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This is going to be cancer isn't it?!

(91 Posts)
Olderkidsaremine Mon 26-Nov-12 13:07:29

My Dad has had a rough time of it over the last few years - servere mental health issues and approx 10 years ago a big operation to remove lymph nodes in his neck due to skin cancer and weeks of radiothearpy afterwards.

Last Tuesday he had a chest xray after complaining about a pain in his chest - long story about doctors dismissing his concerns because his heart sounded fine and he didn't seem to have a problem with breathing, mum insisted on xray! Anyway on Thursday he had a call arranging for a consultants appointment on the 5th December and then over the weekend a letter came through booking him in for a 'scan' on Saturday 1st at 1.30pm.

We are all trying to stay positive - better knowing sooner rather than later etc etc. But this isn't going to end well is it? Any ideas what it could be? Should mention that he has been a smoker for over 50 years.

digerd Mon 26-Nov-12 15:40:30

My DB smoked 40 a day for over 40 years, and is as fit as a fiddle.
My uncle smoked 60 a day and never had any cancer
My grandad smoked until his death at 81, never had cancer.
A friend of parents smoked until he was 87 and died at 91 - never had cancer.
My dad smoked until he was 65, no cancer.

There are some people who will be susceptible to other lung diseases if they smoke(ed).
Your dad has had skin cancer with lymph node secondaries, but that was 10 years ago.
It is good that he is having a scan on Thursday. What type of scan and is it for his heart or his lungs?

digerd Mon 26-Nov-12 15:45:35

Oh, I see the scan is this Saturday and the consultant next week.

RunnerHasbeen Mon 26-Nov-12 15:48:42

Not necessarily, he is being seen early because he has these risk factors, it shouldn't add to the reasons to worry. It is also reassuring that he isn't having many symptoms and his breathing is fine, so even if it is cancer they will have caught it earlier than a lot of cases. He needs to try to stop smoking though, really try, whether this is a cancer or not. I can't think of anything that might cause chest pain that isn't exacerbated by smoking. It could be COPD or an infection of some sort. Good luck.

CMOTDibbler Mon 26-Nov-12 15:55:34

TBH, you just can't say what it could be, and its best not to Google or try and second guess. Obv as a long time smoker, your dad is at high risk for lots of non cancerous lung conditions like empysema, and as an xray isn't very specific for anything, they need a CT to see more.

RooneyMara Mon 26-Nov-12 18:18:55

Is there any way you or he/you mum could ring the Dr and ask why he has to see the consultant? Or why he is having a scan - that will give you more of an idea than we can on here, we can only guess.

I'm sorry you're so worried.
As others have said it could be any number of things, x rays are usually not that conclusive. It could be a recurrance of the cancer he had before, or something entirely different...chest infection, that sort of thing. Or maybe they are just doing it to rule out anything nasty.

Hope he is Ok x

LittenTree Mon 26-Nov-12 19:39:40

You must remember that a chest Xray is a 2D representation of a 3D structure. 2 innocent 'things' overlying each other can combine to look 'sinister' on a chest Xray- which is why a CT scan is in order as the next port of call. Happens all the time. He's being seen quickly because he's on a certain pathway that just might be cancer. It's called the 2 week wait which means from referral to diagnosis (or first attempt at one) should only take up to 2 weeks. 'Shadows' on chest Xrays on lifelong heavy smokers always invoke the 2WW.

You have to grit your teeth and wait to see the result of the CT which is the definitive test.

My mum has smoked 50 a day from 20 to nearly 80.

Fit as a fiddle.

Your dad could well walk away from this experience with a shrug, as many do!

Good luck.

I thing there is a lot to be said for everything people have mentioned but in all honesty I would prepare for the worst.

thewhistler Mon 26-Nov-12 19:49:45

Because it is a chest pain they will want to check it is not a chest or lung infection, or a problem with the heart. And any chest pain they want to do fast, especially at his age. Add his history and he gets the extra speedy treatment. And they don't want waiting lists either.

Sounds like a sensible hospital to me.

BeaWheesht Mon 26-Nov-12 19:53:45

I honestly think just wait and see. It could be something such as narrowing. / hardening of the arteries which can be fixed, it could be an infection, it could be anything.

You can't 'prepare for the worst' IMO so don't dwell on it of you can avoid it. Ime te only useful thing you can do at this point is have some general questions ready and make sure your dad has someone with him at the appt and you take a pen and pencil.

