Flying phobia

(22 Posts)
bowbear Tue 08-Mar-16 12:04:31

I may have to fly to Australia in a few weeks time, I have done this journey many time tho not for a while. My fear of flying has got worse and worse over the years and I'm dreading it. I will be traveling with DD15 and DS5.

Can anybody suggest an anti anxiety med that will help to keep me calm but not knock me out as I have to be able to take care of the children, especially the little one.
Thanks x

AttilaTheMeerkat Tue 08-Mar-16 13:44:29

Rescue remedy may help.

Newer treatments for fear of flying involve traditional methods of cognitive-behavioural therapy, or CBT, tailored to flying. Therapy includes techniques for managing anxiety, such as diaphragmatic breathing, to use while on the flight. People who are sensitized to bodily sensations during take-off, landing, or turbulence are desensitized to these triggers.

I would also consider enrolling on a fear of flying course; many airlines offer these and that could give you reassurance as well.
Education helps calm anxiety, too: how a plane flies, facts about turbulence, and the meaning of the various sounds and bumps during a normal flight

nmg85 Tue 08-Mar-16 17:50:46

Have you considered hypnotherapy? It helped me... I will never like flying and I am not sure I could do more then 7/8 hours yet but the thought of a 3 hour flight doesn't fill me with dread like it did this time last year.

bowbear Wed 09-Mar-16 09:08:08

Thanks so much for your suggestions, therapy does sound like a better option than medication as I don't want to be away with the fairies whilst trying to look after the kids. I haven't flown for over three years now and could really do without a 24 hour flight to ease me back into it!!

nmg85 Wed 09-Mar-16 09:30:51

You still have time to do it, they say most people only need a couple of sessions.

mrsmortis Wed 09-Mar-16 14:26:02

Virgin airlines do a course called 'Flying without fear' which I've heard good things about. Perhaps doing one of those would help?

www.flyingwithoutfear.co.uk/

mummymeister Thu 10-Mar-16 08:41:10

I go down the drug route because my fear is based on an "incident". Hypnotherapy really helped and even though I had it 20+ years ago I can still hear his voice on flights! I also take diazepam. you aren't knocked out with it just takes the edge off and if you speak to your gp they should prescribe as a one off. you will need to let your children know that you are doing this so that they can help more.

JoandMax Thu 10-Mar-16 08:43:28

Definitely try a fear of flying course - I did the BA one last year and while I still don't like flying and get very anxious I'm so much better than I was!

I did try hypnotherapy but didn't feel it was that effective for me, hard facts and figures from the course worked much better

Soapmaker34 Tue 15-Mar-16 13:47:32

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Soapmaker34 Tue 15-Mar-16 13:48:22

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

InvictusVersinium Tue 15-Mar-16 13:51:50

I tried all the CBT stuff and nothing really helped. The only thing I didn't do was the flight course. I read loads of books and talked extensively to a friend who overcame her fear (by becoming an "airplane geek" - she knows everything about commercial flying/planes there is to know and this helped/helps her overcome her fear.)

I resigned myself to drugs.

GP prescribes Beta Blockers and Diazepam. I am still (sadly) coherent enough to care for all the lovely children that are in my accompaniment.

hudyerwheesht Tue 15-Mar-16 13:56:18

Meds won't make you "away with the fairies" - especially beta blockers which just take away the physical symptoms (churning stomach, etc).
Diazapam likewise won't make you drowsy or out of it - just a very mild slightly drunk sensation about 15mins after taking it but that wears off and you just generally feel more relaxed.

I've taken both many times when flying with the kids, even when they were younger than yours are now.

Good luck!

ps - easyjet do good courses, really helped me.

gottachangethename1 Tue 15-Mar-16 14:02:48

10mg of diazepam works wonders. I get it every year from GP. Take it when airport staff at the departure gate tell you it's time to board the aircraft, by the time the plane taxis it will have kicked in.

AliciaMayEmory Tue 15-Mar-16 14:15:28

I used to be seriously afraid of flying. I tried hypnotherapy (didn't work and I tried 3 different therapists over the years) and used diazepam (great for short term use btw) but finally after a particularly trying flight from France I realised that I couldn't go on crying for the duration, hiding in the bathroom or trying to hold up the plane with my arm rests (those who are scared of flying will know what I mean!). I booked myself on the virgin flying without fear course and it has transformed our holidays. We now fly long haul without any problems. I still take diazepam in my bag just in case, but haven't used it since the course 3 years ago. We have flown in storms, lightening, rain and snow. We've had some rough turbulence and once I got over the initial thoughts of OMG I realised I could deal with it and actually fell asleep whilst we were bumpin around. Before I would have been popping extra diazepam and hiding under a blanket with one of the kid's cuddly toys!!

