Mumsnet Talk

step this way dear ones...the trolley will be here in a sec...

Thanks I don't want to lose the thread again.

Anyone? Pen - holding your hand as expect you are feeling a bit nervous.

Found you !

Much hand holding Pen , hope all goes smoothly for you .
If you are still feeling horrible when you get there , ask for a Pre med .

I'm still in bed . Have decided its too cold to get up ...

Just going to work. Icy here. All the best for today, pen
Good call topsy

Thanks can't stop crying . Off for a dog walk in a minute that will take my mind off it.

I have not packed yet but assume I don't need much until tonight / tomorrow morning. Dh is going to bring my bag down later.

((((pen)))) deep breaths. You'll feel so relieved when you wake. xx

Slumps down on cushions frustrated. DS is ill with mild stomach bug so whole week's upside down now. How's everyone else doing? I have on the go for those who want some.

Accidentally posted on the last thread so will c and p

Rushing on quickly to wish Pen loads of luck and good vibes for the op today, tell them you are very nervous my love - they will give you something to calm you down. xx

Off to catch up on your posts - have been out scraping away six inches of snow so I can put food down for the birds!

<puts meal worms and suet on the trolley>

Hooray for HND - brilliant news Hope she is home and well on the road to recovery v. soon.

Well done invicta

Lots of snow here, but for the first time ever they seem to have been ready for it and roads are well gritted, so no real problems.

DD is playing the accompaniment for a professional opera singer at a do on Sat. - and getting v-well paid for it. She went over to his bloody enormous mansion house to rehearse last night, he is v . nice and has 3 mad dogs and she loves dogs - so hopefully she'll get more work if he does other gigs.

She's also playing church organ on Sunday - so I have to walk to the church with her later in the week so she can practice on the organ (she claims it is spooky in there on your own!)

I'm really pleased she's picking up quite a lot of work at the moment (various other choirs etc also on the go and some teaching)

Have just realised I have book club on thursday - so have to read Howard's End by then, - have so far managed about 50 pages and it is D.U.L.L - someone tell me it gets better please.

Hope little Smee is better soon, and you don't catch his bug Smee.

Love and warmth to all xx

well done to dd kk -she is obviously much in demand. I used to collect T from junior choir thing which was held in a school next to old church and used to walk through the graveyard in the dark -the organist used to practice in the dark church so it was always rather spooky hearing these sounds coming out !
Poor ds smee - hope he feels better soon.

<takes meal worms off trolley and puts hot buttered crumpets on, whilst looking sternly at Kurri>

Kurri, 'Howard's End' kind of seeps into you from memory. All I ever remember from studying it is 'only connect', because that was the key to crit. Good about DD and all that work. Most impressive.

Hope Pen's okay. Horrible not to be in first thing. Makes it far worse all that waiting.

DS is fine, MAS. I had to fetch him at lunchtime yesterday as he had tummy ache, but no other symptoms, so I don't think it's Noro. He has no temp and is still eating so he's having a fine old time. I would have sent him in if he hadn't been sent home yesterday. Am sure he'll be back tomorrow.

I've only ever seen Howard's End (nearly wrote Howard's way) on film, and then never all the way through, just chunks of it whenever it's repeated (which is/.was often)
Glad ds isn't too bad then

Found you all

Hope DS is enjoying his day off today smee. Good day for staying at home imo as it is very cold.

kurri well done to DD. It sounds like she is much in demand.

Thinking of you today pen hope you have a speedy recovery.

Just back from walking the dog and really need to do some cleaning but can't be bothered having a coffee first.

I like the Howard's end film- one of my faves and best thing Helena Bonham carter in. Not sure my knowledge of film will help.

Smee hope ds feels better soon. Am wondering how long til big gig gets something.

All this talk of crumpets may have to buy some.

Howard's End is improving as i progress - I do like Forster normally - but it's a long time since I read any - maybe I need to get back into his 'voice'. Small piece of trivia - one of my school friends was in Howard's End - one of the smaller parts (she was also in East Enders for a while ages ago).

gracie - you are doing well to get your dog out - mine looks out the door and digs her feet into the doormat - I've just carried her into the garden for a wee, and then DD had to dry her with a towel when we came back in, - she's now sitting on the sofa wearing a woolly jumper (the dog not DD, - she's wearing an old dressing gown )

Its really started coming down heavily again here all my bird food has been covered over. - I might not be able to get to book club at this rate - although I'd like to as we are all going to the pub for A NY lunch.

There's been quite a few nasty viruses ging round in this region - we've escaped so far, but a few friends have had lurgies. Hope DS feels better soon Smee - hopefully no Noro if he hasn't been sick.

MAS - I keep calling it Howard;s Way too - I blame Gig

Someone say crumpets ???
<emerges from blankie/sofa cocoon briefly , growls at meal worms>

Still no snow here <sad face>
HND had the last of her drains removed this morning . No news on when she's getting out yet .
May have to bake cake with file in

"Discuss the character of ken. Is his love for jan Howard genuine?"

"Why does jack never get any help for his drinking problem?"

"What attracts women to millionaire Edward frere?"

Poor hnd- I well remember the break for the border feeling.

Have just scoffed three crumpets.
And kurri that's great about dd.

at Howards Way exam. Are there pass notes, Gig?

DS has just trashed me at Monopoly. Definitely sending him to school tomorrow.

Really really want crumpets now !

It's the cold weather- I am sure it hard wires you to want them.

And yes- prof gig does pass notes- this week - the life and loves of abi urquhart

Crumpets are good for you. I know, have just had 2 and feel great.

I have a pack of crumpets here but I fear I've gone off them-
I must brush up on Howard's Way for the exam....

Gig - will there be questions on Abi's bizarre and alarming wardrobe contents? - I could ace them

Also -Jan's Boutique - who are the people who are willing to pay huge sums for hideous clothing and are happy to have it stuffed in an old carrier bag when they've paid?

I think I may have muffins in the freezer and a couple of bagels for the trolley (also some menthol cough sweets if anyone is desperately hungry - not me obviously, I would never scoff cough sweets when there's no food about)

<dashes into new thread, looks around, and holds out hands for crumpets>

Afternoon all

Tired today - had personal training session and counselling session back to back this morning, and both were hard work. Cold here - DSs school at the top of a hill, so all being told to park at the bottom and walk up the icerink road to school. . . I came an embarrassing cropper on my way out and ended up on my arse, and the lovely headmaster offered to walk me down the hill back to my car

All planning done for tomorrow and I have made a phonics game too

MAS thanks for the book, arrived safely this morning. Will make a start tonight if I am not too tired after Choir.

smee glad to hear DS feeling a bit better. Definitely sounds like he could go back tomorrow!

kurri what a clever DD! Sounds like she is carving out quite a niche for herself. And great experience to have a range of things to play for - ensembles, soloists, church. OUr church is quite creepy in the dark - I am with her on that one! You must be super proud of her

Good news on HND's drains out. Hopefully she'll be breaking for home soon.

Must get to the bottle bank before dark. Have shitloads a few bottles from Christmas to get rid of.

Laters lovelies

Oh ned lovely- sounds like you are getting used to it. Can I pick your brains (or otm if she is lurking) on something that I need to help big gig with? I know she is only little ( reception) but need to try to encourage her to concentrate for longer spells alone- she is fine doing stuff with someone but need to try to urge her to try things by herself and then ask for help rather than having someone do something with her. I was thinking more games , puzzles she can do and then show me what she has managed. Any thoughts?

Prof kurri asks some excellent questions. Perhaps we can discuss together polly and Gerald's Sham marriage? Or why anyone finds Tom Howard irresistible let alone women 20 years younger?

Right back to my reading for open uni.

Gracie when are your scans - tomorrow?

<hurls crumpets at Ned> You sound energised. Did you know today's supposed to be the most depressing day of the year? Slump woman, ffs.

I am useless at knowing anything, so will need coaching from Profs Gigs and Kurri. Do you provide snacks?

Topsy any more news on when HND's back?

And yes, Gracie when are your scans? I am still on the box for you and Gig. Sitting there playing board games with DS. I have so far lost at Monopoly, Payday and now Ticket to Ride. He is most definitely going back to school tomorrow.

Just remembered, I was nattering inanely to DS earlier anxting about whether DH had got to work okay because 'there's lots of ice on the roads'. He thought I said 'mice'. Great image. Just think of the weather maps.

Gig with regard to big gig, I guess its finding things that you know she'll quite happily play with/ can access on her own, Sylvanian families, drawing, a simple puzzle etc and "set her off" on it, so to speak - set up the game with her, play along for a few minutes, start the puzzle off with her etc, and then say "that's brilliant, big gig, can you do the next bit, I am just going to make a drink/ empty the dishwasher and I'll be back in a minute" then go away and leave her for a couple of minutes, lavish lots of praise if she's still focussed when you come back and steadily increase the time.

I know not everyone is a fan of Supernanny, but there's one thing she always tells people to do which I think really works, with DS and in the classroom, and that is to comment really specifically about the positive behaviour and reflect back what you see them do. So instead of "well done, you're playing nicely" be more focussed "well done, aren't you putting the squirrel family in their car beautifully, and now you've put all the meerkats in a line" It sounds false, but it really works, at least it always has for me, with DS and kids that I've taught. You can do it from a distance too, as you walk past, iyswim.

With LittleNed I used to set up something for him to do at the breakfast bar while I was washing up/ making tea whatever, so he was independent but with me at the same time. He didn't cope well if I was just sitting on the sofa, but seemed to accept playing independently if I was busy doing something too. Could you get her a Cbeebies comic or similar, "you can have a look at your big girl comic at the table while I make lunch. . . "

Sorry if that's all a bit patronising, its not meant to be at all. Just a train of thought and some things that worked for me! Hope some of it might be useful x x

X-post smee energised? I don't know about that, but I do feel like I am making baby steps of progress. Only cried once today in my counselling session - surely that's progress?! My counsellor said that I am too self-critical and too hard on myself, and I have to give myself a bit of a break. . . at mice on the road! like this perhaps?

love the mice on the roads ! that could inspire an illustration !
Do you think it's bad to keep looking up mets and life expectancy online ? I think it probably is, but am getting a bit obsessed with it, though I feel very disconnected at the same time- I might be trying to scare myself into feeling something properly. Are lung mets really bad,as opposed to other mets ? Sorry to cast a bit of doom into the thread, but I spend a lot of time looking up stuff,like x ray pictures of lung mets trying to see if they look like mine (from what I remember seeing) I know I should speak to onc or bcn. Sorry- indulgent ramblings.
Am off to do a sample illustration for a poss. job for a Japanese newspaper- it's for a novella written by a writer friend of mine.

MAS - I think it's very natural to want to look things up online and find some sort of answers for what has happened to you. Whether it is a good thing to do or not, only you can know - does it frighten or reassure you? - If the former, I would stop, - it's awfully hard for you lovely - wish I was nearer to give you a big hug - If I was doing a bit of psychological guessing, I'd say you were looking for some kind of certainties, when your life has been thrown into uncertainty. I don't know if that's true but it's a thought.

yes talk to you onc and bcn, - the thoughts and feelings you are having are I'm sure very natural for someone in your situation.

As for whether lung mets are worse - I don't think so, people are affected differently, and some people live a good amount of time with a good quality of life with mets. I think response to treatment, general health and a bit of luck will all play a part. I know there are people on this forum with various types of metastatic cancer who were given a rather dismal prognosis and are still going strong ten years on. It is a very inexact science as far as I can tell.

But you have every right to feel disconnected, disbelieving, angry and sad - and the professionals will be able to help you. (MacMillan is v. good in my experience, I've talked to a nurse in the past and she was brilliant - she understood exactly where I was coming from. I'm sure you would be able to talk to a Mac Nurse if you wanted too, and thought it would help. XXXX

Ned - well done for getting through your counselling today, it does sound as if you are making good progress, nice of HT to help you down the hill, but not nice to fall hope you are OK.

I would like to see mice on the road rather than ice we do get toads here (and I mean hundreds covering the road, - DH goes out with buckets and collects them and takes them across the road, but driving is awful - you can't avoid all of them )

Special question in the Howard's Way advanced paper, 'Avril Rolfe - does she cut her own hair or share Brian May's hair dresser?' - discuss.

And - which prestigious award did Abi win? (answer the 'Most unemotional reaction to giving up your baby in the history of the world "Oh OK you'd better have him then. I'm off on a protest march.")

Ned- that's great advice. She will play well alone at home so I will build on that. I just think the whole school thing is a lot to get used to plus she likes her teacher so responds to the attention.

Mas- I have often gone down the "are my mets worse?" Line of thinking (but never google as ime there is very little on there about my cancer and lets face it nowhere is going to say what I want to hear which is yep you will be ok).

What I do know is kurri is right that there are a lot of people out there with mets who are still going strong years later. You don't tend to hear about them as they are usually too busy living life.
Also like the infertility/mc type stories you tend to see a lot more desperate stories than the good ones as you don't tend to post when things are ok. I know I should go post more on the pregnant loss boards but I don't as am not in that head spAce.

I know my cousin found Specialist therapist helped as I did when she was first dx so maybe Bcn might know someone who could talk you through (or even regular slots with her).

And also it is shit scary and serious so I don't think it is wrong to be upset. Scared and angry about it as well as confused about why.

Kurri- yes abi does win that award. And jan/Tom for quickest recovery from leaving a long marriage in history. Charles frere must have some special designer for his shorts.

Smee- is ds back at school tomorrow?

thanks kk - you are wise as always...am not angry or anything really,that's the problem- I suppose I feel I am not behaving as people normally would. I never cry (the nearest I came to it was when I lost my earring-) I think I displace feelings (when my brother died I didn't allow myself to feel anything- and look where that got me !) The dying thing doesn't frighten me which is odd to me - I think that's why I keep looking, to get a reaction. And people are being so lovely to me and I like the feeling of being looked after which then makes me feel guilty...

Howard's Way End - Leo was such a wet thing- rubbish actor too.

ah,cross posted with you gig - and thanks for your imput too. I do have bcn to talk to I know- I will do that.

Was given a big dose if temazepam as I was really nervous, went to sleep then they cancelled the op as previous lady ran into some problems in theatre.
Just slept of the drugs on the sofa. Very dissapointed but reassured by the team and the pre med really helped.

Hope it is not too long to wait for round 2

Oh pen for you and hardly thing you want to hear when nervous.

Mas- I think all your past experiences(especially your brother) all gets mixed up. You have a real and very big thing to deal with it but it just tends to make your default reaction stronger (for me it's fear of being alone and unsupported and forgotten )
On nice mets story, my lovely cousin got an ok at her latest scan- that will be her 5th year post ovarian dx with a grim prognosis and lots of different stuff. She thinks her art work also helped so I do think being focussed helps so your work is a great thing.

I am offering some very nice tonight whilst waitkn

Ach Pen, how annoying. Have they given you any idea about when you'll be rescheduled?

Ned, you are doing brilliantly just getting up and functioning, let alone working, getting fit, going to counselling, being a fab mum. Honestly, I know it's hard but it takes time and you'll get there. xx

MAS, I think the unknown's the worst part of any cancer, let alone mets. I know I felt much better once I knew full pathology and what the timetable was to being out of treatment, so I'd say the unknown is your worst enemy. Trouble with googling, is if you lined 100 people up with lung mets, they'd all be slightly different. v.hard not to do, but nobody can tell you what's next. Not sure how you get through it, but maybe Kurri or Gig are right and Macmillan or your BCN can help a bit more?

Yes Gig, DS definitely back at school tomorrow. He's totally fine and has eaten the entire contents of the fridge with no mention of tummy ache.

for your cousin, Gig. Nice story and v.timely for you worried about your scan and for MAS too.

yes,that's a great story gig - am v pleased for her. You all speak sense !
Sorry about the cancellation pen- how annoying - hope it doesn't make for more anxiety.
Off to be now - dh says there's heavy snow forecast for Friday,which is my hosp. appointment - the roads from here to there are notoriously awful in bad weather (v twisty and twirly country roads)

MAS, like the 'be'. Possibly a warmer place than 'bed'. I just watched BBC forecast and it sounds like Friday's the turning point, but weekend's more when the snow might fall, so you might be okay for appt.

Pen - so sorry they cancelled your op - that is very tough, hope they reschedule asap so you are not kept hanging around.

Weather getting steadily worse here - my yoga group lady phoned a while ago to say tomorrows class cancelled. Roads may have cleared a bit through use by Friday though MAS - fingers crossed you'll be able to get to your appointment.

Gig - good to hear about your cousin, - good for her

Night night all x

smee @ the be- that is Mindfulness- just be,in the present moment.
Am up and it's v chilly...

? I am lurking in bed for as long as possible. Shoulder aching again (it did get better after massage last week) so hoping painkillers kick in soon. On good news front tho my leg is loads better although more work needed on flexibility - it doesn't ache though.

Tis cold here and big gig is desperate for snow .

grr about shoulder gig

Ouch to shoulder Gig - hope it is feeling a bit better after horse pills.

Morning Mas

Goodness it is snowy here, have had several 'cancelled' phone calls since about 8 this morning, and DH has decided not to go in to work - he's gone off for a walk in the snow instead Even google has a little man in a snow plough!

DD has not emerged form her bed yet - I suspect she has hibernated

Right - hot drinks all round(I have tea, green tea, various fruit and herb teas,coffee (caff or decaff)hot chocolate and horlicks), and I will make a vat of porridge and a heap of toast for all <fills trolley>

Oh has anyone been watching winterwatch on BBC2 this week? - some lovely shots of places in Norfolk and some of our wildlife - we have been to that enormous rookery to see the roosting and it is amazing! And the seals of course are gorgeous.

No snow here .
Just rain .
<huffs and climbs back into sofa/blanky cocoon>

Pen when I first went in for my mx , I got all the way to being in a hospital gown and then got bumped as my surgeon called in sick !
I feel your pain my love . Here's hoping they get you rescheduled ASAP !

