does anyone here have a phobia to vomiting?

[retailtherapist]

For as long as I can remember i have had a severe phobia to vomiting. Can't stand it if anyone is sick near me, have panic attacks and then worry for days in case I am sick myself. I have never been sick yet!
In absolute state at moment as my 2yr old d/s has just had a gastric virus - he spent 3 nights in hospital as he was dehydrated. He actually threw up over me when it started and I think the shock of it all is just hitting me now that he is home and recovering.
I am now terrified of getting close to him in case he is sick again and he now feels unclean. It is breaking my heart as when he needs me most I feel I am not there for him. I force myself to hold him but I know that he can sense my distance. Am terrified of being left alone with him as d/h has been around all the time so far.
Would love to know if any other Mums have this phobia and how you deal with it, as I've been told it's quite common.

[DumbledoresGirl]

Yes there are loads of us on MN. I am one. Pleasse don't ask me how i cope with it though as I dont!

I don't know if the search facility is working but if it is, there are loads of old threads on this topic if none of the emetophobes feel like talking today.

[crazydazy]

Yep, me too. My heart goes out to you and not sure how you cope with something like that. Thankfully, I am lucky and have a supportive DP too and [touch wood] I keep my kids pretty healthy by stuffing them with vitamins every day.

[retailtherapist]

Thanks Dumbledoresgirl and Crazydazy. It helps a bit to know that I'm not the only one with this problem as at the moment i feel totally unfit to be a mother.

[DumbledoresGirl]

I know that feeling retailtherapist. I don't know what you can do about it except look at everything else that you do right with your son and tell yourself that mostly you are a good mother and do all the right things. It is only when he is ill that you maybe fail to meet the standards most people would expect. I hope you don't mind me putting it like that. I am not really describing you but myself you see. I have to tell myself that to stop me (in my worst moments) running to social services and saying take my children away because I can't cope with them.

[mixedemotions123]

I am another one!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
try taking it hour by hour, hasn't been sick since???. That is the only way that I can deal with it when one of mine has a sick bug. It is hell on earth though, and i do feel for you. They always want us mums when it comes to throwing up don't they!
My husband tries to understand???????? but he always resorts to "but he wants to sit with you mummy!!"!". Bless

[retailtherapist]

I know what you mean about the social services bit DumbledoresGirl - I will try to think of all the good things I do for him though. Will also start d/s on a course of multivitamins as soon as he is eating again!
My d/s is slowly getting better - he was in hospital for three nights as he was so dehydrated. The trouble now is with me.. every twinge I get I think that I'm coming down with it. I find it difficult to eat and have convinced myself that I feel sick - even though our house must be completely sterile and my hands are raw through constant washing!
Wish I could go to sleep for a week and wake up when it's all over.

[calvemjoe]

I'm another one. Panic everytime ds doesn't eat as much as normal or does an extra dirty nappy incase he is coming down with something. He's only been sick once in his 2.4 yrs and I've been a mess ever since. If he wakes in the night I get the shakes because I'm convinced that he is going to be sick again. DH has booked me in to see a hypnotherapist and I'll let you know how that goes. Personally, I can't see it ever ending, it has been with me for so long, but I would like to enjoy being a mum again.

[trinityrhino]

i too suffered very badly from this phobia
experiencingall the thintgs that have been mentioned

I have stood on the phone to NHS direct cryingfor help cause I couldn't go anywhere near my 4 year old who was thowing up and there was noone else in the house
I am very ashamed of that

BUT i went to a clinical psychologist and it REALLY helped, gethelp, you're worth it.

I am not completely cured and I can still feel a bit wobbly if they do get sick butIno longer spend my entire lie panicking that they are going to throw up and not eating cos of it and having panic attacks if one of the kids says she has a tummy ache or says no to food

I too felt that it would never get better but it can be helped you can feel better

ask for help

[AttilaTheMeerkat]

Would suggest you all contact Gut Reaction via their website:-

www.gut-reaction.freeserve.co.uk/index.htm

[DumbledoresGirl]

The name of the website alone is a bit scary Attila! Are you sure it is safe for us to do so?

