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Calling all Raggedies - the THIRD Ragged Bits thread. Childbirth injuries, sphincter problems, fistulae... all welcome.(657 Posts)
First thread here, May 2008 to June 2009.
Second thread here, June 2009 to Oct 2012.
Welcome everyone with ragged bits due to childbirth. We're sorry you had to find us, but we promise to hold your hand and listen.
There is no TMI here and nothing is too gross, too embarrassing or too horrible.
<lays out tea tray, buffet and alcoholic bar>
Jacksmania it's bloody ridiculous that you were allowed to push for so long when all the guidelines say no more than 2 hours. Did you ever make a complaint, or was it not worth it? I'd recommend getting a pelvic ultrasound if you can, not so much to diagnose any further damage but just so they can literally show you how your pelvis looks and what all the muscles are doing. Knowing that mine wasn't too bad was a huge relief, even though I went in expecting the worst. They can scan your sphincters too externally if you're interested. It may not be something you're thinking of right now but perhaps 6 or 9 months later, if you'd like to know. They can predict future prolapses based on what they see on the ultrasound. I hope you've got a nice relaxing Christmas planned, not something overly stressful considering what's around the corner for you in January?
cravingcake don't feel bad for worrying about the epidural/spinal, I'm terrified!! The thought of being cut open while awake is distressing too but I know it's the only safe way I can have more children. I'm thinking of hiring a doula or independent midwife (I have a few friends) to be with me before the surgery and for the first few days PP as I know hubby will be as terrified and emotional as me and so not much use! I hope you've got lots of family or other help organized for the first 6 weeks after? I think recovery after a cesarean will be a doodle after a 3c tear, at least that's what I'm hoping!!!! I also think it's VERY important you push for further physio, even with only a few weeks to go. My physio said I have to do my exercises 2-3 times a week for the rest of my life....!!!
Oh and Jacksmania this is probably going to be a dumb question, but can anything be done about the pudendal nerve damage? I'm assuming you've already looked into this??
Take care all xxx
If you have any more questions about it, ask. I know quite a bit about them.
Cardamomginger, thank you so much for your last post to me - that helped enormously.
Actually, thanks to all of you, for your concern and help. I'd be a mess if it weren't for the friends we've become on this thread. This is just not stuff I can talk to anyone about in RL.
Jacks Yes thank you that does help. I did have an epidural during labour so recognise the feeling you describe about it being bliss if done during such pain. However, as I was in so much pain and had quite a lot of painkillers I don't remember the details of it, just the pushing sensation when they put the needle in which is what is worrying me a bit. That and while I thought it was lovely as it took a lot of the pain away for a few hours we were told later it wasn't sited very well at all. Plus they let it wear off/run low/not top it up (not quite sure the exact term) at the same time they ramped up the syntocin drip to regulate contractions, it was the most unbearable pain I've ever been in. I was given a spinal in surgery afterwards but I was so exhausted I pretty much slept during it.
Your explanation definitely helps as the consultant I saw last week was useless and while all the medical staff keep telling me things will be different this time, its not an emergency or middle of night etc they haven't gone into details about it all.
Because the consultant I saw last week was so rubbish and wouldn't refer me to physio as 'its just one of those things during pregnancy' and I've only got a few weeks left blah blah I have contacted them myself, explained my situation and have an appointment in 10 days with the same physio I saw during my recovery so hopefully she'll be able to help me.
Neptuna, my prolapse is probably caused by a few issues. One is that I was allowed to push far too long, and against a baby in an unfavourable position. I'll never forget hearing the OB say "yeah, she can try pushing for a while, but only for two hours, and then come get me". Two hours morphed into four and a half, which did a massive ampunt of damage to my pelvic floor, including damage to my pudendal nerve. Sorry for TMI but I can barely feel anything coming out when I have a bowel moment. It really is a most odd feeling sometimes
Then, when DS was delivered with forceps, I had a massive tear, and if I remember correctly, I tore through the bulbovaginosus muscle. That's what my surgeon wrote in her operative report in 2009.
