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DH under the knife this morning. Need distracting...

(78 Posts)
oenophilia Tue 22-Apr-14 09:16:40

He's having a triple bypass and I genuinely believe all the platitudes I'm repeating to myself - all the "It's far and away the best option", "what was the alternative - a heart attack?", "Just think how much better he'll be once he's recovered". Just at the moment I'm feeling very lonely, useless and nauseous. That's normal, right? Keep getting lovely texts, FB messages etc saying we' re in their thoughts, prayers etc so plenty of RL virtual support . Just need to keep going until I hear...

grimbletart Tue 22-Apr-14 11:58:24

Hang in there oenophilia. I'v found that cleaning out the detergent drawer on the washing machine is a good distraction technique.

My good friend in Australia had his triple bypass 16 years ago. He is currently cycling round New Zealand!

Very best wishes.

Bearandcub Tue 22-Apr-14 11:58:44

How's it going oenophilia? Just to let you know you're all on my mind.

I've had to turn the heating on this morning. Weather this neck of the woods is bizarre. Rain but warm, overcast but v cool. I think sleep deprivation might have something to do with it.

Have you been watching anything interesting lately? Or reading anything decent?

(Yes it's inane chit-chat as a distraction.)

oenophilia Tue 22-Apr-14 12:17:34

Obsessing that I was told it would be three hours and that I would be rung directly after he was transferred to ICU. I've been report writing. Fortunately there are editors who will let me know if I've written goobledegook before they go anywhere near clients. He was going down to theatre at 8 and they expected to start operating at 9. It's now 12.12 and I have no nails.
Was really looking forward to Jamaica Inn on the telly last night as it's one of my favorite books, Got DH to read it last month and he immediately re-read it again as it was so good. Thought the telly looked properly brooding but the indoor scenes were so dark I couldn't see what was going on. Don't want to put any music on in case I don't hear the phone and don't want to go the loo in case I can't get back quick enough (and don't want to take the phone with me because it will make it harder to speak).
You're right about the weather. I usually turn the heating off after the clocks change but I'm sitting here frozen. May fetch comfy gilet. Have also eaten most of the remaining simnel cake without realising.

Sparklingbrook Tue 22-Apr-14 12:24:24

Hi oenophila no experience to offer but just wanted to say hope all goes ok, and your call comes soon. xx

I too am frozen, it's drizzling and horrible here.

Inane chit chat. There was a man on This Morning who had spent ££££s on facial plastic surgery and actually looked worse than when he started. He was a v attractive man before. confused

Oooh and Victoria Cohen has won £400,000 playing poker. shock

oenophilia Tue 22-Apr-14 12:29:37

I wonder how much she staked! I gave up playing the National Lottery when they put the tickets up to £2. I was buying 3 when they were £1 and that seemed like a sensible limit. But £4 and only get 2 chances -meurgh. So that didn't work then.
12.29. When am I allowed to ring them?

Nocomet Tue 22-Apr-14 12:33:49

All I can say is I have a beautiful 7 year old Dniece who wouldn't exist and a lovely 11 year old DNephew who quite possibly wouldn't have a DF if it wasn't for heart bypass surgery.

It really is magic and I hope your DH has a smooth and speedy recovery.

oenophilia Tue 22-Apr-14 12:37:19

Phone just rang. Leaped in the air. Elderly and deaf FIL wanting news. GET OFF THE RUDDY LINE!!!!

Sparklingbrook Tue 22-Apr-14 12:38:14

I think you are allowed to ring whenever you like TBH.

More inane chat-I have just rung the Ovenclean man. <excited>

IamtheZombie Tue 22-Apr-14 12:38:14

Zombie had a lumpectomy in 1992. It was a longish procedure as they had to insert a thin wire into the breast using mammograms to position the tip of the wire in the middle of the area to be excised. She then went up to theatre for the operation.

At some point DH arrived. He first went to the ward who told him she was in Breast Imaging. Breast imaging told him she was up in theatre. He wandered around a bit, found the lift to the floor the operating theatres were on and went up. When he got to the security door he punched in the code that was used in all of the London County Courts (he was a solicitor and deputy district judge). The door opened and in he went. He was wearing a 3 piece suit and everyone assumed he was a consultant. Until he said he was looking for his wife.

