news.

Enjoy being home together and enjoy lots of cakecakecakecakecake

LegArmpits Thu 05-Sep-13 14:25:12

God that is amazing!! I saw some Tunnocks Teacakes earlier in the shop and thought of you all.

archfiend Thu 05-Sep-13 14:32:30

That's brilliant news! Have a wonderful afternoon eating lots of cake!

out2lunch Thu 05-Sep-13 14:39:02

wow smile so pleased for you both x

lborolass Thu 05-Sep-13 14:55:31

More good news, excellent. Have a great family weekend togther.

ILikeToMoveItMoveIt Thu 05-Sep-13 14:58:43

Brilliant news. There's no place like home smile

tangerinefeathers Thu 05-Sep-13 15:18:27

delurking to say i'm so happy you see hope and a future.

the surgeon's comments sound good, they are not in the business of giving false hope.

have a lovely weekend with your family.

magso Thu 05-Sep-13 15:40:07

Good news!

thefirstmrsrochester Thu 05-Sep-13 16:22:44

How fabulous! Onward and upward for the tunnocks grin

IwishIwasmoreorganised Thu 05-Sep-13 17:27:19

Mr Tunnocks must be one tough cookie - home 4 days after major brain surgery is an outstanding effort!

Enjoy being home together, and especially the cake!

FutTheShuckUp Thu 05-Sep-13 17:34:02

Glad the surgeon is optimistic, that is such a good sign. So glad your hubs is back home too, I've shed a tear for you over the past couple of days I don't mind admitting

Oh wow!!! That's fantastic news. You have been so strong through all of this and I have followed your posts hoping all the time for good news and this is brilliant news!! So pleased x thanks

LEMisdisappointed Thu 05-Sep-13 18:31:59

This has made me smile

HunterWellies Thu 05-Sep-13 18:38:38


Faverolles Thu 05-Sep-13 18:40:50

Brilliant updates grin

Meatyfeet Thu 05-Sep-13 19:04:41

Wonderful updates grin.

Brilliant doesn't even cover it!!

Can you plan something for Monday evening knowing the basket-case possibilities? What about going to the cinema? Or is that a really stupid idea?

Violinsqueaks Thu 05-Sep-13 19:48:25

Wonderful news, how lovely to have him home.
Still thinking and praying for you all. Xx

eleflump Thu 05-Sep-13 19:55:31

Fantastic - am so glad that you have him home.

Everything crossed now for Tuesday x

Hellenbach Thu 05-Sep-13 20:52:27

Great news! My DH op couldn't remove all the tumour and he was on watch and wait. He went for 3 years before it grew again and now 11 years later we are all still here.

Hope he isn't feeling too poorly.

Paddlinglikehell Thu 05-Sep-13 21:11:42

Incredible. So p,eased for you all.

Tunnocks will be having a sales increase, I bought some tea cakes today too!

Have a lovely weekend.

BoreOfWhabylon Thu 05-Sep-13 21:16:59

What fabulous news! Hope you have stuffed yourselves full of cake

tunnocksteacake Thu 05-Sep-13 21:19:24

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TweenageAngst Thu 05-Sep-13 21:21:51

Wow that is great news Tunnocks. Glad he is coming home so quickly.
Be prepared for overwhelming fatigue for both of you. You have been surviving on neat Adrenaline for a while and it will catch you up now this big hurdle is behind you. x

icecubed Thu 05-Sep-13 21:32:24

Great news fingers crossed for next week but enjoy your weekend
A lovely update

DangoDays Thu 05-Sep-13 21:42:55

Thrilled to read all your updates. Took me a while to find latest thread but you've all been in my thoughts. Great to hear dh is home. Have you all been enjoying a big cakefest?

FondantNancy Thu 05-Sep-13 22:20:01

Hurrah again for having DH home! I bet he is loving you playing nurse and catering to his every whim.

Have a restful weekend smile

Oh fabulous, tunnocks, so glad to hear he's home - how fast was that?! smile

I hope he was able to have some cake.

Re scar: hair will grow again, non?? I am sure the kids will overcome their initial shyness x.

