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When having a smear, has the nurse ever found it hard to find your cervix?

(56 Posts)
Tortington Sun 29-Jul-07 01:32:56

i had a smear last week and the nurse said " your cervix is nice and central"

" that a good thing?" says i

" well it's just that some go to the left or to the right and yours is perfectly centered"

even got a perfect flange - how lucky am i?

so when people say beauty is on the inside i acan say "I KNOW!"

yelnats Sun 29-Jul-07 00:23:55

I got this last time - not long after dd2 was born. THought it must've been something to do with having recently given birth.

hester Sun 29-Jul-07 00:12:41

The super skinny speculum is called 'The Winterton'. This always makes me think of Ann Winterton MP, her with the lemon-sucking face, which is a good image to conjure with when you're trying to relax your knees.

Katy44 Thu 26-Jul-07 16:04:48

WHat did she say Effie?

EffiePerine Wed 25-Jul-07 22:02:09

she was really quite rude

it was my 6 week check so I had a good excuse

pointydog Wed 25-Jul-07 21:55:02

No pelvic floor discussion for me. Had to talk about my holiday in france while nurse re-entered. Felt liek saying, 'let's forget it'

FlameParakeet Wed 25-Jul-07 21:51:57

tears of laughter!

EffiePerine Wed 25-Jul-07 21:43:28


EffiePerine Wed 25-Jul-07 21:43:15

at those with obviously aut pelvic floors - gp severely dissed my pelvic floor at my last smear

she did find my cervix (eventually) - think the pelvic floor was blanketing it somehow

LadyTophamSortingHatt Wed 25-Jul-07 21:40:43

yes, every time.

pointydog Wed 25-Jul-07 21:40:00

just prod it a bit with one of the long speculums. A bit like pushing back cuticles

I have found this thread very interesting

FrannyandZooey Wed 25-Jul-07 21:36:10

No but thank you for the suggestion

I have in fact had intercourse with gentlemen other than dp before drawing my conclusions

this thread is going BADLY wrong, isn't it?

<escorts self from thread hurriedly>

pointydog Wed 25-Jul-07 21:34:17

maybe your dp has a super skinny long penis

ever thought of that, eh?

pointydog Wed 25-Jul-07 21:33:03

rofl and splutter @ franny

FrannyandZooey Wed 25-Jul-07 21:30:42

Ooh, get you lot with your fancy high cervices

mine just squats there waiting to be banged uncomfortably during intercourse

any old fool with a marigold could find it

FlameParakeet Wed 25-Jul-07 21:30:41

lmao!!! This all reminds me of when I went for an internal scan (non pg), and the doc is saying to her student "And here should be the second ovary" <cue them both peering intently at the screen and making me move>

foxcub Wed 25-Jul-07 21:26:35

Yes every time - my passage is all bendy and they can never find it...

gess Wed 25-Jul-07 21:25:53

Is it retroverted. I've been party to many a conversation about the position of my cervix. During birth/miscarriage & smear tests! And as for the attempt at using a cap. OH MY GOD. They had to bring in the nurse with extra large hands......

LadySnotAlot Wed 25-Jul-07 21:25:28

Yup, mine is very high and tilts backwards. I like to be awkward. To top it off, I have to go for a smear every bloody year! That reminds me, got another one to book now

pointydog Wed 25-Jul-07 21:22:40

look at you all with your knowledge of super long speculums. Like a secret society

mummytosteven Wed 25-Jul-07 21:14:02

Smear no 1- awful, took over 1/2 hour for the FPC nurse to find it, as apparently mine was so far back, I should have had super plus long speculum

Smear no 2- told GP the problems the first time, she did an internal first to find my cervix, then the smear itself was no trouble, really quick and easy. Apparently my cervix is tilted.

Pruners Wed 25-Jul-07 21:11:46

Message withdrawn

lou33 Wed 25-Jul-07 21:03:51

i just brazen it out, and tell them they wont find it unless they get their longest speculum lol

pointydog Wed 25-Jul-07 20:51:13

I'll have a super skinny long one with extra gel, please

suey2 Wed 25-Jul-07 20:01:34

home now. Katy44 i am due in december. much relieved to read your post! Will try and do massage myself (am physio) if i can reach by then!