I've not had a pelvic floor ultrasound. I'll pursue that if the op doesn't resolve all the issues.
cravingcake, re: the epidural, I had one and honestly, it was nothing. Certainly less than nothing compared to the pain I was in from back labour. You really don't feel much. The anaesthesiologist numbs the space between the L1/L2 spinous processes in your back (the bumps on your spine) with a local anaesthetic, and that is seriously the worst of it. He or she will wait a minute to make sure the local has taken effect, and will then insert a needle cannula. It feels like being tapped with the eraser end of a pencil. You may feel a tiny pop as the needle cannula goes in, because it has the get through quite a thick ligament between the spinous processes. After that, the anaesthesiologist feeds a tiny flexible line through the cannula into the space around the bottom strands of the spinal cord, and injects anaesthetic. If you're in hellfire agony, it's the most blissful feeling in the world... like cool water running down your back. Indescribable. If you're not in any pain, you will still feel a cool sensation in your back. Then you'll lie down, and in a bit you won't be able to move or feel your legs, and they'll keep testing the effectiveness of the anaesthetic by placing ice bags on your abdomen and asking if you feel anything. At least that's the protocol here.
As far as the difference between a spinal and an epidural anaesthetic are, the mechanics of administration are the same. An epidural anaesthetic is usually hooked up to a continuous infusion machine, because you don't know (usually) how much longer a patient will be in labour, and as only a tiny amount is infused per minute, just enough to keep it effective, it can also be discontinued as needed, or dialled down when a woman is ready to push.
A spinal anaesthetic is given as a single dose, and not attached to a continuous infusion pump, and is thus used for scheduled ops when it's normally quite predictable how long the op will last. The dose is calculated to last as long as needed, but can be topped up at need.
Does that help at all? Really, the actual injection is nothing. If you've had a booster jab in your arm, I'd almost say that burns worse. The back just isn't that sensitive.
Cardamomginger yep the Prof was very thorough. He thinks in another 20-30 years women will know much more about the risks of childbirth, particularly sphincter damage. Apparently all the research into pelvic floor damage and incontinence has really only gotten off the ground since the mid-late 1990s but more and more specialists are turning their attention to it. No he didn't want to see me again, but did say I could see him once pregnant again if I had any further questions or concerns. He sounded happy with the physio I was having and encouraged me to keep up with it. I will see the colorectal surgeon he mentioned but might leave it until a few months into next year. I'm a bit overrun with appointments with my GP and psychologist to get on top of my PND and need a bit of headspace to get through that. I'm keen for a second opinion though and the Dr he suggested was the Head of Colorectal Department at a top hospital with a lot of experience in pelvic floor disorders.
I'm glad you can hold wind in if you stay still, I'm yet to be able to do that but hope I continue to improve as the bulking agent doesn't sound too appealing How is it that you feel the continued physio is taking its toll, in the sense that you're not getting as far as you hoped or more the mental anguish? I initially found it very encouraging but since my progress has begun to plateau it's become more discouraging.
cravingcake urgh an epidural! I hope you get a good anesthetist. Being awake for the cesarean isn't so much my worry, more the very small risk of nerve damage. It really is the lesser of two evils though isn't it. Do you have a surgery date yet?
