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(996 Posts)

new thread - bring the trolley over here....

topsyturner Tue 19-Feb-13 14:28:15

Good luck at the surgeons kk
Hope the defoliation of your legs helps !

KurriKurri Tue 19-Feb-13 14:55:55

legs defoliated, and Dh has come up with the cunning plan of not wearing my prosthesis, but using my softie as that weighs less grin

MAS - will bear in mind your wedding invitation service, thank you smile

Whichever way it goes this afternoon - yay or nay - I am going to treat myself to a cappuchino and a giant cake afterwards grin

jchocchip Tue 19-Feb-13 15:02:24

Good luck kk, enjoy your cake!
We had a lovely day out - got riverbus from tate britain to tate modern and it was blue skies all the way. Tube to marylebone and now on train to B'ham. I'll be home in time for bed!

Lonecatwithkitten Tue 19-Feb-13 15:37:23

A lovely shiny new thread (breaths on the thread and polishes it with her sleeve).
KK have a lovely big bit of cake for me that is the only thing I miss as a coeliac is cake out is really poor - at home it's okay.
DD is delighted with herself as she got her Maths gold certificate today and went off to the childminders chuffed to bits.

jane sounds a fab day - am thinking we might walk from the South Bank to Tate Modern on Friday - then across wobbly bridge for T to see and photograph all his favourite buildings. Would really quite like to see the Lichtenstein exhibition too.
Well done to dd lonecat ! Gold certificate impressive grin

PenisColada Tue 19-Feb-13 17:06:10

Can I place my rocky road on the trolley ? Have dinner to cook and logs to stack. Be back later.

smee Tue 19-Feb-13 17:40:28

Waving from afar. Am at my parents. Will catch up, just grabbing my space on the sofa. Waiting for Kurri with cake xx smile

KurriKurri Tue 19-Feb-13 17:44:56

I'm back grin Plastic surgeon was so nice (she is a lovely person as well as being stunningly beautiful envy) anyway she said I had done really well with the weight loss and I was obviously trying very hard, but she said that because its a long op. and then you are lying in bed for a week afterwards, you have to be really fit, so she said to come back in six months and she'll put me on her list, but she said I only actually need to lose about another half a stone and to make an appointment sooner if I lose it before six months.

So I am chuffed - I had got myself into a state thinking they would throw me off the list, but she was so nice - she said she'd never do that, when it was obvious someone was really trying, and that a lot of people she tells to lose weight either lose nothing or put weight on.
yay -<excited> I can't wait to get rid of the monoboob look grin

Jane - sounds like a lovely day out, MAS are you going up to London this half term with T?

Lone - well done your DD, gold certificate very impressive smile

I shared cake with DH, actually I haven't had any cake for so long, that I struggled to eat half a bun <astonishment!!>, but I see Pen has put Rocky Road on the trolley - I'm sure I could squeeze a bit of that in grin

I have to go to a committee meeting for my art group tonight, so I shall miss Death in Paradise, will have to watch on catch up.

Has anyone been watching that programme about penguins, Spy in The Huddle, ?- it's brilliant, but it was really sad last night as one of the baby penguins died. sad

smee Tue 19-Feb-13 17:51:44

Ooh well done, Kurri. Cake all round then. Your surgeon sounds lovely, and your new breast will be too am sure. smile

Still got to catch up, but waving to all. smile

Gigondas Tue 19-Feb-13 17:52:58

Yay for kurri- marking place And will be back later.

AshokanFarewell Tue 19-Feb-13 20:03:21

Hi everyone, unfortunately someone in real life has identified me. It's not surprising really as I haven't been that careful with my details but I wasn't expecting anyone I know to be on Mumsnet! Anyway I don't really feel comfortable posting anymore but I wanted to thank you all so much for the wonderful support you've given me and I wish you all the best with your treatment/recovery/getting back to the new normal smile thanks I won't post again but I will pop back every so often to see how you are all getting on!

topsyturner Tue 19-Feb-13 20:08:44

Ach Ash
That's a bugger !
I'm sorry you feel the need to trigger the cloaking device smile
Anything we can help with , feel free to come and ask x

topsyturner Tue 19-Feb-13 20:10:47

Well that's quite good news kk
At least you weren't told to "never darken these doors again" grin
And 1/2 stone to lose ?
Pah , that's nothing !
<said through a mouthful of crumbs as Topsy snarfs a HND home made bannoffee cupcake>

oh ashokan that's a pain - you can always pm us if you need smile -take care and we're thinking of you.
Hooray for nice surgeon and for doing so brilliantly kk - you'll soon be perky on both sides. We're off to that London on Friday !
Waving to smee !
Am going to the secondary support group tomorrow. Hands feeling a bit dry and prickly, but not red at least.

Lonecatwithkitten Tue 19-Feb-13 22:37:34

Oh Ash sorry you have been spotted. It is possible to invoke the cloaking device and then be more careful - I have done itsmile.

What a shame ash. Do pop back and let us know how you are.

Sounds like a good appointment kurri. You will have 7lbs off in no time.

Just want to say huge thanks to Amber and whoever else mentioned vitamin d. Onc checked my levels at my request and he phoned to say I am very deficient so getting supplement prescribed.

Hope gigs is enjoying French France.

Kids off for half term so mumsnet time limited. Back soon.

jchocchip Tue 19-Feb-13 23:40:09

Well done kk - 7lbs sounds do-able... says me who has put about that back on today...
ash sorry to see you go, pop in again later if you can.
I've been up since 5.30am so I'm off to bed, hope I can get up in the morning smile

amberlight Wed 20-Feb-13 06:13:06

Ha, new thread! Excellent! Good news re Vit D test. Need to ring for my blood test results today.
Tea on the trolley, with other beverages and breakfast goodies

Lonecatwithkitten Wed 20-Feb-13 08:44:21

I've got my worry hat on today as we are now 13 days since core biopsies and no news. So I guess I'm going back to clinic next week. However I am due to go to mediation next Thursday at lunchtime and clinic day is Thursday next week. It is ExH and mine first session of mediation which are individual, but have to be on same day as mediator only works in our town one day a week. I don't want ExH to know about all of this until he has to as any platitudes from him will be meaningless. So what is more important getting the ball rolling with mediation to help sort out poor DD's issues or me going to clinic. All on top of the fact that I have full clinics and are somehow trying to keep this quiet at work so it does have an effect on the business.

snailsontour Wed 20-Feb-13 11:06:50

That's good news kurri - 7lbs is very doable isn't it!
Sorry to hear you've been 'identified' Ash, hope you can find a way around it as I have found online support so helpful.
Juggling all those balls must be very hard lone. I feel for you as you really are in an difficult position, no easy answer. Big argument for putting DD first, as that appointment is scheduled with your ExH, so changing that affects other peeps schedule. And your results, whatever they are, a weeks delay won't actually make any difference to treatment etc. but obviously you have all the worry and the waiting is awful!
I have an appointment this afternoon at the dressing clinic - this looks like it could be the unveiling of my new nippssmile

KurriKurri Wed 20-Feb-13 14:06:11

Afternoon all, thank you all for good thoughts regarding my recon. surgery goal smile

Ash - sorry you've been identified, I hope you can sort things out and come back to us, but if it takes a little while, good luck with your treatment - we'll be thinking of you smile

Lone - that is a difficult dilemma for you. I wonder if it is worth you phoning the hospital, you could speak to your breast care nurse and see if she can give you any info, explain the problem with the mediation meeting and she might be able to get the consultant to ring you or something.

amber - hope blood results are good.

Gig how was French France, - good I hope and warmer than here.

gracie - good you are getting a suplementm hope it makes you feel much better. Enjoy half term.

MAS - Be careful in that there London, with all those city folks rushing about grin Hang on to your purse (as my mother always used to say if I went anywhere with a population above double figures grin)

waving to everyone, I've been to yoga this morning which was nice, and -drum roll we have heating in our house again. They were supposed to come yesterday, but when they hadn't turned up by late afternoon Dh phoned them and they made up some guffy excuses, Dh said he didn't believe them and they were obviously making it all up, and he wanted moeny taken off our bill as we were COLD grin - and they turned up at 7.30 this morning. Old lady dog is basking beside the radiator looking very pleased with life grin

Lonecatwithkitten Wed 20-Feb-13 15:15:32

Thank you all. The consultant is on holiday hence so of the delay. I have never met a breast care nurse at the hospital all the liaison is through the consultant's practice manager - I go to one of the new Circle Hospitals which is more like an american hospital in structure than a UK one. I will try giving the practice manager a ring and see what she says.
KK glad you have heating back.

jchocchip Wed 20-Feb-13 16:50:54

Lone I think I changed my results day to fit in with my hols, just meant saw consultant the next day at a diff hospital so it is worth asking for more convenient appointment.
Yay for yoga and heating kk
Finished work early to go home to cat who is not used to empty house. He was quite stressed when I got back last night - tail as big as a loo brush! This morning tried to follow me to work but old ladies dog in park and barked at him.

oh dear lone -it's all very complicated trying to juggle stuff around...hope you can get through to consultant's office.
Hooray for heating kk !
Went to support group which was good - ate garibaldis.

PlentyOfFreeTime Wed 20-Feb-13 18:08:51

Half a stone is nothing KK. You'll get there in no time.

NedSchneebly Wed 20-Feb-13 19:38:00

Evening all smile Phew, found you all!

Had a lovely few days with parents, took DS to Marwell Zoo and saw Les Mis with DSis. I am convinced that Anne Hathaway modelled her short haircut on my current look. . .

Have taken the bull by the horns and emailed an old "friend" (known for 12 years) who I have had no contact from in 13 months shock DH is best mates with her DH (we introduced them) and my DH is keen to go and visit them in their new house with new baby at Easter. I couldn't go pretending that nothing had happened, so sent her a FB message last week, followed by a bland reply about how busy her life is, would we like to come and visit at Easter? confused so i sent one back saying I feel let down and disappointed that I haven't heard from her in over a year, and wanted to clear the air before we come up and stay. Will await a response. Sorry, that was really boring blush

Kurri YAY about helpful surgeon, even if she is completely skinny and gorgeous [jealous] 7 lbs in eminently do-able and such an achievement to have got this far. Chuffed to bits for you smile

How's half term going for all those with school-age DCs? Hope a lovely week is being had by all.

Have choc brownies for the trolley, and bagels with real butter for the non-chocolate consumers. LOts of love to all x x x x

Copthallresident Wed 20-Feb-13 19:44:04

KK I have to say that horrid Norovirus thing I had (apparently the velocity of the symptoms make this the most likely protagonist ) did in the end make me 10lbs lighter and with normal binge eating and drinking diet resumed I have kept 7lbs off. I am not recommending it in any way, it is right up there with the chemo diet, but just that it is a very achievable goal now.

Askokan sad Don't forget you can PM any or all of us if you feel the need to talk to people who have been there, done that. It really does make a difference to have people like that to talk to sometimes, I hope you can find a relevant support group but if not, we are entirely irrelevant irreverent and can be relied on not to head tilt or suggest a positive attitude.........

Lone That is difficult, I hope you can find a way to juggle. Delaying your appointment won't make a difference medically but only you know if you can handle it psychologically. It's so great you have got DH to mediation. Can you not explain situation to practise manager and ask what they suggest

Copthallresident Wed 20-Feb-13 20:04:00

Ooh Ned Now I have 7lb hole to fill grin

That is a difficult situation. I do now refuse to see DH's best friend but his now ex wife Cruella De Ville was only the start of it.

Half term here is being spent in bed and then saying can't go away, buy new school shoes etc because too busy...........Still only pyjamas to wash....... Also supermum here got her Kanye West tickets, only to realise whilst looking at Hello mag in Smiths at station, as you do, that I am funding that awful Kardashian thingy shock Hope she is reading this because I have the tickets here and am now only too happy to put them on ebay if there is any further instances of stalking..................

UserError Thu 21-Feb-13 02:03:15

Hi, I've been on tamoxifen threads in the past, but never really felt able to fully join in (nothing to do with you lovely ladies, it was more about how I was personally coping) I've namechanged a few times since then and can't remember what I called myself! Oops.

Bit about me: Lumpectomy, chemo, radiotherapy - all done (stage 3 ER+ breast cancer, no spread to lymph nodes) and now I'm about 10 months in to the standard 5 year course of tamoxifen. Except, I have a confession to make - I am utterly, utterly shite at taking it. I really am. I've probably not had a single week where I've remembered to take it every day. I know that's ridiculous, I know it's probably preventing the cancer from coming back, but there it is - I'm crap and I'm telling you this because it's probably relevant.

Recently, as in within the last two weeks, I've started getting a LOT of heart palpitations. I notice them the most of an evening when I'm sat down, or when I'm lying in bed, which I'm told is normal as you're more likely to notice them when not active. It's like an extra strong 'thump' in my chest/throat. I was wondering if anyone had had anything similar, or whether it's related to my being shit at remembering to take the tamoxifen? I don't have a hospital appointment until April and I hate going to my GP about stuff like this unless I absolutely have to.

UserError Thu 21-Feb-13 02:08:00

I forgot to add, I've had palpitations before when I had a PICC line in and that's when I was told it's normal to notice them more when not active. I'm having a LOT more now than I did then. I counted before and I had at least ten within about five minutes. No pain or any other worrying symptoms though. I should also add that I'm very fatigued, as in 'tried to go back to work following treatment and couldn't cope' type of fatigue. My GP has sent me for basic blood tests to try to find the cause of the fatigue, but no results yet because I haven't actually BEEN to book in for the test. I'm utterly crap, noticing a pattern? Heh.

UserError welcome back ! Am sorry to hear about the palpitations- am sure not related to tamoxifen being missed. Maybe anxiety ? I went through a thing of hearing the blood pulsing in my ears when not active- I think you can be just more aware of these things when at rest. Anyway, it's always wise to report anything that might be worrying you,otherwise you'll go on fretting. And have your blood test !
Half term sounds very jolly ned smile
Today I'll be sending a picture off and doing a bit of cleaning and I might make some stickers for a little relaxation !

Lonecatwithkitten Thu 21-Feb-13 09:29:44

As MAS says usererror have your blood test. Are you delaying as you are worried about what the results could be? There are lots of very mundane easily treatable things that could be causing you tiredness.
Is there a walk in blood clinic that you could go along to to get your bloods done without needing an appointment - so you could just do it today.
I sympathise about remembering to take meds I have to take some for another condition. I tend to keep them where they are very visible to remind me to take them - the current ones have to be taken with my main meal so they sit on the cookery book stand next to the cooker where I serve up the food.

KurriKurri Thu 21-Feb-13 10:54:36

Hi all -- welcome back UserError, - I echo what LoneCat and MAS have said - definitely book your blood test (Do it now gringrin <bossy emoticon>)
I had lots of problems during and after I'd finished my active treatment, I do remember heart palpitations and extreme fatigue. A lot of it can be put down to the aftereffects of treatment - the fatigue can last a long time, months, even into years. My blood tests showed I also had thyroid problems (which I'm pretty sure were caused by my chemo, although hospital evasive on this matter!) and thyroid trouble can give the symptoms you describe.

I'm not suggesting this is what you have, but it's definitely worth checking and if it is the case is relatively easily treated and will make you feel a whole lot better.

Also its worth having a look on google for info about fatigue after cancer treatment, I suffered for quite a while and had various tips given to me. Mainly to pace myself, - don't try to do too much in one go, if you are active for twenty minutes/half an hour sit down and rest and recover for fifteen minutes, and if you have amajor days activity - an event or something, understand that you wil need a couple of days recovery because you will feel whacked out afterwards, and allow for it (It's less frustrating if you go with the flow and plan for it)

Also make sure you have a good diet, and are eating properly, regularly and as healthily as possible, and try to do a little exercise each day - a walk or something, but don't overdo it.

Another thought that occured is that because you are taking your tamox a bit spasmodically that might be making you feel odd. It certainly does affect how you feel especially I found in the first year and a half of taking it. I put mine in one of those pill counter boxes, otherwise I'd forget all the time too! - I found it made a difference what time of day I too my tablet, my onc. suggested I swap to taking it mid evening, and that I made sure I took it at the same time each day, and that helped too.

Anyway good luck, but do discuss any problems you have with tamoxifen etc. with your BCN or onc or GP. don't suffer in silence, - often there are little things you can do that can help. And it does get better when you've been on it for a while smile

Good morning everyone else. Copt - thanks for the Norovirus diet tip grin - I need to lurk around someone who looks as if the are about to vomit grin But you are right, 7lb does feel achievable, I feel quite optimistic and excited about the whole thing now.

ned well done on calling out that woman, you are brave, it's important to clear the air with people. I've got a friend who actually had BC at more or less the same time as me (we were friends before, it was just an odd coincidence) and we met up regularly and e-mailed and supported each other. Then on our last meeting she said she didn't like being around people who'd had cancer, she wanted to feel normal again, and I haven't heard from her since sad although I've emailed, and written. Part of me thinks, well that's her choice, and part of me wonders if something has happened to her, - I'd just like to know that she's OK really. (And I am too much of a wuss to phone, because after all my letters etc. it will be very awkward, and I don't want to come over depserate!)

Hello PlentyofTime - thanks for your encouragement smile

have a good day everyone, hope all the kids are enjoying their half term.
I'm off to my art club this afternoon.

KurriKurri Thu 21-Feb-13 10:54:58

Oh gosh - sorry for the mammoth post!

UserError Thu 21-Feb-13 11:53:04

Thanks all. I'm going to book my blood test this afternoon, the medical centre is on the same street as my son's nursery so I have no excuse! I'm not putting it off because I'm worried. I'm just genuinely a bit of an idiot and if something is out of sight (i.e. the blood test booking form safely tucked away inside a notebook!) it's out of mind.

I think there are multiple reasons why I don't take the tamoxifen as regularly as I should. One of them is genuine forgetfulness. I do keep all my meds in a 7 day pill box, but I don't always keep the pill box in the same place! Another is resentment - this is going to sound ridiculous - but sometimes I'm all like 'You can't tell me what to do, I'm supposed to take this but I'm not going to and you can't make me, so nyeh.'. I know it's because I want to exert control over the uncontrollable, but knowing why I'm skipping doses doesn't fix the problem, if you see what I mean?

smee Thu 21-Feb-13 12:21:39

Waving from that madness otherwise known as half term. smile

Hi again User, not mad to mention resentfulness in taking Tamoxifen, I have definitely felt that. I have palpitations with intense hot flushes - does that sound familiar? Also though when I was about 10 months in I had a lot of breathlessness and went to a lovely acupunturist, who said I'd forgotten how to breathe. She was right too, as my breathing was incredibly shallow and panicked. She said she sees lots of women at about that stage with all manner of very real symptoms, but 9 times out of 10 they're anxiety related. Not surprising after all we've been through, but reassuring to know. Go for blood tests, but honestly I'd bet you're okay x

Failing to keep up on any level. Got to run now out with DS to his mate's, then onto a work meeting and back again to pick him up. Will try and do better soon, but hope everyone's okay out there. I got poo-ed on from a great height by a red panda on Tuesday. Is that a first?! grin

if it's any comfort,I sort of resent having to take my chemo drugs -esp. in the evenings,I forget about them until dh appears with the bg and a glass of water (bless him)

grin @ panda poo smee !!

Copthallresident Thu 21-Feb-13 13:13:43

User I definitely see what you mean, I am still resentful towards Cancer and what it did to my life and somehow the doctors and treatments get caught up in that. I did feel taking the Tamoxifen, and still supplements, a tyranny but then that was balanced by a compulsive obsessive / superstitious (I just had a dyslexic moment there, couldn't think of the word and had to google "not walking under ladders" grin) worry that disaster would follow if I forgot.

I still avoid the doctors until things become stupid. I actually just realised yesterday that the pain / clicking in my jaw that I thought was an ear infection has gone away. The nurse I was fobbed off with 12 months ago was very obnoxious and dismissive and said was jaw problem and I would have to go to the Dentist to sort it out. Obviously it was Cancer for sure wink and have had niggling worry, not to mention clicking and problems biting down, and occasionally poking around with fingers and finding numerous suspicious lumps, bumps and strange inner mouthly things, for last 12 months, but then wasn't going to give obnoxious nurse who should have sorted it out the satisfaction of forking out for a Dentist. hmm

However jaw was probably stress related, so perhaps seeing the dentist and not putting up with it and worrying for 12 months might have been a better approach? grin

I agree I don't think forgetting pills would give you palpitations, more likely reduce symptoms than create them. However it could be anxiety or there could be something they could do about it so it would definitely be worth not putting it off.

I think part of my problem is not having a doctor I have any sort of relationship with, and I am very jealous with everyone on here who seems to have Dr Lovelies, who actually care. Might that be part of the issue? I do keep meaning to go along with my snagging list grin, you know like you have for the builders, all the many things in your crumbling home that need sorting out, and then actually remember the name of who I saw, if they were nice, and try to build up a relationship. It is a really long snagging list and life would definitely be better if I got it addressed

Copthallresident Thu 21-Feb-13 13:26:40

smee We have priceless picture of Guy the Gorilla, remember him? at London zoo, having a pee on DB aged 6. But red pandas are way more rare and pretty grin

Report from half term front, STILL IN BLOODY BED! GET UP! < DD "just a few more minutes, you keep waking me up"> <jaw grinds and clicks>

Lone <Shamelessly seeks free vetinary advice> Why might Psychocat have started to nibble at my thesis? She sits on the table where it is strewn neatly piled and chomps away at the edges. She is on the same dry food she has been on for years so I can't think it is a deficient diet. Jealousy? A sudden fascination with Chinese and Latin American Literature? Worried that when the day comes to get it bound (admittedly probably not this century) I will miss some teeth marks............

UserError Thu 21-Feb-13 13:36:02

Copthrallresident, I think that's part of it - I don't have a wonderful doctor or any kind of medical person that I feel I have a decent patient/doctor relationship with. Ah well.

Lonecatwithkitten Thu 21-Feb-13 17:03:40

Hmm chewing a thesis no aware of any medical reason more likely jealousy than interest.

snailsontour Thu 21-Feb-13 18:29:15

Well done Ned for sticking your head above the parapet - I hope she responds soon!
Aren't peeps strange Kurri. What kind of a person shares the cancer ride with you and then dumps you at the end? I call that bizarre!
I've met up with 11 girls that shared the chemo journey with me that I met through the bcc forum, and they have gone on to become some of my dearest friends. Normal? What is normal? Ah well, I think it's her problem, very sad she feels that way.
Making meatballs here - so gotta dash - hmmm, smelling gorgeoussmile

PenisColada Thu 21-Feb-13 21:42:52

Just checking in. I forget my tablets all the time and need one of those old lady boxes to put them in. It takes me awhile to remember in the mornings that I am an ill person who needs tablets grin

ned well done for sending that email. If you get no response or a bad one sod her. You are not a woe is me type, far from it, and you are very good company so if she is being odd it is her loss.
One of my colleagues is being a bit odd with me and I would not have thought it of her so I am taking the sod her attitude.
My cancer Tourette's is lessening and I find it quite easy to resist shouting / posting inappropriate things when people are moaning about minor stuff. I feel it will return as I get closer to the treatment.

I am feeling almost 'normal' after the surgery. I seem to be in the no mans land between surgery and treatment knowing I will be feeling rubbish again soon.

I took the hooligan puppy out today by myself for the first time. He did not assault anyone so that was a bonus. The fact that I can't shout when he launches himself at someone to say hello was worrying me. He was quite good but then again I was on the beach at 7:30 and it was freezing so there was not many people about !
Still waiting to see ENT to see if my lack of shouting is permanent.

I have convinced myself I have foot cancer the last few days as my foot is sore. I haven't banged it so it must be a spread. Of course.

topsyturner Thu 21-Feb-13 22:26:29

People can be a bit weird about cancer .
I think they don't know how to react , so they just duck out if your life altogether .
I've had people turn on their heel and run in the opposite direction rather than speak to me like a relatively normal person !

DS got up today at 3.30pm !!!!
I was just about to go into his room and check wether he was dead , when he surfaced !

I'm off out tomorrow to the Friday market in town , and then for some lunch with a friend .
DH has an obsession with incense atm , and this market seems to be the only place to buy it over here .

Had a mad kitchen spring clean over the last couple of days .
Only problem is all my food larder cupboards are bare now , as I had to throw out all the tins and packets that were dated Pre 2010 ...

Will need to do a shop to restock .
So maybe a trip to the Asian supermarket may be in order .

Pig/dog sulking in the kitchen , giving me sad faces as DH has just gone to bed .
Pig/dog thinks his rightful place at night is resting his head on the pillow beside DH grin

topsyturner Thu 21-Feb-13 22:29:26

Hi User
I think the "forgetting" to take tablets thing is very much a denial thing .
As in "if I don't take the tabs , I'm not ill" !
I'm a head firmly buried in the sand kind of girl myself .
But you really so need to get on top of those tabs .
Maybe keep the pack beside your toothbrush , and take them when you brush your teeth at night ?

topsyturner Thu 21-Feb-13 22:30:38

And Pen , ALL aches and pains post diagnosis are "cancer-itis" grin

topsyturner Thu 21-Feb-13 22:32:18

Smee ???
Panda - pooed on , from a great height ?
Can I ask for a more thorough explanation ?
and for a link to the film of it happening ?

NedSchneebly Fri 22-Feb-13 09:05:40

Thanks for nice comments everyone - I do love you all. No response yet. . . I just feel a bit sad that I haven't heard from her and I guess I miss her a bit. But you're absolutely right pen I will have to adopt the "sod her" attitude. Her and her DH are my DSs godparents, but he has another set who are amazing, so no loss there! I showed email to DH and he said it was very sensible and honest and not bitchy or unkind at all, so I can't see how she would be upset by it, but I am still fretting that I have offended her. Will keep you posted.

pen Bet it was cold on the beach yesterday - brrrrrrrrrrrh! Twas bloody freezing here and we're inland! Glad hooligan puppy behaved for you. Do watch out for that paranoid canceritis. It can be a bugger. We have a rather fine, well proportioned paranoia box on this thread for putting our worries in and then we take it in turns to sit on it to stop them getting out. I'll happily perch my ample arse on the box for you x x x Quite like the idea of cancer tourettes!!

user you definitely do need to get into a routine with those tablets. I know how it feels, its like a constant reminder every day, but I know that it increases our odds. I have mine on my bedside table with my sleeping pills/ ADs and take them all together. topsy's idea of by the toothbrush is a good one. Could you set an alert on your phone/ tablet every day to remind you?