Mas I see secondaries as a long term thing . Something that will need occasional treatment , but not affecting me apart from that .
The best way to see it is as any other life long illness like diabetes etc .
<doesn't stop me googling stats or perching on the paranoia box though>

Any breakfast suggestions ?
I know it's a little late for brekkie , but I don't eat at brekkie time .

Hot chocolate please kk
And maybe some porridge , is there any honey to put in it ?

I have honey topsy- hot chocolate for me too.

Agree about long term- cousin really had very grim prognosis (wouldn't even say if she would make it to Xmas when dx) but with treatment (ops chemo etc) it has stabilised. My specialist nurse talks in same terms. And you are absolutely right as people forget that if not managed properly you will die from diabetes, asthma , heart conditions etc .

Having said all that I know will need spell on box when it is scan.

Was glued to radio whilst I was being a bed for mini gig (I have my uses- she was curled up with her new toy wol mas) as dh was passing where helicopter crashed on train this Mornjng.

Shoulder easier with drugs- it just needs exercise as it has got out of place after op.

Pen are you ok today?

Kurri- it looks like you have brunt of snow where you are.

hot choc and porridge coming up topsy ( I think there is honey in the cupboard - it may be rather old though). Snow is a nuisance but it is so pretty, and we don't have it very often, so I'm not really complaining.

DH has come back having bought quantities of bird food from the village shop, and has now disappeared to take photos. He'll be looking for a toboggan next

wont a tea tray do kurri?

there is a fab you know you grew up in the 80s thread in chat that is distracting me from my ou work . In someways its as well I didnt have the net when I was a student first time round.

So jealous of the snow kurri, as topsy says just miserable rain here and mighty cold.

That is annoying pen hopefully they will reschedule soon but rotten to get that far and then sent home.

Hope your shoulder eases gigs. Does a brufen rub so any good? Is your scan this week?

mas my nurse always likes to tell me about her patients who are still going strong 9-10 years after mets dx. They do look at it like a chronic illness.

Surgeon appointment went well last night. I had a mammogram which was all clear . Echo this morning was 'hopefully' ok so just MRI to go next week.

Painkillers , warmth and massage all help- it was fine for about 4 days after last massage but I slip into bad posture habits so set it off again. Physio again on Friday before my scan so see what that says.

That is great that mammo all clear- and it's good are being so thorough with MRI although they are uncomfy .

well done gracie

Yay for you, Gracie. I will sit on paranoia box until MRI, but still that must be a huge relief.

That notion of mets being chronic makes sense. V.hard to accept that 100% of the time am sure, but maybe as you learn more about your own situation, and see that the treatment's working it gets easier to do?

Gig, where was the crash? Just heard it on the news, but it said 'central London' and nothing else. Did DH see it? Glad to hear leg's better, but ouchy arm sounds grim.

Pen, how are you today? Any news on new date for op? Really hope it's soon.

Kurri, if DH goes as far as a toboggan, you should go too. I love sledging.
No snow here. B'ah.. but looking promising for weekend. Little Smee v.excited.

I am ok today thanks. I was in gown knocked out on the pre med when the sent Dr Twelveyearold to tell me it could not be done today.

Admissions rang this morning and it is now scheduled for thurs next week so not too long to wait. I have years of housework to catch up on so am are I will keep busy.

Aw Pen - that's terrible when you were all prepared for it.

That happened to me years ago - cancelled my gall bladder removal having got me all gowned up for theatre. The rules are that if They cancel for non-clinical reasons they must offer you appointment within 2 weeks or you can chose to have the operation/treatment done at any hospital of your choice (including privately). If you google the key words you can find the NHS document about it.

I was taken to hospital by ambulance on Saturday morning after a night of dry-retching and vomming (TMI). Ambulance crew and admitting nurse told me I looked 'really dreadful '. Had 4 days in there on continuous IV fluid and anti-ems. Now at home. Still not feeling 100% at all - very shaky and gaseous which triggers the vomming. Have different set of anti-ems.

Nice Dr said that my chemo is probably the worst one for nausea side-effects but even so they shouldn't be that bad.

Now very worried about next 3 cycles although they assure me they will review the chemo and maybe adjust. At the moment I just feel chemically plugged at both ends.

poor you AtoZ spounds awful..am sure they will adjust your dose- I have had mine changed twice already because of side effects...hope you feel less plugged soon.
pen that's good that you haven't too long to wait. The pre-med sounds a good idea for next time ?
Am drawing things for Mr gig (men ski ing !) and waiting until it's piano lesson time for the boy. I get to read my book while he plays (first volume of The Cazalets - Elizabeth Jane Howard- all the volumes posted to me by a friend in Birmingham- very kind of her- absolutely love it so far)

Atoz that's awful but agree they should tweak dose cos as mas knows. And I know prolonged spell in hospital doesn't help.

Smee- was by vauxhall - dh didn't see it but I have been past on train today and you can see wreckage and also how very near it was too railway/houses etc.

I loved the cazalets when I read it. Strictly there should be a picture of dh falling over and then self medicating with beer as that seems to be what happens when he skis with that lot.

Oh my, AtoZ, that does sound grim. I had awful nausea/ vomiting and nothing much worked until they reduced the dose. They guess the amount of whichever drugs they to give you based on a pretty crude height/ weight ratio and a lot of us have had doses of drugs reduced so we can tolerate them, so don't despair. Keep tucked up warm xx

Gig, phew that's good he didn't see it and wasn't there. Sounds v.scarily like a far bigger disaster could have happened. Awful.

MAS, are you still doing a lot better this time round? Hope you are. x

Pen, next Thurs isn't so long away, but still must feel like ages. What a pain. I have housework you could do if you need things to fill the time.

this last cycle was a breeze ! take heart AtoZ though I do think capecitabine is easier going than most chemo drugs, which is good as some people are on it continuously.
Piano done and so I guess i must return to ski ing men- Mr gig didn't ask for a picture of himself fallingover skiing - it all sounds very jolly and I have learned about tequila infused beer.

gracie - great that mammo was clear

pen - next thursday not too long to wait (I know it probably feels like ages to you though), - at least they got back to you quickly.

AtoZ - sorry you had to go in to hospital, hope they manage to tweak your dose so you are not hit so hard the next time, hope you feel a little better soon, that shaky sick feeling is horrid

Gig - thank goodness your DH didn't have to see that awful accident, - but as you say Smee, - it could well have been even worse.

MAS - Cazalets is good, you will enjoy it

Smee - I'll encourage the snow to go your way for Master Smee to enjoy

I've just finished Howard's End, and I enjoyed it despite feeling very annoyed with lots of the characters.

Pen - sorry to hear about your rescheduled appointment.

I loved Howards Way, and got very excited once when I saw Barracuda in a boat yard in Lymington several years ago. I always thought that Charles De Frere was a bit creepy.

Mice on the road - brill!

I've never had honey and hot chocolate but Baileys in hot chocolate is delicious.

marking my place...

AtoZ ask them for a syringe driver next time .
It's a small pump that continuously feeds you anti sickness drugs .
I had one for 5 days with every dose of chemo and it was a life saver !

That helicopter crash this morning was awful .
BBC news were interviewing an eye witness on the phone , and the poor guy was almost crying .
And you can tell that all the bastard presenter wanted to know was "did you see any dead bodies"

Just back from visiting HND in hospital .
Am beginning to think she likes it in there
She's now having to have her boob aspirated due to it sloshing about like a hot water bottle .
And she's also got to be nil by mouth from midnight as they might have to take her back into surgery to do the same on her back !!!

Gracie yippee for clear mammo , what's next for you ?

Gigs when do you have/get results for your scan ?

Snow forecast for here on Friday .
I'm secretly quite happy that we are getting some , but that's because I don't need to leave the house and can sit infront of a roaring fire watching out of my window !

Honey was for the porridge Invictor not the hot choccie , that would be all kinds of wrong

<waves like loon at Amber >

Poor hnd- it's a bugger when you won't drain. Are they going to insert a Hoover thingy in to help if necessary or just clean her up? I had to have clean up but worked a treat.

Scan is Friday lunchtime and see onc on Tuesday lunch. Am doing ok about it if I don't think about it too much.

Oh no, poor HND. Bugger about the not draining. Hope they sort her soon.

Gig, am on the box for you. Useless I know, but am thinking of you. xx

I like snow so long as it lasts a day only and I can a) have a snowball fight, b) go sledging, then c) curl up and watch our road as a winter wonderland. After that it's sludgly annoying and I want rid of it. But yes, please send your snow Kurri. Me and DS need it. Will send westwards to Topsy when we're done.

grr about non-draining hnd
Bloods today and hoping the snow doesn't prove to be too pesky here- a bit would be nice though.

A to Z Sorry you ended up in hospital. It is miserable and scary, especially when days before you were entirely healthy. I felt quite resentful towards my "poisoner". However as smee says the dosage is very crude, and it is entirely normal for them to reduce it when they realise how it affects your body. My dosage was reduced at every one of the six cycles, and the treatments delayed to let my body recover properly. On the plus side the mega dose will have started the treatment with a good blast and you got a ride in an ambulance...

Poor hnd, I had problems with fluid (Sonoma? Just googled, not Sonoma, that is nice place in California , Seroma is fluid.... ) had to keep having it drained, but not a hoover, a HUGE great syringe, a GA would have been a fine thing, also so I didn't have to put up with the doctor that kept having to do it. (It was my first encounter with that sub group of doctors who react, annoyed and put out, as if you have done it deliberately ......wonky oncy was like that too, would tell you off for low blood counts as if you were a naughty schoolgirl and it had nothing to do with the poison. So probably Topsy you should go in and tell hnd off , that will sort her out )

MAS I do know what you mean about not feeling. Ever since Cancer I have reacted to any sort of trauma that way, it is probably your sub conscious protecting you, though I also think there is something of once you have learnt the hard way that life can be shit then it comes as no shock when it is IYSWIM. However I think that going on Dr Google may be a bit like picking a scab, better to talk to BCN who will doubtless tell of all the people who are living with mets for years. There are certainly plenty being treated at The Marsden.

gigs DH must have gone through Vauxhall 20 minutes before the helicopter accident. At least the mobile network didn't go down. On 7/11 I couldn't get through to him until lunchtime.

How is the studying? Are you enjoying it? Just reading can be hard to get down to but once you have a purpose and a deadline then it helps you focus especially if you have procrastinated so long that there are not enough hours in the day to meet it. Procrastination is a recognised condition now, we have very touchy feely hippy commune department that offers lots of support crystals, yoga, woo to procrastinators and the stressed. They even have procrastinators anonymous courses but I have not yet felt able to stand up and say "my name is ---- and I am a procrastinator" I am sure OU will have similar

Better get on but thinking of everyone with tests, scans etc. Moves considerable rump on to paranoia box, now NOTHING can escape.

Just watched last nights One Born Every Minute <guilty secret>
And they showed a clip of next weeks episode .
Midwife : so where are you from ?
Patient : Peru
Midwife : is that where Paddington Bear is from ?

....................

If that's your worst viewing you have some way to go- I am proud to say I loved a series on sky called Britains roughest pubs.

Not that this post falls under procrastination copthall (yes it is slow getting back into the reading and learning how to organise myself but am
Enjoying it).

There was a surprisingly fab documentary on last week about parking fines.

How are you, Gig? Keeping busy? And you too, Gracie. Scattering the remains of Christmas cake on trolley to distract you both from scans.

AtoZ how are you today? Feeling any better yet? Hope you are.

Topsy, any news on HND? Did she have to have op to clear fluid?

Hope bloods weren't gruesome, MAS. What did they say about potentially missing Onc appt due to weather? Is there a plan B?

Have just had my bone density scan. Was completely fine about it until dimwit clicked that it's imaging, so starting anxting about them spotting something. Bloody hell, it never ends does it? Anyways, still excited by idea of snow, so will concentrate on that. Have you sent it yet, Kurri? <drums fingers impatiently>

I am addicted to One born every minute. DD thinks it is very sad, "wasn't it bad enough having to do it twice?" as I weep copiously Was very disappointed my lovely niece refused to be filmed when nursing one of the babies they filmed in the neo natal ward, the nurse they filmed was an imposter!! That particular midwife who they seem to be focusing on this series nothing to do with her being blonde, sweet and pretty I am sure has come out with some corkers but my favourite was the man who couldn't work out that the big red button with emergency written on it was the one to press when they needed the midwife as wife was in distress, and kept pressing the buttons that changed the ambience of the lighting......

Not procrastinating either gigs , oh no.

smee Dr Geek said that all they can read from dexa scans is bone density, so Osteporosis, Vitamin D deficiency in children, so that is all you can get paranoid about really. It measures the rate at which a small amount of radiation, much less than an X ray, less even than you would get on a long haul flight, travels through the bone and you get a measure of bone density in your back and hips in relation to the average .

You need the proper bone scan to investigate for mets, when they inject you with a radioactive material which picks up any bone building hotspots, in response to Cancer, trauma etc. It even picked up that my sacro iliac joint was traumatised by giving birth to DD2 (10.5 pounds ).

we watched OBEM too- I liked the Latvian girl - that blonde midwife's voice would seriously grate,I must say.
smee no idea about what to do if it's too snowy- dh has written me a stern email saying that there's no way he'll let me go if he thinks it's too dangerous (he wrote it in caps) Kind friend who has a 4x4 has offered to take me, but she lives over beyond B/stoke which would mean her coming and going twice over. Am just hoping that it's ok for me to go and then it can snow as much as it likes when I'm home.

Ah, thanks Copthall. I am a ninny. I had a full bone scan last year during another bout of paranoia and it was all clear, so phew for that.

MAS, what time's the appointment? If morning you could well be fine as snow's more likely after lunch apparently. Don't risk getting stuck though. DH is right to be so capitally assertive.

Copthall at 10.5 pounds. I'd bet the sacro iliac wasn't the only part of you that traumatised..

Evening all Am knackered after full day at school. Am hoping it will start getting easier at some point. . .

Bloody chilly here - heavy snow forecast for all day tomorrow, so unlikely that I will be venturing out to work. Might get out OK, but sure as hell wouldn't get back! Might possibly be hoping that DSs school shut and we can have a quiet, snuggly one on the sofa. . .

at 10.5lb copthall *smee is right about your traumatised bits. . . I managed to press that red emergency button when I was in labour with DS. It wasn't an emergency at all, but no-one had shown me the smaller "call" button next to it It was very dramatic, many staff ran in from all directions, and all I wanted was more batteries for my TENS machine. .

smee perching my ample arse on the paranoia box for you, lovely. I remember you had the clear bone scan last year. That's what you need to hang on to, right? Is Dexa scan in preparation for moving you off Tamoxifen? How long must you wait to find out?

MAS don't risk snow, my love, you don't want to come a cropper in the wild Hampshire lanes. . . I see T's school is "partially shut" (on Heart FM website) Is he affected? I have always thought its a bit mean to give some the day off but not all. Picture arrived today - it is awesome and perfect! Seeing the recipient on Tuesday, so safe to post on FB then! Will send cheque post haste. . .

Hope everyone is OK today and staying warm.

Love you all lots x x x x

appointment at 11, so that might be ok- snowing here now, but not very heavily...T over joyed...
He has to go in for a GCSE History exam,no matter what, but I guess can come home afterwards.
Waves to ned - glad picture is safely with you ! Hope you can relax this evening after a full day

Actually smee Ned No I can't say I even noticed the trauma to my sacro illiac joint , it was very quick and would have made a good One Born Every Minute. I ended up being wheeled to the delivery room kneeling up in the chair, because I refused to sit down, understandably I think what with what was going on down below, slumped over the back screaming, with the midwife running along with her head between me and the porter maintaining eye contact and shouting "DON'T PUSH" at me, and another running along in front (to catch if I did?). I screamed, swore and made lots of terrible noises and when I apologised after the midwife said "Don't worry quick births are always like that. I had a nice lawyer the other week that bit me, she was very apologetic after"

smee Hopefully you will pass the dexa with flying colours and get letrazole and not be a failure and a sad disappointment to the doctors like me, yet again!!

MAS I managed not to cry during last nights OBEM, until the Latvian girls' lovely Mum arrived on the megabus....

Ned Teaching is so very tiring, it is very physical, take care of yourself.

DDs school psyching themselves up for a snowday I reckon, lots of "In the event" "for health and safety reasons" emails and texts. I come over all northern at these snowdays, having grown up in a village only exited via a 1 in 4 hill, and we NEVER had snow days. Dad would rally and slip, slide and skid up and down those hills no matter what. MAS DON'T TRY IT (uses DH's shouty capitals) Hopefully it won't start until you are back and tucked up and can look out on it as romantic scene , rather than a health and safety hazard.

ps Obviously by come over all northern I mean <turns into Monty Python "You were Lucky" northerner> Off to warm up with some Chateau de Chasillez.

Did you get one of those emails too!? I am just hoping that doesn't bugger my hospital trip either mas - not that I expect a lot of snow early but sw trains have got their excuses in already

Ouch at the birth stories - I was profoundly uncomfortable with mini gig this time last year.

I remember asking the midwife to make my bed into a chair (apparently it could be adjusted to this effect) but she was hopeless at it, plus she wanted my fan turned off as she had a cold (and I was boiling hot as it was midsummer and baking) The best bit about the birth was having the company of a fabulous medical student who held my hand and was wonderful- we are still in touch -she's now a GP in Leeds.

I'll be sensible copt Dh will hide my car keys....

Gig, what time do you have to be there tomorrow? I think snow's due to hit London mid morning, so you might be okay if it's an early scan? Will be thinking of you xx

MAS, definitely don't risk the roads if there's any doubt. Am sure it's annoying, but we can't have you stuck in a car. We'll have to come out with tartan rugs and fbs to find you.

Ned, hugely well done to manage a day's teaching. Am wishing you snow tomorrow so you can curl up and rest. I am not really all that worried about bone density scan. I think it was more that I was in the same place that I had to go to for first bone scan nearly 3 years ago now. Brought it all back to me.

