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******The 36th TAMOXIFEN thread******

(1000 Posts)
NedSchneebly Fri 10-May-13 20:02:25

<drags trolley in>

You all out there? Pop this way!

blimey - well done ned !!
Our dog used to mount the cats, usually the wrong way around - was loveable but not the brightest hound.
Please stop me from buying a nice tunic @ Seasalt - have had several glasses of wine at parents - though I'd like something nice for dad's party......

jchocchip Fri 10-May-13 20:12:04

Well done ned we are filling the threads quickly these days!
Marks place.

Gigondas Fri 10-May-13 20:16:38

Am in no position to stop you as surfing for tops.

I love the evolutionary theory Copt. And agree that Enrique is easy on the eye enrique

We are watching the football with sound turned down listening to Julio....

notJenkins Fri 10-May-13 20:36:55

Marking place so I don't lose you

AshokanFarewell Fri 10-May-13 20:37:43

Yay new thread! <dances around wildly>

cop not climbing no, sadly, it was horizontal and not actually greasy just covered in very shiny plastic, two people on at a time then hit each with pillows until one fell off grin brilliant fun! I must suggest it for this year's summer fair.

MAS I'm also in no position to rein in your shopping, I tried to buy a floral waistcoat on eBay blush because one of the musicians on my DVD had one (filmed in mid nineties!) only stopped because it was too big sad you could always wait til the morning and if you still want it, buy it then grin

gigs hope you're enjoying the football/Julio, certainly sounds better than the boring commentary grin

AshokanFarewell Fri 10-May-13 20:39:08

waistcoat blush think I need a slap with a wet fish or something! grin

oh that's v nice ash

topsyturner Fri 10-May-13 20:50:31

Buy it
Buy it
Buy it

<sniggers and runs away>
<falls over as had too much wine>

NedSchneebly Fri 10-May-13 20:52:49

Tis very stylish ash hope you've got the DM boots to go with it grin

Gigondas Fri 10-May-13 21:04:06

I am not sure mid 90s was fashion classic this or that

Still more interesting than football- have now eaten Nutella Chelsea bun( very nice) and decamped to bed. Up early to get hair cut (will be bloke cut as darent risk leaning backwards with stiff neck to wash hair). It's looking a bit mad so needs it.

AshokanFarewell Fri 10-May-13 21:05:20

I'm going to do it grin I've talked to my mum and we think we can take it in a bit if it's too big. I think it'll be quite nice with white t shirt and jeans, I shall wear it at the folk festival we are going to in the summer grin

Maybe I'll wear it to the meet up for topsy's amusement grin

Gigondas Fri 10-May-13 21:08:56

You are allowed- you don't remember them first time round.

NedSchneebly Fri 10-May-13 21:10:11

Ooh, yay! Talk of meet up! Please can we make a plan soooooooooon?! DH works for big multinational brewer (think beer in slim green bottles grin ) and has lots of contacts, could help us sort venue etc.

Gigondas Fri 10-May-13 21:10:39

Topsy, ned or anyone if similar age-any takers for reviving this look retro

NedSchneebly Fri 10-May-13 21:11:16

Thanks for sponsorship gig smile

Gigondas Fri 10-May-13 21:11:46

Yes-will email/pm round as need to find some dates, dies that mean dh could help on suggestions too?

AshokanFarewell Fri 10-May-13 21:12:27

gig pleeeeease tell me you used to dress like that? grin

NedSchneebly Fri 10-May-13 21:13:03

You, me and topsy, gig - I think we could pull it off. . . we'll paint the town red! grin

notJenkins Fri 10-May-13 21:14:04

Yes a plan / date would be good. I have a camper but we won't all fit in it. It does have a fridge though for drinks and snacks ......

NedSchneebly Fri 10-May-13 21:14:42

Definitely gig once we've decided what we want to do, lunch, evening or whatever, I'll tap him up to make some calls and get us a good deal smile

Gigondas Fri 10-May-13 21:15:57

Only on a Friday grin

Just been on to Mn messaging and its way too hard to figure out group email so will go via fb but Mn message those like kurri who aren't in fb. Will try to identify some dates first- then can move onto venues.

NedSchneebly Fri 10-May-13 21:16:46

He did suggest here at least for cocktails!

Gigondas Fri 10-May-13 21:17:08

No probs on sponsorship- also reminded me as one if my best friends doing the moonwalk tomorrow .

Gigondas Fri 10-May-13 21:17:38

I like that idea grin

amberlight Fri 10-May-13 21:35:40

Ooo new thread!!

My goodness you can all talk grin

Absolutely no chance with catching up on all but so glad your appointment went well ned and glad to see you are out of hospital ash

malt hope you are ok - my 'story' dx March 2012 with 1.7 cm Grade 3 invasive ductal cancer. ER+ PR+ HER2+ No nodes involved. I had 8 x FEC chemo, 25 rads and am on Tamoxifen and Herceptin until November. I have had numerous times of blind panic but they are getting less.

DS1 finished school on Wednesday. He only has to go in for GCSEs so we are hoping he gets enough points to get back in.


malteserzz Fri 10-May-13 22:59:22

Am I allowed to join the thread or am I too depressing and annoying ?
In real life I think I'm ok, have been out for a lovely meal with friends with lots of wine, gossip and laughs grin
But you lot and dh seem to get the woe is me part !

Moan away malt I think I won the prize for 'biggest moaner during chemo' [smile

Glad you had a good night out.

malteserzz Fri 10-May-13 23:08:08

Thanks Gracie
What does ds want to do after his gcse s ?
Dd has just chosen her options to start hers and she's waiting to hear if she can do everything she's chosen.

As little as possible probably. He originally wanted to do forensics but now thinks he would like to do geography as 'there are loads of field trips' [hmmm] Mind you he has to get the points first to do A levels. Does your DD have any idea what she wants to do?

malteserzz Sat 11-May-13 00:00:25

Lol at loads of field trips ! I like his attitude ! No she hasn't got a clue apart from not wanting to be a teacher like me or an accountant like dh
I'm trying to make myself tired so I can sleep without a sleeping tablet it's not working.

malteserzz Sat 11-May-13 00:48:36

Still awake!

jchocchip Sat 11-May-13 00:59:55

Just gone to bed - was 10pm when we got here and had to talk a bit! Not quite tired but have boring work book to read which should do it. Will get up for 8am I hope. Have set alarm smile

malteserzz Sat 11-May-13 01:45:00

Hope you're all asleep
Have given up and just had sleeping tablet but am bit pissed off as I could have just taken it at 10 and been asleep for hours!

Gigondas Sat 11-May-13 05:29:42

Staggers in - brew in hand. Was sleeping nicely then was woken by big gig who had been sick. So been trying to sleep and deal with that til dh took over just now.

Malt- You aren't taking over anything malt - you are most welcome . As Gracie says (waves to Gracie), every one of us has had wobbles and freak outs. Thread is here to let us vent. God knows my sleep habits and the truals of the mini gigs not that interesting.

grinAt your ds and field trips - dss sixth form choices were based on least homework too.

jchocchip Sat 11-May-13 07:21:11

Malt, it's because we have all had wobbles and freak outs at dx that this is a safe place for you to have your wobbles in. I joined in thread 12 or 13 I think and had my fair share of wobbles. Now I'm hopefully over the blip and back at work I think I have got my wobbling down to the six monthly checkups and any odd aches and pains in the meantime. Life goes on. I could stop mning or try other boards but aibu and relationships winds me up! I do check into a c25k thread too so my mn isn't just tamoxifen. Sorry I'm rambling. Luffs you all flowers.
I'll put the kettle on and make a brew

jchocchip Sat 11-May-13 07:22:22

Hope sick big gig is feeling better gig.

notJenkins Sat 11-May-13 07:59:55

Hope big gig is ok this morning.

I am having a lazy day and am in bed with the hounds as I have hideous back pain. Not sure if my hormones are being affected by my artificial metabolism as I only had this type of pain hormone related before and having it more since my op. trip to the GP in order if it does not go away.

malt feel free to moan and wobble away. I was the biggest moaner and was terrified before my op and got a huge amount of support here. I was dx just before Xmas and everyone else having fun and being all jolly made me feel worse ! You are going through a very traumatic time is is entirely normal to worry.

Bright sunshine here. Throwing croissants on the trolley.

AshokanFarewell Sat 11-May-13 08:00:58

Morning all,

I'm feeling a bit sorry for myself, I think I may have a bowel obstruction but none of the bowel or oncology people are around at weekends so I'm going to have to phone the out of hours GP I think sad

I hope big gig is feeling better this morning gigs and that you all managed to get some more sleep.

jchoc any plans for today?

malt hope you slept well

notJenkins Sat 11-May-13 08:29:16

Oh ash that sounds horrible. My gran had several bowel obstructions after her surgery and they are medical emergencies and not fun at all. You need to get seen ASAP.

malteserzz Sat 11-May-13 08:38:13

Thank you all
Gigs hope big gig is better this morning ?
Jchoc I do like AIBU for a distraction when I need to think about something else, feel like putting get a grip many times!
NotJ sorry about your back can you take anything for it for try a hot water bottle ? Hope it eases soon
Ash hope you get it sorted hope you have rang the GP. You feel as sorry for yourself as you like and we will listen and stroke your brow

GP, mum, friends all worried if I take a sleeping tablet every night I'll get addicted. For me I can't see that it matters in the scheme of things . They don't see me wide awake and panicking in the middle of the night.

Still in bed have promised to take dd shopping later so will be a trip to primark x

notJenkins Sat 11-May-13 09:04:35

I used to listen to a sleep meditation app to get me to sleep. It used to really work when my mind was whirring and the panic setting in.

malt definitely try some meditation techniques in bed,preferably listening to a meditation cd of app. - honestly they work,I used to fall asleep when doing a body scan meditation (you aren't meant to,but I always did- I used to get to my chest I think and never heard the bits about the rest of the body) Mindfulness breathing might help, just concentrating on the rhythm of your breath and dismissing any thoughts which come into your mind,imagining them as clouds passing by in the sky.
ash hope you are ok and can get gp today - take care lovely xxx

My plan is to go to town,catch the bank, wash the floor and then carry on with drawing and stuff for my website,plus ironing and washing.

A thought- was lying on my hip again last night and it really aches, am trying to think about when it started (certainly post original diagnosis) Gps have in the past reckoned it was arthritis in the joint- wear and tear- but might it be something worse ? Oncy understudy said last time that CTs don't show bone stuff very well. Didn't mention it this time, just the odd heaviness in my chest which I can never describe very well because it's not a pain, just a feeling. I feel foolish,as if I'm sort of looking for trouble or imagining stuff.

hope big gig is ok xx

NedSchneebly Sat 11-May-13 09:23:51

Morning all smile

malt my GP put me on Trazadone, which is an antidepressant with sedative properties, so effectively AD and sleeping pill in one. They're great, non-addictive, according to GP, and bloody good at helping m sleep. I've been on them 14 months and can highly recommend. Sleep deprivation is dire, and makes everything seem worse. With a good night's sleep you at least have a fighting chance of getting through the day and coping with it all. Be kind to yourself, and do whatever you need to do x x x

gig how's the house of sickness this morning? Hope biggig perking up and you got some more sleep, or at least some rest.

ash get thee to a doc, lovely. Hope you can get sorted.

NJ you going to docs too, love? Hope you feel better soon.

Waves to all. Got kettle on o brew anyone?

NedSchneebly Sat 11-May-13 09:26:36

X post mas must be a worry for you, love. Can you email BCN and ask her? Might be something they can investigate for you? Thinking of you x x

thanks ned -I just worry about being a nuisance and that it's just arthritis or in my head

malteserzz Sat 11-May-13 09:30:11

Thanks all MAS I guess if it's something you've been thinking about its worth getting checked out just for peace of mind ?
I've just downloaded a sleep app thanks will give it a try ! Will discuss if with the GP if it doesn't improve

Is there anything special I need to buy for my lumpectomy? They said a good supporting bra, like a sports one ?

trice Sat 11-May-13 09:43:39

I did laugh (blackly) when I was watching that nhs in a day programme and they showed that nice oncology nurse with the rockabilly hair do. She said that she had been to her gp almost every other week since starting in oncology with worries and niggles. Cancer takes away your feeling of safety. Stupid disease.

Mas, are you are going to worry about it until you get it checked? If so then go and get it checked. It is probably nothing sinister but if it hurts it needs treatment.

I slept well last night and so am a little less crazy.

Ash, you are quite right to feel sorry for yourself, it sounds dreadfully uncomfortable. I hope you get sorted out soon.

I find weekends to be very inconvenient when I am ill. I don't understand why hospital have to shut down to the extent they do. It's bloody annoying. (when I am not poorly I do acknowledge the right to a family life for health care professionals).

coorong Sat 11-May-13 10:10:08

Morning all - lovely lie - I do like Saturdays -
malt my BC recommended magic bras from Eden house which may be overkill, but I'm still wearing them and they're incredibly comfortable.

The pre-op check was interesting. I saw a nurse and house officer - both nice. They did all the usual checks - including the pulse in my foot! Ask them what to expect when you wake up, whether there'll be any tubes coming out, where it might hurt etc and how long they usually keep you in for. lumpectomires on my ward were day / overnightnpatients depending on time of op, nature of op etc. but for me knowing what to expect made a huge difference.

I just took an iPod with dozens of old radio 4 podcasts on it - but I was in 5 days. I've since used the podcasts to help me sleep - particularly "in our time" Melvyn bragg's voice is so sophoripic

Hope You get sorted ash and that min gigs is better.

My daughters are in the bath (yes we do morning ablutions) singing we will rock you and soaking the bathroom floor - looks like cross mummy is about to rear her. Ugly head

Gigondas Sat 11-May-13 11:22:53

Another vote for mindfulness , sleep apps and tranquil reading/podcasts. doubt you will get addicted In a week.

Mas-get it checked out or ask. Am a bit hmm about bone mets and ct as track mine just fine on ct . plus you have to have a fairly hearty met for it to hurt so should see it (unless they don't scan that bit like on my neck so worth asking).

Big gig not been sick but asleep now and washed out- i am going to have rest too before my sis arrives. Had hair cut to tidy it- it looks very short so was bit hmm about it.may try and grow it a little more so not quite so boyish. That said I don't think tiredness does much for any judgment.

Have nice cheese (incl Brie) for trolley.

sandripples Sat 11-May-13 11:26:19

Gracie - my DS chose Biology A-level (along with maths and 2 other sciences) ONLY because that course had run an exotic trip in the final summer, for the last few years -it was research and connected with a university department and would be to Vietnam, or Central America.... well guess what his was the first year they didn't offer the trip - what a disappointment. However he got an A* in it so no harm done. (Except he now finds further maths would have been helpful for his degree)
I was rather relived financially....

MAS - get that ache checked out please, if only to put your mind at rest. I can certainly imagine that every ache or even niggle will be a worry.

Gigondas Sat 11-May-13 11:26:23

That was meant to reassure mas. I think more likely an ache but it is hard not to worry.

malteserzz Sat 11-May-13 11:27:15

Truce glad you slept better x

Coorong thanks for the link they look like just the kind of thing I need. Will I need front fastening tops to wear for a bit afterwards too? I'm thinking it might hurt to pull things over your head ?

gig boyish suits you,meaning that you don't look like a boy,but are v gamine so it's looks intentional.
I used to think the hip pain was tamoxifen connected (so it's been round a while) but bcn said not. I will keep an eye and ask next time, but am not unduly fretting. I think my scan went as far as uterus,so that should include hips I'd think.

I just had M&S sports bras,though not the hefty multi sport serious ones...
I think carefully putting clothes on and returning to regular movements,such as stretching to reach things, cleaning the shower etc asap was the very best exercise as it got everything back to normal really quickly - I suspect I am reasonably tolerant of pain as I wasn't very aware of it, just sore more than anything.

sandripples Sat 11-May-13 12:00:58

I made the mistake of buying one of those hefty sports bras - still got it- ghastly!

smee Sat 11-May-13 12:01:15

How did you get to page 3 you gossipy lot?! shock

Ash, hope you called GP?? Sounds grim, go get checked.

NotJ, hormones probably are all over the place. Bed and croissants sounds mighty sensible. smile

Malt, whatever gets you through now, go for. Hope Primark comes up with the goods for DD. You could look in Primary for those gym type crop tops - sort of like boob tubes - that's what I wore after my op. Still got my Primark one, v.comfy. You'll definitely need button up pyjamas for hospital - v.important, as you don't want to have to take anything off over your head and buttons make it v.easy for medics to check wound, etc.

MAS, I think you should mention hip pain to them too. Pain in the night's never good. I'd bet it's arthritis, but they might be able to help get rid of the pain if they know what it is.

Hope big-Gig sleeping now doesn't mean she'll be up all night, Gig. Have fun with your sis.

DH has taken DS and one of his friends out, so yay I have the house to myself. brew anyone?

Copthallresident Sat 11-May-13 12:04:19

Big Copt chose Maths and Sciences because she is a geek grin only trip was counting worms on a rainy welsh hillside . Little Copt is dyslexic and chose History, English , Philosophy and Psychology shock. She has been a little essay factory this year 5 or 6 a week. She is in full panic mode now as she struggles to learn it all, she has worked hard but up at 2am with full panic attack. Off to see hypnotherapist who has helped her relax before. Of course they are so much easier than in our day NOT. If she had stayed at old school she would have gone to China with History trip but lots left because of group of attention seeking madams in year, and trip isn't running this year probably at prospect of being responsible for gang of binge drinking drug taking sluts (factual not bitchy, more shocking tales for meet up) in Beijing though Communist jail probably what they need.

Ash hope you have got some help, don't hold back from making a fuss,it is really important they check it out. Friend had several during chemo.

mas put it into paranoia box until can get it checked out?

malt I have experience of the addictive ness of those sleeping pills as Dh given them to get over crisis at work ( a previous one) and when they refused him more he stole mine hmm it took him a while to re establish his sleep patterns. I did find the visioning helpful with my 4am demons, imagining what I'd be doing after treatment, or a gang of very handsome heroes , not necessarily orange racing around my body wiping out the mindless idiots ugly misshapen cancer cells. Think of something meaningful for you, that makes you feel good and imagine your way into that space, don't let cancer put you into a horrible place. I also did the relaxation exercise where you clench everything up tight from the tips of your fingers and toes to your jaw and then slowly relax each bit of your body in turn really focusing on making that part of your body totally relaxed.

Have to go but will bring back cake .

Copthallresident Sat 11-May-13 12:05:58

Gigs hope big gigs better

<waves madly back to gigs> hope there is no more sickness in the house of gigs.

mas not sure if you remember the problems I had after CT scans as they had showed up the query of bone mets on my spine so not sure why dr says CTs don't show up bones. I would certainly mention it, if only to satisfy yourself.

malt my nurses always suggest Zopiclone (sp) as they are non-addictive. I'm on Amitriptylline for nerve pain which seems to help me sleep as well.

sand at the moment DS's A level choices are Biology, Geography and RE which he hopes will keep his option open. A* wow - we are just hoping for a pass at the moment smile

Going out tonight to see some friends and have a Chinese. I would rather curl up on the sofa.

