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*tamoxifen* 31- in the bus shelter with the cheap booze

(984 Posts)
Gigondas Mon 03-Dec-12 17:13:36

Shiny new thread

amberlight Tue 04-Dec-12 12:23:07

<dashes in and shoves people along a bit>

'Afternoon all. Nice shiny new thread - just the thing!

Hi NextDoor! Welcome! You may have heard of some of us from Tipsy Topsy. I can assure you that it's all true.

Ask anything. We might know the odd answer. My answers tend to be very odd indeed, now I think about it hmm

*amber8 is our stats queen hernextdoor

amber tsk

smee Tue 04-Dec-12 13:01:15

Shuffling in to say hi to Hernextdoor. Not good that you're here, but there's strength in numbers. I had loads of DCIS and had a mastectomy (diagnosed March 2010). Ask anything you want and I'll try and remember. grin

Gig did you say 'finish your Christmas shopping'?! <feints> shock
What's the classics course then? Sounds intriguing.

Ned, I still feel like that some days! Don't mean to worry you, and it has got a lot easier, but I don't think you ever really learn how to cope with it all. Onwards is the way, but wobbling most definitely allowed, so stop apologising.

Speaking of wobbles, I just ducked into a Gap on way home from a meeting to try on a stripy top (MAS will understand!) and saw some skin changes on my breast. Eek... have googled and it's post rads damage and v.common apparently, burst blood vessels has a fancy name, but already can't remember it. I have an appt with surgeon next week, so she can reassure me that Dr Google's correct. grin

Gigondas Tue 04-Dec-12 13:26:43

Arf at tipsy - yep nearly finished smee as did loads of it via Internet . Also dsc want vouchers so not hard. Plus I loathe shops (hangover from job just off Oxford street upwards ago). Horrid shock about Skin (but gap do have lovely stripy tops and if wait they are always doing online offers)- the best thing about rads on your arse is you can't see it!

Yep that was the piece mas- cruse are amazing as helped me get over my sons death but the type and place of cancer too close too bone (god knows why I am moaning as it is so unusual to see it). That said it doesn't mean his story is my story iykwim.

And yes course is interesting as covers all aspects of classics (literate history and culture) and is stepping stone for masters or phd.

am sure it'll just be rads damage smee - did you buy stripy top ?
tipsy grin

amberlight Tue 04-Dec-12 14:00:59

Smee, I second the thoughts about the rads damage.
Gigs, classics course sounds v interesting indeed, especially having just been out to various classical places to have a hungover stagger about sensible historical discussion.
Open Uni also has the best teaching and satisfaction mark of any of them, if I recall.

PS yes, I do know useful and surprisingly cheerful statistics for all occasions, especially now we know that even much secondary cancer has an 80% chance of a good outcome with the latest doings.

HerNextDoorAt21 Tue 04-Dec-12 14:27:46

Good afternoon, Can I ask ....Has anyone had reconstruction surgery at the same time as mastectomy ? Just looking for pros and cons ??

HerNextDoorAt21 Tue 04-Dec-12 14:30:08

Amber I am one of your greatest fans and your facebook friend .... Lisa H... topsy united us !

amberlight Tue 04-Dec-12 15:03:27

<peers over her pince nez> So you are! grin
I didn't know I had fans, though. "Horrified onlookers" normally sums it up blush

Well well!

Copthallresident Tue 04-Dec-12 15:39:17

Gigs DO IT NOW! [arm twisting emoticon] I cannot tell you how much this studying has kept me sane the last nine years , it opens up a new world. I actually went back to work part time when my girls were about the same age as yours and though I had loved the five years I had taken off with them and I hadn't missed work in the least, when I did get back I really loved being good and competent at something and being challenged intellectually (not that DD didn't always challenge me intellectually, and in every other way) . Uni is even better for that.

