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embarrassing-Synesthesia? Neurological cause of over crying? asd?

(18 Posts)
whydidhesaythat Sun 10-Jul-16 17:52:44

My eyes cry when I empathise even slightly with something sad, gently funny, gently ironic or with pathos
the problem is, It's completely disproportionate to the level of emotion I feel
So, if a friend is telling me about something slightly sad in her family. I cry. It happens on the school playground if someone is telling me they had a rubbish weekend, or if they tell a joke
It can be very embarrassing:I have had people laugh at me. I have also had someone confide about a sexual assault to me then say"I can see by your reaction this has happened to you too."( it hadn't)
I think It only happens face to face with other women. Sometimes children confide in me because of a role I have but I don't react in the same way.

Tears overflow and I have to pretend I have hayfever but the timing makes it obvious this is not true.
We are quite" spectrumy" in my family.I wonder if it is a reaction to eye contact?
I asked my optician if it was an eye problem- she said no, a brain problem
Any ideas mumsnet?

stealtheatingtunnocks Sun 10-Jul-16 17:55:22

All the women in my family have this.

My grandma says "oor bladders are too close to wur eyes"

Following for helpful information, preferably advice on waterproof mascara.

whydidhesaythat Sun 10-Jul-16 18:00:46

Is yours the same stealth? Appropriate but totally disproportionate? am glad I am not alone!

stealtheatingtunnocks Sun 10-Jul-16 18:15:53

Yep. I weep at the news, it's just so awful. I amn't sad, just empathising for the tragic situations people find themselves in.

Friends being bereaved - chokes me right up. It's embarrassing, it's not my loss, and it's really quite rude to be more upset than the actual family.

And, good things set me off too - like people winning things, or being awarded things, or discovering things.

Have a long track record of choosing partners who were lame ducks, I liked damaged types who need to be cheered up.

Read somewhere that it means I'm empathetic, apparently.

whydidhesaythat Sun 10-Jul-16 19:08:17

Think we are just bonkers

LittleCandle Sun 10-Jul-16 19:29:31

Yes, I have it, too. I also cry when people are angry, even if it has nothing to do with me. And I cry when I get furiously angry as well. Its been the bane of my life! I cry even harder when someone is nice to me when I'm upset.

HappyHeart87 Sun 10-Jul-16 19:31:54

How easily do you catch yawns, OP? Apparently particularly empathetic people catch them very easily. (It was a smug day when I caught one from a dog.)

stealtheatingtunnocks Sun 10-Jul-16 19:35:45

Oh gosh! I do that! I had a problem with a missed flight connection and the nice lady at the desk sorted me out with nothing but kindness. Boo hoo oho. <wipes eyes>

whydidhesaythat Sun 10-Jul-16 19:39:32

Lol at dog

I do catch yawns but think everyone does?

It could be empathy- But other empathetic people don't cry when they listen.

SteveArnottsLoverPlease Sun 10-Jul-16 19:40:23

I have this as well! Thought I was alone in my bonkersness. Can even feel tearful when recalling things not remotely worthy of tears!

I also cry every time I have any kind of tense confrontation. So for example, my boss and I suffer from a clash of personalities, she makes me feel really on edge. I cry ALL the fecking time when I try to speak to her. It's really unprofessional and totally detracts from any valid point I'm making but I struggle with managing it. So annoying. I wish I could control it and make my killer points in a cool, collected way which she would respond to so much better, but I burst into tears every time confused

SteveArnottsLoverPlease Sun 10-Jul-16 19:41:02

I just yawned at the discussion of yawning! blush

Mrscaindingle Sun 10-Jul-16 19:41:35

Can I join in?? This is me too, I have to work really hard not to cry sometimes and I'm sure I come across as being not very caring when I'm actually trying not to show my feelings as they can be overwhelming.

Funnily enough I am a mental health nurse and rarely cry at work and I hear and see very sad things. But with friends and family and the TV I get over involved. I actually cry more at really good news. blush

I've always thought it was hormones myself as I definitely cried more at certain times in my life (pregnancy, menopause)and I just get more hormones or am more susceptible than others

Gatekeeper Sun 10-Jul-16 19:45:50

I cry a lot as well although all the women from my Ma's side of the family are "full of watter"

Also am an anger and frustration crier which I bloody hate and if I'm criticized
I don't know how not to and as I'm 52 it doesn't look like I'm ever going to stop!

whydidhesaythat Sun 10-Jul-16 19:57:59

Yes to crying at things not worthy of tears
Yes to coming across as uncaring because I am hiding the blasted tears

It is as if life was a tear jerking movie at the cinema. You know when you sit there thinking" yeah right she would not fall for him in real life" or " this is a bit boring" but your eyes recognize the emotional pattern and kind of cry Automatically without your heart crying?

whydidhesaythat Sun 10-Jul-16 20:00:11

Ms cain,. Same here I learn some things about a child suffering in my role but it does not provoke the response. But happy news relayed in a certain way does

LittleCandle Sun 10-Jul-16 20:00:42

I've also found connected to this that I am over-sensitive in other ways. It was a GP who suggested to me that I might be a highly sensitive person. I feel hot and cold touch more than others; my skin is actually thinner than normal; there are other things, too. As a 'thing', it is controversial, but the things I have read about it fit and crying like this is part and parcel of it.

Mrscaindingle Sun 10-Jul-16 20:04:35

Absolutely Op I can see that I'm being manipulated by Hollywood films and I get really irritated at myself for tearing up when you can see it coming a mile off but it seems like an automatic response somehow that I have no control over. Very annoying.

whydidhesaythat Sun 10-Jul-16 21:28:24

yes - but Hollywood has some of the world's brightest people figuring out how to get that response.

Our problem seems to be that we are doing the Hollywood thing in real life...

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