Olderkidsaremine Mon 26-Nov-12 22:09:49

Thanks for all the replies, we are hoping for the best but preparing for the worst - if that makes sense at this stage. Talked to my mum earlier and she has confirmed that it is a CT scan and that its for his lungs and not his heart.

So at the moment its wait and see.

thewhistler Tue 27-Nov-12 08:56:11

Thinking of you and hope all goes well.

expatinscotland Tue 27-Nov-12 09:02:30

Not necessarily. My dad's smoked for 60 years and never got cancer. He probably won't as he's close to 80 now. His dad smoked for over 70 years and never got cancer, he died of heart failure at the age of 90. His mother smoked a pipe for over 70 years and never got cancer, she died of heart failure age 92. My mother smoked for about 50 years and never got cancer, either.

digerd Tue 27-Nov-12 16:30:38

Yes CT for lungs, and echocardiogram for heart. He's getting proper care and promptly.

You will be told the results next week when he sees the consultant.

All the best of luck for him. Keeping fingers crossed.

Reenypip Wed 28-Nov-12 21:21:26

It could be anything. They might have just seen a shadow and wanted to just have a clearer look with a ct scan,
There are other things it could be, like A Blood clot in the lungs.

Walnutcakelover Wed 28-Nov-12 21:41:52

Hope all goes well, all the best. Fingers crossed.x

Olderkidsaremine Wed 05-Dec-12 12:17:39

Thanks for all the support but it is lung cancer. Been referred to another hospital for more tests etc so will know more on Friday. Although I was expecting it it has hit me hard - busy trying not to cry at work!

digerd Wed 05-Dec-12 13:06:38

My DH had that. There are 2 types - a small cellular and non small cellular, he had the latter, and had already spread to the brain and was advanced stage.

Hope your dad's is caught in time to be cured. Good Luck

GladbagsGold Wed 05-Dec-12 13:10:03

Oh so sorry for shocking news. Was reading the thread and really hoping it would 'only' be pneumonia. Like digerd I hope your Dad's is curable and send you lots of luck.

digerd Wed 05-Dec-12 13:10:41

ps
He had a tumor biopsy through endoscopy, and from that they could determine the stage. As his was advanced he then had a CT scan to see if/where it had spread to, then work out best type of chemo/ radiotherapy appropriate for him. Expect your dad will have the same tests

digerd Wed 05-Dec-12 13:18:10

OP
It might not be the same cancer as my DH, as could be a latent extended disease from his skin cancer that had spread to lymph nodes 10 years ago.
Dr. told me that Dh's cancer had started as abnormal cells probably 20 years ago.

Walnutcakelover Wed 05-Dec-12 13:21:43

older I am so sorry, what a terrible shock for you and your family. Sending you my prayers.

magso Wed 05-Dec-12 13:52:33

Olderkids I am so sorry the news was what you feared. Expecting and preparing for bad news does not really prepare you for the shock of getting bad news. Its hard to get the brain to think of anything else. It some ways I found it easier once we knew what was planned (for my loved ones). You are in my thoughts.

Incapinka Wed 05-Dec-12 20:06:56

Am so sorry and completely understand about the crying. My DM has just been diagnosed with a particularly rare form of cancer and it has turned our world upside down. I have never cried so much in the last few weeks... My sympathies are with you and your family and will keep my fingers crossed for you on Friday. My DM is having her first session of chemo that day too. I have been burying my head in the sand the last week apart from when discussing her finances and what she wants done in the future if she isn't around which is particularly tough, especially seeing her so scared, but on a whole she looks ok and trying to be active. I am just scared how the chemo will affect her and I guess that will make the cancer more real. Thoughts are with you and apologies for going on...

Walnutcakelover Wed 05-Dec-12 21:34:33

incapinka I am really sorry to hear about your dm, it must be a tough time for you and your family. My prayers are with you and your mum.

MumOfStan Thu 06-Dec-12 05:33:44

So sorry you've had this news. I am also experiencing the pain of my darling Dad being diagnosed with stage 4 cancer. He was diagnosed around a month ago but the initial shock and horror has to some extent subsided and whilst I am in constant grief for what we're going to lose, I do manage to have some days/moments where I can enjoy life. I talk to him everyday more or less, say all the things I want to say to him, and spend the rest of my time trying to find positive info to help my mum get the best care for him and not to abandon all hope. I hope you get answers and info quickly and that some kind of treatment plan is put in place. In the mean time, I am here everyday and very glad to talk/listen/understand/whatever so that all of us on here with the same situation feel less alone....