Hellenbach Fri 06-Sep-13 19:23:53

Tunnocks long story short re DH:
Suspected pancreatic cancer, surgeon said if they opened him up and it was widespread they would just sew him back up.
Luckily they didn't and removed 95% of tumour.
Pathology showed it was a rare type of cancer.
Three years of watch and wait, no growth, no treatment.
Then slow growth, had Interferon for 4 years
Then periods of growth and inactive.
Currently on chemo tablets.

The surgeon said he expected DH to live 7 years post surgery, 11 years later he is still here, largely well, just quite grumpy sometimes!

Nobody can predict the future x

wickeddevil Sat 07-Sep-13 18:19:39

Hi Tunnocks,
Glad DH is home with you and you can be a family for now, hope your weekend is going well.
With love

i had your old thread in watching and was sure the op was this week so have stalked you out - glad I did and glad it went well - all crossed for Tuesday x

tunnocksteacake Sat 07-Sep-13 22:15:59

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

IwishIwasmoreorganised Sat 07-Sep-13 22:29:42

Last Monday scared you - you coped brilliantly with support around you.

This Tuesday is scarey too. It you still have that amazing support, and now you have a DH with much less tumour inside his head.

Enjoy tomorrow and Monday. Tuesday will be what it will be and once you know what you're dealing with you'll then be in a position to decide how you'll get through whatever the next phase will throw at you.

Whatever happens, you know you can vent / offload / get support here.


tunnocksteacake Sun 08-Sep-13 09:16:59

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

tunnocksteacake Sun 08-Sep-13 09:17:44

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

tunnocksteacake Sun 08-Sep-13 09:35:23

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Ah, tunnocks, it IS incredibly shit, I am so sorry you are having to deal with this.

I've probably missed this somewhere along the way, but I had not picked that up about your family.

From a distance and without all the facts, I think you have to deal with Tuesday's results and what they bring first.
Then get through whatever additional treatment your DH will need. And complete his journey to 'reclaiming wellness' (remember that? smile).

Then get thee to your GP and get referred to a Clinical Geneticist for proper, informed genetic counselling.
Cancer does NOT equal cancer; and even one braintumour is not the same as another.
I know nothing about the genetics of braintumours, but I think for you own peace of mind and to be able to not worry about your DCs you may need to find out more. When the time is right.

Much love to you x. The sun is shining here, I hope it is on you and yours too.

greenhill Sun 08-Sep-13 09:40:47

You're possibly feeling very flat because as tweenageangst said up thread, you've been living on adrenaline and will now feel exhausted as everything has been geared up to this operation for your DH. Now that's over and you've celebrated, your happiness doesn't feel good enough, as there are still other stages to come.

Logically, you know that you can't catch cancer, but as it has been a reality in your family, you are bound to feel as if brain tumours are part of your landscape. Feeling scared, anxious, low and having mood swings are to be expected. You are all going through a life changing illness.

Please be kind to yourself tunnocks flowers. Crying in the shower seems completely normal, you are trying to hide your fear from your children, because you are such a good mum. It's good to let the emotion out.

You are doing brilliantly, it just doesn't feel like it, at the moment x

tunnocksteacake Sun 08-Sep-13 09:43:17

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

sybilfaulty Sun 08-Sep-13 09:44:55

I agree with pacific. You need to get Tuesday out of the way first. It must be do stressful, waiting for that appointment, and I think it is natural to worry and think grim thoughts. I expect once Tuesday has been and gone, you will have a campaign plan a d feel calmer as you are in control.

Crying is good as it provides an outlet for some of the stress and anxiety. I am so sorry you are going through this. Sending you huge hugs and prayers for the day ahead. You can get through. Much love.

ChippingInNeedsSleepAndCoffee Sun 08-Sep-13 09:46:44

It's a good place for a good cry.

You can imagine happy family life returning if you try. Just picture what life was like before this smile There's absolutely no reason at all that this can't be your future too. Your DH has had absolutely amazing results from his surgery. TRY to live in that moment right now. Try to believe that he will be one of the lucky ones.