On birth, have to say biting lawyers sounds about right. Love the Porter shouting 'Don't Push' at you, Copthall and MAS how lovely that you're still in touch with that doctor. Denzil Washington forceped mini Smee out. Genuinely he was a serious look-alike, utterly gorgeous and there was me with my legs in stirrups after 48 hours in labour.

thinking of gig - sending lots of love. Am having porrige for breakfast.

Happy Snow Morning

Mine and DSs school shut today, so don't have to feel guilty about not struggling in to work. DS got a bit of a cough anyway, so quiet TV day planned, with possibly a short-lived foray into the back garden at some point, just so we can say that we have built a snowman!

MAS PLEASE GO CAREFULLY (DHs capitals) if you venture out today. Will worry about you til we know you're safely home x x

That goes for anyone else venturing out this morning - hope lots of DCs schools shut so we don't have to risk ourselves out in the snow

Stay warm lovelies x x x x

It's at lunchtime but got physio and therapy first so going in early. So far no snow here.
Keep candles lit, fingers crossed for me

Posted without wishing gorgeous gig all the very best for this morning - got everything crossed for you x x x

Thanks ned-you got a snow day? And how you feeling?

Got the lance Armstrong interview to distract me- am big cycling fan so iinterested (and not that surprised about all this).

Best positive thoughts to you today Gigs

Mas you be very careful if you are out on those roads .
And tell T I am sending him good luck vibes for his exam today .

No snow here yet , but it's on it's way apparently . Amber weather warning .

I am planning to stop my sofa from flying away today , but planting my substantial rear on it

Those crumpets still haven't arrived ...

I never cared for Lance Armstrong- read one of his books and thought how up his own arse he was. And not very nice.
T's school is still open so he is disappointed about not coming home after exam..he is willing it to blizzard. So far a sprinkling so roads should be fine going-will keep an eye out for return journey.
Happy cosy snow days for those without school

Thanks gig yes, snow day here for me and DS I think I am OK, tired, but pleased to be back at work. My therapist says that I am too self critical and that I need to challenge that part of my personality. He said what did I see when I looked in the mirror and I said "fat" (which is the truth) so we are talking a bit about self image etc. I said to him that I didn't want to be the person I was last year, with the whole cancer "identity", but he said I couldn't get rid of that person entirely, that I had to use the experience of 2012 to shape the new person that I want to be now. Makes sense in theory, but its a bit harder to do in practice! He's a very lovely man (if ever so slightly camp!) and I know that it is helping talking to him, even if the sessions are hard work and draining. I am less weepy from day to day, so I guess that's progress. . . Sorry, that was a bit of a waffle!

Got bagels here topsy if that would do as a substitute?

Depends Ned , what flavour ?
<fussy>

DDs school open and her train running and there isn't even a frost . Everything crossed for gigs, doesn't look as if even South West Trains can plead adverse weather, though of course they may get out and dust off their "wallaby on the line at Chessington" excuse.

Lances book was given to me by about 5 people when I was diagnosed, all very inspirational it seemed

Hope it is all clear for Mas too.

I am seriously looking forward to walking goon dog in a blizzard, it will make a change, and scare off the nasty posh couple with the evil fat black lab of the Baskervilles that roam Hampton Court Park and bully goon dog and I ....Wonder if I can get goon dog to carry a flask of brandy.

Topsy I can do raisin and cinnamon or plain with sesame seeds on . Can do with real butter too?

Hmm , sesame I think .
Lashings of real butter please .
<greedy>

Copthall snow is pig/dogs very favourite weather .
He has a harness that he wears on walkies , and I think a flask could be clipped to it ...

Still raining ...

quick pop on as after changing internet to by in November and not going unlimited we have gone WELL over our allowance and can't get changed to unlimited until next week, grr.

Just want to wish gigs and mas good luck today and anybody else who needs it.

sigh - am not going as it's really snowing here and dh went ballistic because I was attempting to go. Made appointment for next week - they said several people had cancelled anyway.
T will be cheered by school closing @ 12

Sesame, butter and honey for me please, Ned.

Glad to hear your stern DH made you not risk it, MAS. Snow here, but it's really only just getting started. DS at school, he'll be so excited. Will have to go dust the cobwebs off the sledge. Will definitely need brandy for when we venture out.

Candles lit for Gig. Thinking of you xx

Hope it was all ok gig xxx

I think the end if the world is coming
My sky signal has failed
Aaaaaaaaaaaaargh !!!!!!
<runs around panicking>

Scan ok- my lovely dad came and kept me company so we had a late lunch afterwards. Physio brutal tho

No sky!!

Just got to keep fingers crossed now for results .

Now the small matter of mini gigs birthday tomorrow ..

Well done gig and grrrr about sky topsy

Afternoon all

Just reading all your posts. We have had more snow here = DH couldn't get into work today, the roads are really icy - no gritters out here in the sticks it seems We had a power cut last night, or rather a semi power cut - massive drop in voltage and lights, kettle etc all went off, but we had TV initially, then that went too - just as they were doing an item on the New forest on Winterwatch - grr. My computer was not amused at the power messing around and is now very hard to start up and making a noise like a dolphin (clack clack clack!)

Glad the scan went OK Gig and nice that your Dad could come with you.

Hope everyone is well and keeping warm, love Kate x

Oh FFS - thought I was sending an e-mail there - ignore my complete senility!

aww !

Hahahahahaha kk
<losing it>


Sky back .
Phew .
We won't have to sit around talking to each other all evening ...

Snowing lots here .
Took poor DH almost 3 hours to get home from work this evening . Normally takes 1/2 hour !

Power keeps flickering too .
<looks around nervously for candles>

KK

Topsy (on proper computer that isn't convinced you are a dipsomaniac) did pig dog get his snowday? Goondog also really loves snow, it was like Narnia this aft, very uplifting, even if no brandy as Goondog refused to do a St Bernard impersonation (I wasn't going to push it, am a bit phobic about St Bernards after looked after one that was a baby substitute for friends on their honeymoon and it died of a heart attack on Day 2, couldn't wreck honeymoon but then couldn't leave 13 stone of dead dog til their return, ended up throwing a "dig a hole for the huge dog" party in their back garden. I know It was good black humour training though...

DD out for the evening so a while before all safe home <worried>

love, ha! not telling

Topsy is stone cold sober tonight unfortunately

Pig/dog did enjoy his snow day thank you . He had a good snuffle about on his walk this evening .
He then sulked for over an hour as he was shut in the kitchen (where he has a bed , 2 mats , and a chair of his own) to dry off

Lolling about the St Bernard though

Shouldn't laugh at dead St Bernard, - but I am

I posted just after answering some e-mails - seriously I am losing it - <no room in brain for more than one task emoticon>

Old lady dog isn't keen on snow - she did a wee on the doorstep - that was as far outside as she was prepared to go, so now I am carrying her out into the garden!

DD is supposed to go about 40 miles tomorrow night to play for her opera singer, - but I think there's a good chance of cancellation, which will be a shame because it was a well paid gig. She's also had to cancel her teaching tomorrow as roads too bad - so she's not best pleased.

Hope your Dd is home soon Copt.

DD home Hope everyone else all home and snug .
Love......still not telling

at St Bernard. You know you're amongst friends when we all laugh at such things.

Kurri, if you've lost it well I speak your language. I am peculiar atm. Put the kettle on the top of the hob to make rice earlier. Just realised as I lit the gas.

Glad you're home safe, Gig. Hope mini-Gig's birthday is wondrous tomorrow, though I know it's fraught with memories of last year, so take care of yourself and heft yourself over here if you need hugs of understanding. x

Glad DD home safe, Copt. Mighty glad Topsy's got her Sky back too as couldn't bear the strop if she didn't.

Night all. zzz <with a bit of luck>

Morning all - tried to post last night and ended up not being able to see the thread! Found you again now, so I'll put a on and wish minigig the best birthday.
Off for a run in the snow, think I'll take a sledge too...

happy first birthday to mini gig !!
The St Bernard burial v funny (poor dog)
Glad dd is safely home copt
Message from senior bcn asking if Icould do a picture of all 3 of them to hang in the breast unit !!! (I did her birthday card) awww.
Dh and T (mostly dh) built a snowman in the garden in the twilight -the snow so bright they could see everything as it got darker- we didn't need torches to guide us over the garden to mum and dad's for our traditional Friday drinks

Happy 1st Birthday Mini Gig
Have a fabulous day !

Happy birthday to mini gig!

Hope hnd and atoz are on the mend

Happy Birthday to minigig Can't believe its a whole year! Sending you lots of love x x x x

Ooo happy birthday, miniGig!

Glass of wine anyone ?
Fires lit .
Dinners cooked .
Just waiting for DH and the DC to get back from mass .

Might be tmi , but I've got a dodgy dodgy tum .
Nearly got caught short in Tesco this afternoon .
Now that's a thread I wouldn't want to write ........

Happy birthday mini gig.

Happy Birthday minigig xx

I'll have a please topsy (hope the runs are better, - pity you didn't have a mishap in Tesco, you could have blamed it on the horse burgers and claimed compensation )

BCN picture is a lovely idea MAS, how nice

DD has gone off to her opera singer thing tonight - roads are a bit better, - there wasn't any more snow overnight - but I'll be glad when she's back home. She has to get up to play church organ for 9 a.m tomorrow, - so hope she's not too late home.

love to all x

Copt - since you won't tell I am guessing your name is Lavender or possibly Gladys. <massive apologies if it actually is either of those - they are lovely names )>

Smee - glad I am not the only one losing the plot.

There is a very sad pheasant in our garden - he has a huge clump of compacted snow attached to his undercarriage - like a big snowball, - he keeps kicking at it, but it's stuck fast - I tried to catch him so I could break it off, but didn't manage it (I am not as fast as a snow encrusted pheasant apparently), so I've just put loads of food out, in the hope that at least he'll be able to eat, until it melts off him.

Thanks all-
Mini gig had a lovely day (tho still doesn't like cake). Enjoyed a trip in the snow too. I felt ok after having a real wobble last night. But think I may be coming down with something as came over very sick and feverish at dinner time. Now lieing in bed with an assortment of cold drinks to sip-
Chemo does have some benefits about knowing helpful nausea tricks.

Uh oh Gigs , you joining me on the poorly couch ?
I actually feel fine , just my bottom disagrees with me ...

Poor pheasant kk
But finding very amusing , the thought of you chasing him around the garden

Are we guessing Cops real name ? I missed that . What are our clues ?
I think Lavinia Trumpington-Smythe

poor gig and topsy - feel better soon both of you.
Aww,poor pheasant
Really exhausted today which is weird as no drugs-we trudged to town and that seemed a bit of an effort. Am wrestling with a wedding picture for someone in Arizona - am trying to simplify all the ideas into something that works !
Hope dd is home safely kk

Good grief Topsy I am NORTHERN!! but not Lavendar or Gladys, or Doris . Though I did have an Auntie Doris, she was lovely. This could be a good game, as a clue mother thought she had christened me something unique and chic and then a few years later every girl on the Council estate had the same name (not Chardonnay, this was the 60s...), we all bonded at Guides. She made a similar
mistake with Andrew for my bother, just ahead of the Queen! Then I picked a name for DD1 that was nowhere on the lists and rose to No 1 in a year, after my childhood choices of Emily (Heathcliff!) and Eleanor (Lion in Winter) had met a similar fate.

However I always think pheasants have names like Lavinia or Jemima, they have that air of the thick rich. Strutting around with that air of complete bafflement, yah, rah, ah! Can just imagine Jeeves with snow on his undercarriage......

Hope all bottoms and undercarriages good by morning

Hmmm , northern and named in the 60s ???
Sharon ???

I named DS after his grandfather , and it seems to be ridiculously popular now .
And DDs name , at the time , seemed lovely and individual . Without being weird . And seems now to be one of the major chav (ducks and hides) names of choice

My name ? I have no idea why my parents decided on it .
And unfortunately they are no longer around for me to ask them why ???

Copt I imagine sharon yelled with a thick brummy accent !
<disclaimer- have drunk a whole bottle if wine and may no longer be considered to have a valid opinion on anything>

Also giggling at naming pheasants
Maybe Rupert or Xavier ???

Aw poor pheasant. I work with a northern Sharon who has a tendency to shortern names. think shaz, kaz (for karen) I'm midlands and named in the 60s - at school we had lots of variations of Susan..

Morning all

Happy birthday to my gorgeous DH Went out last night to new Carluccio's Italian restaurant opened locally. 'Twas lovely.

I named DS after his two paternal grandfathers (first name and middle name) good "solid" traditional names. . . but also two of the engines from "Thomas the Tank Engine". . . Unfortunately he never got that excited about the characters at all!

topsy hope the bottom is better this morning. Just a bug do you think, or something you drank ate? Take it easy and eat fbs to replenish yourself.

gig you feeling any better today? Sorry you had a wobble. Thinking of you x x x

MAS I find walking in the snow hard work, so maybe you just wore yourself out. Take it easy today and don't work too hard x x x

kurri hope DD had a lovely time and got home safely. Such a great experience for her! What news on Rupert the pheasant?

jchoc park run in the snow? Really?? You is hard as nails, woman

waves to smee, copthall, gracie, invicta, pen, AtoZ, greylady and anyone else around this morning.

Loads of love to sometimes and sparkle if you're lurking. Hope all is well.

Better go and encourage DS to write in DH's card before DH gets up.

love you all - stay warm x x x

happy birthday to Mr ned ! have a lovely day !
I was called my name because it wouldn't matter if I was plain- they were thinking of a Persian name as I was born in Tehran (Shirin -meaning sweet)
I called T his name because I just liked it- there were hardly any Theo's around then and it was a good combination of slightly edgy and cool and unusual. The northern rellies said you could tell we lived in the fancy south.
My middle name is a variation on Mary as most Catholic girls have that somewhere and it's my mum's middle name. T's second name is my brother's.
Am going to ponder on copt's name....

Morning
Never , ever , let me drink again !

Happy happy birthday Mr Ned
Carluccios ?
Not jealous , no not me , not in the slightest .....

In the cold harsh sober light of day , I think Copt is called Sarah Louise

Right , need to drink another vat of coffee and get ready to go to Granny's .
Later Gators x

Carluccios and we weren't invited?! Though I know it's because Topsy would have disgraced us all... Happy Birthday to Mr Ned. Hope you have a lovely time.

Copt are you a Tracey? There were a few when I was little. I don't mind my name. It's not v.exciting, but it's universally dull, so that's okay by me. hates to stand out Lots of faffing when we named DS, but we went for traditional name which could be shortened if he wanted it to be. All v.sensible.

Hope Rupert's undercarriage is thawed.

Off out in the snow now. We have enough to sledge now too. Yay!!

Wrong again! Though close in that DD2 is Sarah, named after my best friend and an Auntie, (after DH and I argued over names for two weeks since breakneck birth left me with no negotiating power, rather sweetly DD1 still thinks she named her after we sort of manipulated it so she thought she had , as in "if it wasn't for me those two would never have got their act together to give you a name" ) so basically everyone in family is Sarah but me!

Puts fat coke on trolley for Topsy again

Sharon not bad, everyone on Council estate in village who did not have my name was our Sharon, or our Denise. But brummie , north? Deep South more like!

Perhaps another clue, it became popular after two films came out , and no I am not Pussy or Ursula...

Happy Birthday Mr Ned wasn't that a horse? (Just googled, it was Mr Ed I was thinking of but there is indeed a racehorse named after Mr Ned!) Carluccios ?

How is hnd has the floating boob stuck down yet?

Snowing hard here, looking forward to blizzard walk, though not talking to goon dog as he has dug up my flower beds tunnelling under the fence, next we will catch him revving his motorbike as he rides up and down looking for best place to jump (my name isn't Steve either) He seems to be having a mid life crisis, tunnelling, stealing food off table , growling at evil fat black lab of the baskervilles , gelling his hair.....

Not Tracey either! smee

Hayley - after Hayley Mills?

Honey ?

Linda? I admit I'm a bit older but I'm Northern and had 3 Linda's in my primary school class.

Hmm, Kathleen, Jane, Marion, Joyce, Elaine, Judith, Shirley (going through my primary school register now! Quite good as brain gym perhaps?)

Julie? (sound of music)

Ha! The umbrella with a parrot on the end goes to sandripples . It is of course pronounced Jooleh where I come from.

Dusts off her wimple and heads for the hills...

Deborah? Helen? I'm Julie, after Julie Christie. Who obviously I'm a dead ringer for.

v.excited as just found forgotten remains of DS's selection box from Christmas, so have just scoffed a Freddo Frog. mmm...

Had huge snowball fight in our road with neighbours, off sledging in a bit. I will want it all to melt by tomorrow, but for now it's perfect.

Boo! I missed that SR won the prize.

smee snap, especially the dead ringer for Julie Christie bit!

Waving to twin.

Triplets, with Julie C!

I'm delighted with my new umbrella - thank-you very much! have always wanted one with a parrot on the end.

The hills are alive........dadadadadadaaada

I See we are over run with Julies who'd have thought? - Copt I was convinced you were an Ermintrude <ducks>

No sign of Rupert today - I hope he's OK and thawed out.

Hope everyone is having a good sunday - more snow forecast here - and its just starting to fall now.

DD had a good time last night - it was very successful, - was an uber posh do full of local dignitaries, and they were plied with food and drink, Mr Opera singer went around saying what a fab accompanist DD is and a brilliant sight reader (also he had a bit of a moment where he forgot some of his words and DD covered for him in her playing). So hopefully she'll get some more gigs with him.

Many Happy Returns Mr Ned, - hope there is plenty of cake for the trolley

I'm using DH's notebook as my laptop is making the most hideous noise, its very dinky but seems to have a lot of extra keys which I don't have on mine, which has confused my poor old brain, I keep typing \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ when I want to press shift!

