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***Tamoxigang - thread number 40!***

(993 Posts)

Hello all! New thread <twirls> as we have almost filled the last one. Help yourself to chocolate chip muffins from the trolley! smile

malteserzz Fri 26-Jul-13 22:12:10

Well done ruby how are you ?

Good thanks malt sorry I cross posted with you on old thread! How are you doing?

I had my colour analysis today so will post a bit more later as I think kitkat was interested in having it done.

Hair loss wise I was very lucky. Head hair thinned and is growing back darker and redder which I like, legs thinned so less shaving needed, down there, eyebrows and eyelashes all thinned a bit. Eyelashes was worst as they kept falling in my eyes! But nothing completely went. Hopefully if you do lose your eyelashes and eyebrows they will show you make up techniques at your Look Good Feel Better day smile

Weirdly chemo made my hands a bit hairier, not man-hairy but weird blonde hairs where there were none noticeable before confused

Gigondas Fri 26-Jul-13 22:18:46

Marking spot -thanks for new thread. Colours sound interesting ruby.

Perving topsy over someone outside the Tom jones gang?

kitkat1967 Fri 26-Jul-13 22:20:45

hi RubY glad you are feeling much better now. Yes please tell me all about your colour analysis when you get the time.

I have to go to a concert tomorrow night (DD) so am thinking of wearing my wig as I love it so much and although I still have my hair it is flat and grubby - wil be the first time I have tried it on since buying it!!

notJenkins Fri 26-Jul-13 22:23:02

Just thread mar

I'm not sure if it's all a load of gobbledigook as I wasn't always sure when she did the comparisons on the others (she put one scarf thing on then another from a different "season" to show which looks best) but I could definitely see that my skin looked better in some colours, and they were ones I like too so that's good! I'm an autumn smile

kitkat if it was you who was thinking of going, apologies if not blush I would recommend it but think it'd be more fun with a friend, it was a nice day though and all very positive about focusing on your best features and enhancing them

I'm going to settle down now as very owchy so goodnight all, hope everyone sleeps well smile

Cross posted kitkat definitely wear the wig if you fancy it smile

BetsyBoop Fri 26-Jul-13 22:41:50

Just marking my spot before I head to bed. Night night, sleep right smile

Lilymaid Fri 26-Jul-13 22:50:56

Also marking spot and thinking of colour analysis and new wardrobe post treatment!

malteserzz Fri 26-Jul-13 22:54:13

Sounds really interesting ruby smile
Glad you had a nice day
I'm ok thanks touch wood
Off to bed too night all x x

malteserzz Fri 26-Jul-13 22:55:08

Meant to say Kitkat wear the wig it might make it less scary if you do need it later ( hope not ) if you've already worn it with hair

amberlight Fri 26-Jul-13 23:23:35

Ha, new thread. Excellent.

topsyturner Fri 26-Jul-13 23:45:06

<bobs in to cock a leg on new thread>

Sorry Gigs if I seemed unfaithful to Sir Tom , but it was Usain Bolt , in Lycra !!!!!

malteserzz Sat 27-Jul-13 04:11:49

Been awake since 3 is this the steroids or just that I am a crap sleeper anyway ?!
It's hot have opened a window and going to read for a bit

Gigondas Sat 27-Jul-13 07:02:23

Sounds like steroids malt. Have a brew.

You are allowed to perv usain - he is allegedly training round here for next few weeks...

Off to stay with friends today - they have nice big garden and 4 kids to entertain the minis. Still feeling achey (can feel sore shoulder still post physio) so won't be doing much on visit.

What's everyone else doing?

notJenkins Sat 27-Jul-13 07:08:15

I am lying in bed in the van in the middle of nowhere in deepest Somerset but this field has great 3G !

off to do the caves at Wookey today. Bringing a friend and her dd has meant my 2 are not arguing and we are all having a lovely time. Can't type on my phone well so will say goodbye until I get home.

malteserzz Sat 27-Jul-13 07:21:07

Had a couple of hours sleep just had 2 ginger biscuits and steroids still feel ok
Gigs have a lovely time hope its not too far a journey for you and you can just put your feet up there while the girls play and bite !
NJ enjoy your day smile

Gigondas Sat 27-Jul-13 07:40:51

Oh dear -mini gig has cleaned toy badger with the toilet brush... Lucky we have a spare

Well done ruby - we're coming home today, so should resume normal services... Will be v sorry to leave as I love it here. Also will be going to MILs next w/end which am not hugely looking forward to.
Love to all- must shower and pack up xxx

Lots of cute toy badgers in Minsmere RSPB shop- thought of the mini gig s

Gigondas Sat 27-Jul-13 08:10:50

We are already outnumbered by badgers - I fear for any more in the house . Have a good trip home mas and enjoy the caves Nj. You just resting up today malt or are kids back?

kitkat1967 Sat 27-Jul-13 08:21:57

I think that'll be the steriods Malt - you just have to go with it I'm afraid. I've learnt that I'll be up for about 2 hrs but then can go back to sleep for a while.

DH and I have v long drive to retrieve DD from music course today - 3.5hrs each way (if no traffic issues) plus we have to sit through a concert. Fortunately my mum is having DS for the day.

Still planning to try out the wig today - will report back on how that goes.

malteserzz Sat 27-Jul-13 08:22:42

Safe journey home Mas
Kids are back they've got swimming lessons this morning and dh taking ds to a football match this pm, I will just chill with dd. Bit nervous about dh going out but life goes on

malteserzz Sat 27-Jul-13 08:24:40

X post Kitkat
Thanks for advice re the steroids
Gosh that is a long journey hope traffic is ok and concert goes well smile

BetsyBoop Sat 27-Jul-13 08:44:13

morning all

malt definitely sounds like steroid insomnia, just go with the flow smile

safe journey back MAS

enjoy the caves notj

gigs that sounds fun, hope you aren't too ouchy

ruby how are you doing ? I hope you are getting less ouchy too

still no news from EMIN ?

kitkat hope the wig-wearing goes well. I still haven't bothered to get one yet and tbh in this hot weather I'm sure it would personally drive me mad grin

<waves hello> to everyone else

topsyturner Sat 27-Jul-13 10:28:15

Morning All (yaaaaaawn)

Just sitting in my pants , in my living room , enjoying the peace and quiet before the DC get up .

Only thing on my agenda today is a supermarket run I think .

I need some new meal ideas .
Ones that I can make for the entire family .
Can you all list your family meals that your DC love please ?

PictureThis Sat 27-Jul-13 10:44:21

Malt I'm on day 12 of 1st chemo cycle and haven't suffered with any sickness either, in fact I've felt surprisingly ok, just tired, akin to early pregnancy tiredness but nothing I can't cope with. I'm not sure if I'll be fortunate enough to feel this well for all of the next 5 cycles but I hope so. I met a lady at the Look Good Feel Better evening and she told me her sickness started the evening of her chemo and didn't stop for 3 days. Once it got to bedtime that first night and I still felt ok I thought I'd be alright. I made sure that I drank at least 2 litres of water daily too.

malteserzz Sat 27-Jul-13 11:11:40

Morning Betsy smile
Topsy I get really bored with cooking the same stuff especially as ds is fussy about a lot of things. Meals which go down well here are fajitas, enchiladas,lasagne, make your own pizzas not very exciting though. I saw a programme this morning where they did gammon and thought I might try that sometime we've not had that for a while
Picture glad you are feeling well too that's reassuring to hear. I'm going to go out for a little walk today that might help with the tiredness. Was the look good feel better session good I'm booked on one in September

gigs grin at badger "cleaning" I hope he's washable! Enjoy your stay with friends, hope you get to relax and get less achey

MAS safe journey home, sounds like you've had a lovely time smile

malt almost certainly steroids as I sleep well in between loo breaks but had a few sleepless nights when on the steroids. Enjoy your relaxing afternoon with DD. I'm sure you'll be fine while DH is out smile can he get home quickly if you need him?

notJ sounds lovely, enjoy the caves and I hope the no fighting continues!

kitkat fingers crossed for traffic being good, and safe journey, good luck with wig and hope the concert goes well smile

betsy thank you, am a little less owchy as sitting on a cool gel pack thingy!! How are you?

topsy any excuse to be in your pants eh?! grin we're veggie so probably not much help on the meal front! Have fun at the supermarket smile

picture good news, I hope you continue to feel well smile

Love to EMIN, kurri, ned, amber, copt, raisin and all the people I've probably missed!

PictureThis Sat 27-Jul-13 11:41:32

It was very enjoyable, you get some great freebies and is a bit of fun. My goody bag was packed with makeup from Chanel, Lancôme, Benefit, Bare Minerals, Clinique, Clarins and more, a real treat.

Topsy this week we've had roast chicken stuffed with garlic and herb creme fraiche, chicken and ham pie (usung leftover chicken) with filo top, spag bol, homemade burgers and wedges, roast gammon and parsley sauce. I've just bought Fay Ripley's family food book for more inspiration as I'm sick of cooking the same things too.

Copthallresident Sat 27-Jul-13 12:45:32

Have found Ruby glad to hear you sounding better. Do you think you have turned the corner to getting better?

Big and Little Copt would have Spag Bol 24/7 and Big Copt has turned out a total carnivore unless it is Asian so coming up with meals when all home is a real bore for me too (only downside of getting her home, that and lying awake at 5 am either worrying where she is or having to smell of whatever she and her friends are eating to satisfy their post drinking attack of the munchies). She is back at her flat though sad so tonight we are having baby squid cooked in a sauce of fennel seeds, garlic, tomato, peppers, dried chilli, orange zest, red wine and marjoram, all mopped up with Reubens ciabattia.

I can also offer up alternative ways with mince as a change from Spag Bog and Chilli Con Carne. Cuban Hash: mince with onions, garlic, tomatoes, chopped apple, pimento stuffed green olives, raisins, chilli, green peppers, cinnamon, cloves, red wine vinegar and topped with roasted almonds, sounds mad but tastes nice. Thai stir fried minced pork with basil: Pork mince, shallots, ginger, chilli, fish sauce, soy sauce and handfuls of Basil (preferably Thai holy basil, but ordinary does a good job)

Everyone I cook it for raves about Fuchsia Dunlop's Gung Po Chicken as well (sweet and sour but not at all like the gloop you get in Chinese restaurants)

Hope that helps?

Sad your holiday is over MAS I have been enjoying your photos, such a lovely part of the UK, looking forward to njs of Wookie Hole. I really can't take that seriously as the name of a place, it's like Middle Wallop, we used to grade men on that at uni from best, Upper Wallop through middle and lower to Why Bother? .

Off out Usain Bolt hunting with goon dog, he'll bring him down with a leap to the crotch, is he at St Mary's gigs or staying with the Kenyans in Hampton? Goon dog lurves running with the Kenyans in Bushy Park.

jchocchip Sat 27-Jul-13 13:21:18

Marking place! Hopped my 50th parkrun today <preens>. Off for a swim now. smile at this field has great 3g!

malteserzz Sat 27-Jul-13 14:56:50

All alone here even dd has gone out with friends, feel ok just tired had a nap earlier
Jchoc well done for your run
Picture I'm looking forward to the LGFB it sounds great, don't wear much make up now but might have to start making more of an effort
Copt your dinner sounds lovely, spag Bol is a favourite here too and when I'm really lazy they just like pasta with tomato purée and cheese stirred through!

NedSchneebly Sat 27-Jul-13 18:11:12

I'm coming, wait for meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!! <dashes in and removes rain hood and galoshes>

Pissing down here. Luckily managed to get my washing off the line before it started.

DH taking me out to new-ish Thai restaurant this evening. It will be a year on Tuesday since I finished my treatment, and we thought we ought to mark it somehow. Not sure why really, but seemed as good an excuse as any for a night out smile

Hope everyone is doing ok today, especially those in the throes of treatment. Thinking of you all x x x

jchoc well done on 50th run - is your injury healing? Hope you enjoyed your swim.

Yay for a year since treatment ned fab excuse for a celebration, enjoy your evening!

malt hope you are feeling rested after your nap smile

There's a sort of festival going on in the park across the road, the music is a bit questionable but lots of stalls and we got stone baked pizzas for dinner, yum yum. I'm just waiting to feel hungry now so I can eat some grin

malteserzz Sat 27-Jul-13 19:18:36

Ned that seems a great reason to celebrate to me hope you enjoy your meal
Ruby pizzas sound good hope you're getting hungry! Nap did me good I think only had half an hour but needed it
Just poured down here was nice to freshen everything up even if I did have to run out and get the washing in !
Hope everyone has a good evening x

trice Sat 27-Jul-13 19:41:00

Copt, I love the idea of that sweet and sour chicken but the ingredient list is far too long. I am a lazy cook. Although I did make rick steins rogan josh the other day which I can recommend.

Feeling a bit tired today and suffering from chemo bum.So undignified. Arse.

Got my scan appointment for the 7th. Which is probably why I am suddenly feeling ill again. Treatment would be so much easier if there was no contact with the medical profession.

kitkat1967 Sat 27-Jul-13 20:58:58

phew - back home. Slow drive up but good run back. I took my wig off in the car on the way as I had a headache but have worn it for the concert and the way back and it has been fine. No-one looked at me oddly and DD said she liked my hair like that. DS was very sweet this morning when I woke him to say goodbye he 'oh, you have done your hair today mummy'. When I said it was the wig he stroked and said it felt like real hair so no traumatised children here.

Glad everyone seems well today - everyone's SE seem to be improving at the moment.

NonnaMai Sat 27-Jul-13 22:09:53

waves shyly.

I've been sent here by some other lovely posters. I got diagnosed with cervical cancer 10 days ago. That's all I know, I've got an appointment on Wednesday to discuss at what stage the cancer is and where I go from here.

I am a wreck at the moment, I'm convinced I'm going to die and I hate myself for not being able to be more positive. I'm putting on a good show for my dc though.

How on earth are you amazing ladies all so positive I could do with some tips.

malteserzz Sat 27-Jul-13 22:32:29

Momma sorry you've had to join us but you are very welcome smile
The bit you're going through at the moment is the worst bit honestly because you don't know what you're dealing with and what the treatment is, everyone told me that I didn't believe it but it's true
We're not always positive I still shed plenty of tears but mainly you just have to get on with it with help from family and friends and the ladies on here
Try not to google ! Keep posting x

malteserzz Sat 27-Jul-13 22:33:04

Bloody autocorrect changed your name im sorry !

topsyturner Sat 27-Jul-13 23:00:40

Hi Nonna and welcome !

Like Malt just said , this is the hardest part .
Once you have your full diagnosis and treatment plan it feels a lot easier

For now , just be kind to yourself . If you want to cry or scream , just do it !

Any questions , feel free to ask .
There are no off limit topics here smile

trice Sat 27-Jul-13 23:21:28

Hi Nonna, sorry to hear what you are going through. Hearing the cancer diagnosis from your doctor is an absolute nightmare scenario. My only advice at this time is to distract yourself as much as possible and just try to get through one day at a time. And never ever Google!

jchocchip Sat 27-Jul-13 23:46:26

Hi nonna. What malt and topsy and trice said. Waiting for results is the time you think the worst and too many what ifs? Once you get a treatment plan you will be dealing with a known scenario. I guess you had a biopsy? Eat plenty of chocolate/ drink plenty of wine - its medicinal. <not a doctor disclaimer>

Copthallresident Sun 28-Jul-13 06:40:53

Hi Nonna

I had Cervical Cancer in situ 26 years ago, as well as a rather more nasty BC 12 years ago, there are lots of treatments available even if it is invasive.

As everyone else has said it is the uncertainty that is worse, perfectly normal to struggle to stop your brain conjuring up scary scenarios.

And you won't find fans of the cult of positivity on here. There is no research that shows a positive attitude improves your chances, that is down to treatments. On top of coping with Cancer you really shouldn't have to cope with everyone expecting you to be positive. So if you want to cry, stick your head in the sand or whatever else helps you cope, do so. And if you want to use here to vent you fears, negative thoughts etc. go ahead. We all have those thoughts, even years after dx, so we have a paranoia box to put them into, and some of us have ample bottoms to plonk on the lid and keep them where they belong.

malteserzz Sun 28-Jul-13 07:48:07

Copt didn't know you'd have cervical cancer too bless you
Nonna hope you got a bit of sleep ?
I was up from 4 till 530 ish

We had loads of rain and a storm last night hoping it will be a bit cooler today, I can hear the wind from my bed. Must venture for a walk today, didn't make it yesterday as everyone went out and I didn't fancy it on my own not sure what I'm frightened of, collapsing I think or suddenly feeling ill is that daft ? Can't stop in for 18 weeks can I !

Copthallresident Sun 28-Jul-13 08:15:01

malt it was just in situ, it is incredibly common to get changes in the cells on your cervix, and very easily treated, usually with lasers. I was a bit unlucky in that it was up inside my cervix and so I did have to have an Op, a cone biopsy. I have two other close friends who had laser treatment to remove Cancer in situ.

