Is there something wrong with me or is it just anxiety?

[bourneville]

ooh that rhymed!

I am so so sick of worrying all the time about unnecessary things, usually about the future which is so unnecessary!

Anyway i know it is prob a lot due to tiredness, but I just feel so jittery a lot of the time. Fluttery in the chest, light headed & faint when i get hungry (and i feel like i don't eat enough but i do eat 3 square meals a day plus snacks!) I think I have always had a problem with anxiety tbh but pre dd i was unaware of it really (except in bed at night when i couldn't switch my brain off my worries), i quashed it by a lot of nights out drinking etc and seeing ppl loads. I used to think i was depressive, i loved wallowing in misery whereas now i avoid that like the plague. Now:
a) I am generally very happy
b) I love my time to myself whereas previously it made me anxious, and i get to sleep v easily
c) I hardly ever get drunk, don't really even want to any more. it definitely used to be a crutch.
I think not working doesn't help. I do lose myself when i am fully involved in doing something with dd, or spending good time with friends or watching a film or something, but when time is going slowly my brain just won't stop (usually worrying about the future, interestingly not directly about dd, i feel very confident and happy that i am doing a good job as a mum :)) and i am so very aware of my body - heart, stomach etc. i think i tense my stomach muscles practically all the time! when i become aware of that and consciously relax them, it feels so unnatural and like i will allow my heart to bounce all over the place or something, weird...

i have started taking Bach's Rescue Remedy when feeling particularly jittery or something is coming up that i am nervous about, but does anyone have any other herbal remedy i could try? Or should i go to the doc's? I had a blood test done 6 weeks ago to check thyroid levels but i haven't heard back so i assume they're normal. Is it worth testing iron levels and blood sugar levels do you think?
Oh and it gets worse (well, the mental side of it) around PMT/period time even though I am on the Pill (i thought it was supposed to eliminate PMT symptoms).

I just want to be able to chill out and enjoy my very currently lovely life in the here & now!! How do I turn off my future???

[Enid]

I could have written yuour post 3 years ago

all deffo anxiety

I had some CBT counselling which helped - also excercise, relaxation, acupuncture.

remember it is mainly physical NOT mental and you CAN stop it by deeply relaxing your body

[bourneville]

Physical not mental? I usually see it as the other way round. If I thought it was physical i'd be worrying about heart attacks and stomach ulcers??
Or do you mean in terms of mind over matter - my body is reacting physically to the anxiety and so i can physically change that? I can see that actually - i am sure exercise would help, don't do any other than walking, and if i am walking briskly i feel a lot better (except for when i stop out of breath heart pumping lol!)
My friend wants me to sign up to a Yoga class with her, i think that would do a LOT of good. It's sort of about feeling safe in my own body i think, i think i just don't.

I've learnt a fair bit about counselling approaches and i've always been a bit sceptical about CBT tbh, always thought psychotherapy/person-centered got more to the root of the problem. But, thinking further, although i haven't had counselling i have done a HELL of a lot of work myself on my own issues, and i think that is where CBT becomes helpful, esp when everything just ends up going round in circles. i feel like i'm a bit stuck now, i know what my problems are, now i just need to change my attitudes iykwim.

Thanks. did you take any tablets or herbal remedies too?

[bourneville]

bump in case anyone else has any advice or knows of herbal remedies.

Enid i've been thinking a lot about what you said re physical/mental. All I know is, if i find myself feeling anxious, I then start worrying about the physical symptoms which of course only makes them worse! And then i try not to worry about them and tell myself it's all psychological, but ultimately of course i can't really ignore them cos they are actually there! From what you say, i've been approaching it all wrong? How should i go about changing that attitude? Should I be staying rooted in my body and learning to relax and change those symptoms or something rather than trying to ignore them?

And what if the original worries (eg stuff about the future) don't go away? Is there a way i can learn how to "worry" without increasing the anxiety if that makes any sense at all?! Or sort of learn to accept that the world is an unsafe ever changing place but that's ok and i'm not actually in any danger! i think that's more like it!!

[festiveface]

bournville, you sound exactly like me. just wish i had the answer.
sorry, not very helpful. but your'e not alone

[donnie]

st john's wort is meant to be good for nerves I think.

[bourneville]

Thanks. Festiveface, easy to feel like you're the only one so extreme! :)
St john's wort - have heard of it, will check it out.

[Avalon]

I'm sure I've read this somewhere: you allow yourself a 'worry time' (every day?) during which you can worry as much as you like.
When the time's up, no more worrying is allowed.

Think this is supposed to reduce anxiety overall, because you're not trying to stop worrying completely.

Might be completely off the wall, but thought I'd mention it.

[me23]

hi bourneville, i've just seen this.
I have suffered from anxiety in the past where it got to the point of it being a daily feeling thats was becoming too much to take, the mental and physical side of it. It got to the point where i was getting anxious about being anxious it was a cycle I couldn't break. i went to doc who prescribed a mild anti anxiety drugbut i mademistake of reading side effects and from then on i was anxious about taking them,. i eventually got to see a psychologist and she gave me breathing and mental exercises to do, and also cbt which i doubted at first but a few months after seeing her it fell into place and I;ve been so much better since then.
Please see your gp try cbt, its all about rationalisinjg your thoughts and finding solutions.

[Adorabelle]

I've always been an "anxious person" & just thought it was something i'd have to learn to
live with. Was also very aware of my heart beating &my physical self. After struggling for
a many years with this I sought out therapy & was
also perscribed a V.low dose beater blocker, Propranolol. The beta blocker is an instant calmer when taken,& if I know I have access to it (ie in my bag while out) generally I dont even
have to take it. Medication is a last resort, but
I find I hardly never even need to take it, just knowing I have it there if I do start feeling out
of control is enough.

[cheeseypeas]

Your post gives me the impression of a very thoughtful, self-analytical, positive person. Just someone who wants to learn to be more relaxed and at peace with themselves.

Have you ever tried doing any relaxation techniques? Yoga, meditiation? Maybe some philosphy?

Although I have no religion, I've always liked the buddist outlook on life. Find pleasure in small, everyday things. Try and live in and enjoy the present.

Maybe just a little self-acceptance might make you feel better. Avoiding negative thought trains etc.

I don't know! Just some ideas.

[dewmeadow]

After both my children, my thyroid went overactive and one of the symptoms was anxiety, and even though I knew it was my thyroid I couldnt stop it. I felt like I couldnt cope. I started taking the medication about 3 weeks ago and about a week or so ago my body started to chill out.

Maybe you should get your result back.

[bourneville]

Thanks everyone. I don't think it's got to the point where i'm desperate and need to go to doc's/consider medication etc. If i was beginning to be unable to cope with everyday things, getting panic attacks etc (I have had those several years ago when i was in a particularly stressful situation so i know what that's like) then i would. Just a bit fed up of my brain going on overdrive and of the tension in my body. The CBT sounds interesting so i will read up about it and see if i can gain anything from that, i don't think i would need actual therapy iykwim and anyway, do you get it free or not? (I'm a single mum and so can't afford a thing!) will also look into st john's wort.Would def not want to take medication if as you say me23 there are worrying side effects (i was v anxious just about going on the Pill at first!)