Olderkidsaremine Thu 06-Dec-12 11:51:38

Thanks to everyone for the support and words of encouragement, it helps to know that I'm not alone. I'm trying to be strong for my mum and try and think positively - unfortunately my default is a pessimist so finding that really hard. It was really hard telling my grown up kids - they had some inkling that their Grandad was really unwell by the speed with which scan and consultants appointment came through, one through the tears said "I know how bad it is for me and I can't imagine how hard it is for you" which has me in tears just thinking about it!

The man in my life - for the last 6 months - doesn't know how to approach me I told him not to be nice to me or I'd cry and then proceeded to cry anyway! He just held me and let me soak his shirt! smile

We'll know more about tests etc tomorrow and mum was told whatever they decide to do test wise they will be done in the next two weeks so at least before Christmas we will have some definite plans in place.

I'm so sorry for anyone else going through this - I thought I understood how devastating it would be - I now know that I had no idea!

MumOfStan Thu 06-Dec-12 12:33:55

I really, really feel for you, and somehow it's all the more poignant because it's christmas time isn't it - where we're reminded constantly that families should be happy and together and at home. It is perhaps the hardest thing I've ever dealt so far in life, but I found once we knew the full story and what we were dealing with, and of course what could be done to help dad, it was somehow slightly easier. I have also found that my kids and my work have been an absolute help in ensuring I have at least a few hours a day where I feel relatively 'normal', if that's the right word.

I know this next year is going to be very tough so I am also trying where possible to not be hard on myself in other respects - so eating what I fancy, taking naps and rest at weekends, and not going all out to be at work for all hours. It is hard, hard, hard, but certainly in my limited experience to date, there are some days where it is not as hard and you can smile or feel okayish. Wishing you all the best and hope you and your family get through this first very difficult period as well as you can. xxx

thewhistler Thu 06-Dec-12 19:52:22

Op and ink,so sorry and thinking of you.

Olderkidsaremine Fri 07-Dec-12 16:44:13

Appointment at the other hospital is on Tuesday, on a day ward as he has to be there at 8am and for him not to eat or drink, so its sounds like its going to be a bronchoscopy biopsy, not sure when the results will be available. So still a waiting game - I hate the not knowing, it feels like I'm wishing my life away by wanting it done and the results known but in actual fact I could be wishing my dear dads life away sad

My brother has gone into denial and everyone else is just sad and tearful, trying to be normal is so hard!

Mumofstan my thoughts are with you x

Incapinka Fri 07-Dec-12 22:10:05

It is so so horrid. Evil disease affecting loved ones. I was really struggling coping with it as was trying to be so strong for my DM and DB and everyone else and kept on collapsing in to tears when out of sight of people. I ended up going to the doctor who has prescribed some pills to help take the edge of things and whilst I know they aren't everyone's cup of tea I am finding that I am functioning better. Do try and look after yourself as you need to be strong to support them. My mum had her biopsy done last Monday (11 days ago) and started chemo today. We are now on that scary road and I just hope that it gives us more time with her as she is so special. Thoughts are with everyone also on this bumpy road. And do look after yourselves...

BensonBunny Fri 07-Dec-12 22:33:09

OP Sorry to hear about your Dad, hope this information might help.
Biopsy results take about a week, sometimes nearer to two depending on the number of tests they need to do on the samples. They will discuss the results at a multi-disciplinary team (MDT) meeting where there are oncologists who give chemotherapy and radiotherapy and surgeons present. They can then give your Dad the results along with a plan for treatment or further investigations. Treatment will be based on the type of cancer and the size / spread of the tumour.
Roy Castle are a good source of information. I'm happy to try an answer any questions, you can pm me if you prefer.

Incapinka Tue 11-Dec-12 11:23:48

Just wanted you to know that I'm thinking of you today. Mum had her biopsy done 2 weeks ago and started chemo last Friday so I can relate to what you are going through. Fingers crossed for some hope and positive news x

digerd Tue 11-Dec-12 11:59:50

Been thinking of you. My DH had a bronchial endoscopy before the CT. But he had no sedation, just a numbing spray and had no discomfort at all.