Katy44 Wed 25-Jul-07 19:08:56

How do you bring that up?
"Yes it IS a lovely day, and oh by the way, can I have the 'Super' speculum, please?"

lou33 Wed 25-Jul-07 19:07:44

i ahve to tell them to use the extra long ones

Katy44 Wed 25-Jul-07 19:06:15

Have an impression of someone with his head up there, shouting hellooooooooooo
Sorry if TMI, and not about you personally

Well I have had a baby KatyM bit roomier these days!

Katy44 Wed 25-Jul-07 18:58:04

What, all at the same time

Mine is tilted to one side, so 2 nurses, GP and MW all had a good rummage last time in order to get a sample

Katy44 Wed 25-Jul-07 18:51:16

No, not at all - no tear, just a slight graze which I wouldn't have noticed if she hadn't told me. (First wee was not a problem either, even though I'd got the jug all ready!)
I did perineal massage once when I decided it was a) uncomfortable b)undignified and c) probably not effective given the half hearted way I was doing it. SO I never did it again (although I did smell like a bakewell tart all night!) The only thing I did do was made sure I didn't push when told not to and panted. It's really hard to concentrate but I think it's worth it.
When are you due?

suey2 Wed 25-Jul-07 18:37:01

No idea if the 2 go together- i reckon it probably just seems thin if my PF is strong. Katy44 did you ahve to have an episiotomy? I am a bit scared as i have read that if you have a strong PF you are much more likely to tear. Lots of raised eyebrows from DH when i described the benefits of perineal massage!

MegaLegs Wed 25-Jul-07 18:33:40

Me too, I remember one where she disapeared and came back with some long tongey things.

During all my labours I had to put my fists under my buttocks and lift myself up to be examined - that was really hard work whilst contracting

SpamFritter Wed 25-Jul-07 18:32:12

ROFL - 'ferret' is conjuring up some odd images in my mind.

Katy44 Wed 25-Jul-07 18:31:16

suey2 - I get that as well (although haven't had an exam since giving birth ) do the 2 go together then?

NadineBaggott Wed 25-Jul-07 18:29:15

oh yes - end up having to hoik my hips in the air every time!

suey2 Wed 25-Jul-07 18:29:01

Certainly saves the 'ooh, you have got a strong pelvic floor haven't you' casual chat as they ferret ever more agonisingly around!

Katy44 Wed 25-Jul-07 18:27:57

Why do they not trim their nails before doing the exam? Would be polite I think.

SpamFritter Wed 25-Jul-07 18:27:13

Oh I'm very roomy lol - need a moonbucket not a cup. Still have to do a lot of rummaging though!

Katy44 Wed 25-Jul-07 18:25:22

I really am
LOL at them not being able to find it
And I didn't realise you could choose your own speculum - can you get a catalog? So you can choose in the privacy and comfort of your own home?

Katy44 Wed 25-Jul-07 18:24:31


suey2 Wed 25-Jul-07 18:17:21

TMI alert- i have a long thin vagina so always have to ask for the special long, thin speculum. Saves a lot of apain and the internal in the middle!

pointydog Wed 25-Jul-07 18:17:21

well yes

just how roomy is it in there

diplodocus Wed 25-Jul-07 18:15:33

You'd think there were a limited number of places it could be, wouldn't you?

pointydog Wed 25-Jul-07 18:14:42

than you all for your reassurance

cervix in tact

pointydog Wed 25-Jul-07 18:14:02

lol @ spam - sure you;re not talking about childbirth?

Katy44 Wed 25-Jul-07 18:12:55

Yes, had this problem the last couple of times.
Also when being examined in labour. Very and painful

lou33 Wed 25-Jul-07 18:02:56

i had my bum about a foot in the air last time

i had my first smear at 17, and have always had the same problem

not age, most cervix are anterior , a few are posterior and it can be sometimes tricky to locate those whichj are very posterior, yes, lots of hands under buttocks and coughing etc.
Patient's hands I hasten to add.

SpamFritter Wed 25-Jul-07 17:54:48

All the time. Much squatting, coughing and lifting of buttocks goes on. Most embarrassing

pointydog Wed 25-Jul-07 17:47:58

oo, is it an age thing I wonder

pointydog Wed 25-Jul-07 17:47:38

ah ok. Maybe I was lying in a funny position.

Started to think some terrible disease must have eaten it away

Twiglett Wed 25-Jul-07 17:47:22

yes happened to me last time, for first time either .. I also found it odd .. and feckin' sore

lou33 Wed 25-Jul-07 17:46:05

every single time

mine is v high and tilts to the side

pointydog Wed 25-Jul-07 17:36:50

Never happened to me before. Found it a bit odd.

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