Phobia's in children?

[Heartmum2Jamie]

Is it possible to have a true phobia at 4 years old? The reason I ask is that my 4 yr old ds is scared of water. He is fine in the bath and enjoys having baths. He even likes being in the paddling pool or going swimming. The problem arises when he gets splashed in the face or on his head. He then starts to cry until he can wipe the water off his face. Hair washing is an alomst non exsistant things for ds. I have tried the gentle, gentle approach, using a visor, having a towel over his face and ears, using the shower head. It doesn't matter how I try and wash his hair, it is a horrible, traumatic experience for both of us. I know that there is a psychologist attached to our local sure start. Do you think I should call and speak to her about it? I just want to help him with his fear so he doesn't end up like me and my emetophobia

[daisiesinaline]

Oh my DS1 was the same. Has he always been like this or has it suddenly developed?

My DS1 was like it from very young (few months). Hated water anywhere near his face or head. He used to SCREEEEAAAAMMM every time we washed his hair. Anybody would think we were drowning him! We just ignored and kept on going. He eventually grew out of it and will swim underwater and stand completely under the shower to have his hair washed without a murmur. (Now 8 years). Probably grew out of it at about 5 or 6 - can't quite remember.

[Heartmum2Jamie]

He has been like this for as long as I can remember. He also screams. As a matter of fact I was washing his hair on Xmas eve and he was screaming at me that he would rather go to bed early than have his hair washed.

At least I have hope that he may grow out of this fear.

[blueshoes]

I can't really answer your question except to say I have a phobia (or strong dislike?) of water getting into my eyes.

It really stings my eyes. To this day, I cannot open my eyes under water and if I had to do this, I would really panic. I now swim using googles. Still don't like washing hair though, and would keep my eyes tightly closed. Dunno if that could be what your ds is concerned about.

[followthestarlover]

have you tried getting him to do it himself? lean a mirror up by the bath so he can see what he is doing, and let him do the shower/pour the water over?

or, this may be a little tricky... but do a wash like at a hairdressers? if you can get his head tipped backwards over the bath or sink and do it that way?

also, try a star chart. if he is good and doesn't make a big fuss then he gets a star, and eventually a reward.
I have to say I would tend to ignore it and just get on and do it.

[Heartmum2Jamie]

I guess that I could try getting min to have a go himself, he's 4 1/2 and needs to learn sometime! I have tried the ignoring route too. Dh normally bathes the kids and it turned out that ds hadnt had his hair washed for nearly 4 weeks as dh didn't want to do it....

[crimbocrazydazy]

Hi Heartmum, how are you? As you might remember, can totally understand your worries with regard to your kids developing a phobia.

I too have the same phobia as you and am very dismayed to find my 5 year old daughter is showing signs of having the same phobia

She heard someone saying the other day that there was a tummy bug going around and ever since then has been frightened to go to the loo in case she has diarrhoea (I remember being like this too as a child) she also panics when she feels sick and one of the mum's whose daughter is in DD's class says that her DD had told her that my DD runs out of the room every time someone is sick.

I am so sad that she is showing signs of being like this as I have tried my very utmost for her never to see how it affects me but she is very intelligent and she has probably picked up that I don't like it. She hasn't actually been sick for about 2 years [touch wood] and I am dreading it when it happens.

[Heartmum2Jamie]

Crazydazy, I am doing ok, but am definately panicing about these nasty tummy bugs going around. It doesn't help that dh thinks that my phobia is stupid. I asked him how he thought ds would feel if we told him he was being stupid about water. I think he could see my point. Ihave yet to take the 1st step to helping myself, so am not sure what to do to help ds.

Your poor dd. I wouldn't wish emetophobia on anyone, and she is so young. I can't really remember when I started, but I was much older than that.

[crimbocrazydazy]

I think I was definitely as young as her when I started with it, I have definitely had it the whole of my life. Horrible time of year for us though isn't it? Couldn't go on Mumsnet the other day as everybody's kids seemed to be ill with this bug and set me off worrying about my kids, I have been on tenterhooks for weeks now, I hate it.

[ItllBeLonelymumThisChristmas]

Hi girls, why am I here? It really doesn't help me to get involved, but here I am anyway.... sigh!

just wanted to say Heartmum, that my children all reacted like yours to water in the face and having their hair washed etc, but my oldest two (aged 9 and 8) are fine now - swim underwater, wash hair standing up under a shower with water pouring d=own their faces, etc). Dd (5) still doesn't like water on her face but tolerates hair washing and ds3 (2) is still at the scream the house down stage and hysteria until the single drop of water on his face is wiped off. So such extreme behaviour can wear off in time. I would say, keep the hair washing very controlled. I only put in a tiny amount of water and make ds3 lie back in the bath. When he realises the water doesn't even cover his ears, he is less panicky. I think the more they feel in control, the better it is too, and the less likely it will turn into a phobia.

As for tummy bugs............don't tell me about them. I don't want to know!!!!

[feastofsteven]

I used to hate water on my face/having hair washed until I was approaching my teens. Having a towel over my face helped. I have prety much grown out of it!