Don't 'worry in advance' - it really, really doesn't help. It doesn't change anything, it doesn't prepare you, all it does is make the 'here & now' horrible too - and it shouldn't be. Right now DH is here, he is doing incredibly well and his prognosis is fantastic - Please try to enjoy your family today - because for ANY of us, today is all we have xxx

sybilfaulty Sun 08-Sep-13 09:47:17

The third child isn't necessarily off the menu, though, surely? Get Tuesday out of the way and you'll know more then.

ChippingInNeedsSleepAndCoffee Sun 08-Sep-13 09:49:04

Why are you so certain you wont have a third child now?

Do your hardest to bring your thoughts back to what you DO have (a supportive family, healthy children, a husband who got through scary surgery with a very good result, your own strength and health etc) rather than of what you may or may not have in the future.

You are in that horrible place where you know about your DH's illness, but you don't actually know what Tuesday or the rest of your life will bring.
I think Chipping and I are singing in harmony here smile.

Absolutely try to 'live in the moment' if you can manage at all.

Showers are perfect places for crying.
Tiny baby steps, one breath after the other, and one step after the other.

Here's another way of looking at it:

4 weeks ago or whenever 'Before' was, you and your DH actually were in a worse position: he had an undiagnosed braintumour.

What has changed now is that you know something, but not everything. You know he is ill, you don't really know how ill, you don't know what the plan might be, you cannot possibly know what the future might bring - good or bad.

'Ignorance is bliss' is true for a reason, but ignorance is not actually better.

That third child is on your mind so much because it represents everything you fear you stand to lose. BUT YOU DON'T KNOW THAT at this point.

I am not yelling, just emphasising.
Have chocolate, have wine, have a cry, have a strop - whatever allows you to Just Keep Going Just Now.

Hugs to you all x.

ExcuseTypos Sun 08-Sep-13 10:03:35

Tunnocks I remember a very helpful thing a friend of mine said when we were going through a very difficult time.

She told me I was on a roller coaster that I wouldn't be able to get off. I would have incredible highs and lows on this journey and that I would just have to go along with this. Just knowing, if I was very low, that it wasn't going to last, it might be hours or days, but that things would move along again and change, helped me cope.

You feel very low today but things will change and move along. Things will be different soon, it's just a stage. You WILL be ok. Xx

HighJinx Sun 08-Sep-13 10:21:54

Tunnocks I am so sorry that you are going through this.

I know it is incredibly difficult to step back from the thoughts that are racing through your head but I really think it would help you if you try to see that they are only thoughts, however real they may seem.

Your thoughts are filling the gap of the unknown. Sometimes they are full of hope and other times of despair. This is completely normal as you try to make sense of everything. But try to remember that they are only thoughts, not facts.

As Chipping and Pacific has said all that exists is right now.

Thinking of you xxx

mymatemax Sun 08-Sep-13 10:41:05

Tunnocks, you don't have to keep a happy jolly face on every day you know.
Allow yourself a day like today where you sob in the shower & feel shit because you are dealing with shit at the moment.
Tomorrow will be another day again & no doubt you will find that positive frame of mind again.
One day at a time! xxx

mummylin Sun 08-Sep-13 12:20:39

Tunnocks, it's hardly surprising you are feeling so down. You have had a massive roller coaster of emotions the last few weeks. And you are afraid that your future is going to be snatched away from you.but don't give up hope, your dh is doing incredibly well to come home so soon after such a big op. try not to lose sight of that word HOPE.You are understandably scared for your dh Yourself and your children. Who wouldn't be in your situation.On Tuesday you will have a better view of the situation and we are all hoping for the very best outcome for you all. Don't write off baby no 3 just yet !

tunnocksteacake Sun 08-Sep-13 14:32:22

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BoreOfWhabylon Sun 08-Sep-13 14:44:08

Mr Teacake Stop trying to pick the staples out of your head or we shall tell Tunnocks to staple your fingers together! (yes, we think you are lovely and so is your DW)

The school sounds absolutely wonderful Tunnocks, and so does cocoa and marshmallows.

Mogz Sun 08-Sep-13 16:36:49

Mr Teacakes keep your mitts away from your head, you've been ver brave so don't spoil it by being silly!
Your DS's school sounds amazing, lucky kid smile

tunnocksteacake Sun 08-Sep-13 17:48:16

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

mummylin Sun 08-Sep-13 18:20:15

Well you can tell your dh that I think he has faced this with extreme courage and I wish him well, but not to pick any more staples out of his head !