AshokanFarewell Sat 11-May-13 13:21:17

Have read but can't reply to all now. Am back in A&E. Had painkillers and fluids now feeling a bit better but still painful, waiting for X-ray I think, eek. Trying to not think about possibility of it being the cancer hoping just a standard complication of the surgery smile have a lovely day everyone x

Copthallresident Sat 11-May-13 13:37:04

Big hug ash Back in the cupboard? Given they have removed the Cancer and you are having chemo it sounds far far more likely to be a side effect of the surgery. Hope they sort you out soon.

smee Sat 11-May-13 13:42:16

Oh no, Ash.. Agree with Copt, v.v.unlikely to be cancer. Hope they can help and you're home soon. xx

Gracie, what will DS do if he doesn't get the grades. Will he re-sit? I'm out tonight and would prefer the sofa too.. grin

Copthallresident Sat 11-May-13 13:52:22

Gracie Little Copt enjoyed Religion and ethics at GCSE and thought she would want to do it at uni but is going to drop it at AS, it is called Philosophy of Religion? because it isn't what she thought it was, too much regurgitating of philosophical approaches and very little chance to develop your own opinions, may be the way she has been taught but has DS had taster lessons to make sure it is what he thinks it is? Or is RE a different A level? in which case ignore me wink

Big Copts friends enjoyed Geography, several doing it at uni, and Biology definitely the Science that was easiest to do well in for the ones who were mixing it with humanities (a lot of unis count Geography as a Science as well )

Copthallresident Sat 11-May-13 14:19:37

My sleeping pills are zoplicone and they have big warning in capital letters on packet that they are additive confused I might not be so reluctant to take them if they really aren't. Just googled "initially thought to be less addictive and/or habit forming than benzodiazepines. However, this appraisal has shifted somewhat in the last few years as cases of addiction and habituation have been presented. It is recommended that zopiclone be taken on a short-term basis, usually a week or less.[2] Daily or continuous use of the drug is not usually advised.[3]"

Just throwing Reuben's special today on the trolley, blueberry and hazelnut tea loaf. YUM. Get down there quick gigs was big queue at lunchtime, and he now seems to have two more mad looking Italians working there, six staff baking and serving grin

I'll add a Waitrose Victoria sponge to the trolley...
Oh ash you poor love- am sure it's surgical stuff rather than anything more sinister, but horrid for you xxx
I will speak to onc next time -I should have him -they seem to do alternate appts.,sometimes understudy 2 times,then onc himself - she is very good but I suppose I feel I find him more direct. Really am not worrying too much.
Am baby bird minding tomorrow- neighbours have rescued a baby rook and he needs feeding every 2 hours but they have to go out tomorrow,so I shall be feeding him with a teaspoon and cat food - he relly shrieks for food and then goes to sleep when he's had enough.

topsyturner Sat 11-May-13 14:57:53

Afternoon All

Just a quick update from tesco car park .
Was mental in there !
Off to another fecking garden centre now , think DH has an addiction ...

Hugs to Ash for being back in the cupboard hmm
It's going to be side effects , not cancer . But I will sit on the box for you till they tell you so .

Right , off on my travels I go .
Later Lovelies x

trice Sat 11-May-13 15:48:28

Garden centre will be packed today, I don't envy you Topsy.

malteserzz Sat 11-May-13 16:07:51

Hugs ash hope you get sorted out quickly
Had a lovely afternoon shopping with dd, think we had the best deal as its pouring and freezing and dh and ds are at a football tournament !
Got her shoes and bag for the prom she's just tried it all on together with her dress and she looks lovely
Today is a good day smile
Maybe I ought to try harder to get to sleep without the pills then will try the apps tonight though I have a feeling dh and I might just lie there laughing !

ash hope you get seen quickly. Hopefully it is another delightful side effect of the chemo. I will park my large posterior on the box beside topsy for you.

Oops copt shows what my nurse knows. Glad I didn't get Zopiclone now. DH has always suffered insomnia, more so since my dx and the GP gave him one week's supply of sleeping tablets (not sure what) but even those haven't worked. Is A level RE completely different from GCSE then? He is enjoying his GCSE course but not sure if he realises what is involved in the A level.

smee We are really hoping for no re-sits but going by his mock results we may have to go down that route. He was always an A/B, mock results were B/C with a few Ds for good measure. Hoping that was just a blip.

malt glad you are having a better day.

Aw I just love baby birds mas we always have a couple of nests in our garden, unfortunately this also means we have to lift some dead baby birds that haven't made it. We have to ban the dog from the garden as he would probably think it was lunch.

Waving to trice, kurri, ned and anyone else lurking.

malteserzz Sat 11-May-13 17:43:58

Just seen the most beautiful rainbow smile

MrGigs Sat 11-May-13 19:54:30

Best wishes to Ash, she's a gem.
In the meantime I've been dealing with Gigs on her one pub pub crawl, ok she drank lemonade but we didn't and we still had to look after her... And she did more than nine pints for a free one for her sis, bil and I...
Julio Iglesias on the stereo, he could teach your various DH's so much...waltzes off around the kitchen Gigs sorts the cheese...

mrgigs are you a bit tipsy ? I saw evidence of pub crawl on fb...

Gigondas Sat 11-May-13 20:19:15

grin I think that may be the case mas.

MrGigs Sat 11-May-13 20:22:45

Truth is MAS yes, but it's early in the evening and your ladies need some provocation to get them fighting, and don't we love them...

coorong Sat 11-May-13 20:46:24

placing carefully some home made cherry ripe on the trolley outrageous recipe - the result of "indoor activities" DH did with the girls - looking forward to scoffing left overs tomorrow

smee Sat 11-May-13 20:49:40

Waving to Mr Gigs on his weekly -drunken-- visit. grin Gigs hope you get all the cheese. Seems reasonable if you were on the lemonade..

Any news from Ash, is she home??

Gracie, did the switch to lower grades motivate him to actually do some revision. Hope chinese was tasty. smile

MAS, I'd freak at the idea of feeding a crow. shock Birds are very much my room 101. Really couldn't go there. Daft cat managed to swat a Jay not long ago and then didn't know what to do with it. Think we were both mighty glad when it flew off. confused

Malt, glad to hear Primark came up with the goods for DD. The rainbow's a sign either of too much wine, or of good things to come, or maybe even both? grin

Am back from the pub. Friend had sleepless night with her baby last night, so I poured wine down her, now home for more. Am about to order take away. smile

Gigondas Sat 11-May-13 21:01:13

Rainbow definitely a good omen malt.

Ash- sending you love and positive vibes with arse firmly on paranoia box for you.

Am with smee about being bit eek on baby birds. But I think wine will help with new baby.

I have had cheese, got cake (yes it's the yum Reuben's one) and choclit and watching the voice. Big gig appears better (wouldn't have gone to pub) so hoping no nocturnal fun.

Thanks for all the messages on meet up and ESP ideas - am reading all and will update when less done in.

NedSchneebly Sat 11-May-13 21:07:58

Did you get through all nine pints to get your free one thn, mrgigs? It out appear so. . .

Gigondas Sat 11-May-13 21:09:31

Yes ned and think there may even have been a new card started after I

NedSchneebly Sat 11-May-13 21:11:54

"Would" appear so. . . Bloody ipad, and I've only had one glass. . .

NedSchneebly Sat 11-May-13 21:12:43

grin gig

MrGigs Sat 11-May-13 21:14:25

Ned, yes but to be clear I had some help from Gig's old soak sis and her bf, plus there were a few free stamps given our way due to Mr Gigs charming ways...nevertheless my senses are a little awry

NedSchneebly Sat 11-May-13 21:16:17

Excuses, excuses, excuses mrgigs. Clearly your charm was your undoing. grin

AshokanFarewell Sat 11-May-13 21:32:11

Hello lovely ladies, and MrGigs, thank you for paranoia box duties. Obviously worked as not cancer and not a full blockage, bowel has just slowed itself down in protest! After spending most of the day writhing in pain I have had a lovely sleep and pain down to just annoying. Have read all your posts but after much tramadol and morphine am a little woozy so I shan't even attempt to reply to anyone for now. Have a lovely evening, goodnight smile ps not in cupboard this time! xxx

notJenkins Sat 11-May-13 21:34:13

Great news ash hope you get a good sleep tonight.

Hope there are no sore heads in the gigs household tomorrow grin

Gigondas Sat 11-May-13 21:34:42

That's good they know what it is- tucking you in and wishing you a lovely morphine sleep ash.

trice Sat 11-May-13 21:44:40

Glad that is sorted for now Ash. Hope you manage a peaceful night.

I am waving my eleven year old ds off on his french residential. It is only five days but I will miss him. I can't believe how grown up he has become. I am green with envy that he is going to euro disney without me!

Gigondas Sat 11-May-13 21:45:43

Aw- trice that will be lovely for him.

malteserzz Sat 11-May-13 21:46:15

Ash thats good to hear hope you have a good sleep x

I hate the nights but will try a sleep meditation app tonight to see if that helps. Need to stop my mind racing.

Enjoy the rest of the evening everyone

malteserzz Sat 11-May-13 21:47:22

Trice I hope he has a brilliant time !

MrGigs Sat 11-May-13 22:13:38

Good to hear you're ok Ash...
Gigs is feeding me diluted fruit juices to try to dull the inevitable hangover tomorrow..but we know that MiniGigs takes no prisoners in the early hours and targets MrGigs for room service with no mercy.

MrGigs is v grateful that Gigs was the receptacle/target for bigGigs vomiting sesh this morning and feels guilty that he was comatose when it all kicked off shortly after midnight (and pretended to remain so when woken by the splattering noises). Luckily I know you lot won't make me feel bad about that and I can share such confidences with you...

topsyturner Sat 11-May-13 23:20:22

<runs straight to Gigs and grasses up *Mr Gigs*>

topsyturner Sat 11-May-13 23:22:56

Am in car on way home from friends house .
Had such a fun time .
We all armed ourselves with nerf pistols and did battle !
<also drank entire bottle of rosé>

Ash sweet dreams lovely x

smee Sat 11-May-13 23:47:56

Yay for you, Ash. Sweet dreams on drugs. smile

Topsy, I lurve nerf battles. Bet I could take you on. <dons holster ready> grin

Gig, it's MR GIG'S TURN TONIGHT. My DH v.good at sleeping through splattering noises too...

Trice, hope DS has a fab time. That is v.grown up. French france and without you. smile

Night all. Hope wine helps everyone sleep. smile

malteserzz Sun 12-May-13 06:00:59

Another rubbish night here hmm

malteserzz Sun 12-May-13 06:55:56

Been awake most of the night worrying. Is it not better to take a tablet and get a good nights sleep ? Im worried about dying surely getting addicted doesn't really matter ? But maybe the doctor won't give me any more after this lot then I would be in trouble. Should I take them or not ? Take 1 every other night ? Just give up on sleep for now ?
Feel knackered and scared and not coping very well
Still got 3 weeks and 2 days till my op then 2 weeks after that to get the results then more waiting it just seems too much
Sorry to go on but dh is asleep lucky him
I did the meditation app and soothing pillow spray but nothing helped
It's just crap

Gigondas Sun 12-May-13 07:35:01

Malt- I am so sorry that you had another crap night. I know it's been said before but IT is early days and sleeplessness doesn't help.

Fwiw this is what I would do:
Make a Gp appt ( if necessary do ooh as I think you don't want to spend another night) . I would ask about anxiety tabs ( Valium ) as stop gap to take edge off this and anti ds ( as others like ned have said these help and tend to fix sleep to).

Carry on with all the insomnia stuff ( sleep apps, get up if cant sleep rather then fester).

Try and keep as busy as you can even tho may feel like wounded animal as maybe best to avoid time to dwell and worry. I know you still will but it is not helpful.

And the death thing is horrible - it eats you up ( it is part of mt worrying pattern too at low moments).

Topsy- nerf guns sound great (ESP impressed if can handle that and wine at same time).

Wish had eye roll emoticon about dh and sick wink. Mercifully had good night so hoping that is last of it.

brew All? Big gig seems well enough for party so will shop and get brew while she is there--and avoid alpha mums.-- what is Everyone else up to?

Gigondas Sun 12-May-13 07:35:39

Also if have more sleeping tabs take one- the habit issue is secondary I think for now .

notJenkins Sun 12-May-13 08:03:28

Sorry to hear you had another bad night malt it is really rubbish this cancer malarkey.
It may sound really odd but when I was having the sleep problems and anxiety I heard about a friend of a friend who fell over at the beach and died a couple of days before Xmas. She was only in her early 50s and it made me realise that anything could happen at any time and with cancer it is likely to be dealt with and life will carry on. I have a friend with cancer and she also admitted to thinking that too when she hears stories of fatal car crashes / murders etc. I don't know why it helped me and it may not help you. I also used to look at elderly people and feel jealous that they had made it to old age !
The mind does strange things under stress and when your op is over it will get better.
Gigs has given you some really good advice.

I still have a bad back and am now worried about work. If I have to take more time off I will be down to half pay which will be a disaster. I will need at least 2 weeks off for my scan in September as my metabloism will be mucked around with again. Hopefully I can just get in with it next week and it will go away.

We have nerf wars in this house and my dh went and bought himself a gun to play with.

malteserzz Sun 12-May-13 09:43:39

Thanks both it does help to let it out when everyone's asleep, you do make me feel a bit more normal too I've also been feeling jealous of old people ! And got quite emotional at the end of the cup final as people were so happy and I thought why can't I be like that ? The death thing is eating me up sometimes it's the thought of leaving my kids and husband. I feel guilty that they're going through this too. I feel like its somehow my fault, we've had a lovely life up to now and I feel like I'm paying for it sometimes. I don't feel like that about you lot or anyone else with cancer so I know that's irrational.
The days I can cope with as everything keeps me busy, I still don't know whether to just take the tablets every night I'll see. We did sleep till 9 so that was good I've had a few hours
Glad big gig is ok smile
Nj hope your back gets better seems unfair you'd have to go to half pay

Not much planned here today , dd will be in bed all morning. Ds will be watching tv and out with his friends and dh gardening. I'll be pottering !
Have a good day and thankssmile

Gigondas Sun 12-May-13 10:47:42

Am nodding with both Nj and your post as have felt the envy of old people. I get irrationally unsympathetic about some posts on here about 86 year old with cancer (which is horrid as of course it's sad) thinking they have had a life and raised their kids.

I also feel much worse for what my kids and dh than for me -I am glad it's me not them but sorry for all the pain and hassle it causes.

The suddenness of death (and fact or will happen to everyone) is true. Think we all know of someone touched by a sudden loss.

You will find you are happy again but it takes time .

Think need more brew before I argue with big gig about party outfit (it's a sport theme party so not meant to have party dresses).

sandripples Sun 12-May-13 10:53:13

Yay for Ash!

Malt - I'm sorry about you not able to sleep. When I was first diagnosed I certainly experienced the thoughts, and feelings others have mentioned and didn't think I'd see my DS to university etc. (He was 15-16 at the time).

I still think keeping very busy, using distraction and exercise all help, but if the sleep doesn't improve you do need to contact your BC nurse or GP and talk it over.

I think as the first few weeks progressed I learned;
a) - not to assume the worst. The stats are very strongly weighted in our/your favour - more and more so all the time;
b) - not to try to work out all the different horrible scenarios - that's what could have sent me insane. So I just tried always to deal with what was known, not all the other possibilities. This is hard, as you get to know things about your individual condition a bit at a time, but it really helps if you can learn to think that way
c) I tended to wake very early - I just got up and started the day as I didn't want to lie there worrying
d) - think who your 'team ' is. I chose 2 friends who'd been through BC and asked them if they'd be my support. They were invaulable, as well as this thread
e) Stay away from any friends or family with a tendency to catastrophise. You're training yourself not to do this and you don't need the comments of people in the catastrophe frame of mind. Some of them are very well meaning but just not helpful at all! Identify practical people for your team and communicate with them - if people offer help have something they could do eg go for a walk with you, look after the Dcs for an hour, pick ups from school, lifts to hospital. A few wonderful people won't even ask - they might just turn up at the door with a home made meal for the family! personally I was amazed at how people rallied - not necessarily in the immediate few weeks but this thing takes months and some people were such stars of support without making a big deal of it.
f) I could control who I wanted to talk to, even inform at all, about the whole thing. For a couple of circles of people (eg work) I chose a person I trusted and asked them to pass on news from me - so that I didn't have to tell people everything all the time.

But in the early days its so hard, and your BC nurse will be able to offer support I think. I recall that I couldn't relax to read anything for weeks - normally reading is a great thing for me- I read for at least half an hour a day. Eventually (after about 6 weeks) I managed to focus on some short stories and then gradually started to enjoy reading again. I'm not suggesting you try to read, but this was an indicator for me of making a bit of progress in being able to relax IYSWIM

I suspect the clearing out cupboards syndrome reflects this inability to relax/trying to get things under control - I have another friend who's had a lot of health problems and she clears up before each operation!
(I'm usually rather a slut as far as house-work is concerned so at least having tidy cupboards was a good side effect!)

amberlight Sun 12-May-13 10:57:17

Ooo, DS is 20 but I was still hoping to live to see him enjoy adult life blush

malteserzz Sun 12-May-13 11:24:40

Thank you lots of sense there and I'm nodding along reading
I know I do tend to assume the worse and apart from this thread I'm really trying not to look at other cancer sites as its just too scary. I know the odds are in our favour and I know people who have got over this but till I get the full results I'm still thinking the very worst about my situation
The waiting is awful I should try and think 1 day at a time I know.
I did think there would be a bit more support, dh says its probably something you have to look for if you want it, I rang breast cancer care last week and she was very nice if a bit wishy washy.
Going to wash my hair and go out for a walk I think
You are all lovely smile

topsyturner Sun 12-May-13 11:59:50

Morning All

DH and the DC are off to granny's .
I have decided to stay home today .
I have a slight case of the trots !
Tmi ???

Ash hope you are doing better today .
Malt we've all said that the very worst part of cancer , is all the bloody waiting around for results that we have to do !
Trice I hope you are feeling a little more positive today . If not , feel free to wallow on here . You have every right !
Gigs , how is Mr Gigs today ?
Think I should post you one of my new nerf guns .....

Going to make a big mug of hot chocolate and watch crap on tv for a couple of hours .
Quite damp here today , so no encouragement needed to stay in my pjs smile

definitely do as gig advises and sr's thoughts too - this awful time will pass and things will feel better soon,might not seem as though it will,but it does. I think for now sleeping is v important for you to get sorted, so I think whatever it takes is the best thing. And keep on with the Mindfulness/meditation as this will help you,but you do need to give it a little time and practice. There's a 5 seconds Mindfulness exercise you can do whenever you feel overwhelmed - just stop and follow your breathing gently in and out for a few complete breaths -it helps you break the pattern and brings you back to the present moment.
Ash - hooray for you xxx
Am off to feed the baby rook....

Copthallresident Sun 12-May-13 12:29:33

Also nodding along

I have been thinking that whilst I remember going for a walk and enjoying some sunshine and natural beauty made me realise quite early on that I could be happy again, and your rainbow post last night made me smile, I was still struggling to cope with the unbidden horrible thoughts at 4am well into my chemo, indeed still do on occasion. Why is it that something that you can cope with in the light of day takes on an unbearable weight at 4am? We have all experienced what you are experiencing. Sleeping pills may help you cope in the short term but you should see your GP and get whatever support you need to find coping strategies that work for you longer term, anti ds, mindfulness, visioning etc.

I also agree that it helps to develop an acceptance that shit happens, and that actually there is worse shit than Cancer. I am afraid you do become a bit hardened, I have struggled a bit with my parents grief, their circle of friends have all made it to their late seventies but they have recently lost three friends, and though I know the gap people leave doesn't get any smaller, I wasn't able to resist pointing out I had lost two of my closest friends, and faced a life threatening illness by 45.

I have also come to a point where I don't worry about what hasn't happened yet, obviously there are high points of anxiety like scans etc when it is harder to keep those thoughts in the box but dwelling on the worst doesn't get you anywhere but make you unhappy. I used to superstitiously think if I didn't think the worst it would tempt fate and it would happen but I can say authoritatively that you can refuse to think the worst and it can not happen grin Indeed whatever rubbish you have conjured up in your mind beforehand has absolutely no bearing on what actually happens . Perhaps Amber has some statistics on it, come to think of it there are statistics on how burying your head in the sand and being in denial has no impact on your outcome so it is scientifically proven!!

Having said that I do think it helps to get your thoughts about death out in the open and really think them through, we have a lot of fear about death in our society, the more so because it isn't talked about. My friends and I did feel it was a lot less scary once , as we put it, we had looked over the cliff at the reality rather than a fear of the unseen. The problem is you can't have those sorts of conversations with family or friends, it would be too painful for them, so you can only do it with a Councillor BCN or support group.

Woah that was a bit of an emotional marathon.

Complete exam hell here, Big Copt on phone panicing and Little Copt hyperventilating, only me going out and getting her M&S sausage pasta will help apparently ......