He was sent away and told to wait on the ward. grin grin grin

Thinking of you, oneo. Will glare at my phone on your behalf.

Distraction? My DS told my rather easily shocked grandparents that he had drawn an octopus with 8 testicles the other day. Imagine their expressions.

ajandjjmum Tue 22-Apr-14 12:58:10

I've been through the tearing my hair out stage when DS has been 'in theatre' for twice as long as they said. What they had forgotten to mention was that it didn't allow for the time in recovery, and they (quite rightly) don't rush.

He'll be fine - but I know that won't help much at the moment.

oenophilia Tue 22-Apr-14 13:07:22

Thanks Mimsy. My DDs were a slithy tove and a mome rath not that long ago. The latter's outgrabing made me particularly proud.

oenophilia Tue 22-Apr-14 13:30:22

OK can't wait any longer. Ringing.

oenophilia Tue 22-Apr-14 13:33:03

Shit. Still in theatre. He went in at 9 and it was supposed to take three hours max. They've told me to ring back at 3. Not sure how to do this

MegCleary Tue 22-Apr-14 13:47:27

Deep breath cup of tea and hang in there.

oenophilia Tue 22-Apr-14 13:52:48

Tea. Good plan. Feel sick.

onlyjoking Tue 22-Apr-14 14:04:36

NHS time and our time are very different. If they say 3 hours they mean at least six. The waiting is awful, I hope you get news that it went very well very soon.

MegCleary Tue 22-Apr-14 14:06:29

You are allowed to be scared , weirdly if I am stressed I put on some comedy DVD and distract myself that way. Odd I know.

Flexiblefriend Tue 22-Apr-14 14:19:00

I'd second what onlyjoking said. DH had a fairly minor operation a year ago. They said it'd be a couple of hours, and it was at least double that. Not helped by him going back to a different ward to the one he was admitted to, so every time I rang no one knew where he was or if he was out of theatre yet. I was in bits, but it seemed pretty routine to the staff at the hospital.

oenophilia Tue 22-Apr-14 14:26:56

Have to pick the DDs up at 3.15. I said I'd leave a message with the school office at lunchtime to let them know everything was alright. Also have some random coming round to collect the old drum kit this afternoon. Have headache. Just been reading other threads to remind me that the world is still turning.

madwomanbackintheattic Tue 22-Apr-14 14:34:09

oeno - hoping all well. Have been in the same situation where I was told dh's op would be 3 hours and he was under for 6. Different op, but same kinda stress levels. It was all fine.

I am also hearing you on the 'least compassionate nurse in the world ever' concerns. Dh was on the neuro ward and was really frighteningly weak for a few days - at 5 days post-op they started talking about discharge, and he was still lying on bed sipping tea through a lidded cup. I told him he had to be able to drink without a lid and straw before he was allowed home...

Disclaimer - we now have a dd with cerebral palsy. She's allowed to use a lidded cup if she wants blush

Am sure it will be fine - there's the possibility that the op started late, or for whatever reason it's taking longer - these things aren't an exact science, and although it's hard to wait, am sure it's fine.

Fil had quad bypass five years ago and spends every winter skiing black runs. Dh and his brain surgery scars race him. <sigh>

Sorry - little distraction there, but you won't be able to think about anything else anyway xxx

oenophilia Tue 22-Apr-14 14:41:01

Call through!!! It took longer as he went in late, but more than that, the valve that they thought was slightly leaky was actually quite seriously leaky. so they've operated on that at the same time to repair it. Reckon he would have needed a second operation within six months otherwise. He'll be going through to ITU in a couple of hours. May be able to start breathing myself shortly.

Sparklingbrook Tue 22-Apr-14 14:44:38

Phew. brew cake

That's great news.

MegCleary Tue 22-Apr-14 14:52:40

Good to hear.

goshdarnit Tue 22-Apr-14 14:54:58

Another 'phew!' here!
Buy one get one free from the good old NHS!
You'll be seeing him soon xxx

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