However it is like Breast Cancer a hormonal Cancer and apparently having one puts you at risk of others so it was another warning sign I missed (along with them finding sky high Estrogen levels when I had investigations into infertility) sad Estrogen has definitely not been my friend........

waves to picture and welcome to nonna -am so sorry that you're facing this horrid diagnosis - the unknown is always scarier than once you know what you're dealing with though. Stick with us and we'll help you through the next bits.
Am home and sad to not be in lovely Suffolk but so happy to see my house and dear cat and mum and dad who were minding things for us.
I like the idea of bag of lovely freebies at this Look Good thing- do you think I could go to one ? even if I still have hair ?

BetsyBoop Sun 28-Jul-13 09:12:57

Welcome Nonna but sorry you find yourself here - I think everyone else has already said everything I would say. smile

<waves good morning> to everyone else.

Crap night's sleep last night, no idea why as I was really tired...Awake from 2am-5:30am...slow day today I think...

malteserzz Sun 28-Jul-13 09:36:46

Betsy hope you get some rest today
Mas they told me it was for anyone going through cancer at any stage, doesn't matter about hair, no hair whatever
I've got a leaflet let me know if you need a phone number for it

kitkat1967 Sun 28-Jul-13 10:55:48

MAS - I'm going to ring up and see if i can get a place on my local Look Good thing. Had a look on the website and at my local hospital they run once a month and you have to book. So I figure if I ring this week I'm probably looking at September which would suit me as the kids will be back at school and I'll be scratching around for things to do. I lurvveee free make up smile.

KurriKurri Sun 28-Jul-13 10:57:55

Hi all - hope everyone is having a good weekend.

Ruby - well done on sparkly new thread grin - I'm glad the amytrip. is helping a bit, and hope you are a lot more comfortable.

malt - how are things, - it's good you have a voided any major sickness - that's great, I agree with others if you're going to get it in a big way, it usually manifests itself fairly quickly. And it sounds as if they've given you plenty of supplies just in case smile - i used to find that I got waves of nausea rather than actual sickness - and was told to make sure I take the anti sickness meds in anticipation, rather than waiting until I felt yukky. Well done for getting the first one under your belt.

Woo hoo lovely ned - hooray on reaching the year past treatment mark, - have a great meal and enjoy yourself. smile

MAS - welcome home, and definitely go to a look good feel better session - you don't have to have hair! grin My goody bag had stuff like clinique and Elizabeth Arden in it - not to be sneezed at, - I had to fight to stop DD pinching it all! grin

Hello Nonna, and welcome to the thread, although of course I am very sorry you find yourself here. You will be feeling very shocked and shaky atm. - it is very early days, once you have spoken to your doctor, and know it little bit more about you diagnosis, and your treatment plan, you might find you can get your head around it all a bit more.

Remember, cancer patients are treated for all the effects of cancer, not just the physical ones, so if you think you need any help sleeping or with anxiety, talk to your doctor about it and s/he will help.

At the start it is all a bit information overload, people telling you stuff, giving you leaflets about everything, and its hard to focus and take things in.
It does calm down a little bit honestly, so you can feel a little bit more in control. Be very gentle with yourself, and hopefully we can offer a bit of support as well and answer any questions you might have (or at least direct you to the right person at the hospital to answer them)
I don't know if you have a specialist nurse at your hospital for cervical cancer patients, - if you do, they can often be a great source of support and talk you through everything.

Waving to everyone - grin at mini Gig and the badger!

malteserzz Sun 28-Jul-13 12:26:24

I got into mine easily Kitkat could have got in for August but already had an appointment on the same day
Thanks Kurri still feeling ok here, last day of steroids so hoping for a bit better sleep soon
Hope everyone's having a nice day bit fresher and windier here which is nice smile

I might ask 2 of my group whether they'd like to do this ...would be nice to have company...
Waitrose beckons !

kitkat1967 Sun 28-Jul-13 12:43:48

when are you going then Malt?

Can't believe how well you have done. Yes, once you stop the meds you should better. You'll be the onc's star patient at this rate!!

malteserzz Sun 28-Jul-13 13:19:32

3rd September kids will be back at school and ds will be on a pgl week away
I know it's just luck so far though and sure it won't stay like this !
Enjoy waitrose Mas you must keep them in business lol, I've just sent dh to sainsburys with a list

malteserzz Sun 28-Jul-13 13:21:07

Oh and I washed my hair this morning very gingerly ! Hadn't washed it since Wednesday

MAS definitely go for it, I'm on the waiting list for August, I said I'd have finished my chemo and treatment by then but lovely lady said I'd still deserve a bit of pampering smile so seeing as you're having chemo you'll definitely be eligible, it'd be lovely if you can take a friend or two from your group as well.

Nonna welcome but sorry you've had to join us. This is the scariest time, soon you'll have a plan and you'll feel much more prepared to deal with it all. Frankly most of it is rather boring! smile if you have any questions feel free to ask. Absolutely do not google. People only go online usually when things are out of the ordinary and going especially badly, no one bothers to post "I have cancer and my treatment is going to plan", that's why this thread is so good smile

malt after this cycle you'll have a much better idea of how you react to the meds and when you are likely to feel rough so you will feel much more confident about things like going out on your own smile do you have extra anti sickness meds to take if you actually feel sick or do you just take them all routinely? If you have extra ones, take them with you when you go out in case the nausea strikes suddenly smile

trice have you got cream for your chemo bum? Cancer is so unglamorous isn't it! I can recommend Drapolene. It's in the baby section of Boots and also available on prescription. Otherwise a layer of metanium or Bepathen cream with Vaseline over the top can be quite good. Don't use anything too moist, like aloe vera gel or preparation H, or you could end up with a fungal infection <voice of bitter experience>

I slept through the whole night grin no pain, no loo visits, woohoo! That's the second time I've had a full nights sleep since November smile hopefully they'll become more frequent as things settle down. The side effects from the last cycle are really dragging on confusedangry

I hope everyone is having a lovely day, and those who didn't sleep well are getting some rest smile

NonnaMai Sun 28-Jul-13 13:24:43

Thank you everyone. My doctor has already given me pills to aid sleep so I took some at about 1am and slept until nearly lunchtimegrin. At least that's another few hours off my countdown until Wednesday.

Lovely dh has taken most of the dc out so I can do as I please. My biggest worry is my children. Youngest is only 6 and adopted. She has some attachment issues and needs to be with me at all times. She's upstairs now having refused to go out with the others. God knows how she will cope if i need a hospital stay. I don't want any (but especially her) of the DCs to know there is a problem until I can give them answers.

My mother is being I pain. We are very close and she is struggling with this. She is the kind of person who tends to make everything about her. She came round yesterday and started crying, when I told her to stop because the dc were around she wailed " you don't understand what it's like when one of your children is suffering". confused.

Tried not to google but failed, won't be doing that anymore it scared the living daylights out of me.

I hope you all have a lovely peaceful day. The sun is shining here, hope it lasts.

nonna -that's tricky with your mum - obviously very hard for her but not helpful. I think it's best to get all the info first before telling the children then you'll know what the plan is and can reassure etc. Yes, to avoiding Dr Google but easily done- I still do it !

Lilymaid Sun 28-Jul-13 14:20:37

Hi Nonna - sorry to hear that your DM isn't being helpful at present. I can see problem from both sides as DS was fairly recently diagnosed with leukaemia. Easy as a parent to break down but much better to appear strong and supportive, so I hope she can get over this and provide real help fo you.

You thought you could all hide but I found you and am marking my place grin

nonna welcome and really sorry you have to be here. Vent as much as you like, we've all done it and we all still have wobbly days but the girls here are great. You mum sounds a bit like mine. She really didn't cope well with my dx and has aged terribly sad. She did seem to tell everyone she met that her daughter had bc hmm not sure whether it was for sympathy or reassurance.

mas glad you had a swell time and definitely go to LookGood. It was great and at mine there were women at all stages of treatment, some with hair some without.

grin at minigigs and the badger.

Good to see you doing well malt one ticked off the list.

Boys off to adventure camp this evening so peace and quiet for a week. DD and I are going swimming tomorrow. Squishy brownies for the fbs trolley and waving to all.

kitkat1967 Sun 28-Jul-13 16:53:48

really tired today - think all the driving yesterday must have taken it out of me.
Just come back from seeing Monsters University with DH and DS and stayed away all the way through so it must have been good.

I have to say that my mum is being fab - she had BC herself 3 yrs ago (no chemo only rads - told me at the time it wasn't required but has now admitted that it was borderline so I think she chose not to have it) - anyway she is completely matter of fact about it all which is just what I need.

kitkat1967 Sun 28-Jul-13 16:54:56

Just about to cook roast chicken as it's the first time in weeks that it's been cool enough for a roast smile

malteserzz Sun 28-Jul-13 17:22:40

My mums finding it hard too it's the first time the family has experienced cancer so think that makes it more fearful
Just walked up to see mum and dad for a cup of tea and feel good for doing it will do a walk every day when I can
Kitkat not surprised you're tired that was a long day yesterday

notJenkins Sun 28-Jul-13 17:32:45

Hellooo I am back from my road trip and throwing cave aged cheddar and scrumpy cider on the trolley.

Sorry to see you have joined us nonna but you will get a lot of support from the ladies here. I certainly did and do frequently.
Diagnosis is the worst time. I became hermit like and very selfish as I did not want to deal with other people's emotions. I did not see my parents at all which was horrible looking back on it but it was what I needed to do.
Just be selfish and get through it.

We had a lovely trip and I now want to go off again. I love my van.

malteserzz Sun 28-Jul-13 17:32:58

Hi to Gracie nice to see you enjoy your quiet week x

malteserzz Sun 28-Jul-13 17:34:01

Mmm to cider and cheese NJ glad you had a lovely time x

sounds fab nj - love cider, love cheese grin
Am not sure whether it's better or worse having experience of cancer in the family- probably both things are equally irksome. My dad had prostate cancer and my SIL had bc about 7 years ago -both very fit and well now thankfully, but my younger brother died of cancer when he was 10 -I think this makes my dx quite difficult for them, being secondary- first time round they were relatively blase or at least appeared so, but I can sense their anxiety about this.

amberlight Sun 28-Jul-13 19:53:29

Hi Nonna, welcome from me too smile

Your mum is making Mistake One in usefulness. I saw a really handy diagram about 'circles of support'. You have cancer, so you're in the middle. Round you, your closest supporter. Then famly. Then friends. Then acquaintances. Each circle cares for the people closer to the middle....and if they are distressed, only expresses that distress to the people further out of the circle. Care in...fear out. You are not there to counsel your Mum and she needs to understand that.

We're here to walk with you through this lot. If it helps, 95 out of 100 women with early stage go on to be fine, and it's still 8 out of 10 women even with the medium stages now. Very good treatments and genetic tailored stuff available.

Would a visual social story help with your young one with attachment issues? Pictures of you going to hospital, of clocks showing the time you will be in and out, times people can visit, what the ward will look like, etc? It works for me. Might help settle them too. Might not, of course.

'Evening everyone else <waves>

Gigondas Sun 28-Jul-13 20:53:19

Evening all -nice but busy trip away so just dropping in and catching up.

Welcome nonna-amber puts it beautifully about support. Hoe we can do our bit.

Nj sounds great weekend. Hope you had a nice meal ned.

Waves to mas malt kitkat betsy trice picture jchoc kurri topsy Copt and anyone else I missed.

Copt doing her bit to distract me tomorrow over coffee as starting to get anxious about onc appt for scan results on Tuesday sad. Just want a stay of treatment so we can get away on holiday.

amberlight Sun 28-Jul-13 21:07:25

Gigs, keeping everything crossed for you for scan results on Thurs.

kitkat1967 Sun 28-Jul-13 21:15:47

also fingers crossed for your results on Tuesday Gigs

does anyone watch Corrie - and notice how you can get your scan results immediately after the scan in TV world hmm

Gigondas Sun 28-Jul-13 21:29:40

No is that right kitkat? I am big archers fan and found that my bp went up in annoyance in hospital t some plot lines when I was being checked while listening.

trice Sun 28-Jul-13 21:30:41

I have been applying bepanthan to my bum thanks Ruby, It worked well for the dcs, hope it works as well for me. I wouldn't want an infection to set in.

Today I had a most disgusting cupcake. I cannot understand their popularity - I much prefer a fairy cake. That whipped margarine butter icing is vile and I don't want to eat glitter, it's plastic. It is one of those culinary fashions that no one will comprehend in a few years time, like a fanny craddock jello salad. I hope.

kitkat1967 Sun 28-Jul-13 21:37:07

yes Gigs - poor old Hayley went from a blood test to an ultrasound, then a CT scan and all in about 3 days. She went straight from her CT into see the consultant who had the results ready. Interestingly no boring old biopsy required!! (for those who don't watch she has pancreatic cancer).
Would help us all with the waiting game if we could have such speedy diagnosis wink

malteserzz Sun 28-Jul-13 22:10:25

Gigs glad you had a good time smile
Amber lovely post you put it so well
Trice I like cup cakes but they can be sickly
Kitkat don't watch corrie but it does sound unrealistic there is so much waiting in reality
Still feeling fine here watching sun sea and suspicious parents !

smee Sun 28-Jul-13 22:16:34

Sitting in a soggy tent. NotJ send your van to rescue me!! Camping with my mum and dad, though they're in their rather comfy caravan. DH managed to escape so just me and DS and he snores. Am drinking red wine in the hope of oblivion..

How are you all?? Hope not too bad. Good to see you're still feeling ok, Malt and hello to Nonna. Sorry you've found yourself here, but nice to meet you.

Ned, yay on your anniversary. That's a great milestone and celebration essential. smile

Gig if I can't ge back to a signal, will be thinking of you and sending good result vibes on Tuesday.

Did Celeste miss you, MAS? Bet she did.

sorry not to post to all. Will be back soon.. xx

jchocchip Sun 28-Jul-13 22:31:59

Aw soggy tent smee what an adventure! Hope the wine does the trick.
Nighty night everyone. Sorry not up to long posting, need my beauty sleep. Cleaned out the fishtank this evening. Whole new meaning to pebbles and shit...

malteserzz Sun 28-Jul-13 22:33:00

Thinking of you in your soggy tent smee just don't drink so much red wine that you need to go out for a wee !

jchocchip Sun 28-Jul-13 22:33:00

Amber like the circle of cares. I'll try and remember that.

topsyturner Sun 28-Jul-13 22:42:57

Amber you really do have a great way with words .
You manage to say what we are all thinking so eloquently !

Gigs I'm channeling all my positivity for you on Tuesday .
Hopefully you will be able to nip out to Tesco Paris afterwards grin

I have CT on Wednesday . This is the one to check if the enlarged node on last CT has expanded alien style in my chest ...

Think I might have Cancer Of The Butt now though , as a wicked case of the trots has set in gringringrin

Mas has Celeste got off your lap since you came home ?

topsyturner Sun 28-Jul-13 22:44:08

<sends Smee a large vat of wine for putting up with a soggy tent ! I'd be booting the parents out of the caravan personally >

Gigondas Sun 28-Jul-13 22:46:25

So would I topsy. But enjoy smeewink.
Part of my anxiety is I really want to do a tesco trip and can't til got results.

Am in steroid /pre appt insomnia zone which is annoying.

Gigondas Sun 28-Jul-13 22:49:11

Cancer of the arse? You overdone the rose/white as that can upset tummy with acidity.... Just sayin' tipsytopsy

my lovelies- I've included you all in a loving kindness meditation this evening, hope the golden light is touching you !
amber8 is brilliant at explaining things *nonna - listen to her. Loads of golden light to gig for results and for topsy
Brave girl smee camping in a real tent - hope the wine is sufficient anaesthetic.
Celeste did seem to miss us (she is very sociable and likes company)
Am feeding next door very nervous cat who is never seen,except for rushing off in fright. She's afraid of her cat flap so her owner has pinned it open,meaning all neighbouring cats come in and eat her food. This morning I found 2 packs of very well punctured Dreamies scattered about. Poor Poppy.

gig you need to go to Tesco Paris to take reference photos for mini gigs bedroom pictures...

malteserzz Mon 29-Jul-13 04:46:28

Bless you Mas that was kind smile
Awake here last steroids today so hope I sleep better tomorrow night yawn
Betsy hope you're getting a better nights sleep
Been looking at another forum and it was so depressing so glad I found all of you smile

Gigondas Mon 29-Jul-13 07:41:31

brew? Did you sleep at all after waking up? I was fine once I got up but woke up so stiff.

Mini gig being a bit full on as always after weekend of mr gig indulgence. Big gig was bit of an overgrown toddler at weekend so some tough love being called for .

(she can be a nightmare about eating and sleeping then it goes downhill. Was sadblushangry about some of her behaviour at weekend in front of friends. Going to vent to copt later as I know that me being in/out active service doesn't help.

malteserzz Mon 29-Jul-13 08:38:24

Yes been back to sleep and still in bed now , ds old enough to get up himself so not sure if he's up or not will investigate soon
Enjoy coffee with copt I'm sure she'll have some wise words about big gig, don't blame yourself kids will always be kids and have good and bad days

Gigondas Mon 29-Jul-13 08:43:02

That's true malt but she was a whole loAd of Aibu type rants in two days grin. Probably my fault for feeding them a greggs sausage roll at motorway services.