Talking of tablets (clever link to the previous paragraph there, did you see?) did I mention that my gorgeous DH bought me an ipad mini? He got good bonus this quarter and decided to treat me! He bought himself a KitchenAid blender that he's been lusting over for ages. My ipad is very lovely and shiny smile

topsy cleaning?? Are you sure you're feeling alright?! I hope you are taking it easy today to recover wink A good foodshop sounds a good idea.

Must encourage the boy to get dressed. Laters lovelies x x x x

hooray for ipad mini ned
V sad about your friend though - think you just have to say sod it really sad
Off to that London !
Welcome home from French France dear gig grin

smee Fri 22-Feb-13 10:59:35

Pen, I seem to remember lying awake one night with a sore foot and deciding it was cancer, then rationalising it by thinking well at least they could cut it off. Topsy's right, cancerititis. Well done on taking hooligan pup out.

Ned, iPad mini?! How v.exciting. Still 'no response' though on e-mail?! shock Bloody hell. It's all her, not you. I have a v.close thing same happened. Bumped into her at a party about a year ago, was so lovely to see her and she apologised for being useless, though we didn't get a chance to talk about why. I was so relieved, sent her an e-mail saying let's meet up. No reply. Hope your DS isn't wiping you out.

User, yep put pills somewhere you have to go to. Also get yourself a funky pill box. Hard to find - in fact I reckon we'd make a mint if we designed one - I got a lovely red one, which doesn't scream old lady at all and somehow (shallow, moi?!), I don't mind so much now.

Topsy, cleaning. Noooo....! House has dust-balls here. DS reckons they're fun as the cat chases them. blush Panda was up a tree at a nature centre. I was staring at his enclosure, trying to see him when I felt a plop on my leg. grin

Amber, did you get your blood results? Hope okay. I need to thank you, as I've been taking a huge dose of VitD on your recommendation and have to report I feel so much better. Lot less aches and my skin's positively glowing. smile

Lone, hope you're okay. I know it's tough waiting.

Have we heard from AtoZ? I hope she's okay. come and say hi if you're out there. x

MAS are your hands/ feet okay today?

Waving to Snails, Kurri, HND, Gracie and anyone else who I've missed. Better get on. Masses of work to get through. DH on half term duty today. smile

Copthallresident Fri 22-Feb-13 12:12:51

Lone Thanks for advice, I thought so. The root of her problem is she smells, I have actually paid to be told that is the way it is, some cats just smell. So is at disadvantage in her psychotic craving for attention. She resorts to sitting at the front gate and mugging passers by.

Ned I come to you via iPad too, but not clean and shiny, covered in a layers of greasy finger marks............

MAS I am en route for Central London too. Have a lovely day.

Waves to everyone else from train..........

smee Fri 22-Feb-13 12:36:13

Waving to Copt and MAS from chilly London. Hope you're well wrapped up. <brrr> smile

snailsontour Fri 22-Feb-13 16:09:39

Blow the mini iPad Ned - I'm a drooling over the Kitchen Aidsmile what colour did dh chose??.?!
House smells gorgeous, all garlicky - been busy cooking as have a bc 'friend' and her hubby coming for dinner - we 'met' online on the bcc forum. Really excited to be meeting up, as all the girls I've met up with so far have been lovely. And I have an excuse now for puddingsmile
I'm thrilled with my new nipples - they look amazing - and could take your eyes outsmile. Dh has a new job now - chief nipple shield maker. Got to protect these little beauties from being squashed - the things we do!

KurriKurri Fri 22-Feb-13 16:30:37

Afternoon all smile from freezing East Anglia - its snowing again brrrr - I have been cuddling the dog for warmth grin

Ned - ooh mini ipad - how exciting smile - sorry about your friend, but there is still time for her to reply, maybe she is mulling over what to say and doing a bit of soul searching - I wouldn't give up yet if she was otherwise a good friend.

snails - am envy of your nips, I am getting excited about my recon. (even though it will be quite a long time before I have it) - I have been taking sneaky looks at non-mastectomy bras.

Hope MAS is enjoying herself in London.

Smee- have you managed to wash the panda poo out of your hair? grin<laughs like Muttley> Can you find a link to your funky pill box? - that sounds like something I need, mine is pure old lady all I need is some moth balls in my handbag to complete the look.

Copt. - Some cats do smell, - my friend has 3 cats and one of them just smells (needless to say it is the most affectionate one grin) When I go round her house she always shouts 'don't sit there, Whitney (smelly cat) has just been sitting in that chair', but wherever I sit, the little stinker climbs onto my lap anyway grin

DD and I braved the snow this morning, and went shopping, - well I stood around while DD tried on 700 pairs of virtually identical skinny jeans in every possible shop, and eventually bought the first pair she had tried hmm. She also bought some sheet music in a rather strange little shop, where a little man followed us around saying 'can I help yew at all?' - he was hard to throw off grin
And we had scones and lattes for a treat.

I am planning to spend the evening huddled over the radiator, knitting the back of my jumper - I've finished the front at last.

Love to all x

KurriKurri Fri 22-Feb-13 16:41:37

For the knitting fans this pattern is what I am making (the tunic) but not in stripes - mine is a blue mixed shade wool. this wool - top row, second colour in from the left.

snailsontour Fri 22-Feb-13 18:04:02

Oh kurri that tunic looks gorgeous - I love bluessmile
Freezing here too - so I've pulled the curtains, and am keeping warm and cosy.

topsyturner Fri 22-Feb-13 21:07:32

Am in HNDs house
She got me drunk again ...
We had retro cheese , pineapple , and pickled onions on sticks !
Yum !

smee Fri 22-Feb-13 21:27:26

Kurri, that tunic looks funky. Are you going to strut your stuff when wearing it? I do hope so. grin

Snails, nipples sound fab. Did you have them tattooed? I have to wait a bit for mine as am still trying to get wonky implants right. Oh the comedy.. hmm

Non-old-lady pill box, can't find on-line. It's psychedelic colours though, like highlighter pens. A different colour for each day of the week. Here's a link to another one I have it in my wash-bag, so take it if I'm away for work overnight.
bright red and defiant!

I want cheese and pineapple now. envy Though HND, you gave Topsy, pickled onions?! clearly insane grin

Half nine and I have no glass of wine. Am off to sort that right now. Night all. Keep toasty. smile

topsyturner Fri 22-Feb-13 22:17:49

Pig/dog giving me evils due to over consumption of pickled onions ...

cheese and pineapple - a huge favourite,and now I may need to get some tomorrow- I think we have cocktail sticks.
Have had a very lovely day with T and dh- lots of walking and nice things to eat and drink.
smee hands and feet ok,though a bit tingly and prickly. Also had weird light headed sensations this afternoon when out - maybe the effects of 2 cups of coffee during the afternoon ? Dh bought me the cutest sweetest bear in the Royal Festival Hall shop - so am off to bed with it to snuggle.

tunic is lovely by the way kk - you are clever being able to knit- I have no needle skills whatsoever.

jchocchip Fri 22-Feb-13 23:52:04

Hmmm dozed the evening away again. My phone has difficulty picking up the wifi in the living room so only online now I've gone to bed!
smee Nooooo my foot hurts. Have check up next week, perhaps I will mention. (Actually was a bit better today, smothered it in ibruprofen gel and went to work in trainers...)

jchocchip Fri 22-Feb-13 23:53:52

Knitting looks great kk I'm no knitter, I can't knit and talk at the same time so knitting group tends to be for coffee and chat...

snailsontour Sat 23-Feb-13 10:39:16

I just got nipples smee, did I say just?? Says she who is black and blue from the liposculptingsmile I think it's about three months later that the tattoos get done - I have a check up in 4 weeks, so I'll know more then. But at the risk of being boring, I love these nipples - I have boobs againsmile
Ooh, cheese and pineapple - I have cocktail sticks - and cheese... Bah, no pineapplesad
Lovely evening last night with bcc forum buddy and her dh - and got away with the nights excesses - no gain on the scales and head feels finesmile Result!

damn, forgot the cheese and pineapple

smee Sat 23-Feb-13 14:32:31

Ah, snails I get it now. I haven't really got my head round the idea yet. Have to have another op to take one implant out, revise scar and put a smaller one in, so it has a chance of matching other side. That's sometime soon, then nipples down the line if I choose to go that way. Did you have GA for it? Sounds like you have to. Where did they take the flesh from? My Surgeon calls it the 'fat machine'. grin

MAS, your day sounds lovely. I think I've seen those bears in the RFH shop. We're that way tomorrow to see the Hayward Light show. Light headed might well be due to coffee. Has it come back today? Hope not. x smile

Jane yes mention feet. Mine are strangely starting to feel a bit better. Not at all sure why, but I think it might be linked with me taking glucosamine, plus a high dose of VitD3. Still ache, but nowhere near as much. smile

So cold here. brrr..

Copthallresident Sat 23-Feb-13 15:09:14

KK Tunic looks lovely and I really like the wool, I love wool that changes colour or texture whilst you knit. I've got two on the go at the moment, think I may focus back on the one I started last winter for last summer, might actually finish it in time for next summer, and then I can finish last summer's project for this winter for next winter grin That one's here but going off piste in jewel colours with leftover wool. The one for this summer is no longer on the website and I can't find the pattern book shockbut a chanel jacket shaped thing with a sort of check effect in this discontinued shock cotton in indigo with this [[]] in flint . Hey ho! May have to have a plan b...........

Poor psychocat doesn't have much going for her, smells, is rather ugly, a lapcat in a street cats body, gets so worked up when someone gives her the stroking she craves that she bites them, and gets bullied by every cat in the neighbourhood including gentle sweetiepie cat, who after the killing the neighbour's rabbit incident blush we must assume is actually a street cat in a lapcats body!

grin at Topsys retro snacks, should have had babycham or blue nun with it! just to make sure you vomited

snails my BC buddies and I have excellent piss ups get togethers but heads are always bad in the morning... There's no bonding like being poisoned, mutilated and burned together.

Alone tonight, DDs out partying, DH rugbying so just me and maybe some pickled onions.....

Poor goon dog, we were just discussing something and he suddenly got very excited when we used the word "hope" which was strange, was he suddenly pondering the future? then we decided it must be something that sounded like, was he secret Catholic? (pope) but then we realised it was "dope" exciting things follow when the word dope is addressed to him grin

Copthallresident Sat 23-Feb-13 15:10:50

smee DD went to see that yesterday, she said it was fantastic but too many little kids grin

snailsontour Sat 23-Feb-13 15:46:05

Yes smee I had a GA for the liposculpting. My ps was brilliant and she had a go at my hips, a tiny bit above belly button and the right side of my 'bad' boob where we think the recon slid a bit due to the tunnelling for the ANC. It's weird but I am an inch or so bigger from the waist down than I was before surgery - my ps said that can happen as the surgery changes your shape! Weird. Still, I'm looking forward to seeing the results once the swelling goes down. Loving the 'fat machine'smile. It's all go isn't it with these body rebuilds! Any idea when you will have your surgery?
Totally agree copt, the bonds that are formed during bc treatment are strong! No one else understands do they!
Italy Wales on here - I feel a little dose coming on to make up for last nights late nightsmile

Gigondas Sat 23-Feb-13 15:47:07

I can sympathise with dd after half term grin.

Off to rugby shortly but had lovely time in French France. I have two weeks to do first ou essay so shout at me if i am on here too often.

Love to all esp snails - nice you delurked (or deluded as my phone has it).

Copthallresident Sat 23-Feb-13 16:09:20

DH just tried to go off to Rugby in my big furry dog walking hat, with bright yellow silk lining and big turquoise "Joules" label sticking out of it, grin when I suggested he might get teased he went off and pulled my fleecy chemo beanie out of the back of the hat drawer which felt a bit strange sad I suppose it is good it gets to ride again, he should have put the wig on to and gone the whole hog grin

brrrrr how cold is it today? I just can't seem to heat. Thinking of wrapping up in a fleecy blanket soon. You will need your winter woolies gigs at the rugby.

kurri tunic is lovely and love the colour.

ned are you about lovely? Can I pick your brains? I have suddenly this morning developed a mottled red patch on my bc side. I know you had problems after rads. I can still see very clearly the 'tan' marks but this red patch is something new. I am having a mega panic and have text my bc nurse who phoned me back and wants me to come to see surgeon on Tuesday but I don't want to bother them as I look like a paranoid patient. Googled pictures and looks to me similar to inflammatory bc.

Sorry paranoid me again.

a hug for gracie
Dh and T off to watch rugby at parents.. am wrapping dh's birthday presents.
Am thinking I may need to buy cheese and pineapple as I have such a craving.
smee no light headedness today- it was prob. a combination of coffee/the cold air and walking miles grin
Was toying with going to the Light exhibition at the Hayward but dh not bothered, same with Lichtenstein at the Tate Modern - would be unfair of me to go on my own and leave them yesterday- will plan to go again another time,plus would love to see the Manet at the RA.

amberlight Sat 23-Feb-13 18:13:03

Gracie, go see the surgeon <stern Amber look>. It will turn out to be something irrelevant, but you won't rest properly until you've heard that from an expert. I am, by the way, really bad at taking my own advice.

Blood test? Results? <denial> No, can't say I remember to ring.... blush

Manet at the RA is a must.
MAS, get thee to That Shop and get thy cheese and pineapple.

Copthallresident Sat 23-Feb-13 18:22:05

MAS amber You need to go online now to get tickets, When I booked a couple of weeks ago it wasn't until the end of March that tickets were available for other than at dawn or late night. I am still livid from the Leonardo exhibition when we didn't book in time, tried going up to London on the first train and were still way to late for the day tickets, yet you could go on viagogo and there were loads available for £100. Obviously the sellers don't care if they only shift 2 out of 10 of their tickets, they still make a 100% profit but they deprive 8 genuine people of the chance to see the exhibition angry

thanks for that copt
Cheese and pineapple def. tomorrow- can't face the cold trip (yes I know it's 5 mins away but... if I go topmorrow I can get my daily free cup of coffee too grin ) !

HerNextDoorAt21 Sat 23-Feb-13 19:10:44

Hello everyone. Just denying getting tipsy drunk ...... She just must have been very thirsty ! The retro cheese pineapple and pickled onions were lovely, I used to laugh at my DH when he made them for get togethers ! We also had Christmas Pie (goid good website) from my freezer and Buffalo Chicken Wings. My wounds are not much better and my new boob is rock hard and warm .... I
Am told by the surgeons apprentice that this fairly normal and is fat necrosis as is the yucky yellow stuff seeping from the other side of the tissue flap. I am really fed up of it now and having a bit of a down time to be honest. My surgeon is back from hols this week so look forward to seeing her and hopefully quelling my paranoia that I will end up back under the knife sad hope everyone is well

jchocchip Sat 23-Feb-13 20:47:05

Hi everyone - just popping in to say hello. Did parkrun volunteering this morning, then set out for sculpture park but it was trying to snow so aborted mission and saw the Hockney and Sophie Ryder exhibitions at local gallery also the one Lichtenstein that is there. Went for a run later, but still have loads of stuff I was supposed to do today, oops.

Hope your surgeon hurries up back from her hols and can sort your paranoia out hnd

smee Sat 23-Feb-13 20:49:47

Gracie, I have a black bit, lots of red bits, horrible thread needle type rash and all manner of other things on my radiated breast. Surgeon says all normal, so yes go get checked but honestly I'd bet it's just that your skin went to hell and back. xx smile

HND, bugger about the wound, though from what I've heard from others who've had similar it can take an age for all to settle.

Snails, bruising sounds a bit ouch, but good to hear it's worth it. My implant revision was supposed to be about now, but I cancelled it due to work, and lovely surgeon has asked me to suggest some dates in May or June.

Am mighty lucky as DH is a member of RA, so I can go to Manet whenever. We tried to get into Hayward last week, but it was sold out. I'd bet there will be too many kids tomorrow too, though one of them will be mine. grin

Pouring out wine here. smile

Copthallresident Sat 23-Feb-13 20:56:42

jchoc Salts ! We love Salts. DDs reception teacher v impressed when DD drew picture in art of her diving into swimming pool, didn't hint it was a northern thing grin

jchocchip Sat 23-Feb-13 21:07:07

Wasn't Salts Copt, not been there for a while either - may do lunch there on Weds though as have day off work booked and kniterati in Saltaire in morning. Cartwright Hall

jchocchip Sat 23-Feb-13 21:11:05

There was a swimming pool in the exhibition, but it was mostly early works and very interesting... 'Course he went to school across the road and a group of children from the Grammar had interviewed him over a meal of pizza and cans of coke.... grin at reception diving picture smile

PenisColada Sun 24-Feb-13 07:46:14

Good morning all. We are all up very early as my ds is 11 today. Can't believe it. My baby is nearly as tall as me and growing up fast. Their birthdays make me all emotional, especially this year.

I have a cancellation appointment and am seeing the oncologist on tuesday a week earlier. This waiting for treatment is terrible. I guess I will find out all about it on Tuesday.

ned how are you getting on with your ipad ? Mine is like another limb and is permanatly attached to me. If you fancy lunch by the beach sometime give me a shout.

kirri love the tunic !

nextdoor hope the surgeon can reassure you this week and it all settles down.

coorong Sun 24-Feb-13 08:39:40

Hi, possible new member here. I lurked a couple of years ago following biopsies etc which were inconclusive but dodgy. Now I have a lump, which looks "dodgy"' radiologists words not mine, and more extensive calcifications. Biopsies back on Tuesday and an op is definitely on the cards, anything else ? Will find out on Tuesday.
It was a roller coaster last week. The only experience I have is death - 2 friends from university - 4 years ago and 5 years ago. Im trying to adopt the "it's a chronic illness not a death sentence" and making a mental list of those who've had BC, but since moving abroad my peer group is smaller and I need to hear normal boring BC stories about getting on with life.
The only person I can think of is Kylie! Ironically MIL (whos bonkers) had double mx over the last 30 years and she's 80, so there's hope for me.

coorong Sun 24-Feb-13 08:40:35

Oh, and I HAVE an iPad!

welcome coorong with your ipad ! so sorry you're in the horrid waiting stage -fingers very crossed for you. Please be reassured that things can turn out ok for loads of people and that several of us are quite a few years on from initial dx - even those with mets are getting on with things and are well.
Waves to pen and jane
I do love my ipad - so useful too for work (instant reference at my fingertips) but best of all for iplayer in bed grin

jchocchip Sun 24-Feb-13 09:45:36

Hi coorong. Sorry you are waiting for results, that is a worrying time.Stick around for hand holding. If you want a boring story about getting on with life, I had a lumpectomy for a grade 2 breast cancer in Sept 2011 followed by radiotherapy. Taking tamoxifen for five years now. Went back to work Jan last year. Have 18 month check this week.

jchocchip Sun 24-Feb-13 09:47:10

Hi mas xpost smile

topsyturner Sun 24-Feb-13 10:39:00

Morning All

Welcome to Coorong , good luck for Tuesdays results . Any qs , there's bound to be at least one of us who have the answer .
Amazing coincidence - I look exactly like Kylie !!
blatant lie grin

Pen results for you on Tuesday too ? I'm glad you don't have to wait another week !
Happy Birthday to mini pen

Snot fair
I want an iPad !!!
<stamps feet and sulks>

Off to granny's soon .
Seems to be lovely and sunny outside today .

I appear to have Mental Hair this morning .
Sigh <reaches for hat>

Copthallresident Sun 24-Feb-13 11:30:07

Hi Coorong Yep I can do boring story about getting on with life. Diagnosed with 1.7cm nasty lump in August 2001, scored top marks for aggression and estrogen+ it had spread to 1 lymph node and geek doctor gave me a 60% chance of surviving, had mastectomy and chemo and Tamoxifen for five years and that was the last bit of attention seeking it got away with. Some days go by and I don't think of it in fact geek doctor tells me that once I'd survived 5 years I now have less chance of dying from Breast Cancer than the average woman and he is much more concerned with my risk of dying of a heart attack....

I must admit that after all the drama of it all the new normal can actually be quite mundane grin

I have quite a few friends made during treatment who have gone on to equally boring lives, we had all sorts of different lumps, some given even worse chances than me, but also bear in mind most lumps are actually quite innocuous and relatively easy to treat .

Copthallresident Sun 24-Feb-13 11:44:07

jchoc glad to hear Cartwright hall still going, lots of memories of things I learned there, from stuffed animals to the hollocaust (ipad telling me this is not a word so clearly didn't learn spelling....or it's a denier hmm) Also lurked a lot in the vicinity of that grammar school with skirt hitched up, tie shortened and with very fat bit at top not done up to neck and horrible beret and gaberdine coat illegally stuffed in bag grin (I think the school was going for chic french spy look but in fact made us all look like Frank Spencer )

coorong Sun 24-Feb-13 12:20:09

Thanks appreciate the comments all. Am thinking of name changing to KylieM or ishouldbesolucky! I don't mind the waiting - it gives me thinking time and all the biopsy results are there to consider. I've made only one rule, "no googling" - I mean. I might discover I've got cancer! grin

amberlight Sun 24-Feb-13 14:46:08

Coorong, hi from me too :-)
Google is complete rubbish. The info on there is based on the out of date stuff from 5 years ago. Nearly all treatments are new in the last five years, and the results are drastically different from the old stuff. There's now a 1 in 100 chance of a lump being a) cancer and b) really rudely behaved in a life threatening way. Even then, there's often an 8 out of 10 chance of them converting that rudeness into a long term nuisance instead of an early exit.

Boring story for you - two years post-diagnosis here. Had huge whack of chemo (worked all the way through it - doable), lumpectomy, radiotherapy, Herceptin for a while (that was the worst bit for me). Days off work - about 10 in grand total in the two years. Quite mad, really, but I just am. First few weeks were eeek and the regular appointments are eek too, and I won't say the treatment is fun....and I won't say that you come out the other end totally back to normal either. But still here, still have my friends and job and family and holidays and animals and fun. Like MAS says, even those here who are living with the ruder sorts are getting on with life and treating it as a darned nuisance from time to time but nothing much more.
So, mostly, that's what it is like. Hope that helps.

well said amber

Sometimesiwonder Sun 24-Feb-13 18:47:05

Hi all. Long time, no me. Sorry I have been so crap but I just wanted to wave madly and smooch you all, and especially to say - yay! Nearly there! To KK, and a special welcome for Coorong. Amber said it well, as always.

Good to see you all being so chatty and reassuringly here and getting on with life - Still very busy here but I think life will be a bit less hectic in March.

MAS - haven't forgotten the sponsorship or the picture, I'll get onto both shortly.

Here, it's the end of half term. Dd went to drama group all day, every day, and last night we went to their performance. It was absolutely brilliant!

sometimes !! missing you v much - you are v good to be getting on with work though, unlike me grin Am ready when you are for the picture !

smee Sun 24-Feb-13 18:55:49

Elbows Topsy out of the way, as am sure I look far more like Kylie if only grin

Mwwah to Sometimes. We miss you! Hope you're not overdoing it. Am mighty jealous of your DD's half term activities. Sounds like she's dangerously close to being hooked. grin

Pen that's great that you've got an earlier appointment. Not much longer now. 11's a great age. Is he starting secondary next year? Must mean you have school choice hanging over you too. Never easy all of that.

Hello from me too Coorong. Bugger about the waiting and sorry you've found yourself here, but ask us anything you want and let us distract you. Honestly though if it does turn out to be cancer, Amber's wise as ever. If we can do it, well so can you. smile

Waving to all. Hope you all had a lovely day and are keeping warm. smile

Sometimesiwonder Sun 24-Feb-13 18:58:00

Oh no I'm not good, just so swamped I don't know where to turn, it's stressing me out a bit, if I'm honest.

As you can probably tell, I'm rebelling now after another day at the poster. Here's a question for you - how do you do an emoticon on an iPad (ignorant Luddite)
Ooh hooks holland on dancing on ice! Back in a mo

Sometimesiwonder Sun 24-Feb-13 19:04:03

Hooks? Meant Jules obviously. To revile and Dean ruined it a bit, for me, TBH. Skating around like a pair of gimps.... (Wish I knew how do do the "hmm" face)

Sometimesiwonder Sun 24-Feb-13 19:10:29

Ooh, hello see, didn't spot you there (mwah).

D is v hooked, even though she was erm, shal we say, bit parts. A tree, table, wolf and a pot plant if I remember right. Made learning the lines a breeze...

Sometimesiwonder Sun 24-Feb-13 19:11:19

See? Meant smee. Flipping keyboard.

topsyturner Sun 24-Feb-13 19:20:15

<snogs sometimes , removes gin bottle from her grasp>

Sometimesiwonder Sun 24-Feb-13 19:33:50

See, I do look pissed, don't I? It's just trying to type on this bloody iPad, honest guv. Haven't touched a drop (yet). Good to see you, topsy!

smee Sun 24-Feb-13 20:25:20

Sounds like alcohol might help, sometimes. grin

PenisColada Sun 24-Feb-13 21:57:27

Yes we have secondary places letter coming in the post soon. I am all a bit smug though as he passed the grammar exam so will go there. He had no tutoring and refused to take the practice tests seriously. I don't dare venture onto any of the 11+ threads ! I am reliably informed all the boys in catchment who passed will get a place so it is good news all round as the alternative school is not so good.

We had a lovely family evening playing cards and fish and chips with all the grandparents. Good time had by all and he said he can't wait for his next birthday.

I hope on Tuesday I will find out if I had any lymph node involvement but I think they will scan me when I am radioactive and that will show if there is any spread and how much. I will have another scan after 4 months to see if the treatment got all the cells or not. By all accounts the onc is a lovely man so I am not anxious about seeing him.

UserError Sun 24-Feb-13 22:03:56

Evening all, just checking in quickly. I'm holding myself accountable - I STILL haven't dropped off the blood forms, but I WILL do it tomorrow. I am being organised and putting them in my bag where I will see them. I'm also writing 'Make the fucking appointment, arsehole' on my hand.

I've been the worst ever at taking the tamoxifen this week. I think I've taken it once. I'm going to paint my pill box with nail varnish I think.

topsyturner Sun 24-Feb-13 23:35:46

"Make the fucking apt arsehole"
Makes me lol , lots !
Could have been me what wrote that

Gigondas Mon 25-Feb-13 07:10:11

Don't write it in marker pen tho user error grin.

brew All? Have been lurking but between mini gig early starts and sore shoulder (was ok most of last week ) have only been lurking. Have pain appt on weds so hoping for more effective meds/advice.