Waving to SR -<admires umbrella>

love to all

At you all being overcome with the Holy Spirit !

Julie is obv as common as muck if you are all named it .....
<ducks , runs , giggles>

If you could choose your own name today , what would you pick ?

Just back from visiting HND
She is looking so much better , although she has developed a rather alarming hump on her back
She is bored and wants to come home , which I take as a very good sign .
Hopefully discharged on Tuesday .

KK We do indeed run everywhere, always late for everything but our penitence is real, and underneath our wimples we have curlers in our hair, it's a problem .........

I have a feeling these Julies wouldn't last a minute in the abbey, but we are also good at looking gorgeous whilst sledging, with Omar Sharif............ Somewhere my love, dah da da dah dah dah....

Sounds like DD had an amazing experience and that Mr Opera was lucky to have her.

Topsy Glad to hear hnd on the mend.

Why does everyone keep mentioning ducks

Ooh yes, Dr Zhivago. Love that film. Must dig it out and bore DH with it. We were gorgeous in that, Copt.

Julie is dead common, or used to be though no-one seems to name girls it anymore. Not sure what I'd be called if I had a choice. Will ponder..

Hooray for HND being bored. Tell her we'll make extra room for her hump on the sofa.

Kurri, your DD's v.clever. Will she get more work from it? Did she bring any crumbs back from the posh people's table for you?? <holds out plate, hopeful>

Wonder how AtoZ is now? Are you okay out there??

Final snowball fight in the dark just finished, so DS in bed and I'm knackered. I shrieked like a glrl when DH got one down my neck. Whole street must have heard.

dd is a star kk !
Not sure what I'd like to be called really - Thea is nice (prob. because it's like Theo)

My name was unusual til it was used a couple of years later for a kid in one of the 70s sitcoms. To make up she gave my sis a name that is both unspellable and unpronounceable.

I could barely think of a name for mini gig let alone another for me .

Feeling bit better tonight but not looking forward to Tuesday. Good luck tomorrow tipsy

Kurri that's ace about dd concert.

What are bets school is off tomorrow copthall?

Just checking in . Not dealing with this wait well and the paranoia is fighting its way out.

I just want my surgery done. Soon. I want my treatment to be done soon and I want to get rid of the cancer and get on with my life with my family.

Sorry bit ranty there.

No point in not being ranty- I would have been the same if it had hhappened to me.
Am not going to say a week will make no odds really to cancer (it won't) as I know it's the operation an just getting on that is bothering you.

I think cabin fever is setting in. Friends all seem to have colds / bugs so not seen anyone much all week. The weather is not good for walks.

I was all prepared for last week and the impact of the cancellation is sinking in. It had better not happen again.

Apologies, will resume trying to be cheerful and coping soon.

Don't beat yourself up pen - I have no doubt that you will feel cheerful and cope again but ATM things are shitty so its ok to feel like that.

Am having a wobbly day myself- doesn't help that have got a mindset of if I am really worried It must mean bad news as I remember how worried I was before scan where it had spread.

Topsy - candle lit here x

Is it Topsy's results day?? Candle lit here too then. xx

Gig, how long before you have your results? Am here to distract as much as you need. I don't know how it works with you, but imagine no change is a good outcome and any change bad? Hope you don't mind me asking, but I seem to remember when it was me finding people not asking weird. Tell me to shut up though obviously.

Pen, moan, rant as much as you want. Must be horrid waiting. Are you keeping busy? Expect you're finding it v.hard to concentrate.

MAS when's your appt? Is it tomorrow? How much snow have you got? Lots here now, but I think you have even more.

Not much going on here apart from work. for anyone who wants one.

Thanks smee- appt tomorrow at 2. Yes no change (or even, too much to hope for shrinking ) is good - movement or change not good. And I don't mind talking about it here or indeed in rl as helps to acknowledge that am nervous.

Part of paranoia is shoulder pain -I know cause and have it for ages but when the pain refers (ESP down front of my chest) I get nervous. Doesn't happen if I sit up straight etc but am prone to slumping.

Mas are you able to drive easily now?

Thanks smee- appt tomorrow at 2. Yes no change (or even, too much to hope for shrinking ) is good - movement or change not good. And I don't mind talking about it here or indeed in rl as helps to acknowledge that am nervous.

Part of paranoia is shoulder pain -I know cause and have it for ages but when the pain refers (ESP down front of my chest) I get nervous. Doesn't happen if I sit up straight etc but am prone to slumping.

Mas are you able to drive easily now?

Shoulder's due to mini-gig, am sure. I'd bet 9 out of 10 mothers get it. I know I did. Though obviously paranoia's where your mind goes. Be so brilliant if shrinking's the outcome. I will vibe for that and keep doing so until you're back tomorrow.

Even without mets I anxt. Currently have a sharp on/off pain in my breast. I think it's due to the capsular contraction round my implant, but still makes my mind race. Had it before Christmas and it went so I doubt it's anything sinister, but still. Bloody cancer. grr...

It just completely changes your mind set. Even with mets not all of it is cancer but I find myself angsting about everything.

Going to try to crack on with some ou stuff .

And yes shoulder is due to slumping posture as lost muscle on that side and lie/roll/hold mini gig on this side. Fact mini gig could play prop for England babies doesn't help .

at mini Gig as Prop. Keep busy then. Not easy, but at least it passes the time.

Morning All

Hugs to Pen and Gigs
And thanks for all the candles .
Apt at 2.30 (I think , must dig out my letter ...)

Snowing away here .
Hoping roads will be ok this afternoon

Who's manning the breakfast trolley ?
I feel the need for crumpets and butter .

thinking of both topsy and gig xxxx
Have support group on Wednesday which I hope won't be cancelled and then appointment on Friday...am walking to town shortly so will assess roads etc, and later am collecting Sophie so will see how it is further beyond town centre. Am sure,if it doesn't snow agin here,it will be ok to drive.
Am sitting on the box for everyone in need.

Crumpets being buttered for you, Topsy. I am addicted to them with marmite sloshed into the butter. mmm... Will have everything crossed at 2.30 xx

Have a nice walk, MAS. Was lovely taking DS to school today. Not too slippy, and nice crunchy snow for him to hurl at me.

T afraid of slipping on the ice- he is a very cautious boy ! I will put my wellies on I think.

Also sitting on the box, and sending hugs to Pen and Gig - waiting and worrying is so horrible. Candles and massively good vibes for topsy - we will all be thinking of you sweetie.

DD did not bring back any crumbs for us - most disappointing. She was greeted at the door of the do with champagne, and then given a meal - but unfortuntley she couldn't drink much as she thought it might affect her palying later! (and apparently Mr Opera was v.nervous and downing a bit of dutch courage, so she felt one of them should be sober ), and she'd eaten before she left 9not knowing food was on offer) but she did eat the meal (which was butternut squash tart for veggies, and some sort of gateaux ). She had to sit next t her old headmaster from school (apparently something big in Rotary or one of those things) he kept putting his arms round her and basically taking credit for her talent - even though she says he clearly didn't have a clue who she was

I'm enjoying the vision of England Babies, with MiniGig launching herself into a scrum

My yoga was cancelled due to weather, - supposed to be having my hair cut tomorrow and going to a committee meeting in the evening - not sure if either will be doable.
MAS - hope your support group goes ahead, and chemo on Friday. This weather is a pain now!

Have done something to my back so I'm hobbling around in the gnome position. Old age strikes again.

love to all x

For some reason I confuse Julie Christie with Marianne Faithful - although they are not at all alike. Julie was in Far from The Madding Crowd IIRC, - with the lovely Alan Bates (who made another Hardy series near where we live, and my dad, who was a magistrate at the time, had to fine him for speeding!)

A difficult few days, thinking of you all, Topsy today, gigs tomorrow, gigs it is normal to worry, not a portent. Even with all the reassurance and clear check ups I have had I am currently having neck paranoia, which makes normal nodes into lumps, it is totally ridiculous but it is where friend had her recurrence and so I can't stop myself reaching up for another probe. They should list paranoia as a side effect of Cancer, the one that keeps on and on. Hips very creaky too but I am sure that is using normally unused muscles to stay upright in the snow! Aw bless mini gig, when does she make her first appearance up the road, England under 21s months. Now that would be cute , baby Rugby! Poor DD2 still a bit of a prop forward, all her life she has been a head taller and bigger built than her peers, plus with the most stunning eye catching hair, not what a teen wants at all so she doesn't notice that actually she is gorgeous, though "you would say that Mum, it's your job" School did open today, just had call to say she is too "frail" to walk home

pen I'd be bloody ranting, although Dr Geek suggested a fortnight away before surgery to relax You went through all the nerves and had nearly got it over with and the you find you have to do it all again and as you say you just want this thing out of your body, and out of your life. There was a book doing the rounds when I was diagnosed titled I haven't space in my diary for cancer or something similar. Plus ranting is good if that is how you feel.

Also thinking of atoz and hnd

MAS Hope support group meets, glad it is something you look forward to. My lot were like lovers, when we couldn't meet we emailed and phoned!

Waves to everyone else, smee work? would a spoonful of sugar help?!

Sending good vibes to Topsy, Pen and Gigs. I'm working at home so have caught up with a few posts.

Pen - my friend who's an onc nurse told me that my (snow) delay of 2 weeks wouldn't make any difference to my BC so I decided to believe her. Have to say I was with a bunch of motley assorted patients once I did get onto the ward as lots of folk had been snow-delayed and I was in funny old crowd - when I retire I intend to write a play based on my experiences! Hang on in there and keep distracting yourself if possible.

I have a dear friend who is very ill now. She had BC, got over that and then only a couple of years later developed a NEW primary in the pancreas- rotten luck. Even with a porr prognosis she still gets out and about doing lots of things - I take my hat off really. We rely on e-mail a lot but I'm going to London next week for work so am pleased I'll be able to visit.

I know that having mets would make me very anxious - I can only I do think of you all on here, even if I don't post very much now just due to being at work.

I am finding that full time work tires me out these days although remain very proud that I haven't had a day off sick since returning after BC over 2 years ago. Mind you this awful flu bug is flooring a lot of stalwart colleagues so I'd better not speak too soon.

Ah the beautiful Julie Christie.Lovely to look at - whatever one's feminist credentials. Did anyone see the interview when she described how difficult it is to be beautiful as people just can't see past your face to talk to the peron underneath and take them seriously? Not many could have done that interview w/o seeming extremely vain but she managed and it was a new take on the matter for plain old me!!

Just flying off with my umbrella now- back to work. The Mary Poppins songs haven't stuck in my head like the Sound of Music tho.

Am in waiting room
To coin a phrase that I stole off a thread I was reading last night ... <frightwee>

Eek topsy. Go and have a good look in aibu

Oh Topsy but the last few minutes are the worst , try a Doris Day impersonation "What will be will be" Cliches come in very useful at these times.

Or a bit of soft rock or even rap- I ain't going out like that by cypress hill to fortify yourself.if you are wearing your pc plum hat you could turn it round to get the rap look (as well as odd looks from others around you).

Hth

sending vibes right now topsy I like frightwee

Cypress Hill
Am in consulting room
No doc yet ...

2013 is the year for retro music like 2012 was for orange rappers delight

Vibe-ing from here too. I like frightwee. Definitely sums it up. xx

The scans , they are clear !!!
No change from last time

(Rappers Delight is DDs fave song !!!)

Oh wow. THAT IS FANTASTIC!! You are so very clever, Topsy. Unique as ever.

Fankyou Smee
<blushes , twirls hair round finger>

Onc brought student in with her to "share my uniqueness"

So what next? Are you signed off until next CT? What's the timescale?

I bet you are high as a kite now Topsy the worse the <frightwee> the better the high!

Now the wind is in the right direction for gigs , we Mary Poppins's, we knows these things (though why we are suddenly talking like Dick Van Dyke I don't know)

hooray for clear scans topsy, and your uniqueness, that's brilliant - unique is hospital talk for weird

I like frightwee -talking of which, and lowering the tone, I seem to be weeing about ten times more than normal atm - no pain or anything, just quantities of wee, maybe its the cold weather <pulls on knitted pants>

SR - Like the lovely Julie C, being too beautiful has been a problem for me all my life also

Yay for topsy some celabratory not quite rap

That is brilliant .

Arf at kurri lowering the tone.

Yes , tomorrow is Gigs day !
I decree it must be good

Would anyone care to join me in a celebration of my weirdness uniqueness with a small libation ?
<note to self - no hunting for drunk food at 1 am again >

Ha! Have mental image of gigs dragging herself to Consultants reeking of alcohol and throwing up after trying the delights of the kebab shop at the end of Clifden Road at 3am (often identified by DDs as the cause of being sick the next day ) after being led astray celebrating with Topsy

Topsy will have fat coke ready tomorrow.

KK smee and I share your pain, Such beauty is indeed a burden and that Omar Sharif and Terrence Stamp were real pests, don't even get me started on Warren Beatty (not that I would anyway)

Hurray for topsy that's brilliant!
I went sledging in my lunch hour and didn't break anything . Been snowing all day so stayed at home and have done some work.

Hurray for topsy that's brilliant!
I went sledging in my lunch hour and didn't break anything . Been snowing all day so stayed at home and have done some work.
Heard that coke full fat and sugar free is prescribed for digestive blockages - apparently a mix of the acid and bubbles is good for the guts!

Oh sledging sounds fun jchoc.

Hopefully we can do a tomorrow. Personally I prefer a nice curry in one of the more flea ridden artisan local places- there is one on Twickenham green that often has rats running round the door.

At daughters excuses- I had a uni mate who once swore it was the opal fruits he had eaten before bed not the 8 pints he had.

Topsy- forgot to ask if hnd has a parole release date?

And for mas for reminding me about gbbo tonight. That should help pre appt nerves.

Oh bake off - well done for reminders, - I had forgotten.

I will partake of a little <posh> to toast young topsy.

Sledging sounds fun jchoc, - have you got hills near you? - Norfolk is flat as a pancake and the men all marry their sisters

Kurri's married to her brother?! Will definitely need a drink now.

No on else would marry me Smee

fabbest news topsy - medics will be writing papers on you I'll be bound. Will definitelt be having a small sherry to celebrate and to wish gig well tomorrow
Walked Sophie home with her holding my arm so I didn't slip on the ice..we went to the toy shop and admired the Sylvanians as usual.

WOO HOO! for great news topsy well done, you marvellous woman

I had my first proper haircut of post-chemo fluff today. Very satisfying

Spoke to Dr Lovely on the phone today and she said how proud she was of me getting back to work and coping OK. May possibly have made me a little tearful Have been brave and not made another appointment to see/ speak to her - hopefully now I have counselling in place (seeing him tomorrow) I won't have to rely on her so much. She said I could ring/ email any time though, so I don't feel like I've been abandoned at all.

arf at Kurri married to her brother! Of course being as beautiful as you are is a burden, I can see that. . . what a cross you have to bear. . .

gig loving the image of minigig in an England babygro scrumming down (DS had one when he was a few months old with his name on the back - he looked completely edible in it!) Got everything crossed for tomorrow for you love x x

MAS sorry about lack of cheque - am crap. Have written and will put in post tomorrow, I promise. Am going to see baby F tomorrow, so will let you know (MAS did beautiful baby name card for my friend's new baby)

Waves to everyone - please, all, take care if you are in snowy parts x x x

oh ned don't fret- am so hopeless I'd forgotten about cheque !!

HUGE HOORAY for Topsy! And again for Ned's fluff-styling - that's quite a milestone!

Ooh Ned I need to go for defluffing
My noggin makes me look like a slightly deranged person !

Have we got hills near us? Well, if I say the local canal is famous for the 5 rise and 3 rise locks which are within sight of each other, that gives you an idea. Although we say we are in the valley, actually we are some distance above the river and there are some good slopes down to the river in the park ;)

Yay for de-fluffing Ned and being brave coping without Dr Lovely for the mo.

Has everyone invested in overshoe spikes or yaktrack thingys? If it gets icy I'll be wearing mine all the time... Our road has about an inch of compacted snow so we won't be moving the car for a month for a while...

JChoc - I haven't invested in those ice shoes - but do wonder if I should. Are they good - do they stay on OK?

jchoccchip I think the village I grew up in may be somewhere up in the hills above you, unless there is another 5 rise locks somewhere. No shortage of hills for father to hare up and down in manner of crazed Stirling Moss- to drive over wherever you wanted to go. Excellent sledging I must say --A&E always busy when it snowed

feels the net is closing in and may be outed as not looking a bit like Julie Christie

Agh! the strike through went on the rampage.

Getting lots of facebook pics of everyone cut off up there, looks very pretty.

Ned For my first defluffing I booked into very expensive French hairdresser, since I had saved so much money in the previous months , not counting the ludicrous ly expensive wig, and also I was absolutely livid it had not come back my usual shade of dirty Julie Christie blonde. He could of course done what he wished with me providing it was in a French accent but he sort of shaved it very short up the sides, cut the top so it stood on end and bleached the ends. It was the sort of thing muppet.wikia.com/wiki/Beaker but bleach blonde. I don't think Julie C ever went for that look but I loved it. It was like "When I am old I will wear purple" but more "When I have got rid of Cancer I'll look completely mad" It is satisfying though, a landmark.

Yes - I am beginning to suspect I am the only one who genuinely looks like Julie Christie - here is a recent photo of me - I think I was just off to get my shopping at Lidl when that was taken.

ned - the first defluffing is a cause for celebration - I'm getting my spiky mess chopped tomorrow - my hair is two inches long on top and sticks straight up, -v.attractive.

jchoc - I think those ice shoes look good - I saw a few people wearing them when I was out the other day.

x-posted copt - Beaker from the Muppets - that is my exact hairstyle atm.

Kurri, you look mighty glam when you go shopping.

Yay for hair, Ned. And hooray for Dr Lovely too. He does always sound rather wonderful.

Gig, am still on the box for you. Hope you're okay xx

Pen, are you okay-ish? Feel free to rant all the way to Thursday if it helps.

