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**TAMOXIFEN 35**the all dancing,fat boy snacking and drugs thread

(1000 Posts)

yoo hoo - over here- bring the trolley...

malteserzz Fri 03-May-13 03:25:12

Gig I'm in the midlands. Had a real panic moment earlier but have got through it again , Going to ring and ask for sleeping tablets tomorrow though hope you managed to get some sleep

Gigondas Fri 03-May-13 03:32:13

Am watching greys anatomy as cant get comfy - arm fine if propped up and keep gently moving it but get this weird dead arm/burning pain if not ( I think it is nerves waking up post op). Left bed as was just not comfy so in kitchen with some herb tea and tv.

Sorry about panic moment - I find them worse when tired, up at night . Deep breathing helps -I thou nose for count of 5 and out thru mouth for 5, do about 8-10 times. It slows the palpitations and stress response. It won't take all fear away but does help with the yucky physical side.

malteserzz Fri 03-May-13 03:49:39

Enjoy greys anatomy I've never seen it . Your arm sounds painful bless you good idea to get up I think at least you can rest with it in a comfortable position. Dh has slept all night I'm really trying not to wake him he needs his sleep whereas I'm quite used to lying awake worrying even before this shitty disease reared it's head. I feel like on Tuesday they're just going to tell me that's it no hope hmm really must stop googling

notJenkins Fri 03-May-13 04:15:54

Can I join the nightshift ? I am awake with the delightful post norovirus delight of comedy style excessive wind. I am expecting scientists to turn up to investigate the earth tremors any moment. The stomach churning is horrendous. Of course I am lying here googling symptoms of cancers that could be responsible.

Gigondas Fri 03-May-13 04:21:53

sadconfusedconfused No googling! It is out if date and full of nutters. I know it's hard tho as you want reassurance.

Catastrophising about Tuesday is probably natural (ESP if you are a worrier). But there is no such thing as do nothing -even if spread , can be managed and you could have years. My cousin is here 5 years in with ovarian cancer -they didn't give her til Xmas.

I think some sleeping tabs, anxiety tabs and trying to fill your days (and nights -get on the box sets ) til Tuesday might help.

The other thing about how downbeat/factual drs are - they have to be as actually got strict guidance on what they say (hence no false positives), more than other fields. My specialist nurse told me this. I find that doesn't help with my fears so I now inky get basics and dh gets the rest so I don't worry/get tempted to google.

Gigondas Fri 03-May-13 04:23:39

grin At you notjenkins and google, I am havng shoving wind with painkillers as my tummy gets used to them.
Anymore house viewings?

Gigondas Fri 03-May-13 04:25:06

Shocking not shoving and only not inky.

notJenkins Fri 03-May-13 04:34:25

No viewings for a few days which is probably a good thing as I have been mostly lying on the sofa with the hounds. They have been looking after me and don't seem to mind the wind. This virus has been a shocker and has really made me feel bad.
I managed my work hours this week despite the virus so at least the first week back is done. It is weird as I got all hermit like since dx and now am forced to talk to people at work. Most people are saying things like 'at least it is all over ' ' you are cured now ' and I want to slap them, shake them hard and shout at them. I honestly don't know if I should just nod and smile or try to explain that it will be months before I know if I need more treatment and I will be monitored for life so it will never be all over for me.
Sorry you are on the nightshift too gigs some advice about getting decent sleep sounds lie a good idea.
I hope our wind improves before our piss meet up. Anyone ever seen Mr Methane ?

malteserzz Fri 03-May-13 05:55:41

Notjenkins good that the norovirus is coming to an end , sounds horrible. I managed a couple of hours sleep I think.

malteserzz Fri 03-May-13 05:57:16

And I understand about people saying its over etc though they probably just don't know what to say. People keep telling me to fight it ( how ???) and be positive

Gigondas Fri 03-May-13 06:44:12

Norovirus can be grim . Good for you for managing work.

The you are over it bit is annoying cut as you say , it's people saying what think. The whole fighting thing is source of much mirth here. Naturally we all do what we can but hate idea that you lose.

Managed an hour or so now so about 3 hours in all. Defo need a plan as its worse than having a new born.

coorong Fri 03-May-13 06:45:41

Morning all. Sorry to be away for a who a while. Slowly recovering but also back at my placement school to finish my PGCE so exhausted. Hope you're all enjoying spring - my bargain half price tulips are all in bud so very excited.

Welcome to the club malt - the wait is the worst. I had two years of "is it or isn't it". And it was actually a relief when I had a definite tumour to contend with. It was a case of rolling up your sleeves and saying "right, lets deal withit" . For me it was all about being in control. IME it all hangs on the pathology - and until then anything you read is a bit useless. But as everyone else says (and see BBC news today), BC is very common in 40-50 year olds AND its not a death sentence, it's a disease to be treated and managed.

DON'T GOOGLE - I'd there's one thing that definitely gives you cancer, it's google.

topsyturner Fri 03-May-13 08:11:44

"Google gives you Cancer"
Snort gringringringrin
Good one Coorong grin

topsyturner Fri 03-May-13 08:13:08

And Gigs , STOP LINKING TO SIR TOM IN HIS PANTS !!!!!
Gives me one hell of a shock first thing in the morning grin

trice Fri 03-May-13 08:31:04

I have just had pork scratchings for breakfast! I am diabetic so all those cakes are out of bounds for me so Dh has to work hard to find me a treat. They were actually some german crunchy pig bits in lard recipe that he found on the Internet. Very tasty indeed.