Mini gig has a second attempt at her jabs today so hope she doesn't react too badly- going to dose her up as think that was your suggestion lonecat.

arf usererror !
Well done to junior pen smile
Hope that jabs go well for mini gig - am posting your mother's day pic today !
Having coffee this morning with a friend too

smee Mon 25-Feb-13 09:19:15

Hooray for your clever boy, Pen. How exciting for him to have secondary ahead. Keep busy today x

Gig, that shoulder's lingered way too long. Must be very tiring. I had bad back all through DS's babytime and it was mighty hard to keep cheerful some days. Constant pain is horrid. Do the calpol thing with mini-gig. I used to do that with DS too mind you he's always been a drama queen grin

Usererror HAVE YOU TAKEN IT YET?? Then once you have take those forms. smile

Have a nice coffee, MAS. smile

Better get on. Lunchtime deadline. Eek..

snailsontour Mon 25-Feb-13 11:09:16

Hope that boob settles down hnd hugs.

Hugs to you coorong - the waiting room is the pits - but it's good to have company whilst you wait - these girls here are tremendoussmile

And topsy, don't get in too much of a tis - these iPads aren't quite the full shilling - so may things you can't do with them. I mean I 'like' my iPad, but I 'LOVES' my iPhone!

Love boring stories like yours copt!

Yeh, well done young pen - would it be appropriate to say young penis? No? Thought notsmile

Think I'm clairvoyant today - I 'see' a trip to Costco coming onsmile Dh wants needs a new tomtom so who am I to say no? - I also see jacket potato there for for lunch.

NedSchneebly Mon 25-Feb-13 11:46:32

Morning all smile

Have reinstated tentative contact with friend (who "abandoned" me) even though she emailed me back, basically saying that even before my diagnosis we had grown apart anyway, and she had a really hard time being pregnant last year. . hmm But she did manage to apologise, so have taken at face value and we are hoping to go up and see them at Easter. Will keep you posted!

gracie sorry not to be around when you needed me, love. I had exactly the same thing in November - red, hot, sore patch on most of BC booby, puckered skin etc etc. Dr Google said inflammatory Breast Cancer too. GP gave me antibiotics for cellulitis - infection in the fat cells just under the skin and said that when you get so run down with treatment, the BC booby is a bit of a weak spot because of the battering its had from rads, and so prone to infections in the early months post-treatment. Saw surgeon at clinic and that';s when I had my mammo and ultrasound and all clear given. Can you contact your BCN and see if they can get you in to see the surgeon? Let us know, won;t you?

snails DH bought a very boring charcoal grey KitchenAid. WHY? When he could have had this colour?! I do actually love my ipad, although getting a look in when DS is at home is darned hard work!

pen lunch by the sea sounds great. Next Monday or Tuesday? Let me know when suits you. smile

MWAH to sometimes roll on March if it means things will get easier for you. Bet DDs drama thing was fab!

smee hope you meet the deadline. Don't work too hard, if that's possible?!

HND hows the booby today?


Waves to MAS, Kurri, gig, topsy and anyone else around.

See you all later x x

user can you set your phone to sound an alarm to remind you each day ?
Waves to ned !
Cofffee (2) and croissant were yum grin

PenisColada Mon 25-Feb-13 14:19:52

ned shall we go for Monday ? Where shall we go ?



Or here


snailsontour Mon 25-Feb-13 15:31:31

Exactly ned why didn't he!! Hmmm, grey is such a safe colour - but I guess it's manlysmile

Jealous of the sea views ned and pen - whichever you don't choose, you do next timesmile

Great idea mas - user set the alarm on your phone!

Dh has a new toy - he's treated himself to a new Tomtom, such a good offer in Costco, so that'll keep him busy uploading his poi's.

Think it's tea and bicci time.

KurriKurri Mon 25-Feb-13 19:07:28

Evening all, smile

Sometimes lovely to see you <snogging and leg humping> and thank you for the yay grin hope all is well with you, - sounds like DD is really enjoying her drama smile

ned - good luck with your friend, hope the meeting goes well, but if it doesn't we can all come round and shout rude things at her . Hope you and Pen have a lovely lunch by the sea (and it isn't too cold), - I got stung by a Weever fish on Bournemouth Beach when I was about 14, - it was bloody painful. - Not sure why I told that story, I don't suppose either of you are likely to be in the water near the pier giggling and ogling boys, - but just in case, watch out for the nasty fishes grin

My mum is looking at some sheltered apartments in Swanage (not that she's sold her house yet), she can't seem to find anywhere she likes in the nearest town to her.

Well done to your DS Pen, - clever lad smile

User take your tablet. At once. grin

Coorong - my story - DX in 2008, mastectomy, lymph node clearance, chemo, radiotherapy, herceptin and tamoxifen - still here and enjoying life. waiting for results and appointments is shit, so hang in there and let us support you if we can xx

Waving to Smee, MAS, Gigs, Snails, amber, HND, topsy, gracie and anyone I've missed out due to my general senility.

love to all - I have been to yoga, and done a picture for my art group tomorrow (topic 'weather') and looked up the name of the guy who is giving a talk, as I have to introduce him grin

jchocchip Mon 25-Feb-13 19:22:08

Have fun pen and ned, looks scrummy smile
Hi sometimes, good to see you.

Well done on your clairvoyance, snails. What numbers are going to come up on Saturday? grin
kk sounds like you are busy. My mil is going to sell up now her mum has gone. Will be nice to have her nearer to us.

user have you taken it yet??

coorong Mon 25-Feb-13 19:24:22

Thanks all - I've been asking for boring life after BC stories, so much reassured but still shit scared. I think it's the idea of not being in control. Seeing the surgeon tomorrow with results of all the biopsies. Advice on any questions to ask?

My DH is away with work but I'm taking a friend so I don't miss stuff. She's a medico so won't be a drama queen I hope (that's my role,I fear).

smee Mon 25-Feb-13 20:05:14

coorong, obviously if they found any cancer - hopefully not, but if they say yes, ask how much/ what grade (ie how aggressive). If there is cancer, next question is where is it/ could it be in my nodes/ could it have spread/ what are they going to do to find out. If it's just the micro calcifications you say yay and breathe a huge sigh of relief, but either way you need to know what's next in terms of op/ any further treatment. I honestly think most important thing is to know what's next, as then you can reclaim control of your life. Will be thinking of you and sending purely good vibes. smile

Pen, will be thinking of you too tomorrow. Hope you're okay-ish and manage to get some sleep tonight. xx

Think you might be seeing your team tomorrow too, Gracie? I'd bet Ned's right and your red patch is same as hers. Will keep everything crossed for that. You'll skip out though, am sure. smile

Did you hear from your surgeon, HND? Hope you have and can see them soon.

Not sure if anyone else has appts this week, but apologies if I've missed anyone.

Ned that kitchen thing's gorgeous even if he did buy the wrong colour. I have a teeny one from when I was making DS's baby food. You can get an onion in and that's about it. Might show DH the pic of yours.. envy

topsyturner Mon 25-Feb-13 21:13:16

Right , who has apts tomorrow ?
I think Pen , Coolong and *Gracie ?
Am I right ?
Will be thinking of you all , and anyone else that needs a hand hold .

Got the munchies to tonight .
I blame HND (as always) as I was just in her house , and it smelt of lovely food !
What shall I eat ?
Fancy summat with a bit of spice ...

topsyturner Mon 25-Feb-13 21:16:00

<peeps at Neds profile to figure out where she lives , so I can pop round and steal MrNeds kitchen aid>

It goes on my very long list of Things I Will Buy When I Win The Lottery grin

Good luck to pen and coolong with your appointments tomorrow. Hope they go well.

Thank you everyone for your calming words. I have chickened out of my surgeon's appointment as the redness seems to be fading so blush beginning to think it may have been a reaction to my new deodorant. I am going to see how it goes this week and go and see him next week if no improvement. Thank you ned and everyone else.

Very envy at all the new ipads - no iphone here either.

gigs hope minigigs got on ok with her jabs. Hope your pain appointment proves useful.

How's the wound hnd? Hope topsy isn't leading you astray with wine coffee and cakes.

Waves to everyone lurking. Nice to see your again sometimes

sandripples Mon 25-Feb-13 21:41:24

For Coorong - another reassuring story for you. I was diagnosed in Dec 2009, had lumpectomy, radiotherapy and chemo, and have been fine since. I did take time off work but have been completely well since my return. Good luck.
Waving to everyone! x

Gigondas Mon 25-Feb-13 21:45:48

Mini gig seems fine after jabs- few tears but some choclit buttons helped and has been fine since.

Smee- you are right about how boring and tiring pain it is. It's not getting worse but it isnt really shifting.

Gracie glad things are improving . Hnd hope topsy is leaving you enough food .

Waves to everyone else.

PenisColada Mon 25-Feb-13 21:55:16

Can I just pop in to share that it looks like my nerve damage is not permanent. I managed to do the high pitched dog calling just now for the first time. Phew. I will be singing ( badly ) in the car again soon.

woo,that's good news pen - lots of good thoughts to you and coorong for tomorrow - and gracie glad that you're seeing some improvement smile
Well done mini gig !
Waves to SR
Off to take car for it's MOT tomorrow and then must get to work. Sleep well everyone x

smee Mon 25-Feb-13 22:46:58

Aw, glad about mini gig. I used to get so wound up before DS's jabs. Horrid, if necessary of course. Pain is exhausting. Are the little Gig's sleeping through all night, or still a bit mixed? Bet that's not helping. sad

Gracie, you should have just gone to appointment you know. Still v.good that it's fading. It wouldn't do that if it were cancer. [smile

Pen, YAY. Tide's turning for you. smile

MAS, I read that quickly as you were off to take the car now. Was thinking how odd.. grin

Waving to SR. You're three years past diagnosis. That's brilliant. How's you're DS? is he still upset about his girlfriend?

Night all. Hope everyone sleeps well. Especially those with appointments tomorrow. x

jchocchip Tue 26-Feb-13 06:42:44

Morning all! Just popping on to send +ve vibes for those appointments today.

Cat is getting very nsughty, I'm sire it is deliberate so IS will get up and feed him!
Hope the mot is ok mas

Quick brew anyone?

snailsontour Tue 26-Feb-13 12:07:12

Yep, positive vibes for today's appointment goers!! Xx

KurriKurri Tue 26-Feb-13 13:25:38

Good luck for all of those with appointments today xx

Pen - good news about nerve damage, - I will listen out for you on X -factor grin

Hope MOT isn't too grim and costly MAS.

Good that mini gigs jabs went OK, - I had a horrid nurse do DS's - I had to practically fight her to let me hold him on my lap while she did it, she wanted the other nurse to hold him - madness confused (Of course this was in the days before dinosaurs when being incredibly bossy was an entry qualification for nurses grin)

Waving to SR - lovely to see you, hope all is well with you and the family.

I have given old lady dog her bath, so she is giving me evil looks.

love to all x

amberlight Tue 26-Feb-13 13:37:57

'Afternoon all.
<replenishes the trolley with various fbs>

Blood test result: "It says routine appointment - see your Doctor", said the test-result-reading-out lady. I know that logically 'routine appointment' sounds OK. But this was supposedly a standard blood test for the blood pressure medication and I think normally they just say it's all fine. My doc isn't around until next Monday.

<convinces herself she has minutes to live, and hides under the trolley tablecloth>

UserError Tue 26-Feb-13 13:45:54

I wish there was a way of opening the reply box in a different window so I could flick back to the thread to make sure I've replied to everyone! Gah. I've forgotten already what I was going to say and to whom (Who? Whom? I need Ross Gellar to tell me).

Setting an alarm on my phone is a brilliant idea and one so simple that I am now mentally kicking myself for not thinking of it sooner. I've decided to keep my pill box in the living room and have told DP that I want him to remind me to take them before I go up to bed. I often go up earlier than he does, so I think doing that plus setting a phone alarm will be enough to remind me.

Ironically I forgot to write 'Make the appointment, arsehole' on my hand but I DID remember to make the appointment and I went to it this morning. Unfortunately no blood was forthcoming because my veins are tiny piddly things that collapse as soon as a needle touches them. I only had one infusion of epirubicin via cannula before I got my PICC, but it's turned my one good vein in that arm into a shite one. I did persuade the blood-taking-vampire-lady to try in my other arm even though I've had lymph nodes removed (only five, so not really enough to present much of a lymphodema risk) and she was naughty and tried more times than she was really allowed to, but nope. I have to go back Thursday to try again. I rewarded myself with a McDonalds breakfast after all that fussing around. grin

Thinking of all who have appointments today, I hope they go smoothly.

maybe it's just a routine catch up thing ? you know,like where they review your medication ? try not to fret amber
Hope appointments have/are going well- thinking of you two.
Waiting for car to be ready - v nice courtesy car though-dare not drive it anywhere apart from back to the garage as I don't want to have to refill with petrol - the fuel thing keeps beeping to say it's low though the garage man said not to worry about replenishing !

usererror - grr about the blood after all that !

UserError Tue 26-Feb-13 13:55:15

To be honest I expect it now. It's a bonus if they can get blood. The only people guaranteed to get it first time are the plebotamists in a certain local hospital, because they are doing it constantly. Community ones based at surgeries, or people whose job involves doing things other than taking blood always struggle. If it doesn't happen on Thursday I'll pop over to the hospital.

amberlight Tue 26-Feb-13 13:57:18

The blood test was after the routine appointment a month or two ago. < says a muffled voice from under the tea trolley >

Gigondas Tue 26-Feb-13 14:00:02

(Crawls next to tea trolley ) it is unlikely that it would take them 2 months to get back to you on something serious. Leaves brew and chocolate biscuit to lure amber out.

Minigig doing ok- me not so much. Have a lurfgy I think as was fine when woke up then got headache, was sick and haven't made it out of bed yet. I am Bored of being poorly.

KurriKurri Tue 26-Feb-13 14:10:25

amber - if it was anything serious they wouldn't say routine appointment, someone would get in touch with you pronto, one of the other docs if yours is away.
Do not panic <holds out handful of cake and makes clicking tongue noises> grin

user - well done on making appointment, but pain about the veins (they will recover a bit in time) I always get mine done at the hospital though because they are more specialist in blood letting!

KurriKurri Tue 26-Feb-13 14:10:50

<makes hot lemon and honey for Gig>

smee Tue 26-Feb-13 14:12:31

Amber, pesky paranoia at your heels I see. Am giving her a swift kick on your behalf. If it was serious they'd be rushing you in. It'll be routine, we have to see you every so often on those drugs type of thing an sure. Come out and eat Gig's biscuit before I do grin

G'ah on lurgy, Gig. You must be just run-down. My friend who has an 18 month old has gone from one bug to another too, so not that weird for someone who's been through all the treatment you've had on top. Rest up. xx

MAS, go out in the car! Man said not to worry, you could go on a jaunt. smile

UserError Tue 26-Feb-13 14:29:15

Go away lurgy, leave Gigondas alone.

Why are we all under the tea trolley? Is that where the biscuits are?

amberlight Tue 26-Feb-13 14:34:01

'ere, get your knee out of my brew! Who's nicked that biscuit? Gerroff my lap! <general commotion from under the trolley>

Elibean Tue 26-Feb-13 15:06:47

Errmmm...sorry to butt in blush

Amber, if you can hear me through the biscuits, I take blood pressure meds and they do want me to pop in sometimes after blood tests to have bp taken - seems to be part of the 'looking after ladies on bp meds' routine. So prepare to be cuffed, but almost certainly nowt else.

topsyturner Tue 26-Feb-13 15:17:24

<grabs Amber by ankles and hauls her out from under trolley>
If you are on regular meds for anything , you have to physically see the doctor every couple of months for Doc to ascertain that you are Actually Still Alive !
Tis The Rules apparently ...

No news yet from appointment goers yet ?

topsyturner Tue 26-Feb-13 15:19:41

Well done User , first step is the hardest and all that .
<punches manfully on shoulder>

<strokes Gigs fevered brow>

Just back from lunch with HND
Think I might need to lie down now .
-- mainly as we called into tesco on the way home , and HND was soooo badly behaved--

topsyturner Tue 26-Feb-13 15:20:02

Gah strike out fail !

amberlight Tue 26-Feb-13 15:24:25

< muffled voice from under table > Yes, I saw someone for standard checkup, so that had already happened...and they sent me for blood test, phoned for results...but normally they just say 'those are fine'. This time they told me to go see my doc. So is different.

Copthallresident Tue 26-Feb-13 15:26:34

Ahem! How old are you lot? Have a bit of dignity, I mean you have had Cancer, you are brave dignified SURVIVORS. Gah! You should be out running in pink feather boas, not grovelling for biscuits grin

User Have you tried taking along a hand warmer, you know those things you stick in the microwave and then press a button and they heat up. Keeping your arm and hands really warm just before you have the blood test can make a difference. I too have the veins of an addict, my own fault because I refused to have a line because I wanted to pretend it wasn't happening between treatments. Haven't yet dared let them use the juicy vein in the other arm, I did lose all my lymph nodes. Has anyone else braved that one? I think I've ignored just about every other bit of advice they gave me about avoiding Lyphodema.

gigs Sorry to hear about lurgy on top of pain, I think continual pain brings you very low. Is this going to get in the way of your essay? What are OU like about that? We had a sliding scale of % deductions for days past deadline 5% for 24 hours, 10% for a week unless you have doctors note, if essay doesn't count for much sometimes worth taking a bit of extra time, though trouble with my essays was they all counted. Is your deadline Friday, did you say?

Hope all those appointments have gone well today, I have no cleaner this week, therefore OCD beginning to take hold <gets out toothbrush and starts cleaning out corners of trolley>

Elibean Tue 26-Feb-13 15:34:54

Amber, they may want to change or adjust your meds - my uncle has been on bp meds for decades, and it happens to him now and then (post bloods).

UserError Tue 26-Feb-13 15:47:55

Ooh, good thinking Copthallresident! I usually just wear arm warmers but arm warmers plus a heat pad could really work. Do you reckon I can find some in poundshops? be's a cheapskate

UserError Tue 26-Feb-13 15:55:46

Also, the day I am dignified is the day that fluffy Persian kittens come crawling out of my bum. I was the bane of the chemo suite while I was there because I entertained myself by blowing up nitrile gloves and generally causing mischief.

smee Tue 26-Feb-13 16:29:58

grin @ User and her Persian kittens..!

No news from those out at appts then? Hmmm.. hope it's because they're all celebrating.

Does anyone know anything about Letrozole? Apparently my bone density scan showed a good base level, so my surgeon thinks I should switch from Tamoxifen. Need to google around, but is anyone else on it? can't remember.

Copthallresident Tue 26-Feb-13 16:56:15

user The day I go running in a pink feather boa is the day that fluffy Persian kittens come crawling out of my bum grin

Not good thinking on my part but on the part of my wonderful nurse buddy, who has always made sure hand warmers are available in her department, why all other nurses / phlebotomists can't have the same thought I don't know.........

smee not allowed letrazole sad but smile your bone density is good

my car is back and fine but with a £400 bill for service etc - yike.
Dang - should've gone for a whirl in the fancy car really.
Poor gig - I have many grapes here and could rustle up some cheese and pineapple ?
Don't know about letrozole smee though I believe the bone secondaries ladies in my group are on it...

smee Tue 26-Feb-13 17:31:00

£400?! yikes indeed, MAS.

Gig hope you're feeling a bit better now. Have mini-Gigs shown any signs of it?

copt, so is the reason because of lower bone density? Are they keeping an eye on that for you?

NedSchneebly Tue 26-Feb-13 17:38:04

Just swinging by for news of today's appointments - Not yet? I must dash again but will check in properly in a bit smile

coorong Tue 26-Feb-13 17:40:28

Have received temporary membership card ..... The lump is Grade 1 18mm, so manageable, but because of what's happening in the rest of the breast, they're recommending mx, then . Tamoxifen and poss chemo (depends on what the op throws up). Much less scared now - talking to you guys and scouting round friends and family I realise BC is very common and manageable. Tho not my first choice for getting attention.
Any advice on reconstruction? Am wary of implants - shoulder muscle is the other option on offer - any ideas thoughts?

Overall MUCH MUCH calmer, no have measure of control.

PenisColada Tue 26-Feb-13 17:49:20

Well I am back.

Out of the 15 nodes they took out only 1 was 'involved'. The treatment is the same anyway but it is good apparently that so few were involved.

From what I can grasp I have the initial radioactive iodine and they scan me during that. At this point they would expect some thyroid cells to be to knocking about and they can't tell the difference between those and cancer cells.

After 2 months I have blood tests to see if any remaining cells and an iodine scan after 4 months to see if I have any left at all. So I won't know if there is any stubborn spread until then.

He did say he does not expect there to be any spread due to the histology.

The onc was really lovely, smiley, not patronising or head tilty at all.

I feel ok but there will probably be no mobile phone reception / Internet when I go in for my isolation. How will I cope ? I will have TV and a landline.

smee Tue 26-Feb-13 17:52:56

Coorong, well that sounds not so bad. Definitely sounds like they got it early and before it went bonkers. Just going to have to get through the treatment now. I've had two mastectomies, so ask anything you want. I've got implants. Could bore on about those too if you like. Go have a huge glass of wine. x

PenisColada Tue 26-Feb-13 18:09:54

Cross posted with coorong

I felt almost relieved after my diagnosis as I had imagined the worst and my news sounds like yours in that it was bad but the best of bad news and it could be dealt with.

Do you know when your surgery is ?

snailsontour Tue 26-Feb-13 18:21:00

Once you know what you are facing it becomes easier doesn't it coorong. Yep, sadly bc is common these days - but I'll take common over unusual anyday!
Right, reconstruction.
First question is whether you can have immediate as opposed to delayed - because that can be influenced/affected by what type you choose. Each have their own merits, and not everyone is suitable for all types. Implants are relatively simple with short recovery time, but require ongoing maintenance ie replacing every ten years. Autologous recons (using your own tissue) are bigger ops with longer recovery times, but once completed, that's it for life.

I had an immediate bllateral DIEP, and am thrilled with the outcome, so ask away...

And your news looks positive too pen. Just the one node involved is good!

smee, I think letrosole is given to post menopausal women as its more effective for them than tamoxifen

KurriKurri Tue 26-Feb-13 18:35:19

I'm just off out, but dashing in to say I totally agree with snails, - it does become easier when you know what you are up against, which is not to say you won't feel pretty churned up about it, of course you will, but you are on the treatment and getting better road now, stick with us if you want to eat far too much cake grin

I've had mastectomy and am waiting for my reconstruction (I had my op four years ago) so anything you want to know about MX ask away smile

Pen - your news sounds good too, yay for nice oncy.

coorong Tue 26-Feb-13 18:41:42

Am on the vino! They've suggested reconstruct straightaway and I'm thinking autologous because (I have small .....) because it sounds more me .... But anyone had their latissimus Dorsi out for a breast?

Pen - not an expert on nodes, but one sounds better than loads of nodes - agree its important to have a non simpering onc or nurse - the "oh you poor thing" doesn't help anyone.
Thanks everyone.

UserError Tue 26-Feb-13 19:14:57

PenisColada, that's quite good news then.

Coorong, I'm sorry you've had to join our club. Cancer is the one club you never want to be in! I have no experience of mx but my cancer was 15mm and grade 3. I was diagnosed in Aug 2011 and there is feck all left of it now. Yours does sound very, very treatable. Chin up chuck, you'll get through it, I promise.

Popping on quickly as this is my third attempt as I keep losing my posts.

Sounds like appointments went well. 1 node is good news pen and coorong sounds like you have been caught at a very early stage which is excellent. I was dx last March with a grade 3 1.7 cm Er/pr/her2 positive bc.

<pops head under tablecloth> amber perhaps they have decided to put you on cholesterol tablets along with your bp meds.

gigs hope you are starting to feel better.

Very positive meeting today with my boss. They have agreed to me doing a phased return using last year's holidays but have said not to feel under any pressure to come back and come back when I'm ready. So feel huge relief.

£400 mas <faints>

snailsontour Tue 26-Feb-13 20:11:35

Vino is mandatory on Dx day coorong - my breast surgeon said so! But the stingy devil didn't give me a prescription for anysad
I've heard good things about the LD flap - although if you go rock climbing, or play competitive tennis then other types would suit you best. Happily it does affect your ability to raise a glasssmile

snailsontour Tue 26-Feb-13 20:13:05

Oops, I meant doesn't affect... - but you knew that anyway didn't you!!

smee Tue 26-Feb-13 20:42:13

x-posted with you Pen. 1 node out of 15 shows it's not got v.far, so yay! Obviously it's a bugger it's in one, but still good. Great you have a plan now. smile

Gracie, that's great news on work. Hooray for kind boss. smile

Coorong, wine essential and well known on here for getting rid of cancer. smile

Snails, you're right Letrozole is for post menopausal women. I have still to get my head round that being me. I had a chemo-pause and periods never returned. Good news I think as tumour was v.hormone positive, but still a bit weird to go through menopause that way. Am 47 and waiting for my first whisker. grin

jchocchip Tue 26-Feb-13 21:08:27

wine wine for medicinal purposes. Well done everyone.

sandripples Tue 26-Feb-13 22:01:05

Smee - That's very naughty - I'm 58 and whiskers are not to be mentioned except on cats....

Anyway, I don't know about letrozole but I'm on Anastrozole which is also for post-menopausal ladies without whhiskers, so could be similar. Side effects can be nasty but I'm lucky and haven't them, and I now firmly believe in not reading about the millions of SEs from these long term drugs unless you happen to start having any of them...actually I did feel stiff joints for the first 2-3 months but that disappeared.

Smee and KK - thanks for asking about DS. He is working incredibly hard on his course, and seems to be managing the possible break up with his girlfriend pretty well - no final decision yet it seems. I'm relieved it doesn't seem to have knocked him too badly so far, and I think he's concentrating on building up his friendship group in London and also just keeping up with the vast work-load!
Otherwise we're all well thanks and just keeping heads above water at work etc. Two little breaks booked - yay- a walking week in Austria with old friends (ie of many years standing, not as in whiskery) and 6 days in Italy later on, with my chums that I do Italian with - you may recall my jaunt to Pisa as soon as I'd finished chemo in 2010 - I have very fond memories of that despite being so tired on day 2 that all I could do was stay on the tourist bus and go round Florence in a big circle for 2 hours! It was a great trip and I felt triumphant to do it after the 7 months of chemo - SO LADIES on CHemo- hang on in there and plan a treat at the end as soon as you can!

