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chat and hand-holding for those of us supporting a DH with cancer - new thread for the new year

(742 Posts)
MrsShrek3 Sun 30-Dec-12 19:51:20

sign in, folks smile
Hoping that 2013 brings better stuff for all of us.

Hellenbach Sat 26-Oct-13 11:43:37

Hi everyone

Been lurking too. Since my last positive post of course things went pear shaped. DH became very moody and down, but at least this time he recognised it. Took himself off to drs and they have increased his anti-depressants.

I think it's the fact he wants to be back to normal and work full time but his body just isn 't up to it. He can manage a couple of days and then has to rest.

Drudge- we are only human. My DH has had cancer for 11 years, there's no way I could be sympathetic and caring for that long!!! thlgrin

Meanwhile, I am off to the House of Commons soon to speak to a bunch of MP's about rare cancer! Me! The things we do for our DH's!!

drudgewithagrudge Mon 28-Oct-13 16:44:15

Good Luck with your meeting .Hellenbach. There was I moaning about a journey of 4 months and you have done 11 years.

I just long for a prolonged spell of calm. The roller coaster I am on at the moment is making me feel quite queasey

MrsShriek Tue 29-Oct-13 01:06:11

good catch up

thanks all of you

dhs onc / haematologist app on weds. wibble. CT and bloods all done last week. hope we are doing some more remission so it takes us to 9 months of beating the bastard (the NHL not dhwink ) smile

MrsShriek Wed 30-Oct-13 07:27:53

not much sleeping here last night. effin Pat angry
see ya later smile

lisad123everybodydancenow Thu 31-Oct-13 07:39:15

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MrsShriek Thu 31-Oct-13 22:59:02

all much the same. which is mainly a good thing. waited an hour and a half to see someone we'd never met before and knew zilch about dh. hmm More blood tests every few weeks and adjusting his meds but other than that fairly ok, ta smile

triplets Sat 02-Nov-13 00:32:39

That's good news Mrs S...........very. xx

lisad123everybodydancenow Sun 03-Nov-13 21:11:56

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Hellenbach Wed 06-Nov-13 10:22:07

How is everyone? It's very quiet on here.
Mrs Shrek good news smile

I am off to the House of Commons this afternoon, absolutely terrified, can't believe I am doing this! But the aim is better recognition of rare cancers, good cause.

Will let you know how it goes. Looking forward to a wine or two after!

mortuusUrsus Wed 06-Nov-13 12:34:33

House of Commons!? Eek! Exciting! Good luck Hellenbach.

Still plodding along here.

MrsShriek Fri 08-Nov-13 22:27:27

how did that go, Hellen?

lisad123everybodydancenow Fri 08-Nov-13 22:43:47

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MrsShriek Fri 08-Nov-13 23:15:32

go lisa (HoC not sob inducing films)

olidusUrsus Wed 20-Nov-13 14:05:33

How is everyone?

olidusUrsus Mon 25-Nov-13 01:23:34

Would anyone mind a PM? I am a right grumpy sod ATM and wary of offloading on anyone vulnerable or who doesn't want to hear it. Happy to offer a shoulder in return.

Hellenbach Mon 25-Nov-13 12:25:16

Olid yes of course pm me
X

MrsShrek3 Mon 25-Nov-13 13:08:29

oli (or anyone) me too

drudgewithagrudge Thu 05-Dec-13 15:29:41

Can I give vent to my feelings here where I can't hurt anybody in RL?

DH just started fifth round of chemo when we were told it would be three. We saw the liver specialist just before his bowel op in June and he explained the op to us and said that after three rounds of chemo he would do it. Last week DH had CAT scan and MRI scan and when we saw the doctor yesterday she said they were"pleased" with them, just as they were "pleased" two months ago but to carry on with chemo while they get in touch with liver consultant who is in another hospital about what he is going to do. Well we have already done that.

Everything moves so slowly and I just feel so angry. This bloody cancer has taken over our lives. It dictates what we eat, what we drink, if we go out. It is a big ugly elephant in the room all the time.

As I have said before I feel so bad being cross in front of DH, God knows it's not his fault, but I just want our lives back.

So back we were this morning at the chemo unit, I call it The Last Chance Saloon, with DH wired up for three hours and I know the next couple of weeks will be shit.

Christmas? Forget it! Chemo takes precedence over everything.

I have a lovely GP who makes all the right noises and has put me on AD's but I still am getting a reputation at the corner shop for buying wine at odd times of the day and night. Hand holding Please.

MrsShrek3 Thu 05-Dec-13 16:27:16

Drudge have a hand.thanks

life in a parallel universe where everything you know and everything you believe gets turned upside down sad

MrsShrek3 Thu 05-Dec-13 22:45:50

Drudge, are you around?

Can I join for hand holding please although I'm not officially a member just yet?
Dh has been on chemotherapy for coming up to ten years now. He has a couple of blood disorders and a rogue gene that makes him more susceptible to lymphoma and leukaemia and the chemo is used to keep them at bay.
Dh hasn't been well for six months now although nothing was showing in his blood results and symptoms were more of a nuisance rather than anything I suppose you'd call serious
For the last month he has had pain first in his thigh and now in his upper arm, night sweats, extreme fatigue and now in the last ten days a suspicious lump above the elbow crease that is growing daily it's about 10x4cms today.
He finally went to the GP today who is very concerned and has sent off an armful of bloods. Dh has his head firmly in the sand because 6 weeks ago his bloods were ok but I saw the Doctor's face and she warned that it was likely she would need to see him before the appointment she booked for in a fortnight.
I feel really anxious and have a really bad feeling this time that I haven't had before. I don't know how I'll keep calm but I don't want to worry dh when for now there's nothing concrete to worry about.

drudgewithagrudge Fri 06-Dec-13 16:19:55

We can hold each other's hands Insanityscatching. This group is a godsend when you feel isolated from RL by the dreaded chemo etc.

Friends think that DH has got away with it lightly because his hair hasn't come out and he isn't sick all the time but he is tired and washed out and the cold affects him dreadfully so we have to have the heating up high. The tableyt leave a vile taste in his mouth and he has gone off a lot of foods so our diet is limited.

I sometimes wonder if the doctors really know what they are doing. It all seems a bit hit or miss with a touch of wait and see thrown in.

It's all so difficult isn't it Drudge? My anxiety is through the roof, we know that if it is Lymphoma or Leukaemia it won't be cured because of the dodgy gene he has. The lump seems to grow daily which makes it difficult to pretend all is ok and I'm finding it hard not to cry because the thought of my dc losing their Dad/Daddy breaks my heart.
It seems even worse with Christmas approaching and all the enforced jollity when I feel like we're standing on the edge of a cliff.

MrsShrek3 Fri 06-Dec-13 21:15:37

hugs insanity.... thread started because of my dh having lymphoma
feel for you. Other than dodgy gene, treatment can get rid as you probably know. holding your hand too as long as you need.

MrsShrek3 Fri 06-Dec-13 21:17:50

drudge yy to the luck/ hit and miss / wait and watch while we scratch our heads
thanks
that doesn't ever seem to improve ime

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