[retailtherapist]

I am so sorry for everyone else that suffers the same as me. Although I had heard it is a common phobia I have never meant anyone else. It is strangely comforting (but sad too) to know that I am not alone and that you all seem to think the same way.
I now have the added worry that my Dad (my safe haven) has been sick today too. Aaaarrgggh! I just don't know how I can cope. My d/h felt dodgy today but is assuring me that it's because he is so anxious about getting the bug as he knows I would totally lose it then.
I have twice been for cognitive behaviour therapy - but quit both times. I think it had something to do with the fact that he told me my ultimate session would be in a hosptal ward (I'll let you imagine the rest!)
I also tried hypnotherapy (please be careful Calvemjoe) but ended up completely screwed up as he put false memories into my head that involved close family and sexual abuse. Luckily for me i was not too far under his influence to be sucked in. But it disturbed me deeply, just the fact that he planted horrific images (untrue) in my mind that will never leave me.
I really can see no way out of this. I have been like it as long as I can remember. I now feel that my house is soiled and dirty and am frightened of my little boy . I am struggling to eat and also think that i have passed on my fear to my d/s as he is very reluctant to eat and gags when he puts some food in his mouth.. which terrifys me!!
I did have a quick look at gut reaction website last night, but was quite disheartened when I read that there appears to be no successful treatment.
Where did you find out about your clinical psychologist Trinityrhino?

[DumbledoresGirl]

Aww retailtherapist, you sound really down about it. Is this the first time your son has been really ill? If so, then, trust me, you will relax a bit as the days go by. After a few weeks you will even feel a bit better about facing it all again. I know. Every time one of mine is ill I spend days and weeks afterwards in a balck depression, but that does go away after a bit. If I can go a long time between bugs, I can even kid myself I will cope better next time.

And if the truth be known, I think I do slightly cope a bit better each time, or maybe it is that as the children get older there is less to cope with.

I do feel so sorry for your despair and fear. I completely know what you are going through.

[Heartmum2Jamie]

Another emetophobe here! I too get really shakey days where all I worry about is them being sick. I am now counting the days until school ends. I have 2 boys who are 5 & 2. Between them, they have not had any sick bugs, but have been sick with constipation, head injury, ear infection & chest infection. I am dreading the 1st time they get a tummy bug. I felt sick the other night, that was bad enough.

[retailtherapist]

I feel as though everything is completely out of control. D/h has just gone to bed feeling lousy.. am now convinced he has the bug and I know i will be lying awake all night waiting (will definitely be in spare room tonight!)
When d/s was at the peak of his illness I phoned he out of hours docs in a real state and they prescribed valium and anti-sick pills in case I needed them. I have one valium tablet left and am desperately trying not to take it in case my need is greater later!
I just wish there was somewhere I could escape to. If I didn't have d/s i would check in to a hotel just to get away from potentially sick d/h. Help!

[DumbledoresGirl]

How are you today retailtherapist? Perhaps moe importantly, how is dh? I hope he managed to sleep off whatever it was he was feeling.

Try not to worry too much for yourself. Thinking as positively as you can will help. You said in your opening post you had never been sick yet - did you mean ever or did you mean since your phobia began? Either way, you are doing well. You need to take a little comfort from that. I can't say you will never be sick or catch anything from your family, but I do know that I never has as an adult. Even when all my children were ill with a horrendous bug a couple of years ago, dh and I only got it as diarrhoea. I say "only" but that experience was bad enough. I could hardly leave the toilet for hours, literally. But I have read that people who fear vomiting actually rarely do vomit. Some people on Mumsnet have actually said they can repress the impulse. I dond't know if that is what I do, but I wouldn't be surprised it is was true.

So take some deep breaths and try to stay calm as that will help you feel better. Let me know how last night went. I can't really do anything for you except listen and totally understand, but I would like to do that for you, if it will help at all.