Copthallresident Fri 03-May-13 08:42:33

It was all going on last night when for the first time this week I actually slept... wine and it finally caught up with me.

gigs The pain sounds awful. I remember some extraordinary sensations as the nerves repaired themselves on my chest and under my arm, they do leave you to cope with the achiest bits of recovery. I hope Dr Lovely can help.

Maltz Yes the demons come at night. Another running joke on here is our "visions". We are all woo psychics! shock Nah! It is just it can help to have some mental images to keep the demons at bay. I found it very helpful. Things you want to do after treatment or images of the Cancer getting zapped. It is personal but mine were standing on a mountain with my support group (that has happened), sitting on a terrace above Bath with my closest friends grey haired and wrinkled sipping champagne (that hasn't happened because I am not grey or lined because one of them was widowed and went spectacularly Kerry Katona Brittney Spears type mad, can't give the details as would out me but good story for piss up meet up, was diagnosed with bipolar disease and now is on an elephant dose of drugs to control it, and can't drink because she pickled her liver self medicating. Real life intervened and Cancer isn't the only shit that happens.) Sitting on various beaches (that has happened too). Also as I am a sad sci fi/ Lord of the Rings geek I had the entire male totty cast of Lord of the Rings and their armies on my side racing around my body wink seeing off all the nasty ugly misshapen orcs / cancer cells.

We have had fun recently with ways of seeing off Katherine Jenkins, gigs tumour (presumably now in toxic waste sack in posh hospitalgrin) Damien Lewis was ravished in the process. If you give us some ideas of your personal hates and joys I am sure we can bring our lust imagination to bear!

Also as antidote to all that patronising, be positive/ fighting talk and all the pink candy floss I really appreciated this article when I was first diagnosed. <Copt gets that article out again> www.barbaraehrenreich.com/cancerland.htm

Copthallresident Fri 03-May-13 08:47:33

nj Glad to hear you are recovering. I don't remember the wind shock just feeling like my insides had turned themselves inside out. I am still 7 lbs lighter which for me is a good thing these days. A sort of silver lining?

jchocchip Fri 03-May-13 09:04:43

Morning peeps just catching up on way to work. Has anyone got appointments today? I hope all of you who were up all night can at least put you feet up for a nap during the day, I'm exhausted just thinking about it!

AshokanFarewell Fri 03-May-13 10:00:53

Good morning all! smile

I was super grumpy yesterday evening, drove my parents mad demanding cold black grapes despite a) no cold foods and b) grapes definitely a terrible idea. I knew I was being unreasonable and grumpy but couldn't stop myself, I shall blame the steroids grin also felt quite shitty but feeling quite a bit better this morning. I just reeeeally want a cold drink!

HND the cupcakes look fabulous.

malt and gigs sorry you both had a tough night, hopefully you can get some drugs today to deal with pain and anxiety smile

trice am veggie so can't comment on pork scratchings but good you've found a nice treat! smile

Have a lovely day everyone!

topsyturner Fri 03-May-13 10:17:54

Oh I strongly remember being totally unreasonable on steroids too Ash !
Gigs and I share the "roid rage" , and we also had the undeniable urge to eat everything within a 3 foot radius !!!
Ah the good old days grin

amberlight Fri 03-May-13 10:19:22

Yes, how exactly are we supposed to 'fight it' ourselves? Best research shows that people survive in greater numbers when they treat it as a minor nuisance (even the ones that aren't). And carry on regardless as much as possible. And have loads of social contact with good mates. That improves the odds too. Good science behind why, for both of those things. So 'fighting it' is a mad request. Just do as much normal life as you can manage and let the docs worry about getting rid of it.

amberlight Fri 03-May-13 10:26:54

PS, for those new to the science of cancer, it's a semi-intelligent thingy. It learns how to defeat cancer medication. But it can't learn more than three tricks. Which is why they give all sorts of different cancer drugs at once/pack lots into the tablets etc. It gets too confused, and cops it. It's also why some of the herbal potions can help...because they act as a fourth chemical bombardment which adds to the power of the other chemotherapy drugs etc.
Some cancers are so hyperintelligent that even four cancer drugs don't stop them, which is why the scientists are looking for even more cunning things to throw at it all at once.

I do think that carrying on normally as much as possible is the best way, working if you can,seeing friends, doing nice stuff, having treats - I do try to be as normal as possible anyway smile
Have been to nice gp for review of my meds (anti depressants) and we had a chat about this dx as I hadn't seen him since it happened- he's given me ibuprofen gel too for my horribly swollen finger joint my hands are a disgrace,dry,red and lumpy with crap nails...it makes me sad as they were very nice hands once. Still I am able to work,so shouldn't grizzle.

Sometimesiwonder Fri 03-May-13 11:09:37

I think it's more than fair to grizzle about your hands, MAS. Was doing the same thing myself the other day, I'm sure it's the tamoxifen that's made my once super-strong nails so soft and crumbly. It's fair enough to bewail the change.

Hope the ibuprofen gel works for you.x

Am I the only one who finds the idea of a semi-intelligent being lurking in my system a bit eek-inducing?

It is so lovely and sunny here: I have loads of work to do but have been crap at actually doing it all week...hmm

Gigondas Fri 03-May-13 11:28:20

Nods and agrees with all said this morning. I am reading very interesting book on science/use of mindfulness which has some interesting references that back up amber /mas on the carry on idea.

Spoken to dr lovely who will up meds but basically key to sore arm is keeping it elevated. He was very reassuring tho.

Mas hope gel helps your poor hands.

I did manage to walk big gig to school so that's something .

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