Gracie Re mock marks, following last year GCSE fiasco which shafted little Copts English Lit mark (part of reason for anxiety, A* for coursework which accounted for 40% and predicted A* she and 23 others predicted A* given Bs, as gigs will testify it couldn't have been the school's fault, it is good school confused) I think the teachers are just not knowing what the examiners have in store for this year and are being very conservative. Good thing is colleges and unis know it is a fiasco, within 24 hours of the results coming out all those conditional grades were tumbling and academic school accepted little Copt to do Eng Lit A level even though said she had to have an A.

I agree copt - shit happens and I don't think there's any point in thinking 'why me' when why should it be anyone else either. And in a weird way I don't really fear death - it may be that I have a very warped view of my life and in a way my battles (and you can say that about mental illness because you do have to fight) wiTh ocd at it's very worst made me long to not be here -I used to not want to wake up to face the sheer relentless hell of it. Also not sure how experiencing my brother's death might have affected how I see the whole thing. Apologies if it's all a bit bleak or heavy - am not a nutjob,honestly. I live a pretty joyful life and love it.

malteserzz Sun 12-May-13 13:12:41

I think I'm struggling too because this is the 1st major trauma we've had to face we've both got our parents still who are fit and well. We met when we were young had no problems in our marriage etc the kids are fine it's just knocked us for six really.
Yes to just thinking about now rather than the future I find that hard
I am taking in all that you're saying even if I don't reply to it all I do appreciate it x

AshokanFarewell Sun 12-May-13 13:16:59

Hope you can get more sleeping tablets or similar sorted out malt my GP gave me diazepam when I was first diagnosed as thought I'd be anxious but I've never used them as I am probably still quite in denial about it all. I've had much success with various meditation apps and hypnotherapy type things when I had sleep problems in the past. Headspace is quite good and free app, mindfulness meditation which can really help with anxiety. Also I have sleep phones which are earphones inside a fleecy headband so can sleep with them on, I listen to app and then fall asleep then just wriggle out of them in the night smile

MAS how did it go with the rook?

topsy hope you feel better soon smile not TMI at all. Or at least if it is I'm guilty of a lot worse!

cop hope the exam stress improves soon - when do exams start or have they already? I hope the sausage pasta helps.

I'm feeling much better, nearly pain-free and things sorting themselves out so I might be allowed home today grin otherwise not a problem as am happy to be here this time, this is where the drugs are!

Copthallresident Sun 12-May-13 13:27:10

MAS Don't apologise, that is the problem, we think we shouldn't talk about it, it is macabre, bleak, heavy, yet it is everywhere and comes to us all one way or another. I do agree mental illness can be one of the worse shits than Cancer. I have certainly felt that my Cancer was a walk in the park compared to my friend's manic depression. She has very similar odds to the ones faced by me but in her case it will be that she has taken her own life because she feels it is so hopeless (and she has already tried twice) and yet whilst people still come up to me head tilted and ask How ARE you? and tell me how "strong" I was, they avoid her, and judge her as if it were her, and not the chemicals in her brain sparking off a set of absolutely typical symptoms.

Copthallresident Sun 12-May-13 13:39:47

Ash Glad you are feeling better and have drugs grin Big Copts started last week, little Copt has six hours of Philosophy tomorrow, sausage pasta and some amazing multicolour mind maps seem to be helping.

I will be so glad to get to 6 June.

sandripples Sun 12-May-13 13:40:26

Yes, mental health problems cause a huge lot of shit for people, I agree.

Each of us is individual and we rarely know what's coming round the corner, so all the more reason to try to enjoy and love life, as MAS says.

I think its funny that I had a sort of unconscious life plan in my head pre-BC. Cancer definitely wasn't part of it! I always thought I'd have a stroke like my mother. Trouble, is I am probably still going to have one of those too, at some point!

As I get older and look back, the tragedies become clearly part of the plan - part of my story- they had to and I've had to accept things that were appalling shocks at the time. There's no choice is there.

A friend of mine has had health problems of various sorts for a lot of years, but in the last 3 years, she's complained of hearing loss and dizziness. GP and others said part of ageing etc. and she got a hearing aid. Well she's at last had an MRI and a tumour (most probably benign) has been found in her brain- accounting for hearing loss and dizziness. That wasn't in her plan either.

Sorry that was bit rambling.

poor friend SR sad
Have been thinking about the mental health stuff and just what a huge impact it makes on life- I suppose I fear it more than cancer.
Baby rook fed twice now - he is a big bird and huge beak -goibbled up several spoons of cat food- very sweet and very noisy !

coorong Sun 12-May-13 14:45:13

Afternoon all -i think we all share those 4am anxieties. I was a bit of a black dog person before BC, but this experience has kind of shunted the worst of that away. I think because my previous depression was slightly self indulgent and now I really do have some thing to worry about, I'm less worried confused if that makes sense.

But what's extraordinary is, I had a small pathetic, lump, all removed with the mx, but there are still some people who cast a death sentence over me. I think the problem malt is that after we have come to terms with everything and we're happy, we have to waste energy reasssuring other people.

I was also reassured by two things. First, my BC nurse. She sees thousands of women a year, thousands, and has been in the job for decades. When she sees me, its as part of enormous crowd of women who are on the other side of treatment, an ENORMOUS crowd. She has perspective. Second, the huge market for post mastectomy bras. There are women buying these bras because theirs have worn out ..... -

Can someone send me a link to mindfulness training - or the breathing thing and the apps. I'd love to have a go

Copthallresident Sun 12-May-13 14:54:27

coorong Yes I have worn loads out! and am on 4th prosthesis grin (though probably not designed for throwing across room at piss ups meet ups)

M&S wouldn't have exploited that market if it wasn't huge, and growing.

coorong Sun 12-May-13 15:04:11

copt yes, that would clear the pub....

malteserzz Sun 12-May-13 15:06:41

I guess cancer is something that hopefully you learn to live with and I have to do that somehow
You all have very wise words
I'm trying to remember that after my biopsy results on Tuesday we actually felt quite positive like you say there were lots of women there in the same position and it was very much that we are going to do this and then maybe this but there was a plan

coorong Sun 12-May-13 15:29:03

malt i don't know if you're like me. But when I was pregnant, for a time, I thought I was the ONLY PREGNANT PERSON IN THE WORLD. Honestly, it was all about me. Then I went to an aquanatal class, surrounded by 25 other pregnant women, all due within a couple of months of me. It kind of de-specialised me, put it all into perspective. At first I found the BC department a bit scary, but then realised it was full of women all going through the same thing. The group for whom I have the biggest sympathy are men with breast cancer. I think that must be extremely difficult to deal with.

Gigondas Sun 12-May-13 16:07:26

Glad you are feeling bit more comfy ash.

Agreeing with mas and Copt about facing your fears and attitudes to death/ cancer. Being told I had cancer was scary and upsetting but it was as nothing to looking at a scan of your son and being told that he was so damaged that nothing you could do would save him .

That certainly was my "why me" moment - it was also the time when I learned what it was meant by the phrase go mad with grief.

I like the pzizz apps for sleep . I think mindfulness one that times and lets you do guided or unguided meditation is the mindfulness app.

The best book I have found is here- it's good on science as well as practicality book and site

Jon kabAt zinn is the man behind the medical/science of all this so what he writes is well worth looking at it.

Lots of vest tops and new fleecy hoody bought while big gig out so a success.

AshokanFarewell Sun 12-May-13 16:09:40

coorong do you have an iPhone? If so then here is a link to headspace app in iTunes Store I hope that works as I'm on my phone. Otherwise if you search Headspace it's the first app to come up.

I've been moved from my individual room to a bay. I wouldn't mind but two of the ladies spent yesterday evening discussing all the people they knew who had died and how they died hmm I'm hoping I will be able to go home this evening as I am making good progress. Lady next to me is also new and her husband has brought their one month old baby in for a feed, super cute smile

jchocchip Sun 12-May-13 16:12:10

Malt at some point I just had to trust the docs when they said that it was treatable. I was lucky, after my biopsy results, I had pre op the same week and lumpectomy the next week so I only had to live with the knowledge of my cancer for a short time. Post op results then reassured me and quantified my fears. It helps me to class myself as having had cancer rather than having it. I know it may come back sometime but I'll meet that at the time. Also my Aunty helpfully had a stroke while I was having rads which put things into perspective for me, a couple of small scars were not going to impact my life long term, and losing the use of an arm, would.
I've done the mental illness thing and some friends did find that hard to cope with, that is why I can't take antids really, they have a tendency to push me towards mania. Diet and exercise are good for regulating sleep patterns, a good walk outside in the sunshine even if only for 15mins at lunchtime really helps. Running and swimming also lift my mood and help me sleep.
Stuck in the car for another hour or so going to visit mum and then home much later...
Anyone doing anythjng more excitinf? How's the rook, mas?

AshokanFarewell Sun 12-May-13 16:12:16

Oh gigs sad I'm so sorry, in a non head tilting way and I'm really sorry I cross posted it seems so insensitive.

jchocchip Sun 12-May-13 16:21:44

Xposted too gigs, awful to lose your son that way. Loss puts life into perspective.

Copthallresident Sun 12-May-13 16:35:09

Gigs Yes I don't think it gets much worse than the loss of a child, especially in those circumstances sad. One thing that all the mothers who I have known that have had Cancer have felt thankful for is that it hasn't happened to their children, better you than them.

malteserzz Sun 12-May-13 16:36:10

I'm sorry for your loss Gigs x

yes gigs - I can't imagine how that must have felt.Was it not his due date this week or last ? sending a special hug and loving thoughts.
I used to be so frightened of T having the same cancer as my brother - I couldn't bear the thought of his being ill or dying -am sure my parents felt the same about my brother.

Jon Kabat Zinn books are very good - and this is a good cd here

coorong Sun 12-May-13 17:06:10

Gigs, sorry you've been through so much in such a short space of time .. and thank you (and others) for the book recommendation - I'm swayed by the Ruby Wax endorsement.

ash sounds like the women who were on my mx ward - 3 days they were at it (only stopped for their ops) of non stop yak yak yak - "what are you having done?, I'm having, oooh, aah, I wouldn't have that - last woman I know who had it, her head fell off....." and so on - podcasts and headphones were the only thing that helped. Oh, and my throwing up stopped them for a few minutes .....

still trying to plan polymers lesson -
I must stop reading mumsnet
I must stop reading mumsnet
I must stop reading mumsnet

sandripples Sun 12-May-13 17:32:42

Gigs, I'm really sorry about your son - hadn't known about this loss before today.
My niece has had a very worrying pregnancy (she was tested for Edwards syndrome as there were several indicators of this very serious condition) but at present has been told all is well. It must be so sad and desperate to be faced with that news you had, Gigs.

Gigondas Sun 12-May-13 17:33:29

Thanks for kind messages - it was his 6th birthday yesterday. I actually found it quite a peaceful and happy time thinking of him. It hasn't always felt like that. And post was just being honest about experience - it is shitty having cancer but it isn't the only thing that is horrible (strokes, mental illness as mentioned here).

And didn't mean to derail thread as i am doing ok and have a very lucky happy and blessed life in so many ways.

The people in next bay sound choice ash. Hope you get out.

I am hmmangryabout the purple glitter in the party bag that has been sprayed the house.

sandripples Sun 12-May-13 17:42:36

Its fine - no derailing perceived. I'm glad you had a peaceful day yesterday.

On a completely different matter, I've just joined the gardening thread - not that I can do much this year due to this cold weather...

Gigondas Sun 12-May-13 17:55:56

Your poor niece- Edwards was one of things that they tested for (there was no genetic link which added to why me feeling).

My gardening efforts are woeful - is the thread inspirational?

Dh has control of remote (shouldn't be allowed after the sick admission grin). We are watching sir Alex leaving speech...

malteserzz Sun 12-May-13 18:20:43

Hope everyone has a good evening I'm going in the bath with a trashy magazine then going to watch catchphrase grin

NedSchneebly Sun 12-May-13 18:26:46

Hugs gig and mrgig - thinking of you x x x

Oops about the glitter. Be prepared for it to lurk in your house for many months. . . It is generally considered to be hoover resistant.

ash shock at others in your ward - you really don't need that! Hope you can break free soon. Take it easy, won't you? x x x

malt the waiting is definitely the worst bit. I had to wait 13 days from diagnosis to my surgery and it was the longest time ever, even worse waiting than dealing with chemo in some ways. Stay positive and stay here with us smile

coorong how's the polymers going? Hope you've got your lesson all sorted!

MAS I have still got your Mindfulness book - if you want it back or to lend it on to anyone else, let me know. Anyone fancy a read of it? Its very interesting.

I also have gig's Howards Way DVDs. Ditto gig if you want them back, or anyone wants to borrow them, then PM me!

I don't garden. I supervise. And occasionally water the greenhouse when DH is away, but that is only with written instructions as to which plant-things to water, and how much. . .

Gigondas Sun 12-May-13 18:30:43

Ohh catchphrase - I love catchphrase . And the voice is on again.

Waiting for painkiller to start working as feeling bit done in. Think may have overdone it on shopping (but there were good stretchy vests and pull on bras in there).

malteserzz Sun 12-May-13 18:47:09

Love catchphrase ! And the programme afterwards with the old people being funny I can't remember what it's called ?
I have to wait a month for my op, if I'd not gone private for the Dx though I would still be waiting for that so must think positivesmile

Gigondas Sun 12-May-13 19:06:27

If they were that concerned, you would not wait a month.

Gigondas Sun 12-May-13 19:58:17

Is there something addictive in galaxy chocolate? I know it is far from the classiest choc but I am obsessed. Happened when I was pregnant too.

ned hang on to it if you like, unless anyone else would like to read it - it's very good and used on all the Mindfulness based stress reduction courses (which I can recommend as I did one back in 2011)

Galaxy is quite caramelly- I do like it,I must say. My current thing is Dairy Milk Turkish Delight...

Gigondas Sun 12-May-13 20:00:52

I like that too - it's a real taste of childhood as my grandad loved them.

Gigondas Sun 12-May-13 20:01:58

I am sure they do these in waitrose biscuits

woah ! I'll go and check ! I had some Fry's Turkish Delight a while ago which was v nice.

jchocchip Sun 12-May-13 20:08:47

galaxy is very smooth. I'm sure it is addictive. I try to stick to lindt dark for a quick choc hit without the calories, I like chilli, seasalt and intense strawberry...

jchocchip Sun 12-May-13 20:10:22

Prefer my turkish delight out of wooden boxes, takes me back to childhood christmasses.

topsyturner Sun 12-May-13 20:15:45

Yack !
Turkish Delight is the Food of Satan hmm

Hope everyone has had a lovely Sunday .
Mine has been quite peaceful .
Apart from when DH and the kids came home and started another Nerf War ...

Started another blankie project .
Trying to do a daisy crochet square , but I'm finding it very hard to get it right .
I have real spacial awareness problems , and find it very difficult to follow instructions . So it means doing about 50 trial runs till I get it right smile

What's everyone up to tomorrow ?
No more emergency runs to the hospital for anyone I hope ???

Gigondas Sun 12-May-13 20:22:10

Taking mini for chicken pox jab, getting the weeping thigh wound checked ( its not infected but part of it isn't healing and is still weeping) and trying to do essay.

grinAt nerf war. You feeling better now?

AshokanFarewell Sun 12-May-13 20:25:13

I'm having a break while oversharing lady watches telly. I feel bad for being annoyed because it turns out her son was killed by a car and then her husband died shortly after, so she's been through a lot. But I'm finding it quite hard work as she has shown me all her op scars, given me lots of details of her bowel problems and is reading one of those awful "real life stories" magazines so earlier got out of bed to come and show me a very graphic photo of a woman who had been bitten by a spider confused hmm she is obviously lonely and means well but it's a bit overwhelming as she fills every second of silence. I'm being deliberately vague as I bet she knows someone who died of bowel cancer, probably with some rare complications.

I hate Turkish delight but Galaxy is very addictive, I don't even like it that much but I can never have just one square!]

Gigondas Sun 12-May-13 20:32:11

That's a bit much when you are sick -sad though it might be for her.

That's exactly what problem is with galaxy ash.

malteserzz Sun 12-May-13 20:34:28

Ash you sound like you're being very patient with oversharing lady. I can see how that would be annoying when you just want a bit of peace
Gigs hope the jab and check up go ok and good luck with the essay
Topsy sounds like the crochet will keep you out of mischief

I'm going shopping with a friend tomorrow, need to do some planning too as I'm back at work on Wednesday have missed my class lots smile
I have some dairy milk with Oreos if anyone would like some ?

notJenkins Sun 12-May-13 21:20:31

I had a lady like that next to me ash and I kept the curtain firmly pulled round so as not to make eye contact and encourage her. I knew everything about her including where she was born and she engaged my visitors in conversation.

jchocchip Sun 12-May-13 23:03:20

Home at last! Phew. Cat pleased to see us. Wishing you all the sweetest dreams tonight.

jchocchip Mon 13-May-13 04:00:49

Hmmmm cat too pleased to see us, bouncing around expecting treats...

AshokanFarewell Mon 13-May-13 06:17:33

Glad you got back safely jchoc and I hope the cat calmed down so you could sleep!

Not many late night posts so hopefully everyone had a good night's sleep? smile

brew anyone? The breakfast trolley is coming round shortly but there is nothing worth sharing, except maybe the blackcurrant jam.

malteserzz Mon 13-May-13 06:22:34

Morning As and everyone
Had a sleeping tablet last night and had a great nights sleep which I'm sure will help me get through today
Hope everyone else slept well toosmile

malteserzz Mon 13-May-13 06:23:34

Ash not As sorry !
Hope talkative lady is still asleep

Copthallresident Mon 13-May-13 06:49:03

Morning brew Some of Reubens blueberry and hazlenut tea loaf for trolley before Dh eats it all, caught him downstairs cutting himself a slice at 4.30 am shock and some of that new CAdburys chocolate with candy jelly beans, sounds disgusting but actually nice. I am definitely a Cadburys girl, partly as result of being deprived of decent Cadbury's in Hong Kong, the CAdbury's there is made in Australia and is disgusting so we all used to fall on whoever bought supplies back from trips to blighty . At least am always sure of a warm welcome whenever I go out there even if it is cupboard love [ grin] Why did I write about 4 am worries, have been up since 4 am worrying. There will be a zombie on the Kingston one way system in a couple of hours .... At least we keep the cats out of the bedroom jchoc

I think half the problem is that I have been expending so much emotional energy keeping it calm and light for the Copettes that I have hoovered up their anxiety. At least have not heard a peep from little Copt so hopefully she slept.

ash yes there always seems to be one of those types on wards, especially gynae wards, almost completely put off ever having children after a stint on one in my twenties, it was very effective contraception!!

Hope your wound gets sorted gig good luck with essay

Little COpt up, ok breeeaaathe, calm........

AshokanFarewell Mon 13-May-13 07:41:13

Good luck to little copt for her six hours today! smile and for you copt I hope you are able to relax a bit

And good luck gigs with staples.

A man has just been admitted, he swallowed his dentures! shock

Gigondas Mon 13-May-13 07:45:31

Go little Copt - sending her brainwaves.

Guess what? Up half the night with big gigs sick bug. So feel bleurgh. Stopped being sick I think. But was having delerious dreams about benedict cumberbatch in Star Trek. smile

oh poor gig sad feel better soon x
ash eek about denture swallowing - does he have to wait for them to pass through ? yikes !
Lots of luck to little copt
I was in gynae ward after my breast op and they did chat a lot - I was impressed by old lady in there asking how soon she could have sex after her bladder stretching shock !

am off to take Charles (my car) to have expensive work done on him - hoping the courtesy car is a swish one.
Am on cat injecting patrol later as parents away.

trice Mon 13-May-13 08:41:04

I have had a terrible morning with dd. She is refusing to go to school. She just wants to spend the day in bed with me. Dh ended up smacking her bum, which is not something we normally do. She insisted that it didn't hurt and it just meant she would never put her socks on, she likes time out as it means she doesn't have to be with us and she doesn't care if we take her toys as they are for babies anyway!

She knows I have cancer. She is sleeping with me, bringing me get well soon cards twice a day and bringing me flowers and treats all the time. She is obviously really worried about me and missing me being her mum.

She has gone to school in tears after telling us she hates us.

Any suggestions? I don't know what to do for the best.

