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I need massive handholding, please

(62 Posts)

I have 3 beautiful children DS 5y4m, DD1 3y8m and DD2 6 months.

All I can hear at the moment is DD2 screaming at DH as he tries to force her to take a bottle, because for the 2nd time in 3 years I have been told I have cancer.

In 2011 I was diagnosed with bowel cancer, it came as a complete shock, I had a grade 4 n0 tumour removed, 6 months of chemo and thought I was all clear. All my scans had shown I was all clear.

Since having DD2 I have lost a massive amount of weight (20kg), had persistent, explosive bowel movements and experienced bloating like I have never had.

After 2 colonoscopies, 2 endoscopes & 2 CT scans I have today been told that I have inoperable peritoneal disease ( a tumour in the abdominal lining causing an ulcer in my stomach) and liver metastases. It has taken 4 months for all these investigations.

My oncologist wants to start chemo as soon as possible.

I now face a future of chemo, uncertainty and the fear that I might not live to see my children grow up.

I have not namechanged for this as I use this name on twitter and my blog.

If you recognise me, I have not told all my family yet so please do not out me.

While I have been writing this DH has brought me a distraught DD2 and she is happily feeding.

I need help to wean her onto bottles - currently I am using boots wide necked with fast flow tears and cannot really afford to spend a lot trying different bottles.

I don't know what I am asking. Just I know you are not a nest of vipers and provide the amazing support you can.

poorincashrichinlove Tue 15-Oct-13 21:59:40

So sorry...thinking about you and sending you virtual hugs, healing & sympathy xxx

Morepeasplease Wed 16-Oct-13 08:06:39

The bottle I had success with is called Breastflow. The teat is in two parts, the outer part is very soft a bit like a boob with a hard teat in side. When the baby sucks the milk flows between the two layers and sort of squirts out a bit like when your milk lets down. It is supposed to be the bottle that best mimics breastfeeding. I got one from mothercare but amazon do them too. £7.99 for one bottle. I only bought one to see if it worked and found that once my babies could drink from this they would drink from any old bottle.

toffeelolly Wed 16-Oct-13 09:04:12

Knitting thinking of you. x

shewhowines Wed 16-Oct-13 09:24:28

Lots of positive energy coming your way. thanks

Matildathecat Wed 16-Oct-13 10:13:15

Dreadful news. I hope you will be able to tell your family soon and have their support.

Regarding feeding, can I add a slightly different opinion? I think babies of this age still need to suck. Almost every baby will take a bottle with a little perseverance. Maybe your HV could advise if you're having problems.

My very best wishes to you and your family.

helzapoppin2 Wed 16-Oct-13 11:45:04

Love and hugs to you.

anothernamechangerreally that might be nice! I don't think I know any other mner's

Little update my DM is here as I am going for a blood transfusion ( or new blood as DD1 keeps calling it) tomorrow and DD2 has taken 3 oz of formula from her.

This relieves some of my fear as next week chemo starts, we now just need to switch to all FF.

lunar1 Wed 16-Oct-13 16:32:10

Sorry to here your news. Glad you have your dm for support.

Orianne Wed 16-Oct-13 16:38:34

Hand holding too x

youarewinning Wed 16-Oct-13 16:44:52

So sorry to hear this thanks

As for bottles I had ones for DS with different flows depending on which bit of the teat was facing the top!

roguepixie Wed 16-Oct-13 16:47:47

So sorry to hear this. I am thinking of you and holding your hand as tightly as I can.

mistyshouse Wed 16-Oct-13 16:50:36

so sorry to read this

<holds hand>

x

Hippymama Wed 16-Oct-13 16:53:50

So sorry to read this xxx

iHeartTheoJames Wed 16-Oct-13 16:57:14

Holding your hand, sending you oodles and caboodles of love and strength xxx

Plus3 Wed 16-Oct-13 16:57:59

Consider your hand held x
So many good suggestions for weaning from breast bottle. Good luck

PoshPenny Wed 16-Oct-13 17:05:12

I wish you the very best of luck knittingnovice xxx

Mrscaindingle Wed 16-Oct-13 17:22:49

So sorry to hear this, makes the pity party I've been having today seem a bit petty.

More hand holding and thanks

hamncheese Wed 16-Oct-13 17:26:01

So sorry.

Breastflow bottles will be your saviour. DS refused to 7 months and these worked. I know three other mum friends who they worked for too. They are not too expensive on amazon, so you could try one and see - good luck.

Stay strong

chartreuse Wed 16-Oct-13 17:59:34

I'm so sorry to read this Knitting, wishing you all the luck in the world x

Shellywelly1973 Wed 16-Oct-13 18:08:53

So so sorry... Sending you love, hugs & strength. X

newpup Wed 16-Oct-13 18:21:23

I am sorry. I wish you the best and hope you find strength from all the support on here.

mrsblakey Wed 16-Oct-13 19:49:14

knitting - big hugs from me .
You sound so strong even though you probably dont feel it .Wishing you tons of luck on your journey xxxxx

ps am following you on pinterest as another crafty novice !!

Manchesterhistorygirl Wed 16-Oct-13 19:50:46

I'm so sorry to hear your news and can offer you no practical advice, but can offer you cyber hugs.

out2lunch Wed 16-Oct-13 19:54:12

sending a hug and best wishes x

TerrorTremor Wed 16-Oct-13 20:04:55

I'm so sorry to hear about your diagnosis.

I honestly don't know what to say but I am so glad you have a loving, supportive family around you. I am sure that will make a massive difference.

From the start DD has been on Philip's bottles as she's been mixed fed. Sometimes it is a bit harder the further along they are but in general it helps if they are fed by someone who isn't you - though this can vary baby to baby.

I'd try a doidy cup or a beaker as your daughter is the same age as mine and is just onto those now.

I hope your partner can help you with the children and with weaning DD2 and giving you a bit of time to relax if you have to, as can imagine all the intensive therapy and medication is physically and emotionally exhausting.

Hand to hold if you need it and feel free to post any time with your feelings, sometimes it's very therapeutic. As someone has mentioned above their are a few threads for those with cancer from the diagnosis to treatment to readmission.

Thinking of you at this less than pleasant time. flowers

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