Is this PND again?

[Fedup2]

Today I have felt absolutely terrible. I have ds1 who is 4 and very naughty and dd2 whose 1 and very clingy, all day i have felt like crying and cannot be bothered to so much as pick a tissue up off the floor, i have had to stop myself a couple of times from shouting at ds1 and hence sent him to bed early for trying to pick her sister up by her neck. I was diagnosed with reactive depression when dd2 was a couple of months old due to lack of help, it is just my dh and me with no other help and sometimes dh is more of a hinderance than a help. I got bad PND with ds1 but this wasn't diagnosed until he was 5months. I just feel as tho I cannot be bothered and want to lie on the sofa and eat all day, i don't feel like this every day but do tend to feel quite peeved often during the day, dh says he doesn't know what to do and leaves it at that doesn't offer any other support, i really don't know what to do and cannot be bothered to go out of the house sometimes which I know is bad for the kids. I don't know where to turn next and we have to wait 3 weeks for an appointment at our doctors.

[WideWebWitch]

Fedup2, this sounds horrible. Could you try telling the doctor that it is urgent that you see someone, you think you may be depressed and see if they'll fit you in earlier? How would DH react if you asked for help with very specific things, like putting the children to bed/cooking etc? 2 under 5 is hard work (haven't done it but just believe it to be so!) so maybe you are feeling the strain of it but if you suspect pnd it really might be worth pushing for an earlier appointment. I can imagine though that being pushy is the last thing you feel like doing. Could dh make this call for you and explain the situation at least? Good luck.

[Fedup2]

In our relationship I am the most forceful (not the boss just the most outspoken) so he wouldn't ring for me. He will put dd1 to bed but not dd2 as he says she 'won't settle for him' which is the answer I get when I ask him to do anything for her. He is a good cook and doesn't mind cooking but it's always fatty food which don't interest me. The only thing i feel like doing sleeping but can't do that with a baby that is very very restless during the night and is always waking up.

[soyabean]

Fedup2: Poor you, sorry to read this, 2 under 5 is very hard work, its relentless. I think Www is right that you should maybe ask for an earlier appointment at the doctors. They should be sympathetic if they know how you're feeling and the fact that you've been depressed before. Do you think yr dd would settle to sleep better with yr dh if he tried to do it 2 or 3 nights in a row? Maybe if you actually went out, so that he couldnt fall back on you if it was difficult? It is very hard to feel that everyone else is dependent on you, and there is noone for you to lean on. Can he be encouraged into this role if you tell him how serious this is for you? I guess the other thing would be to work at getting yr dd to sleep better, but realistically that can be very hard work and stressful, so probably not what you need right now. I am sure there are lots of threads with ideas about how to do that though.

[clucks]

Fedup2, I do really feel for you. I have suffered with PND and still have bad days. I have read on one of the threads here about homestart(I think that's what they're called) if there's one in your area. I believe they are able to offer support practically and emotionally and would be a good starting point while you are waiting to see the GP. I'm afraid I can't do links and things but perhaps you could search on here. All the best.

[madmummy]

Fedup2 - sorry you're feeling so s##t. I haven't had pnd (though have suffered depression in the past), but do sometimes feel like you describe (see going mad thread ) - hormonal I think. My dd also v clingy at the mo which just means you have no time to yourself doesn't it - must be more difficult with another one too. You've done well imo to stop yourself shouting. Do you know other mums locally ? Are there any good toy library / parent toddler groups ? Is there a playgroup dd could go to ? I know it seems impossible when you're right in the midst of depression, but I've found that (apart from mumsnet) getting out and talking to mums, even just mundane day to day stuff, just gives me enough feeling of normality to push on through the day. Maybe you and dh together can tackle dd's sleep problems - if you could get better sleep, you'd have a bit more strength to cope. And keep writing it down - that definitely helped me. All the best to you. This message sent with big hug.

[Fedup2]

Today is starting off even worse than yesterday. Ds1 started being naughty and cheeky within minutes of getting up this morning. The first time since she was born dd2 slept past 4.30 and ds1 was laid in my bed slapping my face to wake me up. Dd2 got up at 6am, ds1 woke at 5.15 and dh put him in with me thinking he would go back to sleep. Then as i was making coffee all the water splashed on me soaking me through and then to top it all ds1 and dd2 would not eat their breakfast and once again i ended up covered, but this time in weetabix. Phoned the doctors and the doctor i see is on holiday next week then booked solid for the following two weeks of her return. They have my name and number and will ring me back with any cancellations they may get. Plus it is a lovely day here and I can't go out as we have workmen in the house. Can things really get any better.

[mum2toby]

Oh Fedup2, how awful for you! I don't know if you know my history, but I suffer from PND, but it wasn't diagnosed until ds was 18mths old (about 6weeks ago). I hid it very well from the HV!!
People must be getting right sick of me raving on about this, but my GP recommended a homeopathic rememdy called Sepia. You can buy it in most chemists or health shops and it's been wonderful for me just as an extra crutch during really low times. You seem to be under a lot of stress just now so perhaps you're feeling this immense strain rather than having a relapse of PND, but whatever is causing you to feel so bad you need to talk to your GP (3 weeks wait!!!). In the meantime, why don't you try Sepia..... it has no side effects and it worked for me almost straight away!

Good luck and keep us all posted.