Good luck for him on Tuesday. The biopsy will determine the type of cancer and the stage it is at. So fingers crossed for him.

Olderkidsaremine Tue 11-Dec-12 20:23:29

Well Dad got through today with little memory of the proceedure and no sore throat so that is all for the good. Unfortunately not only did they take a sample from his lung they also took samples of lymph nodes - he has one large one in the centre of his chest and 4/5 smaller ones around his chest!

Mum and him were talking and they both think that this is not looking good. Mum has fallen apart now and can't stop crying and at the same time trying to be strong and not upset Dad. She has insisted that my brother comes to the results so he can't bury his head in the sand anymore.

Dad is being so brave - I don't think I would react the same in his place.

We'll get a call on Friday to let us know when the appointment is for getting the results.

Feeling stronger over the last couple of days - at least not dissolving into tears every little while!

Feeling so sad for everyone going through this sad

digerd Wed 12-Dec-12 12:48:21

OP
Thank you for updating us. So sorry your DM has fallen apart, but she does need to cry, and is good she is insisting your brother go with them for the results. My DH was unable to ask questions or even listen to the answers, .I did both for him.
It appears your dad's lung cancer is not the same as my DHs, more like lymphatic cancer that has spread to his lungs which was probable due to his cancer 10 years ago. There are good survival rates in certain cases with lymphatic cancer. Hoping for encouraging results for your dad.

thewhistler Thu 13-Dec-12 23:39:16

Op, well done just for continuing.

To you and all the others coping with similar things on thus thread, thinking of you at this very difficult time if year.

Olderkidsaremine Sat 15-Dec-12 10:16:44

Well no news is good news so they say - but in this case no news is killing me! Dad has to go for a PET scan on Monday - to see where the cancer has spread in his lymph nodes. We hoped that Monday would be the day of results but that has been moved to Thursday now to enable the results of the PET scan to be seen as well.

I made a fool of myself in Tesco's yesterday, thought while I'm in here I'll get all the Christmas cards everything was fine until I tried to pick one for Dad - they were either have a lovely 2013 or they seemed to be saying 'Goodbye'! The tears just tricked down my cheeks and I noticed some people glancing my way so I put everything down and walked away sniffing loudly and hoping I didn't see anyone I knew - just couldn't face telling anyone else at that point!

And now the question of whats happening on Christmas Day and Boxing Day has been asked - kids are coming home which is great, my new man will be around which is also great but my mum says that Christmas Day won't be the same as other years and then in the next breath says that she doesn't want things to change because at this moment Dad isn't actually unwell.

The only thing we can't do at the moment is change the date the Christmas falls so we have to get on with it - but that means planning and as she was always the lynchpin of Christmas since mine were tiny (divorced for years, their Dad was never around) Christmas was about spending time with Granny and Grandad, she planned it like a military operation and now shes saying well perhaps you can come for dinner but your new man can't, but my daughters boyfriend can and that we can't stay overnight - which we weren't planning to do anyway as there are to many of us - but we'll see you again on Boxing Day when Brother and family are going round! Luckerly they only live 30 mins walk away.

I'm just so confused and sad and I know she is too but I need everyones support as well and to choose between probably my Dad's last Christmas and my new man seems cruel. I don't want to be in this situation anymore than she does and the funny thing(!) about it is that Dad probably doesn't really care about the arrangements as long as everyone is happy - he goes along with what mum says as he is quite laid back.

Sorry for the essay but it seems to help by writing it down.

digerd Sat 15-Dec-12 16:18:31

OP
I love your DF for being so laid back about his cancer diagnosis. Please take consolation in that. My DH was traumatised. However, I coped only by acting as if everything was normal, perhaps like your DM. If your sister's BF was with him last Xmas, then it will be normal for your DM to have him there this Xmas. Do you understand, how she may be thinking, although it seems a bit extreme to me too about her not wanting your new BF there. I do hope he understands, as must be difficult for him too.
It is encouraging that your DF does not feel ill. Wishing him luck for a promising prognosis after his Pet scan.

digerd Sat 15-Dec-12 16:29:50

Your dd's boyfriend, sorry.

Olderkidsaremine Fri 21-Dec-12 10:25:11

Well Thursday is over and we are still unsure of the course of action, there is a 50/50 chance that Dad can have his whole lung removed - the cancer is quite large and more to the centre of his lung which means if the operation goes ahead then it has to be the whole lung - but he needs to have lung function tests to see if the other lung is capable of ensuring that he has a reasonable quality of life! Tests will be on Monday.

