My feed
Premium

Please
or
to access all these features

Mumsnet doesn't verify the qualifications of users. If you have medical concerns, please consult a healthcare professional.

General health

My dilemma......

13 replies

noddyholder · 08/01/2006 13:23

is that I really really want a baby.I have health problems a heart condition and I have had 2 kidney transplants in 1985 and 2000.I had my ds in 1994 and I was in the same situation health wise and had a very easy pregnancy but a year after he was born my kidney (transplant)failed unexpectedly and I was eventually on dialysis when he was aged 3 - 6 than I had another transplant in 2000 and have been ok since.I got pregnant 5 weeks after my 2nd transplant a complete mistake and I was advised to have a termination at the time which I did and have never really got over as I did want more children.I have since been told by a junior doctor that I should have gone ahead with that pregnancy as I would have been fine.I am now 40 and still considering having another even though ds is 11.It is literally now or never,we considered adoption but changed our minds.I really thought I was over it all but it has raised his head again and recently my consultant told me that there was no connection between my original transplant failing and the birth of my son it was a coincidence and my kidney would have failed at that time anyway.My new heart doctor says my heart was the same with my last pregnancy I just didn't know and that people with my condition often sail through pregnancy.Now it is just down to me to decide dp will support me regardless but I am worried I am being selfish to bring another child into my crazy medical world otoh my ds has a great life is full of confidence and seems to be well balanced considering some of the times he's seen me ill.BTW dp is 45 aqnd majorly healthy and fit and very hands on I just want to decide and move on Thanks for listening I am feeling it a lot today xxx

OP posts:
Report
WideWebWitch · 08/01/2006 13:25

nh, I'm not sure whether the medical advice is that it would be ok or wouldn't, which is it? If it's go ahead then I would in your position.

Report
noddyholder · 08/01/2006 13:26

The medical advice is that it would be fine and wouldn't worsen my condition but I am worried that because of my age I might be bringing a child into a situation where it could worsen later but I know these are all what ifs

OP posts:
Report
LadySherlockofLGJ · 08/01/2006 13:28

Noddy


I know exactly how you feel, minus the kidney problems.

I have PPCM and I have been told to have another baby would be madness.

The only thing that keeps me from sliding in to a pit of despair sometimes is the fact that I can still hear my consultant saying to me.

DS needs a Mummy more than you need another baby.


I wanted four,I have one, he is a little belter, I feel very very blessed.

It is a hard decision for you to have to make, but I know the one I would make.

Report
NomDePlume · 08/01/2006 13:29

I'd go for it, in that case.

Report
NomDePlume · 08/01/2006 13:31

But, LGJ, noddy's docs have all told her that another pregnancy & birth would not have an adverse effect on her condition.

Report
LadySherlockofLGJ · 08/01/2006 13:35

I would still be concerned about the future.

But the decision has to be Noddy's

Report
trefusis · 08/01/2006 13:35

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

noddyholder · 08/01/2006 13:35

I don't have post partum cardiomyopathy I ahve hypertrophic and always have including when I was pregnant with ds I never felt better tbh and this is (according to docs)because during pregnancy the extra blood flowing around is great for a heart like mine.

OP posts:
Report
LadySherlockofLGJ · 08/01/2006 13:35

Perhaps I shouldn't have posted a reply.


Too close for comfort.

Report
PrettyCandles · 08/01/2006 13:36

None of us can plan our lives or our families' lives. We just have to do the best we can. One of us in the best of health could keel over and you still be going strong. If the medical advice is that you can carry and bear a child in safety, if your dp wants another and is supportive, and if you so dearly want another, then go ahead and try for one.

Report
noddyholder · 08/01/2006 13:37

No I am intersted in all replies Many people with cardiomyopathies have succesful pregnancies it is not unusual according to statistics What I really need is to just accept the staus quo but I can't atm

OP posts:
Report
noddyholder · 08/01/2006 15:11

LGJ I hope I haven't upset you I was just trying to get things straight im my mind before I decide I am seeing my doctor Tuesday and would really need to decide as it would involve a change of medication

OP posts:
Report
getbakainyourjimjams · 08/01/2006 19:24

I wouldn't do it. I think there comes a stage when you are better off being grateful, for what you have. Incidentally if you had no children I'd say go for it. (My mum wanted 6, got me, and has always been happy with that- how could she not be )

Report
Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.