Can sleep deprivation trigger a late miscarriage?

[ilovechocolate80]

Last night, due to my partner saying some incredibly upsetting things to me, I became very tearful and distressed. I couldn't sleep as a result ando had about 2 hours at best. Then I got up and did a full day working in a secondary school.
I've never in my life not slept for such little time ando I'm scared it will trigger a miscarriage.
I feel ok now - surprisingly awake. Partner will not be here tonight after his actions and I'm planning on getting a load of sleep. I'm so worried such an extreme lack of sleep will cause a miscarriage. I'm 35, 2 older kids and almost 20 weeks. Please help!

[Whatdoidohelp]

Are you for real?

One bad night sleep and a day at work and you think that will cause a miscarriage. It won't.

[mudandmayhem01]

Whatdo that was a very rude dismissal of someone's concerns. To reassure you I have never heard of sleep deprivation causing miscarriages. It is very common for women with a second or third pregnancy to be very sleep deprived by the way!

[cosmicglittergirl]

I had pregnancy insomnia both times, and some nights only had 3/4 hours sleep, a pattern that went on for months. Not sleeping in pregnancy is quite common amd does not lead to miscarriage.

[notquitehuman]

Lets be nice to OP. She's clearly distressed.

No, sleep deprivation alone shouldn't cause a miscarriage. I have a sleep disorder, and it was way worse during pregnancy, but my baby was fine. I think I had many nights of 2-3 hours. Lots of women find themselves unable to sleep because of discomfort, needing to pee every 5 minutes etc and have normal pregnancies.

[ilovechocolate80]

Thank you all SO MUCH. My head is a mess and two hours sleep seemed such an extreme. Partner really upset me and I expect honestly not been that upset for years and it's hard to think straight. Partner ( been together 3 years and not living together - due to him) and I had a bad day as he's giving up smoking. His grumpy sniping got to me. We had a calm argument in whichis, out of the blue, he decided to tell me that "he would not be a nice ex. He'd make life hell." He then went on to say "he'd go to court for full custody". I replied in horror "would you actually do that to me if thinks didn't work out?!". He said it depended on "what I'd done". I pointed out to him that my two wonderful, happy and healthy children were a testament to my parenting and that babies need their mums. He simply and coldly replied that "they only need them for the firat year or two. He'd wait for a bit then come". I was so utterly shocked at hearing him say all that I dissolved into tears. He apologised. Said he didn't mean it. We watched TV. Went to bed. Lay there together and I just broke down. He couldn't understand why I was so upset. I cried for an hour then couldn't sleep until 5.30. I don't know what to think. He's really, really scared me. He's my age and has been in the army all his life - 6 violent, front line tours of service. Terrible childhood. No experience of children. How he could say and propose 'hypothetically' to 'take full custody' of our baby - our unborn baby that I'm carrying - has blown my mind. So there you go. Allot of confusion and worry and sadness in my head right now.

You've all given me one less thing to feel scared about so thank you xx

[ilovechocolate80]

Should add that he has since apologised and promised to 'never do that'. He claims comments were 'rhetoric' and I've 'over reacted'.

[fusspot66]

When a man tells you who he is, believe him.
So sorry OP.

[cosmicglittergirl]

That would upset me to be fair. Be careful OP.

[ilovechocolate80]

Going to be Cosmic. Hoping that he just said it because he's feeling defensive and a bit overwhelmed about becoming a father. He's never said something as cruel and insensitive to me before - that's why it was such a shock. He's apologised allot - but still holds that I overreacted and read too much into it. How else could I have read into that. I still don't know what to make of it. He's not coming over until we get passed this somehow. Don't know where my loving partner has gone. :(. Will sleep tonight. Grateful we don't live together yet now.

[SpeakNoWords]

If he's still saying that you "overreacted" and "read too much into it" then isn't as sorry as he should be. He should be abjectly apologising to you with no caveats, accepting that what he said was completely beyond the pale, and your reactions were normal. How on earth did he expect you to react when he said that?!

[Mouthfulofquiz]

Gosh, what aggressive horrible words to say to the mother of his baby. I'm not surprised you were so upset. He should be sincerely apologising and changing his ways, not critisising you for your reaction. What a twat.

[ilovechocolate80]

ThankYou Speak and Mouth. That is exactly what I think and how I feel!

[LivingInMidnight]

I would definitely take a step back at this point. To say things like that knowing full well the reaction it would cause is disgraceful. Then to say you overreacted?! Definitely watch your step with this man! You don't need someone causing you this level of stress.

Hope you're ok

[cosmicglittergirl]

Better sleep tonight hopefully.

[RatherBeRiding]

On a purely practical note, it's not called "custody" any more - and there isn't a cat in hell's chance a court would award him full residency (if that's the correct terminology). Think the courts are keen on shared parenting but he obviously has no grounds to attempt full residency.

However, that is an aside and the real issue is why he has been so nasty about this? It sounds very worrying and I can't believe he would just come out with something like that out of nowhere, as it were.

Again - on a practical level - you are not married. Not even living together by the sound of it. You don't have to put his name on the birth certificate you know. He can apply to the courts for parental authority if you decline to name him when you register the birth, but would be bother?

In your shoes I would be thinking seriously about the future of the relationship. It doesn't bode well, sorry.