Good luck to the newer people on here - some good news I see - relatively speaking that is. And I agree - once you have a better idea what you're dealing with, and a treatment plan, life after diagnosis does improve.

just whizzing in to say that coorong and pen's results sound pretty ok and dealable with - hooray for only 1 node pen - wine all round I think.
Waves to everyone as i head for bed.

KurriKurri Tue 26-Feb-13 23:33:01

Wandering in on my way to bed to say I think HND had latissimus dorsi recon (apologies if I am wrong) so she may well have words of wisdom for you coorong smile I'm having diep flap,because i am keen on swimming and plastic surgeon thought LD might affect that, - will you have a chance to talk over the recon options with a plastic surgeon?

SR - your planned holidays sound lovely, - enjoy yourself, and I'm glad your DS is coping with the girlfriend troubles, building up his friendship groups at uni sounds like a very sensible attitude.

Also I'd like to generously offer some of my whiskers to Smee those who are boasting sad that they don't have any grin

KurriKurri Tue 26-Feb-13 23:34:19

Oh and I managed to introduce the speaker tonight without spitting, falling over or getting his name wrong - and that's about as good as it gets grin

well done kk !

jchocchip Wed 27-Feb-13 08:01:18

Morning all! Day off work today grin have loads of washing to get through but will try to get to knitting group and spend some time in my greenhouse and look at my coursework later.
amber hope there is no need to be under the trolley today? Get to your gp and get bp done and prescription changed.
Dd had day off school yesterday after school nurse sent her home on Monday. Bit annoyed as unbroken attendance before this. And I think it has something to do with late night out on Sunday rather than real ick iyswim.
Can I persuade dh to put a brew on, I wonder?

Lonecatwithkitten Wed 27-Feb-13 09:15:09

Sorry ladies I haven't been around for a while. As we got further and further from the biopsy I just tried to think about it less and less. We on Sunday evening the phone rang at 9pm it was the consultants practice manager to so the biopsy results are clear, however, he does still want to see me again.
This begins to make everything a bit clearer the weird blood test results etc - I think it could be one of my immunemediated conditions on the march again, they attack connective tissue which the breast is. So of the other symptoms have flared up in the last week so I guess it's back to the hard core drugs for that then. Thank you all so much for your lovely support I am very grateful you are all trememndously special ladies. I will report back after my appointment on the 7th March.

excellent news lonecat grin that's brilliant.

OneInEight Wed 27-Feb-13 10:56:01

Threads on primary education and special needs are rubbing an extremely raw nerve so thought I'd come out of the wilderness and say hello back here rather than writing a rude response. Herceptin finished abruptly when ds1 decided to walk out of the ward into the hospital carpark. It is difficult trying to catch a distressed ten-year old with a drip in your arm and yes with hindsight I was mad to take him but then hindsight is a wonderful thing. Anyway they say I have had enough and that is fine with me. Will continue with the tamoxifen as other than the odd hot flush of an evening I seem to cope OK with that. I have developed an awful habit of bursting into tears on people which might also be the tamoxifen but given everything that has gone on this past year I think a few tears are therapeutic. Ds2 made a very splendid sticky toffee pudding so will put that on the trolley for all to share although I have to warn you that you will not be able to move for several hours after indulging!

hey oneineight so lovely to see you - but sad for ds - hope he is ok.

OneInEight Wed 27-Feb-13 11:26:22

Hello MAS - hope you are doing O.K. ds is surviving just but even after screaming for help for him and his brother for over a year it has still not materialised - hence why I get so angry about other threads.

thegreylady Wed 27-Feb-13 13:02:53

Back again and moaning sad I have just started a new thread in GH as I have had a pain low in my abdomen and have convinced myself I have ovarian cancer! I went to the GP about the pain and didn't mention my fears.He said to wait 48 hours and go back if I still had pain.You dont need to comment but I felt I needed to crawl into a corner in here and hide-sorry.

aw greylady a hug for you is in order...
Am totally knackered after walking to town and back, which is very poor.

PenPerson Wed 27-Feb-13 14:04:43

Time for a nc, you will never guess who I am grin

grin !

Gigondas Wed 27-Feb-13 16:52:08

I simply cannot think wink

Yay for pen and cooramg. Sits on paranoia box for greylady.

Oneineight- sorry things are tough but some of those educational threads are better examples of mental health problems (see some of relationship threads) than any useful debate or support.

jchocchip Thu 28-Feb-13 00:09:28

Lost my post and now it is after midnight I'm sorry I just have to wave to grey and 1in8 and pen (wonder who?). It sounds like you have a lot on your plate 1in8 so not surprising that you are weepy at times. Usual advice from my gp- find some me-time and go for a 10 minute walk at lunch time.
Check up with surgeon tomorrow morning.

<sneaking in to see if anyone's up as having a bit of a fit of the horrors>

I had a diagnostic/excision biopsy two weeks ago and get the results tomorrow. I have been telling myself repeatedly that 80% of these things are nothing to worry about, and been busy anyway, but today and tonight have been... wobbly. I also have a Wierd Lump on one finger that I have a GP appointment about, so I keep imagining that every twinge, ache or zit means that I'm actually riddled with tumours and about to die.

If it's all fine tomorrow I will pop back, wish you all well and run headfirst into a barrel of booze....

sgb glad you've popped by and really hope all will be well. Do you think finger thing might be a ganglion, or a bit of arthritis (I had odd bump on wrist which disappeared after a while and my index finger joints seem to be suffering from arthritis so are lumpy)
jane hope appointment goes well smile

Gigondas Thu 28-Feb-13 07:44:23

Good luck jchoc.

Sgb - sorry we were all too drunk or overdosed on fbs to be around when you were wobbling.

Waiting is worst bit and everything does become a cancer symptom. But even if it is sinister (and you are right that it is likely not), bc is very treatable these Days.

Proud of myself as managed day back in work and saw dr who has changed my pain relief script( so on nortryptiline now which I think you mentioned kurri).

Trying it for a few days to see how it goes but last night was better. Had usual wobble when mentioned possiblilitu of another scan to check neck/shoulder.

I know it's unlikely it's cancer given my condition, amount have been checked and way pain is But i still worry . it is like when they had to check my leg- which is now so much better thanks to this dr / his team. So I suppose at least I know if anyone can help, he can.

I did smile a bit as said this is something he usually see in his rugby player clients so hope his dosage is for me not some great big rugby player.

hope it works for you gig x
btw - did the picture arrive safely ?

topsyturner Thu 28-Feb-13 09:09:05

Morning All

Good luck for today Jane and SGB
Fingers crossed for you both .

Well done on getting through another day Gigs (another day at work I mean , not just life in general grin )

Anyone take sleeping tabs ?
I really not sleeping well right now .
Getting a couple of hours between 3 and 6 am . And I have made myself NOT nap during the day , but that's still not helping .

My sister phoned me yesterday .
Her best friends younger sister (I used to play with her a lot when I was a wee girl) just got a BC diagnosis .
Haven't got the full details as friend has got a touch of the Just Diagnosed Hysterics , but she's def got to have mx and chemo .

Why are people still getting this fucking disease ?
Why can't we find a cure/preventer ?
<wanders off for deep thoughts and poss choccie (sorry Mas) >

KurriKurri Thu 28-Feb-13 12:47:33

hello all, massive good thoughts to all people feeling wobbly today and having appointments, good luck to all x

grey lady - are you seeing your Go again? - tell them what you are worried about, and they can often reassure you that cancer is very unlikely. If you want further investigations then ask for them, i find they are usually willing to do that for people who have had cancer. I'm sorry you are feeling scared sad, I'm sure everything will be fine, but I know it is horrid when you have a worry xx

SGB - I hope everything goes well for you today, sorry we were all to zonked out to respond last night. I think we need a night watch on this thread because that's the worse time for worrying. Come back to let us know how you get on, and if you need some support or have questions just ask smile - but fingers crossed you will be having a largewine and heaving a sigh of relief.

I second MAS suggestion of ganglion on finger - Dh had one on the inside fleshy bit of his finger a couple of months ago, and it was weird, but has now mysteriously disappeared, - I think they are fluid filled and sometimes burst. But show yours to the doc for reassurance sake smile

topsy - so sorry to hear about your friend's sister. point her in the direction of this thread when she's feeling calmer. You are right, fucking horrible bastard disease. I am losing a friend to it at the moment and it is shit seeing her going downhill sad

jane - hope appt. goes well for you, <hollow laugh at GP's idea of finding me-time when you are so busy!>

Gig - glad you have some different pain killers, - mine is amytriptiline (sp?) I took a dose last night and didn't get up till eleven this morning blush but I did get a good night's sleep, thank God as I had reached murderous levels of tiredness!

DD has an RSI of some description in her hand, which is very annoying for her as she has been given more work by her opera singer, and it is complicated stuff to work on, - pracitising hurts atm. She has a docs appt on Friday, so hoping she can get it sorted out as she's saying she might not be able to do the job otherwise (which would be a real shame as it could be quite a lucrative source of income)

Who is this new Penperson???? welcome anyway, we had someone here with a similar but slightly more anatomical name, - you may have passed her on the way in grin

Waving to MAS and everyone else. We have sunshine at last (bitter east winds as always, but SUN) I ate quite a lot of chocolate yesterday, two friends had b'day's - one at weekend, but she is off to Spain on Saturday, the other's birthday is 29th Feb, so she was deciding whether to have it today or Friday grin

Please feel free to come and do my housework, I have to sit and drink coffee as I have a very minor terrible papercut on my knuckle, attempting to wash dishes could be fatal.

KurriKurri Thu 28-Feb-13 12:48:59

sorry greylady - Go should read GP.

poor dd kk - really hope she gets sorted out,esp as her playing is really taking off.
Just had a garbled conversation with the practice nurse who did my disastrous smear - I am always embarrassed to see her now -we were crossing the road so it was brief blush

AshokanFarewell Thu 28-Feb-13 13:51:25

Hello everyone,

Panic over, on further questioning it turned out the friend who had identified me had actually identified me on a forum I used to use years ago and had completely forgotten about, so I'm safe to pop back on and see how everyone is doing smile

Lonecat good news about our biopsy, although the other condition doesn't sound much fun either! I hope you can get sorted easily smile thanks

SGB good luck for today, hopefully it will be totally harmless.

greylady I hope you can get some reassurance soon and it's all completely fine, it must be worrying for you.

topsy sorry about your friend. Cancer does seem to be everywhere, especially breast cancer.

KK I hope your daughter's hand gets sorted on Friday smile

Good wishes to everyone with appointments/ongoing treatment etc.

I saw Dr Wanker again yesterday - no apology, he pretended nothing had happened, until he made a snide remark at the end of the appointment. Interestingly I spoke to several other patients, no one had anything good to say. Even had an off the record conversation with a staff member - he shouted at her in front of a patient! So bizarre that nothing is being done about him. There's another oncologist I could swap to so I'm looking into that. Will be making a formal complaint through PALS and luckily my boyfriend's family are heavily involved in patient relations type stuff in our PCT so lots of contacts there... Cannot believe he is getting away with treating staff and patients so badly angry

KurriKurri Thu 28-Feb-13 14:09:35

Hello asho - lovely to see you again smile - sorry you had to encounter Dr Wanker again though, I hope you can manage to swap, the last thing you need when you are dealing with cancer is a nasty onc. Some consultants are so arrogant it beggers belief!

loneCat - I also meant to say, so pleased that you got good results, - that is brilliant smile

MAS - oh dear about smear nurse meeting grin, - at least it was brief. I have been known to take huge and complex detours to avoid people I don't want to see, - usually dragging DH with me and hissing 'it's X, quick, hide, hide' while he looks bemused (and being aspie he doesn't really do deception and cunning grin)

ashokan lovely to have you back...grr about Dr W though- he must be mighty powerful in the hospital to be able to get away with such vile behaviour.

Copthallresident Thu 28-Feb-13 14:54:09

Sorry I am going to come on without having done my homework, leave here for a day or so and so much happens, so apologies if I miss the elephant in the room.

SGB All those midnight horrors are not unusual when waiting, hard to be rational at 3am. Hope your appointment went well. I had a lump on my joint on my finger that worried me for a while, when my long list of nagging cancers worries finally got so long I got off my bum and went to the Dr turned out it was arthritis and using Paracetamol gel cleared it up in days.

Ash Glad to have you back. I got to the bottom of the daughter stalking as well, <*v. important for iPad users*> when you press the home button and off button at the same time it takes a photo which goes into your photo library, the little buggers gorgeous's had been looking at photos and then suddenly found that I had inadvertently taken photos of these pages for them to peruse for teasing purposes blush At least it isn't quite as bad as when they got onto my Facebook page and changed my status to single........and then posted lots of cougar like quotes "You're as young as the body you feel" that sort of thing...........gah!

Topsy KK It is a absolute sodding awful bugger

Topsy <greets fellow zombie>

I had sleeping pills in the back of my drawer, but DH nicked them because he had run out and was having a really awful time at work, then when he went to the doctor to get more he was told he had to go into rehab be weaned off them, took ages to get his sleep patterns back to normal and he doesn't have hormones so I got put off.

Also tried on dr's advice special cooling mattresses, banning all light from the room, especially clocks, never doing anything in the bedroom but sleeping hmm not yet tried Ovaltine, and giving up alcohol completely, though I usually stick to cramming my entires weeks drinking into w/ends

It's been an awful week for me on that front, 3 hours the night before last and then had really busy day yesterday up in town, you know that scene from Shaun of the Dead when they are on the escalator......

smee You asked ages ago, yes banned from Letrosole because I have a low hip score or have I got mixed up with goon dog grin They don't really monitor it because aside from Calcium supplements there is not a lot they can do until I break something. Funnily another friend just got diagnosed and she didn't have an early menopause etc. so I suppose it could have happened anyway. Mind you she has the compensation of having been gorgeously skinny all her life...........

Copthallresident Thu 28-Feb-13 15:06:18

Ash Forgot to say, good for you complaining about the wonky oncy. I think the problem is that if they got rid of all the arrogant obnoxious doctors of a certain age it would be very difficult in terms of legal process, they have been there a long time and are mostly competent in terms of their expertise, and would leave a big hole because not so long ago, in Neanderthal times, that wasn't seen as a problem, indeed it was part of the culture. The wonky oncy who treated my friends is still there inflicting his misery and grumpiness on patients and nurses, and they keep complaining. Sadly negative feedback probably doesn't touch the sides of their impregnable egos.

What is good is that as a whole the medical profession appreciate it is a problem. It has been reassuring that DD's friends who have been accepted for medicine are the kind ones with lots of emotional intelligence and empathy who want to do it for the right reasons and the super clever ones who just want to be DOCTORS but would be horrified by cleaning up an old person's poo are the ones who get rejected.

Copthallresident Thu 28-Feb-13 15:10:16

Gah! Completely messed up my --s and my *s , too tired to care...........

Copthallresident Thu 28-Feb-13 15:14:22

BTW did someone mention whiskers? What's the problem, they help you feel your way through the undergrowth in the dark <licks back of hand and proudly cleans hers>.

Hi all and thanks for good wishes. I am clear, it's fine, it was a cyst or a fibrowhatsit. So I'll bow out politely with very best wishes to everyone else.

fab news sgb -celebrate ! grin

KurriKurri Thu 28-Feb-13 18:37:48

brilliant news SGB, - so pleased for you, - huge sigh of relief and wine for you tonight grin

coorong Thu 28-Feb-13 18:49:22

checking in to say hello - I enjoyed everyone's contribution to the Macmillan thread - quite right about the "oh you poor thing". There's a nurse like that at my hospital - I want to thump her!
ASH - if there is an Onc, or indeed any doctor, who is arrogant and treats people like dirt, please say something, please complain. If he's rude, then he probably doesn't listen to advice when things are wrong and could be putting patients in danger. His colleagues are probably equally fed up.

COPthall sorry you're not sleeping. A company called "this works" makes a sleep spray which is relaxing and may be useful (or not). I used ot have real trouble sleeping and partly got over this with more exercise and light exposure and also by convincing myself that simply lying in bed was as good as sleep. It makes me less anxious about not sleeping, so I relax and then actually fall asleep! Kind of circular CBT - if that makes sense. I don't believe in any witch doctory hocus pocus, but i reckon in the same way you can talk yourself into anxiety, you should be able to talk yourself out of it!

<<sunshine emotican>> to all!

Hello all. I've not read at all, but wanted to mark my place. I've joined the C club, diagnosed today.

Breast tumour, fast growing and invasive with one 'funny' lymph node, lots of treatment to come. I'm mostly ok but probably still in shock. I've got two kids, age 3 & 6.


Gigondas Thu 28-Feb-13 18:55:22

Hands wineto sparkle.

This is worst time when shock sinks in- when you are in treatment and have a plan , it seems more bearable.

My kids are 1 and 4 and I know lots of others here have very little ones too .

Sometimesiwonder Thu 28-Feb-13 19:13:52

Hi Sparkle, welcome. It's a bit of a shock, isn't it? My d was 5 when I was diagnosed - she's nearly 10 now and I'm still here. Like Gig says, you'll fel a bit better when there's a plan and you've started along the path.

Knock back that virtual wine and have a real one or even two, if you can.

KurriKurri Thu 28-Feb-13 19:30:50

Welcome, gentle hug, and wine for sparkle, - sorry you have had to join the cancer club, you will be reeling from the news - it takes time to sink in, so give yourself time. Once you get your treatment plan in place, it will all become a bit more doable and less scary.

Ask anything you need to - no topics out of bounds on here. Several people on here with little ones, so they will have plenty of tips on how to explain thing to your kids.

hello Sometimes - how are you doing old bean?

Waving to Coorong (one of the practice nurses at my GP was a member of the 'poor thing' gang - 'Oh dear you have been in the wars' was her catchphrase whenever I went through the door sporting my baldy hairdo grin)

Gig - how is the lurgy today? better I hope.

Sometimesiwonder Thu 28-Feb-13 19:37:20

Hi KK, am waving madly! I'm OK thanks, how are you? I read about your lovely surgeon - you'll be at target weight in no time.

Still really busy here, but the iPad is good it means I can type, albeit badly, and keep up a bit better when I am sick of sitting at my desk.

Did I mention I've bought tickets to see a Roxy Music tribute band? Stupidly excited, I loved BF in his heyday, I can see myself getting al over excited and screamy. Am hiding this from the people I'm going with, seems safest for now

UserError Thu 28-Feb-13 19:59:36

Sparkle, my DS was only 15 months old when I was diagnosed. As Gigondas and KurriKurri say, there are lots of us here who've coped with small ones. It's a really shitty situation to be in but there is help out there.

I know your head is probably reeling with information now and I remember how hard it is to take things in, so please, just know that if you have any questions about help with nursery funding, looking after your children etc, we've been through it and can help you when you're ready. wine thanks

KurriKurri Thu 28-Feb-13 20:17:07

Ooh Roxy Music I used to love BF too, I have a BF greatest huts album somewhere that I like to wail along with in the car grin

yes surgeon is lovely, and hopefully I should be rocking my new tit before the end of the year grin

KurriKurri Thu 28-Feb-13 20:18:07

Greatest huts??? - who knew Brian had opened a garden shed business? hits obv.<sigh>

Gigondas Thu 28-Feb-13 20:22:05

Rocking just the one tit?

Lurgy better (have managed two days at work) and new drugs seemed to work . But today been really bad so am taking it easy- suspect work on computer not great.

Can't drink while am trying new painkiller hmm.

Topsy and copthall- my sleep is shit thanks to mini gig (there is really no need to wake your parents at 3am to show you can say mama and dada) , shoulder (its more neuralgia down my arm now) and just general post chemo etc. what is this cold mattress as sounds great. I do think magnesium supplements help as I can generally get off easier and sleep for a couple of hours with them.

Got second instalment of course tomorrow so will bring back advice and book tips etc.

coorong Thu 28-Feb-13 20:25:19

hi sparkle, sorry to hear your news. I joined this week (diagnosed Tuesday) and my daughters are 5 and 7, I had a large wine that evening. it's all rather weird, but i've been asking anyone and everyone who they know has had and survived BC and it seems everyone knows someone, many of whom have been through hell, but they're still very much here.
talking on this forum has helped me, i hope it helps you.

I love Avalon - it's a great track

Thanks for the welcome and I'm glad / very sad to know that others have been through it too.

Any thoughts on weening my daughter? It makes sense and was already in progress, but the timescale has seriously moved up. (She's 3 and it happens a couple times a day, but she's quite emphatic about it.)

Hi coorong, Nice (selfishly) to have another newbie and very happy to hear most people get through.

I don't have family here. Did anyone else get through it without family, or are they pretty much essential?

Sometimesiwonder Thu 28-Feb-13 20:44:25

Sorry I know nothing about weaning, I am the world's most vague mother. Childminder carried me through.

Avalon is indeed v nice, but I'm more of the Both Ends Burning era myself. Oh God I'm going to hyperventilate and it's still 2 months away .

Gig I think you are doing very well to be at work. You go, girl - but only gently.

PenPerson Thu 28-Feb-13 20:55:16

Just dropping in to show my face.

Welcome to the thread none of wanted to be on sparkle but once here it is a wonderful place. The ladies have got me through my rather rude start to the year.

I am a bit wobbly today. I feel like a patient again as Monday my meds stop and low iodine diet starts and appointments / phone calls from specialist onc nurses are happening. I had managed to start feeling over the surgery now I feel the next hurdle is here.

Sorry to bring a downer. My cancer Tourette's is returning too. I had to ring my office today and was met by offish ness from admin.

Did you tell people you work with ? My immediate colleagues know but I guess it will be easier to just tell admin etc to stop the bad feelings about being off sick.

Has anyone made any life changes since dx ? We are considering a pretty big change brought on by what has happened.

ned I will text you about Monday if we are still on. I promise to be cheery by then grin

UserError Thu 28-Feb-13 21:35:43

I told pretty much anyone and everyone at work that I'd have to come into contact with, either face-to-face or on the phone. I think you should tell people only if it makes things easier for you. It made it easier for me, so I did it. If it makes it harder for you, then don't. As the annoying meerkats say, 'Seemples'. wink

I have spent the evening wasting money browsing Ebay and Ohmigod, everyone RIGHT NOW go and look at the pill boxes on offer. Rainbow colours! Fuck my plain boring clear plastic one from the pound shop, I'm going designer!

amberlight Thu 28-Feb-13 21:39:23

I told people I work with straight away, yes. Was all fine. Big life changes - only my attitude, which has gotten far less tolerant of being treated badly. A good thing. Though I'd rather not have had cancer.

Hello lovely new people. Welcome from me also. Odds are 99 out of 100 in your favour to start with (may vary over time). So that's not bad as a starting position. Meantime, here will all are.
Me, right now, herding two stray pekignese dogs round the house, having found them wandering about outside. Dog warden on the way. So I'm in the kitchen entertaining them.

Copthallresident Thu 28-Feb-13 22:13:41

Hi Sparkle Sounds very much like my lump, nasty aggressive hyperactive little bugger which had also invaded a lymph node, but that was 11 years ago! One of my BC treatment friends developed it whilst breastfeeding as well, and that was 11 years ago too. The treatment isn't a walk in the park, though for Amber on here it seems to have been a mere amble grin but we do all know what it is like. I am sure amongst us you will find every variation on feelings, coping strategies and side effects. The shock does wear off and at some point you do realise that you can smile again and get on with your life, a little different to what you assumed but the new normal can be good, and even boring at times.........

My family were 300 miles away, but friends rallied around, the ones that were any good anyway, we had already had to do it for one friend so it was quite a well organised machine. I've seen it from both sides now <bursts into Joni Mitchell> Don't be afraid to ask, people are so relieved when they can actually do something they know will help, instead of wondering and worrying whether they should offer and what they can do, cooking casseroles / soup, looking after children whilst you are having chemo, keeping you company whilst having chemo. We put together rotas. Also if you can afford it get a cleaner, the one we got still works for us 11 years later.

Not a good weaner, just carried on until they got bored, but that was around 18months, can you replace it with some other reward or ritual , "you're a big girl now so I thought you would like to do something more grown up". Mine came into bed with me in the mornings until they were really quite big and hairy and almost teens and I think that partly went back to the fact it became a ritual when I was ill, even when I felt my worst they would come into bed and have a cuddle, then I would do their hair ready for school. They were 5 and 7 too Coorong

Thanks Coorong too for sleep tips. I'll look at spray. I have sort of arrived at the "lying in bed is just as good as actual sleep" strategy, and got quite good at the relaxation and visualisation stuff during treatment. The problem is post menopausal women lack the melatonin that actually knocks you over the edge into sleep. So it can take hours to go off and then when I get to sleep the hormones go into overdrive and heat me up to boiling point and I wake up again sopping wet... It's all very very boring not least because I know exercise would help and I used to be a bit of a gym bunny but I'm always so tired. I also do get the SADs in winter so light is probably a factor too but then I do have to walk goondog come what may to curb his lunacy so I do get more exercise (think cheetah pulling along old lady on lead) and light than most. I can't help thinking whoever or whatever designed us didn't think women past having a baby needed a life, sod 'em, it's probably them what writes the Daily Mail angry.............

gigs This sort of thing, although mine is a memory foam one can't seem to find mine on google now. It is lovely and comfortable but doesn't really help with the tossing and sweating.........

Seems to be a lot of wine around this evening, oh all right then, puts Cava and nibbles on trolley. wine and treats for Pekingese's <goondog bounces up to sniff their bums, they look at him down their noses and say "looooser", he says I am Sauron's minion, they bow>

Copthallresident Thu 28-Feb-13 22:29:32

<lopes off coolly in tiger skin leotard and ears wooping, and whipping tiger tail> just like at the Roxy Music concert in 1976 I did when Brian was my minion

Gah sparkle that's a bugger but welcome and I.'m certain that once treatment starts or you have a definite plan things'll seem
easier- the shock of dx takes a while to get your head around
GIG please tell me that the picture has arrived - am fretting ! envybiscuitwinethanksbrew

topsyturner Fri 01-Mar-13 00:44:32

Evening All

Welcome Sparkle
Ask anything you want .
You may have gathered by now that NOTHING is off limits here !

<Sauron demands to be worshipped by new Peke interlopers>

Oh Shiite , lost my train of thought now ...

topsyturner Fri 01-Mar-13 00:47:11

<hums Slave To Love>
Have best of Brian Ferry/Roxy Music on TAPE CASSETTE !!!
<is very old , has large cassette collection>

OneInEight Fri 01-Mar-13 06:55:19

PenPerson,we are planning a large life change involving change of jobs and location. dh is currently doing a very long commute which does him or the rest of the family no good. I want to be closer to the family members who showed real support through all the bc business. Sadly, my father died shortly before Christmas so it is a big regret we didn't do the move a long time ago. In some ways it feels like running away from the troubles of the last year and we maybe mad to do it now. In other ways it gives us a light at the end of a very black tunnel.