Mas tesco Paris will be involved somewhere (and for snaps for you). tbh even if I do need more done I would hope can negotiate some time off before needed. Onc very reasonable.

BetsyBoop Mon 29-Jul-13 08:52:37

Morning all, much better sleep last night thanks malt - I hope you sleep better once you are out of steroid zone - don't be suprised if you start feeling really tired - mine normally kicks in about now is a cycle.

Hope the achy eases off once you get going gigs. Young kids are hard work sometimes when you are feeling well (and bgger ones too!) - it's got to be tough on all of you when you have been in/out of action for a while and more difficult to sustain "normal" boundaries/behaviour etc., so don't beat yourself up about it. Those who care about you will understand things are tough. Everything crossed and prayers said for Tuesday.

I hope smee didn't have too damp a night?

what a lovely thought re the meditation MAS smile

Amber love the circle thing smile

<waves hello> to everyone else and adds some brew to the trolley

(yeah, tea is starting to taste normal again - can't stomach it the first week after chemo, and I luvs my morning cuppa)

malteserzz Mon 29-Jul-13 09:02:05

Morning Betsy glad you slept better I did wonder if I'd start to feel more tired now I'm not on the steroids, I hate the not knowing how I'm going to be. Know I just need to take 1 day at a time.
Gigs obviously the sausage roll means it is all your fault, don't tell me there was a fruit shoot involved too ?

someone asked for a fruit shoot in the lovely cafe in Walberswick - made me snigger...
I had a v nice sausage roll at the RSPB Cafe in Minsmere, they must be acceptable !
Am really hoping you don't need any more interference gig but as you say,even if you do,am sure onc. will accomodate
I am going to ask for another week off meds when dh is off as we're doing lots out outings with T - and having the week off while in Suffolk was bliss -I felt almost normal !

Copthallresident Mon 29-Jul-13 09:57:28

Damn, I have accidentally hidden the thread and can't work out how to unhide it . iPads are annoying. Anyone any idea?

Looking forward to not coffee gigs . I shall of course adopt an air of superiority, and point up my own perfect children's accomplishments and diet whilst doing the disapproving silence and mouth like a cat's bottom at big gigs antics and shock the GREGGS SAUSAGE ROLL not mentioning big Copts diet coke and instant noodles addictions I am good at this having had so much experience of being on the receiving end so often from DMIL and some of the alpha mums grin .....

Is she 6? I remember the sixth birthday parties being the worst, filled with Bolshie and very active children, then at 7 they have their first flush of hormonal manipulativeness. Ah! The joys.....

malt just enjoy the fact that you have managed to avoid the side effects so far, no reason to think your body isn't coping with this. Dead jammy if you ask me wink every day that passes is a day nearer to finishing the treatment.

smee big hugs as you endure the tent, hope it doesn't rain. If so make sure you are not camped on a depression in the ground at the top of a riverbank, or you might find yourself being washed into the river at 3am. I don't do camping anymore.....but do frequently remind the girls that holidays in my childhood were in a tent in the rain with nothing to do but colour in my colouring book, and no we weren't happy anyway, we were bored rigid. Not to mention the loos, especially the French ones sometimes I didn't poo for a week

I was vile to my parents during the scary waiting for results phase. They did a great job of not showing their feelings and reiterating that it was entirely curable and I rubbed it in that I was going to have to endure horrible treatments. I basically reverted to my teenage self. In my case it was anger and fear going out of the circle. Felt very guilty after but they say they understood. I nearly added that amber would be along shortly with wise words and there she is.... smile

Waves to everyone as goes to get ready for gigs, now where's the Chanel......

topsyturner Mon 29-Jul-13 10:51:14

Can't advise you Gigs as my children are perfect and have never ever embarrassed me in any way in public .
oh my god ! What's happening to my nose

If they do something particularly feral , just sit there looking pathetic , and tell all the Cats Bum Mouths that "I have cancer" grinwink

Seriously though . Don't sweat it .
Kids do stupid things . She is not going to turn into a mass murderer .
Pick your battles was always my fave saying when the DC were younger !

topsyturner Mon 29-Jul-13 10:53:05

Copt I have no idea how to unhide things (didn't even know you could hide threads in the first place !)

Please have a large non coffee for me when you meet Gigs smile

KurriKurri Mon 29-Jul-13 11:43:40

Copt - click on 'customise' (just under Mumsnet Talk at the top of the page)
scroll down tot he bottom of the page to the 'ignore certain topics' section, click on the link there and it will take you to your hidden threads so you can undo them.

<geek emoticon> grin

KurriKurri Mon 29-Jul-13 11:53:48

amber I love that circle of care thing - they should give one of those to relatives and friends in hospitals!

Gigs sorry you are feeling stiff today. Try not to worry about the kids - they are bound to have their moments of wildness in front of friends. I remember DS aged about 4 at friends house (actually a work colleague of DH's that I didn't know very well) running round and round jumping on the furniture and shrieking 'nescafe, nescafe, a better way to start your day' hmm

I think they assumed he drank it, hence his behaviour grin
The wife was pregnant with her first child, and kept saying 'are children normally like this' with a worried expression on her face.

Anyway, he has turned out to be a sensible grown up!

am waving to all, hope you are OK in the tent Smee. Just realised Gigs and copt are meeting up - have a great time, eat a cake or ten for me (am dieting again sad)

kitkat1967 Mon 29-Jul-13 12:05:55

I just rang to book into my local Looking Good workshop and the next 3 are fully booked so I have a provision slot in October shock but even that will have to be confirmed by them nearer the time.

malteserzz Mon 29-Jul-13 12:22:01

Hope copt and gigs had a nice non coffee bet you've put the worlds to rights together
Kitkat shame you can't get in till then but it's something to look forward to

Good job I feel ok got a garden full of 10 year olds thing I'm too soft they always end up round here grin

kitkat1967 Mon 29-Jul-13 12:26:03

hi Malt - yes I don't really mind waiting - wierd thing is my chemo will be all done by then - how exciting is that!!

Off to orthodontist in a mo - they are going to decide if DD's train tracks are ready to come off - very exciting as she has had 2 yrs of treatment, including the awful twin blocks and her teeth have been totally transformed (and she had been a star through it all).

KurriKurri Mon 29-Jul-13 12:50:27

Good luck with the ten year olds malt grin - hope they are the kind that just get on with things by themselves and you can put your feet up!

Kitkat - I seem to remember having to book a couple of months ahead of my look good session. The good thing about it is that its because they keep the numbers for each session limited, so you get plenty of individual attention - it will be something nice to look forward to after your chemo smile

My DD had those blocks on her teeth - bet your DD is looking forward to being block and metal free (mine was a bit of a bugger about wearing hers, - I had to bribe her with promise of a trip to the London Eye if she wore them!) she thanks me now as her teeth are lovely (unlike my crooked ones)

NonnaMai Mon 29-Jul-13 13:06:28

Thank you amber that circle of care thing is great. At the moment very few people know of my diagnosis but I will be roping people in to support mum when I'm ready to go public.

I'm counting down in hours now until I get more info (46.5 as of now).

I keep re-reading the thread trying to get to grips with your stories. You all sound so knowledgable. I hope you won't mind the barrage of questions I will probably post on Wednesday.

malteserzz Mon 29-Jul-13 13:41:12

Nonna ask anything I'm sure someone will be able to answer
Bear in mind you might have to have more tests before you know the whole picture

The 10 year olds have gone to the park but it's raining so suspect they will be back! I have feet up while I can

ask anything nonna !
I can remember my brother and I being referred to as 'delinquents' by a sailing club acquaintance of my dad -we weren't doing anything particularly delinquenty, just playing. Horrid man.

KurriKurri Mon 29-Jul-13 15:00:16

yes do ask anything you want to nonna - we've got a fairly wide range of experience amongst us, - and nothing is off limits or TMI on here smile

We've just had a really heavy hail/thunder storm. It was amazing 0 only lasted a few minutes, but in that time it has knocked over all my tomato plants in tubs on the patio, and my bird table. - Just going outside to sort everything out!

MAS - I'm sure you were never a delinquent of any description!

Can we all keep fingers crossed for my mum's house sale going through this week - she should be exchanging contracts any day now.

kitkat1967 Mon 29-Jul-13 15:56:14

back from orthodontist - they did a load of tiny tweaks and we have an appointment in 10 weeks for a final check and set the date to take the things off smile. She had an over-jet of 11mm at the start of this and her front teeth week so far apart she could put a pound coin between them. They have agree to put a fixed retainer on the back of her front top teeth as they are likely to 'drift' otherwise.

DS has been at holiday club playing football in the rain so he is a happy boy.

I've got onc appointment and bloods tomorrow. As you all know I don't like the onc appt as we will have to have a feel of the lump (which always traumatises me) and I do not believe it has changed - then I will be disappointed/worried sad. This time though I am going to remember to ask what he plans to do if no change continues. I will have to take a list as I also need to remember to ask about my mirena coil and some of my meds.

malteserzz Mon 29-Jul-13 16:40:54

Kurri fingers firmly crossed for your mum
Kitkat sounds like the orthodontist went well and hope the onc does too

I've been told I can get my blood test done just before my next chemo at the gp but must arrange something so I'm not sitting in the waiting room with all of the germs, how do other people manage this ?

kitkat1967 Mon 29-Jul-13 16:54:13

Malt - do you not have to see the onc before your next cycle?

I get my bloods done at home or at oncology place so can't help with advice about 'germy' GPs but if you have an apt booked with a nurse you shouldn't have to wait too long I'd hope.

malteserzz Mon 29-Jul-13 17:15:42

Yes but got to have the blood test Monday, onc Tuesday then chemo Thursday
Not seeing the onc every cycle though think its 1st and 4th or something

kitkat1967 Mon 29-Jul-13 17:21:45

ah OK. Also I guess when he hears how fab you've done this time he will not have to adjust your meds. Plus your lump is gone so you don't have to be prodded grin
It'll be a busy week for you though.

I have got to the strangly excited can't wait stage again - mainly because I'll be half way after Thursday!! My hair's quite thin on top now - not bald but I do wonder if 1 more cycle will do for me - have ordered some bandanas as I really don't think I could stick wearing a wig all the time after my trial wear on Sunday.
You're seeing your wig lady tomorrow aren't you?

malteserzz Mon 29-Jul-13 17:27:17

Thanks Kitkat wig fitting is on Wednesday and my best friend is going with me smile not really looking forward to it but want to have one ready in time
Shame your hair is thinning hope it holds on
I do have a SE I noticed today the top of my mouth feels furry but not enough to bother me yet
Pouring with rain again !

kitkat1967 Mon 29-Jul-13 17:42:35

Wig fitting is excellent fun (in my limited experience) - I took a friend and we had a great time. She helpfully took a photo of each one I tried on on her phone so at the end I could look through all the pics to make a decision. What i found interesting was how the same style in different shades could look fab or awful - also wigs in my hair colour did not look that great - I am def going to go for highlights when this is over.
Just forget about why you need a wig and enjoy smile.

Gigondas Mon 29-Jul-13 17:45:16

Nice weather here - had lovely coffee with Copt and managed to sort out meds at gp.

Malt if you are Doing bloods at end of cycle you should be ok in Gp as immunity Should be ok.

Kitkat- there is probably better chance of no more hair loss if order some bandanas but I agree wigs can be awful in heat.

kurri - fingers and toes crossed here for sale.

Lilymaid Mon 29-Jul-13 18:02:01

Re wigs etc - I'm wearing Buffs at home and the wig when I go out. Don't wear a wig when you are cooking ... - they warn especially against opening the oven ... instant restyle!
The hairdresser shaved my remaining hair off - I was just a few days into the 2nd chemo and it was feeling very brittle. It is trying to grow back but will be hit, no doubt. by the 3rd chemo. The hairdresser did say I had a nice head shape ... though I must admit I try not to look in the mirror when I haven't got anything on my head.
I haven't tried scarves as I am hopeless trying to style them round the neck and would make an even worse job of it if I tried to style one round my head.

topsyturner Mon 29-Jul-13 18:33:30

I was a Buffs or a baldy headed girl !
I got too hot in my wig . The only time I wore it out was too meet Gracie for coffee !

Fingers crossed here for house sale too smile

Gigs what time is your appointment tomorrow ?

kitkat1967 Mon 29-Jul-13 18:46:40

Topsy - why does it not suprise me that you went baldy due to heat - was it the summer for you - baldy in pants is not something to try not to picture.

Good news about meds Gigs - I still have my fingers crossed for good news tomorrow as well.

Am going to look up Buffs now.

malteserzz Mon 29-Jul-13 18:49:52

I'm really not sure I could do the buff scarf or bald look or does everyone feel like that till it happens ?
Gigs that's true didn't think of that just going on what the onc told me
Still stormy here

KurriKurri Mon 29-Jul-13 19:12:34

Thanks for crossed fingers, Mum has started to dare to look forward to moving into her flat again - she'd got a bit down and 'can't be bothered' about it all.

We've just got our electricity back after a two hour power cut (two flashes of lightening and the entire village falls apart) - so have just put tea in the oven!

Gig glad you had fun with copt, and got meds sorted.

KitKat - you have mentioned topsy baldy and in her pants, so I will need to poke out my mind's eye. grin
I think if you are half way and still have some kind of hair, then you are doing pretty well - will pass on all good tales of cold caps to my onc as he was involved in its development and tends to bang on about it a lot grin

Lily - have you got a cancer support centre anywhere near you? - there is a group that does demonstrations of scarf tying for people on chemo, - some kind of chariy but I forget the name. They sometimes visit hospital/support centres - IIRC my DD did some scarf tying demos when she was at uni.
Or try looking on Youtube - there are sometime demo videos. (Have a vom. bucket near at hand though as they are often called things like 'brave beauty' or 'courage and fashion') grin

malt I had my blood tests at local hospital drop in phlebotomy clinic, do you have one near you? Might be easier than getting an appointment every time. My onc pointed out germiest place is hospital so if they were that worried they wouldn't treat us in hospitals! smile when I go to the GP I just try and sit away from other people if they look ill!

kitkat I had braces for underbite and gap in my teeth, I have a permanent wire thingy behind my top front teeth to stop them drifting smile good news DD will soon be free! I will be thinking of you tomorrow x

gigs glad you've got meds sorted. I was a nightmare child, once painted my mum's friend's patio in red emulsion hmm but I've turned out alright grin, good you and copt had fun too

kurri shall keep my fingers crossed too smile does this mean annoying sister has backed off? Hope so! And hope your tomatoes survived the storm

Had lunch out and did bit of shopping with my sister and dad so that was nice smile sooo hot though, and no summer clothes in the shops!

Waving to everyone I've missed!

kitkat1967 Mon 29-Jul-13 20:02:33

Lily - my local hospital has sessions once a week selling and demo'ing headscarfs. I've not been but when I passed by getting my picc line put in theywere very welcoming (was before any chemo and kind of felt guilty about having a good head of hair!).

Ruby - great news you're still improving - hope your SE are going to be a distant memory soon.

KK - I think this next session will be make or break on the hair front. In some places it is still really thick but the top needs to stop shedding now.

LadyBeagleEyes Mon 29-Jul-13 20:10:05

Hello, Ive been wavering about coming on this thread but I need people like you at the moment.
History - breast cancer, masctectomy, no chemo or radio therapy ten years ago plus 5 years of tamoxifen.
Ive just been in hospital after feeling generally shit and massive weight loss and my ct scan has shown nodules on my lungs and liver.
I go back in on Thursday for a Broncoscopy sp, it's a biopsy to decide on further treatment.
Has anyone been through this and can give me positive stories?

kitkat1967 Mon 29-Jul-13 20:19:53

Hi Lady sorry to hear you have to join us. I cannot help I'm afraid as I am (relatively) newly diagnosed but some of the other girls will no doubt have lots of helpful info for you.

Gigondas Mon 29-Jul-13 20:21:58

Welcome ladybeagle but sorry you are here.

Haven't got bc but have soft tissue sarcoma with lung and bone secondaries. Am doing ok - got quarterly check up tomorrow. All I can say is that it is possible to live with this as a chronic disease - a few of us on here with secondaries.

Have a wine as I would imagine this all has a horrid nightmare déjà vu.

malteserzz Mon 29-Jul-13 20:32:42

Welcome lady hope you find everyone here as helpful as I have
Like Kitkat I'm just at the start of this crappy journey so can't offer much advice but can offer tea and a listening ear

amberlight Mon 29-Jul-13 20:34:11

Hi Ladybeagle. Welcome from me. As Gigs says, many now live with it as a long term nuisance rather than an 'eek it's the end!', especially with the new tailored therapies. As you've not had chemo before, they should be able to find a really good new set to combat it, and some genetic profiling to allow them to add in targeted stuff.

Positive story - friend of mine was given three weeks to live, er, nearly three years ago. Still chairing half the committees in the Midlands and gardening and visiting family and planning breaks and going to the theatre etc. Chemo keeps it under control. One example. So, much will depend on what the final results say and what they can match you to.
Meantime, we're here and you are amongst new friends.