Wonder if Topsy's drunk yet? Bet she is. Good job HND's still in hospital or it would be riotous.

my hair when it grew back

KK You are trying to pass yourself off as me That is actually my current hairstyle nothing sticks up these days, too lank

though rest of me more muppet.wikia.com/wiki/Miss_Piggy

Am doing ok smee but have dodgy tummy so trying to work out what I can eat that wont make it worse.

<wonders how kk got that pic of me ?>

at tummy, Gigs. Do you think it's nerves?

Wow great news topsy ! Really pleased to hear that.

I am just feeling sorry for myself today. Freezing cold . Broke. Have cancer. Great start to the year.

Smee .... Snigger !
shit your photo looks scarily like me

Copt - wish I looked half as good as Miss Piggy

You looked lovely in that police hat

Gigs <rubs poorly tummy>
<proffers wine> <takes wine back and proffers diarolyte>

Think it could well be part of it plus tail end of whatever made me feel poorly at the weekend. I don't even feel like wine

Pen shitty start to the year indeed .
But it can only go up from here xxx

Yep- if you bleached your hair topsy, you could be yazz and sing that to her.

Had to give police hat back Gigs
Some guff like "regulations miss" ...

I DO want to go blonde this time .
Went purple after hair grew back last time .
Never been a proper blonde before .
Trouble is , I keep taking pics of blonde hair that I like on randomers and I think the police might contact me soon ....

<yes , am fast approaching drunk>

Nooooooooooo !
Fecking sky gone down again .
Damn you snow !!!

You will be damning it even more if there is a snow day tomorrow when there is no sky, 2 kids and a hangover.

Noooooooooooo !
Gigs you are a little ray of sunshine !

Promise I will try and be nicer tomorrow post appt.
am just grumpy as dont fancy a drink or food.

Think I have to go in to work tomorrow, dd has exam in the morning so she has to go in, too. Hope it is not too snowy and the trains run on time... May go and look for some
And I made a cake yesterday with parsnip in, and it is surprisingly scrummy
Topsy our telly has lost its colour balance, and everything looks green.

Am lusting after Laurence Fox in Lewis , upstairs in bed
Pig/dog is snoring on the bed beside me . I keep having to turn the volume up as he's getting louder !

You can be as grumpy as you like Gigs , I shall just carb load tomorrow when I am hungover and the kids are stuck at home with me .
<sob>

Cake with parsnip ???
Is it covered in choklit ?

Who fancies making me a fried egg sandwich ?

No one ?
Humphs
Goes to bed

Aw Topsy I'd have made you a fried egg sandwich

The cake also has two overripe bananas and some dates and sultanas and no chocolate. The one my friend made last week following a recipe (!) had a cream cheese based topping so same idea as carrot cake...

gigs I had a friend who had to give up a career as a barrister because everytime she had to speak up in court she shat herself got a dodgy tummy with the nerves.

Annoying not to be able to comfort eat and drink, do you have any other comforts? Baths? Things are actually a bit volcanic here this evening so maybe something is going around, all I eat earlier today was Mushrooms on toast (Reubens or maybe it is Reuben's fault ) .

jchocchip beetroot also makes a surprisingly nice cake, and courgettes, and of course they are 1 of your 5 a day So is it the same hills as I used to roam as a girl in my wimple?

Topsy Sadly no one can take the place of John Thaw, he lulled you into a state of contentment, in spite of the bodies all around......

It could well be nerves but do think something ia going around as have felt dodgy on and off since Saturday.
Lewis is recorded for tomorrow but midsomer is also on which is something to look forward to post appt.

copt If it is the same hills you would have been able to see the chimney of the famous thermal underwear factory. Is that a clue?

Is snow going to make your trip to school/work tricky today jchoc or is it easing?

Somewhat disturbed night due to tummy- how long does loperamide take to work? For those that want it.

Morning Gigs
What time is your apt ?
Handholding from me .

Snow Day here .
DDs school definitely closed .
No word yet on DS , but I'm keeping him off as snow really bad here .
DH presently outside attempting to dig his car out of the driveway .
Because Ofcourse his company , and very likely the global economy , will grind to a halt if he doesn't make it in.

2pm- just taken drugs so can get in without loo stops I hope.

Dh would probably have felt less responsible for the economic upturn if Sky was working.

hand holding here from me too gig

Got a spare hand here too gig Thinking of you lots today x x x x x x x x x

gigs I was thinking of you last night as I tossed and turned with explosive tummy on top of usual sweatiness. Hope your tummy is now dormant. Everything crossed for later.

DH similarly entirely responsible for continuing functioning of the global economy, apart from when the Rugby is on, funny that. (Actually not funny, I worry the stress and long hours will kill him and he doesn't have a reliable spare as a parent to his children to allow him to risk that)

jchocchip Couldn't actually see the chimney from our village, we were further up on t'moors, that was the bright lights, with a Library! and a Swimming Pool! I spent my teenage years roaming the moors looking for Heathcliff, so much more interesting than the local boys and there wasn't much else to do It is beautiful up there, I miss it, though I hated it, and that wretched last bus at 10.30, as a teenager. The snow is bad, never known so many people snowed in!

Hooray my internet is back. Just need to get Sky sorted as at the moment we only have 1 working TV as apparently the connection that sends the signal around the house is broken. My goodness my weekend has been long without any distractions.

Huge good luck vibes for you today gigs also hope your dodgy tummy is a bit better.

Have missed so much and trying to catch up but know that I have been thinking of you all. I did spot on Facebook wonderful news from topsy - excess amounts of wine must be the way to go .

Hope everyone stays warm today. I have to brave the elements and go for my MRI. Just hope I don't make a fool of myself and fall on the way to the bus. Feeling very nervous as this will hopefully give the answer to the query about the liver and bone mets.

It is good to be back.

<waves like loon at Gracie >
Good to see you back .
Good luck with the MRI , when do you get the results ?

Think I need choklit now ...

<waves back at topsy> Not sure when the results will be back. Hopefully onc will contact me next week as I need my echo results before they will give my my next Herceptin which is due next Friday. Hope you are having a good day with your kiddies. Mine are all at school thankfully

Tons of luck gracie - it will be noisy so ask them to put music on.

Feeling very washed out and nervous

waving to gracie !

Thank you .

Just had a call that DS rugby cancelled . He played yesterday and was like a drowned rat.

Is your appointment today as well mas?

Lots going on today then, if it's you too MAS. Thinking of you and Gracie and of course you Gig. Candle burning bright for you. x

Pen, not long to go now. How are you today??

Haven't heard from AtoZ for a few days now. Hope she's okay. Are you out there AtoZ? Let us know how you are if you're up to it.

Topsy, when's HND out? Surely soon? She's been in for ever.

Snow's half ice, half slush here. Bit bored of it now so don't mind if it goes. Not much going on. Less paranoid though, as connected chest/ breast aching with sledging. D'oh..!

nope - not me today...
Am going out soon in car,should be ok as main road and A3 -got to buy new pens and things for my mum's birthday...

Rushing in to say Good luck Gigs - will be thinking of you gorgeous girl xx

Good luck to gracie for MRI, and massive hugs for nerves xx

handholding for you both.

lots of love to everyone who is waiting for appointments, tests, ops, etc.

MAS - DD says thanks for the e-mail - she liked it

My art club committee meeting has been cancelled tonight - thank goodness because the country roads are awful still.

Have had my hair snipped short - I am no longer Beaker, - more of a nailbrush

Old lady dog found a bag of dog biscuits in my bag while I wasn't looking and has helped herself to quite a few! Now she's fallen asleep by the radiator to take the weight off her stomach.

Have to say one very unwelcome result of kids being off school here and out on the street, - one of our friends has been abused by a group of kids on her way home from work each night - racist abuse, - little shits! Can you report that to the police?

Oh and love to HND - where is she? - surely not still incarcerated? - hope you are recovering well if you are reading this HND if you are still in hospital is it so you don't have to see so much of topsy?

KK racist language and verbal abuse is indeed taken very seriously by the police , and bloody rightly so !
Tell your friend to give her local station a ring or give me directions and let me at them

babababababa baaaaaah
<drumroll>
HND is being picked up from the hospital right now !!!!
I have her DC here whilst DH goes and gets her . And her eldest has just said to me that the first thing he wants to do with her when she gets home is have a snowball fight with her !!!

Pig/dogs treats are kept in the same cupboard as the coffee . So the other day I took the coffee out , took it over to the work top , made coffee , turned around to put coffee back .
Found pig/dog shoulder deep in the cupboard , munching !!!
He got sent straight to the naughty step

Yay for HND getting out at last

I will tell my friend to tell the police, I definitely think she should, - I think she tends towards 'I'll just ignore it. it happens' but obviously it is upsetting and utterly shitty even if they are kids - maybe they should get a fright from the police to stop them doing it again. (It is mindless 'why don't you go back to China/Japan' etc. - wherever they try to guess she is from, - She's tried telling them she's British actually, but they are pig ignorant, and not open to discussion or factual information!

Poor pig-dog - he must have been staaaaaaaaarving like old lady dog<sad look>

For hnd and for me as all clear so off the hook for 3 months. Specialist nurse was there who said I was tough as old boots.

Have macaroons for trolley as not sure i dare risk them yet.

Thanks tons for handholding and support.

Also saw another nurse who was very positive about mets treatment.

WOO HOO and gig I am LURVING all the good news this week! Sounds like you've had a positive experience today then? Well done love

Also WOO HOO for HND breaking out. Am sure you'll feel good to be in your own bed. Sending you lots of love. Will be great to see you back!

Sort of snow falling here, but not settling. Been raining most of the day so hopefully the blasted white stuff will soon be gone. Fingers crossed!

Sending love to all x x x x x Anyone for a ? Have malt loaf too if anyone wants a quick snack

for Gig!! That must be a mahoosive relief. Does that mean no change then? Am guessing so. Brilliant to go to hospital and have a positive experience for once. I think the scales have tilted your way.

(((((gentle hugs for HND)))))))) Crawl back on the sofa with us and tell us all. Hope the DC aren't too brutal with the snowballs.

Pigdog and Little Old Lady Dog are joined on naughty step by dopey cat here. Came in yesterday to find mushrooms all over the floor. Some half eaten, others used for footballs.

Means mets got smaller (dh told
Me this as i sat with my hands over my ears ). And yes it was positive- even got onc to refer me for genetic screen as almost sure it's not genetic but want to make sure for the little gigs. My real father died young of cancer so is a big what if in my mind.

At naughty animal stories. I miss my pets- my cat once ate through my birthday cake then spat it out as didn't like it which made it seem worse.

Aaw Gigs that's fantastic news !
<ponders opening another bottle>

Brilliant news Gig - for you tonight my lovely.

at cat playing mushroom football - what with miniGig and her baby rugby we've had all the extreme sports on here this week

OL dog always begs for pieces of satsuma, on and on whining until you give in, then she instantly spits it on the floor and you get the 'what the hell have you given me this for?' look !

Are you working tomorrow ned? is your school open?

Gig, wheee!!!!!!!!!!!!

Gig, shrunk?! Wow that's even more amazing. Topsy's uniqueness must be rubbing off. You haven't secretly been snorted over by Pigdog have you? We all know about his healing paws.

kurri god, I hope my school will be shut but I can't see it happening. I have just texted my head teacher to say the weather is foul and to be prepared for me not coming in tomorrow, but I'll decide in the morning. I am feeling really anxious about having to make a decision in the morning if school is open I just feel that school will not compensate me or pay my increased insurance premiums if I crash my car, but if it's fine round school, people might think I am a fraud. I live about 35 minutes drive from school btw.

Don't know what to do for the best

Don't feel anxious - I wouldn't risk it and don't think it's reasonable to expect it.

Anyone seen this q and a.

hooray for great and really fab news gig !!!!!
And yay for hnd coming home - wine all round !
about racist little gits

Oh Ned - I hope it's closed, - but don't take any risks - tell them you haven't been though cancer treatment only to have a car accident <this is officially known as 'playing the cancer card' and is to be used freely )>

at pig-dog's mystical healing paws.

agree with kk there ned

Yes, KK's wise, Ned. You've done so, so well to go back. They should be amazed by you, and am sure they are.

Kurri, best thing my mate told me about racist abuse was she turned round and smiled and said 'it's okay to be jealous'. Shut them up if only momentarily. Little gits don't deserve wry humour though. I think she should call the police too.

am desperately hoping the secondary support group is still on tomorrow...

Fantastic news gigs xx

Is snow bad round your way still mas?

Can someone drink my. For me

Pen how you doing?

Just tip your glass into my pelican-beak-like mouth Gig

Pig/dog is very pleased at all this praise .
And he says he will run one to one healing paw sessions for very reasonable dog biscuits rates ...

He also does the satsuma thing

Perhaps we could go on pilgrimage to see him?

Watching gbbo- the biscuits were minging.

You still got your dodgy stomach, Gig? <holds out glass in case Kurri drops some>

Pigdog deserves more than dog biscuits, surely.

MAS, is it still snowing there? You must be sick of it.

Yes- think its a bug. I will spare you tmi. Not to want food or wine is most unlike me.

Pig/dog days he is setting up his own religion and we must all call him Sauron from now on .

I told him to be quiet as I'm watching Holby ...

Yay for gig and well done to hnd being sprung.

Heck that was a long day.
copt I do indeed live in the bright lights with the library and Swimming pool my second home I live about 4 mins walk across the park from the pool so you could prob find my house on google (outs self) I work all over the villages and the rather posh town with the lido and the moors are indeed beautiful at the mo. Hope I don't regret changing jobs and going desk bound from mid Feb...
Watching death in paradise...

gigs gets good news too! Shrinkage! Sorry you can't celebrate, my tummy is still revolting as well, very noisy about it too..... and the biscuits were minging, in fact everything the celebs attempt is, and they are not even funny. Being grumpy though as have secret crush on Sue Perkins <Am I gay?>

Gracie it's definitely going the right way ....

Topsy Just tell Pig dog / Sauron that if he won't shut up and stop disturbing your TV viewing with his plans for world domination then we'll send in the eagles.

Definitely terrible forces at work in Middle Earth though with all these misbehaving animals Goon dog's slide into middle aged delinquency started before Christmas when he stole the carving dish off the kitchen table. My fault really because I usually give him the dish to lick after we have finished with it, but I left it on the table, and strangely he did not follow me to the living room. Two hours later there was a huge crash, clearly he had been staring at the dish for two hours before finally the temptation was too much. It's all gone downhill from there, chops nicked off plates if you pop out of the room, boxes of Rowntrees (including box and wrappers), sitting and watching you fixedly as you eat just in case you let down your guard....

KK Does your friend know what school they go to, might be an idea to tell school as well as police. Police will warn them, could prosecute them but school can hopefully educate them. Otherwise we should send in Sauron and the eagles.....

jchocchip rather posh town with the lido and the moors and Betty's! Betty's cakes and hot chocolate for the trolley please next visit! My village was t'other direction, on't way to Lancashire but now I rarely get to visit as my parents are properly posh now and live north of the even posher town than the rather posh one, the one with TWO Betty's.

Gig- am very happy bout your news!

i have a smelly cat here biting my arm so have to go,

<gets confused with all the posh towns>
<very easily confused these days>
<dons new robes as am now Saurons Minion>

<hides all maps of really posh and rather posh towns oop north from Sauron's minions to protect parents and jchocchip>

<sends in eagles>

My cat just seems to sleep all the time at the mo when not eating TWO Bettys is greedy, tho now you mention it I haven't had a fat rascal for a while! Is the 2 Bettys Town the one with the Turkish baths? I was thinking of that the other day.

We did live in a village up the hill for a while before we moved here - think 2 pubs 1 school, Give me another clue to your old village copt

wish we had a Betty's
All hail to his eminence Sauron - perhaps you could send out snippets of his fur ?
Snow still on the ground - but no apparent fall overnight. Think ds is hoping for a day off as he was very excited by huge snowflakes blizzarding about yesterday evening - I told him not to be so joyful as I might not get to my support group, so he kindly said he'd support me if I couldn't go.

As that is nice mas- hope you can make it.

Tummy a bit easier but think I may stay here rather than go to my therapy appt as dont want to stray too far from home . Dh reckons I got it from line in hospital again as felt ill day after.

Mini gig is kindly offering up to suarion bits of toast and porridge she doesn't fancy.

Morning all. All our local schools say they are open. And I'm on the bus so the roads aren't that bad. Hope your group is on mas but at T.
No milk in the shop so hope the little I have left at work is ok!

poor gig - stay in the warm and hope tummy feels better soon.

Sauron graciously accepts all offerings from the mini gigs , and would like you all to know he is open to bribery ...

Mas I hope your group is on today .

Gigs <passes cork for poorly botty>

Sigh
Blardy heating has refused to come on today .
We have a foot and a half of fecking snow out there , and the bastard heating chooses today to stop working .
Aaaaaaaaaaaaargh !!!

It seems to happen on days like that.. We had new boiler about a year ago as old one packed up at first sign of sub zero temperature. Is sky still off?

kurri I have taken your example and had a rant about ridiculous posts where people don't follow advice.

Sauron will always be pig dog to me. Brrr on heating. Ours did that yesterday, but for some reason it re-booted. Have you got a plumber on way??

MAS, how sweet of DS to say that. What's happening? Is school on? Is Group on?

There's a stomach bug going round, Gig. DS had a day off last week with it. Not nice and lingers, so take care. Hope you're feeling a bit more spring-like today though after scan news.

Jane, hope the bus got you to work. Bit treacherous on the streets here. Ice everywhere, though snow mostly gone.

What's happening with you, Ned? I have a feeling she's gone to work as no postings.. Hope you made it okay xx

on here for anyone who wants one. Pen are you ready for tomorrow? Can't believe you'll be bumped again, as they do seem to do their utmost not to. What time do you have to be in?