Jacksmania Has your Dr linked tour birth injuries to prolapse or is it something that may have happened eventually anyway?? When I saw the Prof and he did an ultrasound of my pelvis he said up to 5% of women have a complete avulsion of the muscle off the pelvic bone after birth and up to 15% have a partial avulsion which leads to prolapse and it's really only a matter of time before that happens. Apparently there's nothing that can be done to stop it happening (well, avoiding vontuse and forceps helps and a cesar eliminates the risk entirely) and the damage can't even be repaired once it does happen. I'm not sure if you've had the ultrasound scan to show what everything looks like? But yes it is shit and you didn't deserve it and all the problems you've already encountered are bad enough!! I think we're entitled to be angry (it's one of the stages of grief/loss) and it's a stage we have to go through and there's no time limit on how long you can take before moving on to acceptance. Would you benefit from some counseling to get you through the pre and post surgery period? I'm finding mine very beneficial and she's recognized I'm not ready to 'move on' yet but happy to let me rant for as long as it takes before I'm ready to accept what's happened. Christmas and New Year is a stressful time without added worry too.
For what it's worth, I've known several cesar mums who've had a flat tummy within months of giving birth and never seemed to have any issue with overhang of skin or sagging abdominals. They were mostly fit women so I think that helped. I would hope that as you're fit and active too you should be able to maintain your flat tummy! I have no experience with failing ovaries but I really really hope for your sake they hold out another 10 years at least!!! It's the very least you deserve (((hug)) I think you've been very brave with everything you've been through and will come out of it all ok, even if it doesn't seem like it now.
Neptuna i'm planning on epidural/spinal for elcs but i'm very nervous about it so will be discussing in detail (hopefully) with my consultant on thursday. I am hoping that new baby will be enough of a distraction & i can focus on baby rather than what is happening to me.
I had a skin tag removed from my perrenium early this year and that was with local anesthetic and was really horrible as i was in almost exact same position as giving birth, it took a lot of controlled breathing and the staff were very good. If you do end up needing any procedures i'd recommend opting for a general for peace of mind.
Yes Neptuna - please stay and chat !
Jacks . When you think about the time frame, it just kills. I'm only 3 and a bit years post birth, but realising that I am STILL having medical treatment and may STILL need another op (v v small, hopefully!) makes me want to scream.
As for the stomach issue. I had an abdominal incision for my first operation - colposuspension and uterine suspension. It's about 10cm long and is roughly where a CS incision would have been. It has made zero difference to my ab strength - any difference has been due to all the internal stuff, mainly the pelvic floor surgery, and this won't apply to you. The initial swelling took quite a while to go down, and I had some pretty impressive bruising. In the longer term, there was some swelling still for at least 6 months. I have a flat stomach - no puckering, no overhang, no nothing. Occasionally, if I overdo it I get a bit of swelling - but I think that is because the ligaments he tightened around the uterus are getting pulled, so that won't be an issue for you.
In short - my abdominal surgery was so much easier to recover from than my vaginal surgery. I had a full range of movement by day 2-3 (mainly once I'd stopped mainlining morphine and wasn't all trippy all the time ). If I had a choice I'd got for abdominal over vaginal in a heartbeat. I'm happy to chat more about it, if you want. (Don't know if you will need a suprapubic catheter post surgery? I had one, and actually really liked it.)
Hi Neptuna . I'm glad you felt comfortable with Prof D. I'm pleased he shared the outrage about not informing women of the true risks of VB. He seems to have been very thorough. Are you happy with what he said? Are you planning to see the colorectal surgeon? Seems like a good idea to get an opinion from one. Does Prof D want to see you again? Did he say anything about the physio you are seeing and the exercises you are doing?
No one mentioned bulking agents for my anal sphincters. When I last saw the gynae who specialises in colorectal issues before my last lot of surgery in February, I was supposed to do biofeedback with my physio and then go back and see him. I haven't done any of this - I feel like I need to concentrate on the pelvic floor and vagina, and I'm just too traumatised by what I've been through and by what I still have to do (I'm finding the continued physio is taking a toll) to start sticking probes up my bum. Quite whether he would suggest bulking agents I don't know. No one ever said anything about holding in wind. I mentioned it as a problem, but because there was so much other stuff going on that was much more distressing and much more pressing, I never really asked about it. If I stand still I can usually hold it in, and that kind of works for me at the moment. I'm also on shedloads on antibiotics, which make things rather more gassy than they should be. If/when I ever come off these, I'm hoping my stomach will ease and I won't be quite so farty !