LadyBeagleEyes Mon 29-Jul-13 20:39:26

Thank you
It's wait and see I guess.
Ill be back, I'm a bit emotional at the moment but I'm glad I've introduced myself.
I'll know more after the weekend.
Speak to you soon.

BetsyBoop Mon 29-Jul-13 20:39:36

welcome lady but sorry you had to join us. I'm a relative newbie here too (just done second chemo for bc) - but I'm sure some of the lovely ladies on here can help with any qu you have, in fact some have already chimed in smile

malt I've made my GP bloods appt straight away after chemo so both times I've managed to get the 0800 (first) appt - last time I was waiting for them to unlock the doors and by the time I came out 4 minutes later there was only one person in the waiting area.;)

Gigondas Mon 29-Jul-13 20:44:03

Yep my cousin still here 5 years on.. That was after wouldn't give her til Xmas.

Copthallresident Mon 29-Jul-13 20:48:43

I have managed to liberate you all from your hiding place grin Thanks for advice KK geek

Lovely chinwag with gigs this am / lunchtime, a Reuben's brownie may have been ravaged and can report gigs was already ravaging a pizza when I arrived, so operation reboot gigs is on the road and rolling. We also sorted out the world, you may have noticed.... We also discussed the merits of various Tescos, forgot to mention that you could do a pilgrimage to that mystical Morrisons . Just need to get tomorrow over with so you can go on tour. Will be thinking of you.

Forgot to mention that Big Copt told me recently that at one of those sixth birthday parties Mary Poppins told her she would have to go and sit in a corner if she wasn't going to sit quietly, after she had wound her up working out the tricks and shouting out the details to the rest of the party blush

KK Will also be thinking of your Mum. I am sure it will be a huge relief to get her settled.

I also have a lovely shaped head lily or at least that is what everyone said when I first went public with 2mm of hair whilst trying to stifle the thought that I looked like a lesbian Actually malt when I shaved off the last stubborn wisps and looked at myself bald and boobless in the mirror, it was rather cathartic, I realised how little both hair and boob mattered in the great scheme of things. My favourite headwear was a cosy bright blue fleecy mountaineering hat, especially in bed. In my defence my treatment stretched from September to February and I really felt the cold. Absolutely no question of being a baldy in pants....

I hated having to go into the GPs for blood tests, my wbc never climbed above 2 without the injections, still hasn't ,so I used to spend the wait edging away from anyone who looked remotely unwell. The alternative was a one hour drive though.

<geek alert> Big Copt is trying to sign me up for this, Basically they are trying to get everyone to share their medical records online in useable data form so that they can use them online to conduct much wider ranging clinical investigations, combining genetic, medical and environmental information. It will allow them to conduct much bigger studies than eg the current 150 000 strong study of Breast Cancer risk (which is donating it's data) It all sounds very good but not sure how our fab NHS will cope with that sort of request. I am going to bounce it off Dr Geek though as he loves that sort of thing.

kitkat spent £000s on the Copettes teeth, neither wears the retainer, both now have gaps and cite Georgia Jaggers gap to claim it is coolangry

Topsy I see the wine is open, holds out wine Will be thinking of you on Wednesday

Also putting on trolley Hestons popcorn ice cream (at your Waitrose now MAS, rather nice)

kitkat1967 Mon 29-Jul-13 20:54:09

Copt - fortunately both DCs teeth are soooo bad they do at least qualify for free treatment. Before DD started she said she wanted to keep her gap (and it is trendy at the mo) but now it is closed up she is keen for it to remain like that.

Copthallresident Mon 29-Jul-13 20:56:21

Sorry Lady Beagle I missed your post but that is rough. I'm actually 12 years on from mastectomy and chemo but wasn't given particularly good chances so always feel lucky to be here. However you are in good company on here and I have also met women at the hospital who are still going 18 years after discovering secondaries. They are getting better at treating it as a chronic disease. It has been interesting for me to see how much better chemo is managed now. I had a bit of a battle with the side effects but there is a group having chemo now who seem to be having a much safer and more humane experience.

malteserzz Mon 29-Jul-13 21:34:31

Just a quickie from me, what can I do about heartburn ? Been lying down since I ate which I think didn't help so have been moving around and having some ginger cordial and it's eased a bit but is there anything else I can do ?

Gigondas Mon 29-Jul-13 21:40:57

Milk, peppermint tea.
Ring your unit to get drugs tomorrow as chemo will cause heartburn as damages digestive Tract. You want something proper (omeprazole or ranitidine) as it needs to be dealt with.

I had it during chemo but was fine as soon as it stopped.

Evening all,

LadyBeagleEyes welcome but very sorry that this rubbish illness has brought you here. Please feel free to ask anything you like, nothing is off limits, or to vent if you need to. We are all at different points in our "cancer journey", but we will do our best to support you smile

I'm getting a bit worried as my skin is just not healing. I've been using the steroid/antiseptic/anti fungal wonder cream that the doctor gave me for a week now and no improvement at all. Plus it feels like I'm rubbing Tabasco onto my broken skin, super owchy. And none of the painkillers I'm on are really helping. Luckily am seeing my lovely GP on Wednesday so hopefully she will be able to help smile

Aside from that whinge, all is good here.

Goodnight, I hope everyone sleeps well smile

malt have you been given lansoprazole in your bag of goodies? Definitely mention to your team so they can sort you out. Not much use now but in the morning might be worth buying some Rennies as they really help. I hope it goes away soon smile

kitkat1967 Mon 29-Jul-13 21:47:07

Malt - my onc gave me indegestion pills so def ring up and get a prescription. I also got stuff for constipation and a strong mouth wash as standard but as mentioned before my onc has had chemo so trys to cover everything up front.

malteserzz Mon 29-Jul-13 21:50:50

Thanks both not sure now if it was heartburn or indigestion or both, have had a few rumbles and burbs sorry if tmi and feels bit better
Just scared me a bit as 1st proper symptom and felt a bit out of control
Don't think I have those meds will check
Ruby sorry you're still sore hope you get something to sort it

smee Mon 29-Jul-13 22:05:19

Night 2 in the soggy tent. DS snoring away and strangely his grandparents refused my offer of swapping with them for their comfy caravan, so Mini Jaffa cakes added to the red wine.. Blimey you lot are chatty. Can't keep up, so just nipping in to heap vibes into the ether for Gigs tomorrow. Will be thinking of you and sending no more treatment vibes xx

Sorry not to post more to all and not too sure when I'll be back. Packing tent up tomorrow and moving on to stay in a friend's Mum's garden shed. The glamour of my life is boundless right now... Hugs to all those on treatment and Topsy will shift vibes to you from Gigs for Wed xxx

amberlight Mon 29-Jul-13 22:10:35

Malt, I had tons of indigestion and then upset tum, so you might be in the upset tum bit next. I lived off Rennie indigestion tablets in the middle bits of chemo cycle and took anti diarrhoea medicine when needed.

Ruby, manuka honey? Might be a big tricky to apply and keep in place (!), but supposed to be a wonder for helping heal skin. Or Aloe Vera gel? Hope GP can help.

KurriKurri Mon 29-Jul-13 22:16:46

malt - I always got heartburn/indigestion the weekend after my chemo (which was always on a tuesday) - it may be something I've made up, but I used to feel as if the chemo and killing of the cells sort of worked down my digestive system - because I would get sore throat then heartburn, then diarrhoea in that order. But I think the burning indigestion feeling is caused by the mucus membrane cells being stripped in your gullet etc.

They may very well be able to give you something for it, as Ruby says - lansoprazole works well.

Welcome LadyBeagle - I'm sure we have 'met' on other threads smile - I'm so sorry you are having to deal with this horrible illness again, what an absolute bastard it is. As you say you will know more after your next appointment, and will find out what your treatment regime will be, which at least is something to focus on. There are several people on here living and dealing with secondaries, so I'm sure they will be able to help you out with information and support. xx

Ruby - hope you can get the sore skin sorted asap - you have had to put up with it for a very long time sad (((hugs)))

waving to all, - off for a bath now - as DD would say 'thank God for that, you stink' - aren't daughters wonderful?

Swinging by to wish gigs lots of luck for results tomorrow and also to topsy for scan.

Sorry you are here lady hope we can be some support.

ruby not sure if it is anything similar but I had anal fissures caused by chemo blush pain like I have never felt before followed by hours of spasm. I was given GTN cream which was the only thing to help. Gives a wild headache but eventually healed the skin.

malt I was given Omeprazole which was great but you can buy Gaviscon in the supermarket until you get something else. Milk can sometimes help.

Waving to all - hope it doesn't rain too much smee

Copthallresident Mon 29-Jul-13 22:51:29

smee Hope the shed isn't like these ones (love the vegazzle!!)

Copthallresident Mon 29-Jul-13 22:53:31

For kk too grin

trice Mon 29-Jul-13 23:06:10

Hi Lady, sorry you are having to deal with secondaries. Cancer is such a cruel thing.

I was diagnosed with lung secondaries at easter. I felt really rubbish and had lost 2 stone and looked ghastly. I was using a wheelchair and generally felt crap. I am now on my fourth cycle of capecitabene and am walking 5000 steps a day (according to my pedometer) and am feeling amazingly much better. I put on 3kg last month. In a previous life this would have made me gallop to weight watchers but now I am really happy not to look like Skeletor!

Good luck with scan results Gig.

Hope you get your skin sorted Ruby.

Malt, I use gaviscon advance for my heartburn, it is a bit thicker than the normal stuff. I get it on repeat prescription from my gp. I drink it by the gallon.

Smee, this week you are doing extreme camping. I take my hat off to you. Wet camping is only fun until you get cold and you can't light the stove because everything is soggy. I have been there.

hello- apologies for absence... smee - v glad you survived the tent ,garden shed sounds a teeny bit better grin
malt I have my bloods done each time the day before my next round of meds but go to the GP surgery as the blood letting people are good there-also it's opposite my house -I make an appointment each time I've been to see onc. for 3 weeks time. No one has said anything about germs - I think you can probably risk it after all you'll be in germy old hospital next day !
LadyBeagleEyes -welcome and as amber says you have new friends on this thread. I was diagnosed with lung mets in September last year -3 years on from bc - I had a very sharp intense pain in my chest and was sent for an xray which spotted shadows and a CT diagnosed multiple nodules across both lungs. I had no other symptoms so it seems to be thanks to vigilent young GP who sent me for x ray. I am on 3 weekly rounds of oral chemo meds- Capecitabine-like trice and 2 subsequent scans show that the nodules are shrinking,think the largest is now 1 cm - side effects aren't too awful and it's relatively easy. As others have said mets can be managed very well these days and secondary bc has a whole arsenal of treatments ready to have a go.
Might drop T off at swimming pool later - and I might start a bit of work smile

kk sending lots of good vibes for your mum's house progress xxx

Gigondas Tue 30-Jul-13 08:06:31

brew? Slept ok but bit achy so drinking tea and waiting for painkillers to work.

Thanks for all crossed fingers for later - anxiety ok for now but building up as day goes on I expect sad.

Mr gig has gone ahead and booked a tesco trip next week (on basis that we should be able to work round this even if do need stuff done) . It's to York (so those pub etc recommends too welcome Copt and anyone else). Will do Paris tesco following week.

Am tentatively excited so lets hope nothing dire at meeting (I am half resigned to needing more stuff on aches but if that helps I can live with that. Am thinking of how chemo helped you trice).

BetsyBoop Tue 30-Jul-13 09:06:51

Thinking of you today gigs fingers crossed for good news later.

kitkat1967 Tue 30-Jul-13 09:10:02

good luck for later Gig. Good to see you have at least 1 holiday booked now.

I've off to drop of DS at club in a minute then onto onc....

malteserzz Tue 30-Jul-13 09:20:27

Morning all
Good luck to gigs and Kitkat today x

snailsontour Tue 30-Jul-13 10:09:03

Malt - omeprazole is brilliant for heartburn.

Hi Lady, bummer that you are here, but hugs to you, and as the girls say secondaries can be managed as a chronic disease.

And hello to everyone else, just catching up (or trying to), and I see you've started a new thread!

I've been a bit busy here as am moving house tomorrow - yikes!!

good luck gig and kitkat and happy house moving snails !

topsyturner Tue 30-Jul-13 10:30:18

Morning All

Welcome Lady
I'm another lung secondaries . But presently in remission (yippee !)

Good luck with the move Snails (anyone else get the mental image of you packing your worldly goods into the shell on your back ? grin )

Kitkat good luck with your apt today , let us know how it goes .

Gigs I have everything crossed for you today . (Will make it very difficult to get dressed , but you know how I love to sit around in my pants anyway !)

Am sitting in my living room , quietly having my first coffee of the day .
Feeling a little slow this morning . HNDs fault as she made me drink an entire bottle of wine last night ...

that hnd is a caution...

KurriKurri Tue 30-Jul-13 11:19:55

Loads of love and good vibes for later Gig xx

topsy - what is that HND like?, she knows you are a soft drinks only girl. tsk tsk, she's leading you astray.

Snails - good luck with the move, hope it goes super smoothly for you.

trice - its great to hear how much better you are feeling, when you were feeling so poorly not so very long ago. So pleased for yousmile

I had a flood under the kitchen sink in the cupboard - it was awash in there (must have happened a few days ago, probably DH leaving the tap onhmm) anyway, there was a packet of that colour restore for black clothes in there and its burst all over everything - wet blue/black dye everywhere, - have spent about an hour cleaning it all out. washing dye off stuff, trying to stop old lady dog dancing about in it and dyeing herself blue! grin My hands are completely blue - and I have to open a meeting and introduce the speaker tonight - so that will look good, I may have to go down the glove route grin

Waving to all.

topsyturner Tue 30-Jul-13 11:22:44

Sniggering at the thought of kk with "smurf hands" gringringrin

malteserzz Tue 30-Jul-13 11:37:03

Lol at blue hands
Good luck with the move snails
Topsy how's the head ?
Feel knackered today and guilty not doing much with the kids, ds swimming with friends and dd tidying her room but feel bit pathetic just sitting here

topsyturner Tue 30-Jul-13 11:47:19

Heads fine Malt
I'm drinking full sugar coke though ...

Don't worry about not doing stuff with the DC . If you're knackered , just rest !

Gigondas Tue 30-Jul-13 12:27:06

Relax malt- be a hands off mum (topsy is very good at reminding me of this - and Copt- so have got over my weekend crisis with big gig).

Am stressing now as dont need a blood test which I am reading way too much into. Have got a few hours to kill so may go build marble runs with big gig to distract .

sending you a cheese scone gig
malt honestly,kids really can mind themselves - makes them more resourceful and whatnot. You rest up.
I love the idea of Smurf hands kk !

Gigondas Tue 30-Jul-13 12:48:02

Am I the only one seeing kurri doing some kind of jazz hands routine with blue hands ...

malteserzz Tue 30-Jul-13 13:00:39

I know you're right they can entertain themselves still feel guilty that they should be on holiday on the beach though if it wasn't for me
What time is your appointment gigs ?

stop that malt

malteserzz Tue 30-Jul-13 13:47:40

I will try Mas

Copthallresident Tue 30-Jul-13 14:37:21

malt I know talking to the staff in my department at uni that it isn't the students whose childhoods were basically taken away by carer responsibilities that struggle to cope, they don't, they thrive, it is the ones who have had helicopter parents dancing to their every need. Shit happens and it doesn't hurt for our children to find that out early as long as they are surrounded by people who love and support them. It could be a lot worse, they'll have a good summer being Swallow and Amazons wink. Best advice I ever had was that they grow up in spite of you, so true.

gigs Hope I am not squeezing your hand too hard, wouldn't want it to turn blue, you have heard the one about people with blue hands? grin

KurriKurri Tue 30-Jul-13 15:02:53

<runs in and does jazz hands, runs out>

Just popping in to send hugs to gigs, marble run is so much fun, hope it was a good distraction!

amber thanks for the suggestion, shall try manuka honey if GP doesn't come up with anything magical! I think I'm meant to be eating honey anyway smile

Talking of which, what supplements are you all taking? I'm not taking anything at the mo as Dr W banned any antioxidants during chemo and haven't got round to working out what I should be taking yet! smile

trice I'm so glad to hear you've made such an improvement since starting the capecitabine smile 5000 steps a day is fabulous!

kk grin at blue hands!

snails good luck with your move, hope everything goes smoothly smile

smee hope you've not got too damp in the rain!

Gracie owch at fissures, yes it's a similar pain I think! Like passing shards of broken glass coated in battery acid hmm I shall ask about GTN cream, thank you smile

Waving to everyone I've missed!

trice Tue 30-Jul-13 15:31:43

Just done my 5000 steps. It is a beautiful day today, blue sky, fluffy clouds, all the children are out in their gardens playing, next door have got their bubble machine out and their 18month old ds is full of giggles. It lifts the heart.

I am setting out some story lines for our holiday. We usually try to collectively make up a story on holiday incorporating sights and people we meet. It is great fun. There are seven kids and eight adults all chipping in with wacky twists and new characters but it does make it easier if there is some sort of backbone to the tale. I am reading folk tales from the area of Italy that we are visiting and pinching some ideas and characters (the sillier and more macabre the better) . I might record it this year and actually write it down. If I get it printed into a little book with the holiday photos it would make a great Christmas present.