Sky working , thank goodness .
I can cope with no heating , but not no tv

DH has a plumber he knows (through work) and he (DH) dropped the gem as he swanned out to his nice warm work this morning that plumber man was boasting yesterday that he's fully booked for the next 3 weeks !!!!!

And the snow has started again here !!!

On other news , I am next door in HNDs house keeping warm her company .
Fairly good nights sleep was had .
District nurse here now .

Have I told you all ?
I HATE SNOW !!!!!!

Give hnd a hug from me(gently tho so as not to upset her wounds).
I can offer sauron some old rice cake and the remains of a packet of Pom bear.
Yes it is a relief smee- just feels like a small victory esp when this time lady year was such bad news. Sounds like my bug similar- I don't feel I'll, just grumbly upset tummy so very odd. Also so far seems to have escaped rest of family (although hard to tell with mini gig as she is fond of filling her nappy).

Going to try to ou work today- copthall the massive shoulder busting ref book I have is your fault.

is pen's op tomorrow ? loads of good thoughts to you,if it is x
Looks as though meeting is on,dh gone off to work and ds to school - no new snow.
topsy grr about heating - hope you can get it sorted pronto, or that it decides to behave.
Gentle welcome home hugs for hnd

spoke too soon, meeting cancelled due to snow - so am going to do some work and I can take T to his piano lesson.

Oh mas that is a shame.

Super news gigs so pleased for you re. your results.

aw mas that is a shame about your meeting.

pen good luck for tomorrow we shall be thinking of you.

No heating is dire topsy. I hope you get it sorted soon. Do we need to send you some emergency blankets? The snow has pretty much turned into thick ice here so not looking forward to the school/dancing run.

My mutt keeps pawing at my arm as he wants a walk. He has no chance.

MRI was ok. I may have taken a Diazapam before hand . 50 minutes is a long time to be strapped down. I just hope the results come through quickly as I feel very stressed about them.

Hope everyone is keeping warm and safe and hope you got to work safely ned. Waves to smee, kurri and anyone else lurking. Did we ever hear any word from pink? I often wonder how she was getting on.

Plumber here .
Thinks we might need a new pump .
Anyone know how much that might cost me ?
<wonders if he will give me discount for the molestation pig/dog/sauron subjected him to>

mas. Have they rescheduled it for soon? Hope so.

Haven't a clue on how much, Topsy but surely the healing paws of Sauron will win you a discount?

Hope HND's okay. Come natter with us soon xx.

Diazepam sounds like the way to go, Gracie. Have they not said when you'll get the results. That seems a bit cruel. Waiting must be crippling.

I think of Pink often too. I did pm her (a long while back now), but she never replied, so I guess we have to respect that. Pink if you are out there, come say hi if you're up to it. xx

Depend on boiler but think pumps are usually about £100 plus vat but need to add on fitting/call out.

MRI is the worst sort of scan but when you add in stress of what looking for and a wait its horrid. Gracie can you phone your nurse/dr and ask.

Smee that was kind- guess the offer is still there if she wants it. Personally I luff this thread but I know not everyone copes that way.

50 mins gracie ? yikes-and well done...
I guess the next meeting will be as scheduled on 20th Feb.

I would want a GA for 50 mins in an MRI machine Gracie !!!

Plumber done
New pump fitted
Boiler serviced
Still don't know how much as in the quaint way they do it in this country , when I asked he just said "oh I'll see you right"
He will give DH the bill when he sees him in work ...

2 1/2 hours was my longest MRI. My tip is if you are going to get cancer, don't get one where MRI are part of the test.

Great news about boiler

hooray about boiler !!
Can I ask you lovely ones to take a look at this ? www.justgiving.com/kinddog

"Oh I'll see you right" sounds ominous. What on earth have you offered him? but glad your boiler is fixed.

Waves to hnd hope you are recovering well and Topsy isn't bothering you is looking after you.

smee that was lovely of you. Hopefully one day she will come back to tell us how well she is doing.

They have a large sign in the MRI department stating 'please do not phone for your results' so I best wait until my onc calls. He has a habit of phoning on a Sunday. He phoned me the Sunday night before Christmas at 9.30 pm to wish me a happy Christmas .

Will check out your page this evening mas off to the school run/dance run now.

Afternoon all, sorry for poorly tummy Gig - hope you feel better soon.

MAS - shame your meeting was cancelled - will they reschedule it soon?

gracie -hope you don't have to wait long for results, but well done for getting through the MRI - they don't sound much fun at all.

Pen loads of love and luck for tomorrow xx

Adding my voice to good wishes and love to Pink - if you ever read this Pink, I think of you often xx

topsy - hooray for new boiler , to 'I'll see you right' - that could mean anything.

Our friend (who was abused by little shits) is reluctant to tell police, - although DH has been urging her too, she might tell the school though if she can find out which one it is. She and her Dh have sent us a bottle of their home brew - which looks dangerously strong - I may put some on the trolley (or I may just drink it all and fall over)

I braved yoga this morning. The room was freezing cold - air con on full for some reason .
Also met a woman there who lives in the next village to me, so I suggest she drops in for coffee. As we were leaving I give her my number and say 'hope you don't mind untidyness and dogs', she said 'I'm fine with untidyness, but not very keen on dogs' - so if she turns up, I'll have to either shove OL dog in another room where she will howl, or let her in and she will try to kiss the woman and sit on her lap and no doubt terrify her. Hmm - what to do? - Dress OL dog in a baby grow and say she is my grand daughter????

Oh - welcome home HND, home you are not feeling too delicate, and are not being disturbed by drunken choruses of 'Nelly Dean' from the house next door

I think she may have 'nelly deAn' in person as wasn't she visited by topsy until hearing fixed. She will have been happy to have a healing lick from sauron.

I may have to name change. Any thoughts or suggestions?

Gigs 2.5 hours? I would need serious drugs for 50 mins let alone 2.5 hours. My Hong Kong scans were the worst as they talked in Cantonese throughout and Cantonese is peppered with exclamations Aiyah! and intimations of doom, sentences that go really deep at the end finished by lah.. So it always sounded as if they were saying Oh No! This is bad..... when in fact they were probably talking about the weather.

Lots of turbulent tummy here today, DD2 also off with it now. Just had two slices of dry bread because I couldn't face putting anything on it, and yet it is as if I have been on a diet of beans, fried onions and artichokes for the last three days. Hope you feel better soon because then there is hope for us too

Gracie Everything recrossed for you.

Topsy Where are my eagles? You do realise that Sauron is the epitome of evil (though played by Benedict Cumbernatch in the nuddy in the Hobbit so he can't be all bad) and his minions end up looking like this lotr.wikia.com/wiki/Orcs?file=Orcs_-_Two_Towers.png. Goon dog looked just like this to me after he dug up my flower beds......Those of us who are the epitome of goodness and get to call in the eagles look like this [[http://images6.fanpop.com/image/photos/33000000/The-Hobbit-Movie-Poster-Galadriel-the-hobbit-33043600-649-960.jpg] Just saying. <tucks long flaxen locks behind pointy ears>

"I'll see you right" north of the Watford Gap is a good thing. If a southern plumber says "I'll see you right" be afraid , be very afraid ................

jchocchip I'll see your two pubs and I school and add in three large churches (CofE, Methodist and Baptist, for 3000 people! No wonder I can't shake this boring northern protestant ethic ), two mills and.....dah dah a viaduct. www.bradfordfacts.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/09/hewenden-viaduct-77887.jpg and a quarry ... That should narrow it down!

Mas Sorry about your support group, I hope it will be rearranged for soon. A good choice of charity, will give even if you sneak a few choccie bars

Oh yes HND - let Sauron at those stitches with his spiritual saliva

Why namechange GIg?

Tsk! Sauron messed up the link to my luminescent beauty images6.fanpop.com/image/photos/33000000/The-Hobbit-Movie-Poster-Galadriel-the-hobbit-33043600-649-960.jpg

And yeah to hnd for escaping and hope new boob all settled in.

Dss is applying for internship here. Not that I am particularly bothered about being traced but did wonder if should name change.

Copthall symptoms sound very similar- cant face banana in front of me for that reason. Hope it goes soon as its very dull .

will think of new name for gig
copt I promise I won't sneak any choc during Lent. Have just thought though- does sugar-free chewing gum count as sweeties ? I am fond of it as I think it keeps my teeth in order.

I think plumber means he won't take advantage of you topsy

jchocchip This school www.assetstorage.co.uk/AssetStorageService.svc/GetImageFriendly/720774763/700/700/0/0/1/80/ResizeBestFit/0/FRU/5FCF3D127DC594C67F4835E5DF71E9A0/cullingworth-school-photo-1963.jpg

Is it just me ?
Or dies Galadriel look like she's giving the finger in that pic ?

I thought that was point of photo- but know nothing of lord of rings (but am clearly an expert in flicking the bird).

I'm on the bus home - catch up properly later
copt you mean 2 schools now! - I was one village closer to where I am now. My dd2 did ballet in the village hall in the viaduct village and we went there to the shops (spar, chinesy) and to cycle along the viaduct now a sustrans route. Nice view from the top! My uncle by marriage came from that area too.

Phew just managed to recover from settng phone to chinese!

Hand holding to Pen for tomorrow
Hope it all goes smoothly for you this time x

Good thoughts for you tomorrow pen x

Bleurgh. . . Managed to get in to work OK, though it did take an hour and a quarter. Road closed due to flooding. Class were a bit manic today and new
planning format that we are now supposed to be using is slightly unwieldy to teach from and very complicated to manage, with different groups of kids rotating through different activities, so lots of movement. It takes such a lot of setting up and preparation, much more than old format. Feel like I've gone back a step or two today

Just wanted to pop in and wish pen all the best for tomorrow in case I don't make it on in the morning. Will have everything crossed for you lovely, and hope to goodness they don't bump you again. Be gentle to yourself and hurry back to us x x x

Heading for a bath and my bed. Lots of love t all x x

Have a good nights sleep Ned
Sounds like it was a loooong day !

Watching Africa
Wonder what will die this week and make me cry ?
Gotta stop doing this to myself

Coffee anyone ?
(I know , weird to see me without a wine glass in my hand eh ?)

Ned, I'd bet you haven't gone backwards at all. If you hadn't had cancer, but had a new age group/ class you'd be having these problems am sure. Bound to be tricky for you. Sleep well xx

Nipping in to say huge hugs for Pen. Will be thinking of you tomorrow. Hope they put you first on the list so you don't have to wait. x

Topsy without wine?

Two and a half hours gigs <wishes there was a faint smiley>. I would have needed gas and air.

Good luck pen for tomorrow.

mas I wouldn't class sugar free gum as a sweet, sure it's calorie free. We will scoff look after your sweets for you .

Hugs to you ned hope tomorrow is a better day.

Thanks tomorrow is the big day. At least I am going in at 7am so not as much time to fret. Just popped some codeine to make me sleep.

Ths thread has been a lifeline thanks so much for putting up with me.

I hope my next post will be after op is over not to tell you it is cancelled again. Do you think I need to cry to get temazepam again or will they just give it to me ?

Thinking of you Pen hope it all goes smoothly tomorrow.

just tell them how it helped last time pen - sleep well and will be thinking of you tomorrow.
ned you are doing brilliantly,don't feel you've gone back a step xxx

Loads of good thoughts for tomorrow Pen, hope everything goes really well for you, and you are home and recovering asap (and yes tell them you had temaz. last time and you need it again) xx

Tentative offering of here as tummy seems to be getting better.

Hope you are temazepam'ed up and on way to theatre pen- thinking of you x

Hope tummy is behaving with the gig

gigs (Flowering Jasmine tea) All seems calm here at the moment too, and DD has gone off to school. Last night DH decided I should try as a kill or cure, and I did feel much better

BTW don't blame me for the doorstop reference book, it is the weight of all that study over the centuries! You should have chosen a subject like mine, usually just a footnote in western history!!

Thinking of Pen, hope she got her drugs.

Very quiet on here today. Been on one of my epic train journeys for work, so to Cardiff and back. Was lovely to see all the snow from the window.

Just nipped on to see if there's any word from Pen. Am thinking no news is good news, as it must mean she's had her op. Fingers crossed she has and is propped up and comfy now. x

Good evening everyone and profuse apologies for my absence, the Internet signal and small type on phone was not conducive to joining in very much. I feel now I a home I am going to have more time to join in.

I got sprung on Tuesday which was day 15 in hospital. I am still leaking very badly from the large swelling under my arm frommthe front and back scars but it has to get out somehow and aspiration wasn't possible as it was described as a sponge effectbwherebthe fluid is all in the tissue and not a pool so to speak.

I have to see my lovely surgeon tomorrow and will be oweekly check ups from now on. The 11 days of leech therapy has paid excellent dividends.

I have had a ad at recent posts and is great to see gigs and of course topsy having such excellent news !!!!

Did pen go in for her surgery ? Has anyone got any news ?

Hi to everyone else and hope to get a little bit mor involved now I have more time and my iPad !!!

Helen not hijacking at all. Will go have a look.

Waving to HND. Lovely to see you back. <mwaah> Fluid sounds annoying. How's the new breast? Have you seen it yet? Are you in pain or okay-ish? Hope the later. x

No news from Pen is I think good news, as must mean she's had her surgery.

smee my new breast is a lovely size but the swelling to the side makes it look,like a bit of a car crash at the moment ! I have managed with no painkillers today, there is little pain (underarm is a wee bit sore after lymph node removal) it's just a little uncomfortable whee the swelling is.

Went to topsys for my first glass of post op wine tonight ...... Mmmmmmm

Yay for new breast!! Take pain killers tonight maybe? Might help you sleep. Good that you don't need them during the day though. Wine is of course medicinal. Did you let Sauron lay his healing paws on you?

Hi HND - yay for new booby - am sure it will look great once the swelling has gone down, - well done for managing without painkillers, but have a few handy for night times - things always seem more sore at night for some reason.

Hope Pen has had her op and is tucked up asleep in hospital (and has no snorers on her ward!)

Hi Smee, was Cardiff journey OK - no delays due to the wrong kind of snow on the line? Hope you had a big fat book to read.

Helen - thanks for dropping in will have a look at that link.

I didn't let pig/dog Sauron anywhere near me today, I'm sure he would be sniffing all over my new booby ....... I'm not too confident around dogs and although he is a big soppy pup, he knows it !

Hey welcome back hnd ! Hope the wine @ tipsy's has been medicinal
I'm sure that pen must be tucked up safely in bed.

Waving to MAS

HND - but Sauron has magical healing paws, and dribble

Yay for hnd and medicinal at topsy's
'Sposed to be going out tonight but forecast heavy snow and blizzard not too good will see what happens later!

That's irritating about your night out jchoc.

Yay for healing wine and fact snow hasn't impacted on topsy/hnd supply.

Snowy journey sounds quite nice smee.

Am feeling very bleurgh after few days of not much food so wonder if sauron could be trained to fetch snacks. Probably not...

Need to wake up a bit as got friends coming for lunch and need to cook

Thanks ladies ...... Sauron fetch snacks ? He'd have them all eaten in a second ! Just had coffee with tipsy, she's crocheting hats (again). It's so nice to be home.

Just getting ready to go and see surgeon, I have about 6 foam islands stuck on my back and front trying to prevent leaks .....it's so horrible and I feel mucky. Can't wait for a clean uP and redressing.

For anyone thinking of the LD flap,surgery, please don't be put off by my experience ..... I have had very bad luck so I am told and the surgeon took a risk making me such a big boob from my own tissue, another girl in my ward who had the same done recovered so much quicker than me .... She had her mastectomy done two years ago..

Snowy journey was lovely. Not least because for once the train was warm and nicely quiet. Somehow I usually manage to sit near someone who's running their office from the train. I had Flat White from Costa, pain au raisin and a book have been meaning to read for an age. Was almost like going on holiday. Shame about the work meet at the other end though.

Hope you slept well and are okay HND. How's wound today??

Jane, will send no-snow vibes your way for tonight. I thought snow was stopping, not starting all over again.

Gig, I have a feeling Sauron would snaffle snacks or you'd get them half chewed. Must be annoying to feel so icky. Cooking seems a bit above and beyond.

Is your appt today, MAS? I think you said you'd rearranged for this week, so must be. Hope it's all positive. x

Ned, hope you've survived the week. You deserve a large glass of later.

Better get on. on for all.

x-posted HND. Hope it goes well today and the wounds stop oozing soon. I remember that feeling of sogginess. Not nice.

Just back from chaperoning a school trip of DDs .
It was a trip to a local Presbytarian church for a bible camp (or Pedestrian Church as DD called it ...)
I had to sit on my hands to stop myself having a full on row discussion on creationism ...

Blimey, I'd have found that tough too, Topsy. I'm not allowed to go on DS's trips as I am now officially embarrassing.

I don't get invited as am unsuitable parent . I had a mate at school was strict baptist and didn't believe in it. She used to get excused from lessons . She was intelligent and very argumentative in all sorts of ways so I never saw why she would just blindly follow what bible said.

Mini gig proving herself a worthy priestess of sauron as is stealing my lunch.

Hope you are all cleaned up hnd.

Yes surgery done. Cancer confirmed and I am minus a thyroid now.

Radioactive iodine treatment booked for 8 weeks. Very sore tired but feeling better than yesterday.

-glad you are done. Standing by with and handholding for your radioactive iodine.

You home now?

Well that's good you're through the op, Pen, though sorry it was confirmed. You must be feeling quite shaky. Talk as much as you want on here. Rest up xx

Pen - glad op is done, are you home? good luck for RI treatment, - I had that just over a year ago, so if you have any questions feel free to ask, and I will do my best to remember! - it wasn't as bad as I expected, just a bit of a nuisance being isolated.
Hope you start to feel better very soon xx

HND - hope you get rid of the soggy spongy stuff, or at least get clean spongy stuff supplied - its horrid when you feel yukky and can't do anything about it. Did you have the tummy flap thing or the one from your back ? (I'm hopefully having the tummy one this year, so very interested in your experience - don't worry about sparing the details, - I know there's always a chance of complications, but hopefully worth it in the end) Anyway feet up and for you I'd say - get that topsy to entertain you with her exotic dancing and bawdy songs.