If you have time, I would really recommend the course. It's not 100% successful as there were about 5 people who didn't go on the flight at the end (the course leaders are fantastic if this happens), but for the other 100 or so if us we had a really jolly flight round the north of England with experienced pilot narrating every sound, bump, clunk and beep! Really reassuring.

If you don't have time to fit it in this time round, book in for later in the year and ask your GP for diazepam. Doesn't make you sleepy unless you take a high dose, but take the edge off the fear and makes you feel so much more relaxed. I hope it goes well for you. I remember those days so well.

AliciaMayEmory Tue 15-Mar-16 14:15:52

Blimey, so sorry about the enormous post!! blush

InvictusVersinium Tue 15-Mar-16 14:22:49

Very good endorsement Alicia - I may try the course, especially as most of our flights are long haul and I end up taking quiiiite a bit of diazepam and propranolol.

AliciaMayEmory Wed 16-Mar-16 18:38:28

InvictusVersinium I wasn't convinced it would work I was that frightened before hand, and even throughout the day right up until the flight I thought that I was still as bad, but once you've had all the information given to you, the relaxation session and been on the flight it all sort of slots together. Also you start to notice things after the course that they spoke about, like how much things in your car move about on a flat road compared to the smoothness of a plane etc and how your drink would slosh everywhere in the car yet you just casually sip hot coffee on a plane. It's very clever!

JoandMax Fri 18-Mar-16 03:14:06

So my flight is tomorrow and nerves are kicking in big time, I bloody hate feeling like this, it's exhausting! All I want to do is crawl into my bed and pretend it's not happening....... Trying so hard to remember everything from my course and have diazepam ready but still dreading it!

Drama99 Fri 18-Mar-16 03:25:08

No advice, but you have my sympathy. I too hate flying.

I hate the way the fear spoils the excitement you ought to be feeling about going on a lovely holiday. When DH and I discuss holiday destinations, my first question is always 'how long will the flight take?'. Any more than 3 hours and the negatives of the flight will outweigh any positives o the destination.

It's annoying, but in my mind utterly logical!

I might try one of those courses people have mentioned. And definitely some drugs!!!!

hudyerwheesht Fri 18-Mar-16 07:35:06

joandmax - I know that feeling and can sympathise.

For me though the anticipation is usually worse than the actual event. The problem is at the moment you aren't putting the course stuff into action ( it's out of context at the moment so won't work as well)or taking the tablets. Once you actually get to the airport and can do both of those things it will seem better, I'm sure.

If it's not too late to advise this I would suggest taking a tablet during the evening or before you go to sleep, it will help.

Good luck!

AliciaMayEmory Fri 18-Mar-16 09:41:21

JoandMax I hope your flight is OK today. Did they do the bottle of water thing and the elastic band snap? I found them helpful to distract and calm me. Take those tablets and if there is in flight entertainment just pick something funny and wack the volume up. Virgin cabin crew member showed me this during turbulance! She was supposed to be in her seat but she stayed with me by wrapping her arm round the arm rest of my seat (and just chatted to me as though were at the bus stop oh-so-casually and not buming about in the sky!!) It really helped as you don't hear all the other cabin noises and you kind of forget you are in a plane. Remember that the plane is designed to fly and stay up there. You only need the engines to get in the sky and after that the plane happily glides along. Planes love air movement, it's us humans who don't like it. Planes cannot 'drop', it just feels that way as we have no point of reference, and finally talk to your cabin crew as they will keep an eye on you and are usually more than happy to put your mind at rest. It will all be over by this evening and you can then feel good about your achievement that you have done it even though your were scared. That is the best feeling.

JoandMax Fri 18-Mar-16 14:00:29

Flight is first thing tomorrow, 13.5 hours to go! We've had a lovely day, including a few gins, as its DS2s 6th birthday. I'm so looking forward to being home so just going to grin and bear the process to get there ....... It's kind of a bit like labour - hideous to get through but a fantastic end result.
Thanks so much for all the supportive posts, it really does help to know other people understand and empathize x

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