I wouldn't usually recommend wiping your phone and starting again as it's obviously disruptive but you could try backing up your phone to your laptop and then following the process below but, when the step to login to apple ID and icloud comes use yours.
There is quite a risk that you loose all your data doing this so maybe going into an Apple Store to ask for help on a Genius bar would be safer.
I'm sorry you've had a hard time, I really hope now that you've split from your ex you have a great 2014.
I aren't an expert but just noticed on my phone (I'm having iphone trouble too at the moment!) that when I went to settings and scrolled down there's an icloud tab, press it and at the bottom it says delete account. I assume this would delete the icloud account but not do anything to your phone? On itunes, when you connect your phone to your computer you can choose where everything is backed up to, make sure you back up to your computer, not to icloud.