I went to keep fit class today - and a photographer from the local paper came along and took photos, - so my giant arse will feature in the paper soon - hooray!

Waving to all xx

Hooray for kks giant arse !
<wonders will it get an agent , entourage etc>


Welcome home Pen
Gentle hugs and plenty of fbs

Gigs - Sauron is proud of his acolyte , but wants to know where his cut is ???

No still in hospital until calcium levels normal. Guess I will be here till tomorrow now. They came and did an ECG at midnight frightened me to death.
Have a clear dressing on my neck which is very gruesome.

Thanks kurri will be asking you about the radioactive treatment soon. Will be great to get the lowdown from someone who has been through it.

Just face timed the dc's as set up wifi hotspot through my phone . Lifesaver and I will be able to use it when I am in isolation.

Nice to hear from you Pen and glad that the surgery is all over for you now. You can start recovery.

I saw the surgeon and she is impressed with the improvement in the capillary return of the flap and got the reg in to have a good look too. She got a lovely nurse who loves dressings to come and give me a good wash and redress. They decided to put wound bags over the leaks to catch the drips and I feel SO MUCH cleaner though I rustle when I move lol.

Kk I had the LD flap (from back) surgery .... Apparently I was the wrong shape for tram flap and they we more confident of the back flap as they do not have to reconnect the blood supplies, they just send your back under a channel under your arm to the front ! Surgeon admitted today that she sat for a week with her fingers crossed whilst the leeches sorted out the blood supply as they though the flap was dying..

i had a tough time because of my overweighted ness and there was HIGH RISK slapped all over my file The leech therapy was because of the flap failing and the transfusion was because of blood loss during what was described as "very difficult surgery"and the leeches taking all my blood. I was unfortunate to get cellulitis around one of the drain sites and to get the infection and fever. I am still glad I had it all done and like I said earlier, don't let my bad luck out you off.

Imam being very well looked after by my DH and tipsy

Well done pen and hope you get out soon- take care
hnd am pleased that tipsy is looking after you - hope everything recovers v soon - it all sounds very dramatic.
Have an appalling headache as trying to sort out tax thing for doing work for Japanese newspaper- seem to have been on the phone for ages- I hate money stuff, my mind just shuts off.
Back from onc. via the Costa and the Gap (where I may have made some purchases) and Paperchase to buy lovely cards - always a great pleasure that shop.
Onc is booking a scan which I was expecting but still...
He says if the pulmonary nodules have shrunk or disappeared Topsy stylee then they will prob. keep me on my current meds as they can't rule out tiny metastases which are smaller than 1 cm and can't be seen on CT..so I could be doing this cycle continuously (some people have it for years until it doesn't work any more) I always feel am hopeless as describing how I feel and was trying to articulate about a discomfort in my chest which I think might be psychological possibly. I am sure he thinks I'm a little deranged and I get flustered and drop my scarf/gloves/coat. He did listen to my chest but breathing ok.
Drinkies time soon, after I've written to the Inland Revenue.

MAS, not surprised you have a headache! Scan's bound to be scary, but I'd guess will be good, as they've always said they'll do one and you'll anxt until you have one anyway. How do you feel about the idea of being on long term meds like that? I know this round's been a teeny bit easier due to reduced dose, but you must still be having side effects and feel wiped out.

HND, blimey that's a lot that didn't go to plan. Must have freaked you out a bit to hear Surgeon say that. though clearly just shows you're as tough as old boots

Waving to Pen in hospital. Are you in a lot of pain? Hope not. Hope too that you escape tomorrow. xx

Just back from after school pizza treat with a mum mate and our boys. Involved beer for us and pizza for them, which went down a treat. Will drink a toast to Kurri's forthcoming fame in a bit.

ongoing meds seems a bit irksome, but the last cycle was miles easier so I shouldn't really complain..could be worse !

Hello to all who are eek about scans, phew about being home, recovering from surgery, disowned by their offspring or otherwise.

I'm alright. Those who keep an eye out for info on longer term stuff after treatment, just over a year after rads were finished, and 18 mths after chemo stopped, I've still got sensory loss in my fingers but don't notice any more. Sense of balance is now well dodgy, but I've learned to compensate. Still have post-op pain in boob if I wear something uncomfy etc. Hair now shoulder length and wildly curly. But I'm starting to feel human again after a couple of eeek months of post-cancer stress thingy. and of course am still quite mad but I was to start with.

I shall leave out for all.

mad is good amber

Mas I just requested to join the Facebook group please .... Lisa Hutchings

will whizz over and admit you

Welcome home hnd <wonders if I am repeating myself as I can't keep up>

at kurri and her photogenic posterior.

Waves at amber.

Lots of positive thoughts and good luck for your forthcoming scan mas. Hopefully this week of treatment will go as well as the last.

Still no results here. I am becoming more and more stressed as I feel if the results were ok the onc would have let me know and I fear he maybe didn't want to ruin my weekend. I have decided to phone next week if still no word.

Ooh FB group can I join ?

thanks gracie - sorry you are waiting and fretting, hope you can get some comforting news.
pen of course you may- look for Tamoxifen Ten on fb and we'll invite you in

Gracie I'm sure it's not bad news .
But me being sure isn't going to stop you worrying .
I think a phone call to your Onc is what's needed !

Mas they were going to keep me on chemo and herceptin indefinitely too .
Was told that as long as the drug combo was working , they would keep me on it .
Try to think of it as diabetic needing insulin .
Cos I know the thought of such harsh medicine long term is a little soul destroying .
Gracie told me that her chemo nurses had a patient that had been on herceptin for the past 8 years as it was still working for her !

DD is having her first friend for a sleep over in our house .
She's slept over at this friends house a number of times . But I've always resisted having them here .
I bit the bullet .
Took them to <whispers> MacDonalds , youth club . Then set up the air bed in her room , threw a bucket load of Haribo in there , and promptly buggered off to HNDs

I'm a good mum , I am ...

Hope the sleepover is going well topsy

I have just been woken for my 2 am blood pressure check and can't get comfortable. I don't want to be knocked out as deep breathing and coughing are not good and don't want to wake up more stiff. Just hope when I get home I can find somewhere comfy to doze.

It is sinking in a bit that I have cancer. Cancer. Me . I have it. It had not really felt like it before. How am I supposed to feel ? I have no idea.

Sent request to FB group btw.

It takes a while- I still struggle with it at times pen. If it helps you to rest do take a tablet as I find hospital a nightmare to sleep in. Would if help to get one of these pillow as can mould it to fit round your dressing? Amazon sell them too. Will ask my mum what she did to get comfy post op.

You are mother of the year topsy- sent you a friend request too hnd.

Gracie - I echo what others said to ring onc. I wouldn't read too much into not calling pre weekend as don't think they think about sparing bad news (in fact I think they are not allowed to).

Right ought to think about getting up as have fairy godmother (as she is known) coming for lunch with her two lovely boys. Leaving lemon tart and for those that need it.

Also looks lack of sleep isn't going to help your mood pen- truism I know but it really makes a difference .

I have accepted friend requests ladies

Gig, our fairy godmother left homemade tomato and basil soup and home made wheaten bread in a box on our doorstep early yesterday morning

Pen, I think taking one day at a time and going with your feelings of laughing or crying may be a temporary way forward.

As for sleeping, I am currently sleeping on my reclining sofa as I can only sleep on my back and find the bed too flat .... You will find a way.

Tipsy and I were quite restrained last night and managed to have a fairly early finish to our Friday Pub Night.

I have a friend visiting today who I visited in Spain when she was having chemo for breast cancer .... Really looking forward to it

I may have finished pub night at HNDs early , but I may have had another glass when I got home !

Feeling pretty good about myself today .
Managed to semi straighten my Afro , I look verging on human !
I'm wearing a dress and I may even put mascara on !!!

Horse riding for DD soon .
Then some shopping for bits and pieces .

Anyone else doing anything exciting today ???

Pen I don't think I ever truly accepted the cancer diagnosis .
Mainly I think as I never really felt unwell with any of it .
I never had any of the side effects from chemo that some of the ladies here have had (well I was violently sick with the first one , but they gave me a syringe driver after that and I was fine)

Just be kind to yourself and allow your mind and body to adjust to your new normal , however long it takes .

Pen, I've never got my head round it either, but time does help. Hope you're not feeling too ropey today. Any news on when you can come home?

HND sounds like Dr Tipsy's leading you astray providing dedicated care. Have a great time with your friend. I will nip over to FB and wave at you.

Topsy, sleep-overs avoided here too so far. Hope DD not too grumpy through exhaustion. Well done on new human look, though mascara?! A step too far, surely?

Gracie, Onc calling isn't a bad thing. It could easily be that they haven't looked at your MRI results at all yet. Must be tough waiting though. Could you call on Monday if you haven't heard?

MAS, what Topsy says about wise. Must be quite something to get your head round though. Hope you're doing something nice this weekend.

Not much going on here. Sun's shining though, so that's mighty cheering.

Sent request to join the Facebook group

Morning all!

Hope everyone is OK this morning? Very cold here. but all of our snow has melted overnight - yay! I hate the bloody stuff, so am hoping that's the end of it for another year. . .

School pretty good this week - getting a bit easier and not so completely shattered. Did painting with my class on Thursday afternoon - aren't you proud of me?! Paper, paint, water and 17 excited 5-6 year olds! It was not complete carnage, so feeling a bit more confident that I can do stuff with them. Have worked out a management plan for the how to cope with the movement between group activities without everything descending in to chaos. Feeling a bit better about it all, I think Going on a course next Thursday, about teaching phonics. Not terribly thrilling, but venue does a good lunch apparently!

HND have sent you friend request. Hope you're doing OK today x x

pen give yourself time and be gentle to yourself. I am a year post-diagnosis, and am only now, with help from a counsellor, coming to terms with the new normal. There is no right or wrong answer about how to feel - whatever you feel is natural and fine. Take it one very small step at a time, and scream, shout, cry, go for a walk, whatever you feel like doing is what you should do. The emotional scars need as much care and attention as the physical ones - I am certainly finding the emotional fallout much harder to cope with than the physical effects. With the sleeping, work out a way of getting comfy, maybe with lots of cushions/ pillows to support your back. Maybe think about talking to your GP about having something to help you sleep? Just be kind to yourself and give it all time. I know that sounds really trite, but its true. stick with us too - we all know what its like. Sending you and hugs x x xx

topsy I have no doubt that you are the picture of sartorial elegance. Hair pics on FB look great

gracie definitely phone onc next week if you haven't heard. I am sure they'll be used to people chasing their results. It's only natural to want to know what's going on. Got everything crossed that you can get through on Monday, and then you'll know what's what.

smee your train journey certainly sounds very relaxing. I love travelling by train, especially on my own! Hope meeting at the other end was productive and useful. I was at uni in Cardiff - have very fond memories of it as a city.

kurri Am sure your arse is not as ample as mine. Luckily no-one has ever attempted to take a picture of mine

MAS Have finally sent your cheque off - sorry Hope you are OK. When do you have to wait until for the scan? Thinking of you lots and lots x x

Epic post - will sign off now

Staying in another night as my calcium levels not doing what they should.

pen - can't find your request -can you tell me which person with your real name is on fb so I can find you ? Sorry you're having to stay in another night
ned thanks in advance for cheque - am guessing the scan will be in a week or so-,def. before my next onc appointment.
A friend from way back is coming to tea today- have got crumpets,coffee swiss roll and other bits..known each other since A levels but haven't seen him for about 9 years or so -possibly longer. Taking him over to the old people as they were very fond of him.I daresay mum will remind him of the time he was staying the night and had to wear her nightdress.....

Lol mas I love it when the old stories trot out.
Pain to have to stay in, pen hope u are sprung soon!
Our "Christmas do" was a bit smaller than expected, due to it being a "white Christmas" do! Three of us stayed out for a v nice meal in a Russian Restaurant, while several inches of snow fell! Cars were all over the road when we left. We naively thought that the trains would be running and luckily they did! We could have walked I suppose, about 3 miles to one friends house but glad we could get back to mine easily.

Pen I know what you mean, me? Cancer? It's something that happens to other people, not me. I felt part of the problem was that you had to deal with getting two Cancers. The first, the actual cancer, is the actual illness you have, probably virtually unique, and the treatments you have to endure to get rid of it. In fact everyone has that cancer since we all have cells going rogue all the time but usually your immune system mops them up, but for some reason, genetic? pollution? drugs? whatever? (but also probably unique to us) for some of us they get out of control somewhere in our body. The treatments are pretty shit, you get mutilated, poisoned and /or burnt but there are ways of coping and getting on with real life.

The other Cancer, the big C, is a whole parcel of people's perceptions about what Cancer is, what causes it, what a Cancer patient looks like, how they should behave, the dread, the stigma etc. and that is the Cancer that happens to other people. I found that the hardest thing to deal with because I had shared some of those perceptions, the dread and the stigma, but mostly they are a load of bunkum, totally at odds with the reality of your illness. Its annoying to encounter them in others but once you have come to terms with the reality it can be quite amusing too. I still get people telling me how strong I am, something that happened to me 11 years ago still defining their perceptions of me, in spite of all current appearances to the contrary, especially during 4am lying awake wibbly wobblys about nothing!!

Waves to everyone, must go, DH demanding I come look at some new things he can do with his remote......

pen I'm not sure I will ever get my head around my cancer diagnosis. It was the one thing I have dreaded since I was in my 20s. Hope your calcium levels settle and you get home soon.

Hope the sleepover wasn't too noisy topsy. Hair looks great by the way.

Glad your return to work is going well ned. I'm still off but my line runs out next month so can't put it off for ever.

Thank you all for putting up with my moaning about results. Onc phoned at lunchtime to say he was sorry he hadn't phoned earlier but he had been away and had just called into the office. MRI showed no change so he is happy that the bone thing is benign and nothing showed up on my liver so according to him 'we can put this to bed now'. Echo also showed no change so all set for herceptin next week. I am so very relieved.

Brilliant news gracie

YAY FOR GRACIE!! That is totally brilliant. You must be on cloud nine.

Pen, that's a sod that they're keeping you in. Can they do anything to help with calcium levels?

Great to hear you're okay, Ned. Does sound like you're on the up now. <cautious I know>.

MAS at story about nightie, but coffee swiss roll?! That's just wrong. Has to be chocolate.

What are DH's new tricks with the remote, Copt? Can he balance it on his nose? I can do that with ours <shameless boast>

Just had v.sad call from close friend. Her SIL has 'probable' breast cancer. 38 with two children under 5. She's had core biopsy and gets results next week. Good timing to hear your news then, Gracie. That really has cheered me up.

Thanks smee and jchoc.

That is sad smee. My heart goes out to her and her little kiddies. Heart breaking. It really seems to be all you hear about.

I quite like coffee swiss roll although much prefer chocolate but must be coated with chocolate as well [fat pig smiley]

Are you going to celebrate, Gracie? Full fat swiss choc roll at the very least?

Gracie so pleased to hear your news what a relief !

Mas I loved the nightie story too and I LOVE coffee Swiss roll !

Pen sorry you are having up stay in hospital.

Smee so sorry to hear about your friend .... I saw so many young cancer patients in hospital .... It's scary

Yes celebrations in the gracie household. Champagne anyone???

fabulous news gracie -yay !!!!!!!!!
sad though for your friend smee - bugger.
Had the nicest time with my friend - nightie not mentioned - lots of cake and coffee swiss roll is yum. He bought me and mum huge bunches of flowers though dh has removed the lilies from my bunch as he's allergic to the pollen - bah !

Glad you had a nice time mas. I love flowers although have ruined so many clothes by forgetting to trim the lillies.

yay for gracie!! and phew - celebrations tonight I'm guessing

Smee - so sorry about your friend, - so many young people seem to get this illness - I hope everything goes well for her and she makes a good recovery.

MAS - glad you had a nice day with your friend, -love the nightie story - and I love coffee swiss roll - I haven't had any for years <goes all misty eyed and nostalgic>

Pen - I am four and half years from DX and I still haven't got my head round the fact that I've had cancer, - every so often it creeps up and hits me like a ton of bricks, and its scary. It will take time, - you get so caught up in the treatment, tests, surgery and you kind of hold yourself together to get through it, but afterwards when you get a moment to reflect is when it can be hard. And being in hospital in that clinical environment brings it home a bit. xx

HND - hope you had a fun day with your friend, and that you are feeling less squelchy today.

Ned - well done for getting another week at work under your belt - you are doing well my lovely. My arse will be doing a sell out tour this summer, and signing autographs on this thread. - I did notice the photographer had to keep changing the lens in his camera - I am suspecting wide angle was needed.

A friend of mine who was due to have her reconstruction last week (after her first date was cancelled) got a call to say her plastic surgeon fell in the snow and broke her elbow - so can't do any ops for a few months - the weather has a lot to answer for!

I did an hour of power yoga this morning (from a DVD featuring Rodney Yee - yes that's right, the famous Rodney Yee who? who?) it was pretty energetic but quite good fun. Old lady dog kept trying to lie down and go to sleep on my yoga mat - she is not a fan of old Rodney it seems.

Love to all xx

gracie am drinking your health tonight with a delicious margarita (hic!)

That's brilliant gracie hope you have a sore head.

Anyone? Dh taken big gig swimming while I wait on a teething mini gig.

smee <very impressed at remote juggling skills> I have absolutely no idea what DH can do with remote, whenever he talks to me about computer or remote, actually remotes, there are 4 of them all I can hear is blah blah blah. So I just muddle through randomly pressing buttons and hope for the best..... I think he could probably achieve world domination with them, which possibly explains need for remote domination......