[DumbledoresGirl]

Sorry for countless typing mistakes! Hope you can understand the gist of what I am trying to write!

[mumtochloe]

{{{{ Hugs}}}}}}. I know exactly how you feel retail as I have the same phobia too and I know from experience it can completely take over your life.

If it makes you feel any better you are probably over the danger period now and if you were goona catch it you probably would have by now.

I was prescribed Stemetil (ant emetic) from my doctor for when I am at my most worried and knowing I have these seems to have lessened my phobia a bit. Have you got anything on prescription long term? When was the last time you were sick?

[crazydazy]

I have had a tummy bug twice this bloody year and my kids have had nothing [touch wood], I think the first time it was food poisoning though and the second time was just the runs and feeling a bit off colour. I give them multivits and I really believe it has helped their immunity.

I don't worry too much when DP is ill as he's able to look after himself and he's usually quite discreet about it so I don't hear too much, its just when the kids get ill I get scared. Since I was put on anti-depressants for PMT I have become much more relaxed and do not worry at all and have just completed a two week holiday abroad and not worried once.

Hope everything is going okay for you retail.

[Xavielli]

I very much have this phobia!

[footprint]

Hi everyone,

I actually came here to post (for the first time in ages) because I have been freaking out - dd threw up last night and thank goodness I coped really well (yay me!) but my real phobia is ME vomitting and I cannot eat at all today in case. I hate having this fear all the time, sometimes I feel like I could just never eat again, because food scares me so much

I have acrually been to see a therapist about this but he was uselss and didn't take me seriously at all.

Crazydazy - if you read this - did antidepressants really help???? I can't imagine going on holiday abroad and not worrying ALL THE TIME!!!!

[snuffy143]

Have posted on this subject before and always find the simialr stories strangely comforting. I always end up feeling fortunate that my fear is based on others not me being sick, especially DD (7) and DS (4). I worry most when DH is away with work (he's gone to Egypt today!) as he is brilliant with the kids. I am glad to say DD concerns me less now a she has had a couple of bugs where she has been in control and just shouted to me from upstairs every time she is sick! I worry most about DS and for a week or more after one of them has a bug. Sometimes is better than others and I try to not let it rule my life. I do go through times of thinking I am not worthy of two such fab kids but I KNOW that this is the only thing I 'don't do'. Everyone has something. The kids know it, too, and they accept it. One day at a time...!

[Ellbell]

Hi retailtherapist

I'm another one with a vomit phobia (and you can't even pick up a paper today without reading about David Beckham throwing up on the pitch). Not as bad as some on here, but I don't cope with my dds being sick at all (I hover outside the bathroom door, telling them to aim at the toilet...) and then worry for ages about being sick myself, to the point where I make myself feel sick and normally get the runs too. I really sympathise. Californifrau has some good tips for dealing with this, including keeping a really big towel that you can use to wrap around the sick child so that you can cuddle him/her, but s/he can't actually puke on you (I can't touch mine when they have been sick) and keeping strong mints to suck to deal with the smell and the nausea. Hopefully she'll see this and will let you know of any other good ones.

I have just started seeing a counsellor about this and a few other problems, and he maintains that phobias like this are 'quite easy to deal with'. I'm seeing him again next week, so will see what he says then. He did say it was very common.

Good luck and I hope your ds is ok again now.

[DumbledoresGirl]

Ellbell, did Beckham really tho=row up on the pitch? I don't watch the football or see newspapers. If so, was it really obvious? Dh didn't mention it to me...

[Ellbell]

Oops, sorry Californifrau. I really thought I was the only person with this phobia too, till I came on here. When I've mentioned it to people in RL I get comments like 'Well, of course no-one LIKES being sick', and I can't explain that this is different from just saying 'Oh yuk, my child has just puked on me'....

Dumbledoresgirl - apparently. I just saw it in the paper today (headline was something disgusting like 'Beckham Throws a Sickie'). But I don't want to know the gory details...

Retailtherapist, really hope that you, your dh and your ds are all OK.