LEMisdisappointed Sun 08-Sep-13 19:10:54

no one gets one of those certificates tunnocks! But things certainly look a lot brighter than they did this time last week! Saying that, id be just the same as you - well no, i'd have fallen apart and like you say - you haven't, you have held it together for your DH and for your children. I would be very surprised if you don't struggle for a while - it will take you time and you must look after yourself! Hot chocolate with marshmallows sounds yum

AmpullaOfVater Sun 08-Sep-13 20:10:09

Picking staples out of his head?! shock

Your dinner sounds lovely. For me anyway, this kind of food is a huge comfort when I'm feeling below par and even if you're not in the mood it your DH and DCs will be feeling the love of eating delicious food together as a family.

Sounds like you're doing completely brilliantly. Crying in the shower and fearing the future is so normal. But you're also making crumble in the face of adversity - that's bravery.

Love to you all.

(formerly FondantNancy)

tunnocksteacake Sun 08-Sep-13 20:27:43

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Tell your DH if he picks more staples out, what's left of his brain may fall out and then where would you be shockgrin.

Re gruel dinners: you are trying to appease the Gods by making sacrifices. I am not convinced that any Higher Power is in the least bit interested what you eat, so you might as well eat well.
Mmmh, blackberry crumble, sounds amazing.

My schoolstarter this year is 5 1/2 (Scotland) and he is too wee for school, surely?! Schoolphotos tomorrow here...

So nice to hear that your have your family around you. Nothing like a toddler prancing around to stop you from feeling too glum.

Hope you have a good night x.

Your reaction to your lovely dinner is very interesting. For lots of people food is a comfort. By making something nice we control and soothe ourselves (i'm big on that grin) That doesn't seem to be how you work though. For you nice food is a reward, a sign that things are going well?

You know we are all willing you on and praying for you. I know Tuesday is scary but it has to be done, just like last week had to be done. Regarding a third child and everything else - don't meet trouble half way.
If you feel inclined have a look at Psalm 18. I've read it a few times thinking of you and dh and your situation now. You are never alone.

Almostfifty Sun 08-Sep-13 21:45:49

Tell him that they're meant to be there for ten days and otherwise he'll end up with huge holes in his head!

Glad things are looking up.

tunnocksteacake Sun 08-Sep-13 22:18:02

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Calpol (just because), wrap in duvet and cuddle in front of dvd you can bear to watch too - Tangled or Monsters Inc or similar NOT Ben and Flipping Holly. She'll fall asleep and can be trasferred still wrapped in duvet which will replicate the cuddle....

tunnocksteacake Sun 08-Sep-13 23:09:10

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Mogz Mon 09-Sep-13 10:21:12

Hope you got a good night's sleep.

tunnocksteacake Mon 09-Sep-13 10:56:44

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Well done for getting behind the wheel grin Don't take any nonsense from the hospital. Just say calmly that you need to discuss the situation tomorrow and you and dh will be arriving there to do so.

tunnocksteacake Mon 09-Sep-13 11:10:57

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Sending positive vibes you way flowers

tunnocksteacake Mon 09-Sep-13 13:22:25

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Well done for having successful refresher lesson.

I hope the professional staple removing is in progress as I type and going well.

Yy re phone campaign: be persistent, but polite - creaky gate an'all that. One thing the secretary may need to confirm before giving you a time for tomorrow's meeting is whether the histology of your DH's biopsy is actually available. And that would be up to the lab, not her. Or your DH's consultant IYKWIM.
Good luck!

Hopefully you've heard something more but if not call and repeat calmly that you and dh will be attending the hospital tomorrow to discuss the next steps. I'm sure the surgeon will be as keen as you are to discuss the next step and if somebody's backside needs kicking re getting the results then he's the person to do it.

x posted with Pacific

AmpullaOfVater Mon 09-Sep-13 13:55:19

Kick up a (polite) fuss until they give you a time. Good luck.

