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Calling all Raggedies - the THIRD Ragged Bits thread. Childbirth injuries, sphincter problems, fistulae... all welcome.(846 Posts)
First thread here, May 2008 to June 2009.
Second thread here, June 2009 to Oct 2012.
Welcome everyone with ragged bits due to childbirth. We're sorry you had to find us, but we promise to hold your hand and listen.
There is no TMI here and nothing is too gross, too embarrassing or too horrible.
<lays out tea tray, buffet and alcoholic bar>
Hello, a new, NC person adding their name to the thread although I feel humbled by the stories on the last thread. I feel a bit like I'm showing up with the equivalent of a paper cut.
Anyway, my back story is I had DD 9 months ago. I had a prolonged rupture of membranes and was induced 36 hours later. It ended a day later in theatre with 5 epidurals and a spinal as I'm apparently resistant to those drugs. I had mid cavity forceps and an episotomy to second degree but I tore further to third degree.
At first all my NCT friends shared their war stories and wounds but then everyone else seemed to get better and it stops being the kind of thing you can talk about in real life.
I developed fissures around the tear which just won't ever fully heal (I'm hoping once I stop breastfeeding that might help) but in the meantime - ouch! Everything feels too tight and just hurts. Sex is pretty much non existent as it hurts although I was told that it would help the healing by my physio.
See I told you it was a paper cut.
RJ - it's NOT a paper cut. It isn't, so stop it! Everyone's injuries are relevant and important and just utterly shit. Nobody on this thread is allowed to compare herself to anyone else and feel ridiculous, or dismiss someone's else's injuries. Stop it or we will find you and plaster you with Tena Lady pads
Fissures are awful. I had an anal fissure that made it sixteen different kinds of hell to do a poo. <shudders at the memory>
What healed my fissure was taking magnesium capsules to soften my poo, mane not relevant to you, but also, I used Traumeel cream on my fissure to heal it. It's not really supposed to go on cuts or any kind of mucosa but someone told me about it, and I had nothing left to lose so I tried it. Miraculous!!!!!!! You can buy it on Amazon. If it does nothing for your fissures, it's still worth keeping around as its normally used for bruises and sprains/strains. Wonderful stuff.
Thanks Jacksmania you're very kind. I might look into Traumeel and magnesium. I'm on prune juice, fibrogel and lactulose which help. My diet probably doesn't so I'm my own worst enemy in that respect. Going back to work has helped - now its just stingy pain rather than I-want-vomit-and-pass-out pain. I actually have time to go for a poo at work.
Ha ha, yes! A nice relaxed poo with the door closed and no one hammering on it and shouting "MUMMMMEEEEEEEE!!!!"
But, the really important question is, have you read the "poo etiquette at work" threads?
Hi everyone. I am pg with dc5 . I had a third degree tear with dc1 which caused probs. I can't"hold on" , and recently just have no control whatsoever over wind which is just awful and mortifying and crap. I did experience the equally crap joys of ultrasound and manometry and they found an external sphincter defect. Not helped by the fact that I was originally told I had a second degree tear and it was sutured by a student.
Anyway, they did offer me cs but I declined after talking to the colorectal surgeon. I just feel its got so much worse recently. Anyway, nice to meet you all. I have lurked for ages.
Hello silentmammoth sorry to hear you've suffered for so long. How that they missed your third degree year the first time.
Jacksmania I've not read those threads - they sound fun! [triple checks namechange] I tend to use the loo downstairs from my office as its another department so they won't recognise my voice if I yelp with pain.
Hi Mammoth, I'm so glad you de-lurked
Congratulations on DC5!!!!
What was the colorectal surgeon's opinion on CS? Not worth it, not likely to help you?
I remember not being able to hold wind and poo after DS was born. Mortifying. Just ghastly.
RJ, I'll see if I can find some links for you
Hold on it your pelvic floor reading!
re yelps of pain though
If you go on Amazon, look for Magnesium glycinate 1000 mg capsules. Best stool softener ever.
I won't post all my gory details here again, they are in the last thread if anyone wants them!
Today I found out that I need to have surgery to fix an anterior rectocele which has left me incontinent...I will post on the prolapse thread too but I just wondered if anyone on this thread may have had this done or have any advice? I am scared. This is my second surgery due to complications from a forceps delivery 2 years ago. I am only 30 years old and really scared that I will be like this for the rest of my life!
So. Fuck you very much universe and wretched midwife who told me there was no point in her advocating for my wishes to avoid forceps (which she told me while I was crying and in (unmedicated) labour). I was right. They should have avoided forceps.
I'm right there with you, wanting to say "fuck you" to my own wretched midwife. If it hadn't been for her piss-poor choices (and, ok, me allowing her to make choices for me) I wouldn't be as I am today.
I'm so sorry, Whodvethought.
I don't have any advice re anterior rectocele but maybe one of the regular from previous threads will spot this and pop in.