Dad said numerous times during the course of the consultation with the doctors that he would like the operation if possible - I think he is pinning all his hopes on it but I don't think it has dawned on him that if it is not possible what will happen next!

We do know the type of cancer - squamous cell (sp) but didn't ask for the stage it is at but reading up on it they wouldn't offer an operation if its too advanced. It is a primary, although it is they same as the previous time.

So more tests, more decisions and no nearer a conculsion. I'm tired of the not knowing now - not knowing means we can't prepare!

digerd Sun 23-Dec-12 16:48:15

OP
Good to hear from you again and that it is not a primary lung cancer. Also, Specialist told me and DH that an operation was out of the question as so advanced it would spread even faster. That it was inoperable and the only hope was Chemo and Radium Treatment, so you are right. There is hope for your dad.
I know nothing about his type of cancer, but assume it is Lymphatic cancer, which he had in his neck 10 years ago?
Which other tests is he having? DH had the CT to see where else it had spread to, but within 2 weeks he was in for 6 months of chemo and a month of daily radium treatment. He never had a PET scan.
Hope they soon make a decision and get it sorted.

greyvix Sun 30-Dec-12 17:36:55

OP, we are in exactly the same situation as you with DM, who had her first x ray on the same day as your DF. Just like you, we were given the 2 week window, but we are still waiting to have an exact date for the operation. When she phoned the hospital a couple of days ago she was told her timing was bad because of Christmas holidays. It is now likely to be mid January.
I am astounded that there is so little sense of urgency in these cases. We are all staying positive, but want to get on with fighting it asap. I hope things work out for you and for the other posters on here.

Olderkidsaremine Thu 03-Jan-13 22:05:25

Just an update. Dad had his lung functions tests on Christmas Eve and according to the nurse - who my mum spoke to on the 27th - he did very well. Today was the day we met the surgeon and got the information that he is prepared to do the operation to remove the whole lung. And he is going to do it next Wednesday the 9th!

Very relieved that we have finally have a date but now the worry turns to whether he will survive the operation!

Mum and Dad couldn't stop smiling - not what you expect when told your whole lung will be removed! but very positive news for everyone.

This has been a very long month, a very strange Christmas and looking forward its going to be a very strange January. But now there is hope that last Christmas wasn't my Dads last and I am thankful for that.

My thoughts and prayers are with everyone on this road x

Meganlillymai Thu 03-Jan-13 23:24:14

I can't put into words how sorry I feel for you and ur loved ones. It is an awful thing use are all going through. I hope and pray ur father has a good out come from his operation wich I'm sure he will as he sounds like a very strong man.

CornyClam Thu 03-Jan-13 23:31:32

So sorry about your dad's dx but really hope that his op is successful.
it must be such a shock for you with your dad having his op next week.

Just seen this and caught up with all your updates. I'm sorry it was cancer as feared but it sounds like your Dad is being treated quickly and proactively and is coping ok so that's good. Hang in there.

greyvix Fri 04-Jan-13 11:42:20

OP, my thoughts are with you, and it is good news that your dad has a date and a plan. My uncle had a lung removed 15 years ago (lung cancer) and is fit as a fiddle now. He is well into his 70s.
My mum is STILL awaiting her next appointment, and is getting increasingly anxious. We found out this morning that the surgeon isn't back until next week, and the hospital has been hit by norovirus, so things are being delayed even further. She was originally told her operation would also be the second week in January.
Good luck to your dad, and anyone in a similar situation.

digerd Fri 04-Jan-13 21:27:55

I know a woman whose dad died at 88 last year, after being cured of lung cancer years ago. Being operable is a really positive sign.

Meganlillymai Sun 06-Jan-13 20:15:34

Good luck to your father for Wednesday. My prayers are with you all.

Olderkidsaremine Wed 09-Jan-13 10:34:57

So today is the day! Dads operation will be sometime this afternoon - he is last on the list. He was admitted yesterday and had another chest xray and ecg - the doctor thought she could hear a heart murmur! So still not plain sailing for him, mum said he seemed so lost and anxious when she had to leave.

So at some point this afternoon we will know if he got though the operation, that is what we are concentrating on now.