AshokanFarewell Mon 13-May-13 08:44:19

gigs hope you feel better soon! flowers

MAS I'm not sure, he's been taken away for more X-rays and a camera thingy. Good luck with cat injections - I expect it's quite difficult?

I was the cause of the latest ward drama as my cannula fell out and I ende up pouring blood everywhere. I've never seen so much blood from such a tiny hole! Anyway, all sorted now and the floor has been washed blush

malteserzz Mon 13-May-13 08:48:12

Trice have you spoken to the school about it and got them on side ? Maybe they can suggest something that she has to look forward to at school so she's more willing to go and can give her some support.

AshokanFarewell Mon 13-May-13 08:49:00

Oh trice sad big hugs to you all. I don't really have any suggestions but hopefully by the time she gets home she will have calmed down. Does her teacher know what's going on? I would've thought school would help as it's a bit of normality. If it's any consolation I was the same when my dad was in hospital after his heart attack, I wanted to stay off school to visit but my mum sent me in and we had a massive fight. Hopefully once she is there with her friends she will have a nice distraction from worrying about you and she will come home having forgotten all about this morning.

topsyturner Mon 13-May-13 09:03:01

Morning All

Good luck to small copt for today .
Ash the denture swallowing thing is surprisingly common !
Are you getting out soon ?
Jane , that's why pig/dog sleeps in the kitchen !
Mas do you need elbow length gauntlets for Smog duty ?
Gigs is Mr Gigs ducking out of night duty again ? Tell him I will withdraw his beer ticket allowance if he tries that one again !

Trice how old is DD ?
First off , you haven't damaged her .
I agree with letting her school know , my DDs school have been very supportive .
Secondly , your oncology team should have assigned you a social worker . They can advise you how to talk to her , and let you know of any children's support services that they offer .
There's also Macmillan you can ask advice from .

I do agree that school is the best place for her though . She needs to have as much normality as possible .

trice Mon 13-May-13 09:06:19

I hope she forgives us. Selfishly I would like her to stay here with me and read stories and sing me songs. She gives the best cuddles ever. I believe that school will do her good though.

School have been great, she has been winning every school prize since they found out I was ill. They are possibly over sympathetic.

Dd has been ignored a lot recently with all that is going on. She has been out for tea with various kind friends virtually every other evening. Perhaps that is making her feel pushed out? Perhaps she is just upset by a shitty situation? parenting is hard enough without cancer on top. Dh is distraught.

AshokanFarewell Mon 13-May-13 10:06:36

Maybe you could haves

AshokanFarewell Mon 13-May-13 10:11:13

Oops! What I was trying to say is maybe you can have some special time together just the two of you when she gets home from school smile you're her parents and she loves you, she will forgive you. She probably just feels completely out of control because she can't do anything to make you better and is lashing out sad

New girl on the ward. She and oversharing lady are having a competitive discussion about how addicted they are to cigarettes hmm

trice of course she'll forgive you- she loves you and you can say these things to your parents and they'll love you whatever...I think school is the very best place for her to be and doing stuff as normally as possible- maybe the school should ease up on the prizes etc as she'll easily suss out that this is a bit too much and that might reinforce her feelings that things are abnormal.
ash competitive smoking stories ! hope teeth man is ok. Eek about cannula,that would have made me pass out for sure !
Smog is very good about his injections- too busy eating to notice !

trice Mon 13-May-13 10:34:41

It's good you are managing to keep your sense of humour Ash. I hope this doesn't mean you have to listen to all the stories again!

I am tetchy and even more self obsessed than usual today. Perhaps this means I am feeling better!

trice Mon 13-May-13 10:36:48

I did the cannula thing once. It was incredible / ridiculous / terrifying and very red and messy.

malteserzz Mon 13-May-13 10:44:15

Trice she will be ok bet she's playing with her friends now happily. Of course she's going to be upset seeing you poorly but she sounds like she's got lots of support which is good
Ash I hope you will get a bit of peace now that the overtalking lady has someone else to talk to. You sound like you have the attitude of just get on with things and not feel sorry for yourself good on you, I'm the opposite lol !

Hi to everyone else

smee Mon 13-May-13 11:12:10

Go little Copt!! vibes for brain power from me too. smile

Morning all. Waving to Ash. Hope talky new woman and over-sharer go out for fags and leave you in peace. I had the canula sporty thing after last op. Blood spurting from canula, then I threw up. Poor DH, not sure he's ever recovered.. grin x

Trice, poor you and poor DH, though of course you haven't damaged her. So v.tough what you're going through atm. I'd say treat tea for all and talk about it as a family. Even if she's teeny she'll feel part of it. So daddy must still go to work, DD must still go to school, etc.

MAS, hope Charles is safely back soon, and courtesy car's zippy. smile

Gig, am putting toasted bagels on trolley for you. They always make me feel better if I'm sick. x

Off for my 6 monthly Onc check later. I haven't got anything I'm worried about, but am still worried. sigh..

AshokanFarewell Mon 13-May-13 11:37:31

smee I'll hop on the paranoia box for you, hope the appointment goes well.

malt I have bouts of feeling sorry for myself too - remember my previous hospital visit! I just find it helps me to try and ignore it all and carry on smiling smile also I don't have as much to worry about as everyone else as I don't have children!

Having a bit of a panic here too as have had a rather embarrassing symptom which nurses and surgeon knew about and didn't seem concerned but then bowel nurse turned up and I told her and she freaked out hmm however have been reliably informed it can be caused by antibiotics and she says not, so as usual she doesn't really know what she's talking about so hopefully not cause for alarm! I have to provide a specimen sad

that sounds irkome ash - hope all is ok.
I had a blood transfusion bag fall on me when I was 6 - the nurse thought I'd done it on purpose (as if) and left me in a bloodied bed- my dad nearly had a heart attack !
Lots of good thoughts to smee for oncy appointment xxxxx

Gigondas Mon 13-May-13 11:53:36

Double yuck on blood as have lost a cannula and had blood bag fall.

Thanks for bagel- not being sick but utterly washed out. Just slept on sofa all morning- should get up really.

AshokanFarewell Mon 13-May-13 12:26:53

Oh MAS that's horrid! sad

gigs I hope you feel better soon, rest is good, and treats to build your strength up smile

Another panic as had a visit from an oncologist but thankfully just one of Dr Happy's colleagues. He's writing to Dr W with his recommendations so I'm sure that will be well-received... grin

Doctors are hoping to send me home and just contact me if there's any problems with my specimen, just need approval from consultant so fingers crossed smile

fingers crossed ash
Can I get you or *gig8 anything sustaining from Waitrose ? am off in a sec... (also,touch wood,think I've finished my book illustrations !)

Copthallresident Mon 13-May-13 14:58:12

Thanks for vibes and brainwaves for little Copt just picked her up exhausted, wasn't 6 hours, but nearly four with a 2 min break in middle (others got longer but eaten into by extra time) She thinks it went OK but then problem with dyslexia is that you miss things, so you don't see what you get wrong. Straight back to it for History tomorrow..... She seems a bit calmer with one over with or maybe she is just in a coma ....

Trice I agree that keeping things normal is best thing for DD, you don't say what age she is but they get little hormonal surges from seven so you get periods of bolshiness even before the major hormones kick in, I remember being pushed to limit a few times, especially by Big Copt. I would wonder about the prizes too, it can backfire. I know Big Copt was picked for some big dance display in the west end by her dance teacher who wanted to help, she had become a personal friend, but she is no dancer, and there was some bitchiness about that from those who missed out. My friend's daughter absolutely hated being made a fuss of at her school and they had similar problems getting her to go in. DDs' school were on look out for any problems but didn't treat the six children they had going through the same thing at the same time any differently. It makes it a refuge from the extraordinary things they may be struggling to cope with at home. It is important they have space to be children. The best thing is to get some professional advice for you and school about the best way to handle things, and perhaps a Counsellor for your DD. It can help for them to meet children in the same position, makes it seem more normal, and if your DD is a reader there are various fiction books about children going through trauma and even the same thing, I am sorry I am no longer familiar with the titles but if you have a children's bookshop nearby they will help. We have a very good one who recommended titles to my friends and I, I would have thought they would respond to an email

After my treatment Big Copt wrote, without me knowing , to Jacqueline Wilson to say that she had found her books a real comfort when I was ill because it made her realise she wasn't the only child who had to cope with problems. Jacqueline Wilson wrote back to say she was writing a book about a character whose mother had BC and would love to meet her and have a chat so we met up with her at Carluccios, she was lovely and the Coptettes felt very celebby as people kept coming up to her for autographs. She gave them both books with lots of lovely pictures and comments scribbled on them which we still have. I can't remember what the book was called though, it must be one of hundreds by now

gigs Hope you are feeling better. Important to rest.

smee Hope Onc appointment goes well, I am sure nothing to worry about.

Ash I am sure they are used to swallowed dentures, it's when the dentures, or other surprising items blush find their into other parts of the anatomy grin Niece is a nurse, they all have stories.....

malteserzz Mon 13-May-13 15:15:06

Hi all
Been shopping today and feel quite normal, whatever normal is ! Haven't cried anyway though obviously still thinking all the time about having cancer. Very weird as I feel so well just tired.
Probably will be sobbing later it's such a roller coaster

Copt how lovely of JW my dd used to love her books
Ash I hope you get to go home soon
Smee it's only natural to still worry but I hope everything is fine, good luck

I've ordered some front fastening bras which were recommended by somebody on here last week sorry I can't remember who but thank you. I've also got some button up PJs is there anything else I need to buy for my lumpectomy op? Have only ever been into hospital to give birth and I'm trying to avoid the doom of google !!

how lovely about Jacqueline Wilson copt !
I used to go to the Lion & Unicorn a lot to buy books for T - fab shop. I used to work in the Waterstone's across the way in the olden days,when it was first opened (in fact before it opened) and used to be in charge of cookery and art -in those days we had a monthly budget each and bought all the stock & new books for our sections -those were the days.

amberlight Mon 13-May-13 15:22:11

Malt, I found I was in and out of hosp so quick that I barely needed a thing. Hopefully you will find the same.

same as amber - was given the option of staying in overnight but wanted to go home,so didn't need anything (I'd taken some baby wipes,a book and a bottle of Dior SunSweet spray -a non alcohol based scent which was to cheer me up)

malteserzz Mon 13-May-13 15:29:56

Thanks I'm sure they said overnight but maybe they said possibly overnight grin
A friend of a friend is back the same day as me as after hers they found another area of concern hmm we both wish they'd just take the whole breast to be sure
Lovely and sunny here now but windy I'm just waiting for ds to come out of school

HerNextDoorAt21 Mon 13-May-13 16:00:25

Wow in have read about 40 pages to catch up with you lot ! You sure can chat ...... Hugs to everyone especially Asho for enduring over sharing woman lol

I have had one of my drains out !!!! Yayyyyyy !!!!! It really felt like a breakthrough.

Went yo see occupational health this morning and will be rejoining the workforce from end of may. Two days a week for 4 weeks then 3 days a week for two weeks then full time .... Though wont really be back properly til
About September with holidays etc

jchocchip Mon 13-May-13 16:45:36

Hurray for the drain hnd just tootling to Leeds for a course and have read but no time to post really! Lovely and sunny here now too. Waves to everyone. Have toblerone for trolley... smile

trice Mon 13-May-13 17:35:18

My lovely friends have taken me out for the afternoon in a wheelchair. It felt a bit surreal but great to get out of the house and out in the sunshine .

Dd has returned all sweetness and light having had a lovely day at school and winning a new swimming badge. I am glad but bemused. We have agreed to try to be calmer all round tomorrow morning. Phew!

malteserzz Mon 13-May-13 17:49:02

Trice isn't that just kids for you ! You worry yourself silly about them and theyre fine 5 minutes later !
Glad you managed to get out for a bit

that's good to hear trice !
hnd hooray for drain out - hope the others come out v soon.

smee Mon 13-May-13 18:04:37

phew, Trice. Glad DD's okay. Good you got out into the sunshine too. smile

Yay for you HND. Can't believe how long you've had drains in. Hope you're celebrating. smile

Any news from Ash? Is she still stuck??

Malt, you need things on an iPod - podcasts, or music or audiobooks. I never seem able to read much in hospital, but take a book in case you can. Definitely ear plugs in case you get a woman next to you like the one next to Ash, lots of nice wipes to keep you feeling fresh. Take a mini fan in case it's hot. Throat sweets to suck on in case they put a tube down your throat while you're out and you wake up with a sore throat. I always take some gum too, as it's easy to freshen your mouth up with that than get to the bathroom to clean your teeth. Maybe some little oranges or something sweet, but sensible for when you wake up.

Lovely JW story, Copt. How nice of her. smile

MAS, have you really finished the book already?? Blimey, treats for you. How's this lot of chemo going? Hope not too bad. xx

Are you feeling better, Gig? Copt's made me buy some of that new dairy milk and candy choc. Will throw crumbs on the trolley for you. <generous as ever> grin

Onc was okay, so phew and hooray for that, though it was a bit like being in a Monty Python sketch. I go to two different hospitals who never seem to communicate, so today met Baby Onc, who did general chit chat, then asked when my last mammogram was? I said well I don't have them any more as have no breasts. She said, ah but you do have a breast, I said nope I really don't. Pointed out elective mastectomy. She looks embarrassed and says oh yes. Then asked when last period was, so I say I'm post menopausal. She says really, how do you know? I point out they've done blood tests. Gosh she says, how interesting. Then says you're 45, I say nope am 47, and so on. I know they worry a bit less about us as time goes on, but you'd have thought they'd get the basics right. grin

Might have some wine tonight to celebrate. Will raise a toast to us all. Onwards. smile

Oh hooray for you smee !! But wink at the lack of communication!
A glass or two definitely !
Am just going through my drawings and tweaking and making sure I'm happy with them.
This chemo round is ok so far, felt a bit sick this morning but nothing

Gigondas Mon 13-May-13 19:44:01

winewinegrin For smee but bah about junior dr issues.

Glad chemo ok- how are your hands? Mas

Sending more brainwaves to little Copts (and love the jw story -big lion and unicorn fans here) .

Trice- dd was acting up at school when I was in hospital a few weeks ago. I think being too nice is not always the way go as normal good.

Feeling very weak and tired so hoping tomorrow better. But be warned, I am getting in a Eurovision mood...

feast your eyes

trice Mon 13-May-13 19:53:27

I love a bit of euro vision gig.

malteserzz Mon 13-May-13 20:01:12

Ooh when is Eurovision ?? Is mumsnet playing up for anyone else I keep seeing blank posts it's a bit freaky

Gigondas Mon 13-May-13 20:04:50

It's on Saturday. Heats this week I think. No slower than usual malt .

coorong Mon 13-May-13 20:31:47

evening all large grin at your 'fawlty towers' hospital smee - i must say i laughed when the pre op nurse put a big arrow on my mx breast ... but after that conversation i know why.
Am very jealous about JW copt she's a big hit in our house - the blurbs look a bit too right on, but in fact they're really nicely written.
Agree on the advice about your DD trice. I realise my situation is entirely different to yours, but i'm always amazed at children's resilience.

But I also know exactly what you mean about wanting to simply curl up in bed with them - sometimes they're nothing nicer than the smell of a clean child (parents of teenagers will scoff at that comment - I know I teach the sometimes rancid unruly mob)

well back to the lesson planning - my final PGCE observed lesson tomorrow - adaptations - am doing a camel rap song from youtube - I'm too busy worrying about learning objectives and outcomes to think about cancer .... will put left over cherry ripe on the trolley,

trice Mon 13-May-13 20:43:45

Good luck with your camel rap coorong. I did a secondary science pgce 15 years ago and the thought of it still makes me want to lie down in a darkened room.

I went on to teach adults - much easier and less smelly.

malteserzz Mon 13-May-13 21:07:56

I'll look forward to the eurovision cheese fest then !
Coorong good luck with the lesson planning I'm taking my class to the zoo on Friday no camels there though !
Smee thanks for the tips and shocking really about your check up, glad it went ok

Today is the 1st day since dx that I've not cried, still time though !
Am watching greggs more than meats the pies well someone's got to !

malteserzz Mon 13-May-13 21:09:19

Trice the thought of teaching adults scares me ! Give me little ones any day they're easily pleased though they are often smelly

jchocchip Mon 13-May-13 22:13:42

Early night for me! Should sleep well, its been a long day. Course was very good- about revision techniques and learning tricks one was associating two words from a list with a room in your house. I think I'm going to record some of my revision and listen to it when running! Mil has had her offer accepted on house in our road - it will be good to have her nearby. House is empty so may go through quickly - not done till its done though.

AshokanFarewell Mon 13-May-13 22:18:57

Hello all, made it home and my auntie has come to visit smile am exhausted so haven't read all posts and am about to go to sleep. Hope all is well with everyone x

jchocchip Mon 13-May-13 22:26:18

Oh hurray for getting home ash sweet dreams smile

smee Mon 13-May-13 22:38:10

Yay for Ash being home. That must feel nice to be in your own bed. Sweet dreams. smile

Good luck for Camel Rap, Coorong. Are you actually performing it in front of a class, or teaching a lesson around it. Am so hoping it's the former. grin

malteserzz Mon 13-May-13 23:03:08

Glad to hear that Ash is home
I'm off to bed night all x

Glad you're home ash ! And good luck coorong smile
Eurovision is always a hoot !
Hands ok-ish, just very prickly and look like dried up horrid things.
Sleep well everyone x

Oh and that's good news about MIL's offer on house and glad that course was good jchoc

smee Mon 13-May-13 23:18:11

Missed that, Jane. That's great. Hope it's hassle free. smile

MAS, prickly must be annoying. Can they give you something to stop that?

Night all. Sleep well. smile

coorong Mon 13-May-13 23:43:08

Thank you all

I put the 'c' into 'rap'! grin


topsyturner Mon 13-May-13 23:53:19

Welcome home Ash
Would you like me to chat to you all night about my gynae problems , just incase you are missing the ward ? grin

Night All x

jchocchip Tue 14-May-13 04:00:35

Oh bum. What am I doing awake at 4am?

malteserzz Tue 14-May-13 06:18:14

Hope you managed to get back to sleep ?
Wondering whether to post depressing post about the world carrying on and feeling like this wait is too long and crap like that.
But no I'll just say good morning.Another day. Hope it's a good one for everyone

Gigondas Tue 14-May-13 06:54:44

Post away if you feel horrid malt. Best to get it out.

Pleased you are home ash and hope you had a good night.

Jchoc- that's good news about your mum. Wonder if any news on kurris mum house? And also think notjenkins is selling.

Feel lots better after good nights sleep which is good as was long day yesterday.

notJenkins Tue 14-May-13 07:09:35

Good morning from me.

Glad to hear you are out ash and we can over share some problems if you are missing your room mate.

We are indeed selling our house but no viewings for over a week now. I think we will go with a 2nd agent if it does not pick up soon. My grand plan is to move house, reduce my hours at work and turn into a lady that does yoga and swans around with the hounds on my days off.

Throwing toast on the trolley whilst rushing about doing packed lunches etc etc.

malteserzz Tue 14-May-13 07:45:45

Morning again
It's just the waiting that's getting to me and the time to worry how bad it is and if it's spread, usual stuff
And people on Facebook counting down to holidays when we had to cancel ours because we didn't know what would be happening then-least of worries I know but still
Got a friend round for coffee later.

notJenkins Tue 14-May-13 07:49:10

Malt The waiting is hideous.

I developed a serious case of cancer Tourette's and found it really hard not to comment on people's fb status, reply to their moans etc with a less than polite response.

jchocchip Tue 14-May-13 07:57:59

I did go back to sleep. Now have to get a move on or will be late. Mil is trying to sell her mums house and not had many viewings.
Malt the waiting is hard sad You will get through this op and whatever treatments they recommend afterwards. Then you will enjoy a holiday!
Must dash, have a lovely day peeps.

Gigondas Tue 14-May-13 07:59:16

FB Tourette's is a long lasting phenomenon. Think you get a bit of perspective in stuff after dx.

I no longer discuss holidays - gave had to cancel 3 since dx so I am now just going to pretend I go to tesco rather than go on holiday so no disappointment.