Malt, chill out. I helicoptered my ds like mad for years whereas my dd was kind of abandoned when she was 18 months when I first got ill. They are both happy and healthy despite my shortcomings as a parent. Even though they do spend 8 hours a day on screen time if I am under the weather. Sometimes your best just has to be good enough.

BetsyBoop Tue 30-Jul-13 15:43:56

malt I fourth (or fifth?) the chill - the kids are fine and it's good for them to learn how to entertain themselves and enjoy their own company. You will have more energy in a few days to do stuff with them smile

Speaking of which took the kidsv to the beach today and a good time was had by all smile (This time last week I was lying on the sofa whilst they spent rather longer than I'd like watching the box, but as trcie said, sometimes that has to be good enough!)

topsyturner Tue 30-Jul-13 16:15:21

Trice that book thing sounds fantastic !
What a brilliant idea .

malteserzz Tue 30-Jul-13 16:22:44

I know you're all right and they're fine ds has had a nice day swimming and playing with his friends. Dd not been out but at 14 that's her choice she could ring her friends if she was bored
Trice the story thing does sound fab
Betsy loved your beach pictures

kitkat1967 Tue 30-Jul-13 16:29:10

hello all - am back from onc (and lunch and shopping wink). Anyway he was pleased!! smile grin The lump is much more defined now (which I thought too but didn't like) and that is good news - he says before it took up much more of the breast and did not have defined edges so he is pleased with the progress. It's wierd because to me it now feels like a proper lump rather than a large area of hard breast - so yippeee.
Am going to have an MRI in 2 weeks and he will then decide whether to continue with FEC or try something else (will just be another chemo though).

Also asked about Mirena coil and I can keep it whilst on chemo. He says there is no firm evidence that it would be a problem afterwards when on Tamoxifen but it may be best to take it out then - hopefully will not have periods by then anyway.

Thinking of Gigs - hopefully she will show up will good news as well.

BetsyBoop Tue 30-Jul-13 16:43:57

that's great news kitkat - a nicely defined lump will be much easier to remove with clean margins smile

excellent news kitkatsmile
T has had a lovely swim- am very envious as it was hot and stuffy in the gallery, did any of you swim during chemo ? I really would like to..

kitkat1967 Tue 30-Jul-13 16:52:06

thanks Betsy - yes, the surgeon does bang on about his margins smile.
Also i think the hope is if we have managed that with 2 cycles there should be some more improvement with 4 more to go - and I guess it is showing that we have the right chemo for the tumour. It was never going to be a dramatic effect but I'm pleased.

kitkat1967 Tue 30-Jul-13 16:53:05

i have been sorely tempted MAS but have a line in so no hope.

malteserzz Tue 30-Jul-13 16:59:38

Kitkat that's great must be good to know its doing something good
Mas I dont know, I guess there are a lot of germs in there but then there are everywhere

Hey are we a gang now? Can I still be a member despite the fact that I have been awol for so long?

I bring treats for the trolley, and am prepared to do cushion fluffing and baking.

Seriously hope everyone is doing ok, I may not be on here often anymore but your are always in my thoughts.

<sparkle settles down, slightly embarrassed at long absence>

Gigondas Tue 30-Jul-13 17:30:28

Just popping on yo update (sorry haven't read more than bits but glad onc went ok kitkat and there is improvement).

Mixed but ok news- no spread (yay smile) but leg pain is due to issue with my back that they radiated so need another spine op to fix that.

Should get some holiday (tho will need to see surgeon next week but will take train down). Dunno when op is or quite what involves but will be in next few weeks. Will aim to make sure holiday around it;)

Oh Gig I am sorry to hear you face another op. Good news about no spread though. smile

malteserzz Tue 30-Jul-13 17:36:34

Good news about no spread gigs smileShame you need another op though

Copthallresident Tue 30-Jul-13 17:37:35

That's great news kitkat. That was my problem, that although my lump was defined when they tried a lumpectomy the margins weren't clear and it turned out there was DCIS throughout the breast so I had to go back for a mastectomy, to be honest it doesn't seem an issue now but I guess I would have preferred a lumpectomy at the time. It is great that you get to see the effectiveness in the chemo. My other breast certainly started to be less fibrous <quasi scientific word alert> once my periods stopped but I really noticed the difference on the Tamoxifen, now it's just floppy jelly <totally unscientific word alert>

MAS swimming was one of my lifelines on chemo, along with yoga. I went when it was really quiet (it wasn't school holidays) and it was so peaceful relaxing and normal, gave me a bit of faith back on my body, that it could still do a few lengths and feel good even whilst under assault. Yoga was different, I hate actually doing yoga, I constantly worry I'm going to fall over, but it does make you feel so good, and relaxed, after. I suppose it is a physical mindfulness since it is all about focusing.

Trice that is a fantastic idea, what a great souvenir of childhood memories that will be. We used to holiday in a crowd, the children grew up holidaying together and became a lovely tribe. They have gone their different ways, some of the boys have become a bit laddish and they are all at different stages in uni/ real life, little Copt was the baby, but they do revert to their old selves when with each other and are clearly very fond. We have had more than our share of tragedy in the friendship group, two parents are not with us anymore and one had a traumatic mental illness plus two l.of us with BC so I think they have appreciated having each other, friends with whom there is no need to dissemble or explain.

malt if you are worried about the 14 year old sticking in her room, there may be a lot more of that in store. They are going through so many developmental changes plus all the hormonal games at school that they need to chill. Year 9 is a nightmare for all that, a hormonal cauldron. They all like to retreat to their rooms and have some downtime. And then the schoolwork hits big time at 16, so they don't have much time to leave their rooms. Plus their time clock goes haywire so that child that had you up at 5am struggles to get out of bed by noon! You just have to strap up for a bumpy ride, they start becoming human again around 16!

Everything crossed for gigs return, and for topsy tomorrow.

Copthallresident Tue 30-Jul-13 17:43:39

X posted. Good news that no spread, but I know you could do without another op. If it fixes the pain though, life will be so much better.

Trains from York are fab, 2hrs, not bumpy. Try and get on a Grand Central, rather than North Eastern , they got the franchise for Durham via York and have nicer quieter trains with bigger seats. Often there is a first class coach at the end they have made 2nd class. Tell them "I have Cancer" and they will sort it all out for you I am sure grin

Still wine tonight I think...

Gigondas Tue 30-Jul-13 18:00:05

Absolutely wine. And more painkillers .- dr lovely due to call later. But that's my view Copt that if sorts pain, I can take the op. will try to get back in hospital with posh balcony.

Also my guess from last time is that urgent timescale is actually a few weeks so may not be that imminent

wine seems essential to me. Posh balcony sounds nice too, but how about the food?

KurriKurri Tue 30-Jul-13 18:10:40

Just off out but rushing in to say - yay for no spread Gigs, bugger about op. but hopefully it will make things a lot more comfortable for you.

Excellent news on shrinking lump Kitkat.

Sparkle - how are you my lovely?, - so good to see you <gives sparkle massive hugs and slobbers on her>

Back later - I have been landed with introducing speaker, and vote of thanks, and raffle tonight - none of which I am looking forward too. I get nervous and flustered. blush

Fab news * gig* and hooray ! We'll be on the balcony with you, being fed treats by Mr Gig I hope.
Waving to sparkle - lovely to see you grin

<runs to hug Kurri>

Good luck Kurri! I am with you....very nerve wracking! (sp is that how you spell wracking??? confused)

I am doing ok, missed you all though, <wipes tears from eyes> How are you?

<waves to MAS> been keeping and eye on you via fb! wink

SparkleRainbow lovely to hear from you, how are you getting on? smile

MAS I didn't go swimming but only because of op problems not chemo, I was told I could do whatever I liked on chemo as Dr W says most of the advice about germs is out of date and new research shows it doesn't make a difference, but most people still give out the old advice anyway!

gigs good that you'll be able to fit holidays around the op, and hopefully you'll feel a lot better afterwards smile

kitkat marvellous news that chemo is having a noticeable effect smile

betsy glad you had fun at the beach, pictures look good.

trice that sounds like a brilliant idea!

Been for a short walk this afternoon. It's a little frustrating as I feel I could walk a lot further if I didn't worry so much about being far from a loo! I think I will start doing more exercise at home, might dig out my Rosemary Conley DVD grin I'm starting my Macmillan exercise class later in the week too.

KK cross posted. Good luck tonight! I get flustered too so you have my sympathies. Hope the blue has washed off your hands! smile

Doing ok thank you RubyT. Been back at work hence the absence. I remain fine, no lumps or bumps have returned....well grown a few more spare tyres around the middle but heh ho!

I currently paying stupid money for ds to go privately for the medical care he should be getting on the nhs....can't affford it really but what else can you do? <resigned to inevitability of it all emoticon needed]

Wii fit was my saviour RubyT!

Lilymaid Tue 30-Jul-13 18:54:49

Popping in to say hello as have been at work today. Feel much better for it though I'll be knackered tomorrow. Hope the cooler weather suits everyone - though it will be hot again in a day or two.

kitkat1967 Tue 30-Jul-13 19:05:47

good news Gig - shame about the Op but out weighted by no spread i think.

topsyturner Tue 30-Jul-13 19:42:20

I am so pleased for you Gig !
No spread is fantastic .
(Ignores "needs another op" as it's just all part of the Bionification Of Gigs !)

A Facebook friend has an ap on her phone that tells you what your status was a year ago today .
Hers was that I got the news about my spontaneous remission 1 year ago today !

Now that's a year that has flown in grin

topsyturner Tue 30-Jul-13 19:43:03

KK you are just going to have to imagine them all naked ...

Gigondas Tue 30-Jul-13 19:50:59

I have just seen that topsy smile. Have candle lit for you tomorrow.

Yes op is all part of my mission to have more Lego and more drugs wink.

topsyturner Tue 30-Jul-13 19:58:54

My results apt isn't until 12th August , so keep all your positive vibes on hold till then !

amberlight Tue 30-Jul-13 20:11:13

KitKat, hurrah re the defined lump! Half of lumps don't do a thing, and they're the trickier ones. Yours did, which is good.

Sparkle!!!! Helloooooo!!

<puts out wine for those with test results, operations ahead etc etc>
Gigs, so relieved that you're in for lego and drugs <wonders about this a bit but decides not to ask>

So pleased for no spread gigs. Good that you will manage a break before op.

Yay for you too kitkat. One advantage of chemo before surgery is you know for definite the chemo is doing what it should be. I had surgery first so have to just hope it worked.

Waves madly at sparkle

Still no word from emin? hope you are ok.

grin topsy

kitkat1967 Tue 30-Jul-13 21:22:57

as usual thanks for the stats Amber - I had no idea that half of lumps don't change with chemo. Will be going to bed a happier bunny tonight - bring on cycle 3 on Thursday smile

am very excited about swimming !! have been looking at nice modest swimsuits and goggles grin

and happy anniversary of Sauron-aided remission topsy grin

Waves to amber and grace x

trice Tue 30-Jul-13 22:05:47

Gig, Yay for no spread. Poo to op. Dh has had two spine ops, he recovered remarkably quickly both times even when they accidentally nicked his spinal cord. Hope your op is similarly straight forward.

Mas, show us the link if you find a nice cossie. I am tempted to try and make one but my sewing skills are a bit hit and miss.

Topsy - I am green with envy over spontaneous remission. I wish I could do that. It's good that you are so well a year on.

Kitkat - good news about lump.

I had a call from onc today to ask me in for an appointment next Tuesday. He said not to worry, it was just to catch up. Not to worry!? Don't they know that onc appointments do my head in? So now I am in hospital Friday, Tuesday, Wednesday and Friday again. It really interferes with my denial. Grrr.

topsyturner Tue 30-Jul-13 22:11:05

"not to worry" ???
Yeah right , that's gonna happen !
I know it's probably all routine to the oncs , but don't they realise that any apts put the fear of God into us ?

malteserzz Tue 30-Jul-13 22:32:09

Not to worry, as if !
Rennies are ok on chemo aren't they, don't need them now but got some in case
Been really down today told dh I'm staying in for 6 months, dont want to see anyone or do anything I'm hoping I'm just tired and it will pass. Think I'm also stressing about wig appointment tomorrow so might feel better after thats done
Anyway tea and crunchie biscuit has helped !

malteserzz Tue 30-Jul-13 23:08:27

Night all x

topsyturner Tue 30-Jul-13 23:56:43

Night Malt
Rennies are fine , but if they don't hit the spot , phone your GP and ask for a prescription for omeprazole .
That's the good stuff !

I was reading on another thread that Nonna has her results apt tomorrow at 11.40 .
If you are reading Nonna , I'll be holding your hand tomorrow x

Right , I'm going to try and get some sleep now . Got to be at the hospital before 8.30 tomorrow .
I don't do mornings very well ...

malteserzz Wed 31-Jul-13 06:11:18

Another crap night here with hardly any sleep, woke dh up to moan at him how can he sleep with me being ill ? Not very nice of me. Cried for hours so feel rubbish this morning. I just can't see a end to this, nothing to look forward to
Did anyone else get like this once they started chemo I was coping before then
Sorry for self indulgent post but I am struggling and no one in real life really understands
Meant to be going for a wig today, I don't know whether to go or leave it till I feel I can cope with it

Gigondas Wed 31-Jul-13 06:49:22

Malt-have wine and a hug. Now I want you to imagine that I am say next to you (with a packet of choccie bics) and am going to ask you this most nicely.

I want you to ring your Gp this morning . If you can't face going for an appt , get them to ring back or visit.

You need to do 2 things . Get some omeprazole as Rennies alone aren't good enough- your gut is sensitised during chemo so omeprazole offers not just relief but protection as you don't want to end up with permanent damage.

The second thing is that it is normal to struggle with all this , you don't have to struggle as much as you do. I can see how you lashed out at dh and don't want to go out but it must be horrible for you.

I think that maybe getting some anti depressants will be of huge benefit. They may also help your sleep which won't be helping how you feel. Lots of people on here have them and helped a lot ( ned, topsy come to mind - think topsy described them as taking the edge off).

The other thing is maybe getting someone to talk to. Counselling will help have way to vent (I only get thru this at times as have been in psychotherapy for years) . Also it has been shown that learning cognitive behaviour techniques can really help you cope when you get into panic or anxiety mode .

I just think that suffering emotionally is obviously part of all this new normal but there are things to be done to help as a side effect just as if it is one of your physical side effects.

The wig visit is bound to be a funny moment as it reminds you of visual effects of all this . But I found it fun and you would be amazed how good wigs are ( I am with kitkat as Went from many bad hair days to instant style with mine). Also there is no reason to think cold cap won't work for you.

Trice-your onc is a laugh " not to worry". But does have a point as I think it's very normal to see them for catch up during chemo , radio or op . I know I always have to see my onc during/after any treatment .

Into Gp to update her and get prescription later then may get my nails done.

Gigondas Wed 31-Jul-13 06:49:43

Not wine meant brew but if wine helps why not? wink

amberlight Wed 31-Jul-13 07:28:13

Malt, how are you feeling now?
Keeping fingers crossed for all appointments today for everyone

topsyturner Wed 31-Jul-13 07:40:58

Malt I echo Gigs
My GP described the anti depressants he gave me as "not happy pills , they will just help keep you on an even keel whilst you are dealing with all the crap being thrown at you"

Also , phone Macmillan and ask to be referred to their counselling service .

Got to run , but big hugs to you all x

Gigondas Wed 31-Jul-13 07:41:52

Amber how is it all going with work/garden as you sound busy? And how is ds feeling after all that university trouble?

malteserzz Wed 31-Jul-13 07:46:10

Morning amber and Gigs Thank you I'm not sure I can face ringing gp but I am listening. Dh just gone off to work he's not happy with me he thinks I'm just giving up
I can't face the wig thing today I look absolutely crap and can't stop crying though will regret it if it all falls out and I have nothing
Got to get up got a coffee table coming from 815 and will get through the day somehow

jchocchip Wed 31-Jul-13 07:50:42

Hmmm wine maybe I shouldn't!
There must be something in the air, another one here who had a go at dh in the middle of the night. Took myself off to sleep on the sofa! Another death on facebook sad was expecting this one, but still a shock. Bastard disease.
Malt, is there a local support group? You should have a breast care nurse on your case too. Gig talks sense. Reactive depression is normal and gp can help. I can't take ads myself as risk of mania, but if you can, try them. And get referred for counselling.
brew and work sigh.
Oh sparkles, lovely to see you back, we miss you!

jchocchip Wed 31-Jul-13 07:59:17

Ime the best time to ring gp and tell them you need help is when you are weepy. No point waiting until you feel better, is there?

bcn call should be a must malt -they re there for emotional support,which is what you do need. I echo what gig has said and I do urge you to consider asking GP for anti-depressants- really they can be incredibly helpful in getting over blips which are bound to happen - mine have made a huge difference and I am able to function normally,in fact with much vigour as am not spending my time in a state of anxiety (they are prescribed for an existing anxiety disorder but sure as hell keep everything in check) DO IT !!
Am off to see GP about general aching and whatnot.
Am finding really nice swimsuits-will post my favourite...

