I am a lazy boozy greedy slug but am I an alcoholic?

[lbgslug]

I am still not sure where I stand in the alcoholic scheme of things but I have done a lot of thinking recently and would appreciate your advice and comments and experiences..

Looking back over my adult life I have done some spectacularly dim things under the influence of drink. I just love the stuff - am pretty upbeat in general and that first glass of wine tips me into that yahoo giddy mode that is so fabulously pleasant. Right now I am craving it.

I would go so far as to say the first MOUTHFUL of wine does that for me.Is that the norm?

What is it about drinking that makes you think "ah yes, that lovely feeling, this is the REAL me and I see everything with such clarity and insight " . Of course this is bollocks and if you remember the next day some of your thoughts (worse still, actions) you feel mortified.

I seldom drink midweek but if I do open a bottle of wine I have to finish it. Occasionally I open one at lunchtime and it is drunk before the kids get out of school.

At a party I seem to have no control when I start. I LOVE it. I don't love the hangovers and the sense of remorse the next day.
However if a group of us are going out I will ALWAYS volunteer to be the driver and am perfectly happy not to drink at all on those occasions, as I consider it dangerous for me to be out in public and as drunk as I get. I also prefer to look after my boozy friends.

I realised after an incident last year that I was very lucky to have got away with my social drinking binges all these years without alienating my friends.Of course many of my friends are big drinkers too. (My husband might argue I did not get away with it)

At that point I decided to stop binge drinking.

You will all know this is not the same thing as saying " since then I have stopped binge drinking" !

I have had three BIG lapses this year at which times I behaved very badly which has convinced me I have some level of problem. My evil twin came out to play and got away with it AGAIN
is there such a thing as levels of problems with alcohol? I know some people say they can never drink again AT ALL.
I feel a sense of loss if that is the case and I need to give up wine forever. Does that make sense?

Binge drinking for me coincides with stuffing my face with food so that will have to go too.

I am an intelligent and capable mother in her 40s with a lovely husband, kids, home, job, and extended family . Why do I constantly revert to my alterego as a lazy boozy greedy slug?

[lbgslug]

If I have a spare hour(rare) you will find me in the self help section of Waterstones.

I have read so many self help books I am thinking of writing one called "seven habits of highly successful self help book writers"

[nicnack2]

reading your post i would say that you are relieing on alcholol. Although you can seem to take or leave it, being the dediciated driver ensures that you will not drink therefore you probable know yourself that there maybe a problem. Drinling on you own has been a signal for 'alcohol probs'. Were these incidences bad or embarressing - we all have done someting embarressing through drink, but if it lead you to stop binging then again that must be a alert to you. How do you children feel when they come home on the accasion that you have drunk a bottle of wine. Had someting to them you would not have been able to drive. I am not condeming you as i had a period in my life that i would drink more that i had before or since.

[Nightynight]

someone posted a link on MN recently, to a quiz on AA site, I think, that was pretty comprehensive and seemed good at identifying problems.
Its in recent threads on alcohol, or could try the AA website.

[lbgslug]

FIO i have had counselling for depression and marriage guidance.

Nicnac how did you change?

Nightynight I am conclusively into the area of porobelm drinking with that test! So is everyone I know so i am not sure how accurate it is.

Anyone else got any thoughts?

[expatinscotland]

You sound like me on booze. I am yahoo giddy as well. And whilst I've had a lot of fun times, I've also done things I regret whilst on the p*&s.

I avoid it mostly. I avoid settings in which I KNOW I'll get drunk.

Have you tried going alcohol-free for a while and see how you get on?

For me, I had to just make a break to get away from it.

It was really boring for a while, but now I simply can't get away w/the hangovers.

Some people binge eat whilst drinking, my problem is that I smoke - which is way more dangerous.

I don't hold much stock in self-help books, but that's just me.

Best of luck!

[lbgslug]

expat I am also in Scotland. How hard was it for you to give up? Have you given up completley?

The Yahoo giddy feeling is SO seductive, isn't it?

[expatinscotland]

No, lbg, I have not given up completely, but I'm now a moderate drinker AND (most importantly) I am able to stop drinking before I get drunk and just keep the 'buzz' going. I'm now able to drink w/o smoking, something I was NEVER capable of until quite recently.

It was hard to quit, though. What finally did it for me - w/regards to smoking, too - was that I got pregnant w/DD1 and was SO sick w/vomitting and nausea.

After that, I had a few slip ups, two times I drank till I was sick after going out w/friends.

I was disgusted w/myself and stopped drinking entirely for about a year. I didn't have it in the house at all.

I still don't.

[expatinscotland]

OMG, that giddy feeling is wonderful! I have to say, b/c of it, I enjoyed MANY good times. But it's when you go past that and are just drunk that it's no fun anymore.

Not very attractive, either.

[noddyholder]

I think you know yourself what you need to do.Reading your post you are intelligent articulate and pretty clued up on your drinking and its effects I agree with expat try alcohol free for a while although this is esp hard if you crave alcohol and maybe AA could help you with the emotional reasons for drinking and give you support.My dp gave up drinking and went to AA and hasn't drank for 14+ yrs I recognise all your feelings og guilt and regret from what he used to say You can still have a great time without it but it takes time xxx

[CountessDracula]

you sound very like a friend of mine who doesn't usually drink a huge amount but has had several catastrophic episodes resulting in her going missing for several days, once waking up in an allotment many miles from home with no idea how she got there

I don't think that drinking affects her DAY TO DAY life (a bit like you) but I have seen first hand what effect it has on her dh, he is worried sick every time she goes out on her own and goes out of his mind when she does her disappearing acts. I should add that they are few and far between, it only happens every few years

It is really up to you, do you want to give up the enjoyment you get from drinking - if it is very intermittent then maybe not worth it. However if it is damaging your life, your relationships esp with your family and/or your job then you may want to think about packing it in. It can only come from within though, any amount of friends and relatives telling you you have a problem makes no difference. But do you want to get to that rock bottom that makes you quit?

I have some experience in this, my SIL was an alcoholic and a nightmare when drunk, we lived with her and tbh were responsible for her dd a lot of the time because she was incapable. I know that whenever I tried to talk to her about it she just called me a hypocrite because I drank too, however I don't undergo a personality change or do anything stupid when I drink, plus I know when to stop!

Sorry ended up being a bit long, but there is a lot to think about for you I think

[southeastastra]

im giving up drinking, it just does not agree with me, i have finally got to face it that it is doing me no favours anymore, also have to give up smokes. I feel like i should go into a nunnery for a few weeks and just meditate.

[Cappucino]

this is a great website - \link{http://www.downyourdrink.org.uk/main.php\down your drink}

it's an online drinking course encouraging sensible drinking that doesn't treat you like an alcoholic

it's confidential, and you have to do it over a few weeks - it won't let you log in early so you get time to think about it

[southeastastra]

i just need to stop ive tried cutting down but always seem to go back to it. i dont drink loads but just have a bad reaction to it. am fed up with my lack of willpower .