I am in spare room bed which is so comfy so no intention of getting up. Our room being painted hence the move.

trice Tue 14-May-13 08:12:40

It is always nice to see friends malt, she will take your mind off things.

The sun is shining and birds are singing. My bed linen is on the line, dd went to school like an angel. It's all good.

trice Tue 14-May-13 08:17:32

I am sending my sister in my place on holiday this year. She can help Dh with the kids, she gets a hol and I am going to stay with my mum and be pampered.

If I can't drink the wine, eat the food, swim in the pool or sit in the sun I'm damned if I am going to put up with uncomfortable beds and bad plumbing!

Gigondas Tue 14-May-13 08:24:07

I did same last year when dh went to France with kids. Was really good ;tho missed them) as I rested and was pampered. Mr gig nearly killed himself running round after 4 kids plus the older ones other halves .

topsyturner Tue 14-May-13 08:37:58

Morning All

We have our usual week booked in our Favourite Place In The World grin
It's a house right by the beach in Connemara .
All there is , is the beach .
Nearest , very small , market town is 11 miles away .
We literally do nothing but sit on the beach for a week .
And because its in the same country (depending on your political view point wink ) I even managed to go there whilst on chemo one year !

Speaking of Cancer , it's my 2 year anniversary !
2 years since I was diagnosed .
Can't believe it actually .

Hope everyone has a good day today
Anyone fancy a bacon sarnie for brekkie ?

malteserzz Tue 14-May-13 08:48:04

I'll have a bacon sarnie please with tomato sauce. Watching angelina Jolie who's announced today she had a double mx to prevent BC. I'm just thinking lucky her ! Probably just me being grumpy
I love holidays and we've had lots of lovely ones so have been very lucky

Gigondas Tue 14-May-13 08:56:51

Swap you a bacon sarnie for a brioche and Nutella .

Your holiday spot sounds perfect topsy. We will be camping down ned and not Jenkins way in August. And France at half term smile.

notJenkins Tue 14-May-13 09:12:53

Ooh gigs where are you camping ? I feel a lunch coming don't you ned?

NedSchneebly Tue 14-May-13 09:15:56

Morning lovelies one and all smile

malt post away, my love. Chances are we've all felt the same at one stage or another. Don't hold back on our account x x

Topsy - 2 years is an awesome milestone. I don't know if "celebrate" is quite the right word, but it needs marking in some way, I think. Seems like a great reason for bacon sarnies anyway smile When do you get your CT results? (or did I hideously miss your report on that? blush )

I started my career teaching secondary, and have worked my way down to Year 1! At least teaching secondary the chances are they remember to put their pants on in the morning. Got rather more or an eyeful than I bargained for last week with little girl sitting cross legged in her rather short summer dress. . .

very excited about the gig family coming this way in August. Must arrange a meet up! We too are going to France at half term, with the ILs. could be a complete and unmitigated disaster. . .

Any news on kurri? Haven't seen her on the new thread yet, I don't think. Hope everything is OK x x x x

Must get on - two sets of reports still to write. Am running out of ways of saying the same thing. The problem in my school is that so many of the kids are related in some way or other, I wouldn't be surprised if the parents compare reports and then complain because I have used the same whole report phrases in some. Sigh. . .

NedSchneebly Tue 14-May-13 09:16:18

X post NJ Hell, yes - lunch good!

notJenkins Tue 14-May-13 09:24:01

Perhaps our pissup meet up should be down these parts in August. We could sample some local ciders.... Admire the scenery....

AshokanFarewell Tue 14-May-13 10:59:27

Ooh a seaside meet up! grin good idea notJ

topsy congratulations (? Is that the ight thing to say?) on your two year anniversary! Hope you enjoyed the bacon Sarmiento smile

ned good luck with reports!

KK hope all is well xx

gigs yay for two tesco trips planned!

malt people on Facebook are so annoying. I have one who is always posting these attention seeking statuses about how ill he is and then everyone going "oh hun r u ok ur so strong" and all sorts of crap. It's usually a fricking cold. I've had to sit on my hands a few times grin I hope you have a lovely time with your friend and feel free to post whatever you like here!

trice I'm glad all is forgiven with DD and that she went to school happily today.

I had a sleepless night last night, good to be back in my own bed but then I had lots of vivid and horrible dreams about dying and also about my ex sad

My auntie is staying with us all week and my cousins are coming over to see her and us this evening, will be lovely smile I'm making dessert, it's a new one I've not tried before, chocolate fudge sponge. First make a chocolate fudge sauce and put that in the tin then put sponge mix on top and cook, then turn upside down. Looks yummy in the picture.

Anyway must have my shower and get on with the day. Bizarrely after a bit of a rubbish night I'm feeling quite positive about everything and full of beans. Planning to start exercising a bit more, starting next week grin

Waves to everyone I've missed, hope you're all having a good day.

AshokanFarewell Tue 14-May-13 11:00:16

*sarnie not Sarmiento confused

Copthallresident Tue 14-May-13 12:41:42

Ash grin at Sarmiento , good new word!!

I think sometimes those dreams are your sub conscious finally getting those thoughts and feelings out because you are ready to deal with them, if you feel good today perhaps it was cathartic?

By the way also happy to treat you to some verbal diarrhoea and perhaps someone else could volunteer to get something surprising stuck somewhere on/ in their anatomy by way of diversion..........

malt Yup also thought AJ a stupid attention seeker. Especially bit about how she did her breasts first because it was more involved than Ovaries. NOPE Breast is just loss of a pound of flesh, dead easy, no muscle involved, ovary a lot harder in real world but clearly in her world the need for perfect reconstruction is the challenge, rather than, you know, surviving <yells arse in manner of Father Jack> Also she bought that Cambodian child, unscrupulous American woman was running an "orphanage" as a front for selling babies / children to Americans, Cambodia is unbelievably poor because Pol Pot killed off the entire educated population, left no doctors, teachers, business men etc. Even the politicians are still mostly in some way connected to Pol Pot because any others were killed. There are still so few teachers that the schools run two shifts, half the children go in the morning, half in the evening. There are lots of brilliant NGOs helping Cambodia to build up a society again that she could have supported but this stupid woman goes in and tries to make out she is doing good by taking a child away from it's mother and then setting up her own charitable foundation which is actually doing business with former Kmer Rouge soldiers This article is based on research by one of our academics, he is quoted at the end.

Coorong camel rap? you are preparing your pupils for serious academic study There were actual camels on the steps outside, not sure if they were queuing to get in grin

That's my uni, completely nuts but for all the right reasons grin

Trice Glad you are having a good day

HND so pleased you have got rids of one of your drains, must be a huge morale booster, it's getting better grin

Topsy I am sure you will not be having any wine to celebrate hmm Two years grin I love Connemara, my great grandmother came from there and we still have family there who we visited as a child. Also my lovely horse came from there grin

smee has forced me to buy more Cadbury's candy chocolate angry <strokes Cadbury's Candy chocolate, my preciousssses>

All quiet on western front here as next exam not til Friday but last night it was full on panic attacks again. I am opposite of Tiger mother, more like wimpy teddy bear mother, and we have tried everything, Counsellors , hypnotherapy, GP has been brilliant (but then they know a thing or two about exam stress). She has to find a way of dealing with this if she is going to go to university. I think it is the frustration of having such good ideas and such good understanding but finding it so hard to get it on paper, and also such a track record of inconsistent results. Still she thought todays exam went well....Still not heard from Big Copt who had killer exam this morning, aargh.

I am going to need a holiday at end of this but now up in air as Big Copt has got place as part of team doing research study at Moorfields in July and August. I may just take Little Copt away somewhere as DH taking Big Copt on Lion's tour to Australia, plus visiting niece and lots of friends there envy and we can't go because Little Copt back at school doing EPQ sad

Copthallresident Tue 14-May-13 14:32:06

Sorry a bit of Cancer Tourette's there but AJ not heroine amongst those who know about issues facing third world countries in Asia and Africa

Gigondas Tue 14-May-13 14:37:10

Hands Copt a brew and bit of Reuben's cake - good on you for ranting on other thread ( which has Tourette's material aplenty on it).

So much for doing anything - have been lieing about reading and watching Junk tv most of day. Need to get bit more active as big gig home soon.

trice Tue 14-May-13 14:38:20

Exams are so stressful. I wish there was a better way of categorising people's abilities, it seems so crude and inaccurate.

topsyturner Tue 14-May-13 15:08:56

Ooh is there a bunfight cracking off somewhere ?
<rubs hands with glee , loads buns , heads off>

Get up Gigs you lazy moo grin

Sports day for DD this evening .
There's still a slim hope we'll get rained off ...

Copthallresident Tue 14-May-13 15:11:01

Thanks gigs wet flannel probably also needed grin wouldn't be so tetchy were it not for stress last night and the fact that it is raining grin

Enjoy your lazy day, if that is what you feel like it is what you need.

Trice Couldn't agree more especially since I am part of a family of Dyslexics, but I take comfort that we seem to do fine when we get into the real world. The weird thing is that when I did my MA , post chemo, I did rather well in the exams, totally at odds with my previous academic career, and better than in my coursework, in spite of chemo brain confused. Perhaps in the process of messing with your cognitive ability it does improve the ability, entirely useless in any other context, to do well in exams grin

malteserzz Tue 14-May-13 15:16:01

I'm off to look for the bun fight too ! Could use a little distraction as have convinced myself that not only have I BC I also have lots of other things wrong with me too, I'm fine when I'm busy it's just when I have time to think.

smee Tue 14-May-13 15:27:40

Copt, poor DD. Must be so hard to be on the sidelines. when I was stressed about my chemistry o-level, my mum gave me whisky to help me sleep. shock Did work though. Just saying..

2 years, Topsy. Bloody hell. You must have treats. smile

Wonder if Coorong got through her camel rap. Got some vision of her doing the sand dance. grin

Trice how are you today??

That cake sounds mmm, Ash. Leave us some crumbs. smile

notJ, I like the sound of your future life. smile

Raining here and cold. I am sleeping ridiculously badly atm. Have just had a meeting in town, so found myself in John Lewis buying a memory foam pillow. The words 'clutching' and 'straws' spring to mind. hmm

Copthallresident Tue 14-May-13 15:30:16

malt Oh yes, you suddenly start to deeply distrust your body. Pile it all into the paranoia box, it will have lots of company grin

Copthallresident Tue 14-May-13 15:44:24

smee I have new pillows, now an expert in the relative merits of Hungarian v Siberian Geese v Ducks Down v Feathers grin And memory foam mattress toppers......

Have tried irresponsible parenting wine with Little Copt, indeed DHs only strategy, after that he goes to bed and leaves me to it, but weirdly she has managed to plunder the farthest reaches of the gene pool to find some genes that mean she is not keen on drinking shock

2years topsy - crikey ! I've just passed 4 years shock-well end of April was 4 years,and 4 years from surgery on 19th I think..or 18th- it's all a blur...
Love to all- am just dashing by to say hello before going to visit baby rook next door and take 2 nice Boden hoodies which think might do for neighbour's feet are soaked from bloody rainy walk to town and back.
And hooray- have just been offered another joke book (this tine for 5-7 yr olds) rah !!

trice Tue 14-May-13 16:42:07

Today I have mostly been applying for employment support allowance. Which I don't feel entitled to in the slightest despite the fact I have been in bed for six weeks. It is not going to help my family if the bank forclose on the mortgage though is it? Stupid zero hours contract doesn't work in your favour when you are sick.

smee Tue 14-May-13 16:52:33

Trice, I bet that's tedious, let alone stressful. Doesn't Macmillan have a service who can help with all of that? Could you hand it over to them?

Yay for MAS. Another new book's fab. Hope deadline's not too hairy. Are you celebrating? smile

Copt, I shall road-test the memory foam pillow and get back to you. Little copt doesn't like alcohol?! shock

malteserzz Tue 14-May-13 17:27:55

Trice that does sound crap hope you can get it sorted
Smee if the pillow helps with sleep let me know too !
Topsy and MAS, 2 and 4 years smile wonder if I'll ever be able to say that
Copy interesting about AJ and I had a look at the other thread
Funny old day here, just getting on with usual stuff really with lots of oh crap this is really happening and I can't cope moments, still doesn't seem real hmm

thenightisyoung Tue 14-May-13 17:28:51

Hi, I've been a bit buried by work for the past couple of weeks and return here to find a new thread has already got to page 10 shock . Sorry I can't keep up with everyone.

Ash really sorry that you've been in hospital but pleased that you're back home now. I found exercise really helped me - I did all that C25K thing to get myself running and it gave me a lot of confidence back. Though obviously you can only do what your health allows at any time.

Malt I am a bit of an intermittent lurker on here. I don't often post partly because I don't use the computer much away from work and partly cos I can be a bit shy blush. But everything you are expressing sound like me a couple of years ago. I was dx about two years ago with a rather rare form of uterine cancer and I needed a total hysterectomy but because of bank holidays and royal weddings etc. I had about a three week wait which I found agonising. For me the occasional small dose of valium got me through the worst of it. About six months later I was diagnosed with bowel cancer and although I had a total meltdown when I got a phone call asking me to come into hospital I felt much calmer once I got a treatment plan and even had quite a nice christmas and new year before my operation (I was dx on 23rd December). After the second op I did get some counselling to help deal with the anxiety I was feeling and I found that really useful. But I have been back at work for over a year now and feeling fit and well at the moment. I still have wobbly moments around appointments and scans but generally life has got a lot better for me - I hope that once you start getting through your treatment that things will feel calmer for you.

Smee, hope the memory foam works. I have tried so many pillows and memory foam was ok but the best is an absurdly expensive down pillow my Mum bought me after one of my ops to cheer me up.

Copt you are bringing back traumatic memories of the year DD was doing GCSEs and DS was doing A Levels.

Gig I hope you are okay and the little gigs are letting you get some rest. How is your OU going?

This post is far too long so obviously not as shy as I thought I was! Hope everyone else is ok xxx

am pretty sure Macmillan have a service for sorting out allowances- would be worth checking.
Deadline is nice and relaxed smee so no immediate panic which is nice.I've just eaten a FAB lolly and might manage a glass of wine later grin

coorong Tue 14-May-13 17:31:49

Greetings all - the camel rap worked a treat and I'm now a few signatures of passing my PGCE. Given I failed block B last year (due to some, shall we say, no, I won't go there). Anyway I HAVE PASSED. And to celebrate, you can see along with the camel rap

If you're not singing along by the end .. welll ....

coorong Tue 14-May-13 17:36:03

and it's a grown up glass of wine here.

gig holiday at tesco sounds good - when we were children in Australia, my mother used to take us to watch miners blasting hillsides apart confused because it was cheap and only an hour away. malt don't think of your life on hold, just a holiday from the holidays. It's the same when you go from being a couple with no responsibilities, to having children and all your holiday plans change.

However, we are planning our annual camping sojourn to France in August. It's the only way I can survive the UK summer (by leaving wink)

thenightisyoung Tue 14-May-13 17:46:53

Congratulations coorong now all we need is a youtube link to you performing it grin

coorong Tue 14-May-13 17:48:48

As I said, I put the c into rap!

hey well done coorong ! and waving to thenight smile

thenightisyoung Tue 14-May-13 17:54:22

Hi mas it's great to hear that your work is going well smile

malteserzz Tue 14-May-13 18:29:02

Night thank you its always good to hear from someone who understands how you feel and that maybe you're not going mad ! On top of everything else ! Currently i have an itch on my leg which ive self diagnosed as skin cancer yesterday it was backache which I thought bone cancer
Glad to hear you are doing well and don't be shy smile

malteserzz Tue 14-May-13 18:33:30

Coorong meant to say well done love the rap and if you ever need any help with anything sure you won't but do ask me.
MAS youre writing a joke book ?Share any good ones won't you we need a laugh

topsyturner Tue 14-May-13 18:48:42

Gah !
Stuck in a car park as 5 million (aprox) school mums try to exit at the same time .
Have been stationary for 20 mins now .

I've told DH we are getting a curry and a bottle of wine tonight !!!

trice Tue 14-May-13 19:04:09

Malt, I have had scans on my brain, liver, bones, throat etc etc convinced that every ache and pain was cancer spreading. It is very annoying. I should have been enjoying being well, but your brain plays tricks on you.

Mas - it was the benefits guy from macmillan who told me about the employment support allowance. I had never heard about it until this afternoon. It's all a bit of a learning curve.

malt not writing the jokes,but illustrating them !

malteserzz Tue 14-May-13 19:53:40

I wish I was enjoying being well I feel like im in this weird limbo, haven't even cried for 2 days it just all feels surreal now. I said to dh maybe this is the honeymoon period when everything goes on as normal for a bit then we find out how bad it is. I wouldn't be able to say that to my friends but I'm sure you will all understand how I feel.
Mas thought you were writing them ! For that age surely you will be drawing a lot of poos,bums and willies ?

Gigondas Tue 14-May-13 20:07:42

wine? And leftover apple crumble as its freezing here.

Watching Eurovision heats before the appentice.

Waves at night - Ou going ok but slowly ( need to make more of an effort now bit better).

smee Tue 14-May-13 20:20:48

grin at the idea of MAS drawing lots of bums and willies!

Yay for Coorong. Does that mean you need to apply for other jobs, or can you stick where you are? smile

Waving to Night. Lovely to see you. don't worry about keeping up, just drop in anytime. smile

Malt, it's so v.tough waiting like you are. I know we keep saying it and it must sound odd, but it honestly will get better once you've got all your results and it's just the treatment to hurdle through. x

Wish I was at Topsy's house for curry. We've got boring pasta. Yawn..

sandripples Tue 14-May-13 20:24:37

Malt - sympathy from me too. I had a long wait due to being Dx in early December but having Ozzie friends already booked to come for Christmas. My surgeon said waiting till early Jan wd make no difference to the cancer. So after a wild Ozzie Xmas, on 7 Jan I was up ready at 6.30 - but lo and behold a 2 foot layer of snow had fallen - surgeon couldn't get to the hospital and after a whole morning of uncertainty my op was cancelled! Then I had to wait to find out when it could be re-scheduled for - it was 2 weeks later. And then I was on a ward with all sorts of patients whose ops had been disrupted by the snow and unfortunately had various forms of mental illness - when I retire I'm going to write a play based on those days...

Anyway, I just wanted to say that a very close friend of mine (Oncology Advanced Practitioner Nurse) also told me the wait wouldn't make any difference - which I found reassuring.

Hang on in there. (And crying helped me - release of tension and all that)

Gigondas Tue 14-May-13 20:28:20

I often wish I was at topsy or hnd house as there is always wine

Coorong- that rap is catchy.

malteserzz Tue 14-May-13 20:55:18

Thank you for sharing and understanding x

malteserzz Tue 14-May-13 22:33:39

I'm going to bed hope everyone has a good nights sleep. Having my hair cut tomorrow ( tries not to think too deeply about this) and working in the afternoon. Trying to keep busy. Love to all and night night x

coorong Tue 14-May-13 22:35:05

gigs I think I might do a camel,rap for Eurovision 2014...... grin tomorrow it's migrations and hibernation, I think the students might be able to come up with their own rap .....

trice'meant to say glad to hear your daughter hi-hoed it off to school - well done. My daughters have bunk beds so more difficult to climb in with them - forces me to let the, grow up a bit! ....... Today I asked the, why polar bears are white, elder DD 7 surmised " because they eat white things" like flamingoes ... I thought that was brilliant!

KurriKurri Tue 14-May-13 23:10:04

HI all, - sorry to have been awol - I was staying with a friend for a long weekend helping her with a house move - sorting stuff etc. - I did post that I was going, but think it probably got missed by everyone in the change to a new thread! - so hope you didn't all think I'd run off with the milkman grin

I'm trying to catch up on all the posts, - quick glance through tells me Ash has escaped from jail so hooray for that smile

I'm just going to send love to all because it will take me a while to catch up, hugs and good thoughts for everyone who is going through a tough time atm. ((((Malt and trice))))

Our car is being a total bastard having gear box/clutch problems and threatening to need expensive repairs. <sigh>

smee Tue 14-May-13 23:40:23

Yay, Kurri's back. Had remembered you were with your friend, though belatedly. Thought you must have fallen into a box and dozed off or something. grin

coorong, v.sweet DD story. smile

jchocchip Wed 15-May-13 00:18:37

Hi kk glad you are back safely. sad about misbehaving car.
I fell asleep with the cat after tea, now I hope that I can get to sleep properly...