Jacks, what a rough time you are having. I don't have any words to offer which will help, just <<<<hugs>>>>>
I'll still be hanging about on the thread but not sure how often I'll get on here but will keep an eye on it too.
Oh, do stay and chat, Neptuna! It doesn't matter if you have any advice to give, just being around to give support helps too.
We also have a Ragged Bits Chat quiche on FB, it's a secret group so what we post doesn't end up floating around the internet. PM me or cardamomginger if you'd like to join us.
I think it's a number of things that are weighing me down. It's all dragged on so long, by the time I'll have had this done it'll be six years since DS's birth. It's hard to believe, one shit birth and six years later I'm minus a uterus. How the fuck does that happen????
And I really thought I was done with it all, until my prolapse worsened so noticeably the summer of 2012. That was a shocker.
Also, I'm worried about what's going to happen to my abdominal strength after, since it has to be an abdominal incision. I'm very vain but also terribly insecure, and a flat stomach means a lot to me. As does being really strong - I love my power yoga, and being able to rock arm balances and inversions, and what if I lose all of that, or some of it?
What if my ovaries do quit and I'm suddenly in menopause at 45? I don't look my age, and what if I end up in some kind of hormonal shitstorm and end up feeling like some alien has taken over my body?
I'm scared. I really am, and going about my business everyday pretending I'm fine is taking a toll.
Of course I'm not the first woman who's had this done, and wah-wah-wah, poor me. I should check out the prolapse and hysterectomy support threads but I'm a bit scared of reading more horror stories.
Sigh. Rant over.
No worries cardamomginger
Jacksmania I'll probably hang around for a while, it's nice to talk to ladies with similar experiences but I'm not sure how much help I'll be as I'm not as well informed as all of you! I haven't had any further surgery (yet) either. Sorry you're feeling so crappy about the upcoming op (((hugs))) Do you think you'll feel better once it's done, as in it is the anticipation that's causing the turmoil, or just the fact that you have to have it at all? I hope your husband and family are being supportive, it's so hard if you feel alone in it all (((((((bigger hug))))))
Sure - I'll be happy to do it .
Sorry not to have replied Neptuna - just heading out now and will reply this evening. XX
"Shaw" => else
When this thread is done, would anyone shaw like to take over keeping an eye on it/moderating?
I've done the this one, and the one before. I sort of took over from the lovely Cyee. Knowing that my op is coming up in the next few months, and not being in the best frame of mind about it, I was hoping someone else would like to volunteer.
Arrgh sorry again for all the typos, stupid phone!
Aw Jacksmania you don't have to apologize! But thanks for the I love Dr. Diane Miller does sound fantastic, I wish there were more movers and shakers like her in the field of obstetrics/gynaecology/colorectal surgery looking after us women as we perpetuate the species. If men gave birth I reckon all these problems would've been ironed out decades ago!!!!!
Hi cravingcake hope you're enjoying the weekend away!! I'm glad your GP was able to reassure you so much, being pregnant is hard enough without worrying about your bum/crotch area! Hopefully your consultant can suggest something to help as well. Could you take metamucil to make the stools more bulky?
Good thing you're carrying your notes around, hope you don't go early though, scary!! My DD was born at 38+1 so worried I'd go early too...
What are you planning for anaesthetic for the Cesar? Epidural/spinal scares the living daylights out of me!!!