Good-luck to anyone with appointments today & too Sparkle and Corrong the past year has not been nice with all the treatment but you do get through it.

Gigondas Fri 01-Mar-13 06:58:27

Crawls on before course for brew. Had worst night with pain - must be to do with over doing it at work (prob computer). Can sauron help?

I found the bottle fairy worked a treat with my eldest at 3 . She was reluctant to drop the last feed (I know it's slightly different to bf but she still liked the idea of it for comfort). Can you try talking to her about being big girl as copthall suggests and then produce some lovely gift .

jchocchip Fri 01-Mar-13 07:09:52

Morning all. Bugger to welcome you on here sparkle
I tried to update last night but fell asleep before reading everything sad

Anyway saw another surgeon yesterday and everything is normal. Lumps I was worrying about are edge of muscle and bone that have appeared from under a layer of blubber grin
Was a bit emo so walked part of the way back to work. Remembered last year when talked to lovely friend after check up which set me off.
Anyway must dash - big city today on a course.

excellent news jane !
poor gig - am sure Sauron magic can be applied.

topsyturner Fri 01-Mar-13 08:33:23

That's great Jane , I love a bit of good news !

<Sauron farts , rolls over in his bed , tells Gigs he'll give her a lick and a sniff later>

topsyturner Fri 01-Mar-13 08:34:22

1in8 good for you and DH to be making plans like that !

Well, last night she was actually more ok with not nursing than I thought she'd be. 2 minutes of very emphatic resistance then sleep. I decided to try cold turkey as I thought anything else would be confusing. We haven't talked about presents yet, but grandma is here so lots of distraction.

snailsontour Fri 01-Mar-13 14:06:01

Sorry you've had to join the club sparkle - but these girls are lovely - although you not think so when you find that all that cake eating and wine drinking plays havoc with your waist line!

Finally got my new glasses - only waited five, or was it six weeks? Feel very much like the new girl in glasses as they are my first varifocal, and they are taking a bit of getting used to!

Sometimesiwonder Fri 01-Mar-13 15:07:38

Is there a pic, snails?

New specs always make me feel tall confused and I'm only 5'1

Gigondas Fri 01-Mar-13 15:28:46

Presents will be all you can talk about when she gets idea of it sparkle- big gig was all but pushing me out the door as came to associate hospital trips with presents wink. But glad nursing weaning is going ok.

Yes we want a new specs photo.

Shoulder a bit better as saw physio and am more drugged than lance Armstrong. Course was very good - was about anxiety and emotional stuff today.

Lots of good advice (mindfulness was stressed) from guy running it. He was suggesting breathing technique (5 secs in thru nose and same out thru mouth - need to do it for at least a minute and practice but is proved to help anxiety attacks).

Also had this idea of tapping your middle finger and humming to clear your mind when you cant sleep as helps focus mind so easier to switch off. Said the sleeplessness and feeling most shitty at silly o clock. Also said that its most abnormal not to feel at your worst then so trying to relax and sleep is a good tip.

Was nice to share experiences and stories except for one person who reckoned she felt ok and never worried about cancer and was it normal to feel like this. Obviously I am paraphrasing a bit but I did hmmabout this as she clearly hadn't got the bit where dr said to try to be tactful about what you say (was quite clear that she was about the only one In the room who fear of recurrence was not an issue).

But All in good- next week is about food and diet. I am allowed to ask questions so if anyone has any do let me know as can pass them on.

jchocchip Fri 01-Mar-13 18:18:51

It's the weekend! Is it too early for a wine ?
gig so if she is so sorted, why is she on the course???

Mmmm food.

topsyturner Sat 02-Mar-13 00:08:06

Didn't happen to be a course on dealing with pain and phantom pain was it Gig ?
Cos if it were , my bil and sil were on it today !

Last thing HND said to me was " don't you go on mumsnet and blame me for getting you drunk again"
Guess what ........... ?

Gigondas Sat 02-Mar-13 02:38:32

Hnd you naughty woman -stop pouring wine into topsy.

Was general course on living well that didn't really cover pain today (and you are right jchoc that wouldn't be there if so together).

Would have been useful if it did as up again waiting for pain killers to kick in. I swear some of it is habit now when I wake up but seeing dr again on Monday so will tweak prescription more. I suppose good news is pain was bearable in day - it's night that is horrid.

NedSchneebly Sat 02-Mar-13 10:32:11

Morning all smile

Blimey, this working business does so get in the way of catching up on everything. Been rather hectic getting ready for next week - have got lesson observation on Wednesday and World Book Day on Thursday so madly trying to get everything ready. Everything needs overplanning with my class, so they don't have a moment to get silly!

Amusing exchange overheard outside my classroom -
child 1: J and D (2 children in my class) kissed. . . on the LIPS!
Child 2: yes, s-e-x, s-e-x!
Child 3: yeah, that's what kissing is. . .

Hilarious. . .

Question - how can I subtly ask my counsellor how many more sessions he thinks I need, without it being awkward? Or is there no easy way? I am paying for 5 sessions at a time at the moment, because I don't want to be worrying about having cash every week, and have a couple more left before I need to give him some more money. I don't know how to bring it up. It;s going really well and I really think it is helping, but I know that I could get really reliant on him and end up going for months, which obviously becomes rather expensive! Any thoughts, oh wise ones?

coorong dx sounds manageable? I was diagnosed with 2.4cm grade 3 in January 2012 and I am still upright and breathing. Stick with us, and ask anything - we will inevitably know the answer!

pen looking forward to meeting on Tuesday smile (me and pen is doing lunch) Glad you liked your oncologist - I have heard pretty good things about him locally. One node - good news!

gracie your boss sounds great - glad to hear phased return to work is in place. Hope you're doing OK? How's the red patch?#

ONEINEIGHT ! Chemo buddy! good to see you! Sorry to hear about ds - poor lad. But good to have finished the Herceptin. Hope you are all doing OK x x x x

topsy I am on Trazadone - an AD with sedative effects and I love it. Apparently I am on enough to fell a horse quite a high dose, but I was doing exactly the same as you and only getting a few hours a night. I have been on it nearly a year now, and sleeping really well.

Ashokan welcome back to us!

sparkle sorry you have to join us, but we know pretty much all there is to know about everything, so ask away.

HND tipsy with topsy? Again?!! grin

Hope people got nice plans for the weekend? DS won a WHSmiths voucher for Player of the Month at football training so going into town to spend it this afternoon. May possibly have had something in my eye on the sideline when he was awarded it. . . it was very windy, maybe that's why my eyes were watering a teeny bit. . .

Love to you all x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x

arf @ your children ned !
I think it's fine to bring up the tapering off of sessions in your session - just say you feel awkward mentioning it but I think it's a good sign to be able to feel you can finish them (and you could always go back for a top up if you felt it would help I'm sure) I spent years seeing a very expensive psychotherapist (it was very strict analysis in fact) and felt unable to prise myself away - huge transference had gone on and I was totally attached to him.It ended thankfully by his relocating to Australia (very extreme !)
Not only has my credit card been defrauded but also my current account -wail !! angry but both credit card people and bank are on to it.

thank you thank you for the warm welcome.

Just needed to drop in - I thought I'd look up some cancer blogs as they're a format I've enjoyed before. The first 4 were by people who had either died or were dying.

F*ck. I was not ready for that.

Gigondas Sat 02-Mar-13 14:32:27

Sparkle- I avoid google or website (including even macmillan) as they depress the hell out of me for that sort of reason . Stay here - It is safer.

As the stats guru always says (our very own amber light), most info on net is very out of date (or just not there- dr google has no oncology qualifications).

Also the net (which I realise sounds a bit rich) is a bit of a magnet for the mad and desperate stories. You rarely get the I am not doing too badly type thing as opposed to the I am desperate , as generally those people don't feel a need to/hang out much in the net forums. You can apply the same logic here (you don't get many happy relationship or ttc stories on those boards).

You are in treatment now , doing something about your bc- the odds are definitely moving in your favour.

Ned- I echo mas advice (which is a bit rich as I am still with my therapist 5 years on). But counsellors are different as they are meant to be an aide as you need them rather than something deeper and more long term like psycho therapy. Maybe just phrase it as you have x number of money for sessions so can you agree a plan for what to cover.

smilethanksenvy- I had to put these in as big gig doesn't understand why I have no pictures in my post so she chose them.

jchocchip Sat 02-Mar-13 16:01:50

Whoops sparkle. Thing is as gig says blogs are self selecting. The majority of people have treatment and go back to work and don't have time to blog - if they did it would be really boring. I work with someone who had bc 20 years ago. Thing is I didn't know until my dx when she told me. Its 18 months since my dx and apart from a bit of paranoia and being less risk averse than I was, things are pretty much ok. My mil also is 10 years on from a mastectomy and doing well. Odds for bc are improving all the time. Natural to have a wobble at diagnosis but treatment is doable and you will come out the other side. ((Xx))

sandripples Sat 02-Mar-13 18:34:56

Ned - Due to my HR role I am in contact with our in-house counsellors at work and it is no problem for the individual to raise the issue of how many more sessions might be required/helpful.

Sparkle - just want to say hello and that I very much agree with jcchoc and Gigs - I'm on of those women who've had BC and gone back to work so have hardly any time to come on here - so take heart as there are lots of us! I found this thread a wonderful support during 2010 and just pop in occasionally now to say hello and that I'm thinking of you.Stay away from the Internet and work with what you actually know about your own individual situation - its hard as the information comes out a little at a time as you move through tests, op etc, but honestly, if you can, just deal with what you know and try not to let your brain whizz round all the unknwons as I found you just can't continue like that.

MAS - very sorry about your fraud - hope the bank is helpful. DH loved his card! I don't like to think of the (albeit small) amount of money I have paid for it being nicked!!

amberlight Sat 02-Mar-13 21:15:39

Sparkle, get away from blogs and web forums!! And google ye not. Your odds of doom are 1 in 100. That's the current fact. Be in really good contact with lovely people. Take vit D. Carry on with life as normal as you can and have all the fun you can fir in. Your body will do the rest. All that is pure science.
Hi everyone else :-)

well said amber -wise woman.
SR so pleased he liked the picture smile hope he had a very lovely birthday.

Thank you ladies (?), that was exactly what I needed to hear. I found a couple that looked funny and positive but ignored the rest. I also found some of the titles amusing (f•ckoffcancer, cancer is hilarious, titsup) and plan to use some seriously dark humour to get me through. Because I do intend to get through.

Good thoughts to anyone out there.

coorong Sun 03-Mar-13 07:25:24

Sparkles, I don't do hugs or hand holding but here's a thanks to cheer you. My family live in Australia - and the few in laws we have are at the other end of the country so, yes we don't have family locally. I do have what I call cup,of tea friends, the sort you can pop in for a cup of tea without ringing first, and I've told most of them what's going on so I think they're all ready and able to help entertain the children if needed. That said, we're not posh or rich, but we have a spare bedroom, so last year got an au pair. She gets the girls to school each morning and collects them afterwards, entertaind them etc. I think that will make life easiest for us - the whole school run (they walk to school) thing being managed.

Biggest concern is that I'm in the middle of a PGCE and it looks like my op will be in the middle of my second teaching block. I failed last year (for various reasons) and I hope that with four weeks off following a mx / reconstruction I'll be able to complete this. Any teachers out there think I'm dreaming?

P.s. lovely to see the sun out, that's the one I miss having grown up in the outback

PenPerson Sun 03-Mar-13 07:39:00

I looked at some forums etc but also found they were mostly full of people struggling or with rare complications. I don't look at them now and tend to stick to here instead. Much better place. I guess what I have is not that common and most people have never heard of it so there are not many places I can go for support.

Today is the last day of my medication before I have to stop for 3 weeks for treatment. A friend told me someone she knows was 'on his knees' without the medication and found it really bad and he is a 6 foot tough bloke. I really wish she had not told me that it was not helpful. I am also on a low iodine diet too. No fish or spam for me.

My main worry is the school run and sorting the children out. Helpfully my parents are away so I may have to call in a few favours.

I will have to go through this 2 weeks every time I have a scan so I had better get used to it.

Looking forward to a low iodine lunch with ned !

The dogs are going on a trial to the dog sitter today and hope the giant hooligan puppy does not disgrace himself. Last week he stole a chocolate spread sandwich form a small child in their beach hut. I was mortified.

jchocchip Sun 03-Mar-13 08:02:03

smile at giant hooligan puppy! [Brew] time. Maybe tiny eggs for breakfas, they make me smile

Gigondas Sun 03-Mar-13 08:12:49

brew All?

Hope puppy is good pengrin. I had lots of tales of doom about my treatment and I did all right. So I am always a bit scathing about the "great big bloke struggled" story as it affects everyone differently. Also speak up and tell your dr if you have side effects so they can help (they are very good at managing them).

Slowly getting there with painful shoulder- had much better night sleep so think am starting to crack painkiller combo/best position to sleep.thanks To smee as must have driven you insane when you had your back issues.

Mas-took the new pic to get framed for Mother's Day yesterday.

amberlight Sun 03-Mar-13 08:16:03

Yes please for brew

PenPerson Sun 03-Mar-13 08:24:37

Thanks gig you are right. I may sail through it. The side effects are extreme tiredness, muscle pains, weight gain and depression. They can't give me much for those I don't think apa form stuff ofr pain. It is only 3 weeks and then will be for the 2 weeks before each scan. Why is it I remember all the negative stories ?

The giant puppy is 9 months and 30 kilos so is a lot of dog when he hurls himself at people. He only does it to dog phobic people of course grin My hounds have their own FB page if any of you want a look pm me !

Gigondas Sun 03-Mar-13 08:34:06

Will pm you.

I think weight gain and depression are not uncommon cancer side effects.

On weight gain , ask to be referred to a dietician. I know I bang on about this but properly targetted diet advice can make all the difference (can help
With fatigue too) . What you eat and when can make a huge difference- you probably know some of this anyway but there is no substitute for an expert sitting down and telling you.

On depression, vent here, see if you can offload on your specialist nurse (or counsellor) or ask about anti depressants. Lots of people here have used them and they seem to work well .

Fatigue - lots of rest , trying to keep up some exercise (they have studies on how it does reduce fatigue effects) and acupuncture .

PenPerson Sun 03-Mar-13 08:42:53

I think as my symptome will be temporary and are caused by having no thyroid hormones for 3 weeks there is not much that can be done. They have told me people are very variable and some struggle with it and others are ok.

The irony is that I work with people with long term conditions and am supposed to be an expert on fatigue management and maximising functional independence grin.

I should be completley back to normal within a few weeks of starting the thyroxine again. We have a couple of days away arranged in the camper a few weeks after it is over. No dogs or children are coming (hence the dog sitting trial) and I can't wait.

sandripples Sun 03-Mar-13 08:46:53

Penperson - sorry I don't know what your specific condition is, but I do know that we're all warned about dreadful side effects and many people won't have the whole set - you will have some, and you'll be helped to manage tham - if not, then keep asking. For most people the SEs are manageable though often tough while you're going through them.

For fatigue, depression and weight - try gentle walking - as often as you can - even if only 10 minutes. I walked as much as possible for varying lengths of time depending on level of tiredness. I couldn't manage it every day of the 7 months treatment but I did manage a little most days and it helped with nausea too.

Gigs - have just read back a bit on the posts - I'm sorry you're having pain - is this a temporary or ongoing issue? Can't they hlp you with it? Pain is the worst side effect of all isn't it.

sandripples Sun 03-Mar-13 08:48:45

Pen - your expert knowledge will help then! Its probably worst while you're waiting and expecting it but not yet knowing quite how you'll feel. Good luck.

topsyturner Sun 03-Mar-13 10:19:13

Ooh ooh I wanna see the puppy !
What breed is your giant hooligan ?

Gigondas Sun 03-Mar-13 10:33:11

Think it's different when it is applied to yourself- read an article in the times by dr tania Byron where she admitted she was crying over the cot of one of her non sleeping babies whilst her dh read out advice from her own sleep book grin.

Sr- it's a stiff neck/shoulder which is also giving me nerve pain. Seems to be worst at night. Have seen physio who has given me exercises and it isn't getting worse (it is not so stiff now ) but it is still troubling. It is an old issue exacerbated by my op etc.

topsyturner Sun 03-Mar-13 10:33:23

Ooooooh seen them !
Beaaaauuutiful .
I think pig/dog would like me to bring one home to be his Very Best Friend
<not sure about the Very Muddy Dog look though gringringrin >

PenPerson Sun 03-Mar-13 11:14:49

This experience is defiantly going to change how I work. It is so so so different when it is you. That example of Tanya Byron has made me feel better thanks as I have been ignoring my own advice a lot recently.

Gigondas Mon 04-Mar-13 07:49:56

brew? Amber is it your dr appt for results today?

Not great night with pain so glad to see dr later.

Best get up as am sat in bed watching postman pat by myself like a loser.

jchocchip Mon 04-Mar-13 07:57:57

brew? Yes please. I've no excuse to watch postman pat sad
Hope doc can find a way to help the pain, gig.
I woke up with a frozen shoulder type of pain. First had it when I spent a week doing a temp job which had excessive mouse use. Only get it occasionally now if I sleep awkwardly on my right shoulder.
Hope you all have a good day. Must get ready and dash to work now.

topsyturner Mon 04-Mar-13 08:38:01

Morning All

Gentle hugs for you Gigs
You are having an awful time getting this pain managed aren't you ?
I would stay in bed with Postman Pat (ooh er) if I were you !

Test results Amber ?
I must have missed that .
Candle lit for you x

<tackles jane to ground and steals her coffee>

Am extremely tired today .
Determined not to day time nap though .
Sleep patterns have actually been quite good this weekend .
So don't want to banjax it all !

Who's in charge of brekkie this morning ?
I had a dream about toasted cheese and pickled onions last night shock

PenPerson Mon 04-Mar-13 09:16:06

Hope results all ok today amber

gigs sorry to hear you had a bad night and hope the dr offers solutions today.

Day 1 of no meds today. Guess who rememberd them today for a change then had to remember not to take them grin

PenPerson Mon 04-Mar-13 09:17:29

I can offer a low iodine breakfast if that tickles yer fancy ?

I am about to ring Waitrose to see if their bread has any iodine....

oh poor gig - I am sorry you are in so much pain, it's rotten sad
Think amber has results according to fb- am sure she'll be along shortly...
Am lugging 2 enormous bags of clothes/stuff for recycling to the charity shop -amazing how much I culled from my underwear/nightwear/socks drawers and from T's drawers -they actually shut now grin

smee Mon 04-Mar-13 11:13:31

Waving to all. Sorry I've been so absent. Was away with work for 3 days last week then came home to no broadband. Fixed now, so will try and catch up. How are we all? smile

amberlight Mon 04-Mar-13 13:57:57

This was blood test results. Cholesterol now high and heart age is 10 yes older than my age. But could be worse. Diet and fitness here we come. Inc is on 12th for annual check from her so that'll be next.
Thanks for remembering :-)

AshokanFarewell Mon 04-Mar-13 15:09:57

Hello everyone,

Welcome sparkle and sorry that you've had to join the thread. It is a very big shock and it will probably take a while to sink in. It's been just over 4 months since my diagnosis and I still have moments of complete disbelief!

I definitely agree with all the advice about blogs and forums. Most people only go online when they're in a panic. That's the good thing about this thread, as it's not a specific cancer website, people are on the site anyway and just happen to be having cancer treatment, so you get a more balanced view of it all. Everyone here is lovely and someone will almost always have an answer, whatever your question smile

amber sorry to hear about your heart/cholesterol but hopefully something you can work on fairly easily. I have high cholesterol too. My doctor was talking about statins but I read some slightly controversial books about it all and decided not to worry about it for now!

I'm very jealous of everyone's dogs. I would love one to snuggle up with.

I'm having a day in bed. I was already having a lazy morning as I woke up late and had some volunteer work to do on my laptop so thought I'd do that in bed. Then DP came home for lunch so was planning to get dressed after that but then threw up my lunch confused. Hopefully it was because it was McDonalds blush rather than anything else. Apart from that minor incident, this round of chemo is going swimmingly, I haven't really had any side effects, so I think it was definitely the oxiplatin causing all the problems last time.

thanks and smile to everyone, I hope you all have sunshine where you are

great news about the lack of side effect ashokan smile
amber hope you are ok
Am doing a drawing in return for another person's creative efforts - a needle felted Streetcat Bob for my best friend - I like bartering !

KurriKurri Mon 04-Mar-13 17:14:17

Hello all smile

Gig <hugs> - sorry the pain is bad atm, - I hope DR can help you sort it out, it's so draining especially I imagine when you have little ones - that's tiring enough in itself!

asho - glad the side effects are behaving this time, but day in bed sounds like a good idea anyway smile

amber - sorry about the cholesterol and heart results, but at least they have found out and can do something about it now, have they suggested statins for the cholesterol? (I have a couple of friends on these for high cholesterol)

MAS - well done for clothing cull, that's something I definitely need to do, I have a house full of junk and clothes I don't wear. I like the idea of artistic bartering grin

Waving to Smee, and everyone else - sorry I am a bit behind with posts, but hope everyone is OK atm.

I spent yesterday gardening and am very stiff today, but garden looks nice grin

Went to yoga this morning, and when I came home I found that someone hmm had chewed the corner off my library book. Old lady dog said DD did it, but I don't believe her - there were bits of paper stuck in her beard. I don't know what got into her - she hasn't chewed anything up since she was a puppy, and it's the whole corner of the book, including plastic dust cover and a big chunk out of about thirty pages shock
Anyway she was so tired out by her efforts, that she took my trousers out of the ironing basket and put them in her basket as nesting material. <rolls eyes>

Gigondas Mon 04-Mar-13 17:21:12

Yay for no side effects ash smile.

Amber- presumably this is due to your horror time on herceptin. Dh takes statins and doesn't seem to have too many issues with them. He had a long chat with consultant and was persuaded the pros outweigh the cons.

Seen nice dr (he is like a big teddy bear) who has given me some slow release horse pills on top of the ones I have and suggested no typing (interesting that you said that set you off jchoc). I even found time to visit the cake shop on way to see him so chocolate or red velvet cake for all.

Thanks for sympathy - in the day it's not too bad if dont over do it. It is most uncomfy at night which added into my duff sleep cycle makes things tiring.

wink At being in bed with postman pat- I am not sure which children's character I would like to cuddle up to but postman pat is down the list along with fireman Sam, the fat controller and Justin.

Sometimesiwonder Mon 04-Mar-13 18:16:39

Ha ha KK, my dog used to do that with clothes, for comfort when we went out. Used to specialise in taking dirty clothes out of the laundry basket. It used to make bringing friends home a bit interesting, they needed to be the sort of people who didn't mind stepping over a trail of dirty pants. Arf!

Hi all, hope everyone has had a decent day, and that everyone who didn't sleep last night have better luck tonight. I'm off the Pilates in a bit to stretch out all my achy bits.

Cheered myself up a lot today by buying a new cardi - it's bright orange. Yum!

coorong Mon 04-Mar-13 18:57:28

Official hospital letter today - op planned for the 25th march - 3 more weeks with my left breast - do I throw a going away party? - I'm really not in the mood.
I have nothing to offer on chloesterol amber - but hope it improves, and gig, your pain doesn't sound much fun - I really hope you find the way out.

I'm at the beginning of this journey and its reassuring to see fellow travellers doing well despite the, we'll despite everything really.

Sorry for lack of cheer, I thin its seeing your name in black and white next to theatre plans (and I'm not talking mama Mia)

smee Mon 04-Mar-13 20:24:22

((((hugs for coorong))). Three weeks must seem like an age. I had a wake for my breast. Big party, but after all treatment done and dusted and was to say thank you to the lovely friends who helped me through. Be as fragile and grumpy on here as you want. We all understand. sad

Saying hi to Sparkle, as I haven't yet. I was diagnosed 3 years ago this month and v.much still here. Sounds v.similar to yours. Stick around, as this place has really kept me sane(ish). smile

Ashoken, so glad you came back. Sorry you were sick, but latest chemo sounds like it's going okay, which is great. smile

I've never had my cholesterol tested, Amber. Though maybe I have and nobody's told me the results. Not good on heart being a bit older than you. How extraordinary, but am guessing Herceptin's the culprit. What fitness regime are you heading into? Can we cheer from the stands? grin

grin at Kurri's hound.

Sometimes, I read that as 'new card'. Thought you'd lost the plot for a second or two. grin

Gig, hope horse pills work. Night time pain's the worst. More so when you have little ones to wake you too am sure.

MAS, I have seen Bob the cat a fair few times, though not for ages. Was extraordinary, as he used to walk up and down the High Street with the cat curled round his shoulders. Lovely man too. smile

Have missed loads, so can't possibly keep up. Mwwahh to all though. I might be a bit more about this week, so will try to be here a bit more. smile

NedSchneebly Mon 04-Mar-13 20:56:47

Am a bit fed up tonight - have broken a crown so have to go to the dentist tomorrow instead of having lunch with the lovely pen. Boo and double boo. . .

however, cheered up a bit after phone call from choir conductor to say that I got the big solo for the choir concert in April smile Will attempt to stay away from scary rude woman from last term who also auditioned. . .

coornong 3 weeks is a long time to wait. If you feel like having party for your boob, then I think you should. I strongly believe that we do anything we feel like to get through this whole shitty process. Do whatever feels right, that is the most important thing. Oh, and hang out here. Its about as good as it gets when it comes to support smile

One of my dogs has an irritating habit of climbing into the ironing basket to snooze. Looks quite cute all curled up though. . .

Hope new pills have some positive effect gig Fingers crossed for a better night for you x x

amber have you been given some suggestions of possible exercise activities? Hope we can support you with your new regime x x x

Waves to smee hope you have a slightly more chilled out week. Take it easy, won't you? <stern>

Bath and bed for me. Lots of love to everyone x x x x x x x x x x x x x

PenPerson Mon 04-Mar-13 21:22:51

Never mind ned there will be other lunches.

My dogs do the dirty washing thing too and there is nothing like being presented with a gusset on your return home.