Gigondas Wed 31-Jul-13 08:11:30

Oh jchoc - that does sound shit. Sorry about FB news.

I echo what jchoc says about ringing the Gp when upset.

Gigondas Wed 31-Jul-13 08:12:24

Do post mas. I am going to swim too as suggested by Physio but obviously need to get lego done.

kitkat1967 Wed 31-Jul-13 08:28:40

Hi Malt - sorry you feel so down, especially when you have done so well on your chemo. But I do think this is a hard part as it hits you how much longer it is all going to take and that you have to keep repeating the chemo for ages - however - I'm only a month or so ahead of you and I'm now thinking that by tomorrow evening I will be half-way through so stik with it.
I agree with the others about the ADs - you don't need to be this upset and struggling so much with your sleep. Remember - the cancer is out and gone - chemo is belt and braces - they have hormone meds to keep it away - you are going to be fine.

Gigondas Wed 31-Jul-13 08:47:32

Oh I love that. Retro look practical as well as flattering.

malteserzz Wed 31-Jul-13 09:02:37

Lovely cossie Mas very classy
Sorry to hear your news Jchoc x
I'm up and dressed and will be ok Im not going to the wig fitting though not today

jchocchip Wed 31-Jul-13 09:05:06

Yes I like that. Get mine from bonmarche low leg with skirt... my mums 1950s halter neck costume is still in the airing cupboard. No stretch, with a zip... grin

jchocchip Wed 31-Jul-13 09:08:19

Xpost malt
Phone and rearrange. We are all allowed off days.

jchocchip Wed 31-Jul-13 09:08:38

Yes I like that. Get mine from bonmarche low leg with skirt... my mums 1950s halter neck costume is still in the airing cupboard. No stretch, with a zip... grin

jchocchip Wed 31-Jul-13 09:09:39

How did that happen. <on bus on phone>

BetsyBoop Wed 31-Jul-13 09:20:29

malt sorry you are feeling crap <hugs> and brew ditto what everyone else said about contacting GP & BCN. Emotional side effects are just as important as physical ones. Remember they deal with this every day, nothing will shock/suprise them, including you being a bit weepy, they will know how to help. Also no matter how crap you feel do try and get out every day, even if it's just for a quick walk, it really helps.

topsy thinking about you today, everything crossed for your scan.
jchoc sorry to hear about your friend.

<waves> good morning to everyone else.

trice Wed 31-Jul-13 09:32:29

Malt, you poor thing. Sleep disturbance is terrible, it makes you depressed and then you can't sleep, a vicious circle.

Just for today, if you can't get to gps, try to spend as long as possible outside. The daylight will help you sleep later. Try to go for a walk.

When I have a head spinning with bad thoughts in the middle of the night I listen to radio programmes on listen again. I find the history of the world in 100 objects particularly soporific. Bracing pat on the back from me.

Don't get cross with yourself - you are full of poisonous medicine and it gets everywhere - even into your head. You have options, anti depressants, counselling, cbt, exercise and walking. It is normal to ask for help.

topsyturner Wed 31-Jul-13 09:32:36

Back home already from scan !
I was actually home 20 mins ago , so blasé about CTs these days .
The radiographer and I added them all up , I've had 12 CTs , 2 MRIs , 1 bone scan , 4 chest X-rays !

Think I must be more radioactive than Sellafield grin

Malt I think today calls for a "be good to yourself" day .
Do whatever feels right . And if you feel up to it , call your GP .
You prob won't even have to go in , they'll prob leave a prescription for you .

Gigs I'm envious of you getting your nails done today . I'm always saying I will , but never do . I always find something else to spend the money on ! (Normally kids !)

Jane sorry to hear of your loss , it is a bastard disease indeed !

Mas I like that costume . Sports Direct have got some boy leg ones for really good prices !

Right , I need food .
I want Mexican .
Can someone whip me up a shredded beef burrito with sour cream , guacamole , and extra cheese please ?

Gigondas Wed 31-Jul-13 09:42:30

That was quick topsy. Now trying to think how many scans I have had- 4 MRI, lost track of chest x ray but probably 10, 8 ct?. Haven't had bone or pet scan. Maybe I get a sticker on my file if I have a new one?

You have made me hungry now for Mexican tho.

Glad you are up and dressed now malt.

Waves to trice kitkat and betsy.

Better lug myself off sofa as have to brave Gp soon to get sack of meds for holiday and update them after yesterday. There will be blood on carpet tho if I get a head tilt ...winkhmm

amberlight Wed 31-Jul-13 09:57:24

<tilts head> grin

BetsyBoop Wed 31-Jul-13 10:01:54

that was quick topsy, if only the results could be as quick...

you are braver than me amber, I fear the wrath of robogigs grin

Gigondas Wed 31-Jul-13 10:24:18

I would be afraid. Am having very definite mood surge today as have upped my painkillers.

Off to go and jump around (in a slightly stiff way) in the Gp waiting room in my boiler suit robogig

Lilymaid Wed 31-Jul-13 10:24:57

I'm on 2nd round of chemo and my meds include:
1 x Omeprazole daily to relieve stomach irritation
up to 8 x Domperidone daily (instructions are to take regularly for 5 days after chemo then as needed) to relieve sickness.
I also have to take an antibiotic and antifungal for a week starting on Day 8 of treatment cycle and I have found I feel much better as soon as these kick in.
DH went to our local Maggies centre at our hospital yesterday (he had an out patients appointment at the hospital, so thought he would investigate) and they provide counselling sessions as well as massage, yoga ... etc, so worth contacting your nearest one so you can have the opportunity to talk it all through.

KurriKurri Wed 31-Jul-13 10:30:07

Dear malt ((((hugs)))) - I echo everything the others have said, feeling utterly crap and miserable is one of the side effects of having cancer and cancer treatment, and it is treatable just as the sickness or whatever is. And it is nothing to be embarrassed about, don't worry if you cry at HCP's - that's what they are there for, they will talk your through all this, and you can get some help with sleeping and mood, - I resisted anti-depressants at first after a couple of chemos I was feeling really low and started on a low dose - it made the world of difference, but they take a couple of weeks to kick in so you need to allow for that. I'm not trying to push AD's - but they are worth considering, I also had counselling which I found very helpful - ask for help my lovely if you are feeling dreadful, help is out there.

And as an afterthought - crying, feeling lousy, feeling depressed is a totally, totally normal reaction to the massive thing that has happened to you, breezing through happily without a care would be very abnormal - you are reacting to a real trauma, and the symptoms you have effects of going through that trauma, - anyone who is going through a big crap horrible event feels as you do, - so don;t be down on yourself, or think you aren't coping, - you are going through the normal stages that people go through when they are coming to grips with a trauma.
Take care darling, and ring your GP or BCN (or get him/her to ring you) xxxx

MAS - lovely cossie. topsy - good that scan was quick. Waving to all - esp. amber and jchoc - I feel as if I haven't 'spoken' to either of you for ages - much love smile

Loads of luck to Nonna for her appointment today.

KurriKurri Wed 31-Jul-13 10:33:09

I have a giant horsefly bite on my shoulder and it is very sore (slightly worried as it is on my no lymph node side so keeping an eye on it) - I've tried benedryl cream, and some savlon insect sting gel, - all no help at all - its been there about three days now and showing no signs of going down. Anyone recommend any magic cream that works on insect bites?

KurriKurri Wed 31-Jul-13 11:41:08

I meant to say earlier malt, I always got very tearful and abit snappy about a week after chemo, - it is the steroids that do it - make you feel shit, so that will definitely be adding to the way you feel.

has anyone suggested that you keep a little diary of how you feel each day during your cycle?, - so you just note down your indigestion, low mood, sickness or whatever, and the day it occurs. It is very helpful for next cycle, - you can see how you felt, and see also when you started to feel a bit better, and you will find there is a bit of a pattern probably. And it helps in dealing with things when you know what to expect.

Remember - this first cycle is a big learning experience, everything is an unknown quantity to you atm, - you are getting used to how your body deals with the chemo you are having, - everyone is a different, and your experience is unique to you, - you will become the expert! smile

Also if you have it written down, it is easy to look through and make a list of anything you might want to chat to the oncologist or nurses about next time.

Sorry to rabbit on blush -I am doing the housework, and things keep popping into my mind that I think might help you, - feel free to cherry pick advice and suggestions offered by me, and sling out anything you think is nonsense grin

eek about bite kk - witch hazel ?
Glad scan was quick - am very modest in my scans and x rays I think...
Glad you like the swimming costume- I have an unworn speedo which I bought about a yr before initial dx but as it doesn't have any bosom shelf or whatever they call it then my odd sizing might look more apparent- plus I like the idea of modest legs- would save a lot of topiary.
I also want nice googles ! Am very excited as GP reckons swimming would be fine too ! He feels my aches are arthritis,esp my poor index finger which is really not good - so I think I'll just accept that. He bent all my joints at different angles and movement is good. I just wanted some kind of label so I can put it away and not have to keep mentioning it-does that sound sensible ?
I always feel foolish trying to explain stuff that I can feel but isn't apparent to others..

topsyturner Wed 31-Jul-13 11:52:31

KK piriton and a 5% steroid cream is what you need . I have dovobet for my psoriasis , and that's what I use for DH (he seems to give off horse fly attracting pheromones !)

KurriKurri Wed 31-Jul-13 12:06:50

brilliant - thank you, topsy I have some of that cream I was given it at the hospital when another bite I had went nasty and I had to go to a and e, - I'd completely forgotten it. Have applied it and am now waiting for bite to disappear grin

MAS - I think that swimsuit is a lovely flattering shape, - I'm totally with you on avoiding unnecessary topiary! grin
I think swimming will definitely help your arthritis, helps you to keep moving which is good, but hard if you are in pain, so water will be gentle and supportive for joints.
I know what you mean about labels - I think other people seem to need them - it's as if something hasn't got a title, then it's not real, - much handier if you can say 'I've got bubonic plague actually'! grin

malteserzz Wed 31-Jul-13 12:11:37

I have read and listened to everything you've all said thank you
Not cried for a bit so that is progress and the weather is so rubbish feel justified in us all doing nothing today though ds will have square eyes grin

topsyturner Wed 31-Jul-13 12:13:18

It's 5% steroid cream kk not flipping voodoo grin

topsyturner Wed 31-Jul-13 12:14:55

Square eyes are fine malt
I've gone back to bed , both the DC are in their rooms (which have tvs and computers in them shockshockshock )
And I've told them they can eat whatever they can forage !

malteserzz Wed 31-Jul-13 12:26:11

Can I come over topsy my mum is coming round and peace will be shattered here !

Copthallresident Wed 31-Jul-13 12:38:18

malt I echo what everyone else says, I managed without ADs but I did have downtimes, it is inevitable, the physical effects of the poison and all the pscychological effects of what you are going through, but I found coping mechanisms, walks, exercise, visions ( you can have huge fun with that and especially good for keeping the dark thoughts away at night), planning for the future, travels etc. , my informal support group, especially my informal support group, ADs Counselling and CBT are all other ways to help you cope. Don't let the bugger get you down. You Are going to feel better physically in your good week and it would be so sad if you don't enjoy that to the full. Also, I say that I didn't take ADs but my lovely Oncy used to slip one into my pre chemo drugs pack for the night before each treatment, she claimed it had some essential physical effect hmm they do understand.

I also really benefitted from talking it all through with someone who was going through it, I suppose that was my counselling. I am sure your BCN or Macmillan can put you in touch with someone who is or has been through it. My group of friends all felt that our DHs couldn't cope emotionally with what we needed to talk about. It is perfectly normal for your DH to be struggling with the fear you are giving up, my DH laid crying in my arms at night, afraid I was going to leave him. Don't underestimate what he is going through too, having to watch you go through this and feeling helpless to do anything. Obviously you need to focus on yourself in all this but remember Amber's circles, your DH needs support too.

Topsy will be holding your hand to 12th. Loved your Darwin Awards Fbook post, I love that book, my favourite is still the Metallica fans Pants were involved so be careful out there...

kk might you be having an allergic reaction, might be worth taking a Claritin or other anti histamine. We pop those like sweets in this household as otherwise would be large red blobs all summer.

mas love the swimsuit. I get mine from Amoena but they have gone all cougar recently, all leopard skin, I bet Topsy has been deluging their market research grin when you get it could you scout out it's boob shelves for whether you could sew in a boob holder.

gigs glad you are feeling bionic, if you feel the need to bounce more we have a giant trampoline, slightly rusty, lots of cigarette burns hmm would get rid of it but little Copt will only allow it to go if we get her and her friends a fire pit to sit round shock it was all so simple when it was a swing and slide set sad

Back to the cleaning, DH actually asked if I found it rewarding after I spent yesterday with a large toothbrush and lakeland specialist cleaning products in the bathroom, I can't stop once I start but rewarding is not the word sad

Copthallresident Wed 31-Jul-13 12:55:47

Can add a 17 year old who is sat in front of her screen with a tuna melt. I caught the tuna, baked the bread, milked the cow of course foraged out of tin of tuna, end bits of cheese, ready to bake bagette

I had PET scans, loads of them, must be 5, Dr geek lurved the new toy and then they had a scan addiction in Hong Kong, had one every 6 months though no signs of trouble.... Do i get a sticker? at least it's just a ring that passes around you, you don't go right inside as that freaked me completely. Also bone scan and bone density scans and two vaginal ultrasounds which are definitely a bit oooo er. A very jolly hockey sticks radiographer sticking what looks like a dildo up my you know where.....

Malt - I am so sorry, big hugs are on the way. I can only agree with the others. I think Kurri's idea of a diary is good, we use a pain diary for my ds, and not only does it help to track and prove triggers, but it also a release for him. About 4 years ago I frogmarched my dh down to the gp, and sat behind him gesticulating to the gp as he described how he was feeling. He was told and he now acknowledges that he has severe clinical depression, and the gp's and the nhs has been very good and supportive. Sounds like you need support during treatment and recovery, you might only need it in the short term, but I am sure they will be there for you.

MAS - I love that costume, I need a new one as mine is still my maternity one, which was second hand when I got it when I was pregnant with ds who is now 10! I am hovering over the buy button!

KurriKurri Wed 31-Jul-13 13:29:46

My bite is still there hmm - I blame you topsy, - start sticking pins in a doll right now grin

I think I will need to take an antihistamine copt. - but I've got loads to do this afternoon, so will hold off a bit as they always make me fall asleep (at least piriton does which is what I have in the house - actually it is old lady dog's but I'm sure she will let me have one grin) I might have some ancient cyclizine somewhere bu they totally knock me out too.

Sparkle - its annoying you have had to go private, after all your battles with the NHS care DS was getting. How is he doing atm, and how are the girls (tiny sparkle must be getting quite a big girl now smile)

BetsyBoop Wed 31-Jul-13 13:39:28

malt I second KK's suggestion of a diary - I've been doing this and it does help from the second cycle onwards as you know what to expect when.
I can also say that emotionally the Tues & Wed following the Thu chemo are the worst days for me. Combination of post-steroid low, tiredness from poisoning effect on my body, coupled with lost/disrupted sleep due to steroids seems to hit me most on those days, which definitely doesn't help! As has been said everyone is different though, but my diary definitely helps as I can go "oh yeah I felt like this last cycle, it'll pass in a couple of days" smile

ooh yes sparkle - buy it !! I shall order mine v soon...

Copthallresident Wed 31-Jul-13 14:21:51

Also malt, like kk thoughts keep popping up, remember that when you are feeling low you are only able to see things negatively and feel unable to do anything, including get help. I had an excellent book written by a local journalist with her BCN at the Marsden which helped me with a lot of my coping strategies I would love to type out whole chunks on how to handle the down times and recommend the book. However one thing they say is that those horrible thoughts can and do go away, thinking is an ability, not reality. So you are able to have these horrible thoughts but you should remind yourself they are remember they are not reality. You should only make decisions and reach conclusions when you are thinking and feeling better about things, when your thoughts are closer to reality. They suggest setting half an hour a day for dwelling on your fears and worries, so that if a bad feeling arises during the rest of your day and night say that's for between 9.30 and 10. During that half hour you can get those thoughts out and dwell on them, it does help to face them, but the rest of the time see them for what they are.

The book is full of coping strategies, I really recommend it, but above all, like us they say that having a good cry is one thing but if it is stopping you getting out and enjoying life it is time to get help.