AshokanFarewell Wed 15-May-13 02:23:02

Wiiiide awake again here, hope this is not going to be a regular thing angry as already have broken sleep fom nocturnal bathroom visits, the upside is that I usually fall asleep again quite quickly.

The chocolate fudge cake was yummy and there's a slice left for the trolley smile

I hope everyone is sleeping soundly x

Good morning allsmile

Actually no, I hope you are all asleep, so the night passes faster.

CT scan at 10.30am to see if bone mets are floating about any other organs etc. No idea why I'm so bloody scared today but sleep is so far away its unreal.

My lovely Macmillan nurse called yesterday and she has reduced my steroids to 3 daily instead of 4. I'm so jumpy when I'm awake its awful, I talk very quickly too apparently.

I had a fall in our downstairs loo as well. Its a godsend of a room but it's too small to get the zimmer in and close the door so stupidhead decided to get to loo then leave it outside the closed door. Whereupon I got caught up in the little mat and down I went. I bumped my nose on the sink and I have a bruised finger but disgust in myself seems the main thing.

I hate this " downstairs living " lark, I feel so isolated in a house full of people. We had a lovely OT chap call to see if he could do anything with our bath so that once I can manage the stairs I can have a shower or, bliss, a bath. Sadly, with major moving of the whole bath this is a no go. I manage with bed washing but it's so not the same. Mrs lovely Macnurse has suggested a pamper day at the local hospice for a bath massage etc and I really want to give that a go.

Right hot chocolate time and hopefully a snooze before everyone is bustling about for work. xxx

Gigondas Wed 15-May-13 04:49:26

Good luck today earth- I don't blame you fr bring scared as you can't help but think what fresh bad news is there. You could turn it round snd think this will help diagnose what needs more psi relief edc so you don't GE left in hospital for a month again.

Grr about fall ( I know how wobbly I can be) -pa,ler massage sounds great Idea.

Hot choc and snooze sounds good idea.

I am up early as feel bit sick (probably end of bug) and its blowing a gale here so having a brew in kitchen before heading back to bed.

AshokanFarewell Wed 15-May-13 04:51:48

Hello EarthMother are you still awake? I've given up on sleep for now and moved to the sofa.

I found my CT scan very scary too, at the time I didn't realise they were looking for cancer <slightly dim> but I didn't like the idea of them being able to see inside me!

I shall take the night shift on the paranoia box for you and I hope your fears quieten down so you can get some sleep.

It's perfectly understandable to be scared but once they know exactly what's going on they can make the best plan for your treatment.

Ouch at the fall sad that must've been a nasty shock and I can completely empathise with the disgust, I get that a lot too. The pampering day sounds like a fab idea smile

AshokanFarewell Wed 15-May-13 04:53:07

Cross-posted hello gigs I hope you are feeling better and can get back to sleep soon! smile enjoy your brew

coorong Wed 15-May-13 06:26:56

Hello earth thoughts with you today - and i hope you can have a pamper day - if you're anything like me, I enjoy planning these things as much as having them. I just wish we had more streaming sunshine and less of this pitter patter rain. X

ash gigs having weird dreams here - think it was the post-rap wine and chocolate!

topsyturner Wed 15-May-13 08:03:27

Morning All

See the party shift was on last night !

Earth those steroids are a bugger aren't they ? I got so jittery and ragey at one point , I had to take some of my hoarded supply of Valium !

Ash when you can't sleep like that , I find its best to just give up and get up . Just try not to nap during today and you should be back on track tonight .

Gigs no chucking up please !
<passes bucket>

Any plans today ?
I'm planning on phoning the hospital to chase up my CT results apt , if it doesn't arrive in today's post !

trice Wed 15-May-13 08:17:00

I had a rough night too. It was pretty stormy weather here.

Good luck with your scan Earth, hope it shows you are moving in the right direction.

malteserzz Wed 15-May-13 08:17:05

Morning all
Earth good luck today
I slept ok but still feeling really crap about everything. I suppose that's normal. Still wondering why me and my family
No need to reply
Need to get my spark back a bit
Have a peaceful day everyone x

good luck with scan today earth and really hope you can get that bath massage -tht would be a lovely thing I'm sure. Eek about fall though-sad take care xxx
kk fab to see you !
smee you asked kindly about my hands and sadly I think that prickly is the way it is and nothing can be done really,apart from taking the prescribed pyridoxine - it could be loads worse though so there we are !
Saw baby rook yesterday at neighbour's house - he's eating more and looked bigger..still no flight feathers. Cat injecting going well- Smog doesn't seem to notice- he does sometimes move in mid prick but it all seems to be going in.

Gigondas Wed 15-May-13 08:58:27

tea and drugs seem to have fixed nausea. Feel tired but that is cos dead arm in night- the good news is bruising seems to have largely gone round neck .

smog seems to be a very calm sort mas so can't see jabs bothering him.

Kurri- nice you are back(did you get your lattes for helping?) but grr about car. How is old lady dog?

Malt- have you rung Macmillan as they might be able to suggest someone to talk to? Also have you thought any more about anti ds or anxiety drugs to help you thru next few weeks?

Waiting on supermarket order then working then off out to town to see therapist . Will be my first big trip post op so hope not too much.

Waves to ash,smee, coorong (can hardly wait for next rap), ned, trice , earth and anyone else.

Talking of Eurovision , I don't like to mention it but do you think bonnie has had work done....

malteserzz Wed 15-May-13 10:11:34

Gigs wonder if ringing Macmillan is a good idea, can't hurt I suppose thank you
Ash hope you are still asleep now ?
Trice did dd go to school ok this morning ?

Well that was the fastest hospital appointment ever. The passenger transport arrived before 9am, for 10.30am appointment. We got to the hospital which was eerily quiet and they called me in within 5 minutes.

I had the scan then had to sit for 10-15 minutes before they could take the canula out.

Transport came back straight away and we were back in the house before the stated appointment timeshock

I feel like I've crossed time and space somehow (spooky music playing)

Last time I had a hospital appointment I was there 4 hoursshock

I'm a bit concerned how sore my back and groin are today after yesterdays fall but all I can do is rest I guess and hope for the best.

It's my last tinzaparin injection tonight. They give it to you to prevent DVT's after being stuck in bed for a while and you have to take it for 28 days after surgery. The district nurses are happy for us to all take turns injecting me and it will be odd not doing them after today.

smee Wed 15-May-13 11:36:13

Good you're back, Earth. Good to get it done. Do you have to wait long for results? Rest up after that fall, sounds scary.

MAS, hands sound ouchy. Is it like pins and needles pain, or more nerve pain? must be distracting. We'll have to re-christen you Doolittle. grin

Gig, think you might be right on BT. She does look a bit pinched round the eyes. Don't overdo it or we'll send Amber round with the duct tape. <stern>

Malt, have you got a Breast Care Nurse? Mine is always lovely if I need a chat. Also, our hospital had a psychiatrist/ counsellor they could refer you to if you wanted to. I didn't go at diagnosis, but did when I was asking for preventative mastectomy and she was really good. Might be worth asking if your hospital has similar.

Bagels and scrambled eggs on the trolley. Hope everyone's okay out there. Ash, Trice are you having a good day??

Better get on and do some work. Yawn.. smile

Did anyone else listen to Front Row yesterday - v good thing about Eurovision -worth a listen again here

malteserzz Wed 15-May-13 11:51:11

I'm dashing off to work but just wante to say that I've just rang Macmillan who were helpful and kind of normalised everything if that makes sense? They said I could go through my gp and ask for a Macmillan nurse too
Have a good afternoon all

that's good malt. My GP said i could ask them for a Macmillan nurse too, but so far am having lots of support from my bcn.

topsyturner Wed 15-May-13 12:56:54

Yoo hoo everyone

Been out with HND this morning .
We had a lovely time .
She took me for breakfast at our fave French cafe . I had eggs Benedict and she had rarebit .

Then we wandered down the road to the bank (so I could pay DHs parking fine !)

Then we went and did a bit of shopping .
I bought a lovely bright green top from M&S in the sale , then HND (who is very bad) bought me a beautiful coral lacey t shirt !
I feel very spoiled today grin

Post has been , scan results apt Monday afternoon !

topsyturner Wed 15-May-13 12:58:28

Malt I would def get a Macmillan nurse assigned . The Macmillan centres also do basic yoga and relaxation courses too , that might help .

Earth hope you don't have to wait too long for results .

topsyturner Wed 15-May-13 12:59:41

Gigs how very dare you even suggest that Bonnie has had work done ???
She is the very epitome of natural beauty ....... grin

smee Wed 15-May-13 13:07:55

Just googled for Bonnie. Twice a year for 15 years?! Nice orange picture for you too, Gig. Though am not sure she's your type. grin

smee Wed 15-May-13 13:25:30

Heck, Topsy that's soon. Though good that you don't have to wait. Hurling galaxy counters onto the trolley for you. xx

Lonecatwithkitten Wed 15-May-13 13:37:37

Hello ladies I'm back the admitting papers have arrived from the hospital and I have realised I have to pulled my head up out of the sand. I have whizz through some of your posts and you all appear on good form.
The rest of my life has imploded so it has been very easy to forget and actually only three people know I am having surgery, but actually I haven't actually arranged for anyone to take me to and from the hospital. I hate being a burden to anyone and don't even know who I do or don't want there. I have managed to arrange a cover up at work by slightly extending my holiday.

KurriKurri Wed 15-May-13 13:44:26

Afternoon all, - sorry to see so many had a disturbed night sad - Earth fall sounds nasty and I totally understand how cross-making it is when something like that happens. The massage and pamper day sounds like a good thing smile

Malt - I think MacMillan nurse sounds like a very good idea - in any dealings I have had with them they have been great.

Gigs - hope you have stopped feeling sick now - these sicky bugs are horrible. I had a good few lattes at my friends grin plus a certain amount of cake. She's moving to live near where my son lives, so I'll be able to visit her when I visit him (so really only 40 miles away) - but it feels like a long way because I am used to seeing her a couple of times a week.

topsy - get you and HND and your French cafes for breakfast grin It is very like a French cafe chez Kurri - I have just had a cup a soup and slightly stake slice of bread grin Lots of luck for Monday - will have all my good vibes stacked up ready to send your way.

MAS - sorry about hands sad - it s such a nuisance for you, I hope they improve a bit soon.

I've got bloody shingles again sad angry - I'm so fed up, and I made a complete tit of myself and cried at the doctor - I was fine until he said 'oh you poor thing you keep getting them don't you' when I promptly burst into to tears and said 'c-c-c-c-can have something for pain management p-p-p-please?' he must think I am a total idiot. I'm, just so bloody fed up of getting bloody shingles, and I can't handle people being nice to me at the best of times!grin

Can I just say 'bloody shingles' one more time? grrrrrrrrrr angry

Anyway enough of my moaning, lots of love to everyone, old lady dog is OK, a bit doddery, but doddery is her default position these daysgrin

Is it just me or is the Bonnie Tyler song about as dire as it gets - even for Eurovision? I predict nil points again.

KurriKurri Wed 15-May-13 13:47:36

x-posted Lonecat - lovely to see you, and loads of luck with your op. - Would it be possible for you to arrange hospital transport if you don't necessarily want anyone you know taking you? - Might be worth ringing and finding out if that is an option. Sorry to hear things are not too good in other areas of life sad xx

smee Wed 15-May-13 14:24:33

G'ah to Shingles, Kurri. You weep away. What did the GP give you for the pain? Hope something mighty.

Interesting thing on R4 said even if we put the Rolling Stones in as our Eurovision entry we'd get nil points, as the rest of Europe hate us atm. Can't say I blame them..

Waving to Lone. V.lovely to see you. When is your op? Must be soon.

Copthallresident Wed 15-May-13 14:32:40

It was a stormy night for everyone then. I would have posted but ipad was out of juice and I was too busy with paroxysms of coughing and wetting myself blush. I have had a little niggly cough for a couple of months now but last night it got encouraged into high drama by the windy weather (and probably bought it on myself with all worrying and sleeplessness). Just off to empty Boots of cough medicines especially the ones that say Beware make you drowsy. Tonight it will be me, Don, Peggy and Benylin grin

Ash Sorry it kept you up again. Can you speak to your bowel nurse, it seems to have been behaving very erratically

Earth How annoying, When you have accidents like that where there is a feeling of culpability it really is so annoying and you just want to turn the clock back, I am a Klutz so plenty of experience. Glad your appointment went well, though given usual state of hospitals it does sound like you entered the TWILIGHT ZONE do do do do grin

malt glad Macmillan nurses helped

Lonecat I am sorry the rest of your life has imploded, arsey DH and OW? If you really want to do this alone, and I sympathise sometimes I do just want to get these things over with minimum drama and fuss so I can pretend it never happened, then hospital should be able to arrange a taxi that will be used to dropping home from hospital. You might find you would prefer someone with you when it comes to it though, do you know someone who could help who can be relied on not to head tilt etc. ?

KK Welcome back! Did you have a great deal of chocolate and wine with friend?

gigs Enjoy your day in town. Hope it isn't too much.

I agree Bonnie's durge song is not a vote winner. It is like she has taken all the ingredients of Holding Out for a Hero and put them into a liquidiser and what has come out is boring gunge, but with screeching, and botox, and very possibly hair extensions... I will still be watching though, perhaps she will whip her skirt off to get some votesgrin

also waving to lone and bah about horrible shingles again kk - that is rotten.

Copthallresident Wed 15-May-13 14:36:53

KK x posted. I think you are allowed to say something stronger about shingles. It must really wear you down, coming and going.

I would come on box for Topsy but if I try to talk or laugh it sets coughing and weeing off and I am not good company. But I have EVERYTHING crossed for Monday grin

Copthallresident Wed 15-May-13 14:40:37

Yes smee I think the only thing that could win it for us would be the Hoff grin though that would be unfair

KurriKurri Wed 15-May-13 14:49:47

I agree Copt - Bonnie's only hope is to whip of her tight leather trousers, - it is a very poor song - but as you say Smee, - it wouldn't matter who we put in we'd still come last. The only tension in the voting is to see by how far we come last grin

Good thought to the exam girl Copt. - hope she is bit calmer today. My D has dyslexia so I have been there with the exam stuff - it sucks (actually exam time sucks even if your DC doesn't have dyslexia it is v.stressful) Hope your DD can find a way to manage and go on to University, my DS decided not to go to University (although he had the grades) as he had had enough of being in a system where he constantly felt like a failure, because he couldn't write things down and had to deal with ignorant teachers telling him he was either dim or lazy (despite having a statement) hmm. Hopefully things have improved a bit since then.

Smee - I have acyclovir (Massive horse pills), amytriptiline and high strength co codomol, with instructions to ring him if that doesn't do the trick and he'll up the dosage of everything (clearly he is in a panic that I may come in and cry all over him again - he was doctor 'Nice but slightly thrown by crying old bat in his surgery' grin)

I may have consumed a large number of Thorntons 'special offer in Sainsbo's' chocolates with my friend - and v.nice they were too (all soft centres so I still have my fillings intact!)

I am making a broccoli risotto tonight, with extreme quantities of parmesan and garlic! grin

The fall was scary as all hell not least because of the broken hip which meant a pin down the femur operation and which I had no recollection of hurting. Apparently my osteo-porosis is very severe which means my bones are super dooper fragile anyway.

There is also something cartoonish about about falling over in the loo which makes people snigger, well my grandson was the only one who sniggered but stillangry.

My consultant is away at conferences next week so i won't know anything until the 24th, a week Friday, a lifetime away.

Everything seems to be based on waiting around before we can begin getting better (hopefully)

On a massive plus, actually its the only plus but with DD2 planning her wedding for next June the simple pleasures of googling wedding favours and invites is keeping me sane.

smee Wed 15-May-13 15:02:21

Vampires trembling near you then, Kurri. grin Glad you've got horse pills. How long does it usually take for shingles to die down?? Seems massively unfair that you keep getting them. sad

Copt, how many more exams has DD got to go? Is it just the start?

And MAS, how's DS getting on? Hope okay. I'm sure he's got wondrous snacks to fuel his brain. You're so very good at all of that. smile

Just wondering if anyone knows anything about hormone switching? My team have changed their mind on changing me from Tamoxifen to Letrozole. Surgeon thought Letrozole made more sense now I'm post menopausal, but Onc says it's better to have Tamoxifen for the full 5 years, then switch onto an AI drug after that. That way I get up to 10 years of hormone therapy, whereas switching now would reduce that. Also as I'm apparently still a young woman (ha!), it delays the potential bone thinning effects of the AI drugs. Has anyone else explored all of this? Seems to make sense and Surgeon's now agreeing with Onc, but both they admit they're working in the dark as it's all quite new.

trice Wed 15-May-13 15:51:18

I have been out to lunch with a good friend who is four days overdue with her first baby. It was lovely to talk about cracked nipples and infacol for a change.

She is a long term anxiety sufferer, so she was able to recommend some meditation apps on the phone. I am going to have a go and see if any of them suit me.

I have bought myself a treat in the form of an adult colouring book (not rude!) and a set of posh art pens. I may let my dd colour it in with me if she continues to be lovely.

Poo to shingles, bad falls, poorly dogs, sore hands and crappy exes. Yay to macmillan nurses, decent drugs and wedding frippery.

sounds sensible smee to do the full course of tamoxifen,then switch over - and yes, you are a young woman !!
T seem to be fine and dandy - no exams until Monday now- but he's still having his snacks ! He has made inroads into the new loaf of chollah anyway.
Off to inject Smog...

actually that makes me sound like a drug addict...

coorong Wed 15-May-13 18:12:55

grin at mas smoghead

Copthallresident Wed 15-May-13 18:18:16

smee She has had three now, five to go, next one Friday, three next week, last one 6 June. At least there aren't as many as GCSE, and it is all subjects she is good at. I just wish I had lined up some more hypnotherapy sessions beforehand as they really helped last time. I was a bit sceptical, but it seems to be mainly mindfulness and coping strategies rather than actually hypnotising her and making her take her clothes off in the exam or whatever (now that would be a coping strategy grin) but she feels she hasn't time now, so it is just me left to try and keep things calm.....

KK It did seem to have changed. Little Copt has had a lot of support from teachers and has confidence she is clever, and really loves history , literature etc. and really wants to go to university, as she says I love studying, I just hate learning. It is just that so often it all goes wrong in the exam, but as you say it affects anyone who is likely to be anxious. She has however had to cope with some of the nasty pieces of work in her very bitchy year saying she was stupid sad and now it seems Gove is determined to join in the same sort of ignorant treatment of people with learning difficulties angry

Mas How is T getting on, and any other DCs sitting exams? Loved your advice on Facebook and friend who is teacher with GCSE pupils has shared it (she should probably pay you hmm)

smee Dr Geek did go through the statistics with me and the trial was based on following on from Tamoxifen which was what he proposed as my treatment plan until it was ambushed by my creaky hips. Obviously, especially as we are tumour twinnies I think you should consider the affect on bone density. I don't know when mine passed into the risky category, but it must be a good thing that Tamoxifen staved it off for five years

amberlight Wed 15-May-13 18:58:42 Smee, that might be interesting to read.

'Evening all. Waving at everyone. Reading through.

malteserzz Wed 15-May-13 19:06:49

Evening all not sure I can keep up with everyone's posts though I have read. First afternoon back at work since dx and all went ok though I had moments of can I do this and is this really happening to me? But children lovely and nice to be back. Then straight to ds football tournament so knackered now I think it's tiring putting the brave face on sometimes
Hope everyone has a good evening, bath and apprentice for me

Loads of luck to junior copt !
T seems to be coping ok,I think (I hope !) he certainly seems quite cheery.