Thanks again for all your replies
cardamomginger I'm still angry for you at what that lawyer said regarding the incorrect use of sutures but I understand what you mean about persuing a lawsuit tipping you over the edge. Even if you were to success in gaining some financial compensation the added stress and impact on your mental health isn't worth it. Speaking of mental health I've only recently (like 3 weeks ago) been to see my GP about all the thoughts in my head and how angry/upset I am about it all, not so much that the tear happened but the fact that I'm still dealing with physical symptoms 9 months later that cause me distress. He got me onto seeing a psychologist and we're trialling some anti-Ds. There was a lot of upheval in my life just before I got pregnant and during the pregnancy so this latest series of events since the birth has been just a bit too much to cope with! I'm hoping it'll help me to deal with the anger and resentment and come to accept my body the way it is, without feeling repulsed by it!
I'm still livid that women aren't told the real risks of vaginal birth, no matter how small the stats are. I personally think it's a conspiracy theory by the government to keep costs down, as if more women knew then more would be electing to have cesars and that drives up costs.
Prof Dietz was good, he was a bit like me really, angry that more women aren't being made aware of the risks if vaginal birth and passionate about spreading the word although he did admit that it is impossible to predict which women will have a shitstorm of a birth and which women will come out fine. He did an ultrasound of my entire pelvic floor and said it all looked pretty good, no major gaps or 'avulsions' and the muscles were still anchored to the pelvis albiet a little less fleshy/bulky than before. He scanned my bottom too and said the external sphincter look fine, although there were a couple of small defects. The internal sphincter had thinned in one section (this is all the same as what the colorectal surgeon saw). He was adamant I wouldn't need further surgery but couldn't really comment on the wind problem and how to fix it apart from waiting more time, continuing with physio and seeing another colorectal with experience in damage from childbirth. He gave me the names of two colorectal surgeons I could see that had experience in this area so I will endeavor to get a referral organized and try to schedule yet another appointment!! What exactly have you been told about the wind problem seeing as your sphincters have thinned, have they suggested it will get back to 100% or might you need bulking agent in the internal sphincter, as was suggested to me? My physio seems to think I won't get 100% control back as 5 months of pf exercises havent helped too much, harrumph!!
So glad to hear you're able to do so many different forms of exercise! I'm pretty much restricted to walking with a young bub, or swimming if someone can take her for an hour or so but that doesn't happen very often. I do miss the gym but I'm so worn out these days I don't think I'd have the energy for it anyway! Hopefully that'll change a bit once breastfeeding stops.
Aargh, I meant to say, this surgical protocol was initiated just over ten years ago, and the rate of ovarian cancer has dropped drastically - so thumbs up to Dr. Diane Miller who pushed it through (she was the head of the BC College of OB/GYN) even though she was laughed out of the first conference she presented her findings and theories to. 10 years later it's now standard across Canada (AFAIK) and she's been well vindicated.
Now if we could only get her to turn her attention to birth injuries... I bet this lady could get some changes made
Neptuna, it's my turn to say I'm sorry, I re-read my post and didn't mean to sound so cranky.
Unless the ovaries are diseased, they're usually left in when the patient isn't menopausal. So they don't catapult you straight into menopause. Interestingly, where I live (West Coast of Canada) they started taking out the Fallopian tubes with hysterectomies and even when women were in for voluntary sterilisarion, because they've found that the majority (80% plus) of ovarian cancers arise in the tubes. And that was a protocol initiated right here in Vancouver, at BC Women's Hospital. [proud Canadian emoticon]
Hi everyone, we're away from home for the week so only on my phone so please excuse typos etc.
I saw my gp last week, had a good chat about my anxiety and she really reassured me so feeling alot better. Regarding my current poo issues and scar pain theres nothing safe i can take or use so its back to physio urgently for me, and she said also to discuss everything with my consultant next week when i see them in case they can suggest anything.
So generally feeling a lot better and slightly more in control for now, and i have 2 weekly appointments with midwife or consultant now until baby arrives.
My DS arrived at 38+4 after my waters going at 38+1 and was 8lb 2oz so a good weight, and complete with rugby player shoulders (had shoulder dystocia too) and i do think our bodies generally tend to follow a trend so yup a little worried about early labour but theres nothin i can do so i'm just making sure i have my notes handy at all times now, just in case.