I am planning a hedonistic lunch out with my friends after my all clear scan. I can't wait.
I was too scared before the op to do anything coornong and felt like it was all surreal and not actually happening to me. I still have to remind myself I am officially a sick person now or I forget my pills. I did spend time before the op rubbing my neck and I had a facial with shoulder and neck massage as I knew my neck would never feel the same again. I could not stand a neck massage now.
Hope you get a better night gig. I have tennis elbow that is hugely aggravated by typing / general ipad ing.

waiting for something like an op is awful - I guess you need to do nice things to focus your mind somewhere else but i think it's a kind of pre-mourning state for what once was - if that doesn't sound too weird.
ned poor tooth -hope it is fixed quickly and painlessly and that you can reschedule lunch with pen soon. I have 2 teeth with broken bits but not very bothersome,unless something else falls off - am going to dentist soon anyway.
Waves to smee We have a blurry picture Theo took of Bob in Shelton st - was very exciting to see him.

amberlight Mon 04-Mar-13 22:35:30

they've no clue what did it re cholesterol and heart thingy - probably total burden of 8 lots of chemo and the herceptin and etc yes. Doc happy with me doing my gardening and walking, plus the gentle decline in calories. Can't do much more with fitness due to the other challenges I have. Hey ho, all part of the rich tapestry of post-bc life.

snailsontour Mon 04-Mar-13 23:05:02

Today was a big day!! Last Herceptin woop woop, I can't believe that this day has finally come - no more cannulas, and it's oh's birthday. So sitting here feeling pretty smug, and glad it's not this time last yearsmile

jchocchip Tue 05-Mar-13 07:00:14

Yay for last herceptin snails

amber walking is good for weight loss, as long as you watch your calories. Have you thought of a pedometer so you can see how active you are each day?

coorong thinking of you (())

mas I wanted to teach my cat to walk on a harness but dh thought I was mad and cat wasn't keen so didn't persevere. But we could have walked to the vets across the park rather than invoking the cat basket which he hates...
ned sad about tooth.
Should all mners get orange cardis, then we'd recognise each other!

Morning all! Time for a brew ?

I wanted to get a pedometer - i should,would make sure I walked enough ! Am sure your activities will do the trick amber
jane bet cat much prefers to walk than go in horrid cat basket.
Hooray for snails !! grin
More drawing today and posting my bartered picture to Hong kong.

the tamoxifen orange cardi -now there's an idea smile

Gigondas Tue 05-Mar-13 09:11:59

Amber- they were ravings about walking being great post cancer treatment on my course. You know that iPod minis have pedometers on so you could use one of those. Not sure if music while you exercise is your thing but it is good for that.

gringrinsmile Horse tablets worked and I had 6 hours sleep straight!!!

Coorong- wait will go quickly I hope.

Grr about teeth ned .

Working today so back later - am so smile to be pain free.

coorong Tue 05-Mar-13 09:34:28

thanks all for the kind messages - appointment today to plan the first attack on the left breast - and hear all the gory details about how they're going to shift various parts of my body about to create a new, improved version.

am keeping busy doing block B of my PGCE (secondary science) very useful for distracting me, I have a load of year x books to mark ... and my first lesson observation on the 22nd of March - only a few days before the op. Not sure when the second observation will be - I guess that depends on what they find and what sort of follow up. Hopefully I'll be able to knock it on the head in June / July>>>> probably dreaming on this front.

I saw a FERRET being walked on our local high street ..... same day I saw someone walking their pet pony???? I'm sure you won't look out of place with a cat ..

smee Tue 05-Mar-13 09:52:59

Wow, Snails that's a major cause for celebration. Hooray for you! Must be a massive relief. smile smile

And hooray for Gig's and horse pills. 6 hours must have felt weird after all the deprivation you've had. smile

Ned, well done on winning solo, though bugger about the tooth. Hope dentist is gentle and gets it fixed pronto. Lunch is far more important. grin

If you've got an iPhone or similar Amber, get the 'Moves' app - it's free. DS made me download it and it's like a pedometer. Somehow works out if you're cycling and tells you that too.

Coorong, a ferret on a lead?! That's just weird.. Glad you're keeping busy, but hope appointment today goes well too.

Hope you're keeping busy too, Sparkle. Come natter and let us distract you.

MAS, what's your bartered picture? I must have missed that somehow. confused

Better get on. Lots of work on as ever. brew on for those who want one.

amberlight Tue 05-Mar-13 09:53:27

I have a pedometer :-) But have lost it hmm so that's something to look for later grin

did I congratulate ned on her solo ?? hooray for ned if not- what a star !
smee bartered picture is exchange for an adorable needle felted Bob the streetcat made to order for my bf's birthday -it's a profile picture of the needlefelter herself with her creations.
Am glad that walking is a top cancer thing as that's about my only exercise grin

AshokanFarewell Tue 05-Mar-13 11:24:52

I did a chair workout from a Rosemary Conley DVD. I couldn't even manage to sit up straight in the chair for the whole 15 minutes but it's definitely a step in the right direction smile

After loads of hassle getting a doctors letter for HR it turns out they need a special note called a "fit note" but they hadn't told me or my line manager that until I'd sent in the wrong one hmm

amber and smee I have the Map My Fitness app. It gives you a map of where you've walked/cycled/run and your distance, speed, time etc. It's quite good for motivation as you can compare previous ones.

snails that's fantastic, well done for getting through it all! And happy birthday to your oh as well. I hope you're both having a lovely day thanks

gig brilliant news about the sleep, I hope you are feeling more refreshed!

ned brilliant about the solo, well done, I hope the other lady is gracious about it. Shame about your tooth and the lunch though! sad

coorong glad you are keeping busy and I hope the appointment goes well

I have some muffins today and I'm planning to make a beetroot chocolate cake at some point!

Spero Tue 05-Mar-13 12:25:15

Hello everyone - does anyone know anything about blue badges after a cancer diagnosis ? I have reapplied for my blue badge due to pre-existing disability but they seem t be dragging their feet about renewing it (I am one of the people who may need an assessment to qualify). I have read things which seems to suggest a cancer diagnosis is grounds to qualify. Without it I am going to find it very difficult to get to oncology department unless I get a taxi - hospital shuttle bus stop is a mile away!

hello spero I don't know, but was quite surprised to find that some of my secondary bc support group had them - it hadn't occurred to me ! I suppose I'd be reluctant to get one if eligible as that seems a bit of an acknowledgement of illness when I feel very well.

Gigondas Tue 05-Mar-13 13:09:07

It depends on area but it is grounds to apply - they will usually assess you on mobility etc (cousin with secondary's has one but re applies when you need it). I am with you on why I don't ask mas.

It sounds like it is one extra factor you can add on your application spero.

Spero Tue 05-Mar-13 13:51:12

I find I am very breathless now after walking just a short way, but I guess that will resolve itself once chemo and radiotherapy are over. I will give the council another ring and see what's happening, its just sp frustrating when I applied in January and my app seems to have just been sitting on someone's desk this whole time.

smee Tue 05-Mar-13 14:36:36

Waving hello to Spero. Glad you made it over here. smile

Ash, did you say chocolate cake?! Mmm.. smile

Gigondas Tue 05-Mar-13 14:50:04

Are you anaemic spero? I know that was why I was breathless and knackered on chemo- was horrid as felt like someone pushing on my chest.

That's horrid that has been sitting on someone's desk .

It is so lovely and sunny today smile- and I have had my first caramel egg of the yeargrin.

topsyturner Tue 05-Mar-13 14:55:43

Hi Spero
Cancer doesn't entitle you to a blue badge automatically .
If you are disabled through your cancer or the treatment for it , then it's grounds to apply .
Added to your disability you already have , you should stand a good chance .
Phone and nag !!!

Spero Tue 05-Mar-13 15:09:51

Will phone and nag, that is one of my special skills.

Not sure if I am anaemic but I find I definitely can't walk very far without needing to stop and take deep breaths. My oncologist was full of stories about people cycling into hospital for their chemo, so now feeling inadequate.

Presumably if I am otherwise feeling ok, this is nothing to worry about?

Hello, I've been hiding and dealing with a bit of a crisis. I've had a two day court hearing this Thurs / Fri booked for months that was supposed to allow me to move back home with my kids (loooong and acrimonious divorce nowhere near over, Cafcass supportive as I am 'worn down' by ex's approach). He's applied for residence, defended the divorce, has a harrassment warning etc etc. Medical care is free and good where I'm from, although possibly not as state of the art as London.

It turns out that the fact I have been diagnosed, but haven't been through the whole diagnostic process may mean they adjourn and don't make a decision. They don't have enough information to say anything concrete about my survival chances so the judge is likely to say she needs more information before deciding it's worth uprooting the kids (i.e. in case I die). Any waiting means court would happen during chemo, which is insane.

So I'm trying to work out what to do. Is it worth the stress and significant cost of going through the hearing for the small chance they take pity and let me move? Is the stress of the move even worth it, considering there might be a small delay in treatment while the other health care team repeats tests and slots me in?

I have a big supportive family there and would be living at my mom's house. Here, I have some good friends who have already offered to help but also have caring responsibilities of their own. I don't really know school run moms enough to get them to take kids. Family could visit for a reasonable amount of time but may not cover the whole spread. I do think my ex's siblings would step up and I would have to insist on zero contact with ex during treatment but I'm not even sure he would agree, or would stick to his side of the bargan.

Would I cope here without family, or with sporadic family? Would I be hurting my chances if I move?

It's such a horible question to ask and I've got such a short time to answer.

AshokanFarewell Tue 05-Mar-13 16:16:41

Sorry sparkle I have nothing helpful to say but I just wanted to say I'm sorry you're stuck in such a difficult situation. I really hope someone with better advice is along soon and that there's a way to resolve it that works for everyone. Thinking of you thanks

amberlight Tue 05-Mar-13 16:17:04

Sparkle, what a nasty situation you're in. So sad to hear of the behaviour of your ex. And I have no easy answers about any of this. Do you have a solicitor who can talk it through with you? I would personally value a supportive group of people more than anything else. But beware expectations on this. I found that a few people were useless during chemo, others were wonderful, and others that were only the vaguest friends turned out to be fantastic too. It has a strange effect on folks, and often things change. So it's even more difficult to say who you can rely on, and who will let you down. Have a brew whilst thinking. And maybe a hug.

yes,very difficult position sparkle -am sorry- I haven't anything helpful to suggest though, but like ashokan am thinking of you.

Thank you for the thought, and I'm really sorry I'm so totally me focused at the moment. It will get better, I promise.

I do value the supporting group over almost all else (unless it will, you know, do really bad things). I'm partially trying to work that out in my head. Was there any difference with family vs friends? I feel more emotionally safe with my friends, but know family will pitch in with the practical more efficiently. My relatives are very can do / get it sorted, but don't do emotion.

Part of what's so hard is that the support needs to start (like, now) so I need to set a plan in motion either way.

Thanks even for just letting me vent, it's increadibly frustrating.

Gosh, that was poorly written.

Thanks for the thoughts.

I value a supportive group above most of the other criteria (unless the other criteria make a big difference in my prognosis, essentially)

Sorry for being confusing. Can you have chemobrain before it's even started?

coorong Tue 05-Mar-13 16:33:05

Sparkle -what an awful situation.
From what is sounds are you thinking of the leaving the UK to move back to home (overseas somewhere), but you need permission to take the children with you?
I know you've just been diagnosed, but perhaps think of the future, long term. Where would you like to be, where will you be happiest and make the best recovery? If you think you'd get equivalent health outcomes, but better support with your family, then that's probably a good option.

If I were in a similar situation (my family in Australlia) I'd probably be tempted to move - but I don't know the whole story. What does your doctor say? Most doctors / nurses have seen it all, they may have some experience, words of wisdom.

Spero Tue 05-Mar-13 16:34:25

I would say move if it means you are living with your mother. I could not have coped without another adult in the house - I have a live in au pair. I am lucky with minimal side effects for chemo but I could not have shopped, cooked, cleaned and done school run on my own.

Friends have been ok but most have their own lives and own commitments. I have been told if my temp goes over. 37.5 I need to get to hospital - i don't have anyone to ask who could drop everything and be with me at 3am if the worst happened. I think another reliable adult presence is pretty much essential.

I can't see why a diagnosis will mean the court has to adjourn. Statistically you at far more likely to be alivein5 years than not. Why would a new hospital have to repeat any tests? Can't see it would impact badly on your treatment and it seems a no brainier in terms of ensuring that you have the support you are going to need over next six months or even longer.

smee Tue 05-Mar-13 18:11:28

Gosh Sparkle, that's a lot to have to confront. I'd guess all we can really do is to help you work out how you'll feel amid chemo and the rest of treatment, though even then we're all different. My son was 5 when I was going through it all and I managed to do the school run and worked too, though I work from home so that makes it easier. Thing is you won't know until you start how it hits you and you will need support. How old are your children? Sounds like they'd have to move schools if you go to your mum's, so is that a deciding factor?

Gigondas Tue 05-Mar-13 19:45:42

And don't worry about being worried about yourself - we all have times like that and it is what I love about here is we can offer help when it is our time.

Gigondas Tue 05-Mar-13 19:49:58

Did long post and lost it but was pretty much what smee says.

jchocchip Wed 06-Mar-13 01:04:43

Oh heck sparkle what a lot of decisions and some of them out of your control. If the hearing has been booked for months, it seems a shame to vacate it, but I guess your solicitor is the best placed to advise you. Guess getting permission to move doesn't commit you to the time frame of actually moving.

Its been a long day - but I have the day booked off tomorrowtoday smile

I want to be in Canada (was being a bit cagey before), and clearly thought it was the best decision before this all came up. It's basically the lack of other adult in the house thing that I'm most scared of, but there would be a lot more support overall too. I'd make new friends, the big kid would settle quickly into school.

I'm just not clear the process to get there is worth it. Can I even move once chemo starts, or in the next month in between sentinel lymph surgery and my flury of appointments? That's looking like what needs to happen.

Seems moot now. We tried doing the family mediation thing and it looked close to an agreement (to go for 2 years) until he actually had to commit to it. In fact, he wants to be able continue to argue over residence while I'm in treatment. He won't agree to no court fer at least for the next year.

He is a complete and utter wanker.

Thanks for the thoughts, by the way, and thanks for lettling me think it out.

The kids are 3&6. The fear with the court is they hear the word cancer and think the worst, especially since my Dr can't give more details about how bad it is just yet. They may not want to make a decision, and they may be concerned about uprooting the kids in case it doesn't go well and they have to come back.

Gigondas Wed 06-Mar-13 06:34:48

I doubt they would hear it and understand - there is a Macmillan book about talking to kids about cancer which might help.

I just told my then 3 year old I was poorly and needed medicine (super cal pol) that would make my hair fall out. It was much more focused around how I would be in hospital at x times, might be more tired etc . We then talked about what I might do at those times (ie she played on my bed, watched tv or read stories with me as opposed to going out to park etc).

It is probably possible though obviously undesirable to deal with this while in treatment. What would you prefer- deal with it now or later?

Spero Wed 06-Mar-13 07:32:14

Your oncologist could write a short note for court explaining statistics. Breast cancer is one of the 'best' cancers in terms of survivabiilty.

My timetable for treatment was quick - I had op within 4 weeks of diagnosis and then if you need chemo they can't wait more than 8 weeks to start I think as otherwise it is less effective. I think yo urgently need to get info from medical team about what is best for you, you may be able to have surgery here then start other therapies in Canada.

The court will decide on what is best for the children. If your ex isn't seeking residence and you have always been primary carer then it is most likely the court will decide they needs stay with you. And they will need a mum who is well supported.

I don't think fear of your death is going to be a main factor here - more the logistical difficulties of lining up treatment options but a least there is on language barrier so hopefully your UK team can communicate directly with Canada Team.

Sorry you have to deal with this as well. But as a single parent, the option of moving in with my mum would have been fantastic on every level, for the emotional and physical support you are likely to need.

jchocchip Wed 06-Mar-13 08:35:19

I know that it wasn't until after my lumpectomy that I got the detailed pathology report that could be translated into survival statistics. But chances are positive these days - when there are new treatments for mets whereas 10 years ago the outlook would have been bleak.

Has anyone got appointments today? I have one for lunch grin dh has brought me a brew in bed smile must be time to get up soon!

PenPerson Wed 06-Mar-13 09:11:01

Good morning from me. I am on day 3 of no meds and feeling pretty bad already. The world is full of treacle and my head is full of cotton wool. Is this the 'you may feel a bit tired' they spoke of.

No sunshine either today to cheer us up.

I am off for a brew and a gossip with a friend then some sofa lying upon with hooligan puppy will be required.

UserError Wed 06-Mar-13 10:05:38

I have nothing useful to add Sparkle, but I'm so sorry you have cancer to deal with on top of all the court stuff. If it helps, I had my chemo delayed in order to have fertility preservation treatment. It was delayed by a month. I think it does depend on your histology and the oncologist as to whether delays are possible, but in my experience, the medical team are always keen to help however they can and I'm sure there will be a way to get treatment AND move

UserError Wed 06-Mar-13 10:07:01

Where did my full stop go at the end of that post? . . . . . . . . . . . . There. Now there is a stock of them in case they all go missing. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .....

,,,, . ,,,,..,,.... .,,........,,,,,,,, <- stock-piled some commas too.

AshokanFarewell Wed 06-Mar-13 11:15:37

sparkle what an Atrocious Cunt (we've had a few of them on the thread!) it always amazes me how little compassion people can have for someone they once loved! It's not like you're asking to do it for fun, you have a serious illness and need support and it sounds like he would be unlikely to step up and do the school run every day so you can rest, and provide childcare while you are having treatment.

Would your ex be able to afford to visit the children in Canada? I suppose that would probably be one of the court's main concerns as he wouldn't be able to have them at weekends like a lot of people do.

Hopefully if you have to stay here, your friends will surprise you in how much support they are able to offer.

Until you know what treatment you are having, you won't know how ill you are likely to be. I'm on capecitabine tablets at the moment, they're used for breast cancer too, and I wouldn't even know I was on them really! The other drug I've been having makes me incredibly ill though.

I do think it will be a bit of a rush to move in the next month, and you probably won't be able to immediately after the surgery. You'd need to find somewhere to live, book the flights, and most importantly get the treatment all sorted out with a medical team over there. I don't know how the Canadian healthcare system works but would it be a lot more expensive now that you have a known illness?

Must dash now as I've seeing Dr W soon! I'll be thinking of you sparkle and hoping you are able to reach an agreement with your ex so that at least you know what is happening and can start making a plan.

Good luck to anyone with appointments today and thanks to Pen, hope you feel better soon! Hope everyone has a good day smile

huge hugs to sparkle and pen
And good luck with Dr W ashokan
Was going to meet friend (from Tamoxifen Ten on fb- fellow patient from hosp) for coffee in town but she was delayed by client so had to drink my enormous cappuccino on my own -the caffeine has rather gone to my head.
Have been asked to do another picture by senior BCN for my BCN who has just got a degree which is nice. My aim is to grab the hospital market for commissions (discreetly handing my cards out)

KurriKurri Wed 06-Mar-13 12:19:59

Morning all, - I am behind again, so will just dive in.

Sparkle massive hugs, cancer is enough on its own to deal with, I'm so sorry your ex is being such a shit and making life so hard for you sad

Asho - good luck seeing Dr W, hope he is slightly less arrogant today <unlikely emoticon>

Pen - sofa day very much in order by the sound of it, tiredness can hit you like a truck some days, its horrible, but you can't really fight it, just go with it and get through it xx

Spero -hello, welcome and good luck with the blue badge, it sounds as if you have a pretty good case for being given one, but the system is bizarre at best IME (have a disabled niece, she has to metaphorically jump through hoops to get anything) but my elderly mum has been told she could get one for my sister to put in her car as she ferries mum about and mum can't walk far, - so who can predict these things? Good luck anyway smile

waving and sending love to everyone, especially anyone with appointments today.

Old lady dog not very well again sad - she had a very long seizure last night, took her ages to come out of it, and when she did she was very dazed for a while afterwards. It happens so suddenly its scary, and I always think 'this time we are going to lose her' - vet has told us it is something called cardiac syncope, and is caused by her heart condition, poor old girl sad But she is fine this morning though a bit tired, she's had a bonio and a cheesy marrowbone snack so is now happily curled up in her bed.

KurriKurri Wed 06-Mar-13 12:21:47

MAS - good luck with cornering the hospital market grin you have been so busy lately, - brilliant smile

thanks kk smile Am terrified of work drying up- wouldn't know what to do with myself if it does.
Poor old lady dog - it must be very scary and awful for you.

Gigondas Wed 06-Mar-13 19:54:01

Mas I have some more commissions for you so will email.

Sparkle - i think you wanted list of famous bc survivors - well here are some:

Olivia newton john
Cynthia nixon
Sheryl crow
Sam Taylor wood
Giuliana rancic
Jennifer Saunders
Edie falco
Maggie smith
Brigitte bardot
Sheila hancock

AshokanFarewell Wed 06-Mar-13 20:47:07

Hi all,

MAS good luck with the work, you seem really talented and you certainly deserve it.

Dr W was on his best behaviour today! He's recommended no work for at least six weeks and reassess then. Bit disappointed as I miss work but I suppose it's best not to rush it and then have to stop again.

Gig that list is amazing, I had no idea most of them had had breast cancer.

KK really sorry to hear about your dog, that sounds terrifying, poor thing sad and poor you thanks

hooray gig thanks !! and thanks too ashokan - am glad Dr W was less wankery - and yes, best not to rush back into work before you should.

Gigondas Wed 06-Mar-13 21:04:00

That time will fly by ash- just try and rest up.

Kk- I am sorry old lady dog is so poorly .

Thanks for the further thoughts. We tried to have a mediated meeting about it (i.e. with my mom and his sister) which was a classic -look like I'm going to agree but then find some random new concern at the last minute that scuppers the whole deal-. Court here I come.

Just to reassure, medical care in Canada is free. It's not the US! I've already checked about transfering care and it seems reasonably simple, my oncologist is happy to make a referral, they're happy to take one. It's looking like I would start chemo here (1st, before surgery) the week of the 18th, and ideally move straight afterwards? Bah, so much to get my mind around. My mom has offered to stay back and pack so the kids and I could leave asap. I'd be at her house. Nothing to make you feel like an adult like moving back in with your mom! I've been independent since 19 and she's been living alone for about a decade, but I'm sure we'll make it work. It's looking more and more possible, depending on court of course.

He's refusing to come to Canada for visits, but we'd come here twice a year. He can afford it, just refuses. I'm afraid it would be more stressful to have him involved in school run than to make myself do it, even if I have to be in a motorised scooter or something smile His siblings might well pitch in, especially for pick up and possibly sorting out food.

He is fighting for residence as well (while working full time to my part time and planning to have them cared for by his mother), but we've had several directions hearings so far (all at his request) and they've all confirmed the fairly standard arrangements of kids living with me with alternate weekend plus one weeknight contact.

The Dr refused to write anything about survival as my tests aren't all back. Which is frustrating, but understandable

Gig - that's a great list. For some reason Brigitte Bardot makes me most impressed. She had some impressive boobs!
Kurrikurri - sorry to read about your dog,
Pen - hope the treacle gets diluted,
jchocchip - lunch appointment sounds much more fun, hope it was yummy

and thanks to all for the thoughts, hope you're all well.

jchocchip Thu 07-Mar-13 05:34:47

Oh sparkle I hope you managed some sleep. You have so many things on your mind, I'm not surprised you are up in the night.
kk sad to read old lady dog has been poorly. Hope she feels better today.
Lunch was great - good friend joined us and we went to an interesting cafe where the service was incredibly slow but food good and as we were happy to sit and chat this was ok. Then went to visit auntie in hospital - she should be discharged today as her bloods were ok and go back for further tests as out patient. Went shopping and cooked a nice meal in the evening - was so nice to spend the day with my cousin. Hot flushy last night so awake early. Back to work today and it is going to be a busy one. I do think Wednesday is a nice day to take off though, it breaks the week up into two and I feel better knowing its only 2 days till the weekend!

jchocchip Thu 07-Mar-13 05:36:14

Aargh! Three 'nices' in that post!

PenPerson Thu 07-Mar-13 08:05:20

Morning from treacle land. Someone keeps pouring more into my house and stuffing more cotton wool into my head. I feel like I have been drugged and am in slow motion. Very odd.

Today I am planning the school run and not a lot else. It is raining so I have a good excuse not to take hooligan puppy and dog out. They will have to keep me company on the sofa today.

kk hope old lady dog is ok and does not have any more nasty seizures. Sounds scary.

sparkle sounds so stressful for you. I haven't got anything helpful to say but hope you get through it as quickly as possible

mas fingers crossed for the work keeping on rolling in.

My brain is too fuddled to remember who I am let alone all the people here apologies.

KurriKurri Thu 07-Mar-13 10:06:09

Pen - sorry you are still feeling crap, - it is such a weird feeling when you get extreme fatigue. My chemo nurse told me they and the oncys were trained by having weights strapped to them, and then being put on reduced oxygen and made to perform simple everyday tasks (like walking across the room!) to give them some idea of what it feels like! It is shit, just take things very easy (you probably have no choice!) - but don't feel bad about not being able to do stuff, it is very frustrating, but I found that trying to accept, and just do what I could (sometimes nothing but lie in a heap), was less stressful and tiring than getting frustrated.

Old lady dog seems perkier today, - she slept most of yesterday, but is up and about this morning (and has in fact helped herself to a cup of tea I left on the coffee table grin)

jane - glad you had a nice day with your cousin and your friend smile

sparkle - further <hugs> - I can't add anything useful, but I hope you can get all this business sorted as soon as possible, and concentrate on your treatment and recovery.

Asho - six weeks not long in the big scheme of things smile - but I know very boring if you enjoy your work. Glad Dr W behaved himself!

waving to everyone, good luck to anyone with appointments/treatment today xx

smee Thu 07-Mar-13 10:31:15

Pen, definitely stay on the sofa. You've been doing so brilliantly, you're bound to have fug days. Giving into it is all you can do from what I remember. Maybe try and have a walk later though, as it lifts the spirits, or that's what I found at any rate. x

Good to hear Dr W wasn't his usual charming self, Ash. Six weeks will fly by. Do nice things. You deserve them. grin

Sounds like Canada's where you want to be, Sparkle. What do your legal team say? Do they think the court will say yes? Hope so, as you'll feel much more relaxed once you know where you'll be.

How's the pain Gig? Still getting lovely sleep? smile

Kurri, hooray for old lady dog. Must be scary to see her have her fits. grin at the cup of tea.