50shadesofknackered Wed 09-Jan-13 10:49:50

I've just read this thread, so sorry about your dad's diagnosis. I really hope today goes well.

Olderkidsaremine Wed 09-Jan-13 16:31:06

They took him down, opened him up and saw how much it was in the centre of his chest and then closed him up again sad

Mum is devasted and he will be when they bring him round.

digerd Wed 09-Jan-13 17:13:15

OP
I am so sorry to hear that. I cannot understand in this day and age that it was left so late. My DMs sister had that happen to her in 1965, but they did not have any of the advanced scans , then.
Also don't understand if it is so advanced why they found no secondaries on the CT and Pet scans.
I am so shocked, and upset for all of you.

WipsGlitter Wed 09-Jan-13 18:01:41

I'm really sorry to hear this. I lost my dad to lung cancer about 10 years ago; he was a heavy smoker and once they found it, it was too late. He got great care though. ((Hug))

WipsGlitter Wed 09-Jan-13 18:02:58

We were told that as the main symptom is a heavy cough and as most smokers have a cough anyway the majority of cases are found too late.

digerd Wed 09-Jan-13 18:55:33

My DH did not smoke or have a heavy cough and had regular chest X-rays at work. It was not found because the heart throws a shadow and anything behind it cannot be seen.
That is where it was and was diagnosed by a bronchial endoscopy and was on the left side - with secondaries in the brain. His cancer was estimated as beginning 20 years earlier.

I'm sorry OP. No getting round it - these are going to be tough days to get through. Just keep talking as a family. Hug one another and pool your strength whilst you look at what comes next.

MrsApplepants Wed 09-Jan-13 20:11:06

So sorry OP, sending love and strength to you and your family xx

timidviper Wed 09-Jan-13 20:15:32

So sorry OP, thinking of you.

Meganlillymai Wed 09-Jan-13 20:47:35

Thinking of u and ur family. Big hugs from cumbria xx

Small thread hijack - Megan did you get to speak to dd's consultant?

Meganlillymai Wed 09-Jan-13 21:52:28

Yes I did, they couldn't make out her scan as our hospital it shit! So there sendin them to another department in Newcastle but they have got worse sad. Thanks for asking.

Incapinka Wed 09-Jan-13 22:04:44

OP am so sorry to hear what happened today. I had been keeping my fingers crossed for you and your family and will continue to do so. Bastard disease. I can imagine your devastation at the days events and just hope you can all remain as strong as you possibly can and we are all here to hand hold whenever you need us. Since my DMs diagnosis in November we have learnt what an emotional roller coaster cancer is. It devastates you then gives you some hope and then snatches it away again. Really hope you are given some hope again very soon and that you all try to remain positive if you can even though its hard. He is still here so try and make the most of each day... Do you know what they plan to do next? my DM has a very rare form of cancer and a secondary they think but arent sure where. Her only hope on medical grounds is chemo and is already nearing the third cycle and the first scan to see if it is helping. Don't know how we will cope with those results if they aren't showing improvement. As I said earlier bastard disease. Hugs to you and please keep posting if it helps x

50shadesofknackered Wed 09-Jan-13 23:57:30

I'm so sorry for your dad and your family ((hug))

MumOfStan Thu 10-Jan-13 05:17:34

So sorry to read this and like Inca above I too know exactly what this b*****d disease does to a family. I am also so sorry you were given hope and then had it taken away. I can't imagine what that feels like. Let's hope he gets swift follow up with an oncologist and that there is some kind of chemo regime which might offer help. Big hugs to you and your family.

Thinking of you and your dad OP

Megan - hope you get some more news soon.

yani Thu 10-Jan-13 13:27:21

OP- Sorry to hear your news. Strength to you and your family.

Olderkidsaremine Mon 14-Jan-13 16:28:47

Dad wasn't told the evening of his operation they left it until Thursday Morning to tell him - he seemed to take it well but was drugged up on morphine and had an epidural in and also some other stuff which all in all left him very sleepy and in considerable pain so how much he took in we didn't know! But he needed to be told again on Saturday by mum and myself at different times.

On Saturday evening he was transferred to Critical Care - I thought it was one down from Intensive Care but its the same thing in this hospital! Because his lung had collapsed - his bad lung not his good one - and was on a cpap (sp) machine overnight. That is a phone call I never want to receive again!