It is horrible to hear of yet another young woman with Cancer, I was the oldest in my little support group, at 43 , and we all had young children. Grr. Hope it is a easily treatable one.

gracie more good news!

pen hope they let you out today, hospitals are very depressing places

hnd hope boob has stopped dribbling, and is settling down to it's undoubted ultimate awesomeness. Friend had problem with bit of flap dying , actually killed off by chemo , but it is lovely now. They did not bring in the leeches though, they would have sorted it!! Did you see my post that my lovely horse played role in early use of leeches to control infection, back in 70s, vet wrote papers on him and everything. He went on to gallop the moors for decades, are you feeling frisky???

Happy Sunday morning, oops afternoon to everyone

I am home. Have enough pills to sink a ship as my ca levels still low. Have not slept properly at all in hospital. Very tired.

It is hitting me now that I have something wrong with me so emotionally pretty wobbly too.

Pen I hope you get a good night's sleep, it's a really tough time, operations leave you depressed anyway, as well as putting your illness centre stage and in your face. However, honestly you will get through this, and you will smile again. There really is life after Cancer, lots of it! Including champagne and smoked salmon for Sunday tea (hic!) on the trolley....

Lost my post
Really glad you are home, pen you will be able to rest now you are in your own bed.
I've just about recovered from my Friday night out in time for work tomorrow...

Yes please for that brew. Morning all.
Still being zero use on mn at the mo but waving at people as I'm reading through.

welcome home pen !

Morning all. Must go and get my computer from work in one direction then go and work in a different office this pm. And pick up a repeat prescription on the way past the doctors. TOM arrived and blood everywhere again, hence need for script! Sorry if tmi. I could always cope before tamox, now it feels like I can't be more than an hour away from a loo.
Did you manage to sleep, pen ?

Welcome home pen hope you had a good night's sleep.

Hope everyone ok today. Very chilly out and rain again.

Hope you get your prescription sorted jchoc. That sounds pretty miserable.

Freezing here too, but that's because the boiler's broken.

Waving to Pen. Hope you're tucked up and being waited on. You're bound to feel a bit weepy. GA does that to you, but also the reality starts to kick in a bit more post op I think. Natter on here if it helps. If anybody's going to understand a teeny bit of how you're feeling, it's probably us.

Jane, that sounds grim. I don't miss all that at all, though as found a hair growing out of my neck yesterday. Is that the first old lady whisker?! I have plucked, but am pondering the need for sucky sweets and cardies..

Amber, you're always so busy. Hope you're okay amidst it all. Lovely to see you even if only fleeting.

We haven't heard from AtoZ for a while. Do hope she's alright. If you're out there, AtoZ we haven't forgotten you xx

Waving to all others. on here too for all who need one.

What a lovely night in my own bed. I slept well but woke up pretty stiff. Easing now though.

I had a chance to read through the thread properly and really appreciate your experiences of dealing with this. It really helps that what I am feeling is normal. Today I hope to make some flapjacks and cakes for lunch boxes to return to some sort of normal.

Fantastic news gracie

Morning all. Another cold and grey day here. Topsy has just been round for coffee and has now gone home to laze about and watch tv do some housework. I am sitting flat on my bum doing nothing. Still have a lot of fluid escaping but feel so much cleaner with the drain bags instead of yucky dressings ..... Can't wait for it all to go though and start feeling properly clean again.

Pen, glad you are home and had a lovely sleep in your bed. I managed to sleep on my side last night which was lovely after sleeping flat on my back for three weeks. Take each day as it comes ..... It is tough having surgery, I cried a few times too as I felt very hard done to with the surgery and complications and pain ... It is very natural to get upset and say "why me?"

Amber, your lightning speed life of razzing around makes me dizzy,,be kind to yourself and park the tea trolley up and have a breather my dear.

Hope everyone else is having a pleasant morning.

Welcome home Pen - so nice to wake up in your own bed - how are your feeling? - I don't know anything about calcium levels, I imagine being low would make you very tired? - anyway you have the op out of the way now, which is great - onwards and upwards my lovely xx

Smee- bugger about the boiler - hope it gets fixed soon, why does heating always break when its freezing?
Hair growing from neck is the thin end of the wedge I am long past that stage and now sport a Brian Blessed beard (note to self -must practice loud booming voice)

jchoc - sorry you are having problems, - is the script something to staunch the flow? Mind you don't get low on iron (I only mention because I used to have horrendous periods before I had all my girl gubbins removed, and I used to get very anaemic and run down) hope you feel better soon.

waving madly to amber - always lovely to see you, - we know you are a busy woman, so don't worry about long posts - hello is fine - and yes I'd love a cuppa please.

morning MAS and gracie - crumpet anyone? - I can't eat them as I'm frantically dieting, so will give them to the trolley (and force any extras down skinny old DD's throat )

I should have been at yoga, but our car has decided to give up the ghost - huge puddle of brake fluid under it this morning, DH is cycling to town to get more brake fluid and is going to try to fix problem himself - we can't really afford a car problems atm - why do these things always come when you least want them.

I'm supposed to be going to an art club meeting half an hours drive away tomorrow and I was supposed to introduce the speaker and do all the notices etc. - but may have to cancel - I feel bad because everyone else hates doing the intro stuff, and I don't mind, so I might be landing someone with a job they hate.

OOps xposted - morning HND - lying around is exactly what you should be doing at the moment, - can you fix up a bell to ring in topsy's house when you need something?

Arf at Kurri, with her Brian Blessed voice. Don't feel bad about talk. Why d'you have to cancel? Too busy booming?

MAS, how are you today? Keeping busy?? I have lost track of where you are in your cycle, but think you must be starting another round again soon?

guaranteed to make you all smile It's a shop near us, but I thought it was cheery on a Monday.

Ooh, I missed you too HND. Have you got new drains in then? I hate those things. Always manage to rip them out somehow <ouch>.

Pen, I think Flapjacks are a bit above and beyond. Surely you should be reclining looking pale and mainlining chocolate?

No not too busy booming Smee, (although obviously that takes up a lot of my time ) - because I don't think we'll have the car fixed by tomorrow night - DH has his 'grim' face on!

Love that clip - must show DD (when she gets up )

How annoying on the car. Must be the time of year for things to break.

I like that shop smee ! Bah about boiler - hope you have some heaters to keep warm.
Poor jane - sounds rotten for you.
Waves to pen and hnd - am off to do some work in a sec, just dropping by to say hello. smee have started this cycle -so far so good- am busy working too,so that'll keep me occupied

and grrrr about car kk -very annoying and pesky.

Kk sorry to hear about our car ..... They are such money pits !

Topsy is being a very good friend and is on hand or anything I need mostly a wine partner !!!!. My DH is thankfully off work for a couple/few weeks as long as I need help as we have no family support in Northern Ireland.
Smee I don't have drains in thankfully but have external wound bags stuck over the leaky bits which have a tap to enable emptying (yuk). Thankfully my DH is a nursing auxiliary so very handy and used to such yukiness !!!

Sorry x posted mas hope you a coping well with your current cycle and recent news. Topsy has wise words about mets !

thanks hnd

Nope, not busy (well, no more than usual) - just 'out of fuel' emotionally - just life -nothing anyone else needs to fix - I need to get my head straight.

all round it is.

I am so

Was due to start 2nd cycle of chemo today but can't as there are no beds availabe!

"Hopefully" there will be one tomorrow.

WTF!!! When I need a 21 day cycle that's exactly what it should be 21 days not 22 or 23 or anything other number they may have dreamt up.

Offered to be a day patient - not possible (although it was offered to me as an option last time)

Offered to go to a different hopsital - not possible.

They even have my chemo meds on the ward ready - just totally unable to physically pump them into me.

Just have to sit by the phone wating for the hospital to sort out their 'bed blockers' - as that's what has caused the shortage of beds.

I AM SO

Press? MP? (PALS is just an ansa phone message saying they'll get back to me in 48 hours - whoopee-whoo!)

AtoZ. Phone GP and ask if they can call on your behalf?? Mental anguish/ distress is a huge trigger I was told. Or could you call your consultant - they must have a secretary. That might be worth a go.

That is unbelievable - what about Macmillan? They may have some advice on what to say.

Back later- trying to do some work.

Macmillans say it doesn't matter assome people have their treatment delayed due to low bloods - but my bloods are fine!!

Macmillans say it could be done as a day apteint - hospital says No

Have rung specialist nurse - ansaphone

Have rung PALS - ansaphone

Feeling like pressing the nuclear option and going to the Press.

Well in treatment terms a days delay doesn't matter (mas had to wait and I think someone else ended up delayed due to weather). That's not the point tho - point is delay is due to admin or system failure.

Going to press might make you feel better but not sure will get you that bed. Annoying about day patient thing tho.

Rang specialist nurse and said I wasn't happy.

Was told I might be "lucky" tomorrow.

Am contacting my MP who is very hot on this sort of thing.

I'ts fucking outrageous!

grrr- but don't fret too much about delay treatment wise as I have missed treatments due to side effects/weather...

poor T sent home from school as poorly- should have not been harsh mother and sent him in this morning

Hope T feels better soon mas although note you have stocked up on Waitrose supplies to perk him up . So jealous as we don't have a Waitrose here.

atoz grr about delay, frustrating especially as it is not your fault. Hopefully a bed will become available soon.

Hope you are ok amber you sound a bit fed up.

Off to school run and dancing run. Absolutely soaked after walking the dog who is now stretched out on the bed snoring.

Well my 'orrible 'ormones / melatonin black hole scored a blinder last night, laid awake all night until 6.25 when DH came up from snorarium, and had to get up at 7am to breakfast DD. Managed to get to sleep for a couple of hours before phone and everything else made more sleep impossible. So am now officially a zombie, gives everyone zombie wave...

AtoZ last of my treatments delayed two weeks by blood counts so it doesn't actually matter BUT agree totally unacceptable when you are all psyched up and ready to go. From the sound of it it may be something they have started to take for granted that they can get away with, so I would make a stink if only for your own satisfaction and the possibility it will help others and in the future.

Anyone recommend a suitable zombie film / support group............

AtoZ, I had delays, but down to bloods and then once down to screw up at the hospital. All you can do is to hold on to is that it won't affect how effective your treatment is. Still bloody annoying though.

Amber, sounds like you need to be with us on the sofa more often. <<aims trolley to block Amber's exit>>

MAS my T's on the sofa too. Sent home again. Never happened to us before, but he has some sort of bug which is going round. He has a duvet over him as still no heating. Do you have any side effects now they've got the dose right for hands and feet? Hope you're feeling okay xx.

Waving to Zombie Copt. That sounds like torture. Have you tried sleeping tablets? Imagine you have.

oh poor copt
Hope your T feels better soon smee - mine is in his room and seems ok but is coughing and sneezing.
So far no side effects- hands tingly but I think they've been like that since the start of this treatment !

Glad you're not too laid low by it all then, MAS. Have you heard yet when your scan might be. Should think that's on your mind more than a bit. By the sounds of things, your T is more ill than mine, who I can hear raiding the fridge, cheeky monkey.

Lovely plumber's just come and put a new ignition in, so Smee has heat. Feel quite cat like next to the radiator. Am almost purring..

Might be fed up. Can't tell yet.
Ooo look.
Good.
Hugely relieved today as a good friend has just had her tests back and she's not got cancer. Phew.
Copthall, argh re insomnia situation. I'm such a rubbish sleeper - can empathise a bit. There must be an answer but I don't know what.

Evening All

<flexes duct tape at Amber and says "sit" in firmest voice>

AtoZ that sucks big time .
No suggestions I'm afraid , other than letting them know that you won't keep quiet when bbumped !

Seems to be boiler busting season !
Mine went too , and 2 of my brother in laws .

Was at HNDs earlier , then came home , watched a bit of tv , slept for a couple of hours ...
Although did jump up and Hoover and wash floors , put the laundry on , and make dinner this afternoon .

I have one of those new mint kit kats in the fridge ...

<sits>

Hello, I went to the GPs today about some anxiety issues and I mentioned that I thought I felt a small lump in right breast, but wasn't sure because they generally felt lumpy. So I'm now sitting here with an appointment at breast clinic on Friday. Just wondering if anyone could tell mewhat are they likely to do at the clinic?

Hi Dizzy, odds ate it is nothing sinister but you are doing the right thing getting it checked. When I went, it was an exam then mammogram then ultrasound then biopsy and a weeks wait for the biopsy result. It may be that they see a cyst though in which case I think it is fine needle aspiration which clears the cyst.

Dh's nan died this morning. She was 99 and had not been well with late stage dementia

Got script from gp and staunched the flow, thank goodness. Ate lots of chocolate this eve...medicinal purposes!

Hello Dizzy. Sorry you've been referred. Breast Clinics tend to follow same pattern, so you'll fill in a questionnaire, have a consult and a physical examination, then go to mammogram and/ or ultrasound dependent on your age. If they find anything which they think they need to know more about, they'll most likely do a fine needle biopsy, which is basically putting a needle into the problem area to take some sample cells. Then you'll go back to the Doctor with a report and they'll tell you what if anything they think might be wrong. Take heart though, as 9 out of 10 referrals end up as nothing to worry about. Stick around and ask anything you want. Doesn't matter how daft it sounds.

Amber are you still sitting?? Great news about friend's results. That must have put a smile on your face.

mini-Kit Kat's still in fridge doesn't compute, Topsy. How did it even get as far as the fridge?!

Been out on a search for Halloumi. Have had it in my head all day, but our usual Turkish store was out. Had to troll round three more shops before I found some. <unheard of round here>

x-posted. Sorry about your DH's nan. Hope chocolate helps..

sorry too about dh's nan jane - am glad you have chocolate and prescription though
smee ds is having an early (for him ) bath and going to bed- think he'll be ok for school tomorrow. Message from his singing teacher hoping he's better soon (because he missed his lesson) Apparently he is doing his ensemble piece with a girl in his year next week (Panis Angelicus ) I would love to hear it- I wonder if they record it ?
Glad junior smee has an appetite !
Dizzy can't add anything to what the others have said but sorry you're having to go through this. In my experience the breast unit staff are lovely and [it is most likely to be something innocent -but do stick around for hand holding.

Hello Dizzy - welcome to the thread, - Smee has described exactly what will happen at the clinic - there's nothing I can add to that, except that in some hospitals you may have to wait for another appointment to get your results, - some are same day results - it's just luck of the draw.

There can often be quite a lot of waiting around at the breast clinic, so arm yourself with a good book or your ipod, and change for the coffee machine.
If possible I would recommend taking someone with you for moral support - I always found that helped.

As jchoc says - there's a very good chance it is nothing sinister, - they always tend to err on the side of caution with breast lumps, but it is much more likely not to be cancer. Good luck with your appointment - and stick around if you want a bit of hand holding while you wait

jchoc - really sorry about your Dh's nan, - how sad Bless her - 99 is a great age, I bet she had some interesting stories to tell before she became ill.

amber - yay for your friend, great news, sorry you are having a rather hectic time atm though, sit down at once, and have a

AtoZ - as the others have said a few days won't make any difference in your treatment, but obviously that's not the point and I can totally understand why you are so angry and upset. It is shit when they mess you about - as if cancer treatment wasn't stressful enough, especially when you have to be an inpatient and have got yourself all psyched up and ready. I really hope they sort it out asap.

Smee - I have had trouble getting halloumi, - can't remember where I last bought it, I think it was sainsbo's, - I know Lidl don't ever have it. I have got a nice recipe somewhere for grilled marinated Halloumi, which I can let you have if you want it.

Just to completely lower the culinary tone, - it is 'end of the month desperately search in the freezer' time chez Kurri, - so we had Toad in the Hole made with Linda MacCartney cocktail sausages (which I don't actually like very much, but DH had a phase of buying sausages every time he went to the supermarket, - we also have about six hundred Quorn frankfurters which are akin to toxic waste IMO)

Hope T is feeling better tomorrow MAS - Panis Angelicus will be lovely - I hope they can record it for you.

Hope it's easy for them to record it for you, MAS. How lovely.

Kurri, we are in the heart of a very Turkish part of London, so Halloumi should be an easy find. I wanted it for a thing I make with sun blush tomatoes. We should do a recipe swap.

ooh yes - sun blush tomatoes recipe sounds nice - I'll look out my recipe and Pm you tomorrow.

I do love halloumi - so squeaky and yum !
Hoping T is up to going to school today -very unlike him to ever be off.
Am posting the wedding invitation I designed today and then tackling this Japanese newspaper job- the tax paperwork for it has been a headache and am not even sure if I've got it right !
How are you doing today pen ? and hnd?

Morning All

Welcome to Dizzy
Nothing to add bar , any questions you have , please do ask x

Jane please send my sympathies to DH . No matter the age , it's always sad when you lose someone .

Hope Ts feeling better today Mas

Dull , dark day here .
Hmmm , toasted cinnamon raisin bagels and coffee on tap , whilst wrapped up in my sofa blanky .
I also have aprox 476 <not prone to exaggeration at all> hours of tv program's to catch up with on the sky box .
Bliss !

Morning all

Hope T is feeling better this morning MAS. - Japanese tax paperwork sounds mindblowing - rather you than me - I struggle with UK tax paperwork!

topsy I'll have a toasted bagel please and a coffee (just made myself a tea but forgot about it and left the tea bag in - now you could stand a spoon up in it!)

Enjoy your televisual feast - did you see Lewis last night/ - I started a thread in telly addicts about it - not enough Hathaway - and I won't spoil it if you haven't watched yet, but it's very sweet at the end

DH has gone off to work on his bike, - car out of action until at least Thursday, so I've had to cancel my meeting tonight.

Am having a slight panic - remember I said I'd asked a woman round for coffee this week? - I've forgotten her name, - or rather even worse, I think I've been calling her by the wrong name - for some reason I thought she was called Linda, now I've had a sort of moment when I've thought 'Oh God she's not called Linda, what the hell is her name' - can I have a whole conversation with her without using her name/calling her Linda? <panics> I'm getting so senile FFS.