Lonecatwithkitten Wed 15-May-13 19:43:55

Copt you as always hit the nail on the head it seems OW's alcoholism is infectious and ExH is now regularly drinking to excess and drink driving with DD in the car. I'm probably going to have restrict his contact under the Children's Act so this is going to get really messy and end up in court. I have wanted to avoid the messiness and court, but I have to protect DD.
My op is on 27th June, I do have a couple of non-head tilting friends. In is booked for day surgery so if I come home that day I need another adult with me for the next 18 hours. I say if as I am a profuse vomiter post op and have several supposed day surgeries never yet been discharged the same day the worst one I was in for 4 days post op. the surgeon is very blasé oh the anaesthetist will fix that, but I know I have had every anaesthetic, premed combination out there and the only thing that prevented the vomiting was 36 hours straight on high dose morphine. I am the lady who only just missed vomiting over her new born baby so not even a spinal block helps.

Loads of good luck to copt dd - hope everything goes well exam- wise- my boy is ok I think smile
Apprentice night !!! Am very happy about that.

Sorry- repeated myself as am on iPad and couldn't see if I'd sent first one - Grr
The prospect of vomiting must be horrid lone

smee Wed 15-May-13 20:32:45

Lone, I so get that about being vomitty. I'm seem to defy the anaesthetist's magic drugs too. What a sod about your ex. Must be very tough to deal with all that as well as an op. sad

MAS, glad DS's doing okay. Love the idea of you as a drug dealer. grin

Hope little Copt sleeps well tonight. Least she gets a day to revise before the next one.

Malt, bet the time flew by at school, but yes very tiring to wear brave face. Hope you sleep well x smile

Amber, that's a v.interesting article. There's quite a lot of evidence that AI's have better performance, but I hadn't read that one. V.recent! might send Onc your link and ask for her take. She's good at talking it through so will see what she says.

Kurri, how are you on the horse pills? Hopefully functioning or if not blissfully asleep. smile

KurriKurri Wed 15-May-13 22:14:24

hmm - I'm taking the horse pills, but a second rash has appeared to go with the one on my face/head, I've now got a lovely crop of painful blisters on my side. sad - I've got double shingles sad - I didn't even know that was possible but apparently it is. Bugger.

Smee - the sticking with tamox for five years seems like a sensible option - you may as well get the maximum amount of therapy you can, but I am very ignorant about it all and probably talking out of the top of my head. I will read your article amber when I'm feeling less fuzzy!

Lone - vomitty after anaesthesia is horrible (I get it to a mild degree - no where near what you are describing, and that is bad enough, so massive sympathies.

trice - enjoy your colouring books, DD got me some of those after I had my mastectomy - I loved them, and they really helped with getting back fine motor control after the op. And very relaxing - what are yours pictures of? - I think had some sort of art deco design ones, and some celtic designs.

Malt - well done on getting through frist day back at work, - it is hard to keep up the cheerful face, but I think you are sensible to go back - it will help the time until your op pass a bit more quickly.

Copt = Gove is a loathsome individual, - I'm sorry your Dd has had probs with nasty students at school though - that is mean, bit good luck to her, she sounds determined, and I'm sure she'll get there smile

good luck to T for his exams too MAS and any other exam DC.

Anyway - am going to watch the apprentice which i recorded earlier and then go to bed. Am feeling very sore and sorry for myself. Whiiiiiiiiiiinge. grin

smee Wed 15-May-13 22:44:16

Whiiiiinge away, Kurri. My-oh-my that sounds grim. Gentle hugs from me. Hope the horse pills let you sleep. xx

Night all. Am off to switch summer duvet to winter. DH not here. Am feeling March not May. hmm

malteserzz Thu 16-May-13 06:56:53

Kurri sounds painful hope you got some sleep ?
I slept ok still tablet induced though.
Got a whole day at work today which will hopefully stop me dwelling too much but bloody hard still.
Sun is shining hope everyone has a good day x

sunny here too- hope you have a good day malt and that *kk8 gets some relief from shingle effects sad\
Am off to have my Smog fix in a sec

topsyturner Thu 16-May-13 07:52:05

Morning All

KK you poor thing . You must feel rotten ? Hope the tabs kick in soon and work well for you x

HND and I are off to a funeral this morning . A friends mum died .

Hope everyone has a good day x

AshokanFarewell Thu 16-May-13 08:27:21

Good morning all,

malt have a good day at work smile

KK bloody shingles indeed, you poor thing. I hope you got some sleep and relief from the pain sad

lonecat I was very vomitty after my first surgery (morphine rather than GA) but now they give me ondansetron with morphine and that works - is that what they give you? If not you could suggest it. They can be reluctant to use it as it's quite powerful. It's no fun at all so hopefully they can get a handle on it. Ex and OW sound like a nightmare, so irresponsible to drink drive with your DD! angry

topsy and HND sad I hope the funeral goes well

smee hope you were warm enough in the night, tis rather chilly

MAS good luck with Smog

I slept a bit better last night but still awake for a few hours then woke up early. I tried listening to my yoga sleep thing but it made me unbearably tingly all over confused and I think is partly what stopped me sleeping for so long.

Hopefully going out for a bit this afternoon to nice town nearby as it's my aunt's last full day with us. It will include a visit to Lakeland grin

Have a lovely day everyone smile

trice Thu 16-May-13 09:23:28

Sun is shining. Sky is blue. I'm full of tramadol which is why I can't poo.

Sorry to bring down the tone.

topsyturner Thu 16-May-13 09:34:21

grin Trice
<passes pointy stick and bottle of dettol>

KurriKurri Thu 16-May-13 10:37:37

Morning all from the shingly one grin feeling a bit yuk and tired but OK, managed to dose myself up sufficiently to sleep last night.

Malt - hope today goes well, don't worry that you are having to take stuff to help you sleep, - whatever gets you through atm, you will be able to lessen the dose and come off them when you are feeling better.

topsy and HND - hope funeral goes as well as these things can sad

MAS - enjoy your smog fix grin (How is he by the way? - he seems to be doing OK despite the diabetes)

trice - I will also lower the tone and say glycerin suppositories are your friend in this situation. (I have codeine for the shingles so will be stocking up on all things unbungish)

Asho - have fun at Lakeland, they have very nice ginger licorice there which I love (although DD says its disgusting)

Lonecat - situation with Ex and OW must be a nightmare for you. I would honestly go for no unsupervised contact if he is drinking heavily, - what an idiot he is.

Smee - it is winter here again too - I have the heating on this morning and my thick fluffy socks. (I have other clothes on too - not just the socks! grin)

I'm going to spend the day knitting - I made my sister gloves for Christmas and she's lost one - so she needs a new left glove grin

Smog is very well and adorable - he is really no trouble (though mum might disagree !)
Hope funeral is bearable hnd and topsy

May I vent? So the lovely physio called this morning to try and wean me from a zimmer to walking sticks to give me a little more control over how quickly I can move with safety.

Dh puts his time n motion hat on and enquires why I can't just have a zimmer with wheels and a brake. "because they are mainly used for people who would never manage sticks and EMIN is doing fine as you can see"

"Yes but she could move easier and faster without all the walking up and down"

She began to answer him again when he interupted her again.

I caught her eye and in a slightly raised voice I said "Welcome to my world" Why is he being a twunt today. Make him stop, please, anyoneangry

Lonecatwithkitten Thu 16-May-13 12:05:56

Asho - enjoy Lakeland so many things to buy.

EMIN - You maybe need to point out the turning circle with a Zimmer frame and that with sticks. Also that mostly the idea with sticks is that there maybe a time when you only need one and you would have the marvel of being able to carry something.

KK - I am working through the steps to achieve reduce contact etc. It is just making sure we get everything right so that a court doesn't throw it out.

I spoke to the anaesthesia team this afternoon, they are reluctant to use morphine as the procedure doesn't warrant that and it is supposed to be day surgery. As vets we have a fab drug that blocks all vomiting in the brain and is fab you don't even feel nausea, but it's not avaliable for peoplesad. So they are going to put their thinking hats on and see what they can come up with.

what a shame you can't have the veterinary meds smile !

Hope ash has had fun in Lakeland ! Do they do candy floss machines there do you know ?
Am feeling a bit sick today,in fact probably have for the last few days -I guess it's my meds-things taste odd and my sense of smell seems quite enhanced too.

KurriKurri Thu 16-May-13 15:24:03

Earth - very frustrating of your DH! - but I suppose he is trying to be helpful in some way, hope you managed to get something worked out with the physio in the end smile

MAS - the odd tasting thing is definitely the chemo - I'm not sure what you can do about it though - I was told to eat strong tasting things to counteract it (and you might find that things which wouldn't normally appeal to your taste, do now) Have you got anything to take for sickness?

Lone - I hope they can come up with something that works for you, shame you can't have the vet meds. The court stuff must be very stressful - these things always take so long, and as you say you want to make sure there are no loopholes.

I foolishly tried to do a bit of gardening this afternoon (thought I would be more comfortable outside) but am now very exhausted and my head is hurting a lot. I've also just remembered I'm on tea rota for my keep fit class tomorrow, so will have to ring round so someone can do it for me.

Copthallresident Thu 16-May-13 16:57:16

Just had the best blow job dry of my life. I was very brave and tried a new hairdresser (going to the hairdresser is just as bad as the dentist for me) and she has made of my lank locks a gorgeous bouffant, walked back along Twickenham High street looking almost like glamorous trophy wife type (now all I need is a husband who realises I am a trophy) gazing sideways at my reflection in shop windows I am stupidly happy about it. I did consider asking for a Topsy but would have needed six months chemo to get the hair for it grin

earth I have a mental image of you being dragged down road by runaway zimmer with failed brakes, shouting at DH "It's all your fault". Vent away, sometimes DHs are not very good at the coping with this wife's illness lark.

KK what rotten luck to get it in two places. I know they can't tell you how long it will last when you first get it. DFIL (and he is a dear) was driven into deep depression by the not knowing when it would end but does a pattern emerge if it reoccurs? At least you now have tamed doctor into giving you whatever serious drugs you want grin

Lone Isn't there any chance of exH being caught drink driving? you really wouldn't risk it around here. What a complete a***hole. Can you try KKs approach to getting Morphine. They gave me morphine for my lumpectomy as well as my mastectomy, although not done as day case.

MAS The effect on your taste buds is horrible

Ash Very jealous of trip to Lakeland, may now have to go online and buy a new fruit manicuring implement to make my day complete...

trice and topsy Sorry but tone so lowered on this thread that poo jokes won't do it....

Where is gigs? Hope she didn't overdo it on trip to town

<flounces off swishing golden locks>

Copthallresident Thu 16-May-13 17:20:14

Also happy that had eyes tested and I have become more short sighted. As you get older you get more long sighted, Therefore I am getting younger grin

Gigondas Thu 16-May-13 17:21:03

I am lurking but at home cos can't match the hair display. Town ok but waking at 3am with crampy arm no fun.

Resting now as off out for anniversary dinner so need energy to scoff.

Waves to all and post properly later.

Copthallresident Thu 16-May-13 17:25:02

Don't worry , hair deflating by the minute grin

Grr about arm at 3am

Where are you going for scoffing? I could stalk

malteserzz Thu 16-May-13 17:37:04

Back from work knackered but felt better than yesterday and lovely to be with the children who took my mind of things slightly. Lovely friend at work had BC about 4 years ago so good to chat with her too
Topsy and HND hope the funeral went as well as it could
Ash what did you get from Lakeland?
Copy I bet you look fab!
Waves to everyone else I've been out all day I can't keep up !
Some good news today my smear test was normal I was stupidly 11 months late with that too so of course had convinced myself that was going to be bad news too!

Just had my 3 elderly aunts leave after a lovely afternoon with them. Funnily enough after first asking how I was doing and getting the health update out of the way I barely spoke for the rest of the afternoon.

Laughed, yes, snorted, definately, filled up, on a few occasions. The total age of these sweethearts must be around 230-240 years old and boy have they enjoyed life. Dh and I have marvelled at how young ladies grew up following ww2 by "keeping their hand on their halfpennies" and making a man the centre of their world once they married.

It has been truly heartwarming and I'm so pleased we managed the get-together. One other aunt is in a nursing home at the other end of the country and two of my former 6 aunts are no longer with us so it has been a rare day. (very happy tired sigh)

malteserzz Thu 16-May-13 18:03:40

Earth that sounds wonderful but also makes me feel quite teary. I'm glad you've had a good afternoon

jchocchip Thu 16-May-13 18:45:46

Hello peeps. On bus home from work. We have a film set in the council chamber next to my office and I had to stop walking downstairs with my salad as they said action and Jim Broadbent walked past...
Didn't sleep brilliantly last night hence late start late finish, will be out tomorrow night if I can find something to wear... will catch up later on silly phone now.

KurriKurri Thu 16-May-13 19:03:24

Copt - hair sounds brilliant, I am imagining this grin

Malt - glad you had good day at school - and good that you have an understanding colleague you can talk to.

Earth - your aunties sound fab, - so glad you had a lovely day with them smile

jchoc - ooh sounds exciting, do you know what the film is? (and can you accidently walk into shot and be in it?)

Enjoy your dinner Gigs. (Is it your wedding anniversary? - happy anniversary if it issmile)

topsyturner Thu 16-May-13 19:09:08

Evening All

Funeral was nice .
Made me more determined than ever though to leave plans set in stone for mine (hopefully many years away)
HND and I have decided I will have an open coffin . And when people lean over my coffin to say their final tearful goodbyes , they will be greeted by me in full Drag Queen make up !!!

Is it your wedding anniversary Gigs ? How many years ?
Hope Mr Gigs has bought you diamonds ...

Am very tired this evening .
And I have a headache .
It's prob cancer of the forehead grin
Grump , groan , moan ...

topsyturner Thu 16-May-13 19:10:06

<snorts peppermint tea out of nose at kks pic of cops hair>

arf @ that hair !
Happy Anniversary gig - yes,where are you going for dinner ?
malt glad you had a good day and have confidante in colleague
I have meds for sickness - the thought of taking my meds makes me feel heavy,even the water is hard to swallow.

malteserzz Thu 16-May-13 20:08:53

Just wrote a post and deleted it as it was too depressinggrin I've had a good day but now I'm tired and emotional
Gigs have a lovely dinner
Topsy hope your heads feeling better, early night ?
Jchoc wow fame!
Must get ds to bed now he's outside playing football with dh

coorong Thu 16-May-13 20:32:06

evening all - oh KK there are girls at my school who really would like to look like that
one more lesson and then I pass - doing a little happy dance and I'm so not looking forward to starting my NQT year in September .......

earth your aunts sound like the tonic we need from time to time - I hope you have another catch up soon.
topsy if you do you hair as kurri suggests you will get cancer of the forehead ...

And I'm another one who vomits at anything - the nitrous oxide they gave me in labour made me .... as did the morphine after the mx - they did find something to stop me throwing up, but I can't remember what it was - but not the one that made me faint... that was vile

but the sun is out, the rain has stopped and clouds are doing the funny "i'm not a thunderstorm dance" so life's not all bad

night to all - off to prepare my last lesson - PLANT OILS - no raps here I'm afraid

coorong Thu 16-May-13 20:33:02

malt tired and emotional is the euphemism for drunk politicians grin hope you manage to wrestle your boys inside!

trice Thu 16-May-13 20:54:08

Had a lovely arty evening with my dd. I even let her use my very special paper (the stuff I have been saving for a special occasion) and the glittery metallic art pens!

Malt, please be gentle with yourself, it will get easier. You are still in shock.

malteserzz Thu 16-May-13 21:04:14

Coorong well done you're nearly there then the fun starts, best job in the world
Trice sounds like a lovely evening. You're right I am in shock and trying to do everything as everyone keeps telling me I've got to make the most of feeling healthyhmm

NedSchneebly Thu 16-May-13 21:28:14

Evening lovelies smile

yay for coorong have you got a job lined up for September? malt si right, this is definitely where the fun begins!!

kurri sad for you about the bloody shingles. That is lousy for you. Don't worry about GP - I am sure they are well used to it, and anyway, its completely justified. Take it easy won't you? The horse pills making any difference?

thanks for Race for Life donation amber - youre a star! Any other takers? blush

good hair copt !!!! Hope DD bearing up OK - exam time is so stressful. My Year 1s have statutory phonics screening test on 17th June. Am stressed for them already. Seems mad to be testing 6 year olds. Bloody Gove, he is such a cock. . .

Got new iphone through but ITS BLOODY NOT WORKING! I have to wait for the SIM to be swapped over to my number or something confused But I can't wait. I want to play with it NOW!!

gig hows things tonight, lovely? Hope youre doing OK x x x Happy anniversary if its today smile

MAS any improvement on your hands? Thinking of you x x x

jchoc you name dropper, you! Any sign of anyone else famous??!

Hope everyone is OK today. Lots of love to all x x x

Copthallresident Thu 16-May-13 21:37:32

Ha ha kk sadly not the raw material, would take hair extensions AND hair scaffolding!

KurriKurri Thu 16-May-13 21:41:40

Ned my lovely - link me to your just giving page - I must have missed it when I was away, when are you doing RFL? xx

I am wondering if the hair woman in my link has normal hair, but a very tall head?

DD has e-mailed me a youtube episode of Kitchen Nightmares with 'shouty people' on it - off to watch with my horlicks grin

Copthallresident Thu 16-May-13 21:46:09

Ned, x posted, testing 6 year olds? I think he may manage to be both a cock and a female part of the anatomy that also starts with a C, the one that naughty Topsy has plastered across Facebook blush

NedSchneebly Thu 16-May-13 21:50:08

kurri thanks lovely smile Will PM you my linky. Am doing Race for Life this Sunday at Kingston Maurward, the agricultural college in Dorchester. Should be fun! Am doing it for all of you lovelies x x x

NedSchneebly Thu 16-May-13 21:54:02

X post. Its bollocks, copt All 5/6 year olds have to do this really crude assessment of whether kids can phonically decode/ read 40 real and made up words - made up ones like "scrood" or "pleme"- can they use their decoding skills to sound out the words? Its so crude and sometimes the brightest kids perform really badly because they can't get the reads around made up words. And the pass mark is 32/40 so not much margin for error. And any 6/7 year olds who failed it last year have to resit. Don'lt get me started angry

KurriKurri Thu 16-May-13 21:55:29

Oh I have been to Kingston Maurwood Ned, (and my dad used to do things to do with bees there sometimes I think - he was a beekeeper) it's lovely there, have a lovely day - I will keep fingers crossed for warm but not too hot weather smile

malteserzz Fri 17-May-13 06:35:30

Morning all, agree totally about the phonics check. Often they can sound out the word but then they try to make it into a real word as that's what they're used to doing
Not a good nights sleep despite tablet, woke up at 3 and have only dozed since then I'm wondering if it's because I didn't eat much yesterday have lost my appetite for the first time
Off on a school trip today too
Hope you all have a good day x

amberlight Fri 17-May-13 06:56:47

Overexcited here. Hired teachers for the new autism school being built. No mad phonics tests for us. But there's the small matter of the school being a flat site ....the units being built in Belfast and shipped over, and there being 3 months to get it running. And I have to drive past the hospital and hospice to get there, which is a bit eek.Mixed emotions. But worth it.
I'll put a brew on for people.

notJenkins Fri 17-May-13 07:02:27

Good morning from me. Sunny day here and off for a walk round the harbour with the hounds. Making the most of my time before I am back to work full time.

Gigondas Fri 17-May-13 07:14:20


Morning all- had lovely meal at river cafe (anniversary proper is Sunday). Off to see dr lovely later to review pain meds.

Glad you teachers think phonics is bollox as I find it baffling and big gig struggles with some of made up words.

trice Fri 17-May-13 07:30:12

I am very envious of your trip to river cafe Gig. Was it delicious? I hope dr lovely comes up with the goods.

My mum is coming over this morning. I am looking forward to it.

ooh,River Cafe - how lovely !

topsyturner Fri 17-May-13 08:45:48

Morning All

Don't lose any kids on the trip Malt grin

Gigs dinner sounds lovely , what did you bring me back in the doggy bag ?

It's a beautiful sunny day here .
Hope it lasts , I've got washing to go out .

Still got Cancer of the Forehead grin
And also coming down with pneumonia a cold .
Think I need comfort food .
Who's going to Reuben's for me then ?