Oh and yes, the lawyer I spoke to said that unfortunately the hospital would just say that even if it had been stitched correctly, there is no guarantee that the stitching wouldn't have failed. To me that's bonkers, like saying well, I'm sorry we didn't do CPR when your husband had a heart attack, cardamom, but heart attack patients often die anyway...
TBH a lawsuit, even one I was likely to win, would probably just tip me over the edge.
Hi Neptuna. Sorry it's been a couple of days - I think this slipped down the page and I just missed it.
I really feel for you. So much of what you were saying in the reply to cravingcake struck a cord. The self blame. The I didn't do anything wrong. Other people's attitudes really pressing a button. Feeling like you are living in someone else's body. Have you thought about getting some therapy? I've been having EMDR for PTSD and, although I still have a long way to go, it has helped. I am less 'stuck' if you know what I mean.
I certainly share your rage at the fact that the real risks of childbirth are downplayed and it's only when the shit hits the fan that the true stats seem to come out. When I was pregnant, my doula also minimised the risks and, when I mentioned the threads here describing the injuries and the trauma, she said that she thought that lots of the stories were either made up or exaggerated. To my eternal shame, I accepted this . In my (not very good) defence, I was a MN newbie and so very much wanted to believe that these sorts of catastrophic experiences were almost unheard of.
I am back at the gym. I can do the exercise bike and other low impact cardio. Hate swimming, so that's out! I am doing some weights and a lot of core work - pilates, yoga, barre. I have also got back to dancing, which is really good for me! I miss the running, but I'm kind of OK with it - I feel my boxes are being ticked in terms of exercise and what I want to get out of it.
Today was your appointment with the Prof, wasn't it? How did it go? Any answers?
Whoops lots of typos and mistakes there, can't edit though as I'm on my phone . And I know you didn't actually go to the hospital with a gun and grenades cardamomginger!
Jacksmania glad to hear you're keeping the ovaries, sorry if I sounded a bit ignorant about that as I don't know much about hysterectomies! I'll be thinking about you over the coming months as you prepare for your surgery (((hug)))
cravingcake I don't blame you for being anxious about going into labour, I'd be a nervous wreck! Was your first bub early or late? Mine was 13 days early and labour came on very quickly, only lasted around 6 hrs, so I'd be very worried about going early too. Let me know when you get your c section date as I'll have lots of Qs to ask!! I hope the GP can suggest something helpful for the smearing apart from 'wear a liner'. So many of them just don't get it and brush it off, it makes you feel worse. One told me to 'just eat less fruit' re the wind problem or even muffle it with cotton wool up the bum crack !! I'm sure they'd feel differently if they lived even 1 day with these problems.
Thanks for giving me permission to rant, lol! I am angry. I'm sick of people saying "everybody tears" or "well I had 15 stitches, bet you didn't have that many" and especially "at least you have a healthy baby"! It's not fair, I didn't do anything wrong. I read all the books, exercised, ate well. Didn't use ANY pain relief (stupid move as I was screaming down the walls in agony) and even stayed at home until transition. Listened to the midwives, cooperated and put up with appalling post-natal care when I was told to "get up and change your baby, you haven't had a Cesar you know." Other mothers don't care, don't understand, can't relate. I feel like I'm in someone else's body, don't feel like me anymore and don't want to accept that this is the body I've now got. I keep wishing I could go back and relive the days before the birth when I felt 'normal'. And yet I want to move on, don't want to feel like this forever but find it hard to accept the new reality. I suppose I'll get there one day...
Hi everyone, we're in teething hell here. The DD is cutting in both top and bottom pairs at once, aaarrrgh!!
cardamomginger I agree about the classification of some years, they break a 3rd degree tear into 3a, 3b and 3c (and there is a huge difference between 3a and 3c) and yet there's no similar system for 2nd degree tears. Like you said, it could be so minor it's just a bad 1st degree or so extensive it's almost a 3a tear. I'm surprised they don't classify tears that tear upwards, I've heard of this happening to a few women and don't understand why it doesn't have a classification.