I see what your therapist means about being a part of a mainstream uni, I do love being part of the institution and the face to face interaction and debate. However I think with online forums etc the distance learning options are very good and certainly a really low risk way of getting back into study (On my first MA module there were a lot of 20 year olds who were reluctant to get involved in debate and coming from a work background where I had done a lot of facilitation I felt obliged to pitch in out of sympathy for the poor tutor, so my rustiness was made blindingly obvious and I had to endure lots of withering glances being cast between the alpha girls. However we still meet up, I am much valued now that careers and babies have come along, so that taught them!) Going over old ground may be a big confidence booster. Also can you not at MA level as with U/G level, use your module credits against the various sorts of courses, distance, physical, mix of both, at other continuing education institutions such as Birkbeck and Oxford, where you might be able to fit the physical course around your life? I would not really have liked to do my MA at a mainstream uni when I had younger children because of the lack of flexibility (and my institution at least is back in the dark ages as far as flexibility around childcare is concerned, essays and diss all due at end of holidays etc. )

Birkbeck is across the concrete from the academic world's answer to Kowloon, or possibly at the moment Gaza hmm, and a wonderful place. In my area Julia Lovell is there, and she is lovely, recommend all her books, which make it on to mainsteam shelves in bookshops.

How was the new coffee shop, just had a cheeze souffle from the new Cook place, I knew it would be a disaster when the instructions said that the extent it would rise would be in the hand of the "soufflé gods" and once again they proved absent in my kitchen, still nice enough and better than the usual ready meals.

HerNextDoor Welcome in, we could do with that sick bucket, what with all the throwing up that goes on in here and the smell of stale wee. If you saw my comment below a friend had annual DCIS traumas and lumpectomys for five years and was very relieved to get a mastectomy in the end. We have lots of experience sad

smee Sounds like friend's rads damage. On my good boob I can display age damage, including red blobby things and the beginnings of old lady's freckly cleavage, which had me reaching for Dr Google, so you don't even need to have had radiotherapy .....

Copthallresident Tue 04-Dec-12 15:44:05

HerNextDoor I actually only have one friend who didn't do reconstruction at the same time as Mastectomy, apart from those of us who haven't had reconstruction at all. From my point of view I had a pretty horrible prognosis and I felt I had to take one battle at a time, and have never felt that another big operation was worth it. Friends who did both at once have never regretted it. Just one friend girded her loins to have it done later, a couple of years later in the end. All my friends had the big reconstruction though, the flap from the tummy moved to the breast which is a big operation. Obviously implants would be less of a big thing, but have their own drawbacks.

KurriKurri Tue 04-Dec-12 15:50:46

hello all.

Welcome HerNextDoorAt21 (can I call you HND? grin) sorry you find yourself here with us (even sorrier you find yourself living next door to a reprobate - I imagine you are trying to move?<ducks topsy's flying cake> grin) waiting is very horrid, and seems to take for ever, but it sounds as if you are getting mentally prepared for it being DCIS, and a mastectomy. Like lots of others on here, I had a mastectomy, so if it comes to that ask any questions you like - nothing off limits, we do all kind of booby chat on here! - will try my best to answer. Meanwhile stick around, sit yourself down on the sofa and have a cuppa and a big old wodge of cake smile

Ned - more hugs, we have all had those four o'clock in the morning wobbles, and they are no fun at all. It does get better gradually with time and distance from DX, but paranoia will always rear its ugly head occasionally, I hope Dr Lovely can help you out, talking it all through, even just saying it out loud, can really help. meantime massive smooches and hugs sweetie. I have sent HW on - stupidly I had a mental block and couldn't remember your surname - so have just put your first name on the parcel blush - so when a parcel that looks as if its from a crazy woman arrives, you'll know what it is grin

Gig - OU is really good fun, - I made lots of good friends on it, and everyone is very supportive of each other - there are all sorts of online groups as well as actual groups where you can get together and discuss the work. Its very structured IME, and if you can organize your time round the littlies as best you can, then very doable - a couple of hours studying a day, I would say - maybe a little more (I am quite a slow reader and writer of essays - others seemed much speedier than me), you learn to make the most of odd half hours here and there.