We seem to be doing that rather a lot, Northern smile.
Great minds an'all that.

wickeddevil Mon 09-Sep-13 14:45:11

Hi Tunnocks,

Hope DH looks less like he has a zip on his head now and isn't too sore..

I would echo those suggesting that you be persistent with your Consultant's secretary, but often in situlations such as your DH the results are discussed with a multi-disciplinary team of specialists. Sometimes this means having to wait longer than you expected for information. Not sure if this is the case or not for you but if there is a delay in receiving news, well don't read anything in to it.

tunnocksteacake Mon 09-Sep-13 16:27:50

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tunnocksteacake Mon 09-Sep-13 16:30:18

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tunnocksteacake Mon 09-Sep-13 16:37:20

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tunnocksteacake Mon 09-Sep-13 16:39:58

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Well making phone calls and thinking you might not get the appointment is stressful - tears are a reasonable response to that. Glad you've got the dates now.

Your dh sounds such a sweetie smile Just keep going together smile

Almostfifty Mon 09-Sep-13 16:44:28

Lovey, you passed out with the shock. You already know what you could be up against and you won't do it again.

You will go and you'll be fine. Fingers crossed for the best possible news.

tunnocksteacake Mon 09-Sep-13 16:45:28

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

tunnocksteacake Mon 09-Sep-13 16:46:31

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Piffpaffpoff Mon 09-Sep-13 16:49:11

Or, he's recovering so well they can start any chemo faster than they thought.

My (albeit second-hand) experience is that new meetings get tossed in all the time and are not necessarily bad news. But that's ey for me o sy, I'm not the one being faced with it all.

You're both doing brilliantly. Keep doing that. X

Almostfifty Mon 09-Sep-13 16:51:05

Exactly Piff. I bet it's to get the treatment plan underway. Keep your chin up.

Mogz Mon 09-Sep-13 16:51:20

My gosh Tunnocks my dear, your DH has a wife who is just as tough as he is, you're doing such a hard job of having to keep everything ticking along you are allowed to have times when you break down, freak out and feel very lost, if you didn't do those things it wouldn't be very healthy.
Sometimes it is very much easier to deal with something terrible happening to you than it is to cope with it happening to someone you love.
Just keep trucking onwards one day at a time, keep doing your driving practice, keep loving and hugging your darling kids, and keep it very clear in your head that there are so very many people you can turn to for a bit of support.
Best of luck for your meeting tomorrow.

I am sure your DH has exactly the wife he wants to be with.

You don't want to go to these meeting - but go you will.
You don't want to be doing all this crying - but you cry and then you get on with things. That's strength.

You like so many people who are forced to deal with crap situations give themselves so little credit for what absolute stars they are.

You can only be brave when you feel fear.
And you can only be strong when the going in rough.
Love is easy when life is going swimmingly - you are there, by his side, in the midst of all this crap. That is love.

On a much smaller scale, I had some problems when I was expecting DS2. DH only told me years later that he seriously thought he might lose me and the baby and how hard the whole situation was for him. I otoh was so busy to just get on with things (and yes, I worried about DS2 as well) and I knew that I was ok that I never stopped to consider how hard the whole thing was for him.

The point I am trying to make, being the support team is not easy, not at all. Of course you'd not want to swap with your DH but being left to worry and support and fret about the future is very hard in many and varied ways.

I am glad you got confirmation of a meeting tomorrow though. MDTs (multidisciplinary meetings) have improved management of malignant disease a lot I think, but the waiting until all ducks are lined up is so hard.

Sometimes it is very much easier to deal with something terrible happening to you than it is to cope with it happening to someone you love

Mogz said it so much more succinctly than me...

tunnocksteacake Mon 09-Sep-13 17:38:43

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

tunnocksteacake Mon 09-Sep-13 17:40:10

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'Tis easy to be wise from a distance...

I shudder to think how he cheered you up grin

Mogz Mon 09-Sep-13 17:57:11

Och, no gory details thanks! But I'm glad you're cheery smile

tunnocksteacake Mon 09-Sep-13 18:05:47

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Yes you can keep those 'cheering up technique' details to yourself shock grin

greenhill Mon 09-Sep-13 18:26:29

shock and a wink will suffice for details of cheering method grin.