We spent all day there yesterday and the surgeon came in and had to tell him again that he couldn't take out his lung - he had asked me on Saturday why he was in so much pain if they hadn't taken it out and I had to explain that they didn't know the extent of the cancer until they had opened him up.

My poor Dad, he's in pain, he's now confused and we haven't been told what the next plan is whether chemo or radiotherapy and when its going to take place.

I hate this, I think I'm coping with stuff and then look in the mirror and think 'oh no you're not' I'm constantly on the verge of tears, not eating properly as have no appetite - even chocolate isn't doing the trick - and was awake early this morning watching the snow fall!!

digerd Mon 14-Jan-13 17:34:13

My DH had the other type of lung cancer, so I don't know anything about his squamous cell type. But am still shocked that they couldn't tell how bad it was with all the CT and PET scans he had. And so sorry that he is now in terrible pain and the op wasn't possible.
Keep us posted. Our thoughts , sympathy and well wishes are with you

longingforsomesleep Mon 14-Jan-13 22:56:22

olderkidsaremine - my heart goes out to you. It's little more than a year since I lost my dad to lung cancer. Did the surgeon not give you any indication of whether or not there was any further treatment they could offer? Once the hospital finally diagnosed my dad (having diagnosed him 2 weeks earlier with "a chest infection") they were very good about making sure we had all the facts and what the outlook was. They also arranged for someone to come and talk us through the options of him going into a hospice or us nursing him at home and the consultant who told us what his outlook was said we could ring his office any time if we had any further questions.

Could you ask the ward doctors to arrange for someone to come and talk you through what happens next? And can't they give your dad more pain relief? It's a truly horrible thing for you all to be going through and you have all my sympathy.

Meganlillymai Sun 17-Feb-13 20:44:40

Anymore news x

Olderkidsaremine Mon 18-Feb-13 00:36:16

Thanks for the interest Megan. It seems so long ago since my last post and its a shock to realise that its only a little over a month ago! Well Dad made a remarkable recovery in the end and was home on the Wednesday after his weekend in Critical Care - very sore, still confused as to why he had to go through the operation if they couldn't take out the lung but was able to eat well and seemed more his normal self.

Since then we have had a trip back to see the oncologist who said that chemo and radiotherapy was the way to go and also told Dad it was unlikely that it would be a cure, which confirmed what the rest of us was thinking but made him happy that he had a chance.

Chemo started on the 7th Feb and apart from hiccups - which is a side effect of the chemo drug - he seemed OK, very sleepy but we all expected that, he then took to falling! Apparently caused by low blood pressure. Also on the 7th he went and got marked out for the radiotherapy. Mum then had a call last Wednesday saying the radiotherapy couldn't go ahead as it was to close to the area where he had it 10 years ago! Mum was and is devastated what little chance she thought he had has diminished little by little as more things can't be done for him. Not sure if the rest of us have really taken it in that if he can't tolerate the side effects of the chemo - which involve sickness nausea and a very sore mouth - then his chances of him living for very long are getting shorter and shorter! Today he has also complained about a pain in his chest - he never complains so it must be pretty bad

I seem to be OK at the moment getting on with work and life in general, keeping kids updated about what is happening etc. I've found that if I occupy my hands then my brain gets a rest from thinking so have knitted a scarf, played computer games and have started to redecorate!!

Meganlillymai Mon 18-Feb-13 21:57:16

Ur doing well and so is ur father. My mum had some news as her breast screening came back irregular and she's to go for more scans. Asoon as she told me this I rememberd what you wer going through and thought of ur father. It's a scary time. Praying for our parents.

Olderkidsaremine Mon 18-Feb-13 23:16:30

He was taken into hospital today with an infection! Not sure where but had a chest x ray to check if it was in the bad lung.

I was OK but not now.

Hopes its good news about your mum Megan and that they are being super efficient.

Meganlillymai Tue 19-Feb-13 08:27:53

She's just gone for her appointment, will keep u updated. Lets hope it's not ur fathers bad lung. Cancer is a horrible thing I'm in such a mood a dive had to send my little girl who's only 1. To her dads I don't want to be mad around her :-( let me no how ur dad gets on. Fingers crossed for him thanks

Meganlillymai Thu 21-Feb-13 19:16:59

Test was clear. How's ur father today. X

Olderkidsaremine Sat 23-Feb-13 10:18:37

Glad everything was clear Megan Dads still in hospital - they don't seem to be sure what is wrong with him, supposed to have chemo next week but we don't know if that will go ahead. He was with 2 other men who's cancer seemed more advanced than his and I think it has dawned on him what's going to happen if the chemo doesn't work as he said he felt a bit down yesterday - he never says anything like that he is always 'fine' if asked!

