Hi, my names Bryony and I'm studying journalism at university. At the moment I'm writing a story about fertility treatment for single parents and same sex couples and the challenges they face. I've been finding it really hard to get the view of somebody who is actively trying for a baby and just wondered if you might be able to give me your views.
Thanks very much,
Bryony

Spursdon, in response to your question, my DW and I have a gorgeous 9 month old son conceived via fertility 1st. Although they might not be the right route for everyone, they were the perfect choice for us - in fact we are going to try for #2 shortly ! We ended up having about five 'deliveries' over four months, but obviously there are no guarantees on how long it can take (or if it will ever work). One piece of advice I would offer is look at your finances and set yourself a 'timelimit'. We agreed we would try this route for 12 months and if it didn't work then we would consider a clinic.
Best of luck
Goalie

Hi Mariasue - we were gutted we missed out too with the automatic parental rights for our second child.

Basically - you need to right to your local council adoption agency informing them of your intention to adopt through step-parent adoption. You then wait for them to get in touch with you. This only took a month or so with two diferent authorities for us, but I understand for some people the wait can be a long time.

You then get a visit from a social worker and they have to do about 5 visits to you. You then have to fill in a long form and send it to your local family court (this has to be at least three months after your initial letter). They write to your social worker requesting a report, and you go to court for an initial court hearing. You then get given a date for the final hearing and hey presto you're a legal parent!

It was really straight forward as we used a clinic, but it was a bit of effort and the social worker struggled to find things to ask us! If you want any more info feel free to CAT me.

Hi has anyone actually on here had any success with fertility1st? i am seriously thinking of using them in the next months to come, thanks

mariasue1 - start another thread and I'll advise you. DP has adopted DS1 and we've started the process with DS2.

The PP book is very good BP, wish it had been around seven years ago.

Thanks Mariasue1, there are indeed a lot of issues to consider! I'm hopeful that our NHS trust will fund treatment, and we both need to have a think about what would be the best treatment - I know that some trusts offer for example either 3 tries at IUI OR 1 try of IVF. As far as I know there are no fertility problems but I guess they'll check those kinds of things out once we get the ball rolling. That's assuming my PCT funds same-sex couples. I don't know anyone who has done this in our area so we'll have to wait and see. I have also heard that you miss out on funded treatment if you have paid for any in the past so the first stop is definitely the GP!
Thanks for all your advice! I will keep you all posted as to how I get on. For now I'm getting stuck in to Stonewall's Pregnant Pause book which arrived a couple of days ago and seems to be full of useful information.

DORCHIES (or anyone!) - wondered if you could offer any advice re adoption? I am in civil partnership but unfortunately missed the boat for having my partner put on birth cert after our IVF. not sure where to start! I am biological mum and want my partner to adopt our daughter to be legally recognised as parent.... anyone any experience of process?

bluepumpkin = wish you the best of luck - having a child is the best (and most tiring thing!) ever ! there are loads of issues here! One is the presence of a known donor - from personal experience i am glad we went through a clinic using an unknown donor (whose idententity our daughter will be able to access at age 18 if she so wishes) as this has made our partnership equal. There is obviously the right of child debate and we will raise her knowing she is donor conceived, but personally rather this than a known donor where although it can sometimes work out well, i have known all sorts of conflicts which are not good for the child. The clinic route is obviously safest with regards to genetic testing and infections - remember at the end of day, unfortunately most clinics are intersted in producing results and making a profit, whether private or NHS, although ultimately they are doing good, they still need to make money to keep going! think about this in your choice of treatments and use of drugs and the longer term effects on your body! It is good idea to research IUI and IVF so you know more about it. My ultimate advise is to start earlier than later because these things take time and sometimes money (incidentally Nhs trusts now offer treatment free to lesbian couples and it is best to try these first before going private as once you have received private treatment they can refuse nhs funded treatment) and in between trying have time together/take breaks etc so you are not just focusing on getting pregnant - it worked for us! maria x

Hi

I am the non-bio parent of a 17 week DS. We went to aprivate clinic as there is a derth of sperm donors since the govt decided to lose the right to anonymity. We had a great service, although the process took a long and expensive root. I wish you all the best, and it is all worth it, every penny and every second of anguish.

We never felt judged by clinic staff btw, everyone was very helpful and supportive.