There you made me get one of my Cancer books out of my bedside table where they lie shut away and neglected, as a sort of talisman against Cancer, underneath my wig grin

malteserzz Wed 31-Jul-13 14:37:06

I do like the idea of a diary and setting a time to think negative thoughts
A lot of my problem is that I'm still thinking about what wed be doing today if I didn't have cancer and all the things we've had to cancel. I can't think ahead to things that we might do as I can't face the thought of having to cancel them too, so it just seems easier to do nothing
I hope Betsy is right and this is a low couple of days
If I still feel low I will ask about ADs though my family would disapprove there again what business is it of theirs
I'm sure sleep would really help me I'm going to take a tablet tonight, am so tired but can't even nap today just can't switch off

bugger what your family think- they aren't in your situation.Taking anti depressants doesn't mean that you're going to get addicted or are weak or anything,it just shows your intention to take charge and deal with negative thoughts and depression.
I would seriously look into meditation or mindfulness as they would teach you strategies to deal with these feelings. What you might have been doing isn't really helpful - being in the present is though. As meditation focusses on breathing then it automatically calms your body and mind and you learn to let the thoughts of what might've been etc pass by-you acknowledge them but don't engage in them and let them pass over.

In other news-chemo nurse at hosp. via my bcn says no to swimming - this is a total pain as I'm all excited by the thought - I shall make further sensible enquiries to onc. I can't spend my life not doing stuff in case I might get unwell with a bug,which given my robust blood is really very unlikely. Bugger and bugger again.

Gigondas Wed 31-Jul-13 15:19:26

All mas says about being mindful is right - it's also got scientific backing as being a good way to break depressive and anxious thought patterns .

I would go back to onc mas because if your blood are robust , where is the risk it's not like you have the weirdy freak blood of Copt

That bite sounds horrible kurri -I sympathise about anti histamine as they make me sleepy too. Has blue dye gone?

Trying to manipulate Arrange dr appointment so I don't have to leave tesco York. I don't wish not to take my condition seriously but experience /cynicism after the neck op tells me 1. That things can probably wait a week if I stay off the roller coaster in eurodisney 2. That meeting on Monday could probably be done by phone as guy has scans

good idea about not having to leave Tesco York...
Brain scans have shown evidence of how people who practice Mindfulness's brains have altered - it is taken v seriously by medics and is part of lots of CBT treatments.
I bet onc. will say it's fine -she has unofficially allowed me unboiled water after all !

KurriKurri Wed 31-Jul-13 15:53:54

Bugger about swimming MAS, - I hope they let you go, it would be so relaxing for you.

Most of the blue dye is gone Gig, but I couldn't get it out from under my finger nails, so I have put blue nail varnish on to hide it grin
Good luck with arranging appointment.

malteserzz Wed 31-Jul-13 16:13:19

Mas what a pain about the swimming I would have thought the benefits would outweigh the risks. Are we all meant to be boiling water ?
Gigs hope you can get something sorted would be a bit of a pain to have to come all the way back

Copthallresident Wed 31-Jul-13 16:23:24

mas I bet your bloods are better than mine are now, wbc are never above 2 where 4 is supposed to be the minimum. I think Doctors are often being on the safe side and operating on prejudice rather than Science, and forget there can be benefits as well as risks. If they don't swim themselves they are probably thinking of it as a place where their children wee, or worse. I have been in and and around pools quite a lot of my life, between competing and working there, and continuing to exercise, even with my weird freaky blood, and I only know of one person getting an infection there, and that was from cutting their elbow open on the steps to get out, above the waterline, and in an old pool and 30 years ago (Bingley baths jchoc) . I would be careful out of the pool and I don't go near Jacuzzis, all that warm water recycling? eew. but swimming pools are definitely more benefit than risk.

Challenge your Onc on it and decide for yourself based on what they say.

MushroomSoup Wed 31-Jul-13 17:06:27

Have been signposted her from Chat, hope you lovely lot can help me. Sorry for barging in!

I had breast cancer in 07 (lymph node removal and chemo) but no other intervention since then. Still on annual checks.

Check up MRI shows I have fibrocystic disease - common, benign lumps. As I have a history of cancer, should I worry? Have been told I should be vigilant at checking my breasts but won't be called back for a year.
Not sure if my niggling worry is justified or not!

Hello Mushroom and welcome, I'm a bowel cancer person so can't be of any help but I'm sure someone more useful will be along shortly smile

malt sorry you're feeling so down, it's normal to have down days but if it starts affecting your life significantly that's when it becomes classed as depression, so if it carries on definitely contact GP or BCN. I third the suggestion of mindfulness and can recommend headspace. The take10 course is free and it's just ten minutes a day for ten days of mindfulness, he talks you through what to do and it's very relaxing. I'm the abnormal person kk described as I've only had a few down moments and they've all been related to my bowel problems, I've not really had any cancer panics or worries confused but I've definitely found the headspace courses have helped me much calmer in general smile there are also various books on mindfulness.

My GP recommended moodgym if I was feeling depressed or anxious. I haven't needed to use it so I have no idea what it is like but apparently it's basically online CBT smile

kk hope the bite clears up soon. We have a spray thing called magicool plus which I use on heat rash and insect bites to stop itching. I think they sell it in Superdrug. I hope the cream clears it up smile

MAS fingers crossed onc approves swimming smile

topsy glad the scan went well.

jchoc very sorry for your loss sad

Today was the last day of my HOPE course which is a bit sad, but most of the people go to the Macmillan exercise class too, which I'm starting tomorrow grin so I'm sure we will keep in touch, plus there are meetings planned for the support group later in the year, and a cancer conference at one of the hospitals!

I also had a phone message to say I've got a place on the Look Good Feel Better session in August and my lovely GP is prescribing lidocaine for my rash, it's a local anaesthetic type thing, and I should have that tomorrow smile

amberlight Wed 31-Jul-13 17:55:48

Hi MushroomSoup. Welcome! Depends on the sort. Nearly all sorts of fibrocystic changes in the breast carry no extra risk of breast cancer at all. One or two rare sorts carry an increased risk. If they are able to tell you the sort, we can probably give you a bit more of a clue. For example nonproliferative has no increased risk, proliferative doubles the risk. Atypical lobular hyperplasia gives a five-times-higher-risk. Given they've told you to come back in a year, I would guess you have one of the very ordinary sorts. But I'd ask, aye.

welcome mushroom - and I knew amber would have advice !
ruby Hooray that you've got a place on the LGFB course grin
I am certainly going to press for swimming as I can only see benefits- I can't spend my time in a bubble ! Besides which I reckon my immune system is pretty tough and considering I have no spleen on top of that and am rarely ill I think I can swing it.
Really feel a bit foolish for bothering to ask actually.
malt apparently our tap water here has clostro thingy in it...think you are ok to have regular water- they'd say otherwise.
Am actually drinking more water now I'm not confined to horrid boiled.
jchoc apologies- forgot earlier to add my condolences.x

malteserzz Wed 31-Jul-13 18:22:24

Thanks Mas think ours must be ok then
Welcome mushroom
Gosh amber how do you know all of this stuff ?
Ruby thanks for that I have downloaded it and will have a listen smile
Rained all day here, tomorrow is meant to be 31 degrees we'll see!

MushroomSoup Wed 31-Jul-13 18:46:17

Brill! Thank you.
It must be an ok-kind-of-FBD if they don't want me for a year!

amberlight Wed 31-Jul-13 19:12:34

Mushroom, aye. Scans etc show what sort's what, and if it was a dodgy sort they'd want more than your usual stuff.

Malt, brain like a computer. Rubbish at diplomacy, nifty for facts. grin

Gigondas Wed 31-Jul-13 20:30:10


I can thoroughly recommend the m and s lemon ricotta cheesecake.

Getting very excited about trip to tesco. Which reminds me, how is smee doing? Also when are you off topsy?


When are you off to Tesco gigs?

We are off to a cottage for a week on Saturday smile

Think smee is in the shed by now? Hopefully not too damp! smile

Gigondas Wed 31-Jul-13 21:24:43

Same day ruby -where are you off to?

kitkat1967 Wed 31-Jul-13 21:36:49

oooo - I forgot about Smee's shed - are we expecting to hear from her tonight with a shed update?

Kitkat not sure, she might not be able to update until she gets home?

gigs going to Cotswolds smile

malteserzz Wed 31-Jul-13 22:08:10

Ruby and gigs glad youre both getting away a change of scenery will be good smile

PictureThis Wed 31-Jul-13 22:19:47

Evening all (waves to everyone). My hair is coming outsad. I know if it wasn't I would be worried the chemo wasn't doing its job but now it is all very very real, the mastectomy scar I can look at but the hairloss..... Everyone keeps saying what a wonderful Positive Mental Attitude I have which is driving me nuts. The way I see it I had breast cancer, I had a mastectomy and some nodes removed, clear CT, now it's belt and braces surely, or am I missing something. Sorry for the rant, I'm just fucked off with this sodding disease.
You know, I think I may go swimming too. I might get one of those vintage looking swimming hats, you know the ones with the flowers on. Something to hide my very soon to be baldy bonce. Amoena still have a 50% off sale on so will go looking for a swimsuit.
<<leaves but not before chucking some of the homemade cupcakes decorated with fresh cream and berries onto the trolley. Made a shed load for the cake sale at work>>.

topsyturner Wed 31-Jul-13 22:28:21

Picture you are very much allowed to be fucked off !
If anyone is going to "get it" , its us .

I'm off to a very rural Tesco in the west of Ireland on the 17th .
So looking forward to it !

Gigondas Wed 31-Jul-13 22:33:41

Oh the hair loss thing is upsetting and anger making. It made me have to think I was looking at someone with cancer.

I did get used to it tho and didn't mind after a while - honest.

New swim hat sounds great plan smile.

PictureThis Wed 31-Jul-13 22:45:24

That's exactly it Gigs, it will make me think I am looking at someone with cancer and what is worse, the head tilting by others will go into complete overdrive. I think chemo is turning me into a cantankerous mare with an itchy head and itchy fooff. Bizarrely I hadn't reckoned on the deforestation hair loss in the Ladygarden. I love that phrase. We once had a bet with a Consultant at work that he wouldn't include it in a handover. He did. Childish I know but it was funny.

arf picture !! and def. get a flowery swimming hat !
I am very determined to go swimming- I shall quote that everyone I know on chemo went...
We are off to Tesco in the not quite north (E Midlands) to see MIL - not a holiday,just a courtesy visit. I am awful sad
Bloods tomorrow then the whole meds cycle begins- I've had 2 weeks off and loved it.
Nighty night all - hope you sleep malt

trice Wed 31-Jul-13 22:57:29

PictureThis sorry you are loosing your hair. It is ok to swear at head tilters.

Having a bald ladygarden was amusing for the novelty value. I can't believe grown women pay people in salons to de forest their foof. It made me feel like a seven year old actually, not remotely sexy. But it takes all sorts etc.

jchocchip Thu 01-Aug-13 00:09:14

Oops I appear to have slept the evening and wide awake now. Kk has an amusing citrus thread on the go grin. Are pineapples citrus??
Rotten neck ache. Maybe set up of computer. Had foot scan. Maybe tendon related. Must get back to gp.

Gigondas Thu 01-Aug-13 06:57:48

Hope gp can suggest something for your foot jchoc as it has been niggling you for a while. My right knee feels sore and puffy -seems to be worse where have slept on it as in habit of going on one side. Suppose ought to add that to get it checked list hmm.

Gigondas Thu 01-Aug-13 07:04:51

The whole sympathy thing irritated me too picture -cancer Tourette's was never far away when people did that . To be fair tho there Was only one mum like that at school gate and she was a royal pain generally.

Going up town today to see dietician , dressing check (leg healing quite well so not long til I can swim) and see Therapist. Taking big gig as she is meeting my mum for special day out (it's a treat for being good this week). Think they are off to summer exhibition then lunch. Am envy -big gig been up since 6 as so excited.

brew? May check out kurri thread as they are always corkerswink.

jchocchip Thu 01-Aug-13 07:47:36

Morning gigs! <healing for swimming vibes> grabs brew. Have day off work but no car. Am not going to mn all day weather forecast hot so sofa covers in machine. Friend over later so incentive to clean house grin
envy of big gigs day out too smile

Gigondas Thu 01-Aug-13 07:50:31

Yes looks like a hot day here. Shame to waste it tidying.

jchocchip Thu 01-Aug-13 07:58:21

I'm not so fussed by tidyness but whatever possessed my mil to buy white sofas? which somehow I have inherrited Cat playing in mud + sofas = grime sad

kitkat1967 Thu 01-Aug-13 08:01:03

morning all - I've got 3rd chemo cycle today. Didn't sleep that well last night which is now unusual for me - must be the anticipation. Prior to diagnosis i did have sleep issues but now I sleep really well confused. I know the steriods will have me up for the next 5 nights but will conitnue to work my way through Grey's Anataomy - nearly at the end of series 2.

DS off to club and DH and DD are taking me in then going out to lunch and Gromit hunting envy (big clue to where I live). Last time they found 8 but they will go to a different part of the trail today.

jchocchip Thu 01-Aug-13 08:06:17

Morning kitkat. Hope it goes ok today. No idea where gromit lives. I know the Wednesdale cheese place in Hawes used to use w+g branding. Hope they have a grand day out.

Gigondas Thu 01-Aug-13 08:15:39

Ohh kitkat I will have to catch up as am halfway thru series 2. How annoying is Meredith..

Pre chemo nerves is good but you know drill now so should be easier.

Jchoc we also have (pre kids) white sofa. It's filthy...

kitkat1967 Thu 01-Aug-13 08:20:37

Gig - it's sort of nerves mixed with excitement as I cannot wait to be half way blush

Yes, Meredith is annoying but I love Bailey - watched 1 episode yesterday and she has just been sent home ready to have the baby. will watch a few more whilst sitting through the cold cap.

Gigondas Thu 01-Aug-13 08:32:16

Yes I love bailey too.

That's exactly how I used to feel. Also I used to welcome first bit of chemo going in (and sing "hit me with your best shot" in my head) as I like the idea of chemo destroying cancer and making me well.

Lilymaid Thu 01-Aug-13 08:42:14

DS2's birthday today but he is 3k miles away working having fun as a camp counsellor at a summer camp. We will try to phone him later as he has virtually no Internet access ( yes even students can live without it for short periods of time). Birthday present still to be discussed but we have sent him a cheesy Moonpig card.

BetsyBoop Thu 01-Aug-13 08:57:57

Just popping on to wish kitkat good luck for today - half way smile

Will catch up properly later.

malteserzz Thu 01-Aug-13 09:32:41

Kitkat hope it all goes ok today
Lily happy birthday to your ds when will you get to see him again?
Morning to everyone else. Slept much better last night with sleeping tablet, dh relieved I didn't wake him for daring to be asleep again !

Lilymaid Thu 01-Aug-13 09:58:37

Malt DS2 is due home on 20th ... but I'm going away on a course that day so may not see him until the weekend. DH is going to have to tell him the news as he (and DS1) doesn't yet know.

Congratulations to Kitkat on getting to half way through chemo - next week it will be my turn!

malteserzz Thu 01-Aug-13 10:19:49

That will be a hard conversation lily but at least you're part way through and know what's what. Bet you can't wait to see him
Normal morning here, ds out with friends on his bike, dd in bed, me watching Jeremy Kyle. I have friend coming for coffee this afternoon though

Lily - happy birthday to ds2. Hope the conversation goes all right. Will be thinking of you.

Malt - how are you doing today. Don't let anyone tell you AD are a sign of weakness, they are actually a sign of great strength, and they can make all the difference. I always sue the diabetes analogy. They wouldn't tell some with diabetes that it was weak to have to take insulin, depression is no different, it too is a chemical imbalance.

Kitkat - good luck today.

Kurri - how is the bite?

Ds is ok, his pain levels are high, and we have to hire a wheelchair if we are going out anywhere. Having said that he is generally looking quite robust. Have a big splash pool inflated on the terrace (too posh to be a patio) and all the kids are loving spending their days jumping in!

The girls are great. Dd2 is going to start reception in Sept and is so excited about it. She has learnt to read this year (being a bit of a literacy genius wink) and is sitting and reading prolifically. Her decoding is so good she picked up Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows the other day, and I caught her reading it curled up in the arm chair. I have swapped it for Stories for parents to read to Five Year Olds instead.....little more appropriate I think!

MAS - having bought it yet, but keep going back to that swim suit link....I love it.

big gig looks v grown up in the picture -hope they have a lovely day !
Bloods done, Waitrose been to (saw parents in there and chatted to a friend) now to clear up and clean a bit. VV Hot here.
Good luck to those having appointments/treatments today - stay cool...

Mas - well done getting the bloods done x

I shall convince onc that I need to swim and then will order (and asome Zoggs goggles too !) sparkle !

am getting v casual about bloods sparkle grin

Good morning all,

kitkat do you have the Grey's Anatomy boxset? I'm very jealous grin I'm meant to be working my way through my West Wing boxset but it's quit heavy going! My cousin has also let me Sex and the city so might start that instead. I was catching up on Grey's Anatomy on lovefilm instant but now they've removed it sad congrats on being nearly halfway. When I got there I was singing Bon Jovi, woooooahhhh we're halfway there!

gigs grr at knee. Sounds like you've got a busy day. Hope all the appointments go well. And I hope big gig has a fun day out!

jchoc hope the sofa covers have come up nice and white! We have a white sofa too, was good until my mum's friend spilled red wine on it!

lily happy birthday to DS2 smile will DH tell DS1 at the same time?

malt enjoy friend's visit smile

I'm off to my first Macmillan exercise class this afternoon. I have an appointment with the physio type person beforehand and then the class runs for an hour. I'm quite nervous as I'm not sure I can handle a whole hour of exercise! Plus I have no idea what the format is or anything. Oh and I expect I'll have to run out to the loo several times blush but it's all part of getting fitter and healthier again grin

malteserzz Thu 01-Aug-13 12:04:51

Ruby hope the exercise class goes well its bound to be a bit daunting if you don't know what to expect but I'm sure you won't have to be doing vigorous exercise for an hour !
Mas do you live in waitrose grin I had a Saturday job there when I was in the 6th form we used to have a lovely brown and mustard uniform
Sparkle your dd sounds very bright I teach reception and can count on 1 hand the number of children I've had start reading fluently and thats in 20 years smile
Sorry for another question but pâté yes or no ?