Pig/dog has taken root by the living room window and is growling at any murderers one unfortunate enough to walk by ...

poor topsy -will wine help (later,obviously ?)
Hope pig/dog can be a comfort...he's obviously looking out for you.
Have just made an appointment for T's prom wear hire fitting- I'm thinking a nice white jacket (though he is dreadfully messy) and he has fab new Converses to go with it so shouldn't feel too formal. There's an after prom party in a field at the back of a house in nearby village which he is contemplating...
This nausea thing is weird- why would it happen after nearly 8 months on chemo ?

Gigondas Fri 17-May-13 10:43:32

I think so sometimes side effects can catch you when you have lower resistance either as tired, run down or as chemo effects build up . Try to keep eating and drinking as I know it's hard when don't feel like it.

Afraid no room in doggy bag for lovely ice cream, langoustine risotto or asparagus grin. Even managed a wine (don't tell dr lovely ).

mmm,langoustine risotto -how delicious.
You might be right about chemo build up gig
Am meeting editor of joke book to hand over my artwork -we're having coffee at Waitrose -that might help.

smee Fri 17-May-13 10:52:24

Phonics test would have been roundly failed by my DS am sure, but Gig more importantly what did you eat..?? Would love to go to River Cafe..

MAS, nausea's so v.horrid. Invades everything you do as it brings you down so. Could you call BCN and ask for advice? It might be as simple as changing a tablet. I used to chew mild gum and that seemed to help. Also nibbling on apricots and almonds, though have no idea why. Love the sound of DS's prom outfit. grin

Have a nice time with your mum, Trice.

Yay for Coorong nearly being qualified, though no rap on a Friday?! shock

Topsy, headache's stress maybe? Can't be a coincidence your scan results are on Monday. wine might be the antidote. x

Malt, hope the trip's somewhere warm and fun.

Sending little Copt good exam vibes. hope she's not too stressed.

I took a sleeping pill as was so fed up. Still woke up lots, but did get back to sleep more, so that's a relief. Had a weird dream that I was married to Stephen Fry.. I do like him, but clearly wrong. grin

Gigondas Fri 17-May-13 10:52:54

I think so sometimes side effects can catch you when you have lower resistance either as tired, run down or as chemo effects build up . Try to keep eating and drinking as I know it's hard when don't feel like it.

Afraid no room in doggy bag for lovely ice cream, langoustine risotto or asparagus grin. Even managed a wine (don't tell dr lovely ).

smee Fri 17-May-13 10:53:04

x-posted. Mmmm... Good luck with Dr Lovely, Gig. smile

minty chewing gum is good...

Gigondas Fri 17-May-13 10:56:23

Smee x posted - was v yum.

Topsy - pre Appt jitters are a bastard. wine Orange men eurovision and firm seat on paranoia box for you. Am seeing onc on Tuesday to discuss radio but always anxious as wonder what will say (comes of having unpleasant surprise about needing neck op so no wonder paranoia flourishes).

smee Fri 17-May-13 11:13:20

Forgot to ask Kurri, how's the shingles? Did the pills keep the pain at bay?

Amber, that's fab on the new school. When's it opening? Must be mighty stressful.

Copthallresident Fri 17-May-13 11:45:05


Reuben's brekkie selection for topsy and bum on paranoia box for all.

Alarm just went off and woman's hour is on with annoying patronising woman going on about cancer and diet, blue green algae , magic mushrooms , it's not ok to eat chips, mars bars.......hmm Jennifer was humouring her. Underlying points about diet not wrong but as soon as people start being dogmatic I switch off. It was Sheila somebody or other? Though I went through a phase of being a bit extreme on diet so don't blame her. it is something you can do, when the treatment is such an assault. Friends and I spent a fortune on magic mushrooms but think other druggy ones would have done as much good grin Jenny mentioned Manchester study between nutritionists and oncys, might check that out. Not really what I want to hear first thing Jenny

Bit of a late night / early morning with little Copt being anxious but actually just needed a little reassurance. It is English and she has really enjoyed the syllabus and even the revision plus it is open book. <hopes for good exam>

mas perhaps body is telling you it doesn't like it. I got to the point where I felt sick just driving past the hospital . But could be one of the bugs going around , I would check with your team.

Mmm white jacket in after prom party in field might be a bit of a risk. When I turned up at 4am to pick Big Copt up from her prom the pavement outside the door was a war zone, bodies everywhere and attention seeking drama queens staging mega dramatics. Most of them had great time without taking it too far, sure T will but you can't rely on the others, it can be a bit messy......

gigs very jealous of river cafe, DH booked it not long ago then decided it was too expensive angry he doesn't really enjoy expensive restaurants partly cos a lot of eating out with work so I don't get to enjoy them hmm so I go with friends grin

malt I couldn't eat much at all in first weeks after diagnosis, which was most out of character.

Ned and all. Phonics thing sounds as mumbo jumbo as new policy on extra time for those with learning difficulties. Little Copt had an early intervention in Year 2 \3 because look /see was never going to work for her and learnt to read with phonics but used phonics and the sense of the sentence and context to arrive at a real word so she would not have passed, possibly not even now... I could also get started on what he did to last years GCSE cohort, all those pupils coming out of all the schools around here, state and private , tight lipped and holding back tears. Also new jingoism History curriculum, undoing all the good that has been done in the development of the teaching of History in the last thirty years angry my History Department is beyond angry specialising as it does in everything he is going to exclude, in fact most of the History now studied at universities is excluded from his silly curriculum so what sort of preparation will it be for university study, if that is , anyone has managed to stay interested in History after 11years of relentless chronology and facts..... But what would I know, I am clearly communist, and masters diss was on Chinese women in Shanghai in 20th c shock Exactly who does he think is going to be impressed with all this? I dont know anyone. maybe a few Colonel Blimps who sit at home reeking of stale wee whilst getting overexcited reading the daily mail and telegraph?

One thing though, it has united most people, quite rightly in support of our wonderful teachers and education professionals, appreciated all the more for being thrown into relief by people who clearly do not give a damn about children.

amber your school sounds very exciting. Is it a free school?

amberlight Fri 17-May-13 11:49:30

Gigs, aye re the oncoming rads appointment. Everything crossed for you, Topsy, and everyone else with forthcoming doings.

In theory should be packing for holiday tomorrow (the week in wild Worcestershire to crash out), except I'm not.

Smee, opening in September. It's fantastic. We're over numbers already and having to turn pupils away. If people are on Twitter, follow the Principal Fiona Veitch to find out what we're up to and when, including the photos. Can we build a school in three months? Of course we can!! ^ <audience notes Ann seems madder than usual> ^

AshokanFarewell Fri 17-May-13 11:50:03

MAS are you on anti sickness medication? I am constantly dosed up on them and lansoprazole otherwise I get lots of nausea. I hope it goes away soon! Prom outfit sounds fab.

gigs googled river cafe and it looks great, glad you enjoyed your meal and I hope Dr Lovely is helpful

smee grin at dream, glad the sleeping tablets helped.

malt enjoy the trip!

topsy hope your forehead cancer goes away soon. Nice that pig/dog is trying to protect you I suppose grin

trice have a lovely time with your mum

notJ hope you enjoyed your walk

amber yay for new teachers! smile

cop hope little cop's exam goes smoothly

KK hope you're feeling better this morning

My auntie has just gone home sad it's so lovely to see her and to have some different company.

I'm possibly going to Homebase later which will be today's outing. My ex (still can't get used to saying that sad) is coming over to watch a film this evening.

I slept better last night and was only awake for two hours, which I used to browse clothes online. I am trying to make up my mind about this leopard print top. Any thoughts?

I'm trying to embrace my new lopsided figure hmm as an opportunity to have a bit of a style overhaul. My shape has changed a lot so most of my clothes don't really fit/suit me anymore. I thought I'd be pleased to lose weight but I'm finding it a bit unsettling really. I think just because it is yet another change. But I think I will feel more positive about it when I'm exercising and a bit more toned up smile

Did anyone watch Eurovision semis yesterday? I thought Greece were brilliant!

I hope everyone is having a lovely morning smile

KurriKurri Fri 17-May-13 11:50:13

Morning all, sitting on paranoia box for all who need it (and I have more than enough bum to go round). Did you say brew amber? - yes please. smile New school sound v.exciting - but hard work!

topsy - it's good Pig/dog has no clue who is a burglar and who isn't is very protective of your household grin Old lady dog always behaves with embarrassing over familiarity to guests and tries to sit on their lap. One guy we had to stay once was just about to sit at the dinner table when she leapt into the chair he was going for. And he immediately said 'oh I'm so sorry is that her chair?' -no it isn't! she doesn't have a chair at the table, just thinks she ought to !!

MAS - I agree with chemo build up could be affecting you, but also you can just start getting a s/e you didn't have before (and I had several that I just had on one cycle then not again) and your body might be getting used to your nausea pills, - I think I had about 3 different types n the end - started with domperidone which worked for a couple of cycles then switched to the one that begins with 'o' I think, then onto cyclizine (which worked best for me) so def. ask to try something different. And I was told to just take the stuff regularly - don't wait until you feel sick, - pre empt it. Hope you feel better soon sweetie xx Love the sound of T's prom outfit - he will look

Gig - dinner at River Cafe sound lovely, good luck with Dr Lovely smile

Trice - have a great day with Mum.

Malt - I wish you a warm day and well behaved children for your trip.

NJ - have a nice walk with doggies.

Smee- are you having problems sleeping atm? - sorry to hear that it is miserable when you can't sleep.

Shingles are much the same - pretty painful - but maybe they would have been worse if no horse pills. The ones on my head hurt more but the rash is not so bad, the ones on my side aren't to bad pain wise but the rash is ugleeeeeeeeee and disgusting and seems to be increasing. I paint an attractive picture don't I? grin <paints plague sign on front door>
DD refers to me now as 'The old shingle weasel' - she is so caring grin

love to all - good luck to exam DC (MIniCopt for hers, and does T also have one today? and any others)

Am jumping on the box for those in it...
Poor shingly kk - it sounds really awful,I am sorry.
amber your school sounds amazing - how exciting -and hope you have a very lovely holiday.
I have domperidone but I suppose should be taking it all the time,not just when feeling sick...I am ok when eating so I shall just keep on scoffing.
That top is very nice ash - I get very unsettled by any changes to anything, and my body is no exception - I think you'll look really fab in that- I like the lace bit at the bottom.
copt I heard that woman on W's Hour - Sheila Dillon - I tweeted to say that I was stuffing myself with yogurt,despite the dairy bit and chemo nurse advising against live bacteria - I don't want to eat blue green algae particularly. Jenni Murray was having a latte !
Good luck with Dr lovely gig and much love to

KurriKurri Fri 17-May-13 14:24:03

Ash - I must have x-posted, - I like that top very much, it's very prettysmile

actually looking back I xposted with several people - I am such a slow typer blush - off to read my missed posts grin

MAS - you might need something instead of or as well as domperidone - worth asking? - are you actually vomiting or is it sort of waves of nausea? (thats what I used to get, not a lot of actual vomiting) some anti nausea things work on your stomach and others on your brain - and the different actions suit different people.

topsyturner Fri 17-May-13 15:37:00

Ash buy it !
A girl can never have enough leopard print (I have 4 pairs of leopard print shoes , and I recently drunk bought a faux fur leopard print coat off eBay grin )

Exhausted EMIN signing in. Have made (with grandsons help) Chicken and chorizo curry (seemed like a nice compination at the time) 18 raspberry and white chocolate muffins and a plate mince pie for DD2's fiancee. He loves my piesgrin

Dh is in the kitchen tidying up. Why, he plaintively bleats do I need to use every pot, pan and utensil in the house. I just dowink

I will pay for the increased activity, my back is sore now but hey ho thats what meds are forsmile

You took me back to my teens kk I had shingles when I was 14 and it is an awful thing.

Our two DD's are taking them off to a wedding ideas evening at our local hotel/golfcourse place. Very posh and very expensive but it will be informative as a starting point for next years nuptials. I have been told if I utter the words "now don't go signing anything" they won't bring photos back. Off to stir the currysmile

malteserzz Fri 17-May-13 15:51:29

Hi all
Had a fab day at the zoo the kids loved it and the sun shone I managed ok though did have a few depressing thoughts like will this be the last school trip I ever do
Ash great top I hope you've bought it by now?
Kurri hope the shingles start to feel better soon
Amber the school sounds great, will keep you busy I'm sure
Topsy hope your headache is going ?
MAS sorry about the nausea
Hi to everyone else

Still knackered, going out tonight for a meal with dh and friends which I really dont feel like at all but I know I'm better off keeping busy

Copthallresident Fri 17-May-13 16:01:43

Ash If you buy that top Little Copt will steal it off your back! It's lovely.

Just had a little wonder around that market town where Copt goes to school after dropping her off and may have bought two blue stripey tops (Keep off MAS) and some commodious shorts from Fat Face . No chance of nice weather now. Also a tomato destemmer from Lakeland. I can't say I have found destemming tomatoes with a knife that onerous, but where's the fun in that? It has twizzly thing, may have a play later, tomato salad for dinner!!

Strange Thai festival mounted by local travel agent in market square, thai food and beer but also lady entertainer who was evoking somewhere slightly different to idyllic island / beach holiday. The middle aged travel agent, and one very seedy looking man clearly enjoying the attention but wonder if that is the slightly niche market segment of tourist he was targeting hmm

Topsy Goon dog also thinks the road is full of terrorists and murderers, especially the postman, he savages the mail as it comes through the letterbox, all official documents go back from this house with teeth marks. However once through the door he is all over any visitors like a bad rash, especially women my age, girls the girls age and
men in hazard jackets. I have managed to train him not to jump up but he goes into squirming yelping overdrive and drops his revolting manky toys in their laps, even I keep thinking the filthy meercat is a dead rat......

Gigondas Fri 17-May-13 17:09:19

That top is lovely ash so but it.

Sounds like a good shopping trip copt( I like Lakeland). I think I will give Thai festivAl a miss- they are meant to be having a Brazilian carnival down there soon.

Also if you haven't tried Reuben's brownies you are in for a treat.

River cafe is lovely and worth expense (am usually a bit hmm about pricey restaurant as often think food/service isn't that much better than Thai at end of road but this is worth it).

Dr lovely was lovely (he actually said the phrase"make you feel better" which made me smile and is so un onc like). Is pleased with progress and doseage same but will review when radio starts.

Did a bit of shopping for birthday/ anniversary presents but won't post in case mr gig appears.

Kurri - grr re shingles but glad pain ok. It is just so draining when things hurt.

Malt- enjoy your night out. I remember the last ever thoughts too including a complete shopping ban for a while as no point buying as will be dead. It was a horrible period but necessary I think in getting head round situation.

Domperidone works well on the bleurgh odd taste nausea but as kurri says you need to take it regularly. Hope you are feeling little bbetter.

Cooking sounds lovely - earth.

Waves to smee amber trice ned hnd Gracie and anyone else have missed.

Copthallresident Fri 17-May-13 18:01:03

gigs doing the rounds of the world's red most notorious red light districts? That big gold Queen Victoria that overlooks the market square must be very unamused grin

Copthallresident Fri 17-May-13 18:08:59

Do you really think Reuben could have put out a Brownie and my chocolate antenna would have failed to get down there pronto! Last time he gave me an extra fatty gooey one especially. I'll pop down for some for the trolley tomorrow morning.

As he is closed Ill put out some of the Gu ones I. bought for little Copt as she is a very much whiter shade of pale after 3hr 7 min exam, told Dh " you don't understand I feel as if my brain has been raped" grin

coorong Fri 17-May-13 18:09:56

Evening all - am doing the happy dance of achievement and halving a wine. Would just like to say I stood behind jenny murray in waitrose the other week - did t clock the ENTIRE contents of her trolley, but I'm sure they don't sell blue green algae, or indeed any other variety ....

Glad to hear your trip went well malt how many times did you sing were going to the zoo" on the bus? kk hope your shingles are better - I have no experience of this, but I understand its incredibly painful, so I suspect the horse pills are probably helping. Did you meet the great Hugh? At river cottage gigs?
And agree on the phonics. Seems to be training children to lactually learn nonsense words. There are so many inconsistencies in English, why add to the confusion.

Oops, wine needs topping up 'Hic'

coorong Fri 17-May-13 18:11:28

Oh, and am intrigued you're having a brazillian festival copt .... One is intrigued .....

Gigondas Fri 17-May-13 18:32:46

Didn't think you would have missed it copt. Just me who was so slow on uptake . There is outrage here as mr gig and big gig have discovered I ate them all while they weren't here . Am at Ou seminar tomorrow so may have to get them up buy some for me.

River cafe is (was as one died ) two ladies - was place where Jamie Oliver worked. Have always been put off Hugh of river

Gigondas Fri 17-May-13 18:33:41

Cottage as is a big feature on gossip threads here for his less salubrious alleged habits.

It has to be wine time right?

coorong Fri 17-May-13 18:46:48

Oops gigs mixed cottage and cafe .... V.jealous anyway. Have ambitions to visit Raymond Blanc's place one day (to see the garden ) but suspect will be disappointed.

I wasn't in the UK when the cafe pioneered their style - but do r,ember reading about the women last year. I'd forgotten the connection with Jamie Oliver. Will check the gossip threads for HFW goss

topsyturner Fri 17-May-13 18:55:46

<wanders into thread and is now v v v intrigued to find out HFW's disgusting habits>

Off next door shortly for pub night with HND
Anyone fancy joining us ?

Gigondas Fri 17-May-13 19:28:55

Oh yes smile

The Hugh thing allegedly involves sleeping ladies' hair and a "something about Mary" type incident .

Copthallresident Fri 17-May-13 21:36:53

Well that's me on a google marathon grin

trice Fri 17-May-13 22:20:40

Hugh's mum did a Web chat on here once and appeared to be quite nice, good sense of humour etc. So I always cringe when the alleged nocturnal habits of her son are mentioned. She might be reading! Uggh!

notJenkins Fri 17-May-13 22:32:43

Omg HFW what a naughty boy. I have met him a couple of times and one meeting involved a rash and his salty sausage. Full story for a meet up I think.
What threads am I missing with such gossip on ?

jchocchip Fri 17-May-13 23:31:45

Hello everyone
Yay for fab day at zoo and dr lovely-onc
Lots of filming going on today in Council Chamber, its a bbc thing Great Train Robbery Coppers Tale. Been out tonight to Jamie's Italian - failed on the alcohol front as running tomorrow. nice non alco cocktail. Scrummy tiramisu.

malteserzz Fri 17-May-13 23:45:12

Made myself go out and had a lovely time better than sitting in sobbing on the sofa
Gigs no point shopping as will be dead is exactly where I am at the moment, in a weird way feel more normal that you've said that
Had lots of wine so better not have sleeping tablet
So might well be back at 3am
Night all x

malteserzz Sat 18-May-13 03:06:22

And I was right ! Fell into alcohol induced sleep but only for 2 hours hope everyone else is fast asleep

jchocchip Sat 18-May-13 05:23:03

was asleep but the cat got restless so got up to give him his breakfast and let him out!' Now I'm hungry and awake but don't want to get up yet...). Have you managed to settle again, malt?

malteserzz Sat 18-May-13 06:15:50

Yes thanks had a bit more sleep awake again now,blooming cat waking you up did you go back to sleep or get up ?

malteserzz Sat 18-May-13 06:53:33

Anyone up yet ? I can't get back to sleep, kids are at grandparents so could be having a lie in back in my old life. Does this get easier? I suppose it depends on what they find. Every day seems never ending at the moment, have good times but cancer and dying is in my mind all of the time it's crap.

Gigondas Sat 18-May-13 06:58:59

brew Malt? Mr gig got the big gig bug so feeling very yuck poor thing . Nice as I actually slept ok and feel ok for a change.

Can I make a suggestion for your weepy moments? Write down all your fears/bad thoughts. My specialist nurse suggested this. Writing down helps get them out your system. Also I could talk through them and a lot of them could be allayed by talking to someone who had seen the disease at close hand .

jchocchip Sat 18-May-13 08:13:57

Malt it does get easier. The odds are on your side. I saw some high figures for 20 year survival the other day - most people do have treatment and then carry on with life. Waiting is the worst bit. You will feel better after your op and results with a treatment plan in your hand.
Raining here. I did go back to sleep and now I must dash or I'll be late for parkrun...