I'm glad your surgeries have helped with the urinary incontinence! The bulking agent you mentioned was the same thing that was suggested to me to use on the internal anal sphincter to help control wind. It sounds like the success rate wasn't overly high, not sure if it's the same when used with the urethra though. Three years is a long time to have a urinary infection! I really hope you can get some more answers about that from the immunologist. I've heard of women having repeat infections after delivery before, and I hope it's able to be treated quickly and successfully for you soon.
I'm with you there on the running my physio has forbidden me from any running, heavy weights, aerobics or pushing the pram (buggy? Stroller?) up a steel hill until at least 18 months PP, but she's actually told me she doesn't think they're activities I should really be doing at all anymore as it'll just increase my chance of prolapse and worsening incontinence. Makes me but I'm happy to avoid those activities to help my recovery. Are you able to do other activities you like, such as swimming or cycling? I love swimming but not much time for it with a 9 month old!
I'm sorry to hear you won't get back to a strength level of 5, but hey never say never!! My physio said most women after birth rarely get back to a 5 (unless they work hard at it) but I guess without significant tearing/prolapse it probably wouldnt affect them symptom-wise. The colorectal dr said if I could get to a 4 or 5 in the anal sphincters it should help with the wind problem, any weaker than that wouldn't have much of a chance of holding it. Really hope we both get to a 4 at least there!!!!!! Lots of and if we do!!
I'm also very that your complaint about the stitches was fibbed off, rarrrrgh!! I mean people sue for minor whiplash these days and get compensation. Your case was more than justified and you deserve to have that acknowledged by the hospital. I don't blame you for going back with a machine gun and grenades!! How was it that you didn't have a case? If your files stated the wrong sutures were used isn't it an obvious mistake? Or did they try to pin it on the "childbirth is damaging in the majority of cases regardless of repair technique blah blah" theory?
I've heard the sphincter-damage-without-external-tearing idea too. The colorectal dr said up to 30% of women show sphincter defects on endoanal ultrasound after vaginal delivery, but he said most remain asymptomatic until much later in life and it's usually the 3rd or 4th degree-ers who notice problems straight away. If so many women have this form of damage though, surely there's other women out there who have bum troubles too but don't talk about it? It would make me feel better in any case if I knew I wasn't the only one! ( along with you lovely ladies of course ). Also, if this sort of damage is possible and mostly irreparable, why aren't we all just having cesareans? No one certainly told me it was possible to be left incontinent after childbirth, I thought it was only a thing that happened to old ladies! There's no discussion of it in antenatal classes or the pregnancy books, which I think is outrageous. Women have a right to be told, even if it only happens in a small pecentage, and that's why you shouldn't blame yourself for what happened, even though it's natural to do so (I blame myself too). I thought hypermobility may have been a cause for my tear (which had no reason! Tiny 2.7kg bub, 25 minutes pushing, no interventions) but I don't fit any of the symptoms so the mystery continues I suppose.
Yes I do hope you're right and my symptoms continue to improve, I really do. I've always been hard on myself and I've been getting very down lately as I feel broken, disgusting and like my body is a failure. I know it's not but I can't help but feel that way!
Sorry Neptuna, I'd missed your post to me a few posts back.
No, no chance of having the op somewhere else, unless I want to go through the entire process of being referred to another urogynaecologist, and waiting a further year. There are not many of them around (I'm on the West Coast of Canada, not in the UK) and I like this one, so I'll have to suck it up.
And of course he's not taking out my ovaries. They're perfectly healthy and as far as I know, not falling down, unlike everything else [thank fuck emoticon]. If I were menopausal or close to it, I suppose it might be a different story, but as far as I know, the protocol is to preserve the ovaries whenever possible.