So go on, you'll love it - I felt such a sense of achievement when I did my
courses.

And stay away from stories in papers - they are always depressing, (you can read The People's Friend if you are good, - it is safe reading, although racy in parts)

And apologies - I will sort out the chestnut recipe tonight and Pm you, - I've been v. disorganized this week.

Waving to Smee, topsy, MAS amber, gracie and anyone else I missed, love you all madly.

Had a foul driving lesson today - instructor said 'have you thought about trying an automatic' and 'you don't want to be here still having lessons in a year do you?' hmm I am good at gear changing <stamps up and down>

amberlight Tue 04-Dec-12 16:09:16

The People's Friend is racy?! <rushes off to buy her copy>

PS - I drive an automatic and they are absolutely fantastic. Why I spent all those years with a manual car I have No Idea At All. Just saying...

HerNextDoorAt21 Tue 04-Dec-12 16:35:57

OOOOh I don't mind HND at all KK !!! Makes me sound all intelligent like !

Thankscopthallresident for your welcome and your info on reconstruction etc. I think, if I can, I would like to have it all done at once to get it over and done with. I have two boys, one aged 9 who has an ASD and more needs than your typical child and then a 4 year old boy who is just a four year old - I think one major surgery would suit me better. Like topsy I am English but have lived in Beflast for 12 years and have very little family support here to help with the aftermath of surgery and also have a DH who doesn't drive !!! thankfully I will have topsy to distract me by feeding me coffee and making me watch TV lend a hand.

NedSchneebly Tue 04-Dec-12 16:42:12

OK, final outfit for DBs wedding decided on. . .
this top with some grey trousers and black boots.

Quite pleasingly, I have dropped a dress size too! Well, in Marks and Spencer at least, but its a start smile Got some jeans, some cords and some fleecy Pj bottoms that my mum bought for me.

kurri will look forward to DVD parcel. And I refuse to accept that you are a crazy woman. Sounds like your driving instructor needs linching though. It could be arranged . . .

grin arf @ booby chat!

Welcome hernextdoor but sorry too that you have to be here. Pull up a seat, grab something from the trolley and ask away. I didn't have a mastectomy so can't help on that one, but we can probably answer most questions between us!

smee good you've got an appointment to get Dr Google's diagnosis confirmed. Sure its nothing to worry about.

gig OU course sounds great - go for it!

MAS haven't heard anything about DSIL-to-be's dress - will let you know!

Waves to all I have missed - love you all x x x x x

ooh that's a clever thing ned - you'll look very smart in that I reckon -and well done on dropping a dress size too.
otm has posted on previous thread so have directed her to new one.
Am really tired today and I feel as though I've done very little.

Gigondas Tue 04-Dec-12 19:17:12

Cafe is v nice copthall . Thanks for advice and push everyone-the flexibility (ESP as may well do some part time work if well
Enough) is what I liked. Who knows what can do next (optimistic hat on now smile ).

On subject of seasonal lunacy, is it me or are there a lot of threads about drunken misdemeanours on at the moment? no I don't mean you tipsy or your drinking partner hnd

otm if you are lurking- much love to you and the end is in sight.

Copthallresident Tue 04-Dec-12 19:18:11

HerNextDoor Yes that is the thing with this b****r Cancer, it's such an attention seeker, it doesn't understand that there are more important things in your life that need you or you want to be getting on with angry I think you are right, although it is a big operation and you spend some time in high dependency, so that they can make sure all the micro plumbing is working OK, in terms of actual time and your ability to get on with your life, doing it together is going to take less time, and toll, than two operations. Plus there is the risk you will never get around to the second. I don't regret my decision not to do it at the time because of the circumstances, even recovering from a Mastectomy and the effect on my blood counts delayed my chemo, but I do regret the circumstances weren't such that I did it all at once.

