My husband and I have been together for 6 years and married for 1 year. He is bisexual. He goes to saunas to have s*x with other men. I have known about this for a long time and am comfortable with it. There is obviously a risk he will catch an STD so we practice safe s*x. Last year he caught syphillis, but didn't pass it on to me.

In August we decided to start TTC. He stopped going to the sauna and had STD checks - all clear. To be totally clear of HIV we need to wait 3 months before having unprotected s*x. Last week he told me he was desperate to go to the sauna and didn't think he could hold out for the full 3 months. He ended up going and now I feel completely deflated - I have been so looking forward to having a baby, and it seems like we'll never make it through the 3 months (and further months depending on how long it takes to conceive). He feels terrible and really guilty.

Has anyone else been in this situation?

No I haven't been in that situation as I am not a doormat.
That is not what "Marriage" is about.

I don;t believe he feels that bad or he would be at your feet promising never to do ot again!

How can you have a loving marriage when he sleeps with other men knowing this will scupper your chances of having a baby - that says it all - can't you see it - he is putting his urges before your happiness!

Haven't been in this situation but he is being very selfish. Why can't he use protection with the people he is not committed to?

Ironic that you feel the need to replace the E with a *, yet you are happy for your husband to be having extra marital sex with strangers.

I can only imagine that your self esteem must be non existent to allow yourself to be devalued in this way.
My advice would be to find a man who can manage to be faithful before you ttc.
The whole 'i can't manage 3 months' is a pile of steaming crap, how can he commit to starting a family if he can't even commit to this?

What is s*x?

Is it like fucking?

What on earth has happened in your life that you think this shell of a relationship is A Good Thing?

You are quite mad if you think bringing children into this abusive situation is a plan.

Please please dont'.

'Oooh I'm bisexual that means I have to cheat on you'

What the fucking fuck?

And what is it with this big myth that men have sexual urges that cannot be physically controlled?

Bisexuality does not mean infidelity.

And s*x?

Wow, you all have very extreme views.

Prosecco, he does have protected sex but there is still always a risk.

I don't see myself as a doormat. I love him and accept him for who he is. We area really happy together. By forcing him not to go to the sauna I would be trying to change him.