EMERGENCY - Toilet problem, help needed

[driveninsanebythehubby]

Hi,

So embarrassed to be posting this - but as stuck on the loo in agony I'm desperate.

I have a stool that I can only presume is the size of a marrow attempting to pass my body. I'm on the verge of saying it's more painful than childbirth (and I had a 4th degree tear with no pain relief at that moment so I know what pain is!). I have attempted to go several times today and it gets so far out and then gets stuck. Like I cannot push anymore because I feel like it's going to rip me apart. I get contraction type waves trying to push it out but it won't come. Because I'm straining, there's then blood too. Earlier I tried using a tissue to grab and pull it out (clearly that worked well!!!!)

I HAVE to get this out tonight as I'm at work tomorrow and I cannot phone my boss to say I'm not coming in because I have a giant shit stuck up my arse!!!

Can anyone at all give me some suggestions to help clear this beast?

PS it's caused by medications that I'm on, a crap diet and probably not enough fluids when exercising this weekend. My routine has never been regular as such (once a week would be 'normal' but I'm sure I only went a few days ago!)

Thank you (and please don't laugh)

[threeelephants]

Hot bath always helps me. Have you got someone with you? Could someone get you some lactulose or similar?

[ApologiesToInsectLife]

Oh dear poor you! Can you get your feet up on a small footstool while your on the pan? It can help with the pushing. Nightmare for you.

[Doinmummy]

You poor thing. Is there a chemist open late to get some glycerine suppositories ?

[driveninsanebythehubby]

Wanker of a husband is here - can't imagine he'd feel remotely inclined to go out of his way to try to help me?....

[winnybella]

Glycerin suppositories.

[HappyGoLuckyGirl]

Pure orange juice. Then coffee.

If that doesn't work you may need some meds to soften it.

[iniquity]

Vaseline the rim :)

[Doinmummy]

I think it needs attacking from the bottom rather than from the top if you get my drift . If it's stuck then everything else will just build up above it.

[QOD]

Ahem

I have to use Vaseline or similar on the finger ... I really hope you're not the poo troll ... as I get similar (also due to.meds)

[Twilightpirate]

Poor you! That sounds horrible!!

Do you have any haemorrhoid ointment lying around? If so, put a generous amount of that "up there" and around the entrance. It will numb the pain and also acts as a lubricant! Saved me after the birth of DC1 when even the thought of going to the loo was enough to make me feel faint!
Good luck!!

[driveninsanebythehubby]

Off to find kids foot stall... Thanks!

If not, I'm guessing I'm off to the pharmacy (hope it's open)

[PrincessHairyMclary]

Orange juice, big glass of water, put your feet on a step stool.

[chocdonutyy]

Glycerol suppositries help in this situation, I'm presuming some sort of lube may do the same thing and also lifting your feet up on a stool/few books so you are kind of squatting should assist a little 😊

[steppemum]

sorry to be blunt, but you need to get something up your bum to soften the pooh. the glycerine suppositories sound good

[Doinmummy]

Try putting Vaseline up your bum

[Orchidflower1]

Can you rub some Vaseline or something similar around the opening? What about getting off the toilet and squatting over a bowl? - this helped dd .

[chickendrizzlecake]

Have you got some Anusol or other haemorroid cream you can use to numb the area? If you've got blood you've probably already made a tear or small fissure in your passage and getting this motion past the tear is going to be grim sorry, but those creams really do help!

[IMurderedStampyLongnose]

Try pushing up on your vagina and in front of your back passage to help guide it out.If you can't get out for glycerin and it's coming out a bit cut your nails short and stick one finger up and try to break it up a bit.Good luck,it can be grim

[Cocolepew]

Pu up feet up on a stool or something and lean back to open your bum hole. Then push on your perninum (dp) or around that area, that sometimes pushes it out.

[Doinmummy]

Phone OOH doc

[camelfinger]

Poor you, it sounds very painful. Good advice above re Vaseline, raising knees and suppositories. Would it hurt too much to jog about a bit? Running always churns up poo for me.

[driveninsanebythehubby]

Trying the Vaseline already - sitting on the loo waiting for the next wave to come and urge to push!

I almost wish I were a 'poo troll' as then this wouldn't be happening to me.

It happened once before this bad after my 3rd son. In the end it was so bad I couldn't get off the loo - found blowing my nose helped. But this feels worse.

[driveninsanebythehubby]

Just checking - are those suppositories available over the counter?

Thanks for all the fast answers!

[earlyriser]

Try blowing up a balloon (or just pretend if you don't have one at hand). The blowing our action is meant to help. Failing that, coffee and a cigarette

[numberseventeen]

Lie down and pedal with your legs in the air, and rock back and forth on loo. I've not been affected before but it was once a regular thing for ds. You have my sympathy