Mind, it may all still be OK? I am a great believer that it is not worth worrying about until it actually happens, a technique I have almost hmm perfected

I know a little of your life in NI. My best and closest and most gorgeous friend in the world is an English woman in NI (see what I did there, English Man in New York? Never mind blush) I love going there to her rural idyll, beautiful beaches, mountains and all the singing and poetry and she loves coming here for the London exhibitions and culture and general buzz, but nothing makes up for her not being next door, we both miss having such like minds close by, as well as the hugs and support (and getting the world sorted over a few bottles glasses of Champagne/ Prosecco/ Cremant d' Alsace/ Cava / Asti / Lambrusco (delete according to venue, guess which we are having in the Bus Shelter grin)

jchocchip Wed 05-Dec-12 06:28:54

Morning all, marks place. Bit early for drinking, will be back later. Hello hnd sorry to hear you had to join us. Must be interesting livimg next to topsy !

Gigondas Wed 05-Dec-12 07:30:31

brew ? Better night with mini gig and it is snowing (a bit) here today.

Copthallresident Wed 05-Dec-12 08:20:55

gigs Really? (Puts glasses on) Oh yes, a bit. If mimigigs gave you a break doubtless you slept through the police helicopter circling Twickenham for half an hour at 1am? It doesn't end though, big DD kept me up with essay crisis, she was really flagging yesterday, but with heroic mother long distance willing and coaching submitted it at 12.00 deadline on the dot, and then needed 1 hour talk down. She never let me stick my nose in when she was at school but she has three essays to write in the last three weeks of term, all counting to her degree, more than her History and English studying flatmates, and she is a Scientist confused so it is not her thing, and it is on top of a 35 hour week of tutorials, labs, lectures etc. plus a couple of practicals. Apart from Dad's birthday she has been in total essay purdah the last month. And I thought I was waving her off to uni, thinking over to her now............. Interesting essay though, would have loved to write it grin

Morning all brew Enjoy the snow!

overthemill Wed 05-Dec-12 09:10:35

hello everybody sorry i have been absent for a long time - been having very rough time with chemo - had 9 now and 3 left - so have had no energy for anything except absolute essentials. barely touched laptop and updated via facebook on phone just for family and friends on chemo day.

but had to come on to say thank you to my secret MN santa so wanted to pass on my good wishes to you all. lots of love and hope all is going at the very least ok. i know it is ending for me - active treatment - but even that seems scary!

(thanks MAS)

ledkr Wed 05-Dec-12 10:31:44

Hi all. I am after some advice and hand holding.
I had breast cancer a long time ago I was 27. I had small limp in rt breast lumpectomy and radio and chemo.
I later went on to have preventative double mastectomy.
I saw the geneticist who offered to test but also said if negative slightly irrelevant cos the young age I had it predispositions me to further cancer anyway.
I have a paternal history which was two of my dads half sisters. They don't share the same dad who's mother had ovarian cancer.
I have 2 dds so would like to know though.
I am now 45 and have annual scan and bloods for ovarian risk.
I am considering an ovranectomy which dr is happy to do but I'm struggling with making that decision.
I'm vain and am worried about weight gain hairy chin and wrinkles (superficial I know)
Had anyone had this who can reassure me?
Also should I get the testing now despite my young onset being a factor anyway?
Just had another slightly raised ca125 and am sick of worrying.

HerNextDoorAt21 Wed 05-Dec-12 10:44:38

Thanks again for your lovely welcome everyone. cop thanks for your long reply about the surgery. I too am a great believer in not worrying about things until they happen so we'll see.

Lambrusco for the bus stop I would think cop I'll bring along some of my DSS (17 yo stepson) "2 leet of Strongbow" ... a flipping "2 leet" , can't the young kids say "bottle" or "two litres" ??

As for living next to topsy we do have some very intersting times .... not sure how much she would like to embarrass herself ??? She is not posting becasue she ooviously can't be arsed to go and get DSS' laptop from upstairs as the MN app is not working on her phone ... either that or she is blinded from the ferocity of luminiscence from her landing strip Christmas lights

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