Lilymaid Thu 01-Aug-13 12:17:55

Ruby Plan is to tell DS1 and DS2 at about the same time. We decided not to tell them both straight away because we wanted DS2 to enjoy his summer camp after all the problems he had had over the past couple of years since his diagnosis. Also, it is always better to be told face to face. DS1 won't be back in the UK until Christmas, so we shall have to tell him by phone. Difficult for him being 9k miles away and with recent memory of DS2's diagnosis (though DS2 is now bouncing with health due to the wonders of medical science).

jchocchip Thu 01-Aug-13 12:20:02

Chair cover back on, two seater on line after bit of spot cleaning to move marks from grubby w/m seal. blush Working up to 3 seater may have to go to laundrette with that, or just hand wash in bath?...
Ruby yay for fitter and healthier. Mas yay for waitrose. Sparkle lovely to hear news of your dcs. envy terrace and splash pool smile
Ds won't come out of his room and unload dishwasher. I think he is depressed. What should I do?

Gigondas Thu 01-Aug-13 12:38:53

Pâté fine malt.

Have dumped big gig , done first two appointment . Now having luxurious lunch at greek restaurant with a book before some shopping. Am very Defo a lady who lunches wink.

I was told no pate or blue cheese/unpasteurised but have flouted both rules to no ill effect. And yogurt- (pro biotic live) which I really love.
It must seem as though i live in Waitrose....
Greek restaurant -am v envious gig - I could eat some grilled halloumi right now

BetsyBoop Thu 01-Aug-13 12:59:01

malt pate is on the "avoid" list my unit gave me - it's essentially the same as the pregnancy "avoid" list -

mould-ripened cheeses, blue-veined cheeses, unpasturised cheese/milk, undercooked eggs, anything containing raw eggs (some mayo, ice cream etc), pate, raw/under cooked meat/fish, shell fish, probiotic/live yoghurt.

Gigondas Thu 01-Aug-13 13:05:37

That is list that get given but my dietitian (approved by oncologist) was bit more common sense. I think you have to be most careful when on low immunity times but even then some of the advice like no raw fruit or veg was bit extreme .

malteserzz Thu 01-Aug-13 13:27:23

Seems a bit of a grey area, had scrambled egg anyway though bet not as nice as gigs posh lunch smile
Jchoc can you lure him out with something other than the dishwasher ?

Copthallresident Thu 01-Aug-13 13:27:53

It races along here, I can't keep up but great that kitkat is half way through, can't believe how well it is going. I was far from the only one struggling with weird freaky blood on our regime.

ruby i am sure the Macmillan class will be designed to ease you in, and they will be used to people rushing in and out, not like the nazis who usually run those classes in gyms. Being dyslexic I have to avoid any that require you to know your left from your right, or indeed full control of your body, for fear of withering looksgrin Be gentle with yourself at the start. I am sure it feels good to be getting started on getting fitter and healthier.

picture we are all with you on the head tilters.

gigs kalimera, enjoy your Greek idyll. (I am also fluent in the language of gods own Tescogrin )

jchoc you sound very busy. I think I might be hiding in my room for fear of being given a job! Sorry I missed that you had lost a friend, sorry, it's a bugger, that is for sure. Are you worried about your DS beyond an allergy to chores? It can be tough for them growing up these days, so many different sources of stress. I do ban all screens from time to time and make them play with the dog or whatever, do some simple stuff.

malt are your family scientologists? I think you would be doing them a favour if you did help reeducate them about ADs, after all none of us can say we won't experience mental illness (anymore than anyone can say they won't get BC) and won't need more than just help getting coping with a temporary trauma, which is all you would be seeking. It is complacent to say it is something that only happens to other people. What sparkle said is so true.

KK how's the bite? Might some orange help? grin I have loads, because we shop at Waitrose

MAS go for it

Sparkle how lovely for your Dd to be enjoying being curled up with a book. Little Copt didn't grow out of HP induced nightmares until she was about 14 so I think you are right to replace with tales for 5 year olds.

Aagh I am sure I have missed lots, little snippets emerge from the fog of my short term memory for ages after I post. I am sorry for always being so scatty but hugs to all who need it

Pants weather here topsy

Gigondas Thu 01-Aug-13 13:30:18

Tzatziki, Aubergine dip, slow cooked beans and flat bread. Now waiting on iced coffee and baklava.

Gigondas Thu 01-Aug-13 13:31:16

If you hear a distant wailing sound shortly that will be my credit Cards in the shops

grin at brave MAS taking blood tests in her stride.

malt- I too am a teacher, my other dc are very able, so but so far dd2 blows them out of the water in reading. Mind you ds knew all his times table by first term in Yr 1, forwards and backwards. He does them as divisions for fun now. <proud mummy moment, combined with complete terror and ds' maths knowledge means am going to struggle with providing help with homework soon.>

Skies have just cleared here, Staffordshire, and temperature has will be with you soon Topsy!!!!

Got to take whiny dog to vets for a wound check now, back later.

jchocchip Thu 01-Aug-13 13:58:22

Ds has done d/ a crashy sort of way and refused poached eggs for lunch that rest of us had. Its not just chores allergy, it is a year since he crashed out of uni. Dh doesn't like to push him sad Cat has jumped straight back on armchair clean covers 1 minute after reassembly. hmm. Spot cleaned in bath then shoved 3 seater cover in machine to see if it would work. Not much room for water. Dds have gone to leeds for the afternoon. So much for day off...
Mrnextdoor (81)was standing on roof of his shed earlier, yikes. Lovely and hot here breadmaker is on and now to make a cake. Bought sympathy card for friends whose dad/ fil/ grandad died. All the cards are funeral flowers and rather sickly. Want to put something appropriate in it may just make a cake for their dcs. Sorru for ramble. Hope smee is enjoying sun in shed now...

topsyturner Thu 01-Aug-13 14:31:51

S'not bloody pants weather here .
Peeing down for 2nd day in a row !
So much for it being August ...

I am sure the fine weather will reach you soon. Fingers crossed anyway.

Copthallresident Thu 01-Aug-13 15:32:33

jchoc sounds like he needs to find a purpose / his thing. Can you get him to seek some help?

Copthallresident Thu 01-Aug-13 15:34:42

Although sadly the big bad world at the moment makes it hard for them to fulfil their purpose / thing even if they find it. A lot of my friends have DCs now out of uni kicking their heels or in any old job and getting fed up and frustrated sad

kitkat1967 Thu 01-Aug-13 16:44:48

I'm back - 3rd cycle done. Just one wierd thing and that is that my glucose was sky high (and was before 2nd cycle too) - but normal before chemo started. So onc has removed the anti-sickness meds that had steroid in them so i have to cope with just 3 different meds this time (I did still get the steroids in the drip today). Anyway he wittered on diabetes but the nurse said it would be a big co-incidence to develop diabetes straight after 1st chemo and it was probably the steroids so not to panic (no other symptoms). May need to be re-checked once everything is complete.

Have whizzed through everyone's posts but will need to re-read when less zapped - sorry.

Well done kitkat halfway there! for you grin glucose thing sounds weird, hope it's just the steroids nothing troublesome, and I hope you get on okay without them! smile

Exercise class was good, not too easy so didn't feel like a waste of time, but not so difficult I couldn't do it. I think I will ache tomorrow though as far more than I've been doing recently! It was a circuit class so lots of variety and not too much pressure as everyone is busy doing their own thing smile several from my HOPE course were there and also a lovely lady I met in hospital after surgery 2 and also bumped into a few times since.

I've got a Macmillan Move More pack thingy including an activity diary and stickers grin I think I will use it as it will really help motivate me, especially when I can earn a sticker every time I complete a goal grin I think you can get the pack posted to you from their website if anyone else fancies it.

jchoc sad about DS, are any of his friends back from uni for the summer or anything? Obviously you don't want to push him to hard but a bit of a nudge might help smile it's tricky though!

malteserzz Thu 01-Aug-13 18:28:27

Ruby glad it went well smile
Baking hot here have asked dh to pick up some ice lollies on his way home
Taste buds are a bit weird, it's a bit like being pregnant isn't it. I'm struggling to find nice things to drink, had some bottle green cordials but they taste a bit odd and I keep fancying milkshake which I never drink !

malteserzz Thu 01-Aug-13 18:29:08

Forgot to say well done to Kitkat hope for few side effects for you

jchocchip Thu 01-Aug-13 18:41:56

Eek about glucose kitkat- probably just the drug cocktail as they say, unless you have been comfort eating mars bars grin. ( I had to do a gtt after eating a mars bar before ante natal apt oops ).
Exercise and stickers sound good ruby. Thanks copt. He doesn't seem to have picked up with any friends back from uni this year. I think most will have graduated this time
.. He has not been out of his room much today sad He does socialise with his dad a bit but not good at making his own arrangements. He is upset with me as I asked him for over 3 hours on and off to do dw and bin. Would have been much easier to do myself. We did go see worlds end last week as a family but he doesn't really go out on his own sad Would like to get him on part time degree in Sept - just one module would be a start. Or getting provisional and passport and learning to drive and going travelling. Dd1 has done that and is off to uni again in september - place now confirmed for fine art degree at Birmngham City Uni smile I'm rambling again. Friend came and I made coffee cake - have had nice day apart from worry of ds.

trice Thu 01-Aug-13 19:23:42

I have been babysitting for dn today. She is a lovely cuddly giggly thing. I really enjoyed reading "that's not my tractor" to her fifty times, she laughs all the way through as though it is the highest point of literature.

I can't imagine dealing with dcs after university, mine are not even at secondary yet. Neither is particularly gifted (unless you count knowing all the words to horrible histories songs) but they are full of dreams and plans. I would hate to see them disillusioned and dissapointed. It must be heartbreaking jchoc.

kitkat1967 Thu 01-Aug-13 19:33:38

hello again. No, don't think I am eating more sugar than usual but must admit my diet is all over place as I have strange cravings or want nothing and have to force a piece of toast down. Hopefully someone (probably Amber!!) will appear with some facts or experience of this (don't want to hit Dr Google).

Am fed up as quite nauseous again - so not fair sad

malteserzz Thu 01-Aug-13 19:59:19

Jchoc must be hard, at that age you can only do so much
Trice I love those that's not your books. I've had my friends 4 year old over this afternoon who kept me smiling, kids are great
Kitkat boo to the nausea have you got anything else you can take ? Can you try and sleep till it passes ?
Dh went shopping but forgot my ice lollies, he's going back later for them grin
Thanks for all the comments about ADs I do feel a lot better today and have felt better as the days gone on. Sleep or lack of it does seem to make a huge difference to me

kitkat1967 Thu 01-Aug-13 20:17:12

Hi Malt - I think it is at the point you are now that my tiredness goes and I start to feel better so fingers crossed you're on the up and will be in good spirts for the next 2 weeks.

HerNextDoorAt21 Thu 01-Aug-13 20:25:28

Hello all ...... I Am Back from holidays as topsy has --blamed me for getting her drunk--told you. I am now sitting in her living room and SHE is demanding another BOTTLE of wine and a curry with chips (heathen). It is not me who enables her !!!!

kitkat I had to see a dietician last time I was in hospital and I told her I'm not worrying at all about what I'm eating, I just need to get through the chemo with as few problems as possible, and she completely agreed, basically eat anything you want that gives you some energy, doesn't make you sick and helps you cope with the chemo! Then worry about eating healthily later smile have you taken all your anti sickness meds and still feeling sick? If so, definitely phone your team and ask for something else smile

malt milkshakes were one of the things dietician recommended if feeling crap, they're easy to tolerate and full of energy to keep your strength up smile I hope you find something you like soon, it's horrid isn't it when nothing is quite right!

jchoc oh sad poor DS. It sounds like he's really lost his motivation. But he does need to pull his weight around the house so don't feel bad about asking! Maybe if you had a set list of chores for him to do then he would know what he had to do each day, then if he didn't want you to ask him he could just do them on time? Does he have any idea of what he wants to do?

trice your niece sounds lovely smile

Waving to everyone!

Gigondas Thu 01-Aug-13 20:36:30

Welcome back hnd -I am amazed she survived without yougrin.

Trice-it's a good age dn. I enjoy how easy to please mini gig is compared to big gig. Big gig completely done in and spoiled after day out.

Kitkat well done but sugars thing sounds a quirk -steroids do odd thing to you. And agree malt that taste buds do go weird line pregnancy.

Chilling in bedroom as only cool place. Got packing for tesco trip tomorrow which am very excited about . Mr gig reckons op plans may disrupt French tesco trip but not if I can help it .

KurriKurri Thu 01-Aug-13 20:39:21

Evening all - been out most toady. so just catching up on your posts. I did my 14 mile round trip cycle ride this morning, on the return journey I stupidly burdened myself with a rucksack full of tins of dog food (I can only get the sensitive digestion food she has from the pet shop in the nearest town, so thought I'd better pick some up while I was there) but my God it was heavy!! I got sun burned - stupid fool that I am, forgot to put on any sun block, as it was cool when I left the house.

So am red and sweaty and feeling a bit light headed and dehydrated.

Kitkat - odd about the glucose, maybe just a temporary blip - you sometimes get odd things that go a bit haywire on chemo. Pain about the nausea, hope it settles down soon, -what are you taking for it?

Trice - your niece sounds like a little sweetie, - nice that you had a lovely day with her smile

Ruby - glad you enjoyed your exercise class, - bet it was hot though.

jchoc - I sympathise with your worries about DS, I sometimes feel DD is drifting a bit and seems to have no clear plan about what she wants to do now she has her degree. I try to leave her to it and not interfere (as that would only make her dig her heels in and do the exact opposite of anything I suggest!) But it can be very frustrating. I guess they will find their way in their own time.
DD is going to start some voluntary work in September, and is looking forward to it, - would your DS be interested in anything like that? - its all good experience to write on CVs etc.

Copt - you boaster - with your Waitrose shopping grin Watrose won;t deliver to our village as it is full of Norfolk people and therefore highly dangerous

malteserzz Thu 01-Aug-13 20:50:02

Kurri cycling with tins of dog food sounds tough ! Have lots of water and hope you recover soon
Gigs did you buy anything nice today ?
Just had lovely pineapple ice lolly smile

Gigondas Thu 01-Aug-13 20:55:50

14 miles!! Kurri wow. Any news on your mums flat?

Slouchy tops, legging, posh long woolly cardigan-basically just the thing for lounging in from white company. I know it's overpriced but hey.

kurri wow! No wonder you are sweaty and dehydrated. That's a fair old way, especially in this heat and with the tins! shock I am full of admiration. I hope you've recovered now. Exercise class was in an air conditioned studio, thankfully!

Sounds lovely gigs smile

BetsyBoop Thu 01-Aug-13 21:07:14

kitkat I definitely remember reading somewhere that dexamethasone can cause high blood sugar in some people, but it almost always settles down again when you stop taking them, so I guess that's why the onc has cut back on them this cycle. Hope the nausea passes soon, feeling sick is crap sad

malteserzz Thu 01-Aug-13 21:12:37

Does sound lovely gigs, I miss shopping not been for weeks !

Gigondas Thu 01-Aug-13 21:22:26

Internet or plan a good week outing?

malteserzz Thu 01-Aug-13 21:32:54

Will take dd when I feel up to it my chemo talk said go anywhere but try and shop when it's quiet ! Guess not primark on a Saturday then grin
Have made decision to ring nice hair salon in town tomorrow which has a special wig room looks good on the net, if I've got to have one I'm having a good one sod the money !

BetsyBoop Thu 01-Aug-13 21:36:08

Good to hear you sounding a bit more chipper today malt - hopefully a sign you are on the up again this cycle - the first week is definitely the worst.

kitkat1967 Thu 01-Aug-13 21:44:34

KK I am taking the following -

Emend - once a day for 3 days;
Ondansetron - one tablet twice a day for 6 doses;
Domperidone - 2 tablets twice a day (have 30 tablets).

I think the ones they have taken were indeed Dexamethasone.

kitkat1967 Thu 01-Aug-13 21:46:33

Malt - I am currently sat here with grubby hair covered with an 'elasticated bandana' - really comfy and much easier to wear than the wig - have just ordered another off flea-bay.
(no clever tying required - just pull it on).

malteserzz Thu 01-Aug-13 21:48:55

Thanks Betsy I hope so and like you say if it is a low period of the cycle at least dh and I will be ready for it next time and know it