Your DH must be feeling a lot better smile

mineofuselessinformation Mon 09-Sep-13 18:37:23

Tunnocks, I'm glad your DH cheered you up and I really don't want to know how grin. Do you think it might be a good idea for your gp to prescribe something to help keep you calm at the appointments? I have huge sympathy for you worrying about how you will be this time. (I had to leave a biopsy that my dd was having as I felt so ill and knew I would faint if I stayed - and felt dreadful that I left.) My dd had Valium for her second biopsy as the first had failed and it made both of us calmer. smile

scarecrow22 Mon 09-Sep-13 19:10:40

here for you tonight and tomorrow when we can.

Your dh sounds in rude health wink

PastaBeeandCheese Mon 09-Sep-13 19:20:04

Hey! Well done on your driving. That's a great achievement.

Tunnocks - I have only posted on here once, generally I lurk! Having never been in your position, I can't imagine how you are feeling about tomorrow. However, I do wish you would stop being SO hard on yourself!!

You have a young family, a DH who you clearly adore (and he you!) and only weeks ago had your life turned upside down in the most devastating way.

Please, please, try not to think the worst for the meetings tomorrow. I know its easy for me to say but just think how successful the operation was. Your DH is clearly doing very well (both in cheering you up! wink ) and physically.

I married very young and moved overseas and use to be terrified of something terrible happening to my beloved DH and how would I cope. Well, nothing happened to him ..... apart from him deciding to leave me 9 years ago, with 2 very young children, having had an affair. I fell apart, was convinced I couldn't go on .... but I did and I'm not a strong person by any means.

I know that the above isn't particularly relevant to your situation, but my point being is in awful situations, there are only two ways to go, cope and keep going, or go under. You are definitely coping!! thanks

Phew, don't think I've ever posted such a long message! grin

Will be thinking of you and your DH tomorrow x

NationMcKinley Mon 09-Sep-13 19:32:03

Tunnocks you're amazing (you bloody are). I shall be thinking of you all tomorrow. Your DH sounds hilarious! Unmumsnetty hugs to you both plus winecake xx

FutTheShuckUp Mon 09-Sep-13 19:33:37

I've got everything crossed for you. Of course you are worried about tomorrow, it's when you hear the cold hard facts. But please don't automatically assume its going to be the worst. And please remember at this stage everything is all based on statistics and previous cases. Your DH is an individual and things can go all ways including up!

tunnocksteacake Mon 09-Sep-13 19:51:16

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tunnocksteacake Mon 09-Sep-13 19:52:56

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Paddlinglikehell Mon 09-Sep-13 19:53:19

Best of luck tomorrow Mr and Mrs Tunnocks..

Tunnocks, it may not feel like it right now, but you are pretty amazing. I hope you get chance to read your threads back in a few weeks, when you will all be in a better place, and see for yourself.

Mr Tunnocks shock.

Oh and I keep trying to think of a joke.....what do you call a man with a staple in his head?.........but can't think of one!!!!! <hopeless>

Conina Mon 09-Sep-13 19:53:29

Tunnocks - just popping in to see how you all are doing.

Glad mr Tunnocks is doing so well - will be thinking of you tomorrow x

That's what happens when you're not a comfort eater. Tsk grin

<<Disclaimer - anybody wanting to lose weight LOOK AWAY NOW>>

Ok - you need to maximise your calories in the things that you can bear to eat. Shove butter and cream in to anything you fancy, If you have some tomato soup, have it with a swirl of cream. Do you like to pick at svoury nibbles? Try and keep some in the house. If there's a Waitrose near you have a look down the deli aisle - loads of nice stuff there.
Maybe buy some ready made pasty and make some very small jam tarts - use a petit fours tin - then you can shove one of those in without thinking about it. Do you like curry? Make your own kprma with coconut cream and extra cream and naan AND rice. Oh and fry your own poppadoms.

tunnocksteacake Mon 09-Sep-13 19:58:58

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tunnocksteacake Mon 09-Sep-13 20:02:34

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tunnocks you are NOT rude

But your DH might well be wink

MissStrawberry Mon 09-Sep-13 20:14:30

I haven't posted but I have thought of you and MrTunnocks and I hope the meeting goes well.

grin at rude health!