I doubt you'll ever run out of work, MAS as what you do is so wonderful, but I totally get that freelance thing of never knowing. I anxt about it too.

Jane you might do this already, bu I keep a spare pillow by my bedside, so when hot flushes wake me, I can switch and it cools your neck/ back. Though often they're so feisty I have to get up and wander round the house. So very annoying. I'm on year 3 of them now. G'ah!

Waving to all others. Lots of work here, so had better get on. smile

that walking with weights attached feels a bit familiar -am realising this though I wondered whether it might be my Emu boots.
Blood test today (coffee from Waitrose after as a reward) God I'm almost blase about them now.
Thanks for being so kind and encouraging about my work - I long for a book contract as they would pay more but importantly they are much more of a challenge and I need that grin

KurriKurri Thu 07-Mar-13 11:00:41

Hello Smee <waves wildly> grin don't work too hard.

MAS - grin at emu boots - it's more likely the chemo, don't overdo it! Will keep fingers crossed for a book contract for you, - I'm sure something will come along soon.

I get the self employed thing, - my Dad was self employed for about 40 yrs, - I always remember that feeling of always that wondering where the next contract is coming from.

DD is S/E too, - but she is picking up several bits of work recently, - she has another gig with her opera singer coming up, and a secondary school has been in touch asking if she would accompany pupils in music exams - which is good because that can be quite lucrative if there are a lot of children doing exams. Also the school choir she plays for has suddenly increased in size, - they did a big 'publicity' campaign (the children drew posters and handed them round all the other classes grin) and lots of older kids have joined, so choir is sounding good now with some stronger voices (it was originally six rather quiet little girls from yr 3 grin)

Jane - I do the pillow thing Smee suggests - and I find that heavyish feather pillows are much cooler than anything else. I used to have a big electric fan by my bed too balanced on several books and directed at my head grin

Gig - hope you managed some sleep last night, and that pain is more under control today xx

AshokanFarewell Thu 07-Mar-13 11:29:15

Morning everyone smile not such a lovely looking day today!

MAS good luck with the blood test and enjoy your coffee smile

Pen I hope a day of resting helps you feel better.

sparkle sorry for making the assumption about Canadian healthcare! I'm glad it's free, much less to worry about then. It sounds like you've got everything worked out, especially good that your mum is willing to do the packing for you if needed. I really hope the courts hurry up and say yes, it sounds like it will be perfect, especially if ex is pretty useless at mucking in with he children. That's extra stress you do not need when you are trying to get better. I had a friend at primary school who lived abroad and then her parents divorced and the children moved back to UK with their mum. Their dad moved a few times all over the world for work. They were a little bit younger than your two when they first moved but it worked out quite well I think, they visited him in the school holidays or he came to visit them.

jane good news about your aunt and glad you had such a lovely Wednesday smile I agree about Wednesdays, I worked flexitime so I would work longer hours Monday and Tuesday so I could finish early on Wednesday so I only ever worked two full days in a row!

KK glad old lady dog feels better, I hope she enjoyed her tea! grin also interesting about the nurse/doctor taking - that sounds brilliant, such a good way to help them understand how hard chemo is. MIT sign Dr W up for that!

smee that pillow idea sounds fab. I don't have hot flushes but I might try that in the summer. There's not much more refreshing than the cold side of the pillow! And the duvet, but DP has banned duvet flipping sad

I've had to stop the capecitabine tablets again today, as I've been to the loo more than ten times in 24 hours. Because of my pouch thing all the rules about diarrhoea are a bit different for me, but that's one of my rules. It's making my skin almost unbearably painful so I was thinking of stopping anyway. Managed 15 of the 28 doses this time, so eight days, but I'm quite disappointed. I obviously won't be getting the full benefit of the chemo and I really wanted to just knuckle down and get on with it. Never mind.

At my appointment last week Dr W, rather gleefully, said that if I didn't tolerate the tablets, the only other drug I can have I would need a PICC line for. I don't know whether he will adjust the tablet dose first or whether it's straight to the other drug with the PICC line. I really don't want one sad has anyone else had one?

I'm hoping to do some tidying today, we shall see. I made flapjacks yesterday but they are very dry and crumbly.

ashokan the diarrhoea thing is irksome -have only had a few spells with it on capecitabine but none since my dosage has been reduced.
Blood test was fine and dandy (I even looked !) and big coffee v lovely afterwards.

AshokanFarewell Thu 07-Mar-13 12:04:58

Hi MAS thanks, that's reassuring, hopefully just a lowered dose next time then.

I'm glad your blood test went well and that you enjoyed your coffee. Are you squeamish about needles etc? I'm oddly fascinated by it all! smile

Lonecatwithkitten Thu 07-Mar-13 12:25:59

Well I'm back as promised to report and actually need your collective wisdom and help.
Ash lovely to see you back sorry to see the drugs re causing nasty side effects.
KK sorry about your old lady is she on the magic quad Pimeobedan, Benazapril, Frusemide and Spironolactone? If you only know the trade name I can interpret, but several dogs I have had with cardiac syncope have improved on the magic quad, but it is very frightening.
Sparkle many sympathies I have an difficult ExH who I have finally got to mediation over the OW's DD bullying our DD, but everything is slow and difficult.
So I went back for the follow up appointment. Yes the biopsy says that it is fibrosis and the medicine/ science says it's fine, but he said it was so markedly different to the other breast there is a chance that we just didn't get the right bit. This chance he reckons is 2 to 3 in a 1000. He said if I would like the lump removed he will do it without hesitation, but it's up to me. He really doesn't feel it is my other conditions as he had done a literature search and could find no previously reported cases of the MCTD causing this kind of breast lump unilaterally, it does happen bilaterally.
My cool hard clinical head says lab results should always be interpreted with the clinical picture and in this case the clinical picture doesn't fit the results so I have been trained to look for more answers/ do something more.
My emotive mummy head says as currently I am the only stable thing in DD's life I should do everything in my power to protect that and if there is even the tiniest chance that this is the evilness I should have something done about it.
The business head says I should have the surgery as a small procedure with minimal time off would be much better for the business than delaying and potentially having a much bigger surgery and more time off.
The final head says I could put myself through surgery un-necessarily.
I feel that this is the old art over science of medicine debate. The science tells us one thing, but the art and gut feel is screaming another. If this was a patient of mine at a similar life stage I think I would be counselling the owners for surgery, but that the decision was theirs. I do literature searches when I feel unsettled about a case and clearly my surgeon feels unsettled.
I know only I can make this decision, but I would be grateful for your opinions and feelings on the matter. No deadline to make a decision just if I want it done phone the practice manager and she will schedule it in.

smee Thu 07-Mar-13 12:44:44

Hi Lone, that's great that it's not cancer and that the odds are it's fine, but it's tricky isn't it. Can only talk from experience and obviously v.different circs to you as I'd already had cancer, but I chose to have a preventative mastectomy. They tried to talk me out of it, as the mammogram was clear as a bell, but once I knew an op was an option I couldn't get it out of my head as it reduced my risks. With me it boiled down to two simple facts. First if I didn't do it, I'd constantly have niggling worries and second that I'd be kicking myself if cancer did crop up again when I could have avoided it. Peace of mind is worth a heck of a lot imo. Obviously that's just me though and choosing to have an op of any sort is a big decision. Hope you're allowing yourself a moment or two to celebrate, as it sounds brilliant news to me! smile

smee Thu 07-Mar-13 12:46:47

Ash, that's a sod about the tablets, but you'll be really sick if you keep having that many trips to the toilet. I haven't had a PICC line, but am sure others will be on soon who have.

Wow, MAS you looked?! That's a turnaround. Hooray for you. How are your veins holding up? Are they still good? Hope so. Coffee sounds lovely. smile

Spero Thu 07-Mar-13 13:11:48

Lonecat - I would have the op. I was home the same day as my lumpectomy and up and about almost as normal the next day.

Gigondas Thu 07-Mar-13 13:32:46

Lonecat- I also had a op on breast to remove a blocked duct and cyst and was also home that day. It sounds awfully similar to what you describe.

Ash-sorry you are poorly. I had a picc line. It was good in terms of dosage and ease of blood test etc. but mine got infected (three times hmm) so ended up in hospital faffing a lot with it. I was apparently unlucky as I think others were fine with their line (amber had one I think).

Spero Thu 07-Mar-13 14:24:28

I had a PICC line inserted in Jan. it felt quite odd the first week buti think that was more the psychological feeling of weirdness about having something permanently inserted into my arm. Since then it has been fine, no infection. A nurse comes to my house every week to clean it and re apply dressing. You can buy aplastic sleeve if you want t shower, buti have just been having shallow baths.

I was very much encouraged to have it because it does protect your veins from damage from the chemo.

Gigondas Thu 07-Mar-13 14:37:48

If anyone is interested there are a load of articles about bc in the daily telegraph this week. Haven't read them as I am of the head in sand variety about anything cancer related unless I have to know , but just thought would mention it if you do want a look.

lonecat I think I'd go with surgery - as others have said it's relatively simple and easy,out the same day with really no ill effects (scar under my arm for lymph nodes was much.,much sorergrin
Yes- I looked at the blood smee and it was fine - am very chuffed at this (ash am not afraid of needles but am dreadfully queasy about blood/words that suggest bleeding can set me off !) Veins seem fine and dandy-blood lady seems to get the same one in my right arm and it hasn't shrunk or anything.She is v good and am calm with her.

AshokanFarewell Thu 07-Mar-13 16:00:37

Ah okay MAS definitely well done for looking and being so chilled out about blood tests then smile

Thanks spero and gig for the PICC line reassurance, although sorry you had problems gig. I'm just terrified of the idea of it being all the way to my heart and being there for months on end. In hospital they were getting twitchy cos one of my cannulas had been in for nearly a week. And I'd be worried about the little caps opening up and letting air in! But I shall do whatever they tell me to smile

lone I'd definitely have the surgery, it sounds like it won't have a huge impact on your work or looking after your daughter - could she have a sleepover with family or friends while you have the op? Nearly all of your heads seem to be saying have the surgery. Plus in my experience, doctors are very reluctant to admit that they don't know something or are a bit puzzled so I would be inclined to think whatever it is is better out than in. If it's just a lump coming out presumably it won't have any side effects apart from pain afterwards and a scar? If there's any chance it could become cancerous I'd definitely say it was worth the inconvenience of surgery now rather than having cancer later smile my cancer could've been prevented if they'd found my polyps sooner and removed my colon.

smee Thu 07-Mar-13 16:24:06

Ash, I didn't have a Picc line, but the chemo drugs have wrecked my veins. I'd imagine that's why your Onc's suggesting it, so worth asking that question. You don't want wrecked veins on top of everything else.

AshokanFarewell Thu 07-Mar-13 16:34:51

Ah okay sorry to hear that smee sad thank you, I will definite ask about that! smile

Gigondas Thu 07-Mar-13 17:00:17

They check where it is with a scan. And agree with spero you do learn to live with it(you don't have the issue of small kids trying to poke it wink).

With the infection I didn't even know til Got a fever- the nurses blamed fact that I had it put in somewhere else (as usually they do it in hospital) and this place is notorious for giving infections. That is unusual tho as most people have no issue. And it is a lot less faff than a Canula once in.

Spero Thu 07-Mar-13 17:09:18

I get my dressing changed weekly and they cover it up very neatly with a dressing, I have never worried about the cap coming off - but yes, you do have to warn children off poking you!

l4k Thu 07-Mar-13 17:41:35

sorry to just jump straight in, some of you may remember me from when i had a scare (core biopsy, suspected DCIS) nearly 18 months ago now.
I have just been to my first family history clinic since then, and was not expecting anything.
I knew I had a lump/thickening from follow-ups last spring and thought it had been checked on the last mammogram in may last year.It had not been biopsied though.
Anyway, today, he feels it and is not happy.I do think it's a bit bigger but as it had been mamoed I thought it was ok. He said I need to go to the main hospital for a ultrasound scan in the next week or two, then if that doesn't look good ,a mammogram. If it does look ok he still wants me to have a mammogram but not till may(policy,1 year).
it's suprised me. I now am dreading telling my dh as his mum had BC last year and his dad died from a brain tumour the year before.

Lonecatwithkitten Thu 07-Mar-13 17:58:27

Hello l4k and thank you for just making my mind up for me. Reading your post I just realised I don't want to go through all of this again if this lump changes any way ( both my mammo and ultrasound appeared normal).
My head is definitely erring to surgery, but I thought perhaps I was making too much of this. However, my friend RL said the same as all you lovely ladies get it cut out and know once and for all. I will speak to my mum tonight and then contact the practice manager tomorrow.

jchocchip Thu 07-Mar-13 19:01:24

hi 14k I've just had my 18 month appointment - I remember you. My lump didn't really show up on the mamo but was easy to see on the ultrasound. Odds are it is nothing sinister but they are keeping a close eye on you and that is a good thing.

Hi lone My lumpectomy was not as bad as I thought it would be and healed up just fine quite quickly. I guess if you just have the lump removed and the pathology is ok, you wouldn't have to have further treatment. Would the surgery affect your other condition?

waves to everyone - I do turn the pillow over and throw the bedclothes off, but then I get cold hmm

l4k Thu 07-Mar-13 19:29:10

Hi to both of you.
Lone- I would say peace of mind is everything. Good luck with whatever you decide.
Hope you are well jchocchip, I don't think I had an ultrasound in may, I don't think I'll be happy till they biopsy this area now. But that was so bloody stressful and scary. I don't want to do it again.
My poor dh. He doesn't even know yet as he's working late.

smee Thu 07-Mar-13 20:28:28

Oh no, l4k. What a sod to have to go through all that anxt again. I reckon Jane's right and they're just keeping a very close eye on you. Hope you get your referral quickly.

Lone, good decision. Better just to do everything.

Hope you're okay Sparkle and maybe a bit further ahead with your decisions.

Waving to all. Me and DS have just been making World Book Day preparations for tomorrow, so Charlie Bucket has his golden ticket and even a bar of my Green & Blacks, with a Wonka sticker over the top. What's the betting that doesn't make it back home... grin

sandripples Thu 07-Mar-13 20:40:33

Hello to everyone - sorry I can't keep up with all the posts but wish you well with the issues on here at the moment.

KK - good news about your DD's work!

I really just want to say to ASH that I am a massive Picc-line fan! I grew to hate cannulas with a vengeance as my veins were pretty wrecked after 3 months of first chemo cocktail- nearly fainted as they were dealing with me the next time (and I never had a needle phobia before all this) so I decided to get a PICC - it was a bit of a faff getting it inserted but totally manageable (and quite funny actually as it went up my neck by mistake the first time so they had to retract slightly and then make me do odd things with my head/chin to make it go into the right place. None of this hurt. Bit uncomfortable while they put it in at first but then fine - which surprised me.

Anyway once it was in I was scared of infections etc but am glad to tell you I had no problems at all, it transformed the next 4 months while I finished chemo. So although I know some people have the bad luck to have problems, it can also work like a charm and I would have another any day rather than cannulas. I called mine Lenny and grew quite fond of it.....chemo didn't bother me after that and I could even drive myself there and back on my own.

hello 14k - so sorry you have this worry hanging over you - am sure they are just being very vigilent and keeping a close eye on you - stick around for hand holding.
smee excellent choice of WBD theme- we did Charlie Bucket one year - I made a pretend bar of the choc with a golden ticket too grin

LIZS Fri 08-Mar-13 13:10:05

hi , can I just nudge the door open a little ...

You ladies are incredible in supporting each other.

Elderly relative is having a lumpectomy next week to take out 7-10mm lump and lymph node, then probably radiotherapy, possibly tablets. How much will they remove in addition, is it usually one incision or two, and what is recovery like. Do you have any other practical tips to share please?

KurriKurri Fri 08-Mar-13 13:32:15

Hello LIZS smile - I posted on carpejugulums thread, - I managed in my usual idiot way to misread your post and thought it was you who had BC, - I'm very glad it isn't, but very sorry to hear about your relative, and of course you are very welcome on this thread.

I had a mastectomy rather than a lumpectomy, and for that the recovery time was about 3 weeks of feeling fairly sore at the wound site, and with lymph node removal there can sometimes be a bit of nerve damage, - they rummage around a lot. So it's really important to religiously do the exercises they give you in hospital - they really help a lot.

How much they remove will I think depend on what the margins are, - they will want to get a clear margin of non cancerous tissue, so that may all be a bit of an unknown factor until they actually operate.

My aunty had a lumpectomy and RT last year - she was 88 at the time, and is still going strong and making good progress, - she also had lymph node involvement. She told me the thing she found hardest was the tiredness, especially from the RT, and she struggled a bit - her sons both stayed with her for a while to help out. - Does your relative have anyone nearby to help with household chores, cooking etc? Also it is nice to have someone to go with you to RT - as often there is a bit of waiting around, and the whole hospital business can be a bit overwhelming.

Very best of luck to her smile

Lone - you have made your decision by the sound of it, and I would have ,made exactly the same choice in your position, - good luck with the op. xx

I4K - so sorry to see you back ( I mean it's lovely to see you but, wish you weren't here IYSWIM), - I'm sorry you have all this anxiety again, what an absolute bugger sad

Asho - If I'd had the offer of a picc line I'd have taken it, and if it happened again, I'd insist on one, - my veins were shot to hell and really painful (mind you I am old!!) but chemo is such a battering to your poor old arm, - and I had problems when I needed IV antibiotics while on chemo - my veins kept breaking from the damage, and they couldn't tell how much had got into me. definitely worth considering if you are offered it IMO.

SR -<waving> hope all the family are well, and DS is getting on with e njoying uni life after the GF problems.

Smee- love the sound of DS's costume - you are brave to trust him with your G and B's grin

Waving hello MAS, Jane, Gig and everyone else I've missed, hope all are well. I have a cold - the kind that means you have a constant river of snot coming out of your nose - delightful!

Gigondas Fri 08-Mar-13 14:03:32

Lizs- cant better kurri post on your aunt and I do think practical help prob best. It is all the kind of thing you might offer someone who had a c section (cooking, errands, cleaning etc).

Course today was on diet - lady cleared up a couple of points about bc and diet that I know have been raised here.

Milk and dairy is fine but organic prob better- in fact if you have calcium issues they recommend.

Soy is ok in food but not in milk or supplements - study just out says that soy foods have no effect on hormone positive breast cancer rates.

There was also some interesting stuff on selenium and vitamin d but will save that for amber when she pops in as I know she knows a lot about this.

Hugs to all- back later but trying to finish my essay by Monday -- and curse topsy for Introducing me to some silly fb game.--

topsyturner Fri 08-Mar-13 14:14:38

grin @ Gigs
It's bloody addictive isn't it ???

topsyturner Fri 08-Mar-13 14:15:24

Welcome Lizs
Will be back to post properly later , off to DDs parent/teacher meeting now ...

KurriKurri Fri 08-Mar-13 14:53:34

I need you all to tell me not to be a mad supersticious fool grin

Was sorting my undies draw and having a cull grin - lots of my bras are too small now, - I've gone up to a 38c from a 36c, so throwing out old bras. I just found two virtually brand new bras, size 38c in the back of the draw. I remember buying them when I started to suspect I had something wrong with my breast, I bought a size larger because I wondered if my bra was squashing my nipple <fool emoticon>

so they are effectively my last pre cancer purchase, and I never wore them because they aren't mastectomy. But they would fit me now, and I have the pockets to converts them. I need some new bras, but I'll be having my recon. op hopefully before long, so will be back to normal person bras.
So I should use them shouldn't I?

<whispers, but I'm scared that they are in some way associated with me being DX with BC, and its stupid and mad, but I have this nagging little voice in my head, and I can remember going into Marks and buying them and knowing that there was something wrong I should be dealing with and feeling scared>

Tell me to pull myself together and wear the stupid bras grin

KurriKurri Fri 08-Mar-13 15:01:13

Oh FGS - I just found under all the pants, a piece of paper with some mathematical calculations on it in my Dad's writing, which has made me sad.

And also a 300 yr old piece of liquorice, which has made me vom. <no idea why that was in my underwear draw, I was probably hiding it from DH grin>

oh kk - seeing your dad's writing- that must be terribly wrenching - it's little things like that which are unexpectedly tear making.
I'd wear the bras- though do understand as I have a cardi which I wore a lot during initial dx etc and can't really face it now. I also have some really nice trousers which I bought the day I got my results and thought I may as well buy them and wear them before the tamoxifen makes me fat (they were a 10 would you believe-far too plump for them now - might give them to my mum as she is a wisp)
Hospital today and saw consultant who went over the scan with me and showed me very clearly that the nodules had shrunk- the biggest ones,which looked huge in first scan definitely smaller - he said he was really pleased and that 40% of people respond well to my drugs and am obviously one of those grin So as long as it keeps working I guess I'll be on continuous chemo with a guess occasional chemo breaks.
So sorry to hear about elderly relative Lizs - kk's post is v sound advice. My aunt had a mastectomy at 86 and is full of beans at nearly 90 - she proudly says she was sitting up in bed in full make up/hair done the next day grin

KurriKurri Fri 08-Mar-13 15:32:10

Thanks MAS smile

great news about your scan - it sounds as if the drugs are doing a good job. I have another friend with mets and she does get chemo breaks every so often, so hopefully you will too (although she has bone not lung mets, so poss. different drugs)

I am always coming across little things of Dad's - its because I couldn't bear to throw away scraps of paper with his writing on them at the time, and I tended to put them out of sight in draws etc. It's sad, but also nice to see them. smile

AshokanFarewell Fri 08-Mar-13 17:22:50

Hi MAS it must have been reassuring to see the difference in size yourself, and fabulous news you're responding well to the drugs grin

KK you could try the bras on and see how you feel? I completely understand. I have a dressing gown my mum bought me for hospital. I save it for hospital visits but I will never wear it apart from there as I have too many horrible memories of struggling around the ward with my drain bag tucked under the belt and someone carrying my catheter box thingy! blush I also have a whole box full of different stoma supplies at my parents' house because I won't get rid of them yet in case I tempt fate and have to have another temporary stoma hmm

topsy hope the meeting goes well

LIZS I'm sorry to hear about your relative.

smee I hope your son enjoyed world book day. I remember the first year we did world book day at school! It was so exciting smile

Gig the course sounds really good. I only eat organic dairy now, as I read that the growth hormones in non organic dairy can encourage cancer growth - is that the same reason they gave in the course?

How did you find out about the course? I've been looking for something similar round here but haven't had much luck.

I saw the GP this morning and I asked if she knew of any support groups locally as I hadn't found any on the Internet. There are some breast cancer ones in nearby towns and a brain tumour one, but nothing more general. The local bowel cancer one seems to have closed down. She didn't know of any and we discussed how important they are so we decided I should look into starting one myself! grin it will be nice to have a project and to be able to help other people. I'm going to be busy reading all the information on the Macmillan website smile

Apologies to anyone I've missed, I hope everyone is having a lovely day smile

topsyturner Fri 08-Mar-13 18:49:28

KK I remember Gracie (who had all her chemo at home) having the room she had her chemo done in redecorated as she couldn't stand the sight of it .
So , no , you are not bonkers !
Wear the bras .
Burn the bras .
Do whatever feels right for you smile

Mas that's brilliant news !
I am so happy for you .
Keep it up please grin

Been to DDs parent teacher meeting
All is as it should be .
DD went to her teacher and asked her not to give her a main part in the class assembly they are doing at the end if this month , as "I always get good parts and I think someone else should get a chance"
She's such a sweetie !

Better than my poor friend who's son asked the teacher what her porn name was ....

PenPerson Fri 08-Mar-13 19:02:23

Fantastic news mas so pleased to hear that.

I am feeling better today than yesterday. Went for a lovely beach stroll and wore out the hounds who were going stir crazy and even giant hooligan puppy behaved himself and is now snoring away. Cuppa and chat in friends beach but was just what I needed.

2 weeks today I can resume my meds. Will try to catch up tomorrow with the thread properly.

thegreylady Fri 08-Mar-13 19:16:17

Still lurking in corners here kicking self for stupidity at odd intervals grin

l4k Fri 08-Mar-13 19:16:49

thanks for the welcome back,can't really concentrate so will be back another day.
kk- i'm sure knicker draws are secret mythical hidey- holes,I've got about 30 baby teeth wrapped in tissue (4 kids) in mine and they can get me wistful and teary at times.
Bin the bras, put the liquerice in dh's draw and put the math calcs back under your pants.wink

smee Fri 08-Mar-13 19:47:00

shock at porn name! Well done to mini-Topsy. Of course she's a total sweetie. Look at her mad mum. grin

YEAY for scan, MAS. That's brilliant news, but am guessing still hard to take in what you're going through. It's all been so quick and the idea of long term chemo must be quite something. Hope you can celebrate tonight. I will raise a toast to you! smile

Kurri, sad about dad's notes, though I'd bet he'd be amused to be found amidst piles of pants and old liquorice. smile

On the bra think, I vote for chucking if it feels weird. I didn't want mine, so DS and I made all sorts of things out of them. In fact he still has a kind of rope made out of two of them dangling an action man in his bedroom. blush

LIZs, sorry to hear about your aunt. Can't really add to what's already been put, but come back and ask anything you want.

Ash, starting your own group's a great idea. Watch out for fruit-loops though...

Gig, your talk sounds mighty interesting. I've started taking high dose vitamin D3 relatively recently and genuinely think it's made a difference. How much did they say you should take??

Need wine, but really must work for an hour or so more. Have a Monday deadline and am nowhere near reaching it atm. Ho hum.. Wishing everyone a wondrous weekend. smile

smee Fri 08-Mar-13 19:48:18

Waving at GreyLady. You're amidst fellow worriers here. grin

Pen, x-posted with you too. Glad you're feeling a bit better. smile

thegreylady Fri 08-Mar-13 20:12:54

great news about your scan MAS-continuous chem sounds grim but not as grim as the alternative thanks

waving too to greylady smile
smee am imagining the bra contraptions - I love your boy grin
Have had several glasses of wine with parents so feeling quite jolly. Poor T is feeling poorly though, looks like another horrid cold.

smee Fri 08-Mar-13 20:54:05

B'ah on T's cold, MAS. Glad you've had wine. I have sent a photo of DS's bedroom to amuse you. No bra in picture, but other mad stuff! Can you tell I'm supposed to be working? grin

topsyturner Fri 08-Mar-13 21:45:11

What's up Grey ?

yes, are you ok greylady ?
smee love the picture grin- Heath Robinson boy.
Poor T is in his bed,all shivery.