[Fedup2]

I am under stress I must admit, dh doesn't help as much as he could< dd2 doesn't sleep through & is clingy and we are having work done on our house at the minute so it is all very upside down. Can Sepia be taken with anti-depressants as I am still on Cipralex for my reactive depression. Don't you find that alot of people don't really understand depression? Alot of people who have never suffered tend to think it is all fake and a figment of the imagination. Luckily my husband supportive but doesn't know what to do. I have phoned him 4 times today crying and he then gets upset because there is no way he can get home until he finishes at 8pm. I know that to help depression you need to getout of the house but I am overweight and the kids here are very ignorant I wish I had a pound for every time I get called things.

[jac34]

Fedup2,
I know you said you had the builders in, but is there anyway you can just leave them, and get the kids out of the house for an hour.
Even if its just to the swings or something, take a packed lunch. I often do this when I feel at bursting point, it will certainly calm you down, the kids usually eat better if it's a "picnic", and if they do throw it about, it's outdoors.

[breeze]

Dear fedup, I am sorry to hear that things are awful for you at the moment, it is truely horrible, my ds is 3.25 and i have had pnd since he was about 3 months (diagnosed at 8 months), i know exactly how you feel. I am having more good days than bad days, but your right in getting people to understand, i had the best hubby who was very supportive, if you want to talk directly to me, then please ask mumsnet to pass on your email address and i would be happy to talk to you (i know some things we do when depressed is embarrasing). If not hope you are feeling better soon.

i would ask your gp for an urgent appointment, you just might need to increase your dosage while you are feeling like this, speak to the doctor first. Good luck

[Fedup2]

Thanks breeze, I sent an e-mail to tech earlier with my e-mail address.

Sorry to say I still feel S**t even though kids are in bed and dh went and got me a takeout, he is watching tele, but all the things he watches are about an hr long and there is no way I can concentrate on something that long, I get bored with television anyway.

[breeze]

yeah i was the same, found it difficult to concentrate, just ended up walking about and stuff.

You have no interest in anything, and my whole life seemed to concentrate around my next meal. I had alot of chocolate and take-aways too.

It is hard for dh because they really do not know what do do or say for the best, just end up getting at them anyway.

I know tech is away at the moment, did you send it to contact@mumsnet, thats the one i used before and they sent it ok. As soon as i receive your email i will let you know, so you can have a good rant. I know you could read books, but i found it a lot easier talking to someone who had suffered from it. Anyway hope this evening gets better for you.

I remember trying to get to sleep the worse, took me ages and then i would wake a short time later with cold sweats.

Thinking of you. Speak soon

[tomps]

fedup2 - any family / friends / neighbours / babysitter ... could look after your 2 for a couple of hours so you could have some time to yourself or even with dh ?

[breeze]

Fedup2, Hope today is a better day, thinking of you .

[Fedup2]

Thanks for the messages, I haven't got any family and his mother is not the most reliable to have them.

My bestfriend has offered to come and look after them one night for me so we can go out, she's doing exams at the minute so I don't know when that will be.

Not been crying as much today but dh was in a grump mood cos he had to get up early (5.45) with dd2 and I had a lie in till 8. He was grumpy all day and took it out on the kids, he is always determined to wake me up when I have a lie in, he makes as much noise as possible banging upstairs and shouting at the kids etc.

He's gone to work thank goodness so I'm going to have a curry a couple of lagers and have an early night I think, no doubt he'll make loads of noise when he comes in in the morning so I get out of bed for him.

[kizzie]

Fedup2 - have you tried ringing your health visitor. If you tell them how they are feeling they should arrange an urgent appointment for you with doctor.

[mum2toby]

Fedup2 - How are you today? Have you managed to speak to a GP or HV??

[kizzie]

mum2toby - do you know if you are able to take sepia with antidepressants - I am trying to come off mine but having problems.

[mum2toby]

Yes Kizzie, you can take Sepia with almost anything coz it's homeopathic. You get it in 2 dose levels: 6c and 30c. 6c is better for a more chronic problem like PND. 30c is more for a boost during the bad times around your period etc etc.

Give it a go and let me know what you think. Good luck!

[kizzie]

Thanks -I'll give it a try.

[Fedup2]

Well, I managed to get a last minute appointment this morning and my doctor has said it is PND again, I am so annoyed with myself, I thought I was coping quite well. She was quite concerned about how I'd been feeling like this for a while.
She has put me on a new anti-depressant which I start tomorrow and on a 50g dosage instead of the 10g, she offered Prozac but have heard bad things about that.

Thanks again for the comments and support

[bundle]

Fedup2, glad she took your problems seriously and you are on the way to getting sorted out. Get some more take aways or stuff you can just bung in the oven and see if any of your friends have other babysitters you know you can rely on. be kind to yourself and feel free to vent !

[kizzie]

Glad you got to see the doctor. Don't be annoyed with yourself - you HAVE been coping brilliantly!
As you probably know the tablets take a while to kick in but I hope you start to feel better soon.

[Fedup2]

Thanks for your support, it's just what I need, I've just been reading about the tablets i've been put on on the internet as I'd never heard of them, they are supposed to be non-habit forming which is a plus side and the dose can be increased (hopefully it won't need to be). I'm feeling particularly rough today as I have a cold now and got 30 minutes sleep last night because of a teething baby, the house is a mess but i cannot be bothered to clean and the mess makes me worse as i am usually very very houseproud and don't like a thing out of place. Feeling really off it today and fancy a big big bar of chocolate and a bottle of red wine, (have neither so I'll have a cuppa and a biccie)