how can i get strrong?

[festiveface]

was going to change name as i feel a prat posting this but,

basically i'm o.k day to day but i don't feel i can cope if i have to look after the kids alone i.e if partner is away overnight say.

I have this terrible fear of them being ill which could be bordering on phobic!

if he goes out drinking i feel really worried because i know that he won't be back until the early hours and then of course be drunk.

he drives for a living and when he's off somewhere miles away that makes me feel the same.

trouble is, we aren't getting on very well and im know i need to stand on my own 2 feet and no that i can cope alone without going into panic mode if i have to.

i am on my own tonight and so far have checked ds2 about 5 times! my kids are schoolage fgs i am pathetic! i imagine every awful scenario possible.

[moondog]

Well,as someone who spendsmany nights alone with two children,the first thing to do is be rational.
Have you neighbours close by?
If so,you are NOT alone!

People will help if the worst comes to the worst.
I have survived times in the wilds of Eastern Turkey with a new baby and a three year old when dh has gone abroad.
It is ok,Ipromise you.

[festiveface]

thnaks
i think thats the problem though, i'm not rational!

i get in such a panic,
will they have an accident again and i have to go to a&e, will i need to ring nhs direct or would that be wrong..i should be on to an emergency doctor...or i might miss some vital sign and and and....
the house might go on fire...
and so my mind goes on. i am ashamed.

[moondog]

A long night alone with no adult company is not good for your mind..gets you thinking weird thoughts.
You aren't alone in that.

Make a point of doing a bit of MNing and only keeping to light hearted threads before you retire.