I believe forceps should be banned.
Yes. I think forceps should be banned too. I am yet to hear of a woman having a good birth experience were they are used.
Whodhavethought I read your post on the other thread and I'm do sorry you went through that.
Forceps = instruments of Satan.
Yup. Medieval torture devices.
Hmmmm... next Mumsnet campaign? I'm only half joking.
The damage done by forceps is fucking grim.
Thank you...it has been wonderful finding this forum. So nice to meet other people who GET IT! Even though it's pretty wretched how many there are
Yes... I have all sorts of education in the medical field and had never ever heard that it was possible to become temporarily or permanently incontinent after childbirth. Until it happened to me.
And then there was no one to talk to. Until I found MN. I was half relieved to have found people who understood and more than half horrified that my story was one of the milder ones with, eventually, a pretty good outcome. I still can hardly believe some of the birth stories and injuries I've read about. Really? In this millennium, they still need to shred women's insides and outsides to get babies out?
This statement belongs on the Feminist threads (where I don't post)
- if men gave birth this stuff wouldn't happen. Or if it did, it would happen in a tiny fraction of cases.
Hi, I have watched this thread for a while now but never needed to post. Until today.
I had my DS 12 months ago, traumatic delivery involving bad epidural, forceps, shoulder dystocia, episiotomy (which tore further) and I ended up with 4th degree tear. I feel I have been really lucky as generally felt my scars were healing. Recently
more like about 3 months ago but never wanted to face up to reality i noticed a bit of extra skin where my perinium is, which has gotten bigger and is now painful.
So I have visited my GP today as I also have noticed a really 'heavy' feeling around my scars and can feel them, a bit like a bruise is the only way I can describe it. The lovely GP had a look and said yes I have a skin tag, there is growth on the scar tissue and looks like there is a defect. She has referred me to the gynae consultant I saw at the routine 16 week check-up but it will be a week or so before I get to see her. What I'm wondering is what the possible 'defect' is, she didnt say and I was a bit upset to ask at the time. My DH is away this week so feeling a bit fragile so definitely dont want to google anything.
Oh craving, I'm so sorry
A defect probably means that where your episiotomy was done, the skin is intact but the underlying muscle and connective tissue has separated. So there is more pressure on the scar tissue.
You'll very likely need it repaired
<offers hand to hold>
Thanks Jacks its so nice to find others who know what its like and understand.
Is there anything I need to know, or specifically ask when I see the gynae? We are planning on having another child, so will definitely be asking how this may affect me in that way. I already know I would have an ELCS so its more the stress of a second pregnancy on my body, and if I'll need repairing before or after.
Re forceps - I always want to point out, to the whole wide world, Odent's statement that he stopped using them in the 60s. His take was that ventouse or caesarean was always viable and always preferable.
Anyway, hello all. Forceps not my issue - I was lucky enough to have a really lovely birth, six months ago. However I did have a second degree tear, in spite of delivering in the perineum-friendly all-fours position. All the women in my family have torn, with fast labours, so I wasn't too surprised.
I developed a fissure about five weeks after the birth. I'm not sure how it was caused, but I do feel it's related to the tear or the stitches in some way. Miserable. I got referred to a CRS at 4m pp. He prescribed me a brilliant cream which cured me in a fortnight. I had a beautiful month and then relapsed. I had stupidly got a bit lax at applying cream twice daily. Think I'm on the mend again but far slower this time. Wish for the good old days of not stressing about poo. To the fissure sufferer up thread - I'd really recommend a prescription cream (I'm on diltiazem, but gtn and nifedipine are also used). Basically the anal sphincter goes into spasm which stops the wound from healing and means the softest poo feels like shards of glass - the cream stops the spasming.
I feel quite generally out of sorts Down Below. Like muscles are too tight/loose/generally out of balance somehow. No DP so no sex happily, I can't imagine ever wanting sex again. I love my baby and like I say I had a really lovely birth, but my body feels so wrecked by it all. <Self pity>
Hi, Cravingcake, I had my episiotomy repaired at 6 months pp after it tore at 10 weeks pp (long wait). The operation was straightforward and has held up well so far. I don't know how helpful my story is but I wanted to reassure you that in my case the surgery/recovery/pain was much, much less than when the tearing and episiotomy was originally done.
I found it helpful to ask lots of questions about what restrictions would be like in terms of weight I was allowed to carry, how long to wait before having sex again, what normal symptoms are following surgery. I had a look at myself after the surgery and freaked out because I thought the stitching had torn away, but it was FINE, just nobody had told me to expect to see a cut left in the skin, apparently they do that so it is less likely to tug and pull as you heal.
I am sorry you have to go through all this .
Thanks whodvethought. It is helpful to hear of others who have had similar, and also to know what to ask. Now its just a waiting game.
You guys seen the featured blogger on today's front page?
Rahter brilliant account of broken fanjo and urodynamic testing. I'll be reading her stuff from now on!
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