UserError Fri 08-Mar-13 23:07:25

Evening all! bounces in

Good news about your scan, MAS! I know a lady who is on continuous chemo for a non-cancer illness and she has coped quite well. thanks

I'm sure there was lots more I wanted to say but DP is next to me on the sofa, MOUTHBREATHING and the irritation I feel at that noise has driven everything from my head. So... I hope everyone is ok?

I got my blood test results this week. The GP receptionist told me everything came back as 'normal', which is actually not what I wanted to hear because it means the fatigue I get is not easily fixable. I was hoping for anaemia, pop a few iron tablets and away it goes! No such luck. angry I finished my radiotherapy last May and I'm still destroyed by it, energy-wise. I have a few friends with M.E. and the fatigue I get is very similar to theirs.

I'm getting better at remembering to take my tamoxifen. My new pill box arrived today, it's beautiful. A 7-day one, 3 compartments a day, inside a clear box and the 'days' are all in rainbow colours. I've put star stickers over the top and it looks amazing.

jchocchip Sat 09-Mar-13 07:05:32

Hi to lizs. Sorry to hear about your elderly relative. The lumpectomy should be straightforward if they get clear margins. I'd second the thought that it wasn't the op but the radiotherapy that was tiring with all the travelling. At my centre you can book yourself an overnight to have a day off the travel. Of course it depends how far it is as to how much of an issue it is.

Morning all!
Cat is scratching at the bedroom door so guess I will get up now. Will put a brew on smile

jchocchip Sat 09-Mar-13 07:08:05

User your pill box sounds a good idea. Don't think I need one for ond pill a day but may put a reminder in my phone, forgot to take yesterday...

Ledkr Sat 09-Mar-13 07:23:58

Morning everyone. This thread fell off my actives so thought I'd check in. Remember my new lump on my rib area? Well I'm seeing the breast clinic on Wednesday so hope to get my mind put at rest. Gp wasn't worried but ill still be happier when it's checked.
Went for a thyroid scan on Thursday. The letter said ultrasound but it turned out it was an isotopes!! Meant I was there hours couldn't go back to work or be too close to my own kids for 24hrs. There was a mistake with the letter but it really annoyed me.
It was weird lying still under the machine though, memories of radio therapy came flooding back.
Hope you all have worry free weekends.

Gigondas Sat 09-Mar-13 07:33:08

I am not surprised you were annoyed- slight difference in what you went for ledkr. Hope you get lump sorted- doubt Gp would be so blasé if had concerns .

Mas- yay for good scan!

Pen- sorry you are feeling rough.

Smee- hope you got your work done. Will dig out dosage info from my notes.

Grey- sorry you are feeling low.

brew For those that want it.

grr ledkr that is annoying. Lots of good luck with breast clinic x
usererror new pillbox sounds great - sorry that fatigue is troublesome.

digerd Sat 09-Mar-13 15:50:08

In 1970 < yep I'm an oldie>, I had an Isotope with a radio active iodine injection beforehand. This enormous thing moved backwards and forwards over my Thyroid. Didn't know they still used it. I still have a photo in my mind of it.


PenPerson Sat 09-Mar-13 20:25:14

Just dropping in to say I am really struggling with feeling so so grumpy tired and irritable. More like raging, I am usually a placid sort and I feel sorry for my family. I just want to hibernate.
If you see me out in public do not approach me.

Ledkr Sat 09-Mar-13 20:42:13

pen do you know why? I'm not sure what stage of the cancer crap you are at.

PenPerson Sat 09-Mar-13 20:47:30

It is because I have been put in a sudden very hypothyroid state to prepare for my treatment, I was on a short acting thyroid med which is not nice to suddenly stop I feel terrible. The tiredness is manageable but the bad mood and depression is really hard. 2 more weeks to go. The isolation period in hospital for radiation treatment is looking very inviting now.

PenPerson Sat 09-Mar-13 20:48:25

So rationally I know my moods are artificial but it s still getting to me.

Gigondas Sat 09-Mar-13 20:53:07

Pen that is shit- do you start to even out a bit as you get used to no meds or just more of The same?

Must be horrid- only experience of anything like that is pregnancy mood swing but not same really (except that feeling that its a physical rather than real issue).

PenPerson Sat 09-Mar-13 20:57:08

I don't know. I felt bad then ok for a day and a half now I feel terrible again but the mood is worse. It came on this afternoon.
Dh is taking the children out in the van for lunch / walk tomorrow and I may just stay in bed. I am being really horrible and can't stop it then I want to cry. Not like me at all. Paranoia making a huge appearance too.

Ledkr Sat 09-Mar-13 20:58:57

Aw pen how shite. I can sympathise as I'm suffering from hyper parathyroid ism at the moment. Depression mood swings bone aches and extreme tiredness ago go. I've felt a lot better since I started St. John's wort and high strength vit d. Can you try that?
The isolation thing sounds fairly daunting. When does that start?

Gigondas Sat 09-Mar-13 21:06:59

Trite but keep a food diary Logging when you feel most angry , paranoid etc. it may help a bit if you can moderate when and what you eat- more protein , less carbs and little and often. I was on point of taking anti depressants but found food made a big difference. Sadly sugar and coffee were big mood dampeners.

What are you going to do in your isolation period? And have you got some nice new pyjamas or something bought so you can be comfy. When I had to do inpatient chemo,I got new pyjamas , books and stuff to watch to pass the time.

PenPerson Sat 09-Mar-13 21:08:08

I go into hospital on 18th to the lead lined room for 2-3 nights then have to stay away from people for another few days. No meds for 2 more weeks and a low iodine diet so I can't eat junk to cheer myself up. An apple does not cut it.

Gigondas Sat 09-Mar-13 21:10:37

I have a good recipe for tea loaf that you can make with dried fruit and nut of your choice- can you have eggs and butter ?

PenPerson Sat 09-Mar-13 21:11:40

I am not having caffeine or any processed or pre prepared food so think it is purely the sudden lack of thyroid hormones sadly.

Thanks for the support ladies. It really helps.

PenPerson Sat 09-Mar-13 21:14:15

No eggs and minimal dairy. I am eating a lot of porridge as bread often has iodised salt and dough improver. Green and blacks dark chocolate is a feature of my life.
I can eat meat, veg, fruit, pasta anything with no salt.

Gigondas Sat 09-Mar-13 21:14:48

There is a good nigella chocolate cake with olive oil .

PenPerson Sat 09-Mar-13 21:20:02

I will have a look. Porridge with a couple of squares of dark chocolate is delicious.
Waitrose can't tell me if their bread or mayo has iodine. I am sitting on my hands so as not to send ranty emails.
I have salt free peanut butter and can add non iodised salt to stuff. Matzos are ok. It is not too bad but the combination of terrible mood and no ice cream is not good.

Gigondas Sat 09-Mar-13 21:21:55

Go into aibu or relationships -pick one of the more get a grip type posts and rant away.

PenPerson Sat 09-Mar-13 21:24:24

I am having to stop myself believe me ! I am not even looking at the 'I have flu poor me' ones. I am not to be trusted. Cancer Tourette's at a maximum.

Gigondas Sat 09-Mar-13 21:25:43

grin At cancer Tourette's - i get that. There is a gem in aibu about someone who is sulking about her bil coming to dinner and how she wanted to have roast beef and now they are having to have roast chicken...

jchocchip Sat 09-Mar-13 21:26:13

I've made cake with no eggs 'cos my ex-sil was vegan for a while. Think I added baking powder and an extra splash of milk - aargh that's dairy. My parsnip cake is good, very moist - you could leave the eggs out of that so basically marge - substitute with a bit of oil, sugar, flour, whatever dried fruit hanging around in cupboard cinnamon, mixed spice and a ripe banana - sprinkled with demerara sugar and baked until done. One version had the boozy currants from my sloe gin currant vodka in it... Fraid I'm from the try it and see what happens school of cookery smile but parsnips are great in cake - bit like carrots...

jchocchip Sat 09-Mar-13 21:29:33

xpost. gosh its a bummer that! Fancy having to have roast chicken!

PenPerson Sat 09-Mar-13 21:34:16

That sounds lovely choc . Tofu is out too so I can't whip up a vegan cheesecake.
The actual food is ok but the fact I have to prepare and plan anything that is not fruit / veg / matzo s whilst feeling wooly headed, fatigued and murderous is a bummer.

PenPerson Sat 09-Mar-13 21:35:52

I roasted a chicken that lasted me a few days bit all mayo has salt in that may or may not be iodised AAAAAARRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHH

Sorry I will shut up now and make my own dressing.

jchocchip Sat 09-Mar-13 21:41:57

I thought all mayo had eggs in.... But look on the bright side some of us chocolate addicts gave up chocolate for lent...!

jchocchip Sat 09-Mar-13 21:43:57

you could make your own peanut butter cups with green and blacks and no salt pb in silicon cup cake cases.... Heck how am I going to last until Easter? I could live on pb cups...

PenPerson Sat 09-Mar-13 21:47:15

I can have up to 1 egg OR half a pint of milk a day. It is hard to keep a mental note of what I have had so I am allowing myself a little bit of milk on my porridge and no more egg/ dairy. Due to the unknown salt in shop bought mayo I am not having it at all. My home made garlic dressing is nice though.

coorong Sat 09-Mar-13 21:48:16

Hey pen, sorry you're not having much fun. You could try Jewish websites for recipes. During Passover you can't eat bread so there are quite a few matzo suggestions. Can you exercise at all? I get severe but sporadic bouts of depression and find that if I walk and walk and walk it sort of releases some of the tension. That and lying in bed staring at the sky and watching clouds (or looking at some of the really loopy threads on mumsnet).

PenPerson Sat 09-Mar-13 21:49:07

I made a lovely peanut butter thing with maple syrup, coconut oil and dark chocolate. Yummy but as the hypothyroid state means weight gain I am trying not to scoff too much nice stuff !

PenPerson Sat 09-Mar-13 21:55:38
jchocchip Sat 09-Mar-13 22:04:57

I am so going to have to make those after Easter grin

mmm, yum- I once made Nigella's peanut butter cups which were very unhealthy,particularly as am the only one in the family who likes them...

topsyturner Sun 10-Mar-13 13:13:03

Happy Mother's Day everyone
Hope you are all being treated like the goddesses that you are x

PenPerson Sun 10-Mar-13 14:02:21

Happy Mother's Day all.

We went for a walk this morning and now the giant puppy has turned from white to mud coloured. Picture on FB !

I feel better today but am waiting for the swing of mood. Off to waitrose to see if that hold off the bad mood but the lack of free coffee on our local one makes me cross.....

Thanks for the support last night ladies.

What are you all up to for Mother's Day ?

Gigondas Sun 10-Mar-13 14:17:40

Glad you had ok morning and happy Mother's Day all.

I am meant to be finishing my essay (not quite half done) but curse you topsy for that game wink.

KurriKurri Sun 10-Mar-13 14:50:57

Happy Mother's Day one and all smile

Hope everyone is doing well today and having a relaxing time.

DS came over to Norwich yesterday and took me out for a cappuchino and a scone, DH has got me a DVD of Jane Eyre, and DD has given me a bowl of Hyacinths - so I've done really well - terribly chuffed.

Old lady dog had very big seizure last night - it was quite distressing sad - she seems to have recovered today, - it is very stressful, I don't know what to do, she is well when she isn't having the fits.

This morning I thought she was going to have another one, so I leapt out of bed, slipped and crash landed on my bottom (fortunately I have inbuilt padding), dog looked at me as if I was mad, and wandered off to look for her breakfast hmm

pen - massive hugs, the diet sounds tough, - well the whole business is tough, - will be thinking of you. Are you stocked up with things to keep you occupied while you are in isolations? - I had the RI drink, and had to keep out of the way of family for about a week (obviously not as tough as your treatment) but it was hard, - my Dad had just died a couple of weeks previously, and I really needed to be able to be with my family. Can you have whatever you like to eat once the treatment has been given? - if so stock up on treats and good books and DVD's, to make the time go quicker xx

Gig - what is the essay on? - have you nearly finished it? - I always found sticking to the word limit hard in OU essays, - I am a bit of a waffler (!) and used to spend more time editing afterwards than it took to write the thing.

topsy - are you watching Shetland tonight? - I've read the books, and think they might have messed about with the story quite a lot, but I shall give it a go anyway.

Hope T is feeling better today MAS.

We have snow here again <sigh> where is spring? and why has it missed Norfolk?

Love to all xx

topsyturner Sun 10-Mar-13 15:06:19

Shetland starts tonight ???
Thanks for the timely reminder KK

Sorry Gigs
-- not really , send me more lives--

Gigondas Sun 10-Mar-13 15:50:00

Yes kurri - word limit tricky and the referencing convention taking me more time than actual essay!

Back to work grin

poor old lady dog - send her a hug from me. Hope bottom isn't bruised.
Lovely mother's day things too from your dcs kk
Is essay finished gig ?
Would it be an idea for me to bother gp with my finger,which is v painful at top joint (and swollen -like a lump ) am sure it's arthritis - would he just say take paracetamol or something. Don't suppose there's much to be done.
T much better - phew.

topsyturner Sun 10-Mar-13 19:36:53

You'd be better off with some ibuprofen Mas , it contains anti inflammatories .
(Unless you're asthmatic , then you shouldn't take them)

How's Old Lady Dog tonight ?
Is she still laughing at your sore bottom kk ?

you're right topsy - I think that's best idea.

Gigondas Sun 10-Mar-13 20:13:01

Agree with topsy mas.

Essay done so just bibliography to do.

<waves madly at everyone>

I keep logging on reading all your posts and forgetting who said what and not wanting to get it wrong slope off again for another day and spending stupid hours playing topsys game grin.

Trying desperately to remember things - mas super news about your scan but sorry T is feeling poorly. Hopefully he won't share it with you.

gigs hope the shoulder is easing and the new meds are doing what they need to.

smee topsy is correct I did redecorate as I just couldn't bear to be in my favourite room as it smelt (to me) of chemo. I also have a lovely top which I bought and then wore to my dad's funeral and didn't wear it again until 5 weeks later when I was dx. It really is lovely but hangs in my wardrobe as I associate it with sad times.

Poor little lady dog kurri.

Waving hi to everyone.

l4k Mon 11-Mar-13 09:38:13

I am reading but my brain is not retaining any info at the mo, sorry blush.
I think lack of sleep is adding to the worry and the result is emotional and stupid too.
I have just rung the breast clinic to ask if the scan appointment has been made, they said not and will chase up for me.
Since this is the lump that I went to docs about 18 months ago and they didn't biopsy it (only biopsied the calcifications), if it is cancer it has been there a long time. The consultant on thurs gave me no reassurance, not smiling as usual.He didn't answer when I said I'm going to worry now. I know him well from these family history checks and he has never been like this. I said "well, it must be ok because they've already looked at it on mammogram" and he did't answer me.
I really want this lump biopsied, they will do that won't they? if they don't I don't know what I'll do.
I cried quite a lot yesterday, ds1 (17) got me flowers but most important wrote the card himself thanking me for all I do which started me off. Dd1 (15)was vile all day, didn't wish me happy mother's day and didn't even smile at me.I eventually told her I was hurt and dissapointed and she didn't seem to get it. I ended up crying like a little brat. Now I just feel foolish but she hurt my feelings.
I'm actually going crazy. I've read lobular cancer can be missed on mammo. Did anyone have lobular? could you tell me how it was picked up please?

I'm sorry this post is ridiculous but I can't seem to help it.

Hope everyone had a good mother's day.

Sorry to have disappeared, it's been a bit of a crazy week!

Court said I can move, through in the divorce he was defending, and did it all in one day! I'm so glad I went for it, although feeling very intimidated about actually sorting out the move. Not only shifting the physical stuff, but resettling the girls, leaving friends, getting to know a new medical team...

So just to say, it's good news but also lots of work.

Hope you all are well, thank again and always for the good thoughts.

Great news sparkle. One step along the road.

14k sorry I think I missed your original post but sorry to see you back here again. I would imagine they will do a biopsy, if not I would be pushing for one to be honest. Hopefully your scan appointment will come thro6.ugh quickly. I sympathise re: teenagers. My soon to be 16 year old has been a right wee sod teenager recently and I have spent quite a few days in tears so your post isn't ridiculous but I think when we are already stressed thoughtless teens can send us over the edge.

Morning to everyone - glorious day here today for a change. Off to sort out DS desk so I may be gone some time grin. Been up since 6.45 as he has french oral today and as per usual has left it to the last minute.

hooray sparkle !! that sounds very positive,though obviously much work to do.
14k a huge hug for you - it all sounds very distressing for you, no wonder you feel tearful.
Waves to gracie - am off into the snow shortly.

KurriKurri Mon 11-Mar-13 15:13:04

Sparkle - that is good news, a definite positive step. although obviously a big upheaval, but you need to feel happy and settled in your life smile

gracie - great to see you my lovely, - that topsy and her game has a lot to answer for grin Like you I have a dress I wore to my Dad's funeral that I will never wear again - it is sitting in my wardrobe (in a bag at the back, can't bear to have it hanging up where I can see it all the time) - I must give it to a charity shop or something, I've no idea why I'm hanging on to it.

l4k - I think you need to absolutely insist on a biopsy, can anyone go with you to your appointment to act as advocate for you, or failing that ring your BCN tell her what is going on and ask if she could be with you for the appointment. I think they probably will do one anyway, but just in case, I would arm myself with support.
I'm sorry you are feeling emotional, - its not surprising given what you are going through ATM, all I can offer is massive virtual hugs, brew and thanks xx

Old lady dog collapsed again last night sad - my poor little old girl, I don't think I will have her for much longer.

love to all, hope essay is finished Gig and T is feeling better MAS.
Blowing a blizzard here, and the windscreen wiper on our car has conveniently broken!

smee Mon 11-Mar-13 15:59:51

Yes, well done Sparkle. At least now you can plan. smile

l4k, I'd guess they'd do a biopsy too, but Kurri's idea about calling the BCN is a good one. Don't ever apologise on here. It's what we're for. (((hugs from me))) xx

kurri, that's sad about old lady dog. Must be awful to see her like that.

Gracie, hope DS got through his oral. Nice to see you again. smile

MAS, how are your fingers? Did the ibuprofen help? If it is arthritis, I'd guess the lovely weather we're having isn't helping. hmm

Gig, did you your essay in? I just about hit my deadline. Was up working until past midnight last night. Feeling a bit wiped out now.

Waving to all. We finally bought a new toasty duvet and it's made me so happy. smee clearly needs to get a life grin

have wasted today doing nothing much in particular apart from laundry.
Ds better and went to school, back to normal grumpiness.
Poor,poor old lady dog kk - heartbreaking when they get old and unwell.
smee you must be exhausted - hope you have restoring treats.
Finger feels ok today- the pain comes and goes- hands feeling quite dried out and prickly. It's soo
o cold out- haven't been to town and walking S home was cut short by her mum coming home early and meeting us about a quarter of the way home, so I feel I haven't really walked enough grin Was nice to get into toasty warm car though. Am going to do some work now...

snailsontour Mon 11-Mar-13 17:06:39

Oh dear 14k, I feel your pain, it's a horrible place to be the land of fear and uncertainty. You are right, lobular can be difficult to pick up as it doesn't always show up easily on either a mammogram nor ultrasound.
I have a friend with lobular, and it was only because she was convinced there was a problem that they eventually found it.
Lobular shows up best on a MRI.
Hope you've made contact with your Bcn - that's what they are there for. Hugs..

jchocchip Mon 11-Mar-13 17:30:27

Oh well done sparkle Hope the move goes smoothly.

14k it is natural to worry, especially if you can feel a lump. I second talking to a bcn and telling her that you would like a biopsy for an answer about this lump.

waves to gracie always nice to see you.

Sorry to hear about old lady dog kk

smee you obviously haven't had enough sleep. Get under that duvet grin

Freezing here too, mas dh gave me a lift most of the way to work and I rushed and was under-dressed for the snow. brrr

topsyturner Mon 11-Mar-13 18:35:00

That's great news Sparkle
Hope the transition goes smoothly

14k I am reaching out to hold your hand x

How's Old Lady Dog this evening kk ?

amberlight Mon 11-Mar-13 20:45:50

Leaving out brew and wine for those who are eek about things at the mo. Reading through. Just a bit quiet.

l4k Mon 11-Mar-13 21:16:42

Thank you all. I'll keep you updated. Feeling a little calmer now. Thanks again.

Brrr.. sending warm thoughts to everyone here on this blistery cold day.

KurriKurri Tue 12-Mar-13 09:53:35

l4k - glad you are feeling a bit calmer today, - also extending hand holding and hugs xx

topsy - Old lady dog had a better day yesterday, no seizure and more like her usual self. She has had some left over porridge and a bonio this morning. She is wearing her purple stripy polo neck sweater as it is cold today smile

Bloody cold here too, and the toilet is blocked <stares hard at DH hmm>

love and warmth to all

PenPerson Tue 12-Mar-13 10:04:07

I want purple stripy jumpers for my dogs. Did you make it ?

I am feeling worse as the days go on. Muscle aches now on short walks so I don't think I will be walking the school run again. I am puffy too and generally feel rubbish so I will try not inflict my woes on you for the rest of the week.

Going in on 18 th for my stretch in solitary so will be around a lot then I expect.

Missing lunch with ned and looking forward to being better so we can go for a lovely iodine full energy filled one !

KurriKurri Tue 12-Mar-13 10:18:17

pen - I bought it in a pet store sale years ago, - she has a red one too - I don't know if you can still get them, every time I look in pet shops now, it seems to be 'glamour wear' for dogs, but mine actually needs something to keep her warm. She loves wearing it <reluctant to have it taken off grin>

Sorry you are feeling rubbish, I sympathise enormously, anything going awry with your thyroid makes you feel so awful. Feel free to come on an moan if it helps.

And yes - a lovely iodiney lunch with Ned to reward yourself after you had the treatment is a great thing to look forward to smile

Heard at the weekend that one of my friends has had her first grandchild - a little girl, she was so chuffed - she had BC two years ago, and has struggled with lymphodeama and other stuff, - so it has been a real boost for her to look forward to this baby smile I looked in the shops for a gift yesterday - very hard to find something for a baby girl that doesn't have 'daddy's little princess' and similar crap emblazoned on the front. I bought a little blue flowery dress <logo free after much searching> in the end.

smee Tue 12-Mar-13 11:16:33

That's sweet about your friend, Kurri. Know what you mean about kids' clothes though. Very hard to find something logo free. And hooray for old lady dog in her jumper. Glad to hear she's feeling better. smile

Pen, you're more than allowed to feel rubbish. Don't feel you can't moan as you can. Have you lots of treats laid in for your isolation?

l4k, hope you're still feeling okay-ish today.

Blimey it's cold out there. Biting wind. Am having a do-all-the-things-you-never-get-round-to day. So far have ticked just one thing off my list.. grin

topsyturner Tue 12-Mar-13 11:30:16

Think we need a pic of Old Lady Dog in her purple stripey jumper !
All old ladies should wear purple grin
Pig/dog will only wear a scarf , refuses all attempts to put him in a coat or a jumper or fairy wings

topsyturner Tue 12-Mar-13 11:31:45

Got huuuuuuge bag of turf last night
Going to make heap big fire this afternoon to try and combat this awful cold weather .

Feeling a bit shitty today .
Dunno why .
Just general shittyness .

KurriKurri Tue 12-Mar-13 11:43:18

Mind shitty or body shitty topsy? this bloody weather is getting me down -I want spring, and I want it now. Hugs anyway, hope you feel better soon, - big warm fire sounds like a good idea. OLD would look cute in a bandana, but she doesn't like them and tries to scratch them off pretends not to be a mad old lady who likes dressing dogs as people

Will try to get a photo of OLD later - when DH comes home, I daren't touch his camera while he's out, he likes to huddle over it in a corner muttering 'my precioussss' grin

waving to Smee smile also having a bit of a sort out day today - have just found a diary from 2004 in my desk <bin it now KK you mad hoarder> I am trying to find some art books which I've obviously squirrelled away somewhere bonkers - or maybe even given them away, - apparently I gave away quite a few things when I was having chemo, and have now totally forgotten about it, it was a sort of bizarre cancer generosity, now I'm back to my usual miserly self grin

Think friends DD (baby's mum) is needing quite a lot of help atm. She was induced, spent 2 days in labour getting nowhere then they finally decided to give her a section hmm so she's pretty exhausted by the whole thing. Friend is helping by cuddling new baby a lot grin

hooray for new baby kk smile and old lady dog's cosy jumper !
Sorry to hear that you are feeling rubbishy topsy - what's up do you think ?
pen too sad
Am frozen here..brrr.

Spero Tue 12-Mar-13 12:39:13

I have just been told that today's chemo will be delayed by a week because my neutrophil (??) count is too low - 0.7 instead of 1 or over. Is this common? A week seems like a long time. The nurse said it is quite usual but that is not the impression I got from internet trawling... this is annoying as I feel fine and just want to get it over with.

Sympathies go out to anyone else fed up with the cold. I am under duvet with electric heater on and a cat so I am dealing with it quite well at the moment.

KurriKurri Tue 12-Mar-13 12:59:32

Spero - it is very common, - I think it has happened to quite a few of us on here, and you really don't want to be having it if your neutrophils are low as you could end up in hospital with neutropenia. <very low down on the fun scale>

So postponement is a necessary evil I'm afraid - but sympathies, it is extremely frustrating and annoying when you are all geared up for your next cycle.

Duvet and cat solution to the cold sounds like an excellent one grin

Spero Tue 12-Mar-13 13:06:51

Reassured to hear it is common - they went ahead when I was .94 but I can see that .7 is low. The alternative does sound worse so I will enjoy my duvet and stop moaning.

UserError Tue 12-Mar-13 13:10:21

Spero, it is ridiculously common. I never had low neutrophiles but I had chemo postponed for all sorts of silly reasons (usually 'Oh dear, you coughed once. You must be ill, we'll talk to the doctor and see what she says').

I remember one memorable day stuck in the chemo unit when one drug had been incorrectly refrigerated and had crystallised, so the nurses sent out for another batch. The cytotoxic pharmacy was in a different hospital so we had to wait ages for it to be taxied over - and then the taxi got into a minor car accident, so they had to get another taxi to pick up the drugs! Fun and games.

I don't know if you remember, but further up the thread I was talking about having to go for basic blood tests to see if there was an explanation for my fatigue, other than 'cancer-related fatigue'. All the blood tests came back normal. I was actually gutted, I was hoping for anaemia or something so I could pop an iron tablet or two and make it all go away. No such luck.