HunterWellies Mon 09-Sep-13 21:05:59

Good luck tomorrow Tunnocks, will be thinking of you. xx

IwishIwasmoreorganised Mon 09-Sep-13 21:10:39

Hope that tomorrow gives you some concrete answers.

Glad that mr T has been cheering you up wink

Calorie dense foods
Scroll down a bit for a more appetising list of little snacks.
Whether you like it or not, your body and mind require fuel.

Will be thinking of you tomorrow x.

tunnocksteacake Mon 09-Sep-13 21:26:11

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Mogz Mon 09-Sep-13 21:37:58

You can keep going, you've come so far. May tomorrow bring good news and lift a little of the weight from your shoulders.

Op - when you've done tomorrow - whatever is said - you've done it. You never have to live that day again. You move on to the next and the next. You only have to do 2pm tomorrow once.

You'll have to find a way to come to terms with this lack of control for a while sad


scarecrow22 Mon 09-Sep-13 22:02:59

Sorry, you can't prepare exactly. Except that you are going in with love and courage (you have it, we can all see that), and a will to win. Which makes you better prepared than most.

Remember the practical stuff from last time: list it if it helps. Like pen and paper, maybe initial questions, diary, change for car park, and so on.

Think of eating as a key part of your contribution to DH's recovery: like taking nasty medicine, a necessary evil if you like. This is the sort of thing you can plan: think of three people who have offered to help: email or ring and say 'thanks for the offer.0, yes please, can you cook/bake for me...' And possibly specify the types of food most likely to tempt you, and small easily cooked/heated portions.

Will check in at night feed.

mummylin Mon 09-Sep-13 22:09:31

Tunnocks , you can do this. You have been amazing and if I were ill I would want you in my corner. You have been such a massive support to your DH and that must help such a lot in his recovery. I wish you all the best in the world for tomorrow and hope you get the news that you long for.

Piffpaffpoff Mon 09-Sep-13 22:24:58

I'm not one for cheesy motivational statements out of self help books but one given to me by a counsellor during a period when I was really struggling with anxiety was, and continues to be, a help during worrying times. "Whatever happens, I'll handle it". And you will - together.

Best of luck for tomorrow.

tunnocksteacake Mon 09-Sep-13 22:26:19

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ExitPursuedByADragon Mon 09-Sep-13 22:28:43

Just keep holding him.

He is lucky to have you, and you him. Really lucky, both of you.

mummylin Mon 09-Sep-13 22:37:47

You are more than enough for him Tunnocks . You are the inspiration to help him fight this bastard illness. You are the other half of him. Together you can do this

You are lucky to have each other! thanks

ots Mon 09-Sep-13 22:46:40

I've been thinking of you and your family since I read your first post, particularly on big days, such as your DH's op last week. There's not much I can add that hasn't already been said by these lovely ladies (MN really rocks at times like this doesn't it). I'll be thinking of you again tomorrow and am keeping everything crossed that it's good news x x x

AintNobodyGotTimeFurThat Mon 09-Sep-13 23:14:17

Thinking of you for tomorrow teacake.

I am hoping it's the best news they can possibly give.


AmpullaOfVater Tue 10-Sep-13 00:02:20

Best, best, best of luck for tomorrow. Am willing the news to be good.

Tunnocks just remember

'Two are better than one,
because they have a good return for their labor:
If either of them falls down,
one can help the other up.
But pity anyone who falls
and has no one to help them up.
Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm.
But how can one keep warm alone?
Though one may be overpowered,
two can defend themselves.
A cord of three strands is not quickly broken'

That's what you offer and it is enough.

PastaBeeandCheese Tue 10-Sep-13 06:24:13

Good luck today.

greenhill Tue 10-Sep-13 06:44:06

Good luck x

sybilfaulty Tue 10-Sep-13 06:48:34

Thinking of you today Tunnocks. You have done amazingly over the last few weeks. I know you will find strength to get through today. God bless.

NationMcKinley Tue 10-Sep-13 06:49:42

Good luck today! I'll be thinking of you both xx