Crap week and my aunt died on Wednesday - mum's sister - so I'm trying to support her but she said she isn't thinking about it Dad is her concern at the moment!

digerd Sat 23-Feb-13 10:58:00

OP my mum died aged 83 when my DH was in hospital for tests with recurring cancer and we knew this time it was much worse than before. I cried over mum once, but my real concern was for DH who was only 57 and in awful pain. That's how it is.

Meganlillymai Sat 23-Feb-13 13:47:55

Sorry to hear about ur loss. Ur dads coping well. Does he get counceling or anyone to talk to. Fingers still crossed x

Meganlillymai Thu 21-Mar-13 22:28:04

Anymore news Hun x

Olderkidsaremine Sun 07-Jul-13 16:27:57

Just an update, its now 7 months since the non removal operation and Dad has had 2 rounds of chemo - couldn't complete the course as his blood count was too low - but was able to have all the radiotherapy sessions. Was pretty unwell at times but got through it all. We are now waiting for a new scan and a meeting with the oncologist on the 8th August. He seems to be doing well, eating well and fairly happy in himself which in turn helps everyone else to carry on - except my brother who is still with his head in the sand but I can't control how he thinks about things and he has his wife to help him out as he been next to useless in supporting me!

Now its my Mum having problems - stroke type symptoms and only a couple of days ago went blind in one eye for a few hours!!

Writing things down at the time helped so much and made me realise that I wasn't alone and that mumsnetters had been in the same position and got through it so so could I.

digerd Sun 07-Jul-13 16:57:12

You and your mum have had a long period of traumatic worry, since November. Sorry your DM is now unwell. Your dad has done really well, considering all the set backs he has had. "eating well and happy in himself* is a really good sign.
Good luck for the scan results.

Meganlillymai Thu 18-Jul-13 17:00:26

Great news that you're dad if feeling happy in himself.

Sorry about your mum though, good luck with the scan results your father is a trooper

Olderkidsaremine Fri 09-Aug-13 16:58:00

Hi All

Well the 8th has come and gone with the good news that the cancer has shrunk!!! smile Not gone but definitely smaller.

Dad will have a follow uup scan or x ray in two months time and we will see what will happen from then.

It certainly wasn't the result I was expecting but so glad it exceeded it, I don't think it has really sunk in yet but I'm certainly happier than I have been for a while.

digerd Fri 09-Aug-13 17:44:12

Great news smile. What a relief for you all. wine to celebrate.

Meganlillymai Mon 19-Aug-13 17:49:13

WOW That's fabulous news!! I'm really pleased for you and your family and especially your father. wine flowers

Olderkidsaremine Mon 02-Dec-13 22:13:53

Hello everyone

Its been over a year since I started this thread and I'm pleased to say that Dad is still around. There is a big but though, in that at the last scan it showed some thickening on the bad lung which they couldn't say for sure wasn't the lung cancer becoming more active.

We were also told that regardless dad wouldn't be offered any further treatment, neither radiotherapy or chemotherapy.

We know that the cancer is becoming more active, dad has lost his voice - either the cancer has wrapped itself around the nerve controlling the vocal chord or the radiotherapy has affected it. He has lost his appetite and finding it more of a struggle to get up and down the stairs and in and out of bed. He's had two lots of antibiotics in the last 6 weeks and generally he is getting weaker, also he seems to have given up - Mum threatened him with going into hospital if he didn't eat and drink and he just shrugged his shoulders.

I think that this is now the beginning of the end and are hoping that he makes it through to Christmas.

helzapoppin2 Tue 03-Dec-13 10:28:09

Glad Dad is still with you, but sorry to hear he is not so well.
My best wishes for a peaceful Christmas for all of you.
Love and hugs x

Saminthemiddle Tue 03-Dec-13 10:41:48

Happy for you that you have had another year with your dad but it isn't easy is it, I had the same with my mum. Lets hope he has Christmas with you all, lots of love and hugs too xxx

Meganlillymai Tue 11-Feb-14 09:56:49

Hope you all enjoyed a peaceful Xmas and